Ep181 - Aim Low: Fitness for Beginners with Cheri Paige Fogleman - HIListically Speaking with Hilary Russo

Episode Transcript
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Cheri Paige Fogleman (00:00):
I remind people of this all the time.
You know, I don't run a marathon to win it.
I run a marathon to experience it.
It's about the like, the training aspect of
it, but also being there in community with
these other people who have also been
training, and we're all there together,
working through this like journey for lack

(00:23):
of a better word together.
This 26.2 mile journey, you know, and it's
like, this is not about competition.
I don't want to beat the person next to me,
I want to cross the finish line with them
80%.

Hilary Russo (00:39):
When you hear about people starting their
fitness journey, about starting a new habit,
especially at the beginning of the year,
believe it or not, 80% is the percentage
that quit by February and that can really
leave people feeling kind of down about
themselves.
Maybe you've been through that too.
So what do you do to keep moving?
How do you keep that mindset from moving

(01:00):
forward and being able to be in a positive
frame of mind On top of joining me for one
of my Havening Happy Hours, which is always
a great way keep that mindset from moving
forward and being able to be in a positive
frame of mind On top of joining me for one
of my Havening Happy Hours, which is always
a great way to be kind to your mind and
work on habits and thoughts and moods and
behaviors?
I want to welcome my good friend, Cheri
Page Fogelman, to come on the show, because
she's not just a trainer.

(01:22):
She's a lifeline for fitness newbies and
returning warriors alike, helping you live
longer, stronger and definitely more
fulfilling.
With over two decades of experience, Cheri,
you've been a powerhouse and have breathed
life into everything from cardio sculpt to
core classes and everything in between.

(01:43):
We've had so much fun when we met together
working on Daily Burn 365, which is where
we were like pioneers on the show.
We started on that show back, I think,
almost 10 years ago, and it's countless
programs that you have developed over the
years have been a part of over the years,
including Good Vibes, wellness, burn Along

(02:03):
and you bring such passion and knowledge
and just pure motivation to the mat Girl.
It is so good to see you.
I haven't seen you, I haven't been in your
physical space in years and I feel like I
just saw you yesterday on set.

Because we look exactly the same as we did.
Then Do we?
Do we look the same?
I don't even know.

We haven't aged a day, Not a moment.
Not a day, not a minute skill.
This is just so great to be with you.

I'm just so glad.
It's so good to be here.

Thank you for having me, Hilary.
This is amazing.
You were one of the first people, if not
the first person, I thought of, because you
work so much with people who are in the
beginner side of working out.
And when we think about working out, when
we think about fitness, there is that
fitness negative right, that whole idea of
like I need to exercise to lose weight, I
need to exercise for this one goal.

And I thought you know what you are just.

You were just a wealth of information in
this area and I remember it too because you
know, going back nine years now almost I
think it was 2015, where we first met on
set, I had taken a break from fitness
myself and I'm like, oh my God, how am I
going to do this?
I mean, this is hard.
And just taking that first step, like will
I follow through?

(03:12):
And just seeing how you've shown up for
people over the years, it's like the
perfect example of the perfect coach and
somebody to be by your side because you
really do it so beautifully.

Oh, thank you.
You know, I'm one of those people I just
don't give up.
I really have that marathon mentality and I
think I was maybe born with it and maybe
that like is hard to relate to for other
people, but that's how I show up for people
and that is like my superpower.
Yeah, you know.
So I'm just been really trying to you know.
So I'm just been really trying to hone in

(03:46):
on how I can help people with that.

Yeah definitely.

I love how you said that I am helping
people live those longer, stronger and more
fulfilling lives.
That's that's really the key, right?
It's so funny.
I just want to like kick the first person
who decided to do a marketing campaign that
fitness was all about weight loss because
it is.
It is actually.

(04:10):
Eating is more about weight loss and
fitness is more about so many other amazing
things immune system, skin health, heart,
lung health, never mind how it helps you in
your daily life, just to help you feel more

(04:31):
awake and more warm and have to clear that
foggy head feeling, and it actually helps
with your creativity.
So often people are using fitness as a
springboard for weight loss and when they
don't see the weight loss, they lose heart
and abandon it when they're missing out on

(04:52):
all these other benefits of weight loss in
the meantime, right.
But why do people drop off?
Why do people lose their New Year's
resolution focus?
I think a lot of times people aim too high
and I really coach to aim low, which sounds

(05:12):
it's like the opposite of what your
graduation speaker said to you.
Right, aim low.
You never hear a trainer say that, but I do
say that a lot.
Aim low.
Let's take care of these small goals.
Make them part of your daily or weekly life
and your regimen and then build on those
from there.
I think people also just set themselves up

(05:35):
for failure when they don't give themselves
grace.
They're like I'm going to do this every day.

Like they fill out the chart and there are
some people that do that Absolutely, but
they didn't start there.
Ch.
There are some people that do that
Absolutely, but they didn't start there,
right.

Chances are, they didn't start there.
There's the one in a thousand that starts
there and succeeds and that's wonderful.
Bravo to them.
But I think I know for myself, even like to
say I'm going to do this every day and then,
like I've already like my, I'll share my
new year's resolution.
This year is to learn how to do a handstand.

(06:10):
It's a little thing but as a woman in my
midlife, it's a kind of a fun resolution.
And I was a modern dancer for 10 years and
professionally, and this was still one of
those things that I was never.
I wasn't a gymnast, I was a dancer but
never a gymnast.
So like I didn't do handstands.
So this year I was like you know what?
This is something, and it's really not

(06:32):
about doing the handstand, it's about
making the commitment to continue to
practice, the process goal yeah.

The try, the try is the big part, the try.

And I'm giving myself grace.
I haven't gotten it on every day, but still
getting it in.
As much as I've had was more than when I
didn't have it as a goal.
Yeah, so I'm already doing better, even
though I'm not like checking off every day,
and there's not a gold star every day on my
chart, you know.
So give yourself grace.

Grace is a big one.
I talk about that a lot too.
I love that you're in alignment with that.
Because we go for these huge goals and if
we fail, the, the outcome, the final what
we're looking for, it's easier to give up
because you're like I'm never going to get
there.
I'm never going to get there.
So the aiming low doesn't necessarily mean
you have to end low.
It's just the next step to the next low and
the next low.

(07:26):
Right, you're stacking.
Yeah, that's a really good way of putting
it.
Do you share that?
When you, when you approach those that
you're working with and you say aim low, I
would imagine some of the looks you might
get are like, girlfriend, I'm like I'm not,
but I have big goals I want to run a
marathon.

What do you mean?
Aim low, right.
So when you have reached that process goal,
that initial aiming low process goal, then
you can reevaluate and readjust and you aim
for the next low level Right, and from here,
like when you're walking upstairs, each
level isn't that much higher than the last

(08:03):
one.
But then when you get to the top of the
stairs and you look back down, you're like
wow, I came up a whole flight of stairs.

You know, yeah, you don't realize it's a
big deal.
Right, yeah, right.

So baby steps.

Definitely.
I love that, and you know one of I was on.
I was working out this morning with a bunch
of our old friends from our DB 365 days and
a number of them.
I said, hey, I'm talking to Cheri today and
the questions were flooding and first of
all, they're like tell her.
You said hi, we love how she supports us.

(08:35):
So we're getting all the shout outs today.
But one of the questions that actually came
up was that when you have a loved one
actually this came up more than once from a
couple of the gals in the group and I think
it was Liz and Leah so shout out to them
how, how do you encourage a loved one to
work out or to move their body and give

(08:59):
them that incentive to want to do so?
When you're doing it, you know how do you
do that without being like you need to do
this or what.
So that was something they brought up and
that was a really good question.

Oh, that is such a good question because it
can be so sensitive and I think one of the
just as an aside, one of the most important
things I've done as a personal trainer
recently was become a trauma informed
personal.

Yes, ma'am.

And I'm really sensitive to all of these
negative connotations that fitness has and
how they can be so triggering, right.
And so I think, like me personally, some of
the things I've done for folks because I'm
on this like crusade for fitness and my

(09:44):
family and friends and neighbors know it,
you know so they also kind of like they're
like.
Sometimes I can sense that they're like
talking to me as they might talk to like a
priest or a minister or something you know.
They kind of like curb their language when
they're talking about the food they eat or,
you know, curb their language when they're
talking about when they didn't work out.

(10:05):
You know as much as when they're talking
about when they didn't work out.
You know as much as they wanted to, or
whatever.
And I'm like you guys, I'm here to support.
I'm not here to judge, and it's nice to
remind your family members of that.
I'm here to support.
I'm not here to judge.
But it's also really helpful, I've found,
to invite them along on a walk to make it
about a social thing instead of making it
about a fitness thing.

(10:25):
We can walk and talk and we're going to
walk and talk and then, hey, how about we
take that route next time?
So it's not about like exercise per se, but
it's about that time together.
Um, I have a friend who is, you know,
doesn't like exercise.
She knows it, I know it.
She tells me all the time I didn't get her

(10:47):
a gym membership as a gift.
I got her a museum vip pass as a gift,
because she, when she's in a museum, she
walks like a woman on a mission to see all
the exhibits, but and and it's inside,
right, so the weather doesn't affect it,
but to get her a gym membership would have

(11:08):
really been a like like, a negative thing
for her, you know, and it would have never
gotten used.
So it's these creative ways to bring
activity into the equation without being
oppressive, and I think inviting people,
people along to make it social makes it fun.

That is such a great idea.
You know what that aligns with in a lot of
ways.
Yes, it's gentle and it reminds me somewhat
of like the love languages right?
If someone isn't really wanting to work out
or go on a run with you, maybe they're like
I'm not a runner and I know you're a runner
You're kind of meeting them where their
love language is, which could be.
I know they love the arts and given.

(11:50):
It's not an actual love language, but
you're not giving them what you want.
You're giving them what you know they will
enjoy, and there's an element of it it's
like I care about your health.
This is a great way to get walking.
I'll even go with you, right of it.
It's like I care about your health.
This is a great way to get walking.
I'll even go with you.
That's a beautiful, beautiful way to
support somebody.
I love that, Cheri, really beautiful yeah.

(12:10):
Thank you.

Yeah.

So that's how you would rally somebody.
I wouldn't even say it that way, because it
almost sounds manipulative to say it that
way, but that's how you would support
somebody on their journey, correct?
Yeah, just a couple ideas.
How about motivating yourself?
You know, it's really starts with self
first, doesn't it?

Totally, oh my goodness.
And I think some people think that trainers
just innately have this like wake up and
they're motivated to exercise like every
day, and it's not true.
It's very not true.
We suffer from all of the things to you
guys, and I got to tell you when it's cold
outside and when it's gray outside and when

(12:50):
I know this is my day to go for a run,
there are times when I set the timer and I
allow myself to whine, and I allow myself
to whine for maybe a full minute, maybe
even longer, and I just like like I don't
want to go and when the timer goes off,
then I put my hat on and go out the door
and go, and I know that I've like already

(13:12):
allowed myself that time to whine, so it
makes it kind of a little bit easier
knowing that I got that out of my system.
Yeah yeah and then there's days when I go
you know know what I just can't.
I'm going to get on the rowing machine
instead and I give myself the grace it's
fine, you know, like it's just cold and I
just can't, like the chill is too much.
Right now it's February and so like

(13:34):
focusing on the winter weather is like
easier because it's right here in my face,
but same applies for the summertime.
If I'm trying to get outside and it's so
hot and oppressive I'm like can I rally?

But you're good about it, Because I mean
you even called me earlier today and I knew
you were outside walking.

I can just hear it in your voice.

You're calling me.
You're checking all the technology.
I'm like are you running a marathon?
What are you doing, right?

now.
No, I was out for a run.
I was catching up on the news and on the
podcast.

I do want to go into something briefly and
we're not going to go heavy, because I
don't do that on this show, but just
because you brought it up.
In this world that we're living in right
now, it can be very difficult to stay
positive, right, no matter what side of the
fence you're really on, there's a lot of
noise.

(14:29):
So how does somebody like Cheri, who is on
the path of helping people and supporting
people and motivating people and also
bringing that trauma-informed part of it
because I too am trauma-informed, so I get
it how do you stay in a more positive
mindset when sometimes it feels like things
around you are crumbling?

Yeah, I've been thinking about that a lot
recently.
You know, sometimes I don't.

That's okay too.

Yeah, and sometimes I mean my rowing
machine's in the basement, and so I have
let out a couple of like primal screams in
my basement while on the rowing machine,
which is, you know, probably the best place
for it because I don't think any neighbors
get concerned.

(15:20):
But I think it's reallyed this time of
American history to being in a marathon,
and it's this like emotional marathon
almost, because we're having to sustain
ourselves through this like constant

(15:41):
barrage of news and emotional ups and downs,
and so, fortunately, I have trained and run
several marathons and it requires a lot of
self-care.
So drink in the water.
These are the basic things right Getting
the sleep, making sure you're getting

(16:02):
enough protein, making sure you're getting
your workout in.
The workout helps relieve stress.
It is scientifically proven.
The workout helps you relieve stress.
It's one of the best ways to help relieve
stress.
Getting hugs oh, we love hugs, we love hugs.

Hug it out, girl.

Hugs are also one of the best ways to
relieve stress.
It has to be 20 seconds or longer, that's
right.

Yeah, yeah, that's good old oxytocin.

Yeah.
So, like taking in the news personally, I'm
trying to do something about it.
I've been calling my senators, I've been
calling my congresspeople, I've been
calling my state attorney general and
letting them know, as a constituent, what
my opinion is.
And so I feel like I'm doing something and
then moving on with the day, setting it

(16:50):
aside and going back to my work or my time
with my daughter or things I need to be
done around the house.
There's other stuff in my life.
So, feeling like I'm doing something and
then stepping aside, I'm making in the
evenings I just did a post on social media
about this yesterday to read myself a
bedtime story.

Loved the post that you did about books
because I've been doing the micro reading
myself and it's, you know, as my father
used to say, it's like massaging the
neurons You're constantly igniting the mind
in some way.
You don't have to finish the full book.
That's also putting pressure on yourself.
Aim low, try some different books, right,
exactly?

Oh, actually, so sorry.
No, I'm not reading all of those books
right now.
Those are books that I have read, and when
you said micro reading, I was like so
you've heard about micro reading.
Yeah, this is I when you posted you comment.

I did.

Yes, yes, I looked it up, because I hadn't
heard of micro reading comment.
I did, yes, yes, I looked it up because I
hadn't heard of micro reading.

So it's kind of where you just 15 minutes,
you choose 15 minutes and you do one book.
Maybe you're in another book another day.
I'm actually creating a HIListically
Speaking library of all the authors that
I've had on this show.
I have a feeling Miss Cheri Paige Fogelman
will be one of them soon.
We're going to talk about that too.
But putting those books there so people can
like maybe one day you want to dive into

(18:08):
movement, maybe one day you want to read a
fiction book, maybe one day you want to
learn more about mental health or whatever
it might be for you.
Maybe it's a children's story, but it just
gives you a way to like change it up a
little bit and learn new things.
So it's like 15 minutes, but I saw those
books there.
I'm like is she reading?

all those books, what's going on?
No, those are just books that I have read
yeah, love that yeah.
And I was just kind of looking at my
bookshelf and I was thinking like, oh, you
know what?
I just want to highlight how lovely it is
to step away from the news.
Yes, because I think it's super important
For me.
I feel a lot of responsibility to keep up
with what's going on in the news and to
know what to speak out about, but I also I

(18:52):
think it's very important to step away from
it and to give my mind that, like other
action, right, it's like exercise in one
way, it's like doing cardio and then it's
like doing strength training.

Absolutely, and you know I have to do that
myself and I talk a lot about secondary
traumatic stress.
It's kind of an area that I've become an
expert talking about in the open space,
especially now that I'm in that mental
health space more trauma informed as well.
It's like we have to protect ourselves
because how can we show up for others if
we're not showing up for ourselves?
And you really do need to step away from
the noise, whether it's even turning on the

(19:20):
news, to taking in all of of your clients
information all day long, or even your
little ones or your, your partners or
whomever it might be.
We're taking in a lot of information, we're
processing it and it's stored negative if
we don't, if we're not careful, you know,
because the brain loves to go to the
negative.
It's how we're alive and safe in this world.

(19:42):
So finding different things to do is really
important.
I mean for me, you know me, I'm havening
like a bat out of hell, you're a havening
endurance athlete.
I'm a havening endurance athlete.
Yeah, I guess that is what I am, because
it's not something I just talk about, it's

(20:02):
something I do.
It's a show and tell For me.
It is my main technique that I use in my
everyday and with my clients.
But there's a reason why I really dive into
that.
It's because I know that it's helped me,
and if it's going to help me, then it's

(20:22):
easier for me to talk about it.
Sharing others, like what you do as well,
by the way, a good place to stop real quick,
just to remind people that, if you're
interested in trying a free Havening
experience, come to one of my happy hours.
I do Havening happy hours every month for
free.
It's an opportunity for you to learn about
this neuroscience-based technique.
I'm a certified trainer and also a

(20:42):
certified practitioner, and this is
neuroscience folks.
This is a way to be kind to your mind, to
self-regulate and self-soothe for self-care,
and I just recently did an episode where I
did a short-havening experience inside the
podcast, which I'd never done before.
So it's a great way to just self-regulate,
hold space for yourself and when you're in

(21:10):
the trauma-informed space, like both Cheri
and I are, we hear a lot.
We hear a lot.
We have our own big T's and little T's in
our lives.
So let's talk about that for you as someone
who is trauma-informed, because this is
becoming a buzzword.
By the way, oh, totally.
Like hyphenate that trauma-informed right.
What does that mean for you like?

what is Cheri introduction to that and how
are you trauma informed?
right personally, yeah, please after my
daughter june was born she's now eight and
a half years old we were trying to continue
to grow our family and I was ended up going
through IVF and we were going through IVF
for four years and we did get pregnant and

(21:53):
then I miscarried and had what's called a
missed miscarriage and this was right after
Roe was overturned.
Fortunately I'm in Pennsylvania, but that
meant I had to have a D&E and that's the

(22:15):
procedure to remove the products of
conception from inside you, which is really
kind of scary and upsetting.
But fortunately I live in Pennsylvania
where it is not illegal, and it is illegal
in some places in our country at this point
in time, which is really sad because it is
healthcare and I just that whole experience

(22:41):
was really upsetting and I couldn't talk
about it for a long time.
I went through EMDR.
It took a year to go through the EMDR and
it's amazing to me because this was a
trauma that was kind of infiltrating my
life in ways, I wasn't really expecting it,
but also like in an effort to grow the
family and to be a mom again.

(23:03):
I was kind of like falling short of being a
mom to June, which kind of was crappy
because I was so like burdened by this
trauma that I was, like you know, blowing
up at her and you know, like not parenting
in a way that was like helpful, and I
wasn't, I was being a difficult partner to

(23:24):
live with, and so it was for me.
That was a little not a little a pretty big
journey for me to work through.
And, and during that time is when I became
trauma informed as a personal trainer and,
really like to be honest, I was already

(23:46):
doing a lot of the things that they were
talking about in the certification and
education that I went through.
But it really helped to solidify all that
for me and to reinforce it.
And then I felt like more justified in how

(24:09):
I train and that I'm not necessarily
training somebody to.
You know, do chin-ups?
Or to pick up heavy weights and lift them
up overhead per se, but empowering them to
get up in the morning.

Sometimes that is the biggest step.

So giving people the grace that you know
and just allowing for that space for them
that that being here and doing this is okay,
and it's amazing how hand in hand the
fitness work works with the talk therapy.

Yeah Well, and that's that's so important.
So there's three.
You know there's really three different
kinds of therapy to support your wellbeing.
There's psycho pharmaceutical obviously
medications that are needed for some folks.
There's psychotherapy, which is talk
therapy, and then there's psychosensory.
I would say even EMDR would fall between
both of those, the psychosensory and the
psycho psychotherapy.

(25:11):
By the way, for folks who don't know, emdr
means eye movement, desensitization,
reprocessing, eye movement, desensitization
and reprocessing.
So it's like it is a very deep,
trauma-informed technique that really only
licensed professionals do.
There are techniques that are similar to it,

(25:31):
like the flash technique, and we have a lot
of people in our community, in the Havening
community, that actually, as licensed
therapists, find the EMDR it gets equated
very similar, but the difference is that
Havening tends to be more softer.
It's something you can really do to
yourself and self-apply, but it is a very,
very deep technique.

(25:53):
And so when you said that, I'm like, oh,
that's going deep, that's real trauma work
that you're doing when you're working
through that, and I'm glad that you had an
awareness that you needed that kind of
support.
I'm sorry that you went through what you
went through, but what's the biggest lesson
and takeaway from that experience?
Because it is a loss, it is a grief, and

(26:15):
how has Cheri grown from that experience?

Because it is a loss, it is a grief.
And how has Cheri grown from that
experience today?
Maybe just the giving myself grace.

Yeah, that's a word you use a lot, by the
way.

Yeah, it is, I've noticed.
I've said it a couple times here in this
conversation.

What does grace mean to you?

Not putting the pressure on very hard.

Not putting the pressure on very hard.

Yeah, taking the pressure off a little bit,
you know, just allowing myself to be, as
opposed to trying to be something else.

Right.

Being something bigger, being something
more.
You know?
Yeah, because, man, some days you just got
to show up.

Some days it is just about showing up Again.
That's going back to the aim low, that
could be your high.
Yes, just waking up, you know, that's a
gift in itself.
And when and I'm sure you've heard this too,
I know I have with clients, especially when
I'm doing deeper trauma work is that some
days it's just putting your feet on the

(27:11):
floor, let alone, you know, waking up in
the morning.
So it's learning how to support yourself.
It doesn't mean putting on the sneakers and
going for a run.
It might just mean getting up and just
being present and allowing another day.
Yes, you know, yes.
Yeah, how does that work for you as a mom?
Yes, you know, yes.
Yeah, how does that work for you as a mom?

(27:32):
How are you using everything you've learned
and who you are and how you continue to
develop and become more aware to make sure
that June is that kind of adult in the
making like becoming well-rounded, and
giving her the tools?

she is a unique kiddo who is actually
pretty hard on herself and she's already
had these like like existential crisis
moments where she's like I don't know what
I want to be when I grow up and we're like
you're eight, it's okay, I know adults you
don't even know what they want.

I'm still wondering exactly so.

Um, yeah, it's, it's, it's amazing, but we
do.
We do the deep breathing together and, um,
you know, as a personal trainer, I um, I'm
always interested in mental health and in
mental strength as far as athleticism goes,
I attended this lecture a couple weeks ago.

(28:38):
that was about like mental training for
your female athletes.
Right, it was specifically female athletes.
It's so wonderful the like components they
went through for that, and one of them was
just like mistakes happen.
It is expected that mistakes will happen.

(28:59):
Even the pros make mistakes, but you got to
like it's how you move through.
The mistake is key, and so I went over
these things with June.
You know like, hey, mistakes happen Even
when we're in the kitchen cooking.
I'm like mistakes happen.
Look, I dropped the spoon.
It's how we deal with it how we move
through it and that, um, there there was a
whole like breathing technique that they,

(29:20):
that they recommended where you.
It was based on box breathing, but to be
honest, it was.
It was more than that.
It was, um, breathing in and as you hold
the breath.
So box breathing is the four counts to
breathe in and then you hold the breath, so
box breathing is the four counts to breathe
in, and then you hold the breath for four,
four counts and while the breath is held,
you're coming back to your predetermined

(29:41):
like focus word, your like word that helps
you like zone in on what you want to be or
need to be or can be or this.
So for June, her word was connect, and I
know this eight-year-old came up with this
on her own.
I said, okay, wonderful.
And then when you breathe out, you're

(30:03):
breathing out and visualizing in that
second.
Those four counts how you want these next
minutes to go for yourself, and so it's not
just about athleticism and doing this in
sport, although this was the platform in
which it was presented to me, and as a
trainer.
I'm like how can I help my clients by

(30:25):
utilizing these things?
But just in life, I'm like, June, something
goes sideways.
Some kid picks on you in the hallway.
Breathe in, connect.
This is how I want these next couple
moments to go.

And it puts the control on their hands too.
You know I work a lot with children and the
social emotional learning tools are so
important for them to learn Because I think
you and I grew up in an age where go to
detention if you do something wrong.
Go to your room and think about it, and no
child is thinking about what they did.
They're thinking about how they got caught.

(31:00):
No child is thinking about how they can
process their emotions if somebody's
scolding them on having emotions.
Here we live in a day where we're seeing
the importance of a child permission to be
who they are and feel, and then giving them
tools to inspire themselves.

(31:23):
Like I'm not inspiring them, you're not.
I'm not healing them, you're not.
It's giving them tools to build resiliency,
to be that right.
They're building resiliency so that they
are more well-rounded, they know how to be
aware of what's coming up for them.
And then they have beautiful tools like the

(31:43):
breathing or taking a walk or yes, doing
havening or anything that they can put in
their little brain candy jar or their
little mental health toolbox to pull out
when they need it, and the more we offer
that.
It's really beautiful to see what can
happen when a child has control of which

(32:06):
direction they want to go and listen.

as we both know, it's not a fully developed
brain, but it is developing and developing
exactly and she's learning this emotional
intelligence and it's so exciting to to be
witness like to get a front row seat.
Yeah, in this child's life, um, she's also
like she's very involved in sport.
However, does not like to compete, and so

(32:30):
we talk about that too.
You know, it's not really necessary to
compete to be able to enjoy a sport.
She did all of swim team last year, didn't
compete in one swim meet, and I'm like you
know what?
I think you still got a lot out of that and
I'm okay with that.
She is competing in her first wrestling

(32:53):
tournament of the season tomorrow, actually
yeah and and last year she did compete in
two wrestling tournaments and this might be
the only one this year, and I'm also okay
with that she does.
We focus on what she learns from the
competition and not about her winning or
losing, but what she learns and how much

(33:14):
fun she can potentially have.
And so we just say, like, do you have fun
there with your friends and getting to
cheer them on and them cheering you on?

Yeah, that's the most important thing is
that a kid could just be a kid.
What are your feelings when you see parents
that are just really on their kid?
I mean, we see it on the field a lot.
I remember being at a game a couple years
ago with my girlfriend and we were watching
her kids play soccer and one of the dads,

(33:45):
who I believe was a coach too, I wanted to
rip them off the field because these kids
were.
They were not even I don't think they were
even six or seven years old, and it's like
how are, why are we?
Why are you doing that with a child when
they're just having fun, is it?
What are you teaching them?
You?

know.
Yeah, I almost want I wonder what their
unfulfilled experience in the sport was.

Totally was thinking the same thing.
I'm like what's he lacking?

Yeah, Well, you know, did he play soccer as
a kid and not get picked for the team?

Exactly Like is this his unresolved trauma
as well, but it's trickling down on not
only his own child but an entire team.
And that's when you can say, you know, the
parents stepping in not necessarily berate
the person that's the coach, unless
something is just out of control, but have

(34:42):
the conversation with your child after,
like, you know how to respond to this.
You know, because that's a, that's a tough
one and you see that a lot, like you know,
if they're not winning, they're losing.
Why does it have to be one or the other
right?
Why?

does it have to be one or the other.
So this is really what it's taught to
children, and this is is one of the things
that I have a problem with to be, honest
that fitness is so connected to competition
and, like people, I remind people of this
all the time.
You know, I don't run a marathon to win it.

(35:17):
I run a marathon to experience it.
It's about the training aspect of it, but
also being there in community with these
other people who have also been training,
and we're all there together, working
through this journey for lack of a better
word together.
This 26.2 mile journey and it's's like this

(35:40):
is not about competition.
I don't want to beat the person next to me,
I want to cross the finish line with them
you know, so it's, it's a.
It's something that I again come back to as
like how fitness gets these negative
connotations and, like probably half, I'm

(36:02):
going to say the population doesn't have a
competition like gene.
You know.
It's not part of their makeup to compete.
And should these people be involved in
sport?
Because, as children, you're told, if
you're not competing then you shouldn't be

(36:24):
involved in sport, and that's why I'm
applauding my daughter who's on the swim
team and didn't go to a meet.
Yeah, but still went every day to practice
and was like, enthusiastic about being at
practice.

You know and be a part of something you
know.
I think that's one of the reasons why I
love group fitness, because it's not so
much about oh, they're lifting more than I
am or oh my gosh, they're doing
modifications.
Clearly they're not where I am.
It's the energy and the vibe of being in

(36:54):
the room with other like minds that are
there for the mission of better health.

Yeah, the support.

The support, the community, and we learned
so much about that with how we met the
community.
Support was what moved me into initially
getting into health coaching, because we
had health coaches.
Oh yeah, and you know what?
Shout out to Lisa Wheeler, because she was
the first person I had that conversation
with and I said I'm really interested in

(37:18):
holistic health coaching, which was funny
because I already had gone through.
I was already working with the Institute
for Integrative Nutrition, which is where I
got my coaching certification for
integrative nutrition, but I was working
with them as an on-air doing their
education module.
So when I came back around and there were a
couple of us in the group that did it, I
was actually watching myself as I was

(37:40):
getting certified in some of the videos
which was like, wow, that's kind of amazing,
right, but it was, it really is right, it's,
it's.
It's that community aspect or
accountability, whether it is one other
person like yourself as the trainer, as the
coach, or a group of people that have maybe
their is different, right, maybe their aim

(38:01):
low is different, but their outcome is
better.
Health community support gosh, having that
is so important, don't you think?

absolutely.

That's really what I'm like up on my
soapbox every day yeah screaming from the
and there's so many good programs that do
that I I mean, I know now you're working
with uh, you'd have you have your program
within the good vibes wellness, which is a
really wonderful with shout out to JD
Roberto for starting that and that's been
thriving and growing, and so many trainers

(38:32):
that we know are in that group as well.
And I think it's it's also to keep in mind.
It's not just physical fitness, it's mental
fitness, because there is a mindset aspect
to it.
You're changing a habit, a thought around
that habit, your mood around that thought
around that habit, a behavior around that
mood, that thought, that habit, right?

So I am nodding emphatically yes, yes, yes,
right.

So there's so much that goes into it.
So, anyway, just want to give people, just
remind you that Cheri Page Fogelman is just
here talking to us about like taking those
little steps, the aim lows, like knowing
that you can reach the next step, whatever
that might be for you.
And I know one step that you're working on

(39:16):
is your book.
Yes, me as well, so I love my fellow
authors in the making.
How has that process been for you, oh man?

It's only two.
It only took me eight years to write the
book.
Yeah it started out as a collection of
notes, that these were reoccurring
conversations that I realized I was having
with clients over the years.
And I said, you know what, instead of me
just continuing to like give these one
person lectures to my clients, I'm going to
write these down and and just put this

(39:51):
collection of notes all together in like a
pamphlet or something for my clients and
I'll just give it to them, as you know,
when they first start, training with me is
like a welcome to training with Cheri
pamphlet, right.
And it never happened.
And it started to grow and and I realized
there were more questions, because at that
point I was on Daily Burn and I was
involved in the Daily Burn Facebook group,

(40:12):
which was like I don't know how many, like
three million people or something.

That's very generous.

I'm not sure it was that big, but it was
thousands it was thousands, right and
people asking questions on the daily right
and I was answering questions on the daily
like giving like professional feedback
about how to approach different training
techniques and why something would be like
what are the pros and cons of this training

(40:38):
technique as opposed to this training
technique, things to watch out for?
And I'm realizing that there are these like
these smaller questions that have like
broader um ripples right, and so I started
to kind of compile it all into this book
that I like I said it took eight years to
write and then I went through the whole ivf

(40:59):
thing, which put the the book on the back
burner, because I don't know if you've
talked to anybody who's been through IVF or
maybe you've been through IVF.
It is a full-time job that is in addition
to the rest of your life, which maybe you
already have a full-time job which is the

(41:22):
coordination of the appointments and the
medications and the acupuncture and the
research that it requires.
Because you know these are recommendations,
but you make the decision ultimately on how
you want to go through this, and so the
book took a back seat, a back burner, for
the whole period of time and um, and it's
just been just recently that I've been able
to to pull it out and dust it off, you know,

(41:44):
and it took me a year to put the proposal
together.
And now my process goals are to weekly
submit to one agent a week.

Good.

Which is low.
I'm aiming low, but I'm doing it and I'm
doing more than I was.
So that is on top of all the other things
in my life that I'm aiming low, but I'm
doing it and I'm doing more than I was.
So that is on top of all the other things
in my life that I'm juggling.

Well, you just declared it.
So, yeah, no, I've been doing it, I love it,
and you know what You're motivating me,
because I've had my proposal written since
I want to say August, because that's when I
got the Hay House Honorable Mention for it
and that was really like a reminder to
myself there's something good here to

(42:25):
publish right.
But it's the fear that steps in once in a
while, where you're like, oh, fear, who am
I?

Why would anybody want to read my stuff?
Who do I think I?

am, even if people have said they love your
stuff.
It's something about protecting ourselves
from actually going forward with it.
But I'm with you, sister, I'm going forward
with it.
I'm doing the same thing.
Yeah, I'll see you at the book signings.
We'll have a joint book signing oh, that's
a good idea.

Yes that is a great idea.
That means we both have to get published
near.

Ron, sometime, whatever We'll make it
happen, I will say that I do have an
accountability partner now Good.

One of my friends who is working on growing
her business.
She's not even working on a book, but she
said, look, I'm working on this and you're
working on that.
And let's like state our goals to each
other and then talk to each other every two
weeks about what our goals are and if we've
achieved them and, if not, what stood in
our way and how can we brainstorm ways to
work past them.

And I was like, yes, yeah, sometimes you
just need somebody else to say how you
doing, and not necessarily have you
finished that, but not a nag how you doing.

Yeah, just to help and support you and also
to like okay, you're hitting a roadblock,
okay, let's, let's discuss, because maybe
I've got some insight on it that you
haven't thought about.
Maybe I've worked through things in a way
that can help you.

Yeah, love that Accountability is so
important.
I mean, you're a coach and a trainer and
you know what the best coaches have coaches.

Yes.

Right, yes, yeah, love that.
So we had a question when I was on the Zoom
this morning working out with our peeps
what are some book suggestions that Cheri
has?
And we saw your layout of some of the books
you read.
But do you have anything you're reading
right now that you are like, oh Well, I'm
reading James right now, and that was one
of the books in this selection.

(44:14):
Yeah, yeah.

I love it.
I actually have my computer stacked up on a
stack of books.

No, I love it, I actually have my computer
stacked up on a stack of books, no judgment
there, not the same books.

I'm just seeing what else you got Burnout
Burnout it's a really good book.
Do you know this?

book.
No, yeah, I know the feeling Exactly here.
I'll just pull it out, I'll do a little
plug for burnout.
We can put it up.
Oh, burnout, burnout, burnout, burnout,
burnout.

The secret to unlocking the stress cycle.
Okay, now I can't read who the author is,
but we'll author it.
It's sisters, emily and amelia.

Nag nagosi all right, we're gonna put that
in the um, we'll put james and we'll put
burnout in the notes of this podcast,
because people love to have the books, and
then maybe we'll even add it to the library
HIListically Speaking Library and who knows,
I'm always looking for new guests that
share powerful ways to be kind to your mind.

(45:12):
That's good, and do you find that you have
a lot of time living where you live now,
because you're not in New York anymore?
I don't want to say where you are.
That's up to you to share what that is.

I know you're in PA To read, to do more
things, not live in the New York life
anymore.
No, I have less Because I used to read on
the subway and I lived in Brooklyn so it
was like it depended on the day, but maybe
like a 30 minute commute to and from work,
depending on where I was rehearsing a show.
Maybe I had an hour and 15 minute commute
home every night.

(45:46):
That I don't have that time on the train to
read anymore and I'm needed as a mom, so I
feel like I have less time.
To be honest, yeah the micro reading is key.

Yeah, 15 minutes.
You know I'll be honest.
You know when I've been doing it the most,
because I don't want to take my phone with
me anymore, because I'm so guilty of doing
this and it's awful.
I do it when I'm taking a bath, like I will
take a bath, I take the book with me.
I leave the phone because sometimes you're
like scrolling anywhere, like you will
scroll anywhere.

(46:18):
It's not good to doom scroll.

Oh see, I actually work from bath sometimes
I work from bath.

They make the desks that you can create.
I just hold my phone.

I've been guilty of it.

Though I send the emails to people, I'm
like they don't know I'm working from bath,
right, they know now, like I'm doing a Zoom
meeting, with the Zoom camera off, why does
it sound like there's ripples and waves in
the background?
No, but sometimes, when I'm doing that and
I'm settling down at night cause that is
part of my self care is that I will, you
know, draw a nice bubble bath and have my

(46:49):
book and I and that also lets me know 15
minutes, so I'm not like a prune later, but
um it because it's so.
It really is changing a habit.
Not doom scrolling, not looking at your
phone, the last thing before you go to bed,
you know, take time to think about the
positive things that you want to put in
your subconscious mind, because it's
listening, it hears everything you know

(47:10):
100% and it stores it.
So find something that you can actually
work on, you know.
So that's that's.

That's what I'm reading is right before bed.
Yeah, definitely work on, you know.
So that's that's one thing.
That's what I'm reading, is right before
bed yeah, definitely book book light, a
little clip that goes on my book and I lay
in bed and tell myself a bedtime step away
from tech.

Yeah, tell yourself a bedtime story.
When's the last time we have mothered
ourselves to share a good bedtime story?

I love that I'm a big believer in treating
yourself like you are a five-year-old oh
yeah and really like taking command of your
day and saying, um, have you uh been
outside to play yet today?
Have you uh taken a bath today?
Have you brushed teeth?
Have you had your vegetables?

(47:56):
Have you had your water?
These are things, things that, like you
know not not to say that I talked to my
daughter that way but, like as I parent her,
I'm thinking through like, okay, what has
she done today, and how do we navigate
through the day to make sure that she's
living the healthiest, best life possible,
you know, and how often do we do that for
ourselves?

Oh, it's so true.
I have a picture of myself as like five
years old on my mirror in front of me and I
look at her every once in a while.
When stuff comes up for me, I'm like, is
this Hilary at the age I am now, or is this
Hillie that is needing the support right
now?
And and then you step back into it and
sometimes you have a good cry.

(48:41):
I remember, like going through the trauma,
informed work that I did when I was doing
my certification, which was like a year,
six months.
I can't remember how long the training was,
but, man, I opened up learning some things
about myself in that time too.
It was deep work, totally.

Giving ourselves grace, yes, grace oh good.

That's a really good segue into what we're
about to do, sister.
So I have my game that I do.
Every guest gets to be on the Brain Candy
rapid fire game.
Basically, what I have been doing is
writing words down that you've said.
I imagine you know one of them could have
come up that you've said during this
conversation and what I want you to do is

(49:20):
come back with just one word.
What comes to mind when I say that word
back to you?
Just one word rapid fire, word association.
You got it Okay.
You ready to rock and roll?
Yes, okay.
Health, wellbeing, immunity, life Fitness,
success, miscarriage, immunity, life
fitness, success, miscarriage perseverance.

(49:48):
Author aspiration okay, I know it's
hyphenated, so I'm making it one word
trauma, informed grace.

Yeah, grace is that my word?

is that my word?
Okay, um perseverance, marathon experience.
I want to throw this out because you say it
and I really like it, but it's two words
aim low yeah, I knew you were gonna say
just let's hyphenate it.
Success, success.
I love that.

(50:20):
And let's see one more word Exercise Flow.
Stay in the flow.
I like that.

Yeah.

We'll end with that.
That's good.
Those are good words.
This was great.

This was so wonderful.

Oh my gosh Thank you so much, I so miss you.
I want to come out to where you are and
listen folks.
I haven't shared this yet.
I think I've probably shared this elsewhere,
probably in a, like a story.
When I when it happened but when I went out
to the location where Cheri lives, I was
there shooting when I was the Formica DIY

(50:57):
girl for a couple of years, shooting all
the content for them I said, hey, girl, I'm
coming to Lancaster and we'll work on it.
I'm working on it and you said, come for
dinner and it was so great because you made
me a beautiful piece of salmon and we hung
out and we played with the cat Stanley.

Yes, stanley has since parted ways, so has
Eliza.

I remember they're pouncing together in
kitty heaven over the rainbow bridge.
So we love our babies right.
But just spending time with you and it was
just so great and you're so warm and
welcoming.
And anyone that knows you, anyone that
watches you, anyone that takes part in just
being in your space, knows just how genuine
and authentic you are and, look, that's the

(51:43):
kind of vibe that we want to be around.
Those are the kind of people we want to
bring into our space.
That's definitely the HIListically Speaking
vibe.
So thanks for saying yes and being here.

Totally Thanks for inviting me.
This has been such a wonderful treat.
I miss you too.
And this is such a nice excuse to get to
like spend an hour or whatever chatting
with you Well we'll have to make it an
in-person in Lancaster.

I'm going to get torn apart by the
community because I don't know what I'm
saying.
Am I even saying a word?

I think there's like I think I'm missing a
vowel somewhere.

It's like L apostrophe C-A.
Now you're making me question how to say it
lancaster, lancaster there you go lancaster
yeah, I like the um central market there,
which is really fun and there's a really
cute coffee shop.

I remember going to there there's it's a
cute town absolutely, and it's got like a
nice, like hipster community and some, yeah,
some really good like-of-the-box thinking
art-wise and culture-wise.

And I recall the biggest traffic jam I got
into was being behind a horse and buggy.

Oh, shut up.

No, that's true, I was sitting there.
I'm like, is he turning?
What's happening?
Do I go around the horse and he had it
pimped out.
The bottom of his carriage was pimped out.
Yeah, the buggy had lights on the bottom.
I'm like what?
Who Are you rumspringing?
Because definitely rumspringing.

(53:08):
It was pretty awesome.
That's amazing.
It was pretty awesome.
That is not typical, no, but you know what
you do.
You right, right, be who you are Totally Be
who you are.
All right, my love.
Well, we are going to share everything
about Cheri in the podcast notes of this
episode.

Except the coordinates of my house, except
the coordinates of your house.

That's part two, Listen.
I was trying to be like under the radar
about it, but you're like everybody knows,
it's fine, it's okay.

Yeah, it's all good.

Anyway, so we're going to share everything
but the coordinates in the podcast notes of
the show.
It's been such a joy having you, absolutely
adore you, and I would say that we're gonna
we're gonna make this happen more often, so
yay, same, Hilary, same.

Thank you, thank you.

If you're not already connected to Cheri,
this is the chance to raise the vibe, bring
good people into your life, because you
know that's what HIListically Speaking is
all about.
So check out the links I shared with you in
the notes of this episode, including those
books that Cheri mentioned which sound very
interesting.
So those will also be in the podcast notes.
Links to those books.

(54:18):
Look, you can add them to a little micro
reading.
If you don't do that already, this is a
really great opportunity to try it.
I love it 15 minutes a day and we're going
to add those kind of books into the
HIListically Speaking library.
So be on the lookout for that, because that
is dropping soon.
And wherever you're tuning into
HIListically Speaking, be sure that you're
hitting that subscribe button.

(54:38):
Be sure that you're downloading these
episodes so that you can check back and
listen to conversations like this whenever
you need a little extra support and share
your thoughts in a review or comment
sections.
I'm listening and learning from everything
you share and I love hearing what you have
to say.
Want to join me on my monthly Havening
Happy H hours?
We talked a little bit about that during

(54:59):
the episode as well.
These are my gift to you every month online.
I do a guided Havening experience.
I've been doing this for about five years
now to give you a chance to be kind to your
mind.
Join others who want to find value in
self-soothing and self-regulating for
self-care.
The link to register is in the notes of
this podcast episode.

(55:20):
You can also find more information out
about if you're interested in bringing
Havening into your personal life or even
your profession.
I do training, certifications and
mentorship.
All of that is available to you and you'll
find it in the notes of this podcast.
HIListically Speaking is edited by Two
Market Media with music by Lipbone Redding
and, of course, supported by you.
So thank you so much for joining me every

(55:41):
week time and time again and just letting
me know that you support this podcast and I
in turn, support you.
I'm grateful for you every day.
Finally, I invite you to think about each
step that you're taking.
Each step is a choice moving you into the
direction that you want to go, and choice
is very powerful.

(56:02):
So remember, like what Cheri said, aim low,
aim low and give yourself grace, because
every step is the next step towards that
goal.
You're doing great and remember I love you,
I believe in you and I'm sending hugs your
way.
Be well.

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Ep181 - Aim Low: Fitness for Beginners with Cheri Paige Fogleman

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep181 - Aim Low: Fitness for Beginners with Cheri Paige Fogleman