24 Ash talks about asking for help, De Quervain's Syndrome and matrescence

In this week’s episode Ash shares her parenthood journey and reflects on adventures with her partner Owen and their son Remy.

Ash and Owen’s love story has seen them journey across the globe. They were living in New Zealand when they found out that they were pregnant. Ash speaks so beautifully about this time – the sheer excitement, and the unexpected intensity of the need to nest.

At 22 weeks, Ash and Owen arrived back in Australia, after deciding to move back to the community they had created in Darwin. It was in Darwin that Ash birthed Remy at home in their living room in a water birth that felt like the perfect fit for their family. 

Ash speaks openly and honestly about feelings of anxiety in her pregnancy, and the intensity of the postpartum period. 

'It was just an incredible experience. One I will never forget…that birth and the intensity of it. And the intensity of that period afterwards, getting straight into the nitty gritty of motherhood. The demands of that period. Physically and mentally... I didn’t know how to ask for help. I didn’t know that I needed help either.'

At around four months postpartum, Ash developed De Quervain's Syndrome. De Quervain’s Syndrome occurs when the tendons around the base of the thumb are irritated and constricted. It is associated with repetitive movements, like picking up a baby. 

‘I couldn’t even hold a spoon without pain, let alone holding Remy… I was told do not pick up your baby, as if that was even an option for me… I called my Mum in tears... She got on a red eye flight... She was literally my hands for two weeks.'

Ash speaks with such warmth and generosity about the different types of support all newborn families need – emotionally and physically. Even with a village around her, Ash shares that she found it really challenging to realise that she deserved help. We talk about postpartum planning, the importance of a kinship network, the intense transformation that is matrescence, and asking for the help we want and need.

Ash speaks about learning about matrescence from the amazing Amanda. You can connect with Amanda @ourfourthtrimester

It was such an honour to listen to Ash’s story. You can see photos of Ash and her gorgeous family on Instagram @kinbycharlotte and over at the In Your Own Kin website.