Life With Althaar

Life With Althaar

An epic science-fiction sitcom for your ears about an unlikely human/alien friendship in the unluckiest place in Human space. It is the mid-26th Century. John B, a humble repairman and ”former human” (having lost his legal status as such), has left the Earth for mysterious reasons. He is perhaps the unluckiest being in Human space. He has wound up at the Human Exchange Concourse, or the ”HEC,” once the site of Humanity’s First Galactic Fair. It was the biggest flop in Human history. ”The Fairgrounds” is perhaps the unluckiest place in Human space. You don’t go there, you end up there. John’s luck seems to have changed when he gets a good apartment at an amazingly reasonable price only to find his roommate is Althaar, an Iltorian, who is determined to befriend a Human. (Iltorians are the kindest, nicest species in all known space, and natural diplomats, beloved by almost all, but their slightest presence causes Humans to instinctively respond with panic, fear, disgust, nausea, and loss of bodily functions). Can a Human and Iltorian live together without one of them driving the other crazy?

Episodes

July 12, 2019 56 min
In which John B. arrives at The Fairgrounds, a space station in the Teegarden's System commonly known as the unluckiest place in Human space, and finds himself living with Althaar, the nicest being you'd ever want to meet, from a species whose very presence in any way causes Humans to react instinctively with fear, panic, and nausea. As John goes about his new day and job on the Fairgrounds, he meets many of the other beings who ha...
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In which Dee's backup band at The Electric Egg leaves The Fairgrounds, and Dee learns to her horror why you should always sign a contract based on local time. Althaar attempts to get closer to his new roommate John B through meditation, with disastrous results. And a new Xbidont musician, a 12-armed virtuoso on 5 instruments at once, arrives on station, and may be the answer to at least one of Dee's problems, if only he weren't, li...
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August 9, 2019 102 min
In which the omnipresent (and possibly omnipotent), multidimensional Lt. Frall chooses to finally take some time off, but sends a future version of themself back in time to take their place and be present again when The Fairgrounds' senior staff is visited by The Fidorians, a friendly, dog-like species that turns out to have a surprisingly dark side, as the demand the return of an unknown item known to be on the station. Perhaps Sh...
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August 23, 2019 53 min
In which a disaster strikes that threatens the entire station, but the robots morally won't fix it because of union rules, and humans legally can't fix it because it will kill them. Unfortunately, it turns out that John B, due to his mysterious past, falls under neither of these categories fully, and is required to perform the repair even though it will kill him. Can he figure out a solution that will keep him alive and get the rep...
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September 6, 2019 61 min
In which an unfamiliar ship lands on The Fairgrounds, turning out to contain two "scien-technicians" from the species known as "The Luck Navigators," whose entire technology is based on riding waves of Luck and it's opposite, which they refer to by the technical term "Suck." Unfortunately, the extreme amount of suck on the station has trapped them, and chaos descends as The Fairgrounds is beset by events, large and small, of extrem...
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September 20, 2019 80 min
In which family problems come to The Fairgrounds, as Xtopps turns out to have a surprising background, and duties he is expected to take on, peanut butter junkie or not, and John's estranged sister Susan is part of the diplomatic corps sent to handle the tricky Xbidont/League of Humans situation that is developing. Meanwhile, 3-D cribbage is played, Dee, with her backing band distracted, has to sing public domain karaoke, and MC Ma...
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October 4, 2019 72 min
In which disaster strikes The Fairgrounds (but doesn't it always?) when a mysterious incapacitating disease strikes every non-Human on the station - including the Robots - leaving a skeleton crew to try and run the HEC and cure the disease before life-support functions totally fail. Will the Humans do it before time runs out? What disgusting things does Human comfort food do to a sick lltorian? Will John B get a date with the amazo...
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October 18, 2019 65 min
In which the Robot Union goes on strike, leaving The Fairgrounds in chaos, with, on top of it, most of the doors and panels saying insulting things about Commander Torianna in various Earth languages. John B, as a bridge between Humans and Robots, is conscripted by both sides to convince the other of the error of their ways. Meanwhile, with the power out and no access to more booze in The Electric Egg, adorable Fugulnari retiree pl...
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In which we discover WHO is responsible for the pineapple juice that's filling up The Fairgrounds, WHAT Robots do for "tension relief," WHERE the zero-gravity Twister competition will be held if the pineapple juice can't be removed, WHEN the painfully shy Magnosians are able to mate, and HOW Althaar will learn about the "human sexing!" Answers involve weightless SCUBA diving among said pineapple juice, the exchange of vital interna...
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November 15, 2019 114 min
In which The Inspector calls and throws The Fairgrounds into (even more) chaos, StalinBot covets a jetpack, Althaar disguises himself as a nitrogen-fixing coolant processor, Mrs. Frondrinax amuses herself with gossip (and beats up a trash can), Cole Porter lyrics continue to offend or terminally confuse alien races, energy-being Lieutenant-Commander Frall tries out a new look (Stetson!), and we discover why you really, REALLY don't...
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November 29, 2019 66 min
In which John B attempts a simple errand: returning the talking (and annoying) 3-headed "Cockathreece" that he was sent instead of the goldfish he wanted from one side of a station level to the other in under an hour. But of course, it's The Fairgrounds, which means a complicated set of detours around a scavenger hunt, broken elevators, threats from cookie-selling ScoutBots, a full-on battle between Sanitation Fusiliers and the dea...
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December 13, 2019 80 min
In which is essayed A Very Special holiday episode, as Althaar wanders The Fairgrounds attempting to learn the True Meaning of Christmas so he can help his human friend John B, who is homesick for Earth. Along the way he learns about some of the many beliefs (or lack thereof) of the humans, robots, aliens, and energy beings of the station, while John sits in their apartment unsuccessfully trying to avoid Christmas media (except for...
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December 27, 2019 90 min
In which all the main characters are trapped in the disreputable bar The Electric Egg after their Christmas party when the security doors seal as several station-threatening disasters suddenly rampage. Between all of their various skills, and while stuck where they are, they must come up with a solution that will repair the tiny loose wire behind it all, which is on the other side of the station, before the Fairgrounds explodes or ...
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Hi folks.

We just wanted to say hello before Season 2 of Life With Althaar begins next week.

And also to be sure you're aware of where to find us online.  So here are all the links...

 

TWITTER:

Life With Althaar Account

Althaar's Personal Account!

FACEBOOK:

Gemini CollisionWorks Page

INSTAGRAM:

Ian/CollisionWorks Account

TUMBLR:

A Secret I'll Tell Nobody Never

PODBEAN PATRON ACCOUNT:

Donate to Life With Althaar here!

FULL SHOW CRE...

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ALTHAAR'S VERY-SPECIAL FIRST-SEASON MUSICAL EP!

music, lyrics, and dialogue by Ian W. Hill and Berit Johnson

for Gemini CollisionWorks

except "Credit Music," composed by Anna Stefanic

and "Surfin' Bee," original music by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov

 

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July 17, 2020 97 min
In which we return to The Fairgrounds after six months to find the crew apparently happier and in considerably less danger, with no life-threatening incidents having happened for many weeks, which of course means that no one is comfortable, everyone is bored or suspicious, and, given the normally disaster-prone station, all the residents are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And during one work cycle, a number of crew member...
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In which The Syndicate comes to The Fairgrounds to make Chip Frinkel an offer he can't refuse concerning his bar, The Electric Egg: a seemingly innocent offer of a pool table. However, more turns out to be riding on the table, and a game of SuperNova on it, than first appears. Meanwhile, Althaar becomes addicted to binge-watching 21st-Century television shows.     EPISODE FIFTEEN "A Simple Game of SuperNova" written by Chris Lee   ...
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In which Drop Time comes again to The Fairgrounds, though several newcomers to the station have no idea what this period -- when the station drops a certain amount of days from the calendar to get in line with Earth's -- means for them. For John B, it means his birthday is getting skipped, for Dee, it means a cruel prank regarding a non-binding contract, for the energy being Lt. Frall, it means trying to drink coffee and pouring it...
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In which the "Steves" from an annoying but highly motivated and skilled capitalist species, the Dilurians, come to The Fairgrounds, renting a downshifted and unused level, from which they proceed to wreak havoc across the entire space station. As their new business, Cadabra, expands rapidly from selling personalized smells, they begin, in less than a day, to gentrify across the station, wiping out all the beloved homegrown business...
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September 11, 2020 80 min
In which John B, on yet another boring and routine EVA mission to fix a very small wire on the outside of The Fairgrounds, is sent hurling away from the space station by a chance explosion. As John and the bridge crew attempt in vain to find a way to bring him back (that won't kill him), all of his other friends on The Fairgrounds show up on the bridge to say hello (for no logical reason), and John suspects that, despite their assu...
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