November 13, 2025 • 33 mins
On this episode of the podcast we have our Transformation Tuesday webinar.
This week we talked about the pain of change, and how to create a lasting mindset.
Stream the John Tesh Sports Album now. Available on all platforms.
For more information, and to sign up for our private coaching, visit tesh.com
Our Hosts:
John Tesh: Instagram: @johntesh_ifyl facebook.com/JohnTesh
Gib Gerard: Instagram: @GibGerard facebook.com/GibGerard X: @GibGerard
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:07):
Gib, hello and welcome to another episode of the
podcast. I'm Gib Gerard herewith another special
transformation, Tuesday episodeof the podcast. Now every
Tuesday, John and I, John or I,one of us, or both of us. Most
times, both of us, we do aspecial zoom broadcast called
transformation Tuesday. Now ifyou want to find out more about
watching that live on Zoom, youcan find out more@tesh.com we do
(00:32):
it every week. We also do one onThursday. You can sign up for
both of those callsagain@tesh.com but every once in
a while, I want to bring youguys the audio from one of those
one of those shows, one of thosebroadcasts, one of those
meetings, one of thoseconferences, and today is one of
those days. So here, withoutfurther ado, is this week's
transformation Tuesday.
Everything you need to know toget you from the place you are
(00:55):
to the place you want to be. Allright, everybody, hello and
welcome to transformation.
Tuesday. I'm Gib Gerard. As youcan tell, I'm in my studio at my
house. I'm in studio. It's myoffice off my garage. John is
out again today. He is travelingfor some promotional stuff, but
(01:16):
I got some good stuff for youtoday, for those of you that
aren't aware, yesterday was the50th anniversary of the sinking
of the Edmund Fitzgerald. So Ihave been listening to Gordon
Lightfoot for like the lastweek, pretty aggressively, not
(01:38):
that song, the wreck of theEdmund Fitzgerald. Why I told
you what I was talking about,Chrissy, and then you go to a
random Gordon Lightfoot song.
How dare you the wreck of theEdmund Fitzgerald was what I've
been listening to, Jeanette inOhio. That's where the Edmund
Fitzgerald was was headed. Andif she'd put 15 miles behind
her, she could have made whitefish Bay, but she didn't.
Anyway, I've been obsessed. I'vebeen obsessed like I've been
(02:01):
reading about the wreck. I'vebeen watching the old NBC
footage of of the Coast Guardsearch for it. I don't know why.
I've just gotten I like thesong. I like storytelling in the
song, and I've been I've beenobsessed with it anyway. That's
what's going on with me. Here'swhat's going on in your neck of
the woods, the today. Yesterday,we are going to focus on a
(02:24):
little bit more about the painof change and a couple of things
about what it takes for us tochange, what we have to what we
have to admit to ourselves, whatwe have to put ourselves through
if we want to get to that newplace, right? We're all here. I
say this every week. We're allhere. And I am, I am encouraged
(02:46):
every week that I work on thisshow and on the Thursday
broadcast, I'm encouraged by howmuch, how much this idea of
thinking about change forces meto consider my life and forces
me to consider the things that Iwant to accomplish. So we're all
(03:07):
here, myself included, becausewe want to accomplish something.
We want to change somethingabout our lives. We want to be
that better version ofourselves. We want to get from
the place we are to the placethat we want to be. And so today
we are going to talk about whatsome of that takes, why we want,
why we and I always, I call ithomeostasis, why we have this
(03:30):
tendency to stay the same, whywe have this tendency to make
choices the same, choices overand over and over again, even
though they aren't getting uswhat we want. I've said it
before. It's a great line. Youcan't get something you've never
had. You can't be someone you'venever been. If you don't do
something you've never done, youcan't you got to do something
(03:50):
you've never done if you want tochange your life. Otherwise, if
you keep doing what you've beendoing, you will stay the same.
That is how that works. Why dowe keep doing it? Why do we keep
staying the same? We all wantsomething else we all want.
Maybe it's more, maybe it'smaybe it's different, maybe it's
(04:13):
it doesn't it's not just aboutcareer, it's about
relationships, it's abouteverything. So here is the
Turkish psychology site,psychologist Gib or mate,
talking about why, how our brainworks when we choose, when we
choose pain of staying the sameover the freedom.
(04:35):
Why is it that we're so addictedto things staying the same or
things not changing like thatseems to be a core human
addiction.
Well, a therapist once said tome that it has to do with the
nature of the mind that you'rereferring to, that if your
parents didn't know or hold you,you developed the mind you hold
yourself with. So you findsafety in this mind that you
created. And so the human mind,the ordinary egoic human mind,
(04:56):
is basically a defensivestructure. It's in significant
ways. Is it's a response topain. That's not all it is, but
in significant ways, it's aresponse to pain. It's a fate of
pain, and it's designed to keepyou from experiencing pain. So
it's worried and it's anxiousand it's defensive. So when it
comes to change andvulnerability, the mind wants to
defend against it. And so it'sit comes out of fear, which
(05:17):
comes out of childhoodexperience where the pain that
you had wasn't held, thereforeyou develop these mind
structures to keep you fromexperiencing it. And I mean, one
of them, clearly, is addiction.
And you know, Keith Richards,the world's most famous former
heroin addict, the Rolling Stoneguitars said about addiction,
for example, his heroin use thatthe contortions you go through
just not to be yourself for afew hours. Why would somebody
(05:39):
not want to be themselvesbecause it hurts so much at some
point to be yourself, and then amind comes in and tries to
protect you from that pain ofbeing yourself with its ideas
and its beliefs and itscertainties and its endless
desires and its artificialneeds, and it's afraid to let
go. If I let go, I'll be helpedthis child again, but the mind
(05:59):
large is a defensive structure,and then often will react that
way.
Okay, let's unpack some of that,because there's, there's a lot
that he's saying there. One ofthe things I want to start with
is the nature of the questionitself. It's a core human
addiction that we want to staythe same, right? And I mentioned
(06:22):
before this idea that at itscore, change comes when the pain
of staying the same is greaterthan the pain of change. But we
have a society. We have a wehave a system right now that is
structured to keep us the sameand to make the pain of change
(06:44):
even greater, and we feed thiswith addictions. And the
addictions are, they are, arechemical, right? We'll and
again, I say this is somebodywho does not mind a glass of
wine or two at night. I say thisis somebody who drinks martinis.
We have alcohol is one of ouraddictions. We have tons of
(07:07):
drugs that we use, sometimesprescription, sometimes
recreational, but we are numbingourselves to those moments of
boredom where we have to livewith ourselves and acknowledge
the pain that we are runningfrom on a daily basis, and what
that does is it keeps us fromfeeling the pain of staying the
(07:28):
same, which is the mostmotivating factor in getting us
to change, because we if we canget that pain of staying the
same, greater than the pain ofchange, that's when we are
motivated to actually change Ourlives. But we become addicted.
We scroll, we watch and listento and consume news that makes
us feel better about the placethat we're in. It makes us feel
(07:49):
like it's not our fault, and wedo those things because it keeps
us from feeling the pain of ourchoices, the pain of who we are,
the presence of who we are atany moment, and that keeps us
from changing. That is how westay in what you know, in that
(08:10):
negative homeostasis, that placeof our whole life is designed to
keep us in the same spot, and wejust keep grinding on that, on
that wheel until the end of ourlives. So if we want to change,
we have to be honest withourselves. We have to figure
out, what is the pain that I'mavoiding that's keeping me in
these same patterns, and thatrequires a ton of self
(08:33):
reflection. I'm saying thismatter of factly because the
idea is simple, the process ishard, the solution is simple. Do
the things you've never done?
Embrace discomfort, lean intowho you are right now. Do the I
mean, we say it. I say it everyweek. Do the journaling, do the
(08:55):
prayer, do the meditation time?
Do it? Sit with yourself inboredom. Sit with yourself
without mollifying any of yourpain that you are experiencing,
so that you can be honest withyourself about who you are,
about what pain you are avoidingand what you actually want. I'm
(09:20):
going to pivot right now to someof the truths about change. This
is Jocko Willink. He is a formerNavy SEAL, and now he sells
supplements and is a podcaster,like a lot of people, talking
about how to enforce change. Doyou actually want to do this or
not?
(09:40):
Do you actually want to do thisor not? Because if you actually
want to do it, what's going tostop you nothing, and if you
don't really want to do it,what's going to stop you? Just
about anything that comes up,just about any obstacle that
gets in your way, becomes anexcuse. It becomes a reason. It
comes a rationale for notproceeding down that path.
You. Right? How badly do youwant it?
(10:06):
How much are you tellingyourself, oh gosh, I really just
hope that this meeting todaycancels because I'm not ready.
I'm too tired. I can't do it. Ican't I can't live like this. I
don't want to. I just, I just, Iwould love, I'd love to just sit
and there's a new episode ofToddlers and Tiaras that I want
to watch. I don't know whateverlove island I want to watch.
Love island I don't want to talkto my spouse and deal with some
(10:29):
of the issues that are holdingour marriage back. I would like
to watch love Island andfantasize about or judge people
who are behaving differently. Ifwe want it, if we want a better
marriage, if we want a betterrelationship with our children,
if we want a better life, if wewant those things that we think
(10:53):
that we are capable of, but thatwe've never pushed ourselves
into, we got to do it. We haveto be honest with ourselves and
experience that pain, and you'vegot to get yourself to that
mindset. And this is why, look,why are so many Navy SEALs
influencers? Why are so manyNavy SEALs quoted by by
(11:14):
motivational experts? It'sbecause there is something about
the training, the Navy SEALtraining that acknowledges this
idea of pushing yourself beyondwhat you thought possible. That
is the mystique of the NavySeal, right? It is. It's not. I
mean, look, it's an elitefighting force, and that's cool.
(11:35):
But we we look at that Navy SEALtraining because we see those
images of them carrying logs onthe beach, we see the images of
and we understand how farthey're swimming, how much time
they're spending in the ocean,what they put their bodies
through, not because we careabout strategic and tactical
readiness when it comes to war,but because what we see in those
(11:56):
individuals, and what the Navyis trying to find in those
individuals, Is thatunderstanding of where the
limits are and how to put pushpast them, that ability to put
themselves into situations thatcould or should kill them, but
that they have the willpower toput one foot in front of the
other and keep going.
(12:17):
That's why we lionize NavySEALs.
I mean, you may have a differentexplanation, but that is my
take. That is why we let NavySEALs become influencers. Jocko
Willink is just one of many. I'msorry I'm blanking on these on
the other ones, but it's why wedo it. It's why we want to
listen to them. Oh, Navy SEALtraining, there's something to
(12:39):
that. There's this guy. He is aformer Navy SEAL, and now he is
a professional storyteller. Sohe is, he is a he tells these
strange stories on a podcast, onYouTube, on Instagram, my kids
and I have to find the ones thatare not too gory. It's like true
(13:00):
crime and then scary stories.
His name is Mr. Ballin, and heis a former Navy SEAL, and he
tells these stories, and Ihappen to love them. They are a
little bit dark, a little bitstrange. And again, I my kids
like him, but I have to find theclean ones. So I listened to it
a ton so that I can figure outwhich episodes I could listen to
with my kids. They like themystery here he is talking about
exactly what I was just saying,the mindset shift that is
(13:25):
required to survive Navy SEALtraining, and how and on the
other side of it, I'm gonna talkabout what that means for
us. When I was in SEAL training,everyone thinks the hard part is
at the beginning of training,the hardest part comes about
halfway through training. It's asix month long. Course, halfway
through, you're in theunderwater phase. And by this
point, statistically, everybodyin your class is going to
(13:47):
graduate despite the difficultyof this test. It's the moment
you all are literally forced tohave this moment, right? It's
horrifying. There's this testcalled pull competency. They
tell you, just go under scubatanks, and the instructors are
gonna come down. They're justkind of screw with you, and
you're gonna follow you're gonnafollow procedures that you're
taught to basically, after theyfinish tumbling you around and
turning your air off, you goback on your knees, and they're
(14:10):
watching you the whole time. Andyou follow these steps. You
reach back, you turn on yourair, you check your J belt, you
check your straps. It's aprocedure that no matter what
happens to you underwater, youreset. You follow the procedure,
but each problem that they giveyou gets progressively harder to
fix, and so each time someone'scome down on you, you have to go
into the fetal position and justwait. You're going about 60
seconds to 90 seconds with noair. And then you need to follow
(14:31):
the procedure. So you can seeyou become more and more
hypercapnic. And it's this testof staying calm and following
the procedures despite literallybeing on the precipice of
passing out, right? People callit simulated drownings, and you
get four attempts at it. And soI went in, and I'm doing the
test, failed it miserably fourtimes in a row. Wasn't even
close. I actually was the guythat they had to put a pink
piece of tape around my ankle.
And it wasn't even to humiliateme. It's I would get so panicked
(14:54):
I would push off the bottom ofthe pool and go to the surface,
but we're breathing. Mixed gas.
And if you do that, you can riskrupturing your lungs with air
bubbles. And so there's like,standby divers there to keep me
from panicking and rocketing tothe surface. And so I failed
four times in a row, and as aresult, I actually got rolled
out of the class I was in. Andthey're like, look, we're gonna
give you one more shot, andyou're gonna leave this class,
(15:15):
go to the next class, and youcan try again with that class.
And so we get to test day, and Ifailed the first two attempts,
not out of panic, out ofprocedural problems. And so I
fail on Friday. There's two moreattempts left, and it's on that
Monday, and if I don't passthem, not only will it humiliate
me, but I'm dropped from SEALtraining. Yeah, that weekend was
horrible, because I'm thinkingabout this test. On Monday
(15:37):
morning, I got to the pool deck,and I was so nervous all
weekend, they make you sit withyour back to the pool, and they
made me go last that day, andthen when it was my turn, I just
had this mental shift occurwhere I was like, holy, I'm
gonna die in that pool before Ifail this test. Yeah, and I got
in the water and it was like,calm comes over me, and I begin
this test. And it didn't matterhow long I went without air. It
(15:58):
didn't matter what the problemwas. I had fully committed to
this concept of I will literallydie before I fail this test.
Yeah, and I passed, and it wasso easy, and it showed me that
there's a point where you canconvince yourself that your mind
can sort of override all thediscomfort and you can basically
do whateveryou want. That's it. That's what
we're talking about. Guys. Uh,sorry, they believe the cussing.
(16:19):
So, you know, i That's why Ileft it in. But that's what
we're talking about. You get toa place where there is nothing
if you are committed to beingthis new person, if you are
committed to changing yourcircumstances, your
relationships, your finances,your career, whatever it is,
(16:41):
whatever goal that you've had onthe back burner for a long time
that caused you to sign up forthis. How committed are you? Are
you Navy SEAL? Committed? Thatis the mystique. That is the
fascination is that they all getto that place. And what Mr.
Ballin is describing there isnot unique to him. It is pretty
universal for people who havecompleted seals training. It's
(17:03):
that you get to the place whereyou understand what that mindset
shift is. To say there is nogoing back. I have burned the
ships. There is only forward.
There is complete this or dieand what that's what SEAL
(17:23):
training provides, is thecontext for you to get to that
place, hopefully with safety,so that they know, okay, I want
to actually die.
Are you doing that? Are you? Areyou willing to push yourself
into that place where this thingthat you want there is no
(17:47):
turning back. You got, you got,you've got to do that. You've
got to do if you want the newthing, you've got to get to that
place. There is a neurologicalbackbone to what we're talking
about. There is a neurologicalstructure that we've actually
(18:10):
mentioned before, and it is theneurological structure that
grows when we embrace discomforton a regular basis and you have
to practice this. The Navy SEALsare given a gift. They have a
specific training regimen thatthey have to go through in order
(18:31):
to learn this about themselves.
You have it's harder for us.
You have to, youhave to figure out how to put
yourself in that position tochange yourself. There is no
roadmap. So here is Dr Hubermantalking about this. But I want
(18:51):
you to listen to this and watchthis with the understanding that
what you are what this is whatyou have to pursue, that this is
how you are able to create thatchange.
I'm gonna share a littleneuroscience tidbit, but I think
(19:12):
it's one that you'll appreciate.
Most people don't know this, butthere's a brain structure called
the anterior mid cingulatecortex, as we pointed out
before, that's a noun, it's aname. It doesn't mean anything.
We could call it the CookieMonster, right? But what's
interesting about this brainarea is there now a lot of
dating in humans. That's a mousestudy showing that when people
(19:33):
do something they don't want todo, like add three hours of
exercise per day or per week, orwhen people who are trying to
diet and lose weight resisteating something, right? When
people do anything that they andthis is the important part that
they don't want to do, right,it's not about adding more work.
It's about adding more work thatyou don't want to do. Yes, this
(19:56):
brain area gets bigger. Yeah.
Now here's what's especiallyinteresting about this brain
area to me, and by the way, I'monly learning this recently
because it's new data, butthere's a lot of it. The
anterior mid cingulate cortex issmaller in obese people. It gets
bigger when they diet. It'slarger in athletes, it's
(20:21):
especially large or grows largerin people that see themselves as
challenged and overcome somechallenge, right?
And in people that live a verylong time,
this area keeps its size in manyways. Scientists are starting to
(20:41):
think of the anterior midcingulate cortex, not just as
one of the seats of willpower,right, but perhaps actually the
seat of the will to live. Nowwe're talking and when I learned
about the anterior mid cingulatecortex, I was like almost out of
my seat. And I've been in theneuroscience game since I was
20. We're the same age, and Iwas so pumped, because I've
(21:01):
heard of the amygdala, fearprefrontal cortex, it's planning
and action. I could tell youevery brain area and every I
teach neuroanatomy to medicalstudents, but when I started
seeing the data on the anteriormid cingulate cortex, I was
like, whoa. This is interesting,and all the data point to the
fact that we can build this areaup, but that as quickly as we
(21:24):
build it up, if we don'tcontinue to invest in things
that are hard for us, that wedon't want to do, that's the
part that feels so Goggin esqueto me that we don't want to do,
like, if you love the ice bath,yeah, I love the ice bath. You
go from one minute to 10minutes. Guess what? Your
anterior mid cingulate cortexdid not grow. But if you hate
(21:45):
the cold water, if you're afraidof drowning, and you get into
water and put your head under,then your anterior mids and
survive, then the anterior midcingulate cortex gets bigger.
But if you don't do it the nextday, or if you do it the next
day and you enjoy it because,hey, I did it yesterday. Woo
hoo. Happy me. Merry Christmas.
Is Merry Christmas. Guess what?
(22:07):
The anterior mid single cortexshrinks. The anterior mid single
record that shrinks if you startto enjoy those activities. Now,
the guy that he's talking to,the Huberman is talking to, is
Goggins. He is also an ABC. Sothis is a conversation that is
right in line with what we'retalking about. If you want to
change, if you want the thingthat you've never had, if you
(22:28):
want to be the person you'venever been, if you believe that
there is something for youon the other side of pain,
you have to practice theanterior mid cigarette mid, mid
cingulate cortex and its growth,you have to practice stimulating
that by being uncomfortable.
That means having hardconversations that you don't
(22:52):
want to have, that you hate thewhole time, and doing that again
and again. And when that becomescomfortable, you've got to find
something else that'suncomfortable to do, and you
have to fall in love with beinguncomfortable, and you have to
see the rewards that come frombeing uncomfortable. So when we
talk about your life changing,we talk about you becoming this
new person. When we talk aboutthis idea of of what's on the
(23:14):
other side of this pain, it'snot about getting what you're
trying to get. It's aboutbecoming the person who can get
that 1000 times 1000 times 1000that's the that's the thing.
That's the magic is that youbecome that person. Not that you
get the stuff, not that yourmarriage gets just gets better.
(23:35):
It's that you become better atdealing with the hard parts of
your marriage. It's that youbecome better at navigating the
risky waters ofentrepreneurship. It's not that
you got the one idea winning thelottery is a ticket to
bankruptcy. It's not aboutwinning the lottery. It's about
(23:56):
becoming the kind of person whocan win the lottery over and
over and over again. Thelottery, obviously you can't win
over and over and over again,but you know, I don't know if
you guys were this, if you winthe lottery, you are more likely
to become bankrupt than you areto live a life of luxury.
There's tons of statistics onthis. It does not actually fix
(24:17):
anything, but if you make amillion dollars, you're more
likely to make another milliondollars, because you've become
the person that did that. Youdidn't win the lottery. You
became the person that did that.
And that is the power, that iswhat we're trying to create in
(24:38):
ourselves, to become the personthat can do this over and over
and over again, become theperson that has that extra bit
of willpower to overcomeobstacles over and over and over
again. And we get that wepractice that by putting
ourselves into discomfortconstantly. It's why we love the
metaphor of exercise. That's whywe always come back to it on.
(24:59):
Program, because exercise is avery clear analog to everything
you're trying to accomplish. Youhave to constantly push
yourself. If you start runningthree miles every day,
eventually three miles becomeseasy, and guess what? You'll
start to gain weight again. It'sthat we reported on this on on
the on the radio show beforeit's the chubby spin instructor,
(25:22):
your body adapts if you're doingthe same exercise over and over
and over again. Your mind willadapt if you are in a pattern of
comfort and mollification overand over and over again. So how
do you embrace that? Well, hereis a philosopher, Elaine de
Batol, talking about how toembrace something that the
ancient philosophers know.
(25:43):
I think we regularly have tostart all over again. And I
think you know that old adage,Socrates was asked why he was so
wise, and he was said that hewas so wise because he knew that
he wasn't wise. In other words,ignorance, a capacity to
acknowledge one's ignorance, isat the root cause of
sophisticated thinking that youshould be returning to a kind of
(26:07):
basic ignorance. Remember thestory of Picasso, who went to an
art school in old age, and helooks at some children
scribbling and doing drawings,and he said, You know, when I
was their age, I could paintlike Raphael, and now I'm
learning again how to paint likethem. That's really a story
about giving up the old map andallowing oneself to be ignorant
(26:31):
again. And I think that's a truegift we give to ourselves when
we allow ourselves to say, Youknow what, I don't know very
much at all. I mean, peopleoften say to me, they must say
this to you, you know, peoplesay to me, Oh, you must know so
much about love or death or thisor that. You know, spend all
time thinking, and I rush totell them I literally don't know
(26:51):
anything and I'm not this is notfalse modesty. It's a genuine
sense that with every passingday, I know less. And, you know,
it's not even wisdom, it's justcomedic, really. And every
passing day I know less, I lovethat
(27:12):
you have to. I mean, look, this,this is in every it's, it's part
of philosophy, right? You admityou, you approach every day as
if you know nothing. The sourceof your wisdom is in your lack
of wisdom, approaching faith,approaching God with the faith
of a child. That's it'sbiblical. It's in every major
(27:32):
religion. It's in every majorphilosophy. This idea that you
have to embrace things withnewness, that you have to find
that essence. And it goes backto Everything we've talked about
today. If you want to unlockthat potential, you have to
approach your life. You have toapproach these problems as if
you cannot fail. You have toapproach these problems as
(27:54):
though there you have nothingbut yourself to start with,
right? And you have to approachit as if discomfort is
necessary. Kids are alwaysuncomfortable. We spend the
first half of our livesconstantly putting ourselves in
situations where we have to growas a parent, I'm watching my
(28:17):
kids. They play sports. I watchthem, they're constantly
uncomfortable. They're alwaysmoving one level up and having
to deal with the consequences ofthat. They are always as soon as
they get comfortable withsomething, we put them in a new
situation. Oh, you've masteredseventh grade. It's time for
eighth grade. You've masteredMiddle School. It's time for
high school. You've masteredHigh School, it's time for
college. And then we get to ouradult lives, it's like all
right, you know everything youneed to know now. Now go figure
(28:38):
it out. We lose the roadmap. Westop pushing ourselves we start
to seek comfort. We need tofigure out what it was as a kid
that we were running from, andthen we need to approach that
fear. We need to approach thatdiscomfort with the faith of a
child that we cannot fail. Thatdiscomfort is necessary. The
discomfort is a part of what wehave of life, and the discomfort
(29:02):
is a part of getting us to theplace that we want to be, and we
have to approach that with thewith the willpower of a Navy
SEAL. And the more we do that,the more powerful we become. And
then, guys, we become thatperson that we started this
whole process with. That's it.
That's it. April's asking whenwe get comfortable with being
uncomfortable constantly, whatworks or then does that feel the
(29:24):
same? You need to becomecomfortable with the idea that
you're going to be uncomfortableif you begin to get this is,
again, why the exercise analogyis so good. If you are
comfortable running three miles,you need to run four. It's not
that you are comfortable in yourdiscomfort and that and that
erodes it. It's that okay. Iknow what it feels like to run
(29:46):
three miles has become easy. I'mnot going to get the
cardiovascular benefits fromrunning three miles anymore.
I've got to run four. I've run10. I've walked 10,000 steps
every single day. I. I'vestopped losing weight, and I'm
now, I'm just kind of, I amwhere I am, and I don't get the
cognitive benefits anymore.
(30:06):
Well, it's time to go 12,000steps. That's, that's the thing.
That's, again, that's why thethat's why the exercise analogy
is such a powerful one. April,because it's not that you, if
you fall in love with theexercise and the exercise
becomes easy, then we knowevery, every fitness trainer you
(30:30):
know in the country, from theguy who has barely any
certification to the PhD who isteaching, who's setting all the
policy, knows that you have toembrace the discomfort. You have
to you have to embrace this ideathat if you if you were able to
curl 25 pounds last week, and 25pounds is easy for curling this
week, well then you shouldswitch to 30 pounds. And if 30
(30:52):
pounds is too hard and you'regoing to hurt yourself, go down
to 27.5 but you can't stay at 25pounds if curling 25 that's
again. This is the exerciseanalogy, curling 25 pounds is
really hard when you start, andthen it gets really easy. And we
all know intuitively that if youkeep curling 25 pounds,
eventually it's diminishingreturns. You're not going to see
(31:12):
any more muscle growth, andeventually your muscles will
become more efficient, andyou'll actually see muscle
decline. We know thatintuitively, explicitly. We see
it in the gym. We felt it inourselves. So do it? Switch to
30 pounds. Embrace thatdiscomfort. You can become
comfortable with beinguncomfortable and still get the
benefits of discomfort, butthat's the point. How much are
(31:35):
you willing to look at yourself?
How much are you willing toanalyze that you have been
curling 25 pounds for the last15 years, and you're you want
bigger biceps, metaphorically orliterally. I don't know what
your thing is. Switch to 30pounds. That's my goal for you
guys this week, right? We talkabout taking something out of
here, taking something to workon every single week. Switch to
(31:56):
30 pounds. You've been doing 25pounds long enough. What are you
protecting yourself from thatkeeps you in 25 pounds? Okay,
that's it. And again, I meanthat metaphorically or
literally, depending on who youare. Thank you guys for being a
part of this. We will see younext week. That's it for the
(32:16):
show today. Thank you guys somuch for listening. If you like
the show, please rate commentand subscribe on Apple podcast,
Spotify, Stitcher, wherever youget your podcast, it helps us
out a lot. If you guys rate andcomment, it really does. It
helps boost our coverage. And ifyou liked today's episode, share
with a friend. If you share witha friend, it doubles our reach
and allows us to continue to dothis podcast, because
(32:39):
ultimately, we do the show foryou guys. So thank you so much
for listening. You.
Gib, hello and welcome to another episode of the
podcast. I'm Gib Gerard herewith another special
transformation, Tuesday episodeof the podcast. Now every
Tuesday, John and I, John or I,one of us, or both of us. Most
times, both of us, we do aspecial zoom broadcast called
transformation Tuesday. Now ifyou want to find out more about
watching that live on Zoom, youcan find out more@tesh.com we do
(00:32):
it every week. We also do one onThursday. You can sign up for
both of those callsagain@tesh.com but every once in
a while, I want to bring youguys the audio from one of those
one of those shows, one of thosebroadcasts, one of those
meetings, one of thoseconferences, and today is one of
those days. So here, withoutfurther ado, is this week's
transformation Tuesday.
Everything you need to know toget you from the place you are
(00:55):
to the place you want to be. Allright, everybody, hello and
welcome to transformation.
Tuesday. I'm Gib Gerard. As youcan tell, I'm in my studio at my
house. I'm in studio. It's myoffice off my garage. John is
out again today. He is travelingfor some promotional stuff, but
(01:16):
I got some good stuff for youtoday, for those of you that
aren't aware, yesterday was the50th anniversary of the sinking
of the Edmund Fitzgerald. So Ihave been listening to Gordon
Lightfoot for like the lastweek, pretty aggressively, not
(01:38):
that song, the wreck of theEdmund Fitzgerald. Why I told
you what I was talking about,Chrissy, and then you go to a
random Gordon Lightfoot song.
How dare you the wreck of theEdmund Fitzgerald was what I've
been listening to, Jeanette inOhio. That's where the Edmund
Fitzgerald was was headed. Andif she'd put 15 miles behind
her, she could have made whitefish Bay, but she didn't.
Anyway, I've been obsessed. I'vebeen obsessed like I've been
(02:01):
reading about the wreck. I'vebeen watching the old NBC
footage of of the Coast Guardsearch for it. I don't know why.
I've just gotten I like thesong. I like storytelling in the
song, and I've been I've beenobsessed with it anyway. That's
what's going on with me. Here'swhat's going on in your neck of
the woods, the today. Yesterday,we are going to focus on a
(02:24):
little bit more about the painof change and a couple of things
about what it takes for us tochange, what we have to what we
have to admit to ourselves, whatwe have to put ourselves through
if we want to get to that newplace, right? We're all here. I
say this every week. We're allhere. And I am, I am encouraged
(02:46):
every week that I work on thisshow and on the Thursday
broadcast, I'm encouraged by howmuch, how much this idea of
thinking about change forces meto consider my life and forces
me to consider the things that Iwant to accomplish. So we're all
(03:07):
here, myself included, becausewe want to accomplish something.
We want to change somethingabout our lives. We want to be
that better version ofourselves. We want to get from
the place we are to the placethat we want to be. And so today
we are going to talk about whatsome of that takes, why we want,
why we and I always, I call ithomeostasis, why we have this
(03:30):
tendency to stay the same, whywe have this tendency to make
choices the same, choices overand over and over again, even
though they aren't getting uswhat we want. I've said it
before. It's a great line. Youcan't get something you've never
had. You can't be someone you'venever been. If you don't do
something you've never done, youcan't you got to do something
(03:50):
you've never done if you want tochange your life. Otherwise, if
you keep doing what you've beendoing, you will stay the same.
That is how that works. Why dowe keep doing it? Why do we keep
staying the same? We all wantsomething else we all want.
Maybe it's more, maybe it'smaybe it's different, maybe it's
(04:13):
it doesn't it's not just aboutcareer, it's about
relationships, it's abouteverything. So here is the
Turkish psychology site,psychologist Gib or mate,
talking about why, how our brainworks when we choose, when we
choose pain of staying the sameover the freedom.
(04:35):
Why is it that we're so addictedto things staying the same or
things not changing like thatseems to be a core human
addiction.
Well, a therapist once said tome that it has to do with the
nature of the mind that you'rereferring to, that if your
parents didn't know or hold you,you developed the mind you hold
yourself with. So you findsafety in this mind that you
created. And so the human mind,the ordinary egoic human mind,
(04:56):
is basically a defensivestructure. It's in significant
ways. Is it's a response topain. That's not all it is, but
in significant ways, it's aresponse to pain. It's a fate of
pain, and it's designed to keepyou from experiencing pain. So
it's worried and it's anxiousand it's defensive. So when it
comes to change andvulnerability, the mind wants to
defend against it. And so it'sit comes out of fear, which
(05:17):
comes out of childhoodexperience where the pain that
you had wasn't held, thereforeyou develop these mind
structures to keep you fromexperiencing it. And I mean, one
of them, clearly, is addiction.
And you know, Keith Richards,the world's most famous former
heroin addict, the Rolling Stoneguitars said about addiction,
for example, his heroin use thatthe contortions you go through
just not to be yourself for afew hours. Why would somebody
(05:39):
not want to be themselvesbecause it hurts so much at some
point to be yourself, and then amind comes in and tries to
protect you from that pain ofbeing yourself with its ideas
and its beliefs and itscertainties and its endless
desires and its artificialneeds, and it's afraid to let
go. If I let go, I'll be helpedthis child again, but the mind
(05:59):
large is a defensive structure,and then often will react that
way.
Okay, let's unpack some of that,because there's, there's a lot
that he's saying there. One ofthe things I want to start with
is the nature of the questionitself. It's a core human
addiction that we want to staythe same, right? And I mentioned
(06:22):
before this idea that at itscore, change comes when the pain
of staying the same is greaterthan the pain of change. But we
have a society. We have a wehave a system right now that is
structured to keep us the sameand to make the pain of change
(06:44):
even greater, and we feed thiswith addictions. And the
addictions are, they are, arechemical, right? We'll and
again, I say this is somebodywho does not mind a glass of
wine or two at night. I say thisis somebody who drinks martinis.
We have alcohol is one of ouraddictions. We have tons of
(07:07):
drugs that we use, sometimesprescription, sometimes
recreational, but we are numbingourselves to those moments of
boredom where we have to livewith ourselves and acknowledge
the pain that we are runningfrom on a daily basis, and what
that does is it keeps us fromfeeling the pain of staying the
(07:28):
same, which is the mostmotivating factor in getting us
to change, because we if we canget that pain of staying the
same, greater than the pain ofchange, that's when we are
motivated to actually change Ourlives. But we become addicted.
We scroll, we watch and listento and consume news that makes
us feel better about the placethat we're in. It makes us feel
(07:49):
like it's not our fault, and wedo those things because it keeps
us from feeling the pain of ourchoices, the pain of who we are,
the presence of who we are atany moment, and that keeps us
from changing. That is how westay in what you know, in that
(08:10):
negative homeostasis, that placeof our whole life is designed to
keep us in the same spot, and wejust keep grinding on that, on
that wheel until the end of ourlives. So if we want to change,
we have to be honest withourselves. We have to figure
out, what is the pain that I'mavoiding that's keeping me in
these same patterns, and thatrequires a ton of self
(08:33):
reflection. I'm saying thismatter of factly because the
idea is simple, the process ishard, the solution is simple. Do
the things you've never done?
Embrace discomfort, lean intowho you are right now. Do the I
mean, we say it. I say it everyweek. Do the journaling, do the
(08:55):
prayer, do the meditation time?
Do it? Sit with yourself inboredom. Sit with yourself
without mollifying any of yourpain that you are experiencing,
so that you can be honest withyourself about who you are,
about what pain you are avoidingand what you actually want. I'm
(09:20):
going to pivot right now to someof the truths about change. This
is Jocko Willink. He is a formerNavy SEAL, and now he sells
supplements and is a podcaster,like a lot of people, talking
about how to enforce change. Doyou actually want to do this or
not?
(09:40):
Do you actually want to do thisor not? Because if you actually
want to do it, what's going tostop you nothing, and if you
don't really want to do it,what's going to stop you? Just
about anything that comes up,just about any obstacle that
gets in your way, becomes anexcuse. It becomes a reason. It
comes a rationale for notproceeding down that path.
You. Right? How badly do youwant it?
(10:06):
How much are you tellingyourself, oh gosh, I really just
hope that this meeting todaycancels because I'm not ready.
I'm too tired. I can't do it. Ican't I can't live like this. I
don't want to. I just, I just, Iwould love, I'd love to just sit
and there's a new episode ofToddlers and Tiaras that I want
to watch. I don't know whateverlove island I want to watch.
Love island I don't want to talkto my spouse and deal with some
(10:29):
of the issues that are holdingour marriage back. I would like
to watch love Island andfantasize about or judge people
who are behaving differently. Ifwe want it, if we want a better
marriage, if we want a betterrelationship with our children,
if we want a better life, if wewant those things that we think
(10:53):
that we are capable of, but thatwe've never pushed ourselves
into, we got to do it. We haveto be honest with ourselves and
experience that pain, and you'vegot to get yourself to that
mindset. And this is why, look,why are so many Navy SEALs
influencers? Why are so manyNavy SEALs quoted by by
(11:14):
motivational experts? It'sbecause there is something about
the training, the Navy SEALtraining that acknowledges this
idea of pushing yourself beyondwhat you thought possible. That
is the mystique of the NavySeal, right? It is. It's not. I
mean, look, it's an elitefighting force, and that's cool.
(11:35):
But we we look at that Navy SEALtraining because we see those
images of them carrying logs onthe beach, we see the images of
and we understand how farthey're swimming, how much time
they're spending in the ocean,what they put their bodies
through, not because we careabout strategic and tactical
readiness when it comes to war,but because what we see in those
(11:56):
individuals, and what the Navyis trying to find in those
individuals, Is thatunderstanding of where the
limits are and how to put pushpast them, that ability to put
themselves into situations thatcould or should kill them, but
that they have the willpower toput one foot in front of the
other and keep going.
(12:17):
That's why we lionize NavySEALs.
I mean, you may have a differentexplanation, but that is my
take. That is why we let NavySEALs become influencers. Jocko
Willink is just one of many. I'msorry I'm blanking on these on
the other ones, but it's why wedo it. It's why we want to
listen to them. Oh, Navy SEALtraining, there's something to
(12:39):
that. There's this guy. He is aformer Navy SEAL, and now he is
a professional storyteller. Sohe is, he is a he tells these
strange stories on a podcast, onYouTube, on Instagram, my kids
and I have to find the ones thatare not too gory. It's like true
(13:00):
crime and then scary stories.
His name is Mr. Ballin, and heis a former Navy SEAL, and he
tells these stories, and Ihappen to love them. They are a
little bit dark, a little bitstrange. And again, I my kids
like him, but I have to find theclean ones. So I listened to it
a ton so that I can figure outwhich episodes I could listen to
with my kids. They like themystery here he is talking about
exactly what I was just saying,the mindset shift that is
(13:25):
required to survive Navy SEALtraining, and how and on the
other side of it, I'm gonna talkabout what that means for
us. When I was in SEAL training,everyone thinks the hard part is
at the beginning of training,the hardest part comes about
halfway through training. It's asix month long. Course, halfway
through, you're in theunderwater phase. And by this
point, statistically, everybodyin your class is going to
(13:47):
graduate despite the difficultyof this test. It's the moment
you all are literally forced tohave this moment, right? It's
horrifying. There's this testcalled pull competency. They
tell you, just go under scubatanks, and the instructors are
gonna come down. They're justkind of screw with you, and
you're gonna follow you're gonnafollow procedures that you're
taught to basically, after theyfinish tumbling you around and
turning your air off, you goback on your knees, and they're
(14:10):
watching you the whole time. Andyou follow these steps. You
reach back, you turn on yourair, you check your J belt, you
check your straps. It's aprocedure that no matter what
happens to you underwater, youreset. You follow the procedure,
but each problem that they giveyou gets progressively harder to
fix, and so each time someone'scome down on you, you have to go
into the fetal position and justwait. You're going about 60
seconds to 90 seconds with noair. And then you need to follow
(14:31):
the procedure. So you can seeyou become more and more
hypercapnic. And it's this testof staying calm and following
the procedures despite literallybeing on the precipice of
passing out, right? People callit simulated drownings, and you
get four attempts at it. And soI went in, and I'm doing the
test, failed it miserably fourtimes in a row. Wasn't even
close. I actually was the guythat they had to put a pink
piece of tape around my ankle.
And it wasn't even to humiliateme. It's I would get so panicked
(14:54):
I would push off the bottom ofthe pool and go to the surface,
but we're breathing. Mixed gas.
And if you do that, you can riskrupturing your lungs with air
bubbles. And so there's like,standby divers there to keep me
from panicking and rocketing tothe surface. And so I failed
four times in a row, and as aresult, I actually got rolled
out of the class I was in. Andthey're like, look, we're gonna
give you one more shot, andyou're gonna leave this class,
(15:15):
go to the next class, and youcan try again with that class.
And so we get to test day, and Ifailed the first two attempts,
not out of panic, out ofprocedural problems. And so I
fail on Friday. There's two moreattempts left, and it's on that
Monday, and if I don't passthem, not only will it humiliate
me, but I'm dropped from SEALtraining. Yeah, that weekend was
horrible, because I'm thinkingabout this test. On Monday
(15:37):
morning, I got to the pool deck,and I was so nervous all
weekend, they make you sit withyour back to the pool, and they
made me go last that day, andthen when it was my turn, I just
had this mental shift occurwhere I was like, holy, I'm
gonna die in that pool before Ifail this test. Yeah, and I got
in the water and it was like,calm comes over me, and I begin
this test. And it didn't matterhow long I went without air. It
(15:58):
didn't matter what the problemwas. I had fully committed to
this concept of I will literallydie before I fail this test.
Yeah, and I passed, and it wasso easy, and it showed me that
there's a point where you canconvince yourself that your mind
can sort of override all thediscomfort and you can basically
do whateveryou want. That's it. That's what
we're talking about. Guys. Uh,sorry, they believe the cussing.
(16:19):
So, you know, i That's why Ileft it in. But that's what
we're talking about. You get toa place where there is nothing
if you are committed to beingthis new person, if you are
committed to changing yourcircumstances, your
relationships, your finances,your career, whatever it is,
(16:41):
whatever goal that you've had onthe back burner for a long time
that caused you to sign up forthis. How committed are you? Are
you Navy SEAL? Committed? Thatis the mystique. That is the
fascination is that they all getto that place. And what Mr.
Ballin is describing there isnot unique to him. It is pretty
universal for people who havecompleted seals training. It's
(17:03):
that you get to the place whereyou understand what that mindset
shift is. To say there is nogoing back. I have burned the
ships. There is only forward.
There is complete this or dieand what that's what SEAL
(17:23):
training provides, is thecontext for you to get to that
place, hopefully with safety,so that they know, okay, I want
to actually die.
Are you doing that? Are you? Areyou willing to push yourself
into that place where this thingthat you want there is no
(17:47):
turning back. You got, you got,you've got to do that. You've
got to do if you want the newthing, you've got to get to that
place. There is a neurologicalbackbone to what we're talking
about. There is a neurologicalstructure that we've actually
(18:10):
mentioned before, and it is theneurological structure that
grows when we embrace discomforton a regular basis and you have
to practice this. The Navy SEALsare given a gift. They have a
specific training regimen thatthey have to go through in order
(18:31):
to learn this about themselves.
You have it's harder for us.
You have to, youhave to figure out how to put
yourself in that position tochange yourself. There is no
roadmap. So here is Dr Hubermantalking about this. But I want
(18:51):
you to listen to this and watchthis with the understanding that
what you are what this is whatyou have to pursue, that this is
how you are able to create thatchange.
I'm gonna share a littleneuroscience tidbit, but I think
(19:12):
it's one that you'll appreciate.
Most people don't know this, butthere's a brain structure called
the anterior mid cingulatecortex, as we pointed out
before, that's a noun, it's aname. It doesn't mean anything.
We could call it the CookieMonster, right? But what's
interesting about this brainarea is there now a lot of
dating in humans. That's a mousestudy showing that when people
(19:33):
do something they don't want todo, like add three hours of
exercise per day or per week, orwhen people who are trying to
diet and lose weight resisteating something, right? When
people do anything that they andthis is the important part that
they don't want to do, right,it's not about adding more work.
It's about adding more work thatyou don't want to do. Yes, this
(19:56):
brain area gets bigger. Yeah.
Now here's what's especiallyinteresting about this brain
area to me, and by the way, I'monly learning this recently
because it's new data, butthere's a lot of it. The
anterior mid cingulate cortex issmaller in obese people. It gets
bigger when they diet. It'slarger in athletes, it's
(20:21):
especially large or grows largerin people that see themselves as
challenged and overcome somechallenge, right?
And in people that live a verylong time,
this area keeps its size in manyways. Scientists are starting to
(20:41):
think of the anterior midcingulate cortex, not just as
one of the seats of willpower,right, but perhaps actually the
seat of the will to live. Nowwe're talking and when I learned
about the anterior mid cingulatecortex, I was like almost out of
my seat. And I've been in theneuroscience game since I was
20. We're the same age, and Iwas so pumped, because I've
(21:01):
heard of the amygdala, fearprefrontal cortex, it's planning
and action. I could tell youevery brain area and every I
teach neuroanatomy to medicalstudents, but when I started
seeing the data on the anteriormid cingulate cortex, I was
like, whoa. This is interesting,and all the data point to the
fact that we can build this areaup, but that as quickly as we
(21:24):
build it up, if we don'tcontinue to invest in things
that are hard for us, that wedon't want to do, that's the
part that feels so Goggin esqueto me that we don't want to do,
like, if you love the ice bath,yeah, I love the ice bath. You
go from one minute to 10minutes. Guess what? Your
anterior mid cingulate cortexdid not grow. But if you hate
(21:45):
the cold water, if you're afraidof drowning, and you get into
water and put your head under,then your anterior mids and
survive, then the anterior midcingulate cortex gets bigger.
But if you don't do it the nextday, or if you do it the next
day and you enjoy it because,hey, I did it yesterday. Woo
hoo. Happy me. Merry Christmas.
Is Merry Christmas. Guess what?
(22:07):
The anterior mid single cortexshrinks. The anterior mid single
record that shrinks if you startto enjoy those activities. Now,
the guy that he's talking to,the Huberman is talking to, is
Goggins. He is also an ABC. Sothis is a conversation that is
right in line with what we'retalking about. If you want to
change, if you want the thingthat you've never had, if you
(22:28):
want to be the person you'venever been, if you believe that
there is something for youon the other side of pain,
you have to practice theanterior mid cigarette mid, mid
cingulate cortex and its growth,you have to practice stimulating
that by being uncomfortable.
That means having hardconversations that you don't
(22:52):
want to have, that you hate thewhole time, and doing that again
and again. And when that becomescomfortable, you've got to find
something else that'suncomfortable to do, and you
have to fall in love with beinguncomfortable, and you have to
see the rewards that come frombeing uncomfortable. So when we
talk about your life changing,we talk about you becoming this
new person. When we talk aboutthis idea of of what's on the
(23:14):
other side of this pain, it'snot about getting what you're
trying to get. It's aboutbecoming the person who can get
that 1000 times 1000 times 1000that's the that's the thing.
That's the magic is that youbecome that person. Not that you
get the stuff, not that yourmarriage gets just gets better.
(23:35):
It's that you become better atdealing with the hard parts of
your marriage. It's that youbecome better at navigating the
risky waters ofentrepreneurship. It's not that
you got the one idea winning thelottery is a ticket to
bankruptcy. It's not aboutwinning the lottery. It's about
(23:56):
becoming the kind of person whocan win the lottery over and
over and over again. Thelottery, obviously you can't win
over and over and over again,but you know, I don't know if
you guys were this, if you winthe lottery, you are more likely
to become bankrupt than you areto live a life of luxury.
There's tons of statistics onthis. It does not actually fix
(24:17):
anything, but if you make amillion dollars, you're more
likely to make another milliondollars, because you've become
the person that did that. Youdidn't win the lottery. You
became the person that did that.
And that is the power, that iswhat we're trying to create in
(24:38):
ourselves, to become the personthat can do this over and over
and over again, become theperson that has that extra bit
of willpower to overcomeobstacles over and over and over
again. And we get that wepractice that by putting
ourselves into discomfortconstantly. It's why we love the
metaphor of exercise. That's whywe always come back to it on.
(24:59):
Program, because exercise is avery clear analog to everything
you're trying to accomplish. Youhave to constantly push
yourself. If you start runningthree miles every day,
eventually three miles becomeseasy, and guess what? You'll
start to gain weight again. It'sthat we reported on this on on
the on the radio show beforeit's the chubby spin instructor,
(25:22):
your body adapts if you're doingthe same exercise over and over
and over again. Your mind willadapt if you are in a pattern of
comfort and mollification overand over and over again. So how
do you embrace that? Well, hereis a philosopher, Elaine de
Batol, talking about how toembrace something that the
ancient philosophers know.
(25:43):
I think we regularly have tostart all over again. And I
think you know that old adage,Socrates was asked why he was so
wise, and he was said that hewas so wise because he knew that
he wasn't wise. In other words,ignorance, a capacity to
acknowledge one's ignorance, isat the root cause of
sophisticated thinking that youshould be returning to a kind of
(26:07):
basic ignorance. Remember thestory of Picasso, who went to an
art school in old age, and helooks at some children
scribbling and doing drawings,and he said, You know, when I
was their age, I could paintlike Raphael, and now I'm
learning again how to paint likethem. That's really a story
about giving up the old map andallowing oneself to be ignorant
(26:31):
again. And I think that's a truegift we give to ourselves when
we allow ourselves to say, Youknow what, I don't know very
much at all. I mean, peopleoften say to me, they must say
this to you, you know, peoplesay to me, Oh, you must know so
much about love or death or thisor that. You know, spend all
time thinking, and I rush totell them I literally don't know
(26:51):
anything and I'm not this is notfalse modesty. It's a genuine
sense that with every passingday, I know less. And, you know,
it's not even wisdom, it's justcomedic, really. And every
passing day I know less, I lovethat
(27:12):
you have to. I mean, look, this,this is in every it's, it's part
of philosophy, right? You admityou, you approach every day as
if you know nothing. The sourceof your wisdom is in your lack
of wisdom, approaching faith,approaching God with the faith
of a child. That's it'sbiblical. It's in every major
(27:32):
religion. It's in every majorphilosophy. This idea that you
have to embrace things withnewness, that you have to find
that essence. And it goes backto Everything we've talked about
today. If you want to unlockthat potential, you have to
approach your life. You have toapproach these problems as if
you cannot fail. You have toapproach these problems as
(27:54):
though there you have nothingbut yourself to start with,
right? And you have to approachit as if discomfort is
necessary. Kids are alwaysuncomfortable. We spend the
first half of our livesconstantly putting ourselves in
situations where we have to growas a parent, I'm watching my
(28:17):
kids. They play sports. I watchthem, they're constantly
uncomfortable. They're alwaysmoving one level up and having
to deal with the consequences ofthat. They are always as soon as
they get comfortable withsomething, we put them in a new
situation. Oh, you've masteredseventh grade. It's time for
eighth grade. You've masteredMiddle School. It's time for
high school. You've masteredHigh School, it's time for
college. And then we get to ouradult lives, it's like all
right, you know everything youneed to know now. Now go figure
(28:38):
it out. We lose the roadmap. Westop pushing ourselves we start
to seek comfort. We need tofigure out what it was as a kid
that we were running from, andthen we need to approach that
fear. We need to approach thatdiscomfort with the faith of a
child that we cannot fail. Thatdiscomfort is necessary. The
discomfort is a part of what wehave of life, and the discomfort
(29:02):
is a part of getting us to theplace that we want to be, and we
have to approach that with thewith the willpower of a Navy
SEAL. And the more we do that,the more powerful we become. And
then, guys, we become thatperson that we started this
whole process with. That's it.
That's it. April's asking whenwe get comfortable with being
uncomfortable constantly, whatworks or then does that feel the
(29:24):
same? You need to becomecomfortable with the idea that
you're going to be uncomfortableif you begin to get this is,
again, why the exercise analogyis so good. If you are
comfortable running three miles,you need to run four. It's not
that you are comfortable in yourdiscomfort and that and that
erodes it. It's that okay. Iknow what it feels like to run
(29:46):
three miles has become easy. I'mnot going to get the
cardiovascular benefits fromrunning three miles anymore.
I've got to run four. I've run10. I've walked 10,000 steps
every single day. I. I'vestopped losing weight, and I'm
now, I'm just kind of, I amwhere I am, and I don't get the
cognitive benefits anymore.
(30:06):
Well, it's time to go 12,000steps. That's, that's the thing.
That's, again, that's why thethat's why the exercise analogy
is such a powerful one. April,because it's not that you, if
you fall in love with theexercise and the exercise
becomes easy, then we knowevery, every fitness trainer you
(30:30):
know in the country, from theguy who has barely any
certification to the PhD who isteaching, who's setting all the
policy, knows that you have toembrace the discomfort. You have
to you have to embrace this ideathat if you if you were able to
curl 25 pounds last week, and 25pounds is easy for curling this
week, well then you shouldswitch to 30 pounds. And if 30
(30:52):
pounds is too hard and you'regoing to hurt yourself, go down
to 27.5 but you can't stay at 25pounds if curling 25 that's
again. This is the exerciseanalogy, curling 25 pounds is
really hard when you start, andthen it gets really easy. And we
all know intuitively that if youkeep curling 25 pounds,
eventually it's diminishingreturns. You're not going to see
(31:12):
any more muscle growth, andeventually your muscles will
become more efficient, andyou'll actually see muscle
decline. We know thatintuitively, explicitly. We see
it in the gym. We felt it inourselves. So do it? Switch to
30 pounds. Embrace thatdiscomfort. You can become
comfortable with beinguncomfortable and still get the
benefits of discomfort, butthat's the point. How much are
(31:35):
you willing to look at yourself?
How much are you willing toanalyze that you have been
curling 25 pounds for the last15 years, and you're you want
bigger biceps, metaphorically orliterally. I don't know what
your thing is. Switch to 30pounds. That's my goal for you
guys this week, right? We talkabout taking something out of
here, taking something to workon every single week. Switch to
(31:56):
30 pounds. You've been doing 25pounds long enough. What are you
protecting yourself from thatkeeps you in 25 pounds? Okay,
that's it. And again, I meanthat metaphorically or
literally, depending on who youare. Thank you guys for being a
part of this. We will see younext week. That's it for the
(32:16):
show today. Thank you guys somuch for listening. If you like
the show, please rate commentand subscribe on Apple podcast,
Spotify, Stitcher, wherever youget your podcast, it helps us
out a lot. If you guys rate andcomment, it really does. It
helps boost our coverage. And ifyou liked today's episode, share
with a friend. If you share witha friend, it doubles our reach
and allows us to continue to dothis podcast, because
(32:39):
ultimately, we do the show foryou guys. So thank you so much
for listening. You.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com