January 13, 2025 • 54 mins
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Can you imagine a life where PMDD symptoms don't dictate your every move? I once thought that was impossible until I found four transformative strategies that led me from constant suffering to newfound joy and peace. Join me as I challenge the common misconception that being single is the cure-all for PMDD, sharing personal experiences and offering practical advice to help you navigate this journey with hope and determination.
Mentorship can be a game-changer, and I'll tell you how investing in expert guidance revolutionized my dating life and podcast quality. When dealing with PMDD, having the right tools and understanding can make all the difference in relationships. Discover the power of personalized coaching and how it can help you overcome the unique challenges of PMDD and foster healthier connections.
Embrace the liberating practices of daily walking and raving, and learn how these activities have helped me manage PMDD symptoms effectively. From the simplicity of a walk in nature to the exuberance of raving's inclusive community, these daily routines not only boost mood and reduce stress but also improve relationship dynamics. Tune in to uncover the "secret sauce" for managing PMDD symptoms and how you, too, can unlock a path to a more fulfilling life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
So today I wanted to talk to you about four things
that have dramatically helped myPMDD symptoms.
So much to the fact that I'vegotten so many DMs on TikTok and
Instagram asking me do I stillexperience PMDD symptoms, am I
(00:22):
still in the realm of PMDD?
All of these things because itlooks like I'm out of the game.
It looks like I'm not havingPMDD.
It looks like I'm just in thisaltered universe because I went
from really really suffering toreally really looking like I'm
experiencing a lot of joy and alot of peace and a lot of
(00:42):
happiness.
And I know that can be verytriggering for individuals that
are suffering in PMDD.
So, first and foremost, I getthat.
I understand that.
I remember being in the depthsof my suffering with PMDD and
feeling like, oh great, thisperson has healed their PMDD,
like they're over it.
And then I'm just left in thedumps Like what am I doing wrong
?
And all of these things.
(01:04):
And I always try to be veryopen with you about what I'm
doing on my journey, because Inever want you to feel like
you're alone in the sufferingwith PMDD and I never want you
to feel like anything that I'mdoing is not something that you
can do.
So I'm going to give you mysecret not so secret If you
follow me on Instagram.
Every single day I vlog myjourney of what I've been doing
(01:27):
for the last, I would say, twomonths two to three months in
PMDD.
That has dramatically decreasedmy PMDD symptoms, so much that
I've had to, like check mycalendar just to see if I'm in
PMDD, just to see what phase ofmy cycle that I'm on, whereas
before I used to know, based offof how I was feeling, exactly
(01:48):
where I was and I'd be like, oh,it's going to be like this, or
oh, I'm going to have anxiety,oh, I'm going to have depression
, oh, I'm going to havesensitivity to noise, oh, I'm
going to be like, not functionalin these certain areas.
But I want to give you the fourthings that I have been doing
that I've stayed consistent with.
Obviously, if you have PMDD, ifyou have premenstrual dysphoric
disorder, you're always in therealm of trying something new.
(02:10):
You're always in the realm ofexperimenting, you're always
trying to wave the magic wandand get rid of PMDD.
So you're very open to all ofthe things that other people
have said works for PMDD andyou're kind of like what worked
for you.
Let me try that and see if thatworks for me.
And I get it, because you getso deep in the depths of
suffering that you're trying towiden your level of tools that
(02:33):
you have for PMDD, obviously,which is why you're here You're
suffering in your PMDDrelationship or you're wanting
more tools for your PMDDrelationship and you're trying
to get access to that.
So I get that aspect and I'mjust going to tell you the four
things that I've been doingbecause I know that, as I've
(02:53):
like been on this journey ofcoming home to myself really
after a year ago almost a year,not a year and a half, almost a
year and a half since thebreakup it looks like right, it
looks like from the outside that, oh my gosh, once Dr Rose
became single, she's so muchmore happier.
Maybe I should be single, right,and I know this because I have
(03:15):
private clients that have saidthis to my face.
And I literally have in-personclients, because when I travel,
I let my clients know that I'mtraveling and so I'll meet with
some of them in person because Itravel on a monthly basis.
But they've literally said Iknow it's because you're single.
I know your PMDD symptoms areless because you're single, and
I just want to debunk the myth.
(03:37):
And it's not because I'm single, it's because of the things
that I've added that I'm goingto talk to you about today.
But I can get how it can seemlike being single is the cure
for PMDD, which is somethingthat I've literally said.
Being single is not the cure forPMDD.
Just because you don't have apartner doesn't mean that you
don't have premenstrualdysphoric disorder symptoms.
(03:58):
I never want you to feel likethat.
I never want you to think thatthat's the solution, because
it's not, and anyone that'strying to portray that it is.
Even if they say that, oh, mysymptoms are less because I'm
single, and now that I'm single,my symptoms are better, it's
not a cure for PMDD and there'sa counter to that.
(04:23):
There's something that they'remissing.
Also, like I know, for me andI'll just start off with this
before I even go into everythingthat I've been doing being
single has not been easy,because I've been missing
certain things that I had when Iwas in the relationship, and I
will go over that first, becauseit's not the easy way out, like
(04:43):
pulling the plug on yourrelationship a lot of times when
you're in your luteal phasewhen you're in PMDD.
That's what your PMDD brainwants you to think that if you
just become single, your PMDDsymptoms are going to go away.
It's going to be so much betterif you could just be cooped up
alone in your house.
You don't have to worry aboutanyone else.
You don't have to worry aboutwhat they're thinking, what
(05:08):
they're saying, what they'redoing.
You can just manage yoursymptoms on your own.
I know that's what your PMDDbrain is telling you.
Because guess what, if we allhave PMDD, we all have
premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
We all have the same brainthat's telling us the same
things.
Have you ever even askedyourself that?
Is there a reason why,cognitively, everyone who has
PMDD is like thinking the samething?
It's because it's the sameprogramming, it's the same
(05:29):
pattern.
We are all across the world.
I checked my stats for 2024.
I have clients in over 70countries, 70 different
countries and you're all feelingand thinking the same things
when you go into your lutealphase.
There's no way that that's acoincidence.
There's no way that we'remagically all thinking the same
(05:53):
thing.
It's because that's what yourPMDD brain is trying to tell you
.
So I want to just let you knowthat if you're going through
premenstrual dysphoric disorderand you're feeling like you want
to break up with your partnerevery single month, just
recognize that that's going tobe a symptom.
I know it's not labeled as like, oh, anxiety, depression,
breaking up with my partner, butthe sooner you realize that,
the better off you're going tobe and the less alone that
(06:15):
you're going to feel.
Because I know a lot of youthat have come to me very early
on, specifically from TikTok,because I've just activated my
account for TikTok this year andI love that community because
you're so responsive and you'reso communicative and everything.
You feel like you're alone andI get comments like this every
single day off of my videos onTikTok and it's like I thought I
(06:37):
was the only one.
I thought I was alone.
You're not alone.
There's a whole community of usand I'm creating something for
us to really connect.
That's really going to help youfeel less alone.
Because I remember thinking thatthere was something wrong with
me because I was always wantingto break up with my partner,
because I was comparing myselfto individuals that did not have
premenstrual dysphoric disorderand I'm like there's something
(06:59):
wrong with me because everybodycan seem to, even if they have
issues.
They can figure out their PMDDrelationship, but for some
reason, I can't.
So the first thing I want tolet you know is that you're not
alone.
And the next thing I want youto know is that, as I've gone on
this journey for the pastcouple of months, it's not that
(07:19):
I'm being single and I'm notexperiencing my same PMDD
symptoms.
I am experiencing symptoms.
I would say that my focus on mysymptoms has shifted a lot
because when I went in thisjourney, on my own personal
journey of self-worth, ofself-love which is something
that I had to do because, asI've said before, my self-worth,
(07:41):
my self-love and that wholejourney that can seem very taboo
for people it's like, oh, loveyourself, my self-worth and what
I was accepting was in thegarbage.
It was in the garbage, it wasin the trash.
I was literally acceptingbreadcrumbs, I was accepting
little things and it wasimpacting my PMDD when I got
into my luteal phase.
(08:01):
It caused me to overthink a lotof things, it caused me to
question myself, it caused me toquestion everything and you
would think, coming off thislast year, of like, oh, you got
your doctorate or oh, you didthis, I felt the lowest that
I've ever felt being in PMDDthis last year, because I went
into the dating realm and Iquestioned everything.
(08:23):
I question what I deserved.
I question if I should settlefor the breadcrumbing.
I question if I would settlefor the ghosting, because you
have to think individuals whoare not having PMDD are being
ghosted, individuals who are nothaving PMDD are being
gaslighted, they're beingbreadcrumbed.
So I'm like, oh my gosh, I feltlike I was lower than the low
(08:44):
when it came to the dating pool,which is why I invested in
getting help, which I 100% wouldrecommend in your PMDD
relationship, not just becauseI'm a PMDD relationship
psychotraumatologist and Iprovide those services for you,
but because it's something thatI actually had to do for myself.
And I had a conversationearlier today with my dating
(09:08):
mentor thanking him for I mean,it's been two months and the
things that I've shifted andchanged in my journey of PMDD
dating or dating with PMDD,however you want to word it it
has been monumental and I wouldhave never gotten to the level
that I've gotten, as far as thesatisfaction, as far as the joy,
as far as the peace, had I notinvested in meeting with him.
(09:32):
There's no way that I wouldhave figured it out on my own.
Because when you recognize thatyou're not an expert in
something, it's not like an egothing where it's like, oh, I'm
not an expert so I don't knowwhat to do, go find someone.
Someone is an expert in thething that you wanna improve
your life on.
That's what I realized when Iwanted to get better at dating.
I hired a dating mentor and Ipaid for it because I knew that
(09:55):
it was gonna be the quickest wayto get me from point A to point
B.
I know that you can go onGoogle University, youtube
University and kind of try tofigure things out, but the
quickest way to do it is with amentor.
And that's what I learnedfirsthand is that if someone
knows something about somethingthat I don't know, the quickest
(10:16):
way for me to have the leastsuffering in my PMDD and learn
the tools is to hire them.
And I hire I mean I do this formy podcast.
I have a whole podcast team atthis point, podcast producing
team that I hired because I'mnot a techie person, like I'm
not going to sit here and dolike a DIY and pretend like I
(10:36):
know what's going on.
I don't know what's going on.
That's not my level ofexpertise.
So I would say, if you'retrying to figure it out on your
own, you're wasting your time,which is what I did.
I did for years of like, oh,I'm going to try to do it myself
.
But everybody has their owntalents and skills and it's not
meaning that you're lessvaluable because you hire
(10:58):
someone.
It's also it's like you worksmarter, not harder.
So when I was first starting thepodcast back in 2021, I can't
even believe it's been like fouryears, four and some change I
didn't know about all of thesethings.
And the first two years and youcan go back if you're really
bored, you can go back andlisten to what the episodes
sounded like, because I didn'tknow what to do with the podcast
(11:21):
.
I just knew that I wanted to doa podcast and I just went and
tried to DIY, do it on my own.
And then, when I started toinvest in, okay, I need to get
better equipment or okay, I needto get someone to clip my
things.
It's a thing when you decide toimprove a level of your life,
you have to invest, and I knowwhat it feels like to feel like
(11:43):
you want to just get therewithout investing.
You don't want to pay any money.
You just want to see if youcould do it yourself.
I've been there.
I've wasted hours and hours ofmy time because I've not
produced anything.
I've wasted time trying to workon things.
So this is what I mean for yourPMDD relationship.
Maybe you've tried to haveconversations with your partner
(12:04):
again and again and again andthey're not getting it.
They're getting annoyed.
The same way that I got annoyedwith trying to set up my
podcast studio without knowingabout podcast things is the same
way your partner can getannoyed with you trying to tell
them how to be a supportive PMDDpartner when you don't have the
tools to do that.
You're just like, you just needto do it.
(12:25):
It's like the Nike thing.
It's like, just do it.
It's like what does that look?
Like chicken nugget.
I don't know.
I hear what you're saying, butI don't hear what you're saying.
I don't know what I'm supposedto do with that information.
And so when I invested in mydating mentor, it shifted my
life very quickly.
I told him that my dating lifechanged within two weeks of
(12:47):
implementing the tools that hewas given from when I hired him.
In two weeks time, my completeexperience changed, and it
wouldn't have had I not reachedout to him, and I feel like a
lot of times, the ego is there.
The ego is like, oh, you shouldbe able to do this on your own,
or, oh, it's not that hard.
Yeah, it doesn't have to bethat hard in order for you to
(13:08):
not be able to do it.
I'm not expecting it to be thathard, but why waste your time
and energy that you could bespending on your family, that
you could be spending on yourloved ones, versus just hiring
someone who has gone through thejourney?
Everybody that I have hired onmy team has gone through the
struggle and figured it out.
They're telling me what theyhave learned on their journey
(13:30):
and I am investing in them.
I am paying them for what it isthat they've learned on the
journey.
It's the same thing with you Ifyou're listening to this
podcast and I'm telling youabout PMDD relationships.
I didn't learn this from a book.
I honestly could say that Ididn't learn this from a book.
I learned this from years ofcounseling and coaching PMDD
partners and PMDD sufferers inrelationships.
(13:53):
This is not something that Icould say, oh, I went to
so-and-so university and Ilearned it.
No, I learned it fromspecifically talking to the
individuals who are sufferingwith PMDD and their partners,
and I've done that, and I'vedone that for years.
And why would I expect you tohave the same level of knowledge
, that I have the same level ofexperience with people that have
come on hundreds of hours ofprivate sessions and talk to me
(14:16):
about what they're going through?
That's where the tools arecoming from, that's where the
knowledge is coming from, andI'm here to provide those tools
to you on the podcast for free99.
I provide them for free everysingle week.
But if you know that this issomething that you need to
customize, you're like Iresonate with you because the
things that you're saying areactually what I'm going through,
but I'm going through somethingreally specific.
(14:38):
I'm going through this and myPMDD relationship this is where
the private clients come in, sothat's the next level.
So, and my PMDD relationshipthis is where the private
clients come in, so that's thenext level.
So if you listen to the podcastand you feel like it's 2025,
I've listened to the podcast.
You resonated with me.
That's how I hired everyone thatI have in my arsenal of tools,
because right now, I'm on aself-worth, self-love journey,
(14:59):
because that's what I feel likewent in the garbage during this
last relationship, and so I'veinvested in rebuilding myself,
really coming home to myself,and I've seen the results
immediately, and so it made mefeel really good about my
investment.
I told you I enrolled in thisprogram.
It was like $3,000.
(15:19):
And it was like to justbasically have you come home to
yourself, recognize yourself-worth all of these things
and that's something that I hadto do.
That was something, personally,that I was like you know what,
Wherever I go forward in myjourney of dating and in a
relationship, and especially ina PMDD relationship, I need to
work on this hole, this gap, andI could go on YouTube
(15:44):
University and go on Reddit andgo on these Facebook groups and
I could do that, and it wouldtake me a lot of time, which is
not something that I just wantedto invest in, I will say,
because it's like a catch ormiss.
When you're going on theseFacebook groups and you're going
on Reddit and you're going onthese things, you're having to
(16:05):
customize it, which is what I dofor my private clients.
I customize every tool that Ialready have, that I've already
implemented.
I customize it to what'sspecifically going on in their
PMDD relationship and that's whyit's so effective, because I'm
getting to know what's going onin their life and I'm
customizing my tools to what'sgoing on in their life and
(16:25):
that's why they get quickerresults.
So that's why getting privatesessions with me is a lot
quicker than just listening tothe podcast.
Listen to the podcast is do itevery single week, twice a week.
I remember when I first startedmy journey I only did it once a
week and one of my privateclients was like once a week is
not enough.
And I immediately listened tothat and I started giving two
(16:46):
episodes a week to be able togive more value.
But if you want that customizedadvice, the link is in the show
notes and that literally getsyou to your destination quicker.
Can you get there by listeningfor hours and hours and hours on
the podcast?
Yes, and absolutely keep comingback every single week.
But when you need a change, whenyou want to change, you
(17:09):
literally will invest for achange.
People only really invest inthemselves in the place of
suffering, which I have learnedwhen they're suffering in their
PMDD relationship.
That's when they're willing toget help, point blank, period.
It happens For me because whenI was suffering with PMDD dating
, dating with PMDD I immediatelyinvested to get help Point
blank period.
It happens For me because whenI was suffering with PMDD dating
, dating with PMDD I immediatelyinvested to get help.
I was like I don't have timefor this.
(17:29):
I know that I want to date.
I know that I want to connectto other people, but I don't
know what to do.
And sometimes you just want toknow what to do, which is why I
created the program.
My partner has PMDD.
Now what For the partners thatjust want to know what to do?
That's literally what thatprogram is.
Dr Rose, I'm all over the place.
I want to be a more supportivePMDD partner.
(17:50):
Or, dr Rose, my partner's notsupportive.
I really want them to besupportive and I'm tired of
sending them articles andthey're not really getting what
I'm saying.
This is why I created thecourse.
You don't have to keep doingall of that work.
I'm packaging it up and sendingit to you, so the link for that
is in the show notes, is stillon sale for the month of January
, and I just want to give youthe bottom line of what has
(18:14):
worked for PMDD partners andPMDD sufferers.
I'm not telling you somethingthat has worked for the masses.
I specialize as Dr Rose yourPMDD relationships,
psychotraumatologist only onPMDD relationships, and I will
say this once and I'll say itagain there's so many realms of
PMDD that I could say like, oh,I'm an expert.
I'm not and I don't want to be.
(18:35):
I'm an expert in PMDDrelationships and that's it.
And so if that's something thatyou're feeling like, okay, this
is something that I need helpwith, then be willing to invest,
because if you're strugglingwith the same thing again and
again and again, it's not goingto change, it's not going to be
different.
I've been there where everysingle month was different.
I felt like I was in GroundhogDay.
(18:55):
Every month we were arguing,every month we were fighting.
There was nothing that I feltlike I could do without it.
I just knew what it was goingto be, and that created a lot of
anxiety for me and PMDD.
And now, with these fournon-negotiables that I put into
my routine that havedramatically helped my PMDD
(19:15):
symptoms, I know that my monthsare not going to suck, whereas
before, my months literallysucked, regardless of what you
thought on the outside, I wouldhave months that literally
sucked and I was like, okay,what are the things that I can
do?
So I will tell you the fourthings right now, because they
have dramatically shifted megoing into my luteal phase.
(19:39):
I started PMDD yesterday.
No, no, no, today is day one ofPMDD.
I started today yesterday.
No, no, no, today is day one ofPMDD.
I started today.
And what I want to preface andsay is I still experience PMDD
symptoms.
I'm not saying these are thefour things that I did to take
my PMDD symptoms away.
So before you click off and belike, oh, forget that, no, I'm
(20:00):
saying that these are fourthings that have dramatically
shifted how I'm suffering inPMDD.
It's made my suffering less.
Like I don't suffer in PMDD.
I experienced PMDD but I don'tsuffer in it, like it doesn't
suck as much as it sucked before.
And so the first thing is thedaily walks.
When I went over the holidayschedule, like you know, over
(20:23):
like December, it was likereally crazy.
I was, you know, had my normalPMDD morning routine and you can
hear about that all on theprevious episodes.
But I I wanted to take a breakfrom that.
I really wanted to pull back onthat because I was going to be
super busy and I felt like itwas going to be really stressful
for me to still do the full ongo to the gym, even though the
(20:47):
gym is literally in my complex.
I wanted to give my body abreak, I wanted to get my mind a
break because I wasn'tscheduling a lot of clients on a
routine basis as far as like,oh, I need to be up at a certain
time, like I wanted to give mybody and mind a break for at
least two weeks so to just feelwhat it felt like to not be in
that hyperactive like PMDD, youknow, sufferer mode.
(21:11):
And so I said but you know what?
Because I truly believe thatmovement is so beneficial for
having premenstrual dysphoricdisorder.
If you stay stagnant, or youstay sitting down or you stay,
your symptoms are going to beworse.
So I literally wanted to keepin the movement.
So what I said was daily walks.
Daily walks is something thatI'm going to keep in as a
(21:33):
non-negotiable and itdramatically increased my
physical, my emotional and mymental health as I was
experiencing PMDD.
And I did this for a couple ofmonths and I said I'm just going
to walk my dog and then I wouldwalk my dog and then take him
back in, because walking my dogluckily gave me the initial
boost which you get, the initialboost of endorphins.
(21:53):
And then, when I got my secondwind, as I call it like when I
started to feel really good, Ibrought my dog in the house
because he's a small dog, he'snot like one of those big dogs
that's going to take me on along run.
I brought him in the house andI continued my walk, and so I
will give you my step count,which I hate doing because
everybody's like, oh my gosh,how many steps do I need to do?
(22:16):
I know that I initially did atleast 11,000.
It's like the weirdest numberbecause everybody's like 10,000
steps a day.
I literally did, at a minimum,11,000 steps and more.
I literally walked my dog andthen brought him in the house
and walked some more and I, at aminimum, got 11,000 steps a day
.
And the reason why I say that?
(22:36):
Because I wasn't really workingout, I wasn't really lifting
weights, I wasn't doing Pilatesor bars, all of the other things
that I was doing.
I was giving my body a break,but I was still wanting to
combat the PMDD symptoms likedepression, anxiety,
irritability.
These are all the things thatyou will get from not moving
your body and just sitting there.
Sitting there and staying stuckmakes the symptoms become
(23:00):
bigger because you're juststaring at them.
If you're in your bed and you'reexperiencing PMDD, like I told
you, I wake up in PMDD.
When I first have it On my dayone, I'll wake up in a cold
sweat.
I was sweating this morninglike a runaway slave and I was
sitting there like, oh my God, Iwake up with that.
If I was to stay in the bed,I'm 100%, 1000%, going to feel
(23:20):
worse.
But when I got to that pointwhere I was like you know what,
I'm still going to walk my dog,I'm still going to go for a walk
it boosted that level of.
It boosted my mood.
Like my mood was automaticallybetter once I got outside.
And I have gone through seasons, so you know we've gone from
the fall to the winter.
So it didn't matter for me ifit was cold outside or if it was
(23:41):
warm outside.
I just needed to get outside.
So that was the thing that Iwould pair with my daily.
Walks is like being out innature, because I know some
people are like getting thesewalking pads and I know these
people are like going to the gymand they're only doing their
walks out there.
I would say, at least commit toa 15 minute walk outside, even
if you're going to do the restinside, because I went on the
(24:03):
inside to my condo gym and Ifelt the difference between
going outside and being inside.
The walking outside was 1000%better and it wasn't about, oh,
I need to walk really fast or Ineed like power walk with
weights in my hand.
I was just walking, I was justwalking and a lot of time I was
vlogging when I if you follow meon Instagram that you were
there with me on my walks and itreduced my stress levels.
(24:27):
So when you wake up in themorning and you have
premenstrual dysphoric disorder,that's when your symptoms are
heightened.
It's like good morning, we'rein PMDD.
Your cortisol levels are really, really high.
Walking scientifically has beenproven to lower your cortisol
levels.
The body's primary stresshormone is cortisol and since
stress can amplify, amplify PMDDsymptoms, regular walks create
(24:53):
a sense of calm and it improvesthe resilience to the stressors.
So you're going to feel thesymptoms, but it improves your
reaction to them.
They're not going to hit ashard.
So we know that stress is badfor PMDD, which you should know
by now, stress is bad for PMDD.
Cortisol is the hormone thatproduces the stress.
(25:13):
What we need to do first thingin the morning, like your PMDD
morning routine, matters.
What you do in the morning whenyou have premenstrual dysphoric
disorder matters.
And the basis of what youshould do when you're coming to
compile your PMDD morningroutine is what can I do to
lower my stress levels, lower mycortisol?
I do not tell you that you haveto do the exact things that I'm
(25:35):
doing, but your primary targetshould be doing at least three,
at a bare minimum three to fivethings to lower your cortisol
levels, to lower that stresshormone.
Because as soon as it'sactivated and it's left dormant
and you're just leaving it there, it's going to tag, it's going
to pick on PMDD and make yoursymptoms worse.
So when you wake up in themorning and you're going to the
(25:57):
PMDD and you're like, what can Ido to improve my symptoms, to
make my suffering less, thinkabout what can I do to make me
stress less.
So that's the number one thing.
And so also with the walksregular physical activity like
walking.
It supports your hormoneimbalance.
So I know there's so manysupplements out there that it's
like I want to balance myhormones.
(26:17):
I want to balance my hormonessupplements out there that it's
like.
I want to balance my hormones,I want to balance my hormones.
You can do it holistically bygoing on daily walks.
I didn't say daily runs, Ididn't say you're running
marathons or like 5k or 10k.
Literally, walking will improveyour circulation, your
metabolism and it helps yourbody process the fluctuating
hormones that are going on thatare impacting your PMDD symptoms
(26:41):
.
So, just committing to walking,I would say, if you're wanting
to introduce this into yourmorning routine, you don't have
a dog, you don't have an animal,that's fine.
30 minutes a day, 30 minutes ofwalking in the morning, just
when you get up, just put youralarm for 30 minutes earlier and
you'll do that and just do thewalk.
Also, what the walking does,because I started doing morning
(27:02):
and evening walking, it improvedmy sleep quality because when I
went into PMDD, I hadrestlessness, I had insomnia, I
had all of these things, butwalking regulated my circadian
rhythm.
So I said, regardless of what'shappening in my day, how much
I'm suffering, I'm going to goon a walk and that's going to
(27:24):
trigger my body to relax and Ihad better sleep and I had less
of those waking up in the middleof the night or even problems
falling asleep.
And I know we're in the winterseason for a lot of the
countries that I'm speaking toyou in and you could feel like,
oh, I don't feel like walking,it's dark outside.
For me, it literally gets darkat 5 pm.
So what I did and I'm going toadd this in for the daily walks
(27:46):
is I got a walking buddy.
I got somebody from my condothat walks with me and she looks
forward to it and we just do awalk and talk where we kind of
catch up.
And I used to do that with mypartner.
Remember I talked to you abouthow, whenever we had issues, I
would say we need to do a walkand talk.
You can literally find a friendand do that with and I bet you,
if you ask a friend, like, hey,will you go on a walk with me?
(28:08):
They're just waiting forsomeone to ask them, because a
lot of people they don't want tobe accountable to themselves
because they're like, oh, I'mgoing to do it, and then they
don't do it.
But if you have someone waitingfor you outside your door like,
you're more likely to do it.
So having a physical walkingbuddy really helps, and the best
walking buddy is your partner.
So if you can get your partnersto commit to 30 minutes, I would
(28:31):
say even 20 minutes.
Just say 20 minutes.
Like, babe, we're about to havedinner.
Say it's like after dinner,like after dinner, can we just
walk for 20 minutes?
This is a perfect time for youto check in with your partner,
for you to talk to them, even ifyou have to put the kids to bed
.
Say, if you eat dinner aroundseven, you put the kids to bed
around 8.30, let's go on a walkfrom like eight to 8.20.
(28:51):
Then you still have that buffer.
Like, make it baby steps, makeit seem simple.
Simple is easy when it comes toimplementing some of these
things that are really going tohelp your PMDD symptoms.
Okay, also, it really relievedmy bloating, my cramps, my
muscle tension, because itreduces inflammation.
A lot of times the things thatare causing you to feel like you
(29:13):
have those body aches whenyou're in PMDD is because you
have inflammation in your bodyand so those daily walks as
little as 20 minutes is going tobe good for you.
It provided a mental break.
So for me I was dealing with alot of clients and I would need
that break, so I would take them, like in between sessions.
I started calculating mysessions with a 20 minute, 20 to
(29:39):
30 minute walk in between, andso it gave me that mental break
and allowed me to processeverything from the previous
session so that I can be my bestwhen it comes to my next client
.
Going back to back with clientsfor me was not beneficial,
because I never got the breakand then also, just like
sticking to a daily routine, itimproved my self-esteem, like it
made me feel good about myself,and that's why I did a lot of
(30:06):
my vlogging.
I'm like, hey guys, I felt goodabout myself, I felt
accomplished.
I got that dopamine hit fromtaking those daily walks.
So I know there's this big thingon like, oh my gosh, it's like
we can do hard things.
I always say with PMDD, you cando things.
They don't have to be hard,they just need to be something.
You have to do somethingaction-based.
And I know we get into thoserealms and we want to take pills
(30:28):
and we want to take supplementsand we want to get these
programs that are just going todo the work for us.
But I'm trying to tell you thequicker way to get it.
The quicker way to understandwhat your body is responding to
is to start doing actions andseeing how your PMDD symptoms
are impacted.
So I would say, if you're takingnotes on the session number one
, do daily walks at least 20minutes.
(30:50):
And if you don't want to wakeup at the crack of dawn like I
do like I wake up at 5 am andit's dark outside, that's
because I have a long life aheadof me.
Like, my days are long, but youcan do a daily walk at any time
.
You can say I'm going to do thedaily walk after dinner.
Don't let the time of day be adeterrent.
Before getting it done.
Don't say, oh, because I'm notdoing it at this time, I can't
(31:12):
get it done.
If you want to do evening walks, do evening walks, but at least
you've added it in Like, havethe confidence of like.
At the end of the day, I wouldset alarms on my phone because
it would just like remind me.
Like okay, don't forget you'regoing to do your walk.
And like you're not going tofeel like it, I will tell you
(31:35):
you're not going to feel like ita lot of the days, especially
when it's cold when you got allthe.
You can always give the excuses, but just know to yourself
you're not going to feel like it.
Do it anyway, just like Nike.
Do it, just do it.
You know, psychologically Iresearched that the way that the
Nike motto is so powerful, it'snot for the do it part.
You know the word that makesjust do it.
The Nike motto is so powerful.
It's not for the do it part.
You know the word that makesjust do it.
(31:55):
The Nike motto, which is one ofthe most popular mottos in
marketing and just has gottenpeople to just like go to the
brand.
It's the word just.
It's not do and it's not it'sjust because it simplifies it.
It makes it seem like, hey,whatever you got going on in
your day, just do it, just do it.
So I would say for the dailywalk, if you're, because I would
(32:18):
say you can actually use thefour things that I'm going to
give you.
You don't have to start allfour of them in the same month,
because I know we're in the newyear.
It's like everybody wants tostart all these new things.
Just Nowhere in the new year.
It's like everybody wants tostart all these new things, just
just do one thing.
If I'm telling you four thingson this episode, I would say
just do one.
That would be my motto.
Just do one, start implementingone and see how differently you
(32:38):
feel.
Just do one on a daily basis.
Do I take breaks on the weekends?
Absolutely freaking not.
I don't fall for that.
That's a scam for me because inPMDD I have to be very habitual
and I hate saying that word.
It sounds like a curse word,but I have to be very
habit-based because PMDD doesn'ttake a break.
(32:58):
Can you imagine if PMDD waslike oh, I'm only here for the
weekday and then on the weekendsI'll give you a break?
No, pmdd is there for me for 14days.
So that means whatever I'mdoing in my luteal phase to
reduce my PMDD symptoms, I needto do it every day.
When I give myself a break,that's when the PMDD symptoms
come rushing in.
So it's like I no longer getthe reduction in my PMDD
(33:20):
symptoms and, yes, I can take abreak, but it causes me to
suffer even more by taking thosethings out of my morning
routine or out of my dailyroutine.
So I would say whatever it isthat you choose out of these
four things, just do it, andjust do it daily in your luteal
phase.
If you want to switch it up inyour follicular phase and
ovulation, have at it, becauseyou're going to have the energy
(33:41):
to do it.
You're not going to besuffering with PMDDs, so do what
you want.
But I would say it's reallygoing to help you and I would
communicate this to your PMDDpartner and see if they can
somehow be integrated with theactivity that you choose off of
this episode.
Because when you start toassociate your reduction in PMDD
symptoms with your partner,your symptoms get better, versus
(34:02):
thinking that the reason whyyou're suffering in PMDD is your
partner.
Your relationship gets worse.
So don't just do this on yourown and keep it to yourself.
Really talk to your PMDDpartner and say, hey, this is
something that I'm thinkingabout doing, okay, so I would
say the walk.
Just figure out a time you canpause this and really think
about it.
Figure out a time that you wantto do your daily walk and
(34:23):
commit to that.
The next thing that has helpedme and this may not be your
thing, because I have a lot offriends that is not there and
traveling has really helped mereduce my PMDD symptoms because
I used to travel every now andagain.
It used to be a very sporadicthing and I noticed on the
months that I traveled I hadless PMDD symptoms.
(34:45):
The impact was less.
Again, I still experienced them, but the impact was less
because you know why.
I was distracted.
I kind of broke my routinesthat I was doing the negative
patterns that I had, so I didn'tjust wake up out of my same bed
doing the same things.
So the first way that itimpacted me was it disrupted the
negative patterns that I have.
(35:06):
So PMDD makes you feeloverwhelming when you're stuck
in the same environment.
You're the same routines doingthe same things.
Traveling helps me distractmyself but by looking at this
fresh perspective and itdisrupted the cycle of stress.
Like I got to explore newplaces, I got to like do
different things, I got to focuson positive experiences that
(35:26):
brought me joy and ultimately itreduced my stress.
Like, granted, the airports arehard because if you have
sensitivity to noise, misophonia, the airports are hard because
they're loud and they're kind oftriggering.
But if you can get past that,like the payoff from traveling
(35:47):
has been amazing for me.
It has made me feel like I'mnot so debilitated, like I'm
this broken bird that can't docertain things Like I, felt so
powerful, being able to travel,and that's one of my loves and
it's something that I love to doin my follicular phase.
So the fact that I plugged itinto my luteal phase made me
(36:07):
feel like, oh, you can do this.
It boosted my mood, it boostedmy confidence exploring new
places, new cultures, new food,new activities.
I was so engulfed in what I wasdoing.
I was so immersed in the thingsthat I was doing that I wasn't
so focused on my PMDD symptoms.
Another thing that it did wasit provided physical movement.
(36:28):
Every time that I travel, Igenuinely walk more than I
normally do and it reduced mysymptoms of irritability,
fatigue, like when I got intothose places of fatigue, like I.
You know, I didn't feel astired if I was already on the
move, especially if I hadplanned like excursions and I
had places to go.
And the next thing it did, Igot that social connection I
(36:50):
would always try to go to anevent or go to like a meetup
group or something, wherever Iwas traveling, and it helped me
to focus not so much on PMDD butmore into the things that I
love.
So I would say, for traveling,if you can't travel.
I would say you can pair thison focus on three things that
you love to do and focus onplugging that in on a weekly, on
a monthly basis.
I would prefer a weekly basisbecause, like I started dancing,
(37:13):
like going to salsa dancing,bachata dancing, all of the
things to just give me a break,give me an excuse to get dressed
up, and all the things whichI'll get into the next one.
It gave me a reason to do thesethings.
That made me feel good, versusI just decide to do them on my
own, okay.
The next thing is, um the thegetting dressed up.
(37:38):
I love, love, love gettingdressed up when I'm in PMDD,
because when you're in PMDD,internally you can feel like a
piece of crap, right, you canfeel like, oh, I can't do this,
I'm so fatigued.
I'm so when I, when I starteddating this is how I discovered
it I discovered it because Istarted dating and when I
started dating, I had to getdressed up.
(38:01):
So I was always in this placeof like, oh, I got to get
dressed up for this and Inoticed there was a really big
boost in my self-esteem and myself-confidence and my mood,
because I would always getdressed to listening to music
and then I would just feel good.
I would put on some music thatfelt good to me for the moment.
Every day would be different.
I would go from country to EDM,to pop music, to R&B Whatever
(38:25):
mood that I was feeling, I wouldput that music on and I would
get an immediate dopaminerelease.
So the act of getting ready andfocusing on self-care it's
rewarding because you get thedopamine, which is a feel-good
chemical in the brain.
It improves the mood and itreduces irritability, and I saw
this 100%.
My daughter would say you lookso happy when you're getting
(38:46):
ready to go on a date.
She would almost ask me hey,are you going on a date?
Because she would know, likewhen I was getting dressed, that
like, oh, she's going to be inthis happy mood Because even if
I didn't feel like it and therewould be moments where I didn't
feel like it, I would like turnthe shower on, and then I ended
up moving.
My daughter got me an upgradedI don't want to say the name,
but an upgraded product thatstreams music, because if I say
(39:09):
the name, it's going to activateright now.
But she bought me an upgradedone.
So I have one in the bathroomand one in the living room, one
in my room.
So every single time that I'mgoing to get ready, I'm putting
on the music that makes me feelgood, I'm putting on my makeup,
I'm getting dressed, I'm lookinggood and it literally breaks
the cycle of isolation.
It breaks the cycle ofisolation.
(39:30):
I know that I'm going to go out.
I'm going to go out aroundother people.
It's a literal mental reset.
Even though I'm in PMDD, I wasfeeling good about myself and I
had so much joy and it just mademe so happy and it wasn't
because I was not out of PMDD.
So a lot of you who follow me, alot of you who follow me on
(39:51):
social media, they're like oh mygosh, do you even still have
PMDD or how are you feeling?
Because I spent the majority ofmy journey vlogging all of my
PMDD symptoms and I noticed thatwhat you speak, the words that
you say out of your mouth, orwhat you're giving life to, or
what you're magnifying and therewere so many other aspects of
my life that I could magnifythat had nothing to do with PMDD
(40:13):
that I started to lean into.
Was I still having PMDDsymptoms, yes, and it was almost
like cyclical.
If you've been following me fora while, you know that I have.
My main symptoms, I will say, inPMDD are anxiety first thing in
the morning, depression I willget it late at night,
specifically if I'm lonely.
Sensitivity to noise that'spretty much all day.
I have a train that lives, thatoperates next to me, so
(40:37):
whenever I'm walking my dog, leolike I hear the train and it
sounds like 10 times louderNight sweats.
I've already told you aboutBrain fog really confused,
really overwhelmed, reallystressed.
These are the things that ishelping me.
So I'm still experiencing PMDDsymptoms.
I just want to say that becauseI sound happy, I look happy, I
(40:59):
feel different, I look different.
I've had people, even peoplethat don't even know that I have
PMDD have called me over theholiday and they're like I've
never seen you this happy and Idon't want anyone to ever think
that it's because I broke upwith my ex PMDD partner.
That's not the thing, it's whatI added in after we broke up.
So I don't want you to getconfused and be like I want to
(41:20):
be happy, like Dr Rose, so Ineed to dump my partner.
No, dumping, my partner was notthe catalyst for any of this.
It was literally what I choseto do with my life.
After I was in that place whereeverything got stripped away
from me by my own decision, Iwill say, like nobody did this
to me, I decided, but then I waslike left with this, like blank
(41:41):
slate of like what is going onwith my life?
What kind of life do I want tolive?
And these are the things that Idecided to add to it.
So the fourth thing, the verylast thing, the most impactful
thing you know how they say,save the best for last is raving
, dancing, going to festivals.
Edm music is electric dancemusic.
I know I keep saying EDM, butit's something that has brought
(42:06):
me joy for many years.
That I honestly took out of myprevious relationship, as I've
stated, for multiple reasons.
But when I brought it back, itwas literally like coming home
to myself so much that I reallywanted to research, like why is
raving so good for me?
Like why do I feel so muchbetter?
(42:26):
To the fact that I went lastmonth, in December, and I didn't
.
I don't remember PMDD.
I don't remember I was doingthese four things.
So that's why I because Ijournal every day.
So I wanted to bring you all thedata.
I don't remember, like, becauseI remember having fun all of
December of 2024.
I had fun, I had joy, I feltgreat and I can't tell you where
(42:51):
my cycle began and ended,because I gave myself that break
of like vlogging, like day oneof PMDD, day two, like I didn't
do that and I don't.
I remember feeling fatigue butlike that's the biggest symptom
that I would say.
That really like made me likeHmm, I must be in PMDD, but I
didn't really.
I was like, okay, well, I justslept more, like it was no big
(43:12):
deal for me.
So I wanted to go over whyraving and again raving is an
acquired taste.
It's not for everybody.
Everybody doesn't love to do it.
I love to do it and I've lovedto do it since 2010 when I went
to my first EDC.
My 2010, when I went to myfirst EDC my electric dance
carnival and I was living inMiami, florida.
(43:36):
I went to it and I had anamazing time and then I got.
I remember I got in arelationship and then I didn't
do it again because any likeraving and going to these
festivals and being inrelationships, I think that you
have to be compatible withsomeone who equally raves,
because otherwise your partnercan uh, insecure partner,
anxious partner or even avoidantpartner can get really like
triggered by you going to thesefestivals and I never wanted to
(43:58):
do an activity that triggered mypartner.
So, moving forward, when itcame to dating, I'm like is it
possible for me to like date afellow raver?
Because I see couples that ravetogether, like they go to the
rave and they're like dancingtogether, they're having fun
together, cause, like raving isthe long time Like when you go
to these festivals like the lastone I went to for new year's
(44:18):
was 4 PM to 4 AM, like it's 12hours of like straight dancing,
like music, and I know this thestigma is that you have to do
drugs or both.
I didn't do any drugs.
I literally I love dancing, Ilove being in the vibe of music
and there's several artists thatgo to these raves.
(44:39):
But I'm going to tell you howit improved my PMDD symptoms.
Number one reason was therelease of endorphins.
So dancing for hours and hoursand hours to energetic music, it
triggers the release ofendorphins.
I remember the one time thatTony Robbins said,
scientifically, you cannot bedepressed and be dancing, and I
literally thought about that andI was like you're so right,
like your brain won't allow youto do it, like you cannot be in
(45:02):
a mode of dancing and movingaround in your body, whatever
that looks like Like I feel likethere's so many stipulations to
dancing and it's like I don'tknow how to dance.
It's like move your body,there's no right way to do it,
and that's why I love raving,like going to rave festivals,
because no one is looking atlike because I've done salsa,
I've done bachata, I've donemerengue, I've done all Around.
(45:30):
The summertime I started to do alot of salsa and bachata and go
to the dance clubs, but it wasvery structured.
It was very like one, two,three, one, two, three, and I'm
just like yeah, this is not forme, not for me, like, but I
still loved it because I wasstill moving my body.
But I just loved it when theyallowed us to do the free dance.
So that's how I kind of likewent into the realm of raving,
(45:51):
because I was like I still wantto dance, but I want to do it in
a way that, like makes me feelfree.
I want to do it like I'm in mybathroom or in my bedroom, just
like flailing around, dancing,listening to music and moving.
However, I want to move and sothe next thing that the raving
did for my PMDD symptoms it hascreated a sense of belonging,
like this community of ravers,like one of the most impactful
(46:13):
compliments that I've gottenwhen I've been raving is like I
love your vibe, I love yourenergy.
It's not about what youphysically look like, it's not
about you being in this specificthing.
They're so inclusive.
Everybody is welcome, everybodyloves you.
Everybody's just trying to justhave a good time and just love.
(46:36):
I love it, I love it.
I love it.
I love it Because there's nojudgment.
You can literally show up.
They have people showing up inonesies.
They have people showing upwith gothic stuff.
There's such a wide spectrum.
So what I've noticed peopleshowing up with gothic stuff,
like there's such a widespectrum.
So what I've noticed?
I ended up getting nosepiercings, which I didn't have
before.
I got a septum and a nosepiercing.
I ended up wearing chains Ithink you can hear them right
(46:58):
now like I ended up wearingleather pants.
Like I got to know my true vibefrom going to these things,
because it's such a level ofexpression.
I was like what am I gonna wear?
And when I really leaned intoit, I got to like lean into the
core of like how I felt and Ifelt like a really good person.
Like I felt amazing living inthat vibe and sharing the
(47:21):
different musics.
Like there's so many differentkinds of music that are plays,
that rave, and you can literallyjust like lean into whatever
resonates with you and even ifit's not your favorite song,
you're still dancing around andthere's still this amazing
community that is supporting you.
And the next thing it did wasum, so that was like the
emotional expression.
Like if you have rage, if youwant to like freaking yell and
(47:42):
scream, there's people that arewilling to do that and they're
doing that in the songs and noone freaking cares.
If you're dealing with that inPMDD and you go to a rave and
you freaking scream your ballsout like I, no one cares.
Like you can scream your lungsout, not your balls out, sorry,
you can scream your lungs out,no one's gonna care.
They're just gonna be like,yeah, they're gonna like cheer
you on.
It's like going to a musicalrage room.
(48:03):
Right, and I know you've all,if you have PMDD rage, you
thought about going to a rageroom.
You're like, oh my gosh, that'son my like bucket list.
So the next thing it did is Ihad this level of like
mindfulness when I had, likethese ruminating thoughts about
things, specifically aboutdating, when I went to the rave.
I was not thinking about that.
It literally gave me a breakfrom the overthinking.
(48:24):
But what about this?
And what about?
I wasn't thinking aboutanything like.
I wasn't thinking about Like, Iwasn't thinking about that, I
wasn't thinking about thatperson, I wasn't thinking about
that situation.
Um, and then also, it reduced mybloating.
I had experienced a lot ofbloating from like allowing
myself to like eat anything thatI wanted and I was like, okay
with it.
It was like kind of like youknow what your body responds to
(48:44):
and you know that.
I hope you know thatinflammation during PMDD makes
your symptoms worse.
When your body is inflamed frombloating, it makes your
symptoms worse.
So I would say, like, whateverphysical exercise you do, lean
it into something that's goingto reduce the bloating, which
the dancing definitely did.
One time I think it was NewYear's Day I had 20,423 steps
(49:07):
and that was literally from thedancing.
20,423 steps and that wasliterally from the dancing and
that's when I got like the boostof dopamine, which is like
you're getting something done,and the boost of serotonin.
And these are the things thatdopamine and serotonin levels
are normally really low withindividuals who have
premenstrual dysphoric disorder,but the uplifting, repetitive
beats at race it enhances thoseeffects, so it leaves you more
(49:28):
positive and energized and itincreases those levels that are
being dragged down by PMDD.
So think of it as like PMDD isdragging your dopamine and
serotonin levels down and you'rebuilding it back up by dancing
and raving.
So that's what I mean by theactions that you take are going
to be the thing that impact yourPMDD symptoms, not just sitting
back and be like, oh, I guessthis is how my life is.
(49:48):
No, these things were allphysical acts and then, honestly
, it just made me more positive.
I was so proud of myself forstepping out of my comfort zone
and going back to something thatI genuinely loved that I had
taken away, and I just feltproud of myself.
I felt happy with the communitythat I had.
(50:09):
I even have friends that aren'trapers and they're just like I
can't believe this side of youand I.
Just my PMDD symptoms were verydrastically reduced, they were
not eliminated.
So that's like my disclaimer,like this did not eliminate my
PMDD symptoms, but it diddramatically reduce them.
So I would say your homework forthis episode is to go and just
(50:29):
think about four things that youcan do in the same category
that literally fit well with you.
It could be watching a Netflixseries, it could be walking your
dog Whatever it is justsomething that brings you joy.
And start implementing thosethings into your daily and your
weekly and your monthly life toreduce your PMDD symptoms.
So I'm exposing everything toyou just so, if you see me, you
(50:52):
know why I'm more happy.
I even sound like more upbeaton the podcast and I just want
you to just understand where I'mcoming from.
Where it's coming from, becauseI've followed people for so long
and I've just seen a transition, but they've not really given
me the goods.
They haven't really told me,like, what's the secret sauce?
Like, what are you doing?
So I am giving you the secretsauce so that you can create
(51:13):
this specifically for you, andif this is something that you
need to like, I need someone tohelp me do this.
I need someone to map this outfor me.
This is something that we cando in one session.
So go to the link that's in theshow notes or go to
inlovewithpmddcom, and we can doa strategy session where we can
just get this Literally.
I can map out what your fourthings are that you should be
(51:33):
doing on a monthly and or weeklydaily basis in your luteal
phase for your premenstrualdisorder symptoms.
We got this.
Until next time, love you.
So today I wanted to talk to you about four things
that have dramatically helped myPMDD symptoms.
So much to the fact that I'vegotten so many DMs on TikTok and
Instagram asking me do I stillexperience PMDD symptoms, am I
(00:22):
still in the realm of PMDD?
All of these things because itlooks like I'm out of the game.
It looks like I'm not havingPMDD.
It looks like I'm just in thisaltered universe because I went
from really really suffering toreally really looking like I'm
experiencing a lot of joy and alot of peace and a lot of
(00:42):
happiness.
And I know that can be verytriggering for individuals that
are suffering in PMDD.
So, first and foremost, I getthat.
I understand that.
I remember being in the depthsof my suffering with PMDD and
feeling like, oh great, thisperson has healed their PMDD,
like they're over it.
And then I'm just left in thedumps Like what am I doing wrong
?
And all of these things.
(01:04):
And I always try to be veryopen with you about what I'm
doing on my journey, because Inever want you to feel like
you're alone in the sufferingwith PMDD and I never want you
to feel like anything that I'mdoing is not something that you
can do.
So I'm going to give you mysecret not so secret If you
follow me on Instagram.
Every single day I vlog myjourney of what I've been doing
(01:27):
for the last, I would say, twomonths two to three months in
PMDD.
That has dramatically decreasedmy PMDD symptoms, so much that
I've had to, like check mycalendar just to see if I'm in
PMDD, just to see what phase ofmy cycle that I'm on, whereas
before I used to know, based offof how I was feeling, exactly
(01:48):
where I was and I'd be like, oh,it's going to be like this, or
oh, I'm going to have anxiety,oh, I'm going to have depression
, oh, I'm going to havesensitivity to noise, oh, I'm
going to be like, not functionalin these certain areas.
But I want to give you the fourthings that I have been doing
that I've stayed consistent with.
Obviously, if you have PMDD, ifyou have premenstrual dysphoric
disorder, you're always in therealm of trying something new.
(02:10):
You're always in the realm ofexperimenting, you're always
trying to wave the magic wandand get rid of PMDD.
So you're very open to all ofthe things that other people
have said works for PMDD andyou're kind of like what worked
for you.
Let me try that and see if thatworks for me.
And I get it, because you getso deep in the depths of
suffering that you're trying towiden your level of tools that
(02:33):
you have for PMDD, obviously,which is why you're here You're
suffering in your PMDDrelationship or you're wanting
more tools for your PMDDrelationship and you're trying
to get access to that.
So I get that aspect and I'mjust going to tell you the four
things that I've been doingbecause I know that, as I've
(02:53):
like been on this journey ofcoming home to myself really
after a year ago almost a year,not a year and a half, almost a
year and a half since thebreakup it looks like right, it
looks like from the outside that, oh my gosh, once Dr Rose
became single, she's so muchmore happier.
Maybe I should be single, right,and I know this because I have
(03:15):
private clients that have saidthis to my face.
And I literally have in-personclients, because when I travel,
I let my clients know that I'mtraveling and so I'll meet with
some of them in person because Itravel on a monthly basis.
But they've literally said Iknow it's because you're single.
I know your PMDD symptoms areless because you're single, and
I just want to debunk the myth.
(03:37):
And it's not because I'm single, it's because of the things
that I've added that I'm goingto talk to you about today.
But I can get how it can seemlike being single is the cure
for PMDD, which is somethingthat I've literally said.
Being single is not the cure forPMDD.
Just because you don't have apartner doesn't mean that you
don't have premenstrualdysphoric disorder symptoms.
(03:58):
I never want you to feel likethat.
I never want you to think thatthat's the solution, because
it's not, and anyone that'strying to portray that it is.
Even if they say that, oh, mysymptoms are less because I'm
single, and now that I'm single,my symptoms are better, it's
not a cure for PMDD and there'sa counter to that.
(04:23):
There's something that they'remissing.
Also, like I know, for me andI'll just start off with this
before I even go into everythingthat I've been doing being
single has not been easy,because I've been missing
certain things that I had when Iwas in the relationship, and I
will go over that first, becauseit's not the easy way out, like
(04:43):
pulling the plug on yourrelationship a lot of times when
you're in your luteal phasewhen you're in PMDD.
That's what your PMDD brainwants you to think that if you
just become single, your PMDDsymptoms are going to go away.
It's going to be so much betterif you could just be cooped up
alone in your house.
You don't have to worry aboutanyone else.
You don't have to worry aboutwhat they're thinking, what
(05:08):
they're saying, what they'redoing.
You can just manage yoursymptoms on your own.
I know that's what your PMDDbrain is telling you.
Because guess what, if we allhave PMDD, we all have
premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
We all have the same brainthat's telling us the same
things.
Have you ever even askedyourself that?
Is there a reason why,cognitively, everyone who has
PMDD is like thinking the samething?
It's because it's the sameprogramming, it's the same
(05:29):
pattern.
We are all across the world.
I checked my stats for 2024.
I have clients in over 70countries, 70 different
countries and you're all feelingand thinking the same things
when you go into your lutealphase.
There's no way that that's acoincidence.
There's no way that we'remagically all thinking the same
(05:53):
thing.
It's because that's what yourPMDD brain is trying to tell you
.
So I want to just let you knowthat if you're going through
premenstrual dysphoric disorderand you're feeling like you want
to break up with your partnerevery single month, just
recognize that that's going tobe a symptom.
I know it's not labeled as like, oh, anxiety, depression,
breaking up with my partner, butthe sooner you realize that,
the better off you're going tobe and the less alone that
(06:15):
you're going to feel.
Because I know a lot of youthat have come to me very early
on, specifically from TikTok,because I've just activated my
account for TikTok this year andI love that community because
you're so responsive and you'reso communicative and everything.
You feel like you're alone andI get comments like this every
single day off of my videos onTikTok and it's like I thought I
(06:37):
was the only one.
I thought I was alone.
You're not alone.
There's a whole community of usand I'm creating something for
us to really connect.
That's really going to help youfeel less alone.
Because I remember thinking thatthere was something wrong with
me because I was always wantingto break up with my partner,
because I was comparing myselfto individuals that did not have
premenstrual dysphoric disorderand I'm like there's something
(06:59):
wrong with me because everybodycan seem to, even if they have
issues.
They can figure out their PMDDrelationship, but for some
reason, I can't.
So the first thing I want tolet you know is that you're not
alone.
And the next thing I want youto know is that, as I've gone on
this journey for the pastcouple of months, it's not that
(07:19):
I'm being single and I'm notexperiencing my same PMDD
symptoms.
I am experiencing symptoms.
I would say that my focus on mysymptoms has shifted a lot
because when I went in thisjourney, on my own personal
journey of self-worth, ofself-love which is something
that I had to do because, asI've said before, my self-worth,
(07:41):
my self-love and that wholejourney that can seem very taboo
for people it's like, oh, loveyourself, my self-worth and what
I was accepting was in thegarbage.
It was in the garbage, it wasin the trash.
I was literally acceptingbreadcrumbs, I was accepting
little things and it wasimpacting my PMDD when I got
into my luteal phase.
(08:01):
It caused me to overthink a lotof things, it caused me to
question myself, it caused me toquestion everything and you
would think, coming off thislast year, of like, oh, you got
your doctorate or oh, you didthis, I felt the lowest that
I've ever felt being in PMDDthis last year, because I went
into the dating realm and Iquestioned everything.
(08:23):
I question what I deserved.
I question if I should settlefor the breadcrumbing.
I question if I would settlefor the ghosting, because you
have to think individuals whoare not having PMDD are being
ghosted, individuals who are nothaving PMDD are being
gaslighted, they're beingbreadcrumbed.
So I'm like, oh my gosh, I feltlike I was lower than the low
(08:44):
when it came to the dating pool,which is why I invested in
getting help, which I 100% wouldrecommend in your PMDD
relationship, not just becauseI'm a PMDD relationship
psychotraumatologist and Iprovide those services for you,
but because it's something thatI actually had to do for myself.
And I had a conversationearlier today with my dating
(09:08):
mentor thanking him for I mean,it's been two months and the
things that I've shifted andchanged in my journey of PMDD
dating or dating with PMDD,however you want to word it it
has been monumental and I wouldhave never gotten to the level
that I've gotten, as far as thesatisfaction, as far as the joy,
as far as the peace, had I notinvested in meeting with him.
(09:32):
There's no way that I wouldhave figured it out on my own.
Because when you recognize thatyou're not an expert in
something, it's not like an egothing where it's like, oh, I'm
not an expert so I don't knowwhat to do, go find someone.
Someone is an expert in thething that you wanna improve
your life on.
That's what I realized when Iwanted to get better at dating.
I hired a dating mentor and Ipaid for it because I knew that
(09:55):
it was gonna be the quickest wayto get me from point A to point
B.
I know that you can go onGoogle University, youtube
University and kind of try tofigure things out, but the
quickest way to do it is with amentor.
And that's what I learnedfirsthand is that if someone
knows something about somethingthat I don't know, the quickest
(10:16):
way for me to have the leastsuffering in my PMDD and learn
the tools is to hire them.
And I hire I mean I do this formy podcast.
I have a whole podcast team atthis point, podcast producing
team that I hired because I'mnot a techie person, like I'm
not going to sit here and dolike a DIY and pretend like I
(10:36):
know what's going on.
I don't know what's going on.
That's not my level ofexpertise.
So I would say, if you'retrying to figure it out on your
own, you're wasting your time,which is what I did.
I did for years of like, oh,I'm going to try to do it myself
.
But everybody has their owntalents and skills and it's not
meaning that you're lessvaluable because you hire
(10:58):
someone.
It's also it's like you worksmarter, not harder.
So when I was first starting thepodcast back in 2021, I can't
even believe it's been like fouryears, four and some change I
didn't know about all of thesethings.
And the first two years and youcan go back if you're really
bored, you can go back andlisten to what the episodes
sounded like, because I didn'tknow what to do with the podcast
(11:21):
.
I just knew that I wanted to doa podcast and I just went and
tried to DIY, do it on my own.
And then, when I started toinvest in, okay, I need to get
better equipment or okay, I needto get someone to clip my
things.
It's a thing when you decide toimprove a level of your life,
you have to invest, and I knowwhat it feels like to feel like
(11:43):
you want to just get therewithout investing.
You don't want to pay any money.
You just want to see if youcould do it yourself.
I've been there.
I've wasted hours and hours ofmy time because I've not
produced anything.
I've wasted time trying to workon things.
So this is what I mean for yourPMDD relationship.
Maybe you've tried to haveconversations with your partner
(12:04):
again and again and again andthey're not getting it.
They're getting annoyed.
The same way that I got annoyedwith trying to set up my
podcast studio without knowingabout podcast things is the same
way your partner can getannoyed with you trying to tell
them how to be a supportive PMDDpartner when you don't have the
tools to do that.
You're just like, you just needto do it.
(12:25):
It's like the Nike thing.
It's like, just do it.
It's like what does that look?
Like chicken nugget.
I don't know.
I hear what you're saying, butI don't hear what you're saying.
I don't know what I'm supposedto do with that information.
And so when I invested in mydating mentor, it shifted my
life very quickly.
I told him that my dating lifechanged within two weeks of
(12:47):
implementing the tools that hewas given from when I hired him.
In two weeks time, my completeexperience changed, and it
wouldn't have had I not reachedout to him, and I feel like a
lot of times, the ego is there.
The ego is like, oh, you shouldbe able to do this on your own,
or, oh, it's not that hard.
Yeah, it doesn't have to bethat hard in order for you to
(13:08):
not be able to do it.
I'm not expecting it to be thathard, but why waste your time
and energy that you could bespending on your family, that
you could be spending on yourloved ones, versus just hiring
someone who has gone through thejourney?
Everybody that I have hired onmy team has gone through the
struggle and figured it out.
They're telling me what theyhave learned on their journey
(13:30):
and I am investing in them.
I am paying them for what it isthat they've learned on the
journey.
It's the same thing with you Ifyou're listening to this
podcast and I'm telling youabout PMDD relationships.
I didn't learn this from a book.
I honestly could say that Ididn't learn this from a book.
I learned this from years ofcounseling and coaching PMDD
partners and PMDD sufferers inrelationships.
(13:53):
This is not something that Icould say, oh, I went to
so-and-so university and Ilearned it.
No, I learned it fromspecifically talking to the
individuals who are sufferingwith PMDD and their partners,
and I've done that, and I'vedone that for years.
And why would I expect you tohave the same level of knowledge
, that I have the same level ofexperience with people that have
come on hundreds of hours ofprivate sessions and talk to me
(14:16):
about what they're going through?
That's where the tools arecoming from, that's where the
knowledge is coming from, andI'm here to provide those tools
to you on the podcast for free99.
I provide them for free everysingle week.
But if you know that this issomething that you need to
customize, you're like Iresonate with you because the
things that you're saying areactually what I'm going through,
but I'm going through somethingreally specific.
(14:38):
I'm going through this and myPMDD relationship this is where
the private clients come in, sothat's the next level.
So, and my PMDD relationshipthis is where the private
clients come in, so that's thenext level.
So if you listen to the podcastand you feel like it's 2025,
I've listened to the podcast.
You resonated with me.
That's how I hired everyone thatI have in my arsenal of tools,
because right now, I'm on aself-worth, self-love journey,
(14:59):
because that's what I feel likewent in the garbage during this
last relationship, and so I'veinvested in rebuilding myself,
really coming home to myself,and I've seen the results
immediately, and so it made mefeel really good about my
investment.
I told you I enrolled in thisprogram.
It was like $3,000.
(15:19):
And it was like to justbasically have you come home to
yourself, recognize yourself-worth all of these things
and that's something that I hadto do.
That was something, personally,that I was like you know what,
Wherever I go forward in myjourney of dating and in a
relationship, and especially ina PMDD relationship, I need to
work on this hole, this gap, andI could go on YouTube
(15:44):
University and go on Reddit andgo on these Facebook groups and
I could do that, and it wouldtake me a lot of time, which is
not something that I just wantedto invest in, I will say,
because it's like a catch ormiss.
When you're going on theseFacebook groups and you're going
on Reddit and you're going onthese things, you're having to
(16:05):
customize it, which is what I dofor my private clients.
I customize every tool that Ialready have, that I've already
implemented.
I customize it to what'sspecifically going on in their
PMDD relationship and that's whyit's so effective, because I'm
getting to know what's going onin their life and I'm
customizing my tools to what'sgoing on in their life and
(16:25):
that's why they get quickerresults.
So that's why getting privatesessions with me is a lot
quicker than just listening tothe podcast.
Listen to the podcast is do itevery single week, twice a week.
I remember when I first startedmy journey I only did it once a
week and one of my privateclients was like once a week is
not enough.
And I immediately listened tothat and I started giving two
(16:46):
episodes a week to be able togive more value.
But if you want that customizedadvice, the link is in the show
notes and that literally getsyou to your destination quicker.
Can you get there by listeningfor hours and hours and hours on
the podcast?
Yes, and absolutely keep comingback every single week.
But when you need a change, whenyou want to change, you
(17:09):
literally will invest for achange.
People only really invest inthemselves in the place of
suffering, which I have learnedwhen they're suffering in their
PMDD relationship.
That's when they're willing toget help, point blank, period.
It happens For me because whenI was suffering with PMDD dating
, dating with PMDD I immediatelyinvested to get help Point
blank period.
It happens For me because whenI was suffering with PMDD dating
, dating with PMDD I immediatelyinvested to get help.
I was like I don't have timefor this.
(17:29):
I know that I want to date.
I know that I want to connectto other people, but I don't
know what to do.
And sometimes you just want toknow what to do, which is why I
created the program.
My partner has PMDD.
Now what For the partners thatjust want to know what to do?
That's literally what thatprogram is.
Dr Rose, I'm all over the place.
I want to be a more supportivePMDD partner.
(17:50):
Or, dr Rose, my partner's notsupportive.
I really want them to besupportive and I'm tired of
sending them articles andthey're not really getting what
I'm saying.
This is why I created thecourse.
You don't have to keep doingall of that work.
I'm packaging it up and sendingit to you, so the link for that
is in the show notes, is stillon sale for the month of January
, and I just want to give youthe bottom line of what has
(18:14):
worked for PMDD partners andPMDD sufferers.
I'm not telling you somethingthat has worked for the masses.
I specialize as Dr Rose yourPMDD relationships,
psychotraumatologist only onPMDD relationships, and I will
say this once and I'll say itagain there's so many realms of
PMDD that I could say like, oh,I'm an expert.
I'm not and I don't want to be.
(18:35):
I'm an expert in PMDDrelationships and that's it.
And so if that's something thatyou're feeling like, okay, this
is something that I need helpwith, then be willing to invest,
because if you're strugglingwith the same thing again and
again and again, it's not goingto change, it's not going to be
different.
I've been there where everysingle month was different.
I felt like I was in GroundhogDay.
(18:55):
Every month we were arguing,every month we were fighting.
There was nothing that I feltlike I could do without it.
I just knew what it was goingto be, and that created a lot of
anxiety for me and PMDD.
And now, with these fournon-negotiables that I put into
my routine that havedramatically helped my PMDD
(19:15):
symptoms, I know that my monthsare not going to suck, whereas
before, my months literallysucked, regardless of what you
thought on the outside, I wouldhave months that literally
sucked and I was like, okay,what are the things that I can
do?
So I will tell you the fourthings right now, because they
have dramatically shifted megoing into my luteal phase.
(19:39):
I started PMDD yesterday.
No, no, no, today is day one ofPMDD.
I started today yesterday.
No, no, no, today is day one ofPMDD.
I started today.
And what I want to preface andsay is I still experience PMDD
symptoms.
I'm not saying these are thefour things that I did to take
my PMDD symptoms away.
So before you click off and belike, oh, forget that, no, I'm
(20:00):
saying that these are fourthings that have dramatically
shifted how I'm suffering inPMDD.
It's made my suffering less.
Like I don't suffer in PMDD.
I experienced PMDD but I don'tsuffer in it, like it doesn't
suck as much as it sucked before.
And so the first thing is thedaily walks.
When I went over the holidayschedule, like you know, over
(20:23):
like December, it was likereally crazy.
I was, you know, had my normalPMDD morning routine and you can
hear about that all on theprevious episodes.
But I I wanted to take a breakfrom that.
I really wanted to pull back onthat because I was going to be
super busy and I felt like itwas going to be really stressful
for me to still do the full ongo to the gym, even though the
(20:47):
gym is literally in my complex.
I wanted to give my body abreak, I wanted to get my mind a
break because I wasn'tscheduling a lot of clients on a
routine basis as far as like,oh, I need to be up at a certain
time, like I wanted to give mybody and mind a break for at
least two weeks so to just feelwhat it felt like to not be in
that hyperactive like PMDD, youknow, sufferer mode.
(21:11):
And so I said but you know what?
Because I truly believe thatmovement is so beneficial for
having premenstrual dysphoricdisorder.
If you stay stagnant, or youstay sitting down or you stay,
your symptoms are going to beworse.
So I literally wanted to keepin the movement.
So what I said was daily walks.
Daily walks is something thatI'm going to keep in as a
(21:33):
non-negotiable and itdramatically increased my
physical, my emotional and mymental health as I was
experiencing PMDD.
And I did this for a couple ofmonths and I said I'm just going
to walk my dog and then I wouldwalk my dog and then take him
back in, because walking my dogluckily gave me the initial
boost which you get, the initialboost of endorphins.
(21:53):
And then, when I got my secondwind, as I call it like when I
started to feel really good, Ibrought my dog in the house
because he's a small dog, he'snot like one of those big dogs
that's going to take me on along run.
I brought him in the house andI continued my walk, and so I
will give you my step count,which I hate doing because
everybody's like, oh my gosh,how many steps do I need to do?
(22:16):
I know that I initially did atleast 11,000.
It's like the weirdest numberbecause everybody's like 10,000
steps a day.
I literally did, at a minimum,11,000 steps and more.
I literally walked my dog andthen brought him in the house
and walked some more and I, at aminimum, got 11,000 steps a day
.
And the reason why I say that?
(22:36):
Because I wasn't really workingout, I wasn't really lifting
weights, I wasn't doing Pilatesor bars, all of the other things
that I was doing.
I was giving my body a break,but I was still wanting to
combat the PMDD symptoms likedepression, anxiety,
irritability.
These are all the things thatyou will get from not moving
your body and just sitting there.
Sitting there and staying stuckmakes the symptoms become
(23:00):
bigger because you're juststaring at them.
If you're in your bed and you'reexperiencing PMDD, like I told
you, I wake up in PMDD.
When I first have it On my dayone, I'll wake up in a cold
sweat.
I was sweating this morninglike a runaway slave and I was
sitting there like, oh my God, Iwake up with that.
If I was to stay in the bed,I'm 100%, 1000%, going to feel
(23:20):
worse.
But when I got to that pointwhere I was like you know what,
I'm still going to walk my dog,I'm still going to go for a walk
it boosted that level of.
It boosted my mood.
Like my mood was automaticallybetter once I got outside.
And I have gone through seasons, so you know we've gone from
the fall to the winter.
So it didn't matter for me ifit was cold outside or if it was
(23:41):
warm outside.
I just needed to get outside.
So that was the thing that Iwould pair with my daily.
Walks is like being out innature, because I know some
people are like getting thesewalking pads and I know these
people are like going to the gymand they're only doing their
walks out there.
I would say, at least commit toa 15 minute walk outside, even
if you're going to do the restinside, because I went on the
(24:03):
inside to my condo gym and Ifelt the difference between
going outside and being inside.
The walking outside was 1000%better and it wasn't about, oh,
I need to walk really fast or Ineed like power walk with
weights in my hand.
I was just walking, I was justwalking and a lot of time I was
vlogging when I if you follow meon Instagram that you were
there with me on my walks and itreduced my stress levels.
(24:27):
So when you wake up in themorning and you have
premenstrual dysphoric disorder,that's when your symptoms are
heightened.
It's like good morning, we'rein PMDD.
Your cortisol levels are really, really high.
Walking scientifically has beenproven to lower your cortisol
levels.
The body's primary stresshormone is cortisol and since
stress can amplify, amplify PMDDsymptoms, regular walks create
(24:53):
a sense of calm and it improvesthe resilience to the stressors.
So you're going to feel thesymptoms, but it improves your
reaction to them.
They're not going to hit ashard.
So we know that stress is badfor PMDD, which you should know
by now, stress is bad for PMDD.
Cortisol is the hormone thatproduces the stress.
(25:13):
What we need to do first thingin the morning, like your PMDD
morning routine, matters.
What you do in the morning whenyou have premenstrual dysphoric
disorder matters.
And the basis of what youshould do when you're coming to
compile your PMDD morningroutine is what can I do to
lower my stress levels, lower mycortisol?
I do not tell you that you haveto do the exact things that I'm
(25:35):
doing, but your primary targetshould be doing at least three,
at a bare minimum three to fivethings to lower your cortisol
levels, to lower that stresshormone.
Because as soon as it'sactivated and it's left dormant
and you're just leaving it there, it's going to tag, it's going
to pick on PMDD and make yoursymptoms worse.
So when you wake up in themorning and you're going to the
(25:57):
PMDD and you're like, what can Ido to improve my symptoms, to
make my suffering less, thinkabout what can I do to make me
stress less.
So that's the number one thing.
And so also with the walksregular physical activity like
walking.
It supports your hormoneimbalance.
So I know there's so manysupplements out there that it's
like I want to balance myhormones.
(26:17):
I want to balance my hormonessupplements out there that it's
like.
I want to balance my hormones,I want to balance my hormones.
You can do it holistically bygoing on daily walks.
I didn't say daily runs, Ididn't say you're running
marathons or like 5k or 10k.
Literally, walking will improveyour circulation, your
metabolism and it helps yourbody process the fluctuating
hormones that are going on thatare impacting your PMDD symptoms
(26:41):
.
So, just committing to walking,I would say, if you're wanting
to introduce this into yourmorning routine, you don't have
a dog, you don't have an animal,that's fine.
30 minutes a day, 30 minutes ofwalking in the morning, just
when you get up, just put youralarm for 30 minutes earlier and
you'll do that and just do thewalk.
Also, what the walking does,because I started doing morning
(27:02):
and evening walking, it improvedmy sleep quality because when I
went into PMDD, I hadrestlessness, I had insomnia, I
had all of these things, butwalking regulated my circadian
rhythm.
So I said, regardless of what'shappening in my day, how much
I'm suffering, I'm going to goon a walk and that's going to
(27:24):
trigger my body to relax and Ihad better sleep and I had less
of those waking up in the middleof the night or even problems
falling asleep.
And I know we're in the winterseason for a lot of the
countries that I'm speaking toyou in and you could feel like,
oh, I don't feel like walking,it's dark outside.
For me, it literally gets darkat 5 pm.
So what I did and I'm going toadd this in for the daily walks
(27:46):
is I got a walking buddy.
I got somebody from my condothat walks with me and she looks
forward to it and we just do awalk and talk where we kind of
catch up.
And I used to do that with mypartner.
Remember I talked to you abouthow, whenever we had issues, I
would say we need to do a walkand talk.
You can literally find a friendand do that with and I bet you,
if you ask a friend, like, hey,will you go on a walk with me?
(28:08):
They're just waiting forsomeone to ask them, because a
lot of people they don't want tobe accountable to themselves
because they're like, oh, I'mgoing to do it, and then they
don't do it.
But if you have someone waitingfor you outside your door like,
you're more likely to do it.
So having a physical walkingbuddy really helps, and the best
walking buddy is your partner.
So if you can get your partnersto commit to 30 minutes, I would
(28:31):
say even 20 minutes.
Just say 20 minutes.
Like, babe, we're about to havedinner.
Say it's like after dinner,like after dinner, can we just
walk for 20 minutes?
This is a perfect time for youto check in with your partner,
for you to talk to them, even ifyou have to put the kids to bed
.
Say, if you eat dinner aroundseven, you put the kids to bed
around 8.30, let's go on a walkfrom like eight to 8.20.
(28:51):
Then you still have that buffer.
Like, make it baby steps, makeit seem simple.
Simple is easy when it comes toimplementing some of these
things that are really going tohelp your PMDD symptoms.
Okay, also, it really relievedmy bloating, my cramps, my
muscle tension, because itreduces inflammation.
A lot of times the things thatare causing you to feel like you
(29:13):
have those body aches whenyou're in PMDD is because you
have inflammation in your bodyand so those daily walks as
little as 20 minutes is going tobe good for you.
It provided a mental break.
So for me I was dealing with alot of clients and I would need
that break, so I would take them, like in between sessions.
I started calculating mysessions with a 20 minute, 20 to
(29:39):
30 minute walk in between, andso it gave me that mental break
and allowed me to processeverything from the previous
session so that I can be my bestwhen it comes to my next client
.
Going back to back with clientsfor me was not beneficial,
because I never got the breakand then also, just like
sticking to a daily routine, itimproved my self-esteem, like it
made me feel good about myself,and that's why I did a lot of
(30:06):
my vlogging.
I'm like, hey guys, I felt goodabout myself, I felt
accomplished.
I got that dopamine hit fromtaking those daily walks.
So I know there's this big thingon like, oh my gosh, it's like
we can do hard things.
I always say with PMDD, you cando things.
They don't have to be hard,they just need to be something.
You have to do somethingaction-based.
And I know we get into thoserealms and we want to take pills
(30:28):
and we want to take supplementsand we want to get these
programs that are just going todo the work for us.
But I'm trying to tell you thequicker way to get it.
The quicker way to understandwhat your body is responding to
is to start doing actions andseeing how your PMDD symptoms
are impacted.
So I would say, if you're takingnotes on the session number one
, do daily walks at least 20minutes.
(30:50):
And if you don't want to wakeup at the crack of dawn like I
do like I wake up at 5 am andit's dark outside, that's
because I have a long life aheadof me.
Like, my days are long, but youcan do a daily walk at any time
.
You can say I'm going to do thedaily walk after dinner.
Don't let the time of day be adeterrent.
Before getting it done.
Don't say, oh, because I'm notdoing it at this time, I can't
(31:12):
get it done.
If you want to do evening walks, do evening walks, but at least
you've added it in Like, havethe confidence of like.
At the end of the day, I wouldset alarms on my phone because
it would just like remind me.
Like okay, don't forget you'regoing to do your walk.
And like you're not going tofeel like it, I will tell you
(31:35):
you're not going to feel like ita lot of the days, especially
when it's cold when you got allthe.
You can always give the excuses, but just know to yourself
you're not going to feel like it.
Do it anyway, just like Nike.
Do it, just do it.
You know, psychologically Iresearched that the way that the
Nike motto is so powerful, it'snot for the do it part.
You know the word that makesjust do it.
The Nike motto is so powerful.
It's not for the do it part.
You know the word that makesjust do it.
(31:55):
The Nike motto, which is one ofthe most popular mottos in
marketing and just has gottenpeople to just like go to the
brand.
It's the word just.
It's not do and it's not it'sjust because it simplifies it.
It makes it seem like, hey,whatever you got going on in
your day, just do it, just do it.
So I would say for the dailywalk, if you're, because I would
(32:18):
say you can actually use thefour things that I'm going to
give you.
You don't have to start allfour of them in the same month,
because I know we're in the newyear.
It's like everybody wants tostart all these new things.
Just Nowhere in the new year.
It's like everybody wants tostart all these new things, just
just do one thing.
If I'm telling you four thingson this episode, I would say
just do one.
That would be my motto.
Just do one, start implementingone and see how differently you
(32:38):
feel.
Just do one on a daily basis.
Do I take breaks on the weekends?
Absolutely freaking not.
I don't fall for that.
That's a scam for me because inPMDD I have to be very habitual
and I hate saying that word.
It sounds like a curse word,but I have to be very
habit-based because PMDD doesn'ttake a break.
(32:58):
Can you imagine if PMDD waslike oh, I'm only here for the
weekday and then on the weekendsI'll give you a break?
No, pmdd is there for me for 14days.
So that means whatever I'mdoing in my luteal phase to
reduce my PMDD symptoms, I needto do it every day.
When I give myself a break,that's when the PMDD symptoms
come rushing in.
So it's like I no longer getthe reduction in my PMDD
(33:20):
symptoms and, yes, I can take abreak, but it causes me to
suffer even more by taking thosethings out of my morning
routine or out of my dailyroutine.
So I would say whatever it isthat you choose out of these
four things, just do it, andjust do it daily in your luteal
phase.
If you want to switch it up inyour follicular phase and
ovulation, have at it, becauseyou're going to have the energy
(33:41):
to do it.
You're not going to besuffering with PMDDs, so do what
you want.
But I would say it's reallygoing to help you and I would
communicate this to your PMDDpartner and see if they can
somehow be integrated with theactivity that you choose off of
this episode.
Because when you start toassociate your reduction in PMDD
symptoms with your partner,your symptoms get better, versus
(34:02):
thinking that the reason whyyou're suffering in PMDD is your
partner.
Your relationship gets worse.
So don't just do this on yourown and keep it to yourself.
Really talk to your PMDDpartner and say, hey, this is
something that I'm thinkingabout doing, okay, so I would
say the walk.
Just figure out a time you canpause this and really think
about it.
Figure out a time that you wantto do your daily walk and
(34:23):
commit to that.
The next thing that has helpedme and this may not be your
thing, because I have a lot offriends that is not there and
traveling has really helped mereduce my PMDD symptoms because
I used to travel every now andagain.
It used to be a very sporadicthing and I noticed on the
months that I traveled I hadless PMDD symptoms.
(34:45):
The impact was less.
Again, I still experienced them, but the impact was less
because you know why.
I was distracted.
I kind of broke my routinesthat I was doing the negative
patterns that I had, so I didn'tjust wake up out of my same bed
doing the same things.
So the first way that itimpacted me was it disrupted the
negative patterns that I have.
(35:06):
So PMDD makes you feeloverwhelming when you're stuck
in the same environment.
You're the same routines doingthe same things.
Traveling helps me distractmyself but by looking at this
fresh perspective and itdisrupted the cycle of stress.
Like I got to explore newplaces, I got to like do
different things, I got to focuson positive experiences that
(35:26):
brought me joy and ultimately itreduced my stress.
Like, granted, the airports arehard because if you have
sensitivity to noise, misophonia, the airports are hard because
they're loud and they're kind oftriggering.
But if you can get past that,like the payoff from traveling
(35:47):
has been amazing for me.
It has made me feel like I'mnot so debilitated, like I'm
this broken bird that can't docertain things Like I, felt so
powerful, being able to travel,and that's one of my loves and
it's something that I love to doin my follicular phase.
So the fact that I plugged itinto my luteal phase made me
(36:07):
feel like, oh, you can do this.
It boosted my mood, it boostedmy confidence exploring new
places, new cultures, new food,new activities.
I was so engulfed in what I wasdoing.
I was so immersed in the thingsthat I was doing that I wasn't
so focused on my PMDD symptoms.
Another thing that it did wasit provided physical movement.
(36:28):
Every time that I travel, Igenuinely walk more than I
normally do and it reduced mysymptoms of irritability,
fatigue, like when I got intothose places of fatigue, like I.
You know, I didn't feel astired if I was already on the
move, especially if I hadplanned like excursions and I
had places to go.
And the next thing it did, Igot that social connection I
(36:50):
would always try to go to anevent or go to like a meetup
group or something, wherever Iwas traveling, and it helped me
to focus not so much on PMDD butmore into the things that I
love.
So I would say, for traveling,if you can't travel.
I would say you can pair thison focus on three things that
you love to do and focus onplugging that in on a weekly, on
a monthly basis.
I would prefer a weekly basisbecause, like I started dancing,
(37:13):
like going to salsa dancing,bachata dancing, all of the
things to just give me a break,give me an excuse to get dressed
up, and all the things whichI'll get into the next one.
It gave me a reason to do thesethings.
That made me feel good, versusI just decide to do them on my
own, okay.
The next thing is, um the thegetting dressed up.
(37:38):
I love, love, love gettingdressed up when I'm in PMDD,
because when you're in PMDD,internally you can feel like a
piece of crap, right, you canfeel like, oh, I can't do this,
I'm so fatigued.
I'm so when I, when I starteddating this is how I discovered
it I discovered it because Istarted dating and when I
started dating, I had to getdressed up.
(38:01):
So I was always in this placeof like, oh, I got to get
dressed up for this and Inoticed there was a really big
boost in my self-esteem and myself-confidence and my mood,
because I would always getdressed to listening to music
and then I would just feel good.
I would put on some music thatfelt good to me for the moment.
Every day would be different.
I would go from country to EDM,to pop music, to R&B Whatever
(38:25):
mood that I was feeling, I wouldput that music on and I would
get an immediate dopaminerelease.
So the act of getting ready andfocusing on self-care it's
rewarding because you get thedopamine, which is a feel-good
chemical in the brain.
It improves the mood and itreduces irritability, and I saw
this 100%.
My daughter would say you lookso happy when you're getting
(38:46):
ready to go on a date.
She would almost ask me hey,are you going on a date?
Because she would know, likewhen I was getting dressed, that
like, oh, she's going to be inthis happy mood Because even if
I didn't feel like it and therewould be moments where I didn't
feel like it, I would like turnthe shower on, and then I ended
up moving.
My daughter got me an upgradedI don't want to say the name,
but an upgraded product thatstreams music, because if I say
(39:09):
the name, it's going to activateright now.
But she bought me an upgradedone.
So I have one in the bathroomand one in the living room, one
in my room.
So every single time that I'mgoing to get ready, I'm putting
on the music that makes me feelgood, I'm putting on my makeup,
I'm getting dressed, I'm lookinggood and it literally breaks
the cycle of isolation.
It breaks the cycle ofisolation.
(39:30):
I know that I'm going to go out.
I'm going to go out aroundother people.
It's a literal mental reset.
Even though I'm in PMDD, I wasfeeling good about myself and I
had so much joy and it just mademe so happy and it wasn't
because I was not out of PMDD.
So a lot of you who follow me, alot of you who follow me on
(39:51):
social media, they're like oh mygosh, do you even still have
PMDD or how are you feeling?
Because I spent the majority ofmy journey vlogging all of my
PMDD symptoms and I noticed thatwhat you speak, the words that
you say out of your mouth, orwhat you're giving life to, or
what you're magnifying and therewere so many other aspects of
my life that I could magnifythat had nothing to do with PMDD
(40:13):
that I started to lean into.
Was I still having PMDDsymptoms, yes, and it was almost
like cyclical.
If you've been following me fora while, you know that I have.
My main symptoms, I will say, inPMDD are anxiety first thing in
the morning, depression I willget it late at night,
specifically if I'm lonely.
Sensitivity to noise that'spretty much all day.
I have a train that lives, thatoperates next to me, so
(40:37):
whenever I'm walking my dog, leolike I hear the train and it
sounds like 10 times louderNight sweats.
I've already told you aboutBrain fog really confused,
really overwhelmed, reallystressed.
These are the things that ishelping me.
So I'm still experiencing PMDDsymptoms.
I just want to say that becauseI sound happy, I look happy, I
(40:59):
feel different, I look different.
I've had people, even peoplethat don't even know that I have
PMDD have called me over theholiday and they're like I've
never seen you this happy and Idon't want anyone to ever think
that it's because I broke upwith my ex PMDD partner.
That's not the thing, it's whatI added in after we broke up.
So I don't want you to getconfused and be like I want to
(41:20):
be happy, like Dr Rose, so Ineed to dump my partner.
No, dumping, my partner was notthe catalyst for any of this.
It was literally what I choseto do with my life.
After I was in that place whereeverything got stripped away
from me by my own decision, Iwill say, like nobody did this
to me, I decided, but then I waslike left with this, like blank
(41:41):
slate of like what is going onwith my life?
What kind of life do I want tolive?
And these are the things that Idecided to add to it.
So the fourth thing, the verylast thing, the most impactful
thing you know how they say,save the best for last is raving
, dancing, going to festivals.
Edm music is electric dancemusic.
I know I keep saying EDM, butit's something that has brought
(42:06):
me joy for many years.
That I honestly took out of myprevious relationship, as I've
stated, for multiple reasons.
But when I brought it back, itwas literally like coming home
to myself so much that I reallywanted to research, like why is
raving so good for me?
Like why do I feel so muchbetter?
(42:26):
To the fact that I went lastmonth, in December, and I didn't
.
I don't remember PMDD.
I don't remember I was doingthese four things.
So that's why I because Ijournal every day.
So I wanted to bring you all thedata.
I don't remember, like, becauseI remember having fun all of
December of 2024.
I had fun, I had joy, I feltgreat and I can't tell you where
(42:51):
my cycle began and ended,because I gave myself that break
of like vlogging, like day oneof PMDD, day two, like I didn't
do that and I don't.
I remember feeling fatigue butlike that's the biggest symptom
that I would say.
That really like made me likeHmm, I must be in PMDD, but I
didn't really.
I was like, okay, well, I justslept more, like it was no big
(43:12):
deal for me.
So I wanted to go over whyraving and again raving is an
acquired taste.
It's not for everybody.
Everybody doesn't love to do it.
I love to do it and I've lovedto do it since 2010 when I went
to my first EDC.
My 2010, when I went to myfirst EDC my electric dance
carnival and I was living inMiami, florida.
(43:36):
I went to it and I had anamazing time and then I got.
I remember I got in arelationship and then I didn't
do it again because any likeraving and going to these
festivals and being inrelationships, I think that you
have to be compatible withsomeone who equally raves,
because otherwise your partnercan uh, insecure partner,
anxious partner or even avoidantpartner can get really like
triggered by you going to thesefestivals and I never wanted to
(43:58):
do an activity that triggered mypartner.
So, moving forward, when itcame to dating, I'm like is it
possible for me to like date afellow raver?
Because I see couples that ravetogether, like they go to the
rave and they're like dancingtogether, they're having fun
together, cause, like raving isthe long time Like when you go
to these festivals like the lastone I went to for new year's
(44:18):
was 4 PM to 4 AM, like it's 12hours of like straight dancing,
like music, and I know this thestigma is that you have to do
drugs or both.
I didn't do any drugs.
I literally I love dancing, Ilove being in the vibe of music
and there's several artists thatgo to these raves.
(44:39):
But I'm going to tell you howit improved my PMDD symptoms.
Number one reason was therelease of endorphins.
So dancing for hours and hoursand hours to energetic music, it
triggers the release ofendorphins.
I remember the one time thatTony Robbins said,
scientifically, you cannot bedepressed and be dancing, and I
literally thought about that andI was like you're so right,
like your brain won't allow youto do it, like you cannot be in
(45:02):
a mode of dancing and movingaround in your body, whatever
that looks like Like I feel likethere's so many stipulations to
dancing and it's like I don'tknow how to dance.
It's like move your body,there's no right way to do it,
and that's why I love raving,like going to rave festivals,
because no one is looking atlike because I've done salsa,
I've done bachata, I've donemerengue, I've done all Around.
(45:30):
The summertime I started to do alot of salsa and bachata and go
to the dance clubs, but it wasvery structured.
It was very like one, two,three, one, two, three, and I'm
just like yeah, this is not forme, not for me, like, but I
still loved it because I wasstill moving my body.
But I just loved it when theyallowed us to do the free dance.
So that's how I kind of likewent into the realm of raving,
(45:51):
because I was like I still wantto dance, but I want to do it in
a way that, like makes me feelfree.
I want to do it like I'm in mybathroom or in my bedroom, just
like flailing around, dancing,listening to music and moving.
However, I want to move and sothe next thing that the raving
did for my PMDD symptoms it hascreated a sense of belonging,
like this community of ravers,like one of the most impactful
(46:13):
compliments that I've gottenwhen I've been raving is like I
love your vibe, I love yourenergy.
It's not about what youphysically look like, it's not
about you being in this specificthing.
They're so inclusive.
Everybody is welcome, everybodyloves you.
Everybody's just trying to justhave a good time and just love.
(46:36):
I love it, I love it.
I love it.
I love it Because there's nojudgment.
You can literally show up.
They have people showing up inonesies.
They have people showing upwith gothic stuff.
There's such a wide spectrum.
So what I've noticed peopleshowing up with gothic stuff,
like there's such a widespectrum.
So what I've noticed?
I ended up getting nosepiercings, which I didn't have
before.
I got a septum and a nosepiercing.
I ended up wearing chains Ithink you can hear them right
(46:58):
now like I ended up wearingleather pants.
Like I got to know my true vibefrom going to these things,
because it's such a level ofexpression.
I was like what am I gonna wear?
And when I really leaned intoit, I got to like lean into the
core of like how I felt and Ifelt like a really good person.
Like I felt amazing living inthat vibe and sharing the
(47:21):
different musics.
Like there's so many differentkinds of music that are plays,
that rave, and you can literallyjust like lean into whatever
resonates with you and even ifit's not your favorite song,
you're still dancing around andthere's still this amazing
community that is supporting you.
And the next thing it did wasum, so that was like the
emotional expression.
Like if you have rage, if youwant to like freaking yell and
(47:42):
scream, there's people that arewilling to do that and they're
doing that in the songs and noone freaking cares.
If you're dealing with that inPMDD and you go to a rave and
you freaking scream your ballsout like I, no one cares.
Like you can scream your lungsout, not your balls out, sorry,
you can scream your lungs out,no one's gonna care.
They're just gonna be like,yeah, they're gonna like cheer
you on.
It's like going to a musicalrage room.
(48:03):
Right, and I know you've all,if you have PMDD rage, you
thought about going to a rageroom.
You're like, oh my gosh, that'son my like bucket list.
So the next thing it did is Ihad this level of like
mindfulness when I had, likethese ruminating thoughts about
things, specifically aboutdating, when I went to the rave.
I was not thinking about that.
It literally gave me a breakfrom the overthinking.
(48:24):
But what about this?
And what about?
I wasn't thinking aboutanything like.
I wasn't thinking about Like, Iwasn't thinking about that, I
wasn't thinking about thatperson, I wasn't thinking about
that situation.
Um, and then also, it reduced mybloating.
I had experienced a lot ofbloating from like allowing
myself to like eat anything thatI wanted and I was like, okay
with it.
It was like kind of like youknow what your body responds to
(48:44):
and you know that.
I hope you know thatinflammation during PMDD makes
your symptoms worse.
When your body is inflamed frombloating, it makes your
symptoms worse.
So I would say, like, whateverphysical exercise you do, lean
it into something that's goingto reduce the bloating, which
the dancing definitely did.
One time I think it was NewYear's Day I had 20,423 steps
(49:07):
and that was literally from thedancing.
20,423 steps and that wasliterally from the dancing and
that's when I got like the boostof dopamine, which is like
you're getting something done,and the boost of serotonin.
And these are the things thatdopamine and serotonin levels
are normally really low withindividuals who have
premenstrual dysphoric disorder,but the uplifting, repetitive
beats at race it enhances thoseeffects, so it leaves you more
(49:28):
positive and energized and itincreases those levels that are
being dragged down by PMDD.
So think of it as like PMDD isdragging your dopamine and
serotonin levels down and you'rebuilding it back up by dancing
and raving.
So that's what I mean by theactions that you take are going
to be the thing that impact yourPMDD symptoms, not just sitting
back and be like, oh, I guessthis is how my life is.
(49:48):
No, these things were allphysical acts and then, honestly
, it just made me more positive.
I was so proud of myself forstepping out of my comfort zone
and going back to something thatI genuinely loved that I had
taken away, and I just feltproud of myself.
I felt happy with the communitythat I had.
(50:09):
I even have friends that aren'trapers and they're just like I
can't believe this side of youand I.
Just my PMDD symptoms were verydrastically reduced, they were
not eliminated.
So that's like my disclaimer,like this did not eliminate my
PMDD symptoms, but it diddramatically reduce them.
So I would say your homework forthis episode is to go and just
(50:29):
think about four things that youcan do in the same category
that literally fit well with you.
It could be watching a Netflixseries, it could be walking your
dog Whatever it is justsomething that brings you joy.
And start implementing thosethings into your daily and your
weekly and your monthly life toreduce your PMDD symptoms.
So I'm exposing everything toyou just so, if you see me, you
(50:52):
know why I'm more happy.
I even sound like more upbeaton the podcast and I just want
you to just understand where I'mcoming from.
Where it's coming from, becauseI've followed people for so long
and I've just seen a transition, but they've not really given
me the goods.
They haven't really told me,like, what's the secret sauce?
Like, what are you doing?
So I am giving you the secretsauce so that you can create
(51:13):
this specifically for you, andif this is something that you
need to like, I need someone tohelp me do this.
I need someone to map this outfor me.
This is something that we cando in one session.
So go to the link that's in theshow notes or go to
inlovewithpmddcom, and we can doa strategy session where we can
just get this Literally.
I can map out what your fourthings are that you should be
(51:33):
doing on a monthly and or weeklydaily basis in your luteal
phase for your premenstrualdisorder symptoms.
We got this.
Until next time, love you.
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