September 11, 2025 • 34 mins
On this episode of the podcast we are giving you a sneak peak at our Transformation Tuesday webinar.
This week we talk about motivation, goals and dopamine hijacking.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:00):
Gib.
(00:07):
Hello and welcome to anotherepisode of the podcast. I'm Gib
Gerard. Today we are giving alittle sneak peek into what we
call transformation Tuesday.
That is a live webinar that wedo once a week on Tuesdays,
we'll take questions. We puttogether all kinds of
information with experts that wequote regularly on the radio
show. We bring some of theirclips to you, and we live DJ
(00:28):
them for you. You can find outmore about transformation
tuesday@tesh.com but hereis this week's transformation
Tuesday without further ado. Meand John Tesh, good morning and
welcome totransformation. Tuesday, one of
our favorite days of the week. Ilove I do too, if I'm ever, if
(00:49):
I've ever had aconvoluted weekend. I mean, how
many games did you referee thisweekend? I only Reft. I ended up
roughing. Well, sort of two,three and a half, three and a
half games. How do you remembera half a game? What happened
was, it was I did on Saturday, Idid Club Games, and on Sunday, I
(01:11):
did a yso games. And onSaturday, one of the club games,
the other team didn't haveenough players to start the game
on time, and I had to go acrosstown to ref a different game. So
when they when you get past acertain point, we can no longer
call the game a real game. So weended up doing was one of the
refs didn't bury in the weeds.
(01:34):
He stayed and ref the scrimmagefor them. And I Aard, which is
the linesman for half of thegame. And then I went across
town and did the Culver Citygame. All right, okay, yes, and
you're plugged into the rightpodcast.
This is, you the youth soccerpodcast. He's a guy I follow who
has one ayouth soccer podcast. His name
is, he's gonna handle onInstagram and Tiktok. It's refs
(01:56):
need love too. And he it'sfantastic if you're into youth
sports, reffing, particularlysoccer repping. He does. He does
like he'll do, you know, he'lltake game footage from
professional games, from kidsgames, and kind of break down
what the reps calls are. Hetalks about, like, you know,
sideline behavior, how to managethat. And, yeah, it's, it's a
(02:17):
wonderful niche, and he can'twait to sign up for that. I love
it.
Hey everybody, welcome totransformation Tuesdays. Those
of you who are are new. This isit. Could be transformation
Wednesday or transmissionFriday, but we like the TT
(02:38):
alliteration on there.
Alliteration, yes. And so wayout Wednesday, where we talk
about the weirdest way. Way outWednesday, yeah, I'm back from a
from a trip to Nashville andNorth Carolina. We could talk
about that a little bit later,if we have, if we have time.
These are two places where I wasa news reporter and an anchor
person and and man talk aboutclimbing a tall tree and looking
(03:00):
around and looking back at yourlife and and seeing what you've
done or not done and how fastlife is going. Good grief, if
you want, if you wantencouragement to hurry up and
and live your life, you couldjust talk to me about it,
because it's I word. It was, youknow? Well, I'll tell you about
it later, but it was, it wasanywhere between 51 and 53 years
(03:23):
ago. Unbelievable that I was ineither one of these cities
anchoring the news and and, yes,a lot has changed. A lot a lot
of people aretaught, and I think, I don't
think you'll be surprised bythis, but the you know, I love
going into master control andtalking to the to the guys there
and and they say that a goodportion of their newscasts,
(03:45):
their clips, their news clips,is now people get their news on
tick tock. Oh yeah, yeah. So Ialways thought tick tock was
just goofy and for dancing andstuff like that, but they put
their news clips on tick tock,yeah. That's how a lot of people
get their news. Oh yeah. Theother thing is happening, this
is probably for another day, isthat I'm now being fooled by AI
where they're they're puttingwords in Jordan Peterson's
(04:08):
mouth. They're putting words inJoe Rogan's mouth and and I
guess I'm getting to the pointwhere I can spot it a little
bit. But, you know, Paul McCartis showing up in in in the
hospital with Phil Collins, andit wasn't really Paul McCartney.
So I can't imagine where this isgoing. Yeah, we're headed down a
weird rabbit hole. There is athing which I think is
(04:29):
interesting, which is thebusiness model for AI right now.
It's very expensive to operate,and there's not a lot of revenue
stream. So it's very much likethe.com boom in the early 2000
Sure, yeah. So I have a feelingthat we're going to see a
reorganization of AI in, like,in the next couple of years.
Yeah, I can't wait to see whatthat looks like. I'm just gonna
(04:50):
just kind of hide until thathappens.
So, because this istransformation Tuesday, and this
could be a revelation.
For you. We're going to startwith one of our favorite guys,
and Andrew Huberman. And I lovewhat he has to say here about
the hewants to talk about the habits
(05:10):
that is going to that coulddestroy us. And it has to do
with with with dopamine, anddopamine is, is produced Gib,
when we have it could beproduced by by finishing a race.
It can be produced by having,you know, someone from the
(05:30):
opposite sex actually look atyou when you're interested in
them, not really, I mean. Or itcould be the ding on your on
your phone. Yes, it's a reward.
It's the reward chemical, right,right? So the best way to get
dopamine is for you to do a longterm task and then finish it and
and have it be successful. Butwhat we've what has happened is
(05:55):
everything is hijacked to giveus dopamine whenever we whenever
we want it, like it's, it's yourphone gives you dopamine, your
your notifications give youdopamine. It is, it is taking
us, taking our brains over in areally negative way. And a
perfect example of the wrong wayto get dopamine
is to have a glass of wine, orto have take a drug or something
(06:17):
like that, and you get and youget a good feeling, and then you
do it again, and or I takeoxytocin, or, like, you know,
Vicodin, or something like that.
And then you have to have more aweek a week later, and more and
more and more. And we have, we Iactually have a friend who has a
back problem who is up to, like,30 pills a day, you know,
(06:41):
whereas one pill a day wouldhave done, yeah, okay, a year
ago. So here's Huberman talkingabout something very important
that we have to keep our eye on,and that is where we're getting
our dopamine, and how, why? Ifwe don't control it, we could
really end up in trouble. Hereyou go, any high amount of
dopamine that comes to youwithout effort before it will
(07:03):
eventually destroy you, wow, orbring you close to destruction.
So something that just feels sogood that you all you had to do
is open a package. All you hadto do was take a pill or open a
website, or open a website. Thatis the slippery slope. Dopamine
is not about the pursuit ofpleasure. It's about the
pleasure of pursuit. It's aboutmotivation. The other thing to
(07:25):
remember about dopamine is itcan, if it's increased very
dramatically and very fast, itcan drive addiction. And I
define addiction as aprogressive narrowing of the
things that bring you pleasure.
A great life is where many, manythings bring you pleasure.
Children of very wealthy peopleoften destroy their lives. You
know, they destroy their livesbecause they haven't had to work
(07:46):
to have all this stuff andthere's this huge cushion below
them.
Yeah. I mean, look, we, we'vetalked about a lot of that stuff
before, but this idea thatthat what feels good in our
brain in the short term is goodfor us. It really does lead you
down a path of destruction. Itdoes lead you down a path of
(08:07):
addiction. This is why, when wetalk about digital minimalism
and things like that, like CalNewport has that great book
digital minimalism, and it youknow, where you really need to
begin to remove the dopaminestimulators from your phone.
Phones are a fantastic tool.
Phones allow you to stay, youknow, stay connected across
(08:29):
1000s of miles. Allow you tostay connected, you know, and do
things out of the office thatyou used to require an entire
computer. I mean, the phone inyour pocket, very likely, if you
have a smartphone, has morecomputing power than any than
the entire entire missiledefense system did in the in the
early 80s. It is an incrediblypowerful tool that we can use
(08:49):
for so many positive things. Butwhat has happened is the
attention economy has caused itto hijack our attention and for
a small number of people to makea lot of money and and in that
process, we've kind of lost ourconnection to real, connected
dopamine. And what that howimportant that is for our, for
our, our, our overall mentalhealth. So he's absolutely
(09:13):
right. You know, he's talkingabout the children of rich
people. And I think for forseveral decades, we sort of
thought of them as dilettantesand, and because they nothing
could stimulate the dopaminethat they could get, you know,
with, with, just by spendingtheir their family's money. But
now we are, we are alldilettantes with our phones. We
are all create. We're all DickieGreenleaf from
(09:34):
Talented Mr. Ripley. We are alljust kind of wandering through
life looking at our phoneinstead of having any kind of
any kind of real direction, andit removes the connection
between effort and pleasure in away that is really hard to get
back. So when we talk aboutdigital minimalism, you make
your phone black and white,right? Because the colors and
the stimulating colors andsounds help with the dopamine
(09:56):
addiction. You remove the appsthat aren't productive based,
you know, the.
Move the pleasure ones, theInstagrams and things like that,
and you go back to reading yournews. You go back to reading
your information, because thenews is packaged. Information is
packaged in a way that ispleasing. You mentioned that
your old news station puts theirstuff on Tiktok, and that's
(10:16):
that's great. It's a great wayto get it out there, and I
absolutely respect that part ofit. But if you're getting your
news primarily, your newsprimarily from Tiktok, I think
you're making a mistake in howyou approach your information
consumption. Yeah. And whatwe're seeing now too is that,
because it's so easy to to getto get pornography, right, yes.
And I mean that by a kid who'salone with a computer of any age
(10:39):
he could end up, he she couldend up on a pornographic site.
And so there are, it's, it's afascinating I read a thing, I
believe it was in Vanity Fairabout how now women, young
women, having a really hard timedating because, because men who
(10:59):
are who have grown up in thisdigital age, and some of them
who have been on pornographysites, they they have eliminated
first, second, third and fourthbase, right? They've gone all
the way through all of the allthe bases. So they show up for a
date and they buy a woman dinneror a drink or whatever, and
(11:21):
immediately they're, they'relike, being inappropriate and
and looking for a kiss, lookingfor more. And women are like,
What the heck is going on now?
It's because, is because menhave been all their dopamine is
gone, right, right? And they'reand they feel like this is the
this is, this is just a naturalorder of things. It's really
(11:45):
dangerous place to be. But ifyou can, if you can figure out
those of us who are, who areadults, are not dealing with
this, if you can, if you canfigure out where your dopamine
is coming from. So given I'vetalked many times before about
about how we can see each otherin each other when we've worked
out. Yeah, right. And so you,you come in, and I don't care,
(12:05):
it could be 15 minutes, it couldbe 30 minutes, it could be more
it could be 10 minutes, it couldbe just a couple of sprints, or
something like that. That'swhere that's dopamine. And so
when you come into your tasksfor the day, even when you're
just driving to work, if youafter you've done that, talk
about people like, oh my gosh,I'm so grumpy I missed my
workout. That's because youdidn't get a real honest
dopamine squirt in the morning,right? Yeah. So this goes back
(12:29):
so, you know, piggybacking whatyou said, so the
pornography does hijack yourdopamine,
the so many different things,you know, that's that's just one
really glaring example. And italso, to your point, it creates
a transactional relationshipwith sex. That is, that it's
hurting it's hurtingrelationships. It's leading to
all kinds of other healthproblems around, you know,
(12:50):
sexual function in young andyoung adults now. So there are
kind all kinds of consequencesto that, which is one of the
reasons why we talk about doingeven getting small wins going in
the morning, like making yourbed. And the cool thing about
making your bed versus checkingyour phone first thing in the
morning is that you have, youbegin to rewire your dopamine
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back to what it's supposed tobe, which is you get a you get a
squirt of dopamine as a rewardfor a little bit of effort. And
that making your bed is a greatway to do that. Not only is it
nice, not only does it, youknow, we there's that whole
Admiral McRaven thing that we'vementioned before, but a little
bit of the neuroscience behindit is that you actually start to
rewire your brain, or get yourbrain re primed to associate
(13:37):
dopamine, the pleasure ofdopamine, with the completion of
tasks, and it's why I like whywe like handwritten to do lists.
It's why we like writing stuffdown. All of that adds to
rewiring the brain versus thesmorgasbord of dopamine that's
available on your phone. Allright, so Simon Sinek is
another,another great productivity
expert who I love listening to.
(14:00):
Found a piece this morning ofhim talking about the secret
that creates changes. Guy,compared the top five tennis
players. Do you know about this?
Compared the top five tennisplayers from the top 25 tennis
players? So what makes the topfive so much better than all the
others? And he goes through thelist. Is it their diet?
(14:25):
By the way? I want, I want toset this up again. It's the
secret that creates champions. Ijust, I just, I need to get
these classes changed, because Ithink that's important for you
not to be looking for thechanges. It's a secret that
change that creates champions.
All right. You ready? Here wego.
Guy, compared the top fivetennis players. Do you know
(14:48):
about this? Compared the topfive tennis players from the top
25 tennis players? So what makesthe top five so much better than
all the others? And he goesthrough the list. Is it their
diet? Is it their CO.
Coaching? Is it their workethic? No, no. They all have
that, right? And he literallygoes through all the lists of
what it could be, and it's noneof those things. The one thing
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that the top five have that theothers don't
is, is that when they score apoint, they go, that's fun. I
love this I love this game. Whenthey miss a point, they go like,
Oh, I missed that one, but waittill you see what I do on the
next one. And there's sort of ajoy and love of what they're
doing and and a success orfailure their mindset in the
(15:30):
moment.
This, by the way, Gib is how Igot over stage fright at playing
piano on stage where the coachthat I was working with for a
couple of years John, dr, JohnHart. He's his whole thing was,
you know, what are you going todo when, when you when you fail,
when you make them, make amistake? Are you just going to
freak out and you ruin the restof the song? What's, what's your
(15:52):
technique going to be? And sowhat? Without going through the
whole process, what he basicallysaid was, just smile and look at
the audience and shrug yourshoulders and move on. And so
it's almost like, I, you know,it's so great to be up here with
you guys, but this is not goingto be there's not going to be
perfect, you know. Now it'sprobably different if you're at
(16:15):
the Hollywood Bowl and you'rewith the giant orchestra or
something like that. I there'ssuch a marked difference between
when you have your band andyou're, yeah, over is when
you're playing with an argument,right, right? Exactly. The other
thing, and I have done thisbefore too, is that
it's harder for some of thesemusicians who, I mean, somebody
like Billy Joel or Elton John orsting, or any of those guys,
(16:36):
where some of them have, I won'tmention which ones, but they'll
have a teleprompter on stagewith the lyrics of their songs,
because they're doing so much byplaying, and if all of a sudden
they go up on a word, orwhatever, they miss a word, or
everybody who's singing along,here's that Frank Sinatra
famously used a used to use ateleprompter. So with me, if I
(16:59):
make a mistake. Not everybodyknows all of my my songs, but
they know that the feeling thatthey're getting, hopefully, from
what I'm playing, but if I hit awrong note, and I mean, it
sounds like a joke, becauseyou're always like, Oh, you make
a mistake. And just do it again.
Because then it's a jazz youknow, and as long as it's a,
it's a, it's a mistake withinthe scale, path within what the
song is doing. You just do itagain, you know. And I do that
(17:23):
all the time, and then, and thenI have to say, Isn't this great?
Isn't this great? I'm up here onstage and this and this
happened, and here we go. We'regonna keep we're gonna keep
going. This is, look,this is where your self
consciousness is holding youback. This is self consciousness
is great to help you fit into agroup, but we spend so much time
in our self consciousness. Wethink that people are viewing us
(17:46):
through a certain lens. We thinkthat they are viewing us as
critically as we view ourselves.
And so then we amplify our selfcriticism. Oh, I mean, I see my
daughter do it all the time. Youknow, she's 13. She's brilliant
at all these different things,and she's always, she's always
caveating what she's doing.
Yeah, I tried this. I don'tknow. I don't really like it. I
did the shading is bad, orwhatever, or I wrote this essay,
(18:06):
and I feel like I didn't doenough with the metaphor, or
whatever, whatever the thing is,she's always couching it because
her self consciousness. Andadolescence is a time of extreme
self consciousness, and mymiddle daughter starting to do
it. She had a great game ofsoccer. She's playing, she's
going back and playing rec, andshe scored a bunch of goals.
She's not normally a goalscorer. She's a winger and and,
and she was downplaying it anddownplaying it. Both of my
(18:29):
daughters are just there at thatadolescent age where they are
trained to downplay it. And allof us have gone through that
period. You've gone through theperiod where you know you
downplay your successes and youelevate yourself criticisms,
because you think that's whatwhat the world around you is
going to respond to. And what wedo when we do that is we tell
ourselves a narrative that weare not successful. We tell
(18:49):
ourselves a narrative that thatbecomes our reality. We begin to
accentuate our negatives anddownplay our positives, and we
need to get in the habit ofcelebrating even our small wins.
And part of, part of theenjoyment that comes with being
on stage is you celebrate now.
You celebrate even some of yourmistakes as your ability to
(19:10):
overcome them. You find thingsto celebrate, and that begets
more confidence and begets moresuccesses. So when you're trying
on whatever path you're on, somuch of us go, oh, here are all
the reasons why it can't work.
And that's what a smart, cynicalperson is going to emphasize. We
are the here are the here arewhere the pitfalls are, and
that's an important thing tohave on a team. It's an
important thing to do. I'm notdownplaying that. But what
(19:31):
happens is, when we get thesmall wins, we get that meeting
with the person, when we signour first client, when we sign
whatever, the thing is, wedownplay it so much that we
actually don't give ourselvesthe full dopamine reward. It's
actually going to help uscontinue and get the small task
and the small wins that aregoing to get us over the hump on
our big project and our biggoals. And what he's talking
(19:52):
about there is you have to getin the habit of celebrating the
joy of of success. Celebrate thejoy.
A failure, and that is the thingthat's going to move you
forward. Our self criticism isholding us back from being able
to do that. It's interestingthat he would, he would say
that, to say this now, becausewe're, I've been watching some
of the US Open Tennis, andthere's just been some horrible
(20:15):
behavior this year. You know,people calling each other, I
mean, terrible names and and,you know,
remember back in the day, backin the early 80s when and I was
standing there watching it onthe sideline, because I worked
for CBS, who was covering it,and, and John McEnroe screaming
at Ball people who were like,you know, like 14 years old, you
(20:40):
know. And you're thinking, thisguy does not enjoy the game, and
so, and then when, I guess somepeople feel like they feed on
that, but nobody wants to bearound that, no, and it can't be
good for you. No. I mean, lookagain, I did the Mac and Rose of
the world. Are we? We rememberthem because of their of their
(21:01):
difference. But so many of usrespond much more to and so many
more successful people find thejoy in each thing, sometimes a
pathological joy. I mean, youknow, you find this, not to call
out one profession, but you'llfind this in some attorneys,
where they don't, they don'treally love even the law, and
what they love is using the lawto completely break down the
(21:21):
other side, and it becomespathological, and honestly, they
are rewarded for it. I don'twant you to be pathological. I
don't want you to be like that.
I want you to be happy. Butfinding that way of celebrating
your success is finding thatthing that makes you, you know,
come alive in the pursuit andrewarding yourself accordingly
is the only way you will get tothe place you want to be. Yeah,
(21:42):
I love it. We're gonna doquestions in just a minute, but
I want to share one more piecefrom from Andrew Huberman about
how important it is these daysto find some time, any time
during the day, to calm yourmind. Here we go. Learn to calm
your mind. Right? Your mind isgonna spool. Nobody has a mind
(22:03):
that's calm all the time andfocused when they want it to be
and falls asleep perfectly everynight. Nobody gets that. No
human being gets that. Okay, soyou have to put some work into
it. That involves doing maybeit's five minutes of meditation
a day. I'm a big believer inprayer. I think that combines a
number, if not all of thefeatures of the things that we
hear about, like meditation andall these other things, into a
(22:24):
practice that, if you spend sometime with it, I think it can be
very useful. Okay, I'm not hereto push that. I just know that
to be true. So get yourphysiology right, and the rest
will start falling into place.
And you know, the onlineculture, my podcast, your
podcast, Rogan podcast and otherpodcasts, is replete with
(22:45):
information about how toexercise, right, how to eat,
right, how to do all thesethings, building your social
connections, which are alsovitally important, but if you're
not getting your physiologyright, the rest isn't going to
work.
So true. It doesn't take thatmuch either. Look, download.
There's centering prayer appI've mentioned before. There's
(23:06):
calm headspace. These are sortof agnostic
apps that focus on meditation,focus and just get in the habit.
Try it. Try focusing quietly andnot allowing your your brain to
ruminate for just five minutes aday. If you're not in the habit
of doing that, if you're not inthe habit of praying or
(23:26):
meditating for five minutes aday, you will be shocked.
15 and you're, you're you're inlike this, this top 5% of people
in your ability to focus. It'sunreal. How much mental like,
(23:47):
how much, how difficult that ismentally to be able to do it,
but how important that isfundamentally. And we talked,
you talk about, and if you canget good at that, by the way,
you can unlock a lot of thepositive visualization that we
were talking about previouslyand earlier today. You know, you
talk about watching the skiers.
We talked about the tennisplayers celebrating themselves,
but you talk about watching theskiers in the in the starting
(24:07):
house and and the winners werethe ones that would quietly
focus and visualize the pathdown. They would just do the
course in their mind. Yeah? Andthat's a huge difference maker.
Yeah, it's like, it's like adifference between,
between. Now we have great datato support this, cramming for a
(24:28):
test and studying for 15 minutesand then stopping and walking
away and thinking about and thencome back. You know,
the brain loves to relax for amoment and and and metadata, and
have athink there's more comments than
(24:56):
actual questions, but I.
Um, something Robbie said, Ithink it really uh, highlights
what you guys are talking about,immediate pleasure rewards like
scrolling your phone could be awarning to watch as a quote, dry
drunk symptom, and for those ofus in AA, if not kept in check,
could lead to a slippery slope.
And Robbie's also on here to saythat he's proudly 18 years in
recovery, which is incredible,and he was the perfect
(25:20):
stereotype for the closetdrinker. So part of the sobriety
stands on being open about itand not being ashamed, and that
is amazing. And other people aretalking about recognizing that
they're going to just go pick updifferent habits and maybe put
the phone down and do moreproductive things, versus being
addicted to that. I think that'sa really big takeaway from this
(25:40):
call from the comments here notto unpack the program too much,
but there's a reason why you getso many chips early on in your
journey, and that is exactlywhat you're talking about. It is
to it is to rewire the dopamine.
It's that it gives you thosesmall goals and those wins that
you get to celebrate on the pathto recovery. You know, after,
(26:01):
after, after the first couple ofyears, you stop getting chips
and just get your cake. Becausethey're like, Okay, you figured
it out. But in that beginningpart, you know, you get, you get
your, you get your one week, youget your you get your 90 days,
you get your, you know, you getyour, your six months. Those
chips are really important part.
That's why they do it. It's areally important part of that.
And you mentioned, you mentioneddry drunks. Those of you guys
(26:22):
that don't know dry drunks arepeople who have eliminated the
drug of choice from theiraddiction and from their
addictive personality, but yetthey continue to lean into the
kind of behavior patterns thatare indicative of alcoholism and
drug abuse. So you'll see,you'll see the mood swings and
the rages and and like all youhave to do is go to an AA
(26:46):
meeting and look at how many,how much coffee, cigarettes and
donuts are consumed on thebreak. That is an indicator of
what it drives. Yes, and by theway, it's, it's short for
Roberta. So excuse me, wrongpronoun there. So she. Thank you
for clarifying that Robbie.
Robbie is Roberta, and that'sher, her 18 years of recovery,
(27:06):
which is incredible.
No, okay. And then Mark has agood question. Mark asks, What
can help prevent unexpectedoutbursts of rage? I deal with
going from one to 100 in angeras a person with autism, I would
imagine that also, like, dialingback your exposure to things
like social media would be a bighelp in your day, 100%
(27:28):
well and tools too. You know,that's what prima Gib, sister,
my my daughter is, is veryhonest about the fact that she
has what's what they used tocall learning disabilities. It's
learning differences. And so shewent to,
she proudly went to a schoolcalled champs here in in Los
(27:49):
Angeles, and there were, I'msorry, not champs, but Westmark.
And there were, like, someclasses, there were like, maybe
five or six people in there, andand it was all about processes,
right? And so I'd be figuringout, okay, I learned, I learned
by by hearing, or I learned byreading, or I learned by a
(28:10):
combination and having thesehaving processes. And so, you
know, if you whether it'swhether it's anger or it's
hunger or it's some sort ofrepetitive addiction, the the
finding, the process that worksfor you, that she used to call
them tricks and and she was not.
(28:33):
I mean, I don't know that weweren't expecting her to
graduate from college, but she,but she did a tremendous job at
Chapman University and graduatedand, and, and to this day, you
know, uses those, thosetechniques and those and those
tricks when she's when she'slearning and when she's dealing
with people, but, but havinghaving those, I think, and
(28:56):
understanding that if it, if anoutburst, for example, of anger,
is on its way. It could be assimple as, you know, counting to
100 or it could be as simple asjust some people use these, you
know, these hand movements totake, take them out, out of
that, what they call flooding, Iguess, right. So I don't know
where you are on this, on thespectrum, and where, like, what
(29:18):
your triggers are, and stufflike that. So if you have a
dopamine addiction,and anything that interferes
with that will make you moreirritable, regardless of I mean,
even if you're neuro typical,right? So that some of that
might not be a symptom ofautism, some of that might just
be, that's all of us, right? Ifyou're, if you're really, if
you're an alcoholic, andsomebody takes away your
alcohol, you're going to beangry. If you're addicted to
your phone and somebody wantsyour attention to come away from
(29:41):
the phone. Away from the phone,you're going to be a little bit
more irritable and lesssensitive to what the what's
going on around you, becauseyou're in that addiction phase,
and you'll see it as the daygoes on. You're going to become
more addicted and need more ofthose dopamine hits in order to
maintain that level that you gotyou started with in the morning.
So to that point, you.
Just be aware of that and workon on the phone addiction, or
(30:03):
whatever that that dopaminerdiction is. And the a great tool
for anybody who is prone toangry outbursts is to do the
wait 10 seconds, because theworst thing we do is when we
feel that being overwhelmed, wereact in anger. And so a good
system. And you know, if youare, if you have, like, touch
(30:25):
sensitivities, or you have,like, you know, they make
fidgets. What do they call it?
Fidget spinners? Yeah, they makefidget spinners for that, for
but if you need that, I forgetwhat the term is for people that
need it. But, like, maybe youneed, you need tactical
stimulation in order to, inorder to be able to, like, calm
(30:45):
yourself so you can count onyour fingers, like,
1-234-567-8910,before you react. And it can
actually help you get back intothe into the brain space where
you're able to actually focusand respond outside of your
emotions. Yeah, I love it.
Thank you guys for for a greatget together. We love it. I'm
(31:07):
going to ask you a favor. We'regoing to send Chris is going to
send you an email today, and inthat email is going to be a
link, and it's a link toto the YouTube version of my
record that I just released.
You'll see all the songs there,so you don't have to download
anything. You don't it's it'sfree. And what I'm looking for
(31:29):
is, is for you to listen to afew of the songs and write me a
review, and then we'll be ableto use the review to attract
more people to to listen to theto the album. The album is
called sports, and it's a recordof 11 sports themes and then two
versions of round ball rock, thebasketball theme. It's been a
year of work on this. On thisrecord, I listen to it every day
(31:52):
because I like to work out to myown that's it. If you want, if
you want to talk about hijackingyour dopamine, play sports the
album while you play sports, thephysical activity, right? I will
link it on the Facebook pagetoo. So everybody has that on
Facebook. Oh, that's great.
That's Yes, thank you. It was, Ihad an amazing experience
on Friday night where I was, Iwent back to my alma mater, NC
(32:16):
State, where I played somesoccer and and it was, it was
their, their arch rivals, NC,Stage Arts, right? Rivals,
University of North Carolina,which is just up the road, and
Duke University is just down theroad from there, and they're
playing, you know, when I wasplaying soccer 53 years ago, it
was, we had maybe 40 people inthe in the there weren't any
(32:38):
stands. You had to stand up. Itwas like youth soccer, yeah,
bring your chair. Yeah, youbring your chair. But there were
over 7000 people at this game.
It was just amazing to see howthe program had grown. And I
became friends. What my friend,Steve Thomas and I were were
there, and we became friendswith it, with the coach, Mark
Hubbard and and Mark has done atremendous job where the team
(32:59):
is, like, actually number fivein the highest ranking ever in
the in the history of of NCState's program, and so they're
number five in the country andand when the team was out there
practicing, and even duringhalftime, they played a couple
of songs from my from my album,and I was just, I couldn't even
take it. I was just, I just hadto walk away. It was really cool
(33:19):
to, you know, to be to be there,you know, five decades later,
and to be able to to watch, youknow, my team play so well, and
and to have all those memoriesand so. And then there was, and
then there was the music. So,yeah, if you would, if you would
listen to the record and justtell me what you think about it,
even just one song, I would begrateful. That's it. Absolutely
(33:42):
again, play sports while youplay sports, that's
it. All right, guys, we'll seeyou next week. Thank you. That's
it for the show today. Thank youguys, so much for listening. If
you like the show, please rate,comment and subscribe on Apple
podcast. Spotify, wherever youget your podcast. It helps us
out a lot when you do that, wealso try to respond to every
(34:03):
mention the show, every DM aboutthe show. You can tell us what
you think about it, becauseultimately, we do the show for
you guys. So thank you so muchfor listening. You.
Gib.
(00:07):
Hello and welcome to anotherepisode of the podcast. I'm Gib
Gerard. Today we are giving alittle sneak peek into what we
call transformation Tuesday.
That is a live webinar that wedo once a week on Tuesdays,
we'll take questions. We puttogether all kinds of
information with experts that wequote regularly on the radio
show. We bring some of theirclips to you, and we live DJ
(00:28):
them for you. You can find outmore about transformation
tuesday@tesh.com but hereis this week's transformation
Tuesday without further ado. Meand John Tesh, good morning and
welcome totransformation. Tuesday, one of
our favorite days of the week. Ilove I do too, if I'm ever, if
(00:49):
I've ever had aconvoluted weekend. I mean, how
many games did you referee thisweekend? I only Reft. I ended up
roughing. Well, sort of two,three and a half, three and a
half games. How do you remembera half a game? What happened
was, it was I did on Saturday, Idid Club Games, and on Sunday, I
(01:11):
did a yso games. And onSaturday, one of the club games,
the other team didn't haveenough players to start the game
on time, and I had to go acrosstown to ref a different game. So
when they when you get past acertain point, we can no longer
call the game a real game. So weended up doing was one of the
refs didn't bury in the weeds.
(01:34):
He stayed and ref the scrimmagefor them. And I Aard, which is
the linesman for half of thegame. And then I went across
town and did the Culver Citygame. All right, okay, yes, and
you're plugged into the rightpodcast.
This is, you the youth soccerpodcast. He's a guy I follow who
has one ayouth soccer podcast. His name
is, he's gonna handle onInstagram and Tiktok. It's refs
(01:56):
need love too. And he it'sfantastic if you're into youth
sports, reffing, particularlysoccer repping. He does. He does
like he'll do, you know, he'lltake game footage from
professional games, from kidsgames, and kind of break down
what the reps calls are. Hetalks about, like, you know,
sideline behavior, how to managethat. And, yeah, it's, it's a
(02:17):
wonderful niche, and he can'twait to sign up for that. I love
it.
Hey everybody, welcome totransformation Tuesdays. Those
of you who are are new. This isit. Could be transformation
Wednesday or transmissionFriday, but we like the TT
(02:38):
alliteration on there.
Alliteration, yes. And so wayout Wednesday, where we talk
about the weirdest way. Way outWednesday, yeah, I'm back from a
from a trip to Nashville andNorth Carolina. We could talk
about that a little bit later,if we have, if we have time.
These are two places where I wasa news reporter and an anchor
person and and man talk aboutclimbing a tall tree and looking
(03:00):
around and looking back at yourlife and and seeing what you've
done or not done and how fastlife is going. Good grief, if
you want, if you wantencouragement to hurry up and
and live your life, you couldjust talk to me about it,
because it's I word. It was, youknow? Well, I'll tell you about
it later, but it was, it wasanywhere between 51 and 53 years
(03:23):
ago. Unbelievable that I was ineither one of these cities
anchoring the news and and, yes,a lot has changed. A lot a lot
of people aretaught, and I think, I don't
think you'll be surprised bythis, but the you know, I love
going into master control andtalking to the to the guys there
and and they say that a goodportion of their newscasts,
(03:45):
their clips, their news clips,is now people get their news on
tick tock. Oh yeah, yeah. So Ialways thought tick tock was
just goofy and for dancing andstuff like that, but they put
their news clips on tick tock,yeah. That's how a lot of people
get their news. Oh yeah. Theother thing is happening, this
is probably for another day, isthat I'm now being fooled by AI
where they're they're puttingwords in Jordan Peterson's
(04:08):
mouth. They're putting words inJoe Rogan's mouth and and I
guess I'm getting to the pointwhere I can spot it a little
bit. But, you know, Paul McCartis showing up in in in the
hospital with Phil Collins, andit wasn't really Paul McCartney.
So I can't imagine where this isgoing. Yeah, we're headed down a
weird rabbit hole. There is athing which I think is
(04:29):
interesting, which is thebusiness model for AI right now.
It's very expensive to operate,and there's not a lot of revenue
stream. So it's very much likethe.com boom in the early 2000
Sure, yeah. So I have a feelingthat we're going to see a
reorganization of AI in, like,in the next couple of years.
Yeah, I can't wait to see whatthat looks like. I'm just gonna
(04:50):
just kind of hide until thathappens.
So, because this istransformation Tuesday, and this
could be a revelation.
For you. We're going to startwith one of our favorite guys,
and Andrew Huberman. And I lovewhat he has to say here about
the hewants to talk about the habits
(05:10):
that is going to that coulddestroy us. And it has to do
with with with dopamine, anddopamine is, is produced Gib,
when we have it could beproduced by by finishing a race.
It can be produced by having,you know, someone from the
(05:30):
opposite sex actually look atyou when you're interested in
them, not really, I mean. Or itcould be the ding on your on
your phone. Yes, it's a reward.
It's the reward chemical, right,right? So the best way to get
dopamine is for you to do a longterm task and then finish it and
and have it be successful. Butwhat we've what has happened is
(05:55):
everything is hijacked to giveus dopamine whenever we whenever
we want it, like it's, it's yourphone gives you dopamine, your
your notifications give youdopamine. It is, it is taking
us, taking our brains over in areally negative way. And a
perfect example of the wrong wayto get dopamine
is to have a glass of wine, orto have take a drug or something
(06:17):
like that, and you get and youget a good feeling, and then you
do it again, and or I takeoxytocin, or, like, you know,
Vicodin, or something like that.
And then you have to have more aweek a week later, and more and
more and more. And we have, we Iactually have a friend who has a
back problem who is up to, like,30 pills a day, you know,
(06:41):
whereas one pill a day wouldhave done, yeah, okay, a year
ago. So here's Huberman talkingabout something very important
that we have to keep our eye on,and that is where we're getting
our dopamine, and how, why? Ifwe don't control it, we could
really end up in trouble. Hereyou go, any high amount of
dopamine that comes to youwithout effort before it will
(07:03):
eventually destroy you, wow, orbring you close to destruction.
So something that just feels sogood that you all you had to do
is open a package. All you hadto do was take a pill or open a
website, or open a website. Thatis the slippery slope. Dopamine
is not about the pursuit ofpleasure. It's about the
pleasure of pursuit. It's aboutmotivation. The other thing to
(07:25):
remember about dopamine is itcan, if it's increased very
dramatically and very fast, itcan drive addiction. And I
define addiction as aprogressive narrowing of the
things that bring you pleasure.
A great life is where many, manythings bring you pleasure.
Children of very wealthy peopleoften destroy their lives. You
know, they destroy their livesbecause they haven't had to work
(07:46):
to have all this stuff andthere's this huge cushion below
them.
Yeah. I mean, look, we, we'vetalked about a lot of that stuff
before, but this idea thatthat what feels good in our
brain in the short term is goodfor us. It really does lead you
down a path of destruction. Itdoes lead you down a path of
(08:07):
addiction. This is why, when wetalk about digital minimalism
and things like that, like CalNewport has that great book
digital minimalism, and it youknow, where you really need to
begin to remove the dopaminestimulators from your phone.
Phones are a fantastic tool.
Phones allow you to stay, youknow, stay connected across
(08:29):
1000s of miles. Allow you tostay connected, you know, and do
things out of the office thatyou used to require an entire
computer. I mean, the phone inyour pocket, very likely, if you
have a smartphone, has morecomputing power than any than
the entire entire missiledefense system did in the in the
early 80s. It is an incrediblypowerful tool that we can use
(08:49):
for so many positive things. Butwhat has happened is the
attention economy has caused itto hijack our attention and for
a small number of people to makea lot of money and and in that
process, we've kind of lost ourconnection to real, connected
dopamine. And what that howimportant that is for our, for
our, our, our overall mentalhealth. So he's absolutely
(09:13):
right. You know, he's talkingabout the children of rich
people. And I think for forseveral decades, we sort of
thought of them as dilettantesand, and because they nothing
could stimulate the dopaminethat they could get, you know,
with, with, just by spendingtheir their family's money. But
now we are, we are alldilettantes with our phones. We
are all create. We're all DickieGreenleaf from
(09:34):
Talented Mr. Ripley. We are alljust kind of wandering through
life looking at our phoneinstead of having any kind of
any kind of real direction, andit removes the connection
between effort and pleasure in away that is really hard to get
back. So when we talk aboutdigital minimalism, you make
your phone black and white,right? Because the colors and
the stimulating colors andsounds help with the dopamine
(09:56):
addiction. You remove the appsthat aren't productive based,
you know, the.
Move the pleasure ones, theInstagrams and things like that,
and you go back to reading yournews. You go back to reading
your information, because thenews is packaged. Information is
packaged in a way that ispleasing. You mentioned that
your old news station puts theirstuff on Tiktok, and that's
(10:16):
that's great. It's a great wayto get it out there, and I
absolutely respect that part ofit. But if you're getting your
news primarily, your newsprimarily from Tiktok, I think
you're making a mistake in howyou approach your information
consumption. Yeah. And whatwe're seeing now too is that,
because it's so easy to to getto get pornography, right, yes.
And I mean that by a kid who'salone with a computer of any age
(10:39):
he could end up, he she couldend up on a pornographic site.
And so there are, it's, it's afascinating I read a thing, I
believe it was in Vanity Fairabout how now women, young
women, having a really hard timedating because, because men who
(10:59):
are who have grown up in thisdigital age, and some of them
who have been on pornographysites, they they have eliminated
first, second, third and fourthbase, right? They've gone all
the way through all of the allthe bases. So they show up for a
date and they buy a woman dinneror a drink or whatever, and
(11:21):
immediately they're, they'relike, being inappropriate and
and looking for a kiss, lookingfor more. And women are like,
What the heck is going on now?
It's because, is because menhave been all their dopamine is
gone, right, right? And they'reand they feel like this is the
this is, this is just a naturalorder of things. It's really
(11:45):
dangerous place to be. But ifyou can, if you can figure out
those of us who are, who areadults, are not dealing with
this, if you can, if you canfigure out where your dopamine
is coming from. So given I'vetalked many times before about
about how we can see each otherin each other when we've worked
out. Yeah, right. And so you,you come in, and I don't care,
(12:05):
it could be 15 minutes, it couldbe 30 minutes, it could be more
it could be 10 minutes, it couldbe just a couple of sprints, or
something like that. That'swhere that's dopamine. And so
when you come into your tasksfor the day, even when you're
just driving to work, if youafter you've done that, talk
about people like, oh my gosh,I'm so grumpy I missed my
workout. That's because youdidn't get a real honest
dopamine squirt in the morning,right? Yeah. So this goes back
(12:29):
so, you know, piggybacking whatyou said, so the
pornography does hijack yourdopamine,
the so many different things,you know, that's that's just one
really glaring example. And italso, to your point, it creates
a transactional relationshipwith sex. That is, that it's
hurting it's hurtingrelationships. It's leading to
all kinds of other healthproblems around, you know,
(12:50):
sexual function in young andyoung adults now. So there are
kind all kinds of consequencesto that, which is one of the
reasons why we talk about doingeven getting small wins going in
the morning, like making yourbed. And the cool thing about
making your bed versus checkingyour phone first thing in the
morning is that you have, youbegin to rewire your dopamine
(13:11):
back to what it's supposed tobe, which is you get a you get a
squirt of dopamine as a rewardfor a little bit of effort. And
that making your bed is a greatway to do that. Not only is it
nice, not only does it, youknow, we there's that whole
Admiral McRaven thing that we'vementioned before, but a little
bit of the neuroscience behindit is that you actually start to
rewire your brain, or get yourbrain re primed to associate
(13:37):
dopamine, the pleasure ofdopamine, with the completion of
tasks, and it's why I like whywe like handwritten to do lists.
It's why we like writing stuffdown. All of that adds to
rewiring the brain versus thesmorgasbord of dopamine that's
available on your phone. Allright, so Simon Sinek is
another,another great productivity
expert who I love listening to.
(14:00):
Found a piece this morning ofhim talking about the secret
that creates changes. Guy,compared the top five tennis
players. Do you know about this?
Compared the top five tennisplayers from the top 25 tennis
players? So what makes the topfive so much better than all the
others? And he goes through thelist. Is it their diet?
(14:25):
By the way? I want, I want toset this up again. It's the
secret that creates champions. Ijust, I just, I need to get
these classes changed, because Ithink that's important for you
not to be looking for thechanges. It's a secret that
change that creates champions.
All right. You ready? Here wego.
Guy, compared the top fivetennis players. Do you know
(14:48):
about this? Compared the topfive tennis players from the top
25 tennis players? So what makesthe top five so much better than
all the others? And he goesthrough the list. Is it their
diet? Is it their CO.
Coaching? Is it their workethic? No, no. They all have
that, right? And he literallygoes through all the lists of
what it could be, and it's noneof those things. The one thing
(15:09):
that the top five have that theothers don't
is, is that when they score apoint, they go, that's fun. I
love this I love this game. Whenthey miss a point, they go like,
Oh, I missed that one, but waittill you see what I do on the
next one. And there's sort of ajoy and love of what they're
doing and and a success orfailure their mindset in the
(15:30):
moment.
This, by the way, Gib is how Igot over stage fright at playing
piano on stage where the coachthat I was working with for a
couple of years John, dr, JohnHart. He's his whole thing was,
you know, what are you going todo when, when you when you fail,
when you make them, make amistake? Are you just going to
freak out and you ruin the restof the song? What's, what's your
(15:52):
technique going to be? And sowhat? Without going through the
whole process, what he basicallysaid was, just smile and look at
the audience and shrug yourshoulders and move on. And so
it's almost like, I, you know,it's so great to be up here with
you guys, but this is not goingto be there's not going to be
perfect, you know. Now it'sprobably different if you're at
(16:15):
the Hollywood Bowl and you'rewith the giant orchestra or
something like that. I there'ssuch a marked difference between
when you have your band andyou're, yeah, over is when
you're playing with an argument,right, right? Exactly. The other
thing, and I have done thisbefore too, is that
it's harder for some of thesemusicians who, I mean, somebody
like Billy Joel or Elton John orsting, or any of those guys,
(16:36):
where some of them have, I won'tmention which ones, but they'll
have a teleprompter on stagewith the lyrics of their songs,
because they're doing so much byplaying, and if all of a sudden
they go up on a word, orwhatever, they miss a word, or
everybody who's singing along,here's that Frank Sinatra
famously used a used to use ateleprompter. So with me, if I
(16:59):
make a mistake. Not everybodyknows all of my my songs, but
they know that the feeling thatthey're getting, hopefully, from
what I'm playing, but if I hit awrong note, and I mean, it
sounds like a joke, becauseyou're always like, Oh, you make
a mistake. And just do it again.
Because then it's a jazz youknow, and as long as it's a,
it's a, it's a mistake withinthe scale, path within what the
song is doing. You just do itagain, you know. And I do that
(17:23):
all the time, and then, and thenI have to say, Isn't this great?
Isn't this great? I'm up here onstage and this and this
happened, and here we go. We'regonna keep we're gonna keep
going. This is, look,this is where your self
consciousness is holding youback. This is self consciousness
is great to help you fit into agroup, but we spend so much time
in our self consciousness. Wethink that people are viewing us
(17:46):
through a certain lens. We thinkthat they are viewing us as
critically as we view ourselves.
And so then we amplify our selfcriticism. Oh, I mean, I see my
daughter do it all the time. Youknow, she's 13. She's brilliant
at all these different things,and she's always, she's always
caveating what she's doing.
Yeah, I tried this. I don'tknow. I don't really like it. I
did the shading is bad, orwhatever, or I wrote this essay,
(18:06):
and I feel like I didn't doenough with the metaphor, or
whatever, whatever the thing is,she's always couching it because
her self consciousness. Andadolescence is a time of extreme
self consciousness, and mymiddle daughter starting to do
it. She had a great game ofsoccer. She's playing, she's
going back and playing rec, andshe scored a bunch of goals.
She's not normally a goalscorer. She's a winger and and,
and she was downplaying it anddownplaying it. Both of my
(18:29):
daughters are just there at thatadolescent age where they are
trained to downplay it. And allof us have gone through that
period. You've gone through theperiod where you know you
downplay your successes and youelevate yourself criticisms,
because you think that's whatwhat the world around you is
going to respond to. And what wedo when we do that is we tell
ourselves a narrative that weare not successful. We tell
(18:49):
ourselves a narrative that thatbecomes our reality. We begin to
accentuate our negatives anddownplay our positives, and we
need to get in the habit ofcelebrating even our small wins.
And part of, part of theenjoyment that comes with being
on stage is you celebrate now.
You celebrate even some of yourmistakes as your ability to
(19:10):
overcome them. You find thingsto celebrate, and that begets
more confidence and begets moresuccesses. So when you're trying
on whatever path you're on, somuch of us go, oh, here are all
the reasons why it can't work.
And that's what a smart, cynicalperson is going to emphasize. We
are the here are the here arewhere the pitfalls are, and
that's an important thing tohave on a team. It's an
important thing to do. I'm notdownplaying that. But what
(19:31):
happens is, when we get thesmall wins, we get that meeting
with the person, when we signour first client, when we sign
whatever, the thing is, wedownplay it so much that we
actually don't give ourselvesthe full dopamine reward. It's
actually going to help uscontinue and get the small task
and the small wins that aregoing to get us over the hump on
our big project and our biggoals. And what he's talking
(19:52):
about there is you have to getin the habit of celebrating the
joy of of success. Celebrate thejoy.
A failure, and that is the thingthat's going to move you
forward. Our self criticism isholding us back from being able
to do that. It's interestingthat he would, he would say
that, to say this now, becausewe're, I've been watching some
of the US Open Tennis, andthere's just been some horrible
(20:15):
behavior this year. You know,people calling each other, I
mean, terrible names and and,you know,
remember back in the day, backin the early 80s when and I was
standing there watching it onthe sideline, because I worked
for CBS, who was covering it,and, and John McEnroe screaming
at Ball people who were like,you know, like 14 years old, you
(20:40):
know. And you're thinking, thisguy does not enjoy the game, and
so, and then when, I guess somepeople feel like they feed on
that, but nobody wants to bearound that, no, and it can't be
good for you. No. I mean, lookagain, I did the Mac and Rose of
the world. Are we? We rememberthem because of their of their
(21:01):
difference. But so many of usrespond much more to and so many
more successful people find thejoy in each thing, sometimes a
pathological joy. I mean, youknow, you find this, not to call
out one profession, but you'llfind this in some attorneys,
where they don't, they don'treally love even the law, and
what they love is using the lawto completely break down the
(21:21):
other side, and it becomespathological, and honestly, they
are rewarded for it. I don'twant you to be pathological. I
don't want you to be like that.
I want you to be happy. Butfinding that way of celebrating
your success is finding thatthing that makes you, you know,
come alive in the pursuit andrewarding yourself accordingly
is the only way you will get tothe place you want to be. Yeah,
(21:42):
I love it. We're gonna doquestions in just a minute, but
I want to share one more piecefrom from Andrew Huberman about
how important it is these daysto find some time, any time
during the day, to calm yourmind. Here we go. Learn to calm
your mind. Right? Your mind isgonna spool. Nobody has a mind
(22:03):
that's calm all the time andfocused when they want it to be
and falls asleep perfectly everynight. Nobody gets that. No
human being gets that. Okay, soyou have to put some work into
it. That involves doing maybeit's five minutes of meditation
a day. I'm a big believer inprayer. I think that combines a
number, if not all of thefeatures of the things that we
hear about, like meditation andall these other things, into a
(22:24):
practice that, if you spend sometime with it, I think it can be
very useful. Okay, I'm not hereto push that. I just know that
to be true. So get yourphysiology right, and the rest
will start falling into place.
And you know, the onlineculture, my podcast, your
podcast, Rogan podcast and otherpodcasts, is replete with
(22:45):
information about how toexercise, right, how to eat,
right, how to do all thesethings, building your social
connections, which are alsovitally important, but if you're
not getting your physiologyright, the rest isn't going to
work.
So true. It doesn't take thatmuch either. Look, download.
There's centering prayer appI've mentioned before. There's
(23:06):
calm headspace. These are sortof agnostic
apps that focus on meditation,focus and just get in the habit.
Try it. Try focusing quietly andnot allowing your your brain to
ruminate for just five minutes aday. If you're not in the habit
of doing that, if you're not inthe habit of praying or
(23:26):
meditating for five minutes aday, you will be shocked.
15 and you're, you're you're inlike this, this top 5% of people
in your ability to focus. It'sunreal. How much mental like,
(23:47):
how much, how difficult that ismentally to be able to do it,
but how important that isfundamentally. And we talked,
you talk about, and if you canget good at that, by the way,
you can unlock a lot of thepositive visualization that we
were talking about previouslyand earlier today. You know, you
talk about watching the skiers.
We talked about the tennisplayers celebrating themselves,
but you talk about watching theskiers in the in the starting
(24:07):
house and and the winners werethe ones that would quietly
focus and visualize the pathdown. They would just do the
course in their mind. Yeah? Andthat's a huge difference maker.
Yeah, it's like, it's like adifference between,
between. Now we have great datato support this, cramming for a
(24:28):
test and studying for 15 minutesand then stopping and walking
away and thinking about and thencome back. You know,
the brain loves to relax for amoment and and and metadata, and
have athink there's more comments than
(24:56):
actual questions, but I.
Um, something Robbie said, Ithink it really uh, highlights
what you guys are talking about,immediate pleasure rewards like
scrolling your phone could be awarning to watch as a quote, dry
drunk symptom, and for those ofus in AA, if not kept in check,
could lead to a slippery slope.
And Robbie's also on here to saythat he's proudly 18 years in
recovery, which is incredible,and he was the perfect
(25:20):
stereotype for the closetdrinker. So part of the sobriety
stands on being open about itand not being ashamed, and that
is amazing. And other people aretalking about recognizing that
they're going to just go pick updifferent habits and maybe put
the phone down and do moreproductive things, versus being
addicted to that. I think that'sa really big takeaway from this
(25:40):
call from the comments here notto unpack the program too much,
but there's a reason why you getso many chips early on in your
journey, and that is exactlywhat you're talking about. It is
to it is to rewire the dopamine.
It's that it gives you thosesmall goals and those wins that
you get to celebrate on the pathto recovery. You know, after,
(26:01):
after, after the first couple ofyears, you stop getting chips
and just get your cake. Becausethey're like, Okay, you figured
it out. But in that beginningpart, you know, you get, you get
your, you get your one week, youget your you get your 90 days,
you get your, you know, you getyour, your six months. Those
chips are really important part.
That's why they do it. It's areally important part of that.
And you mentioned, you mentioneddry drunks. Those of you guys
(26:22):
that don't know dry drunks arepeople who have eliminated the
drug of choice from theiraddiction and from their
addictive personality, but yetthey continue to lean into the
kind of behavior patterns thatare indicative of alcoholism and
drug abuse. So you'll see,you'll see the mood swings and
the rages and and like all youhave to do is go to an AA
(26:46):
meeting and look at how many,how much coffee, cigarettes and
donuts are consumed on thebreak. That is an indicator of
what it drives. Yes, and by theway, it's, it's short for
Roberta. So excuse me, wrongpronoun there. So she. Thank you
for clarifying that Robbie.
Robbie is Roberta, and that'sher, her 18 years of recovery,
(27:06):
which is incredible.
No, okay. And then Mark has agood question. Mark asks, What
can help prevent unexpectedoutbursts of rage? I deal with
going from one to 100 in angeras a person with autism, I would
imagine that also, like, dialingback your exposure to things
like social media would be a bighelp in your day, 100%
(27:28):
well and tools too. You know,that's what prima Gib, sister,
my my daughter is, is veryhonest about the fact that she
has what's what they used tocall learning disabilities. It's
learning differences. And so shewent to,
she proudly went to a schoolcalled champs here in in Los
(27:49):
Angeles, and there were, I'msorry, not champs, but Westmark.
And there were, like, someclasses, there were like, maybe
five or six people in there, andand it was all about processes,
right? And so I'd be figuringout, okay, I learned, I learned
by by hearing, or I learned byreading, or I learned by a
(28:10):
combination and having thesehaving processes. And so, you
know, if you whether it'swhether it's anger or it's
hunger or it's some sort ofrepetitive addiction, the the
finding, the process that worksfor you, that she used to call
them tricks and and she was not.
(28:33):
I mean, I don't know that weweren't expecting her to
graduate from college, but she,but she did a tremendous job at
Chapman University and graduatedand, and, and to this day, you
know, uses those, thosetechniques and those and those
tricks when she's when she'slearning and when she's dealing
with people, but, but havinghaving those, I think, and
(28:56):
understanding that if it, if anoutburst, for example, of anger,
is on its way. It could be assimple as, you know, counting to
100 or it could be as simple asjust some people use these, you
know, these hand movements totake, take them out, out of
that, what they call flooding, Iguess, right. So I don't know
where you are on this, on thespectrum, and where, like, what
(29:18):
your triggers are, and stufflike that. So if you have a
dopamine addiction,and anything that interferes
with that will make you moreirritable, regardless of I mean,
even if you're neuro typical,right? So that some of that
might not be a symptom ofautism, some of that might just
be, that's all of us, right? Ifyou're, if you're really, if
you're an alcoholic, andsomebody takes away your
alcohol, you're going to beangry. If you're addicted to
your phone and somebody wantsyour attention to come away from
(29:41):
the phone. Away from the phone,you're going to be a little bit
more irritable and lesssensitive to what the what's
going on around you, becauseyou're in that addiction phase,
and you'll see it as the daygoes on. You're going to become
more addicted and need more ofthose dopamine hits in order to
maintain that level that you gotyou started with in the morning.
So to that point, you.
Just be aware of that and workon on the phone addiction, or
(30:03):
whatever that that dopaminerdiction is. And the a great tool
for anybody who is prone toangry outbursts is to do the
wait 10 seconds, because theworst thing we do is when we
feel that being overwhelmed, wereact in anger. And so a good
system. And you know, if youare, if you have, like, touch
(30:25):
sensitivities, or you have,like, you know, they make
fidgets. What do they call it?
Fidget spinners? Yeah, they makefidget spinners for that, for
but if you need that, I forgetwhat the term is for people that
need it. But, like, maybe youneed, you need tactical
stimulation in order to, inorder to be able to, like, calm
(30:45):
yourself so you can count onyour fingers, like,
1-234-567-8910,before you react. And it can
actually help you get back intothe into the brain space where
you're able to actually focusand respond outside of your
emotions. Yeah, I love it.
Thank you guys for for a greatget together. We love it. I'm
(31:07):
going to ask you a favor. We'regoing to send Chris is going to
send you an email today, and inthat email is going to be a
link, and it's a link toto the YouTube version of my
record that I just released.
You'll see all the songs there,so you don't have to download
anything. You don't it's it'sfree. And what I'm looking for
(31:29):
is, is for you to listen to afew of the songs and write me a
review, and then we'll be ableto use the review to attract
more people to to listen to theto the album. The album is
called sports, and it's a recordof 11 sports themes and then two
versions of round ball rock, thebasketball theme. It's been a
year of work on this. On thisrecord, I listen to it every day
(31:52):
because I like to work out to myown that's it. If you want, if
you want to talk about hijackingyour dopamine, play sports the
album while you play sports, thephysical activity, right? I will
link it on the Facebook pagetoo. So everybody has that on
Facebook. Oh, that's great.
That's Yes, thank you. It was, Ihad an amazing experience
on Friday night where I was, Iwent back to my alma mater, NC
(32:16):
State, where I played somesoccer and and it was, it was
their, their arch rivals, NC,Stage Arts, right? Rivals,
University of North Carolina,which is just up the road, and
Duke University is just down theroad from there, and they're
playing, you know, when I wasplaying soccer 53 years ago, it
was, we had maybe 40 people inthe in the there weren't any
(32:38):
stands. You had to stand up. Itwas like youth soccer, yeah,
bring your chair. Yeah, youbring your chair. But there were
over 7000 people at this game.
It was just amazing to see howthe program had grown. And I
became friends. What my friend,Steve Thomas and I were were
there, and we became friendswith it, with the coach, Mark
Hubbard and and Mark has done atremendous job where the team
(32:59):
is, like, actually number fivein the highest ranking ever in
the in the history of of NCState's program, and so they're
number five in the country andand when the team was out there
practicing, and even duringhalftime, they played a couple
of songs from my from my album,and I was just, I couldn't even
take it. I was just, I just hadto walk away. It was really cool
(33:19):
to, you know, to be to be there,you know, five decades later,
and to be able to to watch, youknow, my team play so well, and
and to have all those memoriesand so. And then there was, and
then there was the music. So,yeah, if you would, if you would
listen to the record and justtell me what you think about it,
even just one song, I would begrateful. That's it. Absolutely
(33:42):
again, play sports while youplay sports, that's
it. All right, guys, we'll seeyou next week. Thank you. That's
it for the show today. Thank youguys, so much for listening. If
you like the show, please rate,comment and subscribe on Apple
podcast. Spotify, wherever youget your podcast. It helps us
out a lot when you do that, wealso try to respond to every
(34:03):
mention the show, every DM aboutthe show. You can tell us what
you think about it, becauseultimately, we do the show for
you guys. So thank you so muchfor listening. You.
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