Finding Joy When Life Feels Heavy

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We explore the radical act of emotional integration—feeling everything without shame in a world that tells you to 'stay positive.' Your tears are not a sign you're doing life wrong, your anger is not evidence you're broken, and your grief doesn't mean you lack faith.

• Joy can exist alongside pain—it's not about bypassing darkness but learning to dance with it
• Emotions are not binary—you can hold multiple feelings simultaneously
• When you cut yourself off from sadness, you also cut yourself off from joy
• Unexpressed emotions transform: sadness becomes depression, anger becomes resentment
• Generational healing begins with feeling what our ancestors couldn't process
• Your body physically holds emotions—notice where they live in your body
• A mindful practice for acknowledging emotions you've been avoiding
• Your emotional depth isn't a burden—it's your medicine, your navigation system, and your revolution
• A person who feels everything is dangerous to systems that need you numb
• Your wholeness challenges systems that require your numbness

Share this with someone who's been told their emotions are 'too much'—you're not just sharing a podcast, you're normalizing emotional depth in our communities. Leave a review sharing what emotions you're learning to welcome back home. For more information about the work I do, visit liftoneselfcom.

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Music:

Palms by Text Me Records / Bobby Renz
Gemini by The Soundlings
Sunset n Beachz by Ofshane
Misdirection ...

Episode Transcript

NatNat - LiftOneSelf (00:01):
Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast.
I'm your host, nat Nat, andthis is a space where we
remember that feeling all of itthe joy and the grief, the light
and the shadow is what makes usfully human.
If you've been told to staypositive when your heart is
breaking, if you've been shamedfor crying and for laughing, if

(00:23):
you're exhausted from pretendingyou're only feeling the quote
unquote acceptable emotions,this one's for you.
Are you tired of the spiritualbypassing the good vibes, only
being told sadness is a lowvibration and joy is enlightened
.
Your tears are not a signyou're doing life wrong.

(00:44):
Your anger is not evidenceyou're broken.
Your grief is not proof youlack faith and your joy is not
betraying anyone by existingalongside the pain.
Your joy is not to bediminished or watered down.
Real joy, the kind thatsustains you, doesn't come from

(01:05):
avoiding the darkness.
It comes from walking throughit and still choosing to believe
in beauty.
It comes from feeling it alland still saying yes to what
lights you up.
You were never meant to feelone thing at a time.
You're vast enough to holdcontradictions.
Let me tell you about the day Ilaughed until my stomach hurt.

(01:28):
Yet the same day, I gotdevastating news about someone I
loved.
For hours I felt guilty.
How dare I feel joy whensomething so painful was
happening?
Then I realized my laughterwasn't taking away from the
sadness.
My ability to feel both waswhat made me human.

(01:49):
When people see me dancing likereally dancing, like you know,
really, oddly and awkwardly, asif I'm high, which I am I'm high
on life Some might think I'mbypassing the pain, think I'm
bypassing the pain.
Some ask how do you do it?
Sober?
Because I feel, and I no longerrun from emotions and if you're

(02:10):
around me you can feel it.
The depth, the weight of what Icarry, you can hear it in how I
speak, in how I hold space, inhow I show up.
I'm not pretending, theheaviness isn't there.
Many guys see me zoned out insilence and will ask me what's
wrong.
And it's just that I'mprocessing.
There will be moments in theday where tears just hit me At

(02:33):
the grocery store, foldinglaundry, driving somewhere, heck
, even at parties.
I let them fall, I don'tapologize to my body for feeling
.
Then I come back into thepresent moment and choose to be
alive, to keep moving.
I'm choosing to embrace andintegrate it.
I'm choosing joy as a companionto my grief, not a replacement

(02:58):
for it.
My dancing isn't denial, it'sintegration.
It's my body saying I can holdsorrow and still move to the
rhythm of life.
Yet what you're seeing is adecade of inner work that many
are not willing to engage with,and that's okay.
Yet I'm living proof of what'spossible, and I have so much

(03:21):
more to experience.
We've been sold this lie thatemotions are binary, that you're
either happy or sad, gratefulor angry, at peace or in chaos.
Your nervous system knowsbetter.
You can hold it all.
You're feeling more than oneemotion at many times.
When you cut yourself off fromsadness, you cut yourself off

(03:46):
from joy.
When you numb the pain, younumb the pleasure.
Emotions flow together.
They're not separateterritories.
Your sadness tells what matters.
Your anger tells you where yourboundaries were crossed.
Your fear tells you what needsprotection.
Your joy tells you what's worthliving for.

(04:09):
The unexpressed sadness becomesdepression.
The unfelt anger becomesresentment.
The unprocessed fear becomesanxiety and joy.
Joy gets buried underneatheverything when we refuse to
feel.
Your grandmother's unprocessedgrief it's sitting in your chest

(04:31):
.
Your mother's swallowed rageit's living in your shoulders
and possibly hips.
Your father's silent fear it'srunning through your nervous
system.
Generational healing starts withfeeling what they couldn't.
It starts with saying I willnot pass this down.
So, to make this a practice,let's pause for a mindful moment

(04:56):
Now.
Put your hand on your heart,take a breath that reaches all
the way down to your belly.
If you need to take the otherhand and place it on your belly,
feeling it expand, allowingyour breath to reach down to
that hand and fill up that bellywith oxygen.

(05:17):
Now I want you to think of oneemotion you've been avoiding.
Maybe grief, you think youshould be over.
Maybe anger, you've been told,is unspiritual.
Maybe joy, you feel guilty forhaving.
Whatever it is.
Can you make space for it rightnow, not to fix it or

(05:44):
understand it or make itprettier, just to let it exist?
Notice where that emotion sitsin your body right now.
Is it tight in your chest,heavy in your stomach, buzzing
in your throat?
Possibly you're trying toswallow it back down?

(06:09):
Your body is holding this foryou.
It's been your faithful keeper.
Your body has been working sohard to contain what you
wouldn't let.
What if you gave it permissionto just be?

(06:30):
This is where real joy lives,not in the absence of pain, but
in the presence of truth andyour willingness to feel it all
and still choose what lights youup.
Take another deep breath in,hold it Gently, release.

(06:51):
Here's what I've learned Realjoy doesn't come from avoiding
darkness.
It comes from dancing with it.
You are allowed to grieve andcelebrate.
You are allowed to feelheartbroken and hopeful.
You're allowed to carry sorrowand choose what brings you alive

(07:15):
.
Your joy isn't betraying yourpain.
It's honoring your wholeness,and I get it.
Some of us have been in areally joyful moment and then
bang.
Have been in a really joyfulmoment and then bang, we're hit
with a life experiences thatjust shatters everything inside.
So then we're hesitant to openup our heart and feel that joy

(07:37):
again, feel that elevation,because we feel like we're going
to get hit and knocked downagain.
But here's the truth.
They don't want you to know.
A person who feels everything isdangerous to systems that
require your numbness, your fullemotional range threatens
anything that needs you small.

(07:58):
Your integrated wholeness isrebellion against a world that
profits from your disconnection.
You are your nervous system,learning it's safe to feel.
You are your body, rememberingit can hold contradictions.
You are your heart, choosing tostay open even when it hurts.

(08:25):
So, yes, I get it.
Why would I open myself upagain to feel pain?
However, when you aren't, you'renot feeling life, you're not
alive.
You're not allowing yourself tofeel the delights in the small
things.
The world doesn't need you tosuffer to prove you care.

(08:49):
The world needs you to feel itall and still believe in beauty.
So feel it all.
Cry the tears, feel the rage,honor the grief and dance to
what moves you.
Your emotions are not yourenemies, they're your navigation
system.

(09:09):
Your depth is not your burden,it's your medicine.
Your wholeness is not confusion, it it's revolution.
Feel everything, processeverything.
Then choose what you want toamplify.
The world needs your fullspectrum of human experiences,

(09:30):
not your performance ofhappiness.
It needs your integrated, messy, beautiful wholeness.
If this permission to feellanded where you needed it,
share it with someone who's beentold their emotions are too
much.
When you share episodes likethis, you're not just supporting
the show, you're normalizingemotional depth in our

(09:51):
communities.
You're creating space forothers to feel fully human.
Hit, subscribe for moreconversations that honor the
full human experience.
No spiritual bypassing, notoxic positivity, just real talk
about what it means to be alive.
Leave a review sharing whatemotions you're learning to

(10:13):
welcome back home.
Your story helps create acommunity where feeling
everything is celebrated, notpathologized.
Here we practice emotionalintegration without apologizing
for any of it.
Your emotions are not yourenemies, they're your allies.
Hey, you made it all the wayhere.

(10:34):
I appreciate you and your time.
If you found value in thisconversation, please share it
out.
If there was somebody thatpopped into your mind, take
action and share it out withthem.
It possibly may not be themthat will benefit.
It's that they know somebodythat will benefit from listening
to this conversation.

(10:55):
So please take action and shareout the podcast.
You c an find us on socialmedia, on Facebook, instagram
and TikTok under Lift One Self,and if you want to inquire about
the work that I do and theservices that I provide to
people, come over on my website,come into a discovery, call

(11:17):
liftoneselfcom.
Until next time, pleaseremember to be kind and gentle
with yourself.
You matter.