Secret #36: The Secret Power of Disagreements with Dr. Yael Schonbrun

In this episode of 'Life's Dirty Little Secrets,' hosts Emma Waddington and Chris McCurry welcome back Dr. Yael Schonbrun, PhD, a clinical psychologist, writer, and faculty member at Brown University. Dr. Schonbrun discusses the surprising benefits of disagreements, emphasizing how differences can nourish relationships, foster growth, and help individuals thrive.

She explains the importance of mindset shifts, the role of conflict in couples and society, and shares strategies for turning disagreements into productive and positive experiences. The conversation also touches on personal anecdotes, the challenges of maintaining perspective, and the power of repair in relationships.

• Healthy conflict resolution strategies
• Adversarial collaboration in science
• Parental modeling of repairs
• Self compassion in mistakes
• Personal responsibility in conflicts - Importance of conflict repair

[02:12] The Secret Power of Disagreements

[04:06] Embracing Differences for Growth

[06:47] Healthy Conflict Resolution Strategies

[07:16] Adversarial Collaboration in Science

[11:17] The Elephant and the Blind Men Parable

[14:37] Perspective Taking vs. Perspective Giving

[27:06] The Joint Contributory System

[31:29] Understanding the Goggles Metaphor

[32:15] Personal Anecdote: Misinterpreting Intentions

[33:02] The Inescapable Nature of Our Perspectives

[33:35] Conflict in Relationships: A Humbling Experience

[36:28] The Importance of Sleep and Self-Care in Conflict Resolution

[42:33] The Power of Repair in Relationships

[44:35] Tips for Effective Repair

[49:59] The Importance of Conflict in Personal Growth

About Dr. Yael Schonbrun

Check out Dr. Schonbrun’s last visit on Life’s Dirty Little Secrets Podcast - Secret #7 Parental Guilt with Dr. Yael Schonbrun

Purchase Work Parent Drive by Dr. Yael Schonbrun on Amazon or at your local bookstore to gain valuable insights and strategies for navigating the tension between being a parent and working. https://www.amazon.com/Work-Parent-Thrive-Science-Backed-Strategies/dp/1611809657

Yael Schonbrun, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock: A podcast about the science and practice of living well, and mother of three. Yael’s academic research explores the interaction between relationship problems and mental health conditions.

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