#139 Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissism is defined as a psychological disorder characterized by a persistent pattern of grandiosity, arrogance and entitlement. Guest Dana Stuedemann warns us that these characteristics are more than mildly off-putting: they can cause immense suffering. 
 
Having experienced abuse in childhood, Dana found herself ill equipped to discern what a healthy romantic relationship should look like.  When she met her ex-husband, he promised her the love she had always so desperately desired. Though he said and did all the right things to attract Dana and gain her trust, he concealed his narcissistic tendencies. She found herself, again, in a marriage much like the situation of her childhood; where she was belittled, dismissed, and manipulated.

Dana emphasizes that not all narcissists are abusive, but when they are, the abuse is expansive: financial, physical, verbal, psychological and sexual. These tactics are evoked by the narcissist to avoid accountability at all costs, control their victim, and to control the narrative surrounding their public image. Because narcissists lack empathy, they casually gaslight their victim into questioning their very reality.  Narcissistic abuse is particularly insidious because these individuals are preoccupied with curating an aspirational public image. Victims then struggle to contend with the reality of the abuse they suffer at the hands of someone so highly regarded, let alone coming forward with allegations of the abuse! It may be difficult for those on the outside to accept that this person who presents themselves as charming and helpful could be capable of such wickedness. 
 
If you or a loved one are experiencing narcissistic abuse, seek help and refuge immediately. God has not intended for you to suffer at the hands of those that do not feel remorse.  Contrary to what the narcissist wants you to believe, you do not deserve any of the evil they commit against you. God desires fulfilling, healthy, and flourishing relationships to fill your cup and remind you of your divine worth. 

Purchase Dana's book "Gasping For Air: The Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse" here. 


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