November 17, 2025 • 42 mins
What if mental health isn't something you're diagnosed with—but something you train daily, like physical fitness?
Arnold Beekes watched the mental health system fail his sister. Institutions prioritized filling seats over healing people. Two of her classmates died by suicide that same week. That bike ride home changed everything.
A former corporate executive turned global citizen, Arnold created "brain fitness"—a preventative approach to mental and emotional well-being that treats your mind like you treat your body: strengthen it before it breaks.
IN THIS EPISODE:
- Why mental health cases exploded from 197 million (1952) to 2.4 billion (2024)—and it's not just population growth
- The difference between "mental illness" (the label) and mental wellness (the practice)
- How Arnold's near-fatal car crash forced him to rebuild his relationship with movement and safety
- The "inner cheerleader" technique that replaces self-criticism with self-compassion
- Why his sister's story taught him the hardest lesson about boundaries and willingness
- Three demanding but simple principles: be kind, be present, be creative
- Practical tools: nasal breathing, daily walks, and making space for emotions without drowning in them
GUEST RESOURCES:
Arnold Beekes Website: braingym.fitness Book: "The Adventures of Doctor Alfred Moore" 15-Week Program: "From Fitting In to Flying Out" Masterclasses available on: Curiosity, Emotions, Habits, Aging, Uniqueness
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (00:00):
Welcome to the Lyft One Self Podcast.
I'm your host, Nat Nat, andtoday I have an amazing guest
all the way from Romania, and itis Arnold.
So, Arnold, would you be sograteful to introduce yourself
and let myself and the listenersknow a little bit about
yourself?
Arnold Beekes (00:17):
Yeah, well, luckily you say a little bit.
I'm trying, I'm trying tounderstand who I am.
It's uh it's been a lifelongjourney, and I I'm still
learning a lot and growing alot.
So, but that that makes lifeinteresting, I guess.
My my name is Arnold Bakers.
I have a Dutch passport.
(00:37):
Uh I grew up there and livedthere most of my life, but
currently I'm I'm living inRomania.
I'm intentionally saying I havea Dutch passport, not I'm
Dutch.
I don't identify with beingDutch, I I identify with being a
global citizen.
That that is truly, truly how Ifeel.
(00:58):
And um about myself, I grew upin a family where I guess these
days everyone would be labeledwith a mental illness now, but
not when I grew up there.
So that that was very, verychallenging.
Then well, I had a traditionalthing going in school, going to
(01:20):
university.
Well, later on, you can guesswhat I studied.
Nobody will, um, and then uh,well, I had to go in military
service, and then I I startedworking in the business world,
in the corporate world.
From an outside perspective,people would say I was quite
(01:41):
successful.
And then in 2000, well, I uhgot what well the Americans call
a perfect storm, likeeverything changed in my life,
uh, in well, mostly involuntaryand part voluntary, and since
(02:01):
then I I'm I'm I'm on thisjourney, is like from being a
corporate executive to who I am,what do I like, who do I want
to be, what do I want to do, andand that's an ongoing thing
because there is layers andlayers and layers which which
come up, and um, I'm currentlyand hopefully for a large part
(02:27):
of the rest of my life workingon what I call brain fitness,
which my intention is to helppeople really with mental and
emotional health, and althoughpeople associate the word mental
health, like oh, that's notgood, but that is because they
choose the wrong definition inthe medical system, let me put
(02:52):
it like that.
They talk about mental health,but it's really mental illness,
which doesn't exist either.
But yeah, they call it thehealthcare system, where it's in
essentially a sick care system.
So I'm really trying to focuson the health part in what's
invisible.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (03:11):
Yeah, I get that.
Uh we're aligned in a lot of uhthe work and some of the
journey uh that we have.
I was in the government before,so I get um, you know, changing
and transforming into what isit that I'm gonna do and what is
it that is within me that wantsto come out as creativity and
(03:33):
not just check off the boxesthat the world tells you that's
successful, that you actuallytake control of creating the
story of your life.
There's a lot of questions thatI have in regards to that.
Yet before that, will you joinme in a mindful moment so that
we can meet ourselves, check inwith ourselves, and then
continue on with the podcast?
Arnold Beekes (03:55):
Yes, that's fine with me.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (03:57):
And for the listeners, as you always
hear me, safety first, many ofyou are driving or using your
visual while listening to thepodcast.
Please don't close your eyes.
Yet every other prompt that Iam assisting us to go through,
you're able to do that.
So, Arnold, I'll ask you to getcomfortable in your seating.
And if it's safe to do so,you're gonna gently close your
(04:20):
eyes or soften your gaze.
And you're gonna bring yourawareness to watching your
breath go in and out.
And if it's possible to onlybreathe in and out through your
nose, and just let thatawareness watch the breath go in
(04:40):
and out.
You're not gonna try andcontrol the rhythm, you're just
gonna be aware of it, allowingit to guide you into your body.
There may be some sensations orfeelings coming up, and that's
okay.
You're safe to feel, you'resafe to let go.
(05:01):
Surrender the knee to control,release the knee to resist and
just be.
Now there may be some thoughtsor to-do lists or events that
(05:23):
have happened that have poppedup in your mind, and that's
okay.
Gently bring your awarenessback to your breath, beginning
again, creating space betweenthe awareness and the thoughts,
and dropping down into the body,being in stillness, in being
(05:50):
again, more thoughts may havepopped up.
Gently bring your awarenessback to your breath, creating
even more space between theawareness and the thoughts, and
completely surrendering into thebody, into the moment, into
(06:13):
being.
Now you may notice that theremight be some tension, right?
Because that you weren't awareof before.
That's okay, just breathe intothe body, allowing some
relaxation, some unnodding, someunclenching.
Now, if you can take a deepbreath in through your nose and
(06:42):
do a gentle exhale out of yourmouth, letting it all go.
Repeating that cycle again.
Gentle in.
And a deep exhale, letting itall go.
Now at your own time and atyour own pace, you're gonna
(07:06):
gently open your eyes and staywith your breath.
How's your heart doing?
Arnold Beekes (07:11):
My heart feels very comfortable.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (07:13):
So you mentioned the word brain
fitness, and I know many litlisteners are probably brain
fitness.
What do you mean by that?
And do I really want to engagein more fitness in my life?
Can you explain what that meansand how you came about the
title?
Arnold Beekes (07:30):
My definition of brain fitness is a state of
psychological and physicalwell-being in which an
individual uses his or heruniqueness, learns continuously,
deals with challenges, andcontributes to better life for
all.
That's the definition I'musing.
(07:51):
I came up with the name someyears ago, which was not a nice
moment.
I was going, I was accompanyingmy sister to a mental health
institution.
She is officially diagnosedwith depression, and she was
(08:12):
going through a program there,and actually, the the program
made things worse.
So I had to go with her to tellthe people leading or giving
the course that she's not gonnacontinue, and they were pushing
her to continue and to do thesame courses again, which
(08:34):
already didn't help at all, andagain made it worse.
And even while we were waitingoutside, because for the meeting
to start, my sister saw somesome other folks who were also
in the same, well, let me callit, program, and I let her talk
(08:55):
to them, so I stayed apartbecause well, I didn't know
them, and it appeared that twoof her classmates had committed
suicide in the week before.
So that's the setting where Iget to talk with the well, let's
(09:16):
call it leadership of themental health institution.
And at the end, I was totallyappalled that these guys were
just pushing utilization, theywere just pushing like they need
to get their classroom full,and not whether it worked or not
worked, it's like no, we westill got one slot, so you do it
(09:38):
again, and that they weretotally not informed about the
latest developments inpsychology and everything else,
nothing zero.
So we had that was the meeting.
I I I managed to get her out ofit.
Well, that was still theNetherlands.
(09:58):
Everybody's on the bike,including me and my sister.
But on the bike going backhome, home for me means the home
of my mother, who I was thecaretaker for.
And my mother had dementia andParkinson.
So that's when popped in myhead is like both my sister and
(10:18):
my mother are screwed.
There's no way that, well, atleast the way it looked like
that there will be a cure, thatthere will be healed, and
whatever.
So I'm like, wow, why can't wedo something on prevention?
Why can't we do just like we dowith body fitness?
(10:41):
You most people do body fitnessto stay healthy and that
they're able to do the thingswhich they want to do with their
body.
Why don't we do somethingsimilar with our brain?
Hence the word brain fitnesspopped in my mind.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (10:57):
I know many listeners may be like, oh
my gosh, this sounds like mystory, or I know somebody in
that story.
And I just want to meet thelistener right there because
words can be very impactful.
So hearing suicide, hearingdepression, hearing dementia, it
activates that nervous system.
Yet, yeah, as you're seeing,Arnold is when he was in the
(11:20):
trenches of his experience, asolution popped up.
And I'm thankful that you'relistening to that calling that's
coming from within you of howcan we better remedy what is
happening with a lot ofindividuals where they're trying
to seek help, yet a lot of theinstitutes aren't meeting the
(11:41):
individual where they are andfinding out, you know, how this
can better the people.
So moving back, you said thatyou were in the corporate world
and you did military service.
What had you leave that type oflife?
Arnold Beekes (12:03):
Well, in the corporate world, I I basically
was kicked out.
So I was laid off.
Later on, they wanted me back,but then I said, no way I'm
gonna get back to thatenvironment.
And this was in 2000.
(12:23):
So, mind you, that's a longtime ago.
And I was in the Netherlands,which is different from the US
and Canada.
It's like I want to start myown business, I want to do
something for myself, and Ibecame very, very good in
meeting expectations of otherpeople and doing what other
people want me to do.
(12:44):
And I'm like, I really dislikebosses.
So it's like, I want to be myown boss and figure out what
that is, and well, I don't thinkI even had the word start up
then, because again, this was in2000, and this this was in the
(13:06):
Netherlands.
So later on, that terminologypopped up and is now
commonplace, but it was notthen.
But that that was where itstarted.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (13:20):
And you know, I know many listeners
because as I said, I'm inCanada, and uh a lot of
listeners will listen from theUS also.
And we have we have thisconception that the Netherlands
is like the utopia of health,and everybody's joyful,
everybody's in good fitness,everybody's in good spirits.
(13:41):
Yet for your experience, thatisn't the actual thing.
So for those that don't fitinto the box of wellness and
fitness, where are they findingtheir help there in the
Netherlands?
Like, is there more, are youseeing a more increase in
mental, you know, um illness orthat people aren't really able
(14:07):
to like the world is a shit showright now.
So when people are talkingabout mental illnesses, it's
like who who isn't impacted bythe instability of everything
that's going on?
Yet when you want to go and askfor help, it seems like it's a
stigma.
Is there stigma around theNetherlands around mental
health?
Arnold Beekes (14:30):
Well, let me first address your question like
everything in the Netherlandswas fine and good.
Perhaps that was maybe in the70s and 80s.
Yeah.
Um, but I noticed that forpeople for any country and any
city, people assume that whenthey learned about something,
(14:50):
that it's static.
But just like yourself, yourrelationship, your environment,
it's dynamic, it changes all thetime.
Yeah, so the Netherlands oftoday is totally different from
the Netherlands from the 70s,80s, even 90s, and it's going
really, really downhill.
(15:11):
Yeah, but that's true for allof the Western world.
Look at the US.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (15:18):
Oh, yeah.
Arnold Beekes (15:20):
But look at England, Germany, France, Spain,
everywhere.
So it's everywhere happening,yeah.
And and those things areunfortunately going downhill.
So, again, people, please don'tstick to a label which you once
find out and take it for therest of your life.
That's one thing.
(15:41):
The the the other thing, yourquestion is is mental health,
mental illness, something thatit is a global phenomenon.
It's a global phenomenon.
I may I share with you somenumbers, which is a research I
did.
There were actually on a globalscale 197 million global mental
(16:04):
health cases in 1952.
That's when they startedmeasuring with the DSM and a
formal process.
That was then 7.6 percent ofthe world population in 2024.
So very latest numbers, we talkabout 2.4 billion cases, 197
(16:25):
million to 2.4 billion cases,from 7.6 percent uh percentage
of the world population to 29.5percent of the world population.
So this is huge.
And I I wanted to find out whatis the reason for that.
You mentioned stigma and thereare many other reasons.
(16:50):
Stigma is less stigma, is atime is is part of it, but it's
not the main reason.
The main reason is prettyunclear.
But then I asked, is like maybeit's because the population
growth, and I did a study aroundthat.
It it's actually there was apopulation decline, so a decline
(17:16):
in the growth, it didn't grow.
So that's that that is not areason.
Then I checked, like, is it theDSM is the diagnostic and
statistic manual of thepsychology industry where they
put you in a category and labelyou as mental ill.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (17:33):
Yeah, that book.
Arnold Beekes (17:34):
I don't agree with that book in a lot of ways,
like, yeah, yeah, but it's itlike it started like in 1952,
they had 106 labels, and nowwe're close to 300.
Because they don't know, butthat is not the reason.
That is not the reason, so it'sa combination of diagnostics,
awareness, change in healthsystem, everything else, but
(17:58):
it's not, but it's clear thatthere's something strange going
on, and one of the main reasons,what I think are a couple, and
one of the main reasons is thepathologizing that you're having
problems, you're havingchallenges in your life, and
immediately oh you're this weneed to give you a medicine, and
(18:19):
that's it.
People are not sick.
Mental illness is a lie.
Mental illness, they saythere's something wrong in your
inside your head, your brain.
They call it a chemicalimbalance.
We need to give you uhantidepressants or anything
(18:39):
else, and then we can fix it,and then hopefully you will be
okay.
That's a lie.
There's nothing wrong in yourbrain.
So that's why I call mentalillness currently a
straitjacket.
We're putting people with alabel where we can medicate
them, where we can label them aslike you're sick and you're
(19:00):
sick for the rest of your life,which is not true.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (19:03):
I just want to be mindful that some
listeners, I I don't think thatthere's certain diagnosis like
when you're getting intoschizophrenia or um different
elements where their reality ismuch different in a string.
And there are some people thatare born with, you know, a
(19:24):
chemical imbalance.
So it's not that you put it allor all or nothing on people.
I do believe that umpharmaceuticals are leveraging
trying to tell people thatthere's something wrong with
them so that they can medicaterather than find out, well, how
does your biology work and howcan it be best suit you rather
than you fit in this box?
(19:45):
So I think we are given a kindof prognosis of, well, you
follow this and you everythingwill be fine, like a carrot in
front of the donkey kind ofscenario.
However, to for me to say thatthere's no mental illness, I
wouldn't, I think that would bevery unjust for the population
(20:08):
that has tried everything andthat there is, there are
chemical imbalances because theway biology was created, it it's
lacking certain things.
Like from for me, for instance,a part of my thyroid doesn't
produce certain iodines and it'snot nothing that I did.
It was just the way I was bornthat way.
Arnold Beekes (20:27):
So that doesn't mean that you are ill.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (20:30):
No, it doesn't mean that I'm ill.
And I understand that whereit's given that kind of stigma
that there's an illness, thatyou aren't fitting that perfect
model of what we deem as health.
So I think yes, we are beingmeasured to a standard uh that
if you don't meet that, thenthere's something wrong with you
rather than treating everybodywith their unique biology.
Arnold Beekes (20:55):
Exactly.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (20:56):
Yeah.
So I I agree with you on that.
I just I'm just mindful becausecertain listeners may hear this
and they get triggered by itbecause it's like you don't know
my experience and what I'mgoing through and and whatnot.
So um I just want to havecompassion and let the listeners
know that I see them and thatthey are heard about the
(21:18):
experience.
Because it is a very, you know,it it is uh a hot topic.
Uh, I think there isn't enoughresearch.
We talk about the brain, yetwhere is the nervous system?
Because the nervous system iswhat's intaking all of our
sensations and then scriptingand protecting things.
(21:39):
So in your brain fitness, doyou dive into that nervous
system to better understand andour emotions?
Arnold Beekes (21:47):
Yes, I I started first studying psychology,
self-help.
I'm a certified coach.
Then I'm like, that doesn'tprovide the answers.
Then I studied neuroscience andeverything around that.
Well, these guys inneuroscience they don't know
(22:09):
much, let me put it politely.
Well and they admit it, whichis at least honest.
And now I'm more intoconsciousness, yeah.
So it's um it it is not anexact science at the moment,
yeah.
And and even like I say,neurosurgeons and everything,
(22:31):
there are a lot of things whichI don't know.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (22:34):
Yeah, it's a mystery for a reason.
Science, I think what peopledon't realize is that science
and medicine is always on aquest.
There is not an absolute truthwith things, and they don't have
control over a life force.
All they can do is give moretime, possibly.
Like when I hear save a life,oh, you saved my life, it's
(22:55):
like, well, is it saving a life,or is it just that you were
given a little bit more time foryour life?
Because at the end of the day,people pass away and there was
nothing that you could do aboutit.
So the same thing that createdyou is the same thing that can
say that it's no longer.
Do you believe in that?
Or is it that you are incontrol of your life force in
(23:18):
your life?
Arnold Beekes (23:20):
No, I totally believe I'm totally not in
control, and and I I'm 300%convinced that every human being
is unique.
So what happens to you or to mecould have a similar, but it
just could have a total oppositeeffect.
And what I'm I totally believethat somehow I'm programmed and
(23:46):
I I have no clue how my life isgonna show up or whatever.
If if you would ask me in my20s, like Arnold, you you will
be working on mental health, andyou're living in Romania, would
say you were totally stupid.
It's like yeah, it's like andand I I have the feeling that I
(24:06):
had totally no control aboutthat.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (24:09):
Yeah.
How did you develop the trustwithin yourself into that
unknown and not having control?
Because our brain is made tomake meaning of everything.
And so when you when you gointo a conscious state, it's
releasing that filter of themind has to make meaning and be
(24:29):
in the everything and beobservant and allow there to be
a flow and a guidance.
So, how did you learn to starttrusting within and not trusting
these visual eyes and this makethis mind that wants to make
meaning and control and reallysettle into consciousness?
Arnold Beekes (24:47):
Yes, that that is what we call the comfort zone,
and and that is what theinstitution they want us to stay
in our comfort zone because weare programmed to stay in our
comfort zone.
And fortunately, I never hadmuch of a comfort zone.
(25:09):
I told you I grew up in adysfunctional family.
My father was a militaryofficer, and he was at home even
worse than at his work.
So there was always fear.
Fear that he would be angry,fear that he would criticize,
fear that I didn't do somethinggood.
So there's no comfort zone.
(25:29):
So that's how I grew up.
In the business environment,mostly of the time, they well, I
grew into that.
They they asked me to set upnew products, new services, new
technology, which is bydefinition uncertain.
Which by definition, there's noplan or programming, you just
(25:51):
have to figure it out.
And well, maybe partly becauseI'm used to uncertainty and
getting out of my comfort zone.
I was very good at it.
And now into well, diving intothe deep water not knowing where
you're going is like that'ssomething where I was I'm
comfortable with beinguncomfortable.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (26:13):
So let me ask you this
learn to rest and feel safe?
How did you learn for your bodyto rest and to feel safe, not
to have that fear, not to feelthat there has to be production
to be able to be in stillness?
Arnold Beekes (26:32):
Well, I tried a lot of things, yeah.
I was even a spiritual teacherat some point.
I meditated, I don't nowanymore, but I meditated for
something like 15 years.
Um, so I'm constantly figuringout what helps me to get out of
my head, and and and which isvery easy.
(26:53):
Well, I know a lot of peoplethat you start ruminating and
repeating, and it's all the sameand everything, yeah.
Uh, but what helped for me umis doing sports, which actually
changed four years ago.
I've been doing sports all ofmy life, and that was my way of
really being in anotherenvironment and doing something
(27:16):
else.
But four years ago, I had avery severe car crash, I nearly
died.
Now I can barely walk, my heelis destroyed, so I cannot do
well all of the sports I didbefore, I cannot do them
anymore.
So I'm still finding ways to torelax, and I'm I'm constantly
(27:39):
but the main thing, and well,I'm I'm I'm really happy about
it.
I I trained myself from beingin a wheelchair walking with
crutches, and now I'm able towalk like every morning 45
minutes.
That's really good to get outof my head.
Yeah, that's a huge and that'swhat I recommend to people
(28:02):
because most people,unfortunately, not all people,
but but everybody can walk.
And and I walk a bit with alimp over there, but it's like
it feels so great, be in yourbody, yeah, yeah, and movement,
yeah, yeah.
So, like I said before, Iwouldn't say all the sports I
did, but well, that's the mostterrible thing.
(28:26):
Yeah, I still have a lot ofeffects from from the accident,
but it'll like I cannot do mysports anymore.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (28:32):
Yeah, so you had to adapt and find
something else to be able tocome out.
And the as I say, you know,many people are neck up, that's
where they live.
They don't even know what itfeels like to be in their body.
So when I do those two-minute,that mindful uh moment, and when
I talk about the ache and thepains, like people are like, oh,
(28:53):
I didn't even know I had that,or I didn't even know that this
was going on because we don'tknow how to be in the body.
And for you to be in awheelchair, crutches, and then
walking, it took a lot ofawareness and being in that body
and telling certain, because Icompletely ruptured my achalase
and I had to learn how to walkagain.
(29:13):
So I know that that frustrationwith your mind of like leg just
move and foot just move andfind the balance and then
getting frustrated that it's notworking like it used to and
having to slow down.
Yet it really for myselfdeepens that body awareness,
that mindfulness.
And also it really deepened thepractice of being kind with
(29:36):
myself when that inner criticwants to come up because it's
not looking like it used to,really taking in of what's here
right now and having kindnesswith it.
Arnold Beekes (29:48):
Absolutely.
That's the one thing I I say tomost people, and it touches
most people, is like be kindinstead of the inner critic,
become an inner cheerleader.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (29:59):
Yeah.
I like that.
Arnold Beekes (30:02):
That is really, really, really important.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (30:05):
Yeah.
Arnold Beekes (30:05):
And that's what I do all the time.
I'm I'm just living here inthis city, in this country.
I knew nobody.
I don't speak the language.
I'd never been here.
So talking about beingcomfortable with uncomfortable.
Yeah.
But like, so I I'm just inthis, but I'm just living by
myself.
Yeah.
And I'm I'm doing every day.
(30:27):
It's like, okay, Arnold, welldone.
Yeah.
Well, I made some really goodprogress.
So sometimes I'm like, yeah,and then well, if people would
see me, maybe they'd say I'mcrazy, but it'll like it's
really crucial.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (30:40):
It is, it's important.
I don't think we are taughtenough to celebrate ourselves,
to cheer ourselves on.
We're always looking for thatexternal.
Arnold Beekes (30:48):
We're taught to criticize ourselves.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (30:50):
Yeah.
We we we're looking externallyfor that validation, not
realizing no, we have the powerto validate ourselves and make
sure that we're cheeringourselves on along the journey
because it's the small thingsthat make big impact.
And I, you know, when you saidthat, I think what's what you're
really doing is always feedingyour curiosity, because your
(31:12):
curiosity is insatiable.
That when you put yourself insituations that you don't know,
it really helps to feed thatcuriosity to learn more, to
figure out things.
Because when you know it all,then I think it might feel a
little too claustrophobic.
So your curiosity needs to befed.
Arnold Beekes (31:31):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And that's true for anything.
I I just I decided a few weeksago that I will move on to
another country in a half years.
It's like that's the ultimatething for people.
It's like go to another countrywhere you've never been, you
(31:55):
don't speak the language, youdon't know anyone, but just go
anyway.
And I love it.
It it's being the first time Idid it, is is like I would say
the yeah, it's the multiplierwhere a lot of processes started
started.
So but when I tell people, andwell, I'm not the youngest guy
(32:18):
anymore.
When I tell people when whenwhen I was leaving the
Netherlands when yeah, my motherdied, and and I had to sell the
house and everything, they'relike, Arnold, what are you
doing?
I'm going to Romania.
Oh, do you have a job there?
No.
Have you been there?
No.
You speak the language, no,they're out, they're totally
out.
Yeah, it's uh but it's soenriching for your life, it's so
(32:43):
enriching, and it's it's such anice experience, and it's so
good for your confidence andyour curiosity and and your
energy and understanding theworld a little bit better.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (32:57):
Yeah, how is your sister?
Arnold Beekes (33:00):
My sister is basically staying the same.
I would say she she's depressedsince she was 14, 15, and it's
not changed much throughout herlife, and but she's comfortable
with being that.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (33:17):
I think that can be the most painful is
witnessing that kind of pain insomebody else and not being
able to do anything, and thereit is so painful and irritating
at the same time, and I try tohelp her with so much.
Arnold Beekes (33:32):
I paid coaches for her, I send her books, I
talk with her, but nothinghelps.
Because the main thing is like,well, like you said, I'm a
coach, I'm a trainer.
Well, I'm a coach for more than50 years now.
It's like I cannot do anythingif the person doesn't want to
(33:54):
grow or change.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (33:56):
The willingness, yeah.
If there's no willingness,that's the willingness opens up
the door.
Arnold Beekes (34:03):
Exactly, but she doesn't want.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (34:05):
Yeah, because the nervous system is a
very strong, intelligent system.
So when it's protection and anddefense, and when you've been
insulated in this sameprogramming and script, it's
very difficult to come out ofthat kind of prison of that
nervous system.
And many of us don't know howto befriend the nervous system.
(34:26):
We try to attack it and getthrough it, where it's like, no,
befriend and integrate to havea better understanding of what
why is this protection there?
Why is it more comfortable tostay in such a low state and not
really be able to open yourselfup to receive abundance and
possibilities and potentials andyou know, let that light of
(34:49):
your own awareness shine inthose shadowy parts and
everything else.
Yet you can bang on the doorall you want.
It's just like sobriety.
Uh, you know, you can keepbringing people to uh counseling
or detox and all that yet, andthey can get sober, yet all of a
sudden they all of a sudden goright back because if it's not
(35:12):
activated internally and thatthere's a willingness to go
beyond what they know, thenthere's nothing you can do on
the outside.
And that for especially whenit's family members and it's
somebody close, that's the mostpainful, helpless state to be
in.
And you know, did you ever feellike you weren't doing enough
(35:33):
for her?
Arnold Beekes (35:35):
Well, yeah, I I I tried so many different things,
and every time the well thedoor was shut by throwing it in
my face, yes.
It was like it's I I well, Iwould say there's not a week or
well, yeah, that goes by thatdoesn't think about that.
And it's like she never askshow I'm doing, yeah.
(35:57):
And if I ask her how she'sdoing, she doesn't answer.
So it's like it's and well, andwould say it's a minor thing
which caused that, but it's likeshe's so comfortable with that
that she's the victim, yeah.
And that victimhood makes thatshe doesn't need to stretch
(36:21):
herself.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (36:24):
Yeah, I just want to hold a moment to
feel that pain because it's astrain and it's you know, um
it's painful.
So I just want to see you inthat and recognize that in a way
that uh gives admiration thatyou still choose life, you still
(36:46):
choose and living and notgetting stuck.
How did you learn to because itsounds like you were able to
put some separation from thatand you know, be in your own
life and and cultivate what youneed to do and listen to about
this brain fitness and bringingthat forth.
How did you learn to create thatseparation so that you didn't
(37:07):
feel you had to still be therefor her?
Arnold Beekes (37:11):
Because our family was so dysfunctional, I
was thrown on myself.
Yeah, so I had to take care ofmyself, and really nobody helped
me or supported me.
So that is why I'm also verycomfortable in being alone and
and and and trying to get out ofshit.
(37:31):
And and that is what I it's nota conscious decision, it's like
unconsciously I learned from avery young age.
NatNat Be - LiftOne (37:42):
Understood.
So I want to bring you into areflective question since you're
talking about childhood.
I want to ask you to bring thisawareness right now that you
have and to go back to your18-year-old self.
And you have three words totell your 18-year-old self to
(38:02):
get to this moment.
What would those three wordsbe?
Arnold Beekes (38:06):
Live your own life, follow your heart, don't
care what other people think ordo.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (38:15):
Very powerful sentences.
So I know many listeners nowwant to know where do I find
more about this brain fitnessand where can I find more about
Arnold?
So could you let the listenersknow where they can find you and
where they can find more aboutbrain fitness?
Arnold Beekes (38:29):
Yes, thank you.
Um, the easiest way is to go tomy website called BrainFitness,
Braingym.fitness,braingym.fitness.
There they can find my I havesome master classes which are
personalized workshops and videoaround specific topics like
curiosity, like emotions, likehabits, like aging, yeah, uh,
(38:54):
your uniqueness.
So there are a couple ofdifferent masterclasses uh
available.
I have a training programcalled From Fitting In to Flying
Out, which is a 15-weektraining program where each week
I hold a live 90-minute sessionwith my clients, and then in
the week in between, well, Ihope you're gonna experiment
(39:17):
with it.
And uh and I also uh I just uhreleased a new book, it's called
The Adventures of Dr.
Alfred Moore.
It's about the transformationof a traditional doctor into a
social entrepreneur.
So brain.fitness, that is wherepeople can find me.
(39:37):
And if they still have anyquestions, there's a link where
they can book a meeting in myagenda.
NatNat Be - Lif (39:42):
Congratulations on the book.
Uh, and all of uh Arnold'sinformation will be in the show
notes, so it's easily clickable.
At any time, if there wasanything that popped up or you
know, curiosity came, just clickand contact Arnold.
There's a reason why that'ssignaled in there, and he
possibly has something thatyou've been seeking uh to help
(40:06):
you with your well-being andyour life.
Arnold, I want to ask you aquestion that I ask all the
guests from this conversation.
Is there something that youbelieve will leave a lasting
impression to empower thelisteners?
Arnold Beekes (40:22):
Well, I was going to say, but now even more based
upon our discussion, it is I Iwould like people to take three
simple messages that are simplebut not easy, is be kind, be
present, and be creative.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (40:40):
Very powerful.
Yes.
Indeed, they're simple, yetthey're not always easily
accessible, that you'll takeaction with them.
So I want to thank you fordoing the alchemy in your life,
that you have taken thoseimpurities and you've turned
them into gold, yet you haven'tkept the gold for yourself.
You're sharing it with otherpeople.
(41:00):
So thank you for all that youdo and all that you bring into
the world.
And I am wishing you health andI'm wishing you more vitality
in your body that those45-minute walks will be longer
and you'll be able to get intomore play and more movement in
your body.
So thank you for being you,Arnold.
Arnold Beekes (41:22):
Thank you.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (41:23):
Please remember to be kind to yourself.
Hey, you made it all the wayhere.
I appreciate you and your time.
If you found value in thisconversation, please share it
out.
If it was somebody that poppedinto your mind, take action and
share it out with them.
It possibly may not be themthat will benefit.
(41:44):
It's that they know somebodythat will benefit from listening
to this conversation.
So please take action and shareout the podcast.
You can find us on socialmedia, on Facebook, Instagram,
and TikTok under LiftOneself.
And if you want to inquireabout the work that I do and the
(42:04):
services that I provide topeople, come over on my website.
Come into a discovery call atliftoneself.com.
Until next time, pleaseremember to be kind and gentle
with yourself if you matter.
Welcome to the Lyft One Self Podcast.
I'm your host, Nat Nat, andtoday I have an amazing guest
all the way from Romania, and itis Arnold.
So, Arnold, would you be sograteful to introduce yourself
and let myself and the listenersknow a little bit about
yourself?
Arnold Beekes (00:17):
Yeah, well, luckily you say a little bit.
I'm trying, I'm trying tounderstand who I am.
It's uh it's been a lifelongjourney, and I I'm still
learning a lot and growing alot.
So, but that that makes lifeinteresting, I guess.
My my name is Arnold Bakers.
I have a Dutch passport.
(00:37):
Uh I grew up there and livedthere most of my life, but
currently I'm I'm living inRomania.
I'm intentionally saying I havea Dutch passport, not I'm
Dutch.
I don't identify with beingDutch, I I identify with being a
global citizen.
That that is truly, truly how Ifeel.
(00:58):
And um about myself, I grew upin a family where I guess these
days everyone would be labeledwith a mental illness now, but
not when I grew up there.
So that that was very, verychallenging.
Then well, I had a traditionalthing going in school, going to
(01:20):
university.
Well, later on, you can guesswhat I studied.
Nobody will, um, and then uh,well, I had to go in military
service, and then I I startedworking in the business world,
in the corporate world.
From an outside perspective,people would say I was quite
(01:41):
successful.
And then in 2000, well, I uhgot what well the Americans call
a perfect storm, likeeverything changed in my life,
uh, in well, mostly involuntaryand part voluntary, and since
(02:01):
then I I'm I'm I'm on thisjourney, is like from being a
corporate executive to who I am,what do I like, who do I want
to be, what do I want to do, andand that's an ongoing thing
because there is layers andlayers and layers which which
come up, and um, I'm currentlyand hopefully for a large part
(02:27):
of the rest of my life workingon what I call brain fitness,
which my intention is to helppeople really with mental and
emotional health, and althoughpeople associate the word mental
health, like oh, that's notgood, but that is because they
choose the wrong definition inthe medical system, let me put
(02:52):
it like that.
They talk about mental health,but it's really mental illness,
which doesn't exist either.
But yeah, they call it thehealthcare system, where it's in
essentially a sick care system.
So I'm really trying to focuson the health part in what's
invisible.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (03:11):
Yeah, I get that.
Uh we're aligned in a lot of uhthe work and some of the
journey uh that we have.
I was in the government before,so I get um, you know, changing
and transforming into what isit that I'm gonna do and what is
it that is within me that wantsto come out as creativity and
(03:33):
not just check off the boxesthat the world tells you that's
successful, that you actuallytake control of creating the
story of your life.
There's a lot of questions thatI have in regards to that.
Yet before that, will you joinme in a mindful moment so that
we can meet ourselves, check inwith ourselves, and then
continue on with the podcast?
Arnold Beekes (03:55):
Yes, that's fine with me.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (03:57):
And for the listeners, as you always
hear me, safety first, many ofyou are driving or using your
visual while listening to thepodcast.
Please don't close your eyes.
Yet every other prompt that Iam assisting us to go through,
you're able to do that.
So, Arnold, I'll ask you to getcomfortable in your seating.
And if it's safe to do so,you're gonna gently close your
(04:20):
eyes or soften your gaze.
And you're gonna bring yourawareness to watching your
breath go in and out.
And if it's possible to onlybreathe in and out through your
nose, and just let thatawareness watch the breath go in
(04:40):
and out.
You're not gonna try andcontrol the rhythm, you're just
gonna be aware of it, allowingit to guide you into your body.
There may be some sensations orfeelings coming up, and that's
okay.
You're safe to feel, you'resafe to let go.
(05:01):
Surrender the knee to control,release the knee to resist and
just be.
Now there may be some thoughtsor to-do lists or events that
(05:23):
have happened that have poppedup in your mind, and that's
okay.
Gently bring your awarenessback to your breath, beginning
again, creating space betweenthe awareness and the thoughts,
and dropping down into the body,being in stillness, in being
(05:50):
again, more thoughts may havepopped up.
Gently bring your awarenessback to your breath, creating
even more space between theawareness and the thoughts, and
completely surrendering into thebody, into the moment, into
(06:13):
being.
Now you may notice that theremight be some tension, right?
Because that you weren't awareof before.
That's okay, just breathe intothe body, allowing some
relaxation, some unnodding, someunclenching.
Now, if you can take a deepbreath in through your nose and
(06:42):
do a gentle exhale out of yourmouth, letting it all go.
Repeating that cycle again.
Gentle in.
And a deep exhale, letting itall go.
Now at your own time and atyour own pace, you're gonna
(07:06):
gently open your eyes and staywith your breath.
How's your heart doing?
Arnold Beekes (07:11):
My heart feels very comfortable.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (07:13):
So you mentioned the word brain
fitness, and I know many litlisteners are probably brain
fitness.
What do you mean by that?
And do I really want to engagein more fitness in my life?
Can you explain what that meansand how you came about the
title?
Arnold Beekes (07:30):
My definition of brain fitness is a state of
psychological and physicalwell-being in which an
individual uses his or heruniqueness, learns continuously,
deals with challenges, andcontributes to better life for
all.
That's the definition I'musing.
(07:51):
I came up with the name someyears ago, which was not a nice
moment.
I was going, I was accompanyingmy sister to a mental health
institution.
She is officially diagnosedwith depression, and she was
(08:12):
going through a program there,and actually, the the program
made things worse.
So I had to go with her to tellthe people leading or giving
the course that she's not gonnacontinue, and they were pushing
her to continue and to do thesame courses again, which
(08:34):
already didn't help at all, andagain made it worse.
And even while we were waitingoutside, because for the meeting
to start, my sister saw somesome other folks who were also
in the same, well, let me callit, program, and I let her talk
(08:55):
to them, so I stayed apartbecause well, I didn't know
them, and it appeared that twoof her classmates had committed
suicide in the week before.
So that's the setting where Iget to talk with the well, let's
(09:16):
call it leadership of themental health institution.
And at the end, I was totallyappalled that these guys were
just pushing utilization, theywere just pushing like they need
to get their classroom full,and not whether it worked or not
worked, it's like no, we westill got one slot, so you do it
(09:38):
again, and that they weretotally not informed about the
latest developments inpsychology and everything else,
nothing zero.
So we had that was the meeting.
I I I managed to get her out ofit.
Well, that was still theNetherlands.
(09:58):
Everybody's on the bike,including me and my sister.
But on the bike going backhome, home for me means the home
of my mother, who I was thecaretaker for.
And my mother had dementia andParkinson.
So that's when popped in myhead is like both my sister and
(10:18):
my mother are screwed.
There's no way that, well, atleast the way it looked like
that there will be a cure, thatthere will be healed, and
whatever.
So I'm like, wow, why can't wedo something on prevention?
Why can't we do just like we dowith body fitness?
(10:41):
You most people do body fitnessto stay healthy and that
they're able to do the thingswhich they want to do with their
body.
Why don't we do somethingsimilar with our brain?
Hence the word brain fitnesspopped in my mind.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (10:57):
I know many listeners may be like, oh
my gosh, this sounds like mystory, or I know somebody in
that story.
And I just want to meet thelistener right there because
words can be very impactful.
So hearing suicide, hearingdepression, hearing dementia, it
activates that nervous system.
Yet, yeah, as you're seeing,Arnold is when he was in the
(11:20):
trenches of his experience, asolution popped up.
And I'm thankful that you'relistening to that calling that's
coming from within you of howcan we better remedy what is
happening with a lot ofindividuals where they're trying
to seek help, yet a lot of theinstitutes aren't meeting the
(11:41):
individual where they are andfinding out, you know, how this
can better the people.
So moving back, you said thatyou were in the corporate world
and you did military service.
What had you leave that type oflife?
Arnold Beekes (12:03):
Well, in the corporate world, I I basically
was kicked out.
So I was laid off.
Later on, they wanted me back,but then I said, no way I'm
gonna get back to thatenvironment.
And this was in 2000.
(12:23):
So, mind you, that's a longtime ago.
And I was in the Netherlands,which is different from the US
and Canada.
It's like I want to start myown business, I want to do
something for myself, and Ibecame very, very good in
meeting expectations of otherpeople and doing what other
people want me to do.
(12:44):
And I'm like, I really dislikebosses.
So it's like, I want to be myown boss and figure out what
that is, and well, I don't thinkI even had the word start up
then, because again, this was in2000, and this this was in the
(13:06):
Netherlands.
So later on, that terminologypopped up and is now
commonplace, but it was notthen.
But that that was where itstarted.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (13:20):
And you know, I know many listeners
because as I said, I'm inCanada, and uh a lot of
listeners will listen from theUS also.
And we have we have thisconception that the Netherlands
is like the utopia of health,and everybody's joyful,
everybody's in good fitness,everybody's in good spirits.
(13:41):
Yet for your experience, thatisn't the actual thing.
So for those that don't fitinto the box of wellness and
fitness, where are they findingtheir help there in the
Netherlands?
Like, is there more, are youseeing a more increase in
mental, you know, um illness orthat people aren't really able
(14:07):
to like the world is a shit showright now.
So when people are talkingabout mental illnesses, it's
like who who isn't impacted bythe instability of everything
that's going on?
Yet when you want to go and askfor help, it seems like it's a
stigma.
Is there stigma around theNetherlands around mental
health?
Arnold Beekes (14:30):
Well, let me first address your question like
everything in the Netherlandswas fine and good.
Perhaps that was maybe in the70s and 80s.
Yeah.
Um, but I noticed that forpeople for any country and any
city, people assume that whenthey learned about something,
(14:50):
that it's static.
But just like yourself, yourrelationship, your environment,
it's dynamic, it changes all thetime.
Yeah, so the Netherlands oftoday is totally different from
the Netherlands from the 70s,80s, even 90s, and it's going
really, really downhill.
(15:11):
Yeah, but that's true for allof the Western world.
Look at the US.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (15:18):
Oh, yeah.
Arnold Beekes (15:20):
But look at England, Germany, France, Spain,
everywhere.
So it's everywhere happening,yeah.
And and those things areunfortunately going downhill.
So, again, people, please don'tstick to a label which you once
find out and take it for therest of your life.
That's one thing.
(15:41):
The the the other thing, yourquestion is is mental health,
mental illness, something thatit is a global phenomenon.
It's a global phenomenon.
I may I share with you somenumbers, which is a research I
did.
There were actually on a globalscale 197 million global mental
(16:04):
health cases in 1952.
That's when they startedmeasuring with the DSM and a
formal process.
That was then 7.6 percent ofthe world population in 2024.
So very latest numbers, we talkabout 2.4 billion cases, 197
(16:25):
million to 2.4 billion cases,from 7.6 percent uh percentage
of the world population to 29.5percent of the world population.
So this is huge.
And I I wanted to find out whatis the reason for that.
You mentioned stigma and thereare many other reasons.
(16:50):
Stigma is less stigma, is atime is is part of it, but it's
not the main reason.
The main reason is prettyunclear.
But then I asked, is like maybeit's because the population
growth, and I did a study aroundthat.
It it's actually there was apopulation decline, so a decline
(17:16):
in the growth, it didn't grow.
So that's that that is not areason.
Then I checked, like, is it theDSM is the diagnostic and
statistic manual of thepsychology industry where they
put you in a category and labelyou as mental ill.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (17:33):
Yeah, that book.
Arnold Beekes (17:34):
I don't agree with that book in a lot of ways,
like, yeah, yeah, but it's itlike it started like in 1952,
they had 106 labels, and nowwe're close to 300.
Because they don't know, butthat is not the reason.
That is not the reason, so it'sa combination of diagnostics,
awareness, change in healthsystem, everything else, but
(17:58):
it's not, but it's clear thatthere's something strange going
on, and one of the main reasons,what I think are a couple, and
one of the main reasons is thepathologizing that you're having
problems, you're havingchallenges in your life, and
immediately oh you're this weneed to give you a medicine, and
(18:19):
that's it.
People are not sick.
Mental illness is a lie.
Mental illness, they saythere's something wrong in your
inside your head, your brain.
They call it a chemicalimbalance.
We need to give you uhantidepressants or anything
(18:39):
else, and then we can fix it,and then hopefully you will be
okay.
That's a lie.
There's nothing wrong in yourbrain.
So that's why I call mentalillness currently a
straitjacket.
We're putting people with alabel where we can medicate
them, where we can label them aslike you're sick and you're
(19:00):
sick for the rest of your life,which is not true.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (19:03):
I just want to be mindful that some
listeners, I I don't think thatthere's certain diagnosis like
when you're getting intoschizophrenia or um different
elements where their reality ismuch different in a string.
And there are some people thatare born with, you know, a
(19:24):
chemical imbalance.
So it's not that you put it allor all or nothing on people.
I do believe that umpharmaceuticals are leveraging
trying to tell people thatthere's something wrong with
them so that they can medicaterather than find out, well, how
does your biology work and howcan it be best suit you rather
than you fit in this box?
(19:45):
So I think we are given a kindof prognosis of, well, you
follow this and you everythingwill be fine, like a carrot in
front of the donkey kind ofscenario.
However, to for me to say thatthere's no mental illness, I
wouldn't, I think that would bevery unjust for the population
(20:08):
that has tried everything andthat there is, there are
chemical imbalances because theway biology was created, it it's
lacking certain things.
Like from for me, for instance,a part of my thyroid doesn't
produce certain iodines and it'snot nothing that I did.
It was just the way I was bornthat way.
Arnold Beekes (20:27):
So that doesn't mean that you are ill.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (20:30):
No, it doesn't mean that I'm ill.
And I understand that whereit's given that kind of stigma
that there's an illness, thatyou aren't fitting that perfect
model of what we deem as health.
So I think yes, we are beingmeasured to a standard uh that
if you don't meet that, thenthere's something wrong with you
rather than treating everybodywith their unique biology.
Arnold Beekes (20:55):
Exactly.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (20:56):
Yeah.
So I I agree with you on that.
I just I'm just mindful becausecertain listeners may hear this
and they get triggered by itbecause it's like you don't know
my experience and what I'mgoing through and and whatnot.
So um I just want to havecompassion and let the listeners
know that I see them and thatthey are heard about the
(21:18):
experience.
Because it is a very, you know,it it is uh a hot topic.
Uh, I think there isn't enoughresearch.
We talk about the brain, yetwhere is the nervous system?
Because the nervous system iswhat's intaking all of our
sensations and then scriptingand protecting things.
(21:39):
So in your brain fitness, doyou dive into that nervous
system to better understand andour emotions?
Arnold Beekes (21:47):
Yes, I I started first studying psychology,
self-help.
I'm a certified coach.
Then I'm like, that doesn'tprovide the answers.
Then I studied neuroscience andeverything around that.
Well, these guys inneuroscience they don't know
(22:09):
much, let me put it politely.
Well and they admit it, whichis at least honest.
And now I'm more intoconsciousness, yeah.
So it's um it it is not anexact science at the moment,
yeah.
And and even like I say,neurosurgeons and everything,
(22:31):
there are a lot of things whichI don't know.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (22:34):
Yeah, it's a mystery for a reason.
Science, I think what peopledon't realize is that science
and medicine is always on aquest.
There is not an absolute truthwith things, and they don't have
control over a life force.
All they can do is give moretime, possibly.
Like when I hear save a life,oh, you saved my life, it's
(22:55):
like, well, is it saving a life,or is it just that you were
given a little bit more time foryour life?
Because at the end of the day,people pass away and there was
nothing that you could do aboutit.
So the same thing that createdyou is the same thing that can
say that it's no longer.
Do you believe in that?
Or is it that you are incontrol of your life force in
(23:18):
your life?
Arnold Beekes (23:20):
No, I totally believe I'm totally not in
control, and and I I'm 300%convinced that every human being
is unique.
So what happens to you or to mecould have a similar, but it
just could have a total oppositeeffect.
And what I'm I totally believethat somehow I'm programmed and
(23:46):
I I have no clue how my life isgonna show up or whatever.
If if you would ask me in my20s, like Arnold, you you will
be working on mental health, andyou're living in Romania, would
say you were totally stupid.
It's like yeah, it's like andand I I have the feeling that I
(24:06):
had totally no control aboutthat.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (24:09):
Yeah.
How did you develop the trustwithin yourself into that
unknown and not having control?
Because our brain is made tomake meaning of everything.
And so when you when you gointo a conscious state, it's
releasing that filter of themind has to make meaning and be
(24:29):
in the everything and beobservant and allow there to be
a flow and a guidance.
So, how did you learn to starttrusting within and not trusting
these visual eyes and this makethis mind that wants to make
meaning and control and reallysettle into consciousness?
Arnold Beekes (24:47):
Yes, that that is what we call the comfort zone,
and and that is what theinstitution they want us to stay
in our comfort zone because weare programmed to stay in our
comfort zone.
And fortunately, I never hadmuch of a comfort zone.
(25:09):
I told you I grew up in adysfunctional family.
My father was a militaryofficer, and he was at home even
worse than at his work.
So there was always fear.
Fear that he would be angry,fear that he would criticize,
fear that I didn't do somethinggood.
So there's no comfort zone.
(25:29):
So that's how I grew up.
In the business environment,mostly of the time, they well, I
grew into that.
They they asked me to set upnew products, new services, new
technology, which is bydefinition uncertain.
Which by definition, there's noplan or programming, you just
(25:51):
have to figure it out.
And well, maybe partly becauseI'm used to uncertainty and
getting out of my comfort zone.
I was very good at it.
And now into well, diving intothe deep water not knowing where
you're going is like that'ssomething where I was I'm
comfortable with beinguncomfortable.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (26:13):
So let me ask you this
learn to rest and feel safe?
How did you learn for your bodyto rest and to feel safe, not
to have that fear, not to feelthat there has to be production
to be able to be in stillness?
Arnold Beekes (26:32):
Well, I tried a lot of things, yeah.
I was even a spiritual teacherat some point.
I meditated, I don't nowanymore, but I meditated for
something like 15 years.
Um, so I'm constantly figuringout what helps me to get out of
my head, and and and which isvery easy.
(26:53):
Well, I know a lot of peoplethat you start ruminating and
repeating, and it's all the sameand everything, yeah.
Uh, but what helped for me umis doing sports, which actually
changed four years ago.
I've been doing sports all ofmy life, and that was my way of
really being in anotherenvironment and doing something
(27:16):
else.
But four years ago, I had avery severe car crash, I nearly
died.
Now I can barely walk, my heelis destroyed, so I cannot do
well all of the sports I didbefore, I cannot do them
anymore.
So I'm still finding ways to torelax, and I'm I'm constantly
(27:39):
but the main thing, and well,I'm I'm I'm really happy about
it.
I I trained myself from beingin a wheelchair walking with
crutches, and now I'm able towalk like every morning 45
minutes.
That's really good to get outof my head.
Yeah, that's a huge and that'swhat I recommend to people
(28:02):
because most people,unfortunately, not all people,
but but everybody can walk.
And and I walk a bit with alimp over there, but it's like
it feels so great, be in yourbody, yeah, yeah, and movement,
yeah, yeah.
So, like I said before, Iwouldn't say all the sports I
did, but well, that's the mostterrible thing.
(28:26):
Yeah, I still have a lot ofeffects from from the accident,
but it'll like I cannot do mysports anymore.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (28:32):
Yeah, so you had to adapt and find
something else to be able tocome out.
And the as I say, you know,many people are neck up, that's
where they live.
They don't even know what itfeels like to be in their body.
So when I do those two-minute,that mindful uh moment, and when
I talk about the ache and thepains, like people are like, oh,
(28:53):
I didn't even know I had that,or I didn't even know that this
was going on because we don'tknow how to be in the body.
And for you to be in awheelchair, crutches, and then
walking, it took a lot ofawareness and being in that body
and telling certain, because Icompletely ruptured my achalase
and I had to learn how to walkagain.
(29:13):
So I know that that frustrationwith your mind of like leg just
move and foot just move andfind the balance and then
getting frustrated that it's notworking like it used to and
having to slow down.
Yet it really for myselfdeepens that body awareness,
that mindfulness.
And also it really deepened thepractice of being kind with
(29:36):
myself when that inner criticwants to come up because it's
not looking like it used to,really taking in of what's here
right now and having kindnesswith it.
Arnold Beekes (29:48):
Absolutely.
That's the one thing I I say tomost people, and it touches
most people, is like be kindinstead of the inner critic,
become an inner cheerleader.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (29:59):
Yeah.
I like that.
Arnold Beekes (30:02):
That is really, really, really important.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (30:05):
Yeah.
Arnold Beekes (30:05):
And that's what I do all the time.
I'm I'm just living here inthis city, in this country.
I knew nobody.
I don't speak the language.
I'd never been here.
So talking about beingcomfortable with uncomfortable.
Yeah.
But like, so I I'm just inthis, but I'm just living by
myself.
Yeah.
And I'm I'm doing every day.
(30:27):
It's like, okay, Arnold, welldone.
Yeah.
Well, I made some really goodprogress.
So sometimes I'm like, yeah,and then well, if people would
see me, maybe they'd say I'mcrazy, but it'll like it's
really crucial.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (30:40):
It is, it's important.
I don't think we are taughtenough to celebrate ourselves,
to cheer ourselves on.
We're always looking for thatexternal.
Arnold Beekes (30:48):
We're taught to criticize ourselves.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (30:50):
Yeah.
We we we're looking externallyfor that validation, not
realizing no, we have the powerto validate ourselves and make
sure that we're cheeringourselves on along the journey
because it's the small thingsthat make big impact.
And I, you know, when you saidthat, I think what's what you're
really doing is always feedingyour curiosity, because your
(31:12):
curiosity is insatiable.
That when you put yourself insituations that you don't know,
it really helps to feed thatcuriosity to learn more, to
figure out things.
Because when you know it all,then I think it might feel a
little too claustrophobic.
So your curiosity needs to befed.
Arnold Beekes (31:31):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And that's true for anything.
I I just I decided a few weeksago that I will move on to
another country in a half years.
It's like that's the ultimatething for people.
It's like go to another countrywhere you've never been, you
(31:55):
don't speak the language, youdon't know anyone, but just go
anyway.
And I love it.
It it's being the first time Idid it, is is like I would say
the yeah, it's the multiplierwhere a lot of processes started
started.
So but when I tell people, andwell, I'm not the youngest guy
(32:18):
anymore.
When I tell people when whenwhen I was leaving the
Netherlands when yeah, my motherdied, and and I had to sell the
house and everything, they'relike, Arnold, what are you
doing?
I'm going to Romania.
Oh, do you have a job there?
No.
Have you been there?
No.
You speak the language, no,they're out, they're totally
out.
Yeah, it's uh but it's soenriching for your life, it's so
(32:43):
enriching, and it's it's such anice experience, and it's so
good for your confidence andyour curiosity and and your
energy and understanding theworld a little bit better.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (32:57):
Yeah, how is your sister?
Arnold Beekes (33:00):
My sister is basically staying the same.
I would say she she's depressedsince she was 14, 15, and it's
not changed much throughout herlife, and but she's comfortable
with being that.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (33:17):
I think that can be the most painful is
witnessing that kind of pain insomebody else and not being
able to do anything, and thereit is so painful and irritating
at the same time, and I try tohelp her with so much.
Arnold Beekes (33:32):
I paid coaches for her, I send her books, I
talk with her, but nothinghelps.
Because the main thing is like,well, like you said, I'm a
coach, I'm a trainer.
Well, I'm a coach for more than50 years now.
It's like I cannot do anythingif the person doesn't want to
(33:54):
grow or change.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (33:56):
The willingness, yeah.
If there's no willingness,that's the willingness opens up
the door.
Arnold Beekes (34:03):
Exactly, but she doesn't want.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (34:05):
Yeah, because the nervous system is a
very strong, intelligent system.
So when it's protection and anddefense, and when you've been
insulated in this sameprogramming and script, it's
very difficult to come out ofthat kind of prison of that
nervous system.
And many of us don't know howto befriend the nervous system.
(34:26):
We try to attack it and getthrough it, where it's like, no,
befriend and integrate to havea better understanding of what
why is this protection there?
Why is it more comfortable tostay in such a low state and not
really be able to open yourselfup to receive abundance and
possibilities and potentials andyou know, let that light of
(34:49):
your own awareness shine inthose shadowy parts and
everything else.
Yet you can bang on the doorall you want.
It's just like sobriety.
Uh, you know, you can keepbringing people to uh counseling
or detox and all that yet, andthey can get sober, yet all of a
sudden they all of a sudden goright back because if it's not
(35:12):
activated internally and thatthere's a willingness to go
beyond what they know, thenthere's nothing you can do on
the outside.
And that for especially whenit's family members and it's
somebody close, that's the mostpainful, helpless state to be
in.
And you know, did you ever feellike you weren't doing enough
(35:33):
for her?
Arnold Beekes (35:35):
Well, yeah, I I I tried so many different things,
and every time the well thedoor was shut by throwing it in
my face, yes.
It was like it's I I well, Iwould say there's not a week or
well, yeah, that goes by thatdoesn't think about that.
And it's like she never askshow I'm doing, yeah.
(35:57):
And if I ask her how she'sdoing, she doesn't answer.
So it's like it's and well, andwould say it's a minor thing
which caused that, but it's likeshe's so comfortable with that
that she's the victim, yeah.
And that victimhood makes thatshe doesn't need to stretch
(36:21):
herself.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (36:24):
Yeah, I just want to hold a moment to
feel that pain because it's astrain and it's you know, um
it's painful.
So I just want to see you inthat and recognize that in a way
that uh gives admiration thatyou still choose life, you still
(36:46):
choose and living and notgetting stuck.
How did you learn to because itsounds like you were able to
put some separation from thatand you know, be in your own
life and and cultivate what youneed to do and listen to about
this brain fitness and bringingthat forth.
How did you learn to create thatseparation so that you didn't
(37:07):
feel you had to still be therefor her?
Arnold Beekes (37:11):
Because our family was so dysfunctional, I
was thrown on myself.
Yeah, so I had to take care ofmyself, and really nobody helped
me or supported me.
So that is why I'm also verycomfortable in being alone and
and and and trying to get out ofshit.
(37:31):
And and that is what I it's nota conscious decision, it's like
unconsciously I learned from avery young age.
NatNat Be - LiftOne (37:42):
Understood.
So I want to bring you into areflective question since you're
talking about childhood.
I want to ask you to bring thisawareness right now that you
have and to go back to your18-year-old self.
And you have three words totell your 18-year-old self to
(38:02):
get to this moment.
What would those three wordsbe?
Arnold Beekes (38:06):
Live your own life, follow your heart, don't
care what other people think ordo.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (38:15):
Very powerful sentences.
So I know many listeners nowwant to know where do I find
more about this brain fitnessand where can I find more about
Arnold?
So could you let the listenersknow where they can find you and
where they can find more aboutbrain fitness?
Arnold Beekes (38:29):
Yes, thank you.
Um, the easiest way is to go tomy website called BrainFitness,
Braingym.fitness,braingym.fitness.
There they can find my I havesome master classes which are
personalized workshops and videoaround specific topics like
curiosity, like emotions, likehabits, like aging, yeah, uh,
(38:54):
your uniqueness.
So there are a couple ofdifferent masterclasses uh
available.
I have a training programcalled From Fitting In to Flying
Out, which is a 15-weektraining program where each week
I hold a live 90-minute sessionwith my clients, and then in
the week in between, well, Ihope you're gonna experiment
(39:17):
with it.
And uh and I also uh I just uhreleased a new book, it's called
The Adventures of Dr.
Alfred Moore.
It's about the transformationof a traditional doctor into a
social entrepreneur.
So brain.fitness, that is wherepeople can find me.
(39:37):
And if they still have anyquestions, there's a link where
they can book a meeting in myagenda.
NatNat Be - Lif (39:42):
Congratulations on the book.
Uh, and all of uh Arnold'sinformation will be in the show
notes, so it's easily clickable.
At any time, if there wasanything that popped up or you
know, curiosity came, just clickand contact Arnold.
There's a reason why that'ssignaled in there, and he
possibly has something thatyou've been seeking uh to help
(40:06):
you with your well-being andyour life.
Arnold, I want to ask you aquestion that I ask all the
guests from this conversation.
Is there something that youbelieve will leave a lasting
impression to empower thelisteners?
Arnold Beekes (40:22):
Well, I was going to say, but now even more based
upon our discussion, it is I Iwould like people to take three
simple messages that are simplebut not easy, is be kind, be
present, and be creative.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (40:40):
Very powerful.
Yes.
Indeed, they're simple, yetthey're not always easily
accessible, that you'll takeaction with them.
So I want to thank you fordoing the alchemy in your life,
that you have taken thoseimpurities and you've turned
them into gold, yet you haven'tkept the gold for yourself.
You're sharing it with otherpeople.
(41:00):
So thank you for all that youdo and all that you bring into
the world.
And I am wishing you health andI'm wishing you more vitality
in your body that those45-minute walks will be longer
and you'll be able to get intomore play and more movement in
your body.
So thank you for being you,Arnold.
Arnold Beekes (41:22):
Thank you.
NatNat Be - LiftOneSelf (41:23):
Please remember to be kind to yourself.
Hey, you made it all the wayhere.
I appreciate you and your time.
If you found value in thisconversation, please share it
out.
If it was somebody that poppedinto your mind, take action and
share it out with them.
It possibly may not be themthat will benefit.
(41:44):
It's that they know somebodythat will benefit from listening
to this conversation.
So please take action and shareout the podcast.
You can find us on socialmedia, on Facebook, Instagram,
and TikTok under LiftOneself.
And if you want to inquireabout the work that I do and the
(42:04):
services that I provide topeople, come over on my website.
Come into a discovery call atliftoneself.com.
Until next time, pleaseremember to be kind and gentle
with yourself if you matter.
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