May 1, 2024 • 10 mins
Welcome to another episode of "Landing Imperfect," where today we delve into the intricate relationship between ADHD and sleep. Jen Lander, shares her personal struggles with falling asleep and staying asleep while managing ADHD. From her husband's effortless slumber to her own racing thoughts at night, Jen gives us an intimate look into the complexities of sleep for those who live with ADHD. She discusses how executive functioning challenges, organizational difficulties, and neurotransmitter imbalances can disrupt sleep patterns, and she touches on conditions like delayed sleep phase syndrome and sleep apnea that are prevalent among those with ADHD. Jen also offers a wealth of practical advice, from establishing a calming bedtime routine to exploring light therapy and mindfulness. Join her as we unpack these issues and discover strategies to improve sleep and overall well-being for those affected by ADHD.
00:00 Melatonin helps sleep; ADHD may affect production.
03:48 ADHD can lead to sleep and stress issues.
08:43 Exercise caution and seek professional guidance. Be patient.
10:23 Share blog post, join email list, access PDF.
Follow Jen:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.lander/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.butram/
Resources:
Landing Imperfect Website
https://landingimperfect.godaddysites.com/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So my husband falls asleep intwo seconds and I'm laying
(00:03):
awake, trying my best to call mybrain enough so that I can fall
asleep.
I've gotten frustrated too manytimes with him around bedtime.
If he falls asleep and I'mworking so hard to fall asleep.
Then he wakes up for a secondand wants to talk.
Even that little bit ofconversation is enough to re
stimulate my brain.
And then I feel like I'mstarting all over again.
(00:28):
So today I want to talk abouttrying to sleep when you're
someone who lives with ADHD,let's be honest, sleep and ADHD
often have a complicatedrelationship.
So we might struggle to winddown at night.
Our brains race with a millionthoughts at bedtime, or maybe
we're falling asleep easily, butstaying asleep feels impossible.
I have trouble falling andstaying asleep, so it takes me a
(00:50):
little while to wind down tofall asleep.
And then once I'm asleep, I willwake up several times in the
middle of the night, but I canfall back asleep pretty quickly.
When people ask me how my sleepis.
I usually say fine, because it'sall I've known.
I've just learned things alongthe way that have helped improve
my sleep.
(01:11):
And I'm going to be sharing someof those things with you.
So.
My sleep still.
Isn't perfect, but it's muchbetter than it's than it's been
in the past.
My brain takes a little bit oftime, like I was saying to wind
down at night.
So there's a few reasons whythose of us with ADHD have
difficulty with our sleeppattern.
One of those reasons has to dowith the challenges that we have
(01:33):
with executive functioning.
So that's things like planning,prioritizing, and sticking to a
routine.
This makes it hard to establisha consistent sleep schedule,
which is a key factor for goodsleep hygiene.
Organization that can also bedifficult for people who have
ADHD.
So having a cluttered sleepenvironment can worsen sleep
(01:54):
problems.
And if you're someone who hastrouble with organization, this
can also make it hard to keepyour bedroom quiet, dark, and
free from distractions.
When it comes to focusing andpaying attention.
People with ADHD, have adeficiency in dopamine and
norepinephrine, which plays arole in our ability to engage.
(02:15):
The same as someone who isneuro-typical.
So those imbalances can lead toracing, thoughts, to difficulty
shutting down our brain at nightand restlessness that disrupts
our sleep.
Melatonin is a hormone thathelps regulate our sleep wake
cycle.
There have been studies thatsuggest some people with ADHD
(02:36):
may have issues with melatoninproduction.
Which makes it harder to fallasleep and stay asleep.
Okay.
So my husband falls asleep intwo seconds and I'm laying
awake, trying my best to call mybrain enough so that I can fall
asleep.
I've gotten frustrated too manytimes with him around bedtime.
If he falls asleep and I'mworking so hard to fall asleep.
Then he wakes up for a secondand wants to talk.
(02:59):
Even that little bit ofconversation is enough to re
stimulate my brain.
And then I feel like I'mstarting all over again.
I'm like, I understand that youcan fall asleep, wake up, talk,
fall back asleep with noproblem.
But your girl over here.
It's really putting in someeffort to do what you can do.
And second, so don't be talkingto me, sir.
(03:21):
Okay.
Um, we also have somethingthat's called delayed sleep
phase syndrome.
So this means your natural sleepwake cycle is shifted to later.
So you might not feel tireduntil well, past midnight,
making early mornings.
Uh, constant battle.
I had this one teacher in the10th grade that told me if
(03:42):
school started at 10:00 AM, thenI'd be pretty good.
And she wasn't lying.
She hit the nail on the head.
Um, actually I'd prefer a schoolwould have started at noon, but
I mean, I got her point, so.
This is also.
Another reason why, um, peoplewith ADHD can thrive so well as
entrepreneurs because clockingin somewhere for someone else
(04:03):
early in the morning is tortureus for someone struggling with
all of these things.
And I know this because I did itfor years and I hated every
second of it.
So people with ADHD, oftenexperience higher levels of
anxiety and stress, which cansignificantly impact their sleep
quality.
These worries can keep you up atnight and make it harder to
(04:25):
relax and feeling easilyrejected or criticized.
I mean, those things can lead torumination and difficulty
letting go of negative thoughtsat night, which obviously is
further going to disrupt yoursleep too.
People with ADHD, have a nervoussystem that's more easily
stimulated than others.
So this can lead to difficultyquieting your mind and your body
(04:49):
for sleep.
When you, even, when you feeltired in ADHD can also.
Co-occur with sleep disorderslike restless legs syndrome.
This condition causes thisirresistible urge to move your
legs, which often worsens atnight.
So restless leg is more commonin people who have ADHD and
that, um, and that obviously isgoing to keep you up much later
(05:12):
into the night.
And then there's sleep apneatoo.
So this is a sleep disorder thatcauses pauses and breathing
throughout the night.
And that leads to thisfragmented sleep and daytime
fatigue too.
Uh, sleep apnea is moreprevalent and people who have
ADHD.
The, the lack of sleep throwsthis wrench into everything.
(05:33):
I mean, we start to feel foggy.
We struggle to focus and ouremotional regulation can take a
hit to.
These issues can then make iteven harder to manage our ADHD
symptoms and guess what?
Get a good night's sleep.
Right.
Talk about a vicious cycle.
I mean, that's it right there.
So there's some suggestions thatI have for you on things that
(05:56):
have worked for me, things thatI tell my patients and things
that I believe can work for you.
If you give this a real shot,number one.
Is create a calming bedtimeroutine.
So dim the lights avoid screensfor at least an hour before
bedtime, you could read a bookand not a stimulating book.
One that is a little bit on thedrier side.
(06:17):
Maybe.
And take a warm bath or practicecalming, stretches, and then
next we have light therapy.
If you struggle with delayedsleep phase, using a light
therapy box in the morning canhelp regulate your circadian
rhythm.
So make sure this is okay withyour doctor.
First, I use a light therapylamp in the mornings when I'm
(06:38):
putting on my makeup and doingmy hair.
I would recommend 15 to 30minutes, but nothing compares to
real sunlight.
So if you have that available toyou, then I would highly
recommend you spending at least10 minutes outside.
First thing in the morning totake advantage of that sunlight.
It makes a huge difference inyour sleep cycle.
So give that a shot.
Third thing you could do ismindfulness, meditation, deep
(07:01):
breathing exercises, orprogressive muscle relaxation to
quiet the mind and prepare youfor sleep.
So the other week I went to akava bar and I had one of their
drinks before doing a breathwork group session.
The entire experience was sofreaking incredible and I slept
so good that night.
I also woke up the next morningfeeling more energetic than I
(07:25):
have had.
In a really long time.
My mood was higher than ittypically is.
And that's another thing.
Just a side note.
People with ADHD typically wakeup with a lower mood and they
have to really work to get theirmoods up in the morning.
So I like to gradually wake upin the morning.
I like it quiet, and my husbandis opposite.
(07:45):
So as soon as his eyes wake up,he is ready for the day.
He's ready to go.
His mood is pretty good and hetalks away too much in my
opinion.
Okay.
It's probably actually a normalamount that he's talking, but it
just feels like a lot because Idon't want to do hardly any
talking at all for like thefirst 30 minutes to an hour
before I wake up.
(08:06):
And the fourth thing isoptimizing your sleep
environment.
So make your bedroom cool.
Temperature-wise make it darkand quiet.
So invest in maybe some blackoutcurtains and some earplugs if
needed.
I was just talking to a friendover the weekend whose spouse
snores really loud.
That would destroy my sleep.
I would have to either sleep ina different room or a different
(08:28):
house completely, depending onhow loud it was.
But anyhow, so earplugs.
Might be a good investment.
If you have some distractionslike that in your bedroom.
The next thing to do is regularexercise.
So physical activity isessential for good health, but
make sure.
That you're avoiding strenuousworkouts too close to bedtime,
and make sure that you'regetting the okay from your
(08:50):
doctor to be moving around.
I'm more than aware of people'scircumstances.
And I don't want anyone to takethis and run with it, literally,
if they are healing from aneating disorder or some other
type of mental health orphysical complications.
So please be mindful and makesure that you're exercising for
the right reasons and not topunish yourself or use it to
come and say an unhealthy ways.
(09:11):
In more severe cases, it mightmake sense to look into
cognitive behavioral therapy forinsomnia.
So a therapist can help youidentify and change negative
thoughts and behaviors that keepyou awake at night.
Remember consistency is key.
So these strategies won't workovernight.
So be patient with yourself andstick to your new routine as
(09:34):
much as possible.
And let's face it.
Life with ADHD is rarelyperfect.
There will be nights where sleepjust doesn't cooperate with you
and that's okay.
So try again tomorrow.
And don't be afraid to talk toyour doctor for additional help
and support if you need it.
And.
if you found any of these tips,helpful, if you know anyone
who's struggling with ADHD, thenplease share this with them.
(09:56):
Um, I hope you have a beautiful.
beautiful.
week, and I will see you on thenext episode.
Thank you so much for joining meon this episode of landing
imperfect.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this community and
sharing this journey with me.
If you do want to connectfurther, then don't hesitate to
follow me on Instagram at Jendot Lander.
I would love to hear yourthoughts, any questions or any
(10:18):
stories that you want to share.
So, DME there, I also have awebsite.
It's a landing and perfectwebsite where I share a blog
post about my podcast, and thenyou can join my email list.
I have a PDF that providesanxiety and stress management
tools that you can.
And use as well when you join myemail list.
So check it out.
My website will be linked in myshow notes.
So don't hesitate to reach
So my husband falls asleep intwo seconds and I'm laying
(00:03):
awake, trying my best to call mybrain enough so that I can fall
asleep.
I've gotten frustrated too manytimes with him around bedtime.
If he falls asleep and I'mworking so hard to fall asleep.
Then he wakes up for a secondand wants to talk.
Even that little bit ofconversation is enough to re
stimulate my brain.
And then I feel like I'mstarting all over again.
(00:28):
So today I want to talk abouttrying to sleep when you're
someone who lives with ADHD,let's be honest, sleep and ADHD
often have a complicatedrelationship.
So we might struggle to winddown at night.
Our brains race with a millionthoughts at bedtime, or maybe
we're falling asleep easily, butstaying asleep feels impossible.
I have trouble falling andstaying asleep, so it takes me a
(00:50):
little while to wind down tofall asleep.
And then once I'm asleep, I willwake up several times in the
middle of the night, but I canfall back asleep pretty quickly.
When people ask me how my sleepis.
I usually say fine, because it'sall I've known.
I've just learned things alongthe way that have helped improve
my sleep.
(01:11):
And I'm going to be sharing someof those things with you.
So.
My sleep still.
Isn't perfect, but it's muchbetter than it's than it's been
in the past.
My brain takes a little bit oftime, like I was saying to wind
down at night.
So there's a few reasons whythose of us with ADHD have
difficulty with our sleeppattern.
One of those reasons has to dowith the challenges that we have
(01:33):
with executive functioning.
So that's things like planning,prioritizing, and sticking to a
routine.
This makes it hard to establisha consistent sleep schedule,
which is a key factor for goodsleep hygiene.
Organization that can also bedifficult for people who have
ADHD.
So having a cluttered sleepenvironment can worsen sleep
(01:54):
problems.
And if you're someone who hastrouble with organization, this
can also make it hard to keepyour bedroom quiet, dark, and
free from distractions.
When it comes to focusing andpaying attention.
People with ADHD, have adeficiency in dopamine and
norepinephrine, which plays arole in our ability to engage.
(02:15):
The same as someone who isneuro-typical.
So those imbalances can lead toracing, thoughts, to difficulty
shutting down our brain at nightand restlessness that disrupts
our sleep.
Melatonin is a hormone thathelps regulate our sleep wake
cycle.
There have been studies thatsuggest some people with ADHD
(02:36):
may have issues with melatoninproduction.
Which makes it harder to fallasleep and stay asleep.
Okay.
So my husband falls asleep intwo seconds and I'm laying
awake, trying my best to call mybrain enough so that I can fall
asleep.
I've gotten frustrated too manytimes with him around bedtime.
If he falls asleep and I'mworking so hard to fall asleep.
Then he wakes up for a secondand wants to talk.
(02:59):
Even that little bit ofconversation is enough to re
stimulate my brain.
And then I feel like I'mstarting all over again.
I'm like, I understand that youcan fall asleep, wake up, talk,
fall back asleep with noproblem.
But your girl over here.
It's really putting in someeffort to do what you can do.
And second, so don't be talkingto me, sir.
(03:21):
Okay.
Um, we also have somethingthat's called delayed sleep
phase syndrome.
So this means your natural sleepwake cycle is shifted to later.
So you might not feel tireduntil well, past midnight,
making early mornings.
Uh, constant battle.
I had this one teacher in the10th grade that told me if
(03:42):
school started at 10:00 AM, thenI'd be pretty good.
And she wasn't lying.
She hit the nail on the head.
Um, actually I'd prefer a schoolwould have started at noon, but
I mean, I got her point, so.
This is also.
Another reason why, um, peoplewith ADHD can thrive so well as
entrepreneurs because clockingin somewhere for someone else
(04:03):
early in the morning is tortureus for someone struggling with
all of these things.
And I know this because I did itfor years and I hated every
second of it.
So people with ADHD, oftenexperience higher levels of
anxiety and stress, which cansignificantly impact their sleep
quality.
These worries can keep you up atnight and make it harder to
(04:25):
relax and feeling easilyrejected or criticized.
I mean, those things can lead torumination and difficulty
letting go of negative thoughtsat night, which obviously is
further going to disrupt yoursleep too.
People with ADHD, have a nervoussystem that's more easily
stimulated than others.
So this can lead to difficultyquieting your mind and your body
(04:49):
for sleep.
When you, even, when you feeltired in ADHD can also.
Co-occur with sleep disorderslike restless legs syndrome.
This condition causes thisirresistible urge to move your
legs, which often worsens atnight.
So restless leg is more commonin people who have ADHD and
that, um, and that obviously isgoing to keep you up much later
(05:12):
into the night.
And then there's sleep apneatoo.
So this is a sleep disorder thatcauses pauses and breathing
throughout the night.
And that leads to thisfragmented sleep and daytime
fatigue too.
Uh, sleep apnea is moreprevalent and people who have
ADHD.
The, the lack of sleep throwsthis wrench into everything.
(05:33):
I mean, we start to feel foggy.
We struggle to focus and ouremotional regulation can take a
hit to.
These issues can then make iteven harder to manage our ADHD
symptoms and guess what?
Get a good night's sleep.
Right.
Talk about a vicious cycle.
I mean, that's it right there.
So there's some suggestions thatI have for you on things that
(05:56):
have worked for me, things thatI tell my patients and things
that I believe can work for you.
If you give this a real shot,number one.
Is create a calming bedtimeroutine.
So dim the lights avoid screensfor at least an hour before
bedtime, you could read a bookand not a stimulating book.
One that is a little bit on thedrier side.
(06:17):
Maybe.
And take a warm bath or practicecalming, stretches, and then
next we have light therapy.
If you struggle with delayedsleep phase, using a light
therapy box in the morning canhelp regulate your circadian
rhythm.
So make sure this is okay withyour doctor.
First, I use a light therapylamp in the mornings when I'm
(06:38):
putting on my makeup and doingmy hair.
I would recommend 15 to 30minutes, but nothing compares to
real sunlight.
So if you have that available toyou, then I would highly
recommend you spending at least10 minutes outside.
First thing in the morning totake advantage of that sunlight.
It makes a huge difference inyour sleep cycle.
So give that a shot.
Third thing you could do ismindfulness, meditation, deep
(07:01):
breathing exercises, orprogressive muscle relaxation to
quiet the mind and prepare youfor sleep.
So the other week I went to akava bar and I had one of their
drinks before doing a breathwork group session.
The entire experience was sofreaking incredible and I slept
so good that night.
I also woke up the next morningfeeling more energetic than I
(07:25):
have had.
In a really long time.
My mood was higher than ittypically is.
And that's another thing.
Just a side note.
People with ADHD typically wakeup with a lower mood and they
have to really work to get theirmoods up in the morning.
So I like to gradually wake upin the morning.
I like it quiet, and my husbandis opposite.
(07:45):
So as soon as his eyes wake up,he is ready for the day.
He's ready to go.
His mood is pretty good and hetalks away too much in my
opinion.
Okay.
It's probably actually a normalamount that he's talking, but it
just feels like a lot because Idon't want to do hardly any
talking at all for like thefirst 30 minutes to an hour
before I wake up.
(08:06):
And the fourth thing isoptimizing your sleep
environment.
So make your bedroom cool.
Temperature-wise make it darkand quiet.
So invest in maybe some blackoutcurtains and some earplugs if
needed.
I was just talking to a friendover the weekend whose spouse
snores really loud.
That would destroy my sleep.
I would have to either sleep ina different room or a different
(08:28):
house completely, depending onhow loud it was.
But anyhow, so earplugs.
Might be a good investment.
If you have some distractionslike that in your bedroom.
The next thing to do is regularexercise.
So physical activity isessential for good health, but
make sure.
That you're avoiding strenuousworkouts too close to bedtime,
and make sure that you'regetting the okay from your
(08:50):
doctor to be moving around.
I'm more than aware of people'scircumstances.
And I don't want anyone to takethis and run with it, literally,
if they are healing from aneating disorder or some other
type of mental health orphysical complications.
So please be mindful and makesure that you're exercising for
the right reasons and not topunish yourself or use it to
come and say an unhealthy ways.
(09:11):
In more severe cases, it mightmake sense to look into
cognitive behavioral therapy forinsomnia.
So a therapist can help youidentify and change negative
thoughts and behaviors that keepyou awake at night.
Remember consistency is key.
So these strategies won't workovernight.
So be patient with yourself andstick to your new routine as
(09:34):
much as possible.
And let's face it.
Life with ADHD is rarelyperfect.
There will be nights where sleepjust doesn't cooperate with you
and that's okay.
So try again tomorrow.
And don't be afraid to talk toyour doctor for additional help
and support if you need it.
And.
if you found any of these tips,helpful, if you know anyone
who's struggling with ADHD, thenplease share this with them.
(09:56):
Um, I hope you have a beautiful.
beautiful.
week, and I will see you on thenext episode.
Thank you so much for joining meon this episode of landing
imperfect.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this community and
sharing this journey with me.
If you do want to connectfurther, then don't hesitate to
follow me on Instagram at Jendot Lander.
I would love to hear yourthoughts, any questions or any
(10:18):
stories that you want to share.
So, DME there, I also have awebsite.
It's a landing and perfectwebsite where I share a blog
post about my podcast, and thenyou can join my email list.
I have a PDF that providesanxiety and stress management
tools that you can.
And use as well when you join myemail list.
So check it out.
My website will be linked in myshow notes.
So don't hesitate to reach
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