I cannot believe it has been a year since the podcast launched. So much has happened over the year, and I am very thankful to have you here with me! Season 3 starts today, and in this season we are talking about fear. Fear can manifest in many forms, and this season we will explore some of those forms. In this episode you will meet Phyllis Ginsberg, M.A., MFT. Phyllis is the author of Brain Makeover - A Weekly Guide to a Happier, Healthier, and more Abundant Life, and Tired and Hungry Not More.
Phyllis and I talk about why we fear, and how we disguise fear. We even touch on how we teach fear, or pass it to others. We all have some type of fear, and I think there are different ways we can deal with or manage fear; however, there are times we just need to continue on in life while still feeling fear. Phyllis says this about fear, "Fear is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. When I look back at the 30 plus years that I have been working with individuals of all walks of life as a therapist, as a person who has expertise in high conflict, divorce, child abuse, and domestic violence the common factor is these people have been in fear. So it got me started thinking about what is it in our brain that actually creates that fear response and how come we get so stuck in fear to where it can be debilitating or that's all we're focused on is that one problem or a whole array of problems rather than being able to shift to something else."
We talk about how fear comes in many layers or forms, such as self-sabotage, negative self-talk, embarrassment, dread, and even laziness and procrastination. Phyllis believes most of us grew up in households where you didn't talk about anything that really mattered; or we grew up in a household where there was a lot of conflict. Fear of conflict is huge, and most people will avoid it at all costs. Phyllis points out that we first need to start having conversations like this podcast episode to discuss fear and how it impacts our lives. That we first need to peel back those layers to get to the bottom of why we are feeling the fear so then we can work on those individual reasons. Phyllis has a simple but impactful method to reason out just how much fear we have in our daily life and how much it controls our decisions. She starts off by asking, "What percentage of decisions do you think you make out of fear". She then goes on to uncover some of the layers by asking about the decisions made around fears for loyalty to friends and family, fear related to fitting in or belonging, fear of being physically or emotionally hurt, and fear related to staying within your comfort zone. When Phyllis asked me these questions my original response had to be updated based on her more specific questions. My guess is yours would as well.
Understanding the layers or variations of fear can allow us to understand why we make some of the decisions we do. This can help us look deeper in ourselves to try and determine the root of that fear, and stepping in the right direction to work through the fear. To do this we will have to start working to make a change to our thoughts. Phyllis's motto for living life with fear is, ". If you want something different, you have to do something different on purpose."
Very special thanks to Jake for my new podcast music!
GUEST INFORMATION: Phyllis Ginsberg
facebook.com/phyllis.ginsberg/ and facebook.com/groups/463851777439525
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