Stop Bringing It Forward: Living by Your Own Rules

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87 days left in 2025. How did you invest your most valuable asset—your time?**

If you keep saying “I’ll do it next time” and never do, this episode is for you. We pull apart the unspoken rules keeping you small, be polite when disrespected, stay small so others feel safe, don’t ask for too much and replace them with clarity, boundaries, and self-trust you can feel in your body.

You’ll get a guided mindful reset to calm your inner critic, plus practical steps to stop performing and start living like your life is yours. We talk about naming rock bottom as orientation (not failure), setting boundaries without drama, and what changes when you finally ask: *“Is this even mine?”*

**In this episode:**
• Time audit as a reality check on what matters
• Exposing inherited rules and people-pleasing scripts
• Clarity over being “difficult” as a reframe
• Guided breath and inner coach activation
• Naming rock bottom as orientation, not failure
• Micro-steps to shift from performing to living
• Boundaries you can enforce with calm
• Choosing breakthroughs by asking “Is this even mine?”
• Choosing now over “next time” with simple actions

Rock bottom can look like heartbreak, burnout, grief, or quiet misalignment, it’s all valid data. When you claim where you are, your brain stops wasting energy on the facade and can finally help you navigate forward.

**If this opened something for you, join the LiftOneSelf community** for emotional sobriety tools, meditations, and conversations to get off autopilot.

**👉🏽 LiftOneSelf.com**

**What’s one rule you’re ready to rewrite?** Tag us on social @LiftOneSelf or drop a voice note—we read every single one.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
We are already in the third quarter of 2025.
Less than three months until2026.
87 days.
Let that sink in.
Yes, I know time is an illusionand it's continuous.
Yet let me ask you something.
When you reflect back on 2025,how did you invest your most

(00:23):
valuable asset, your time?
Not where did you go, not howbusy you've been, how did you
invest it?
Did you invest it in whatactually matters to you, in your
peace, your growth, your truth,your loved ones?
Or did you just survive it?
You know those meetings at workthat we all roll our eyes at,

(00:46):
the ones where everyone talksand nothing actually gets done?
At the end, someone says, let'sjust bring it forward to next
time.
We do the same thing with ourlives.
I'll set that boundary nexttime.
I'll have that conversation whenthe timing's better.
I'll start living for myselfonce things settle down.

(01:07):
How many times are you going tokeep saying you're going to do
the things that would bringforth change and then just do a
BF?
Just bring it forward again andagain and again.
Be honest with yourself.
Hey, this is Nat Nat, and you'relistening to the Lift One Self
podcast, where we create spacefor you to pause, reflect, and

(01:30):
reconnect with the truth of whoyou are.
If you're new here, welcome.
Hit that subscribe buttonbecause today we're talking
about the scripts you've beenrunning on autopilot and what
happens when you finally decideto rewrite them.

Here's the real question (01:46):
whose life are you actually living?
I'm not talking about your jobor your relationship or where
you live.
Let's get real.
We have basic needs that we haveto play around in this matrix,
and it's very frustrating.
Yet I'm talking about the rulesyou follow every single day

(02:07):
without even thinking about it.
Be polite, even when someonedisrespects you.
Stay small so others feelcomfortable.
Don't ask for too much.
Don't be too loud, too honest,too real.
You've been running a script youdidn't write, and you've gotten
so good at it, you don't evennotice it anymore.
Let's be honest.

(02:28):
You've been told your whole lifethere's a right way to do
things.
Work hard, be kind, don't makewaves.
And you did all of that.
You followed the formula, andsomehow you still feel like
you're living someone else'sversion of your life.
Because you are.
How many of you can relate?
You're doing something and yousay to yourself, Why the fuck am

(02:50):
I doing this?
Yet you continue to do it.
But what if actually youanswered that question?
What if you paused the actionand just stood in that space for
a second?
Every time you silence yourselfto keep the peace, every time
you say yes when everything inyou screams no, every time you

(03:11):
shrink yourself so someone elsecan feel big, you're directing a
life you don't even want to starin.
Here's what nobody tells you.
Living by your own rules doesn'tmean you have it all figured
out.
It just means you stop waitingfor permission to rest,
permission to change your mind,permission to want different

(03:33):
things than you wanted fiveyears ago.
Hell, maybe even from last week.
The script says, don't bedifficult, don't disappoint
people.
But living by your own rulessays, I'm not difficult, I'm
clear.
Disappointing them isn't myfocus.
Honoring myself is.
Let's pause right here and takea mindful moment.

(03:56):
Really engage with that nervoussystem that has that inner
critic and that inner coach.
Let's amplify that inner coach.
If it's safe to do so, gentlyclose your eyes or soften your
gaze.
Take a deep breath in, and whenyou exhale, let it all go.

(04:17):
Take another deep breath in andexhale and let it all go,
settling more into your body.
Now taking that deep breath in,when you exhale, you're gonna
say, I was not born to follow ascript.

(04:38):
Breathe in.
Exhale.
My truth is not up fornegotiation.
One more breath.
Place a hand on your chest.
Feel your heartbeat.
Actually, hold yourself, lettingyour body know you got you.

(05:02):
You don't need permission toexist.
Give yourself the permission tobe authentic to you.
Give yourself the permission tosupport your needs.
Take another deep breath in.

(05:23):
And when you exhale, let it allgo.
When you're ready, gently openyour eyes and stay with your
breath.
Listen, if you're at rock bottomright now, here's what I need
you to do.
Say it out loud.
I'm at rock bottom.

(05:44):
Not to perform, not to wallow,to name it.
I have been there countlesstimes and it sucks.
I know it sucks, it sucks, itsucks.
Yet when you claim it, that'swhen you stop pretending.
Your brain stops wasting energyholding up the facade.
It can finally do its job, helpyou navigate, regulate, and find

(06:08):
your way forward.
Because you don't know where togo if you don't know where you
are on the map.
And remember, rock bottom looksdifferent for everyone.
It can be a relationshipbreakup, loss of a job, mental
distress, grief, where you live.
It doesn't have to be dramaticto be real.
Rock bottom isn't failure, it'sinformation.

(06:31):
It's your system saying, wecan't keep doing this.
Something has to change.
And the moment you stop fightingthat truth, the moment you say,
I'm at rock bottom, and that'swhere I am right now, that's
when you stop sinking.
Because you can't get out of ahole.
You won't admit you're in.
So if that's you, say it, writeit, whisper it to yourself in

(06:54):
the mirror.
I'm at rock bottom and I'm gonnaget myself out.
Not because you're broken, yetbecause you're honest.
And honesty, that's where youpick up your mat and start
walking forward.
I'll be real with you.
For years I was so good atperforming, smiling when I
wanted to scream, staying when Iwanted to leave, drinking when I

(07:18):
wanted to expand.
Yet one day I asked, what if Istopped performing and just
started living?
Living like my life is mine.
That question cracked everythingopen.
So here's what I want you to askyourself.
What would you do differently ifyou stopped living by everyone

(07:39):
else's rules?
What boundary would you set?
What dream would you stopbringing forward?
What part of yourself would youfinally let out?
Because the world wants youpredictable, manageable.
Yet you weren't made to bemanaged, you were made to be
alive.
And living by your own rulesdoesn't mean you're selfish, it

(08:03):
means you're finally honest.
Here's the truth the script onlyworks if you keep performing it.
The moment you pause and say,wait, is this even mine?
That's when it cracks.
And that's not a breakdown,that's a breakthrough.
Because you're not losingyourself, you're finding
yourself underneath all theroles you've been playing.

(08:26):
We're in Q3 2025, 87 days untila new year.
You can keep bringing your lifeforward, same script, same next
time, or you can start livinglike your life is yours to
direct.
Not someday, now.
If this cracks something open toyou, come join me in the

(08:48):
emotional sobriety workshop.
We're not just talking aboutthis, we're doing the work, the
meditation, real conversationtools to help you get off
autopilot.
Link in the descriptions or goto liftoneself.com.
Not ready yet?
That's cool.
Just hit subscribe and sharethis with someone who needs it.

(09:08):
If somebody popped into yourhead, there's a reason for it.
So share it out.
Drop me a comment from thisquestion.
What's one rule you're ready torewrite?
Because when you lift yourself,you lift others.
You don't need permission tolive your own life.
You just need the courage tostart.

(09:29):
I'm NatNat, and this is the LiftOneself Podcast.
And I'll see you in the nextone.
Please remember to be kind andgentle with yourself.
You matter.
Take some action.
How do you eat an elephant?
Or one bite at a time.
Take the first bite.