0143 Female Led Relationships: What Is Subspace? A Real FLR Couple Talks Through It

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Okay, full transparency? I don’t fully understand subspace. Not in the technical, kink-encyclopedia way. And that’s exactly why we hit record on this one—from our camper, with my subbie by my side—to talk through what it means for us.

In this episode, we unpack what subspace looks like from a real-world, real-relationship perspective. This isn’t textbook BDSM theory. It’s about feeling it out (literally and emotionally), recognizing what it might look like in everyday FLR life, and realizing that you don’t need to get it “right” to start exploring.

We also talk about:

• Flogging for the first time (spoiler: I loved it)
• The struggle of noise, schedules, and migraines
• Domspace and why I might be avoiding it
• MommyDom feels… and how I’m working through the guilt of being a soft-hearted boss bitch

If you’re navigating power exchange, learning what turns you on, or just trying to figure out what the hell “subspace” actually feels like—you’re not alone. And I hope this episode makes you feel seen.

Key Points We Talked About:

• What “subspace” technically is… and how it really shows up in our dynamic
• Why wearing a cage might be a form of low-key subspace (yep, I said it)
• Domspace: is it real? Am I avoiding it? Is it my next breakthrough?
• What happens when you mix floggers, photo shoots, and a surprise moment of connection
• How I’m still growing into this lifestyle (and still sometimes feel weird about being too bossy)
• Why caregiving, humor, and guilt sometimes show up in my dominant headspace
• Letting go of shame and learning to own what this relationship structure really gives us

Got a favorite blog post or book about subspace or Domspace? Send it my way—I want to learn more, and I’d love to hear what has resonated with you. Seriously.

Also, if you’re curious about the deeper side of FLR—beyond the cage and into the connection—you’ll love what I share on Patreon. 

And don't forget to check out our unfiltered content on Clapper (@KrystineKellogg) and our day-to-day tiny home adventure on @Uncompa

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