0506 Female Led Relationships: The Importance of Money Matters

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Today we’re diving into one of the most overlooked—but absolutely crucial—parts of any FLR dynamic: financial control.
Who holds the money? Who decides how it gets spent? And how do we build structure around money without turning it into a battlefield?

Spoiler alert: I hold the debit card. And it’s not just about power—it’s about respect, ritual, and responsibility.

What I Talk About in This Episode:

• Why dominance isn’t just in the play—it’s in the practice
• Real-life examples from our FLR money rituals
• How communication builds trust around finances
• What to do when your sub tops from the bottom (and how to recover)
• Weekly money check-ins as emotional regulation tools
• Chore-based point systems that build structure without infantilizing
• How I reclaimed my power after years of being the “default manager”
• The deep emotional empowerment that comes from owning the finances

“You don’t have to be a CPA to run an FLR household. You just need trust, clarity, and the confidence to say, ‘This is what’s best for us—and I’m deciding it.’”“We forget that holding the money is a kink for some of us. It’s symbolic. It’s ritual. And it’s real fucking power.”

Five Tips for Starting a Financial Control Dynamic:

1. Start with a conversation, not a command. Ask, but be firm.
2. Define clear categories. Needs, wants, fun, rituals.
3. Set financial rituals. Weekly check-ins, allowance transfers, updates.
4. Use symbolic tools. Apps, charts, envelopes, or even a ritual wallet.
5. Reinforce with structure. Consistency is where confidence is built.

Listener Invitation:

Got rituals around money? Creative systems that work for your FLR?
Tell me. I want to hear it all. Your ideas may inspire an upcoming episode (confidentiality always respected).

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• DM me on socials
• Or join

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