October 20, 2025 • 43 mins
Mindfulness extends beyond being a buzzword into a practical, accessible tool for navigating life's challenges with greater ease and presence.
Alan Carroll, a public speaking coach with 50 years of spiritual practice, shares how creating space between thoughts transforms our relationship with emotions and enhances our ability to respond rather than react.
• Mindfulness lives in present time, while the ego lives in the past and future
• Creating space between thoughts allows us to observe rather than identify with our emotions
• The parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) counterbalances the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight)
• A simple breathing technique can interrupt anger patterns in just 10-12 seconds
• Daily practice of just five minutes with no expectations can begin transforming your relationship with thoughts
• Mindfulness doesn't negate human emotions but provides tools to experience them without drowning in them
• The "fifth element" of space is available to everyone, regardless of age or background
• Learning to "play the note of silence" alongside sound transforms communication
Find Alan Carrollat acamindfulyou.com or through his podcast, Mindful You, where he continues to share insights from his extensive experience training public speakers in over 60 countries.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
NatNat - Liftoneself (00:00):
Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast.
I'm your host, nat Nat, andtoday I have a guest that we're
going to dive into whatmindfulness is and give you a
broader perspective, becausethis is quite a buzzword now,
yet some people might be overanalyzing it or not being able
to practice it in their everydaylife, because they think that
(00:20):
it has to be something verygrand.
So, alan, would you pleaseintroduce yourself to myself and
the listeners and let us know alittle bit about yourself.
Alan Carroll (00:30):
Be happy to Nat.
Nat, a little bit of mybackground.
Started out very early being aseeker, feeling in my early
teens that there's somethingmissing, not knowing what's
missing.
But then there's somethingmissing.
Read a book by ParamahansaYogananda, autobiography of a
yogi.
(00:50):
Talks about his journey throughIndia to the United States and
the creation of theSelf-Realization Fellowship.
That got me on the path ofpsychology, got my degrees in
psychology and fell in love witha psychologist named Carl Jung,
and Carl Jung would be thespiritual kind of psychologist.
(01:13):
Freud I wouldn't call thespiritual guy, jung would be the
spiritual guy.
And then I read another book,be here Now.
Be here Now by Baba Ram Dass.
And then I got into yoga, I gotinto meditation, got into
spirituality and I ended uphaving a really cool job, which
(01:36):
I still do after 50 years, and Itrain public speakers around
the world.
Train public speakers aroundthe world and I'm able to train
them to transform their abilityto speak through the application
of all those spiritual thingsthat I learned on the journey.
So I'm now happy to talk toyour audience about mindfulness
(01:59):
from the things that I'vediscovered on my journey.
NatNat - Liftoneself (02:02):
Great, I have my curiosity peaked in with
all the things that you said,so I'm intrigued to hear a
little bit about your journeyBefore we dive in.
Would you join me in a mindfulmoment so we can ground
ourselves?
Alan Carroll (02:16):
Absolutely.
NatNat - Liftoneself (02:17):
Okay, and for the listeners, as you always
hear when I ask about the eyesbeing closed, if you're driving
or need your visual, pleasedon't Safety first, Yet the
other prompts you're able tofollow.
So I'll ask you to getcomfortable in your seating and,
if it's safe to do so, gentlyclose your eyes and you're going
to begin breathing in and outthrough your nose, bringing your
(02:41):
awareness to watching therhythm of your breath.
You're not going to try andcontrol your breath, you're just
going to be aware of its rhythm, allowing it to guide you into
your body.
There may be some sensations orfeelings coming up, and that's
okay.
Let them come up.
You're safe to feel.
(03:03):
You're safe to feel.
You're safe to let go,surrender the need to control,
release the need to resist andjust be, be with your breath,
drop deeper into your body.
Now there may be some thoughtsor to-do lists that have popped
(03:24):
up, and that's okay.
Gently bring your awarenessback to your breath, creating
space between the awareness andthe thoughts and dropping even
deeper into the body, being inthe space of presence, of being,
of presence, of being.
(03:47):
Again, more thoughts may havepopped up.
Gently, bring the awarenessback to your breath, beginning
again, creating even more spacebetween the awareness and the
thoughts and completelysurrendering into the body, into
presence, into the breath, nowcoming into your senses, into
(04:19):
this moment, at your own timeand at your own pace.
You're going to gently openyour eyes while staying with the
breath.
How is your heart doing?
Alan Carroll (04:30):
Very relaxed.
NatNat - Liftoneself (04:32):
So there's a lot of, you know, jewels and
nuggets that have guided youthrough this journey.
In your personal experience,what has been the most
challenging part of mindfulness?
Alan Carroll (04:47):
First of all, what you just did was not a
challenge, it wasn't difficult,it didn't require me to have a
PhD and yet it transformed meand transformed the audience, if
they did the exercise, into aphysical state of consciousness.
(05:08):
And the physical state ofconsciousness there's a label
for that state of consciousnessand it's called the
parasympathetic nervous system.
And as compared to thesympathetic nervous system, the
sympathetic nervous system wouldbe one in which you have stress
, tension, high blood pressure,constipated kind of flow of
(05:33):
energy.
Parasympathetic nervous systemis a rest, relaxing, digesting,
melting, dissolving intonothingness kind of place.
And the challenge that peoplehave is they get caught by their
(05:55):
ego identity.
The ego identity, nat Nat, isinterested in protecting,
surviving, defending, attackinganything that offends its
identity.
And so, as you practicemindfulness, you learn and
(06:18):
practice what you said theability to create space between
the observer and that which isbeing observed.
And space is pretty cool becausethe Greeks talked about the
reality in which we live.
(06:39):
The dream world in which welive is composed of four
elements earth, air, fire andwater.
Then Plato comes along and sayswell, you know, I think there's
another element.
He referred to it as the ether,he referred to it as space, and
so space turns out to becomprised.
(07:01):
99.9% of the universe in whichwe live is empty.
Only less than 1% and one-tenthof 1% is actually physical
things like the planets, thebody, the atoms, the asteroids,
the suns.
And yet most people, from theego point of view, spend their
whole time focusing on thepreservation of the things in
(07:23):
the space rather than thediscovery of the space itself.
So as you begin to discover thespace itself by actually
consciously creating the emptyspace, you then fall into the
gap that's between the things,the thoughts that you think, the
emotions that you feel, and, asevery time you're able to
(07:45):
create a space, for example,right now, in my speaking, what
you'll notice if you listencarefully, I'm playing two notes
when I speak, I'm playing thenote that everybody can play,
which is the note of sound.
I am making sounds.
(08:06):
You're making sounds fromCanada, I'm making sounds from
the United States.
Je vais, je peux créer un son.
Depending on the language.
Protect my weak French.
I can make French sounds.
I can make English soundsbuenos dias.
(08:28):
I can make a little Spanishsounds, but I'm still making
sounds.
So everybody knows how to speak, but very few people know how
to make the second note, thewind instrument.
I'm blowing air out of my body,making sounds, but the second
note is the note of silence.
So when you can play the noteof sound while I'm speaking to
(08:54):
you, and if I can play the noteof silence when I'm speaking to
you, I now can dance between theyang energy, which is the
forward thrusting of myconsciousness, and the yin or
feminine energy, which is theflowing into.
And so now we have the outwardflow and the inward flow, and
(09:18):
now you have the balance, youhave the dance.
But in order to do that net-net,you have to be in present time.
And in present time, all of asudden, you're there where
mindfulness lives in presenttime.
The ego does not live inpresent time.
The being lives in present time, the spirit lives in present
(09:39):
time, mindfulness lives inpresent time.
So you can actually createpresent time by pausing between
the sounds that you speak, andat first the ego is not
interested in that.
The ego is into thepreservation of its identity,
which is comprised of thethoughts that it believes itself
(10:00):
to be.
So as I begin to create emptyspaces between my thoughts, my
ego identity begins to dissolveand I begin to wake up and I
begin to be the observer ratherthan the participant of life.
And when you can observe thingsand become the watcher, that's
(10:25):
your ticket to heaven.
If you can do that, Very muchso.
NatNat - Liftoneself (10:31):
You described it very beautifully.
For people that may not evenknow what we're speaking about,
you gave a great visualizationso that they can be a little bit
more curious of opening up thatdimension within themselves,
because a lot of people aretethered on the outside of them,
they're not even aware of thisinner world that goes on with
their nervous system and theobserver, the awareness.
Alan Carroll (10:54):
Absolutely.
That's part of.
There's a term we use incorporations called emotional
intelligence.
Emotional intelligence firstdefinition is self-awareness.
When you become self-aware,what does that mean?
That means you're developingthe observer.
(11:16):
In communication we talk about,well, you have the speaker who
knows how to speak, you have thelistener, you have the part of
you that judges, the part of youthat creates, the part of you
that observes, and you want todevelop the observer.
But in order to observe, therehas to be a space between the
(11:37):
observer and that which is beingobserved In the ego, identity,
in the sympathetic nervoussystem.
There's no space.
There's an immediate reactionto what's going on.
There's no wait.
A minute, boy, I just gottriggered by something.
I'm not quite sure what it was,but something really caused a
lot of stirring up inside of me,emotions going inside of me.
(12:03):
A lot of you're wrong and I gotto fix you, and this is not
right.
This shouldn't be.
A lot of you're wrong and I gotto fix you, and this is not
right.
This shouldn't be a lot of thatkind of like.
The analogy that I use is theyou have the snow globe and the
snow globe gets all shaken upwhen you get agitated and
triggered.
But when you pause and takethat breath, all the snow begins
(12:25):
to settle and clarity isrestored and you return to the
parasympathetic nervous system.
So you want to get, you want tobe able to access that ability,
to develop that muscle ofobservation.
So you're no longer aparticipant.
You're a participant butthere's a buffer zone now that
(12:49):
gives you a chance toparticipate.
But I am in a spacious state ofconsciousness when I'm
participating and out of thatspace comes forgiveness and
compassion.
When you're not in that space,it's anger and upset and
irritation.
And you, you, son of a, we gotto fix you.
Well, that that's that's goingto cause you physical harm,
(13:12):
emotional harm and mental harm.
But it feels good to the egobut but it's not feeling good to
your spirit.
NatNat - Liftoneself (13:19):
Yeah, and as I mentioned to people you
know, unfortunately the emotionof anger has had a bad rap.
And anger is healthy.
It gives us information, itguides us of things that are
unsafe and it's protective.
It's the behavior that getshijacked of that fight or flight
and, as you just demonstrated,how we project that energy
(13:42):
outwardly and rather than beable to listen to the
information that's coming up.
So a lot of people you knowdon't know how to relate to that
emotion so that it doesn'thijack their behavior.
Do you have any guidance forthat?
Alan Carroll (13:57):
As you become more mindfulness, as you become
more present, as you have apractice.
So my coaching to your audienceis you want to have enough
discipline to have some sort ofmindfulness, daily, regular,
(14:21):
everyday kind of practice inwhich you become still, you
become a snow globe that doesn'tshake, no agitation.
Go out in nature.
Yesterday I was out by theriver in the Mystic area and
there was this granite benchoverlooking the river with the
(14:42):
ducks and the reeds, and justsitting there in that space of
stillness, becoming still, andthat will calm down the thoughts
.
It's referred to sometimes asthe monkey mind going all over
the place.
You want to calm down thethoughts so when any emotion
comes up, the emotion doesn'thijack you, the anger doesn't
(15:05):
hijack you.
The anger doesn't hijack you.
You're able to observe andwatch the emotional storm come
up and not judge it.
Accept it.
It's there and so you're not atthe effect anymore of that
emotion you now can begin tolook at.
Well, if I was in my higherstate of consciousness and
(15:29):
watching the event that'shappening in front of me, how
would I respond to that event?
But I have to go from the lowerstate of consciousness, which
is the ego, which wants to reactto the event based on my
conditioning, and I know what'sright.
You got to put that aside.
That lives in the past.
You got to be present in themoment.
(15:50):
And then you ask yourself well,what would the higher self do
right now?
What would my spiritual self doright now?
What would the Holy Spirit?
How would the Holy Spirit judgethis right now?
Well, if I was the Holy Spiritand if I was the higher self,
and if I was this being ofmindfulness, how would I respond
to it?
Well, I'd be a lot more loving,a lot more kind, definitely a
(16:13):
lot more forgiving.
A lot more compassion wouldflow from me.
And all of a sudden, you'dnotice that, oh, I'm back into
that parasympathetic nervoussystem state.
I'm now relaxed and calm, I'mhealthier, I'm emotionally more
balanced, I have a higher levelof emotional intelligence
because I'm able to develop thatthrough practice, that space,
(16:37):
the gap, developing the gap.
And every time that I pause asI talk to you right now, a wave
of relaxation flows through mybody.
But when you're in the, in themoment of anger and upset,
there's no wave of relaxationflowing through your body, net
(16:58):
net.
There's a wave of anger flowingout to, to defend what you just
did and that that is nothealthy mentally, spiritually or
emotionally.
NatNat - Liftoneself (17:09):
Yeah, and I'm, you know, as a person that
has experienced significanttrauma, and when my nervous
system gets activated with thatand feeling the angercerally,
you can go into your mindset andsay what would I do higher.
Yet I think there's a part thatneeds to be brought in is the
(17:32):
integration of the body, becausethose visceral effects in the
body of the tightening of thechest, the shallow breathing, I
think there's a part where weforget to validate the body,
because the body is keeping thememory, the nervous system is
keeping the memory, and if wecan integrate and process that
(17:53):
memory, then the activation ofthe nervous system doesn't feel
that it needs to defend andprotect us from feeling our
emotions.
Because when anger is coming up, most times people are not
feeling it.
They're trying to offload itand get rid of it.
Yet and they cut off the stream, but that intense energy they
don't know how to sit with it,they don't know how to be with
(18:15):
it.
So what you gave as an example,if people are doing a practice,
sure, but if they're at thebeginning of this, it's like
that's easier said than done.
Like my body does all thiscoping mechanisms and strategies
that I wasn't even aware that Ido Like.
I may mentally know that Ishouldn't be yelling, I
shouldn't be silent with people.
(18:36):
That's not how I want to.
Yet this body just takes overat times.
Is there something that youwould offer, especially for men,
because men are conditioned alot that sensitivity is a
weakness or it impacts theirsexuality and in society, what
would you offer to men whenanger does come up and how they
(19:00):
can engage and integrate that?
Alan Carroll (19:05):
In your background you have the word
breathe, and the issue is theanger is preceded by thought.
The thought is aninterpretation.
You're watching the movie oflife.
Something is happening in themovie.
Hey, I don't like that, thatshouldn't.
(19:26):
There's an interpretation of thescene of the movie, and once I
have an interpretation thatjustifies anger, anger will
follow the interpretation.
So anger is second.
The first thing is the gettingcontrol of the thoughts that you
think, which paints the picturewhich you get upset by, which
then directs the anger to.
So you have to be able tomanage your thoughts, be aware
(19:50):
of your thoughts.
And before you're aware of yourthoughts, you have to realize
you're a victim of your thoughts.
And so, now that I'm a victimof my thoughts, how can I begin
to erase the thought?
Well, the easiest way, thesimplest way, is to be able to
practice what you did in thebeginning a breathing exercise,
(20:10):
because you can.
You cannot do what you, whatyou had us do, which is close
our eyes, and what I'd recommendis it's a breathing exercise.
It's similar to what you did.
You close your eyes.
First of all, close your eyesBecause a lot of the
interpretation you have aboutwhat's going on in the movie is
(20:32):
because you're looking at themovie.
If I can stop looking at thething which is causing me to be
upset, immediately you'll noticethat the upset begins to lessen
.
But as long as you continue tolook at it, oh, it burns me.
But you can't take your eyesoff of the thing that is
bothering.
You Close your eyes.
Good, got your eyes closed.
(20:53):
Now take that deep breath again.
Breathe into the nose, do thebelly breath, push your belly
out.
I would recommend doing it for athree cycle.
The first cycle is you closeyour eyes.
You breathe in for a count offour.
You fill your breath as much asyou can fill your body up.
Now, just on a little bit ofthe aside there, normal tidal
(21:16):
breathing is about 500milliliters in, 500 milliliters
out.
It's normal breathing.
You have the capacity to take600% more oxygen.
When you say, hey, I'd like totake a deeper breath Because now
you can add another 3,000milliliters of air to your lungs
, it will take it.
And so now I'm breathing in fora count of four, holding the
(21:41):
fullness for a count of two,breathing out for a count of
five, four, three, two, one.
Hold the emptiness for a countof two.
Do that three times.
I use the idea of you know, it'slike smelling flowers blow the
candles out, do that three timesand what happens?
(22:06):
You'll notice that the thoughtsthat you were thinking fade
away, so the thoughts that werefiring up the anger begin to
dissipate.
Because, as Eckhart Tolletalked about it, if you put
attention on your thoughts, it'slike giving your thoughts life
support.
If you take your attention offof your thoughts, then you're no
(22:27):
longer giving the thoughts lifesupport and those thoughts
which were causing the angerwill begin to fade away and all
of a sudden, relaxation willreturn to your body.
So that is possible to disruptthe source of the anger which
affects the body by bycontrolling the breath, and
(22:48):
everybody can breathe.
It's just that you have to beself-aware in the moment that
you're angry to catch yourself.
Wow, I just got triggered.
What, what, what did Alan andthat say oh, take that deep
breath, take those three deepbreaths, okay, good, good.
Close my eyes and then noticewhat happens to your physical
(23:09):
body, notice that the tensionbegins to melt the relaxation
into it, and so you're no longeras upset.
And all of a sudden, the boatis no longer longer capsized,
the boat is now right side upagain and now you have that,
that, that self-awareness now.
(23:29):
So you disrupted theconditioning pattern of your
thinking and just and it takesabout what?
10 seconds, 12 seconds to do it, and that that is a very easy
technique that I'd recommendeverybody to do.
NatNat - Liftoneself (23:43):
Thank you for that demonstration and it
being relatable so that peoplecan actually.
You know, this is the thingabout mindfulness it's free,
it's simple.
Yet our minds have beenconditioned to complicate
everything and to be fast paced.
(24:04):
Mindfulness asks us to slowdown, to be in that flow state,
not this hurry, momentum andimpulsivity and run.
Everything's on fire.
It's okay, slow down into thisso that you can interrupt these
patterns and the way that youexplained it.
Some people might be like yeah,that's great, but I'm not doing
that in a meeting or I'm notdoing that with my friends.
I'm going to look reallyridiculous and the suggestion I
(24:27):
always give is like well, youknow, you don't learn your fire
roots and escape when the houseis on fire.
You learn it when everything isrelaxed so that when the house
is on fire it's not exaggerated,you can do it internally
without other people noticingWhile you were giving the
description of the belly breathand the exercise I was following
(24:50):
through.
Yet many people wouldn't knowthat unless they're looking at
my belly and seeing thedemonstration.
So what would you offer to thelisteners to start engaging in
this practice?
What would that look like on adaily basis?
Alan Carroll (25:05):
A daily practice would start with getting a place
in which you, as Sadhguru talksabout it is, you're a little
bit hungry, you're a little bittired, you are dead to the world
, there's no distractions, asquiet a space as you possibly
can get, so there's no noise anddo the best you can with that
(25:27):
one and also another key aspectto the practice is have no
expectations.
Start the practice with noexpectations, like I'm going to
reach enlightenment, I'm goingto be able to control my breath,
I'm going to be able to controlmy breath, I'm going to be able
to relax my mind.
I'm going to be able to noexpectations, because if you
(25:49):
have an expectation, then, oh, Ididn't get what I wanted to get
.
I'm not doing it right.
These thoughts are bothering me.
No, I have no expectations.
So that anything that happensfalls within a context of hey.
So that anything that happensfalls within a context of hey,
that's cool Because I had noexpectations.
That's really important to getthat thought across, because a
lot of people, when theymeditate, they complain that I'm
(26:10):
not achieving all those thingsthat Nat and Alan are talking
about.
No, you have no expectations.
And that allows you to maintaina calmness rather than getting
upset because it's not happeningthe way I want it to happen.
Just five minutes a day.
Just see if you can do fiveminutes a day of quiet stillness
.
Breathing would be great.
Breathing is fine.
(26:32):
That would be a great way tostart and you know, if you could
do that, that would be anindicator.
Oh well, then I can go to 10minutes.
I've been practicing off and onfor 50 years.
Finally, I went to a trainingwith Sadhguru, what's it called?
(26:52):
He offers a basic training.
It's a 20-minute.
NatNat - Liftoneself (26:56):
Oh, Inner Engineering.
Alan Carroll (26:58):
Inner Engineering .
You can do it online and it'sreally cool.
It's a 20-minute practice thatcombines the breathing a little
bit of light yoga.
You do it sitting down,alternative nostril breathing a
lot of things that.
I've been involved in.
That for every day for 10 years, for an hour and now it's like
(27:21):
brushing my teeth and whathappens is that you increase the
amount of empty space becauseyou're creating empty space.
So every time I pause, I createan empty space.
So my empty space statistic, myspace statistic, goes up and up
and up and up and up.
(27:42):
And after 10 years you've beenpracticing empty space for a
long time you actually,organically, have developed and
blossomed into a being that hasa lot of empty space.
Now the benefit of empty spaceis I use the analogy of the
wintertime you have a storm dooron the outside of your house
(28:04):
that blocks the flow of the windand the cold and the snow.
In the summertime, you have thescreen door that allows the
flow of energy.
Well, what's the differencebetween the two?
Well, the storm door has noholes.
So everybody, the ego, is likea storm door that blocks the
flow of energy, that resists theflow of energy, and you want to
convert it into a screen door.
(28:25):
Well, how do you do that?
You begin to poke holes at thestorm door.
So you poke holes in thepattern of your psychological
fabric, of your consciousness,of your ego.
How do you do that?
Pause between the sounds thatyou speak, take a conscious
(28:47):
breath.
They put holes and pretty soonyou're, you are a space now that
is speaking and that you.
You no longer get offended, youno longer get as upset.
If you do get upset, you canget back right very, very
quickly.
You're no longer take thingspersonally.
You know you, it comes out ofsomeone else's conditioned
(29:09):
reality.
So you're able to stay balancedin in life rather than storms
and suffering and capsized andanger and upset and irritation
and annoying all that begins toget.
It's not that it's not there,it's just that the waves aren't
(29:30):
as big in the ocean anymore.
All of a sudden you've stillgot waves, but you're able to
navigate and keep things moving.
So you're no longer spending alot of time complaining and
having grievances about life.
You're much more appreciativeof life and joy and more love,
(29:55):
more compassion and moreforgiveness.
NatNat - Liftoneself (29:58):
Yeah, I wanted to highlight that because
sometimes, no-transcript yournervous system is trying to
(30:30):
communicate with another nervoussystem and it's no longer there
.
We understand, I understandthat energy doesn't die, so our
life force is still there, inyou know the frequency but that
body.
So, while we can use thesetools, we don't have to drown
into the water.
We might intake a bit of waterand feel a little rough, yet by
(30:53):
using this mindfulness, you'reable to ride with life,
especially when these bigruptures happen.
Because you know, I feel thatsometimes people listen to this
and, like you said at thebeginning, they have this
expectation and they don't feellike they're doing it properly
and it's like nowhere is it tonegate the human experience.
Emotions are going to rise.
(31:14):
You know grief requires itsspace.
You know disappointment needsits space, like these are human
experiences, yet it's that youdon't have to fully identify and
drown into them, which many ofus do, because we think we are
that thing.
So I just want to make surethat that's clear for the
listener, that it's not thatyou're not doing it right, it's
(31:38):
not that this is going to bethis magic pill, that you're
going to arrive somewhere andlife is always going to feel
joyful and blissful because lifeis going to happen, and so
that's the reason why you usemindfulness so that you can stay
present as best as you can andnot stuck in the past and future
and trying to control thingsthat you can.
(31:58):
Allow curiosity to be out, notcertainty.
Alan Carroll (32:04):
Absolutely the part of certainty is the desire
for certainty is sort of theopposite of what mindfulness is.
Mindfulness is the erasing ofthe whiteboard.
It's not putting things on thewhiteboard, it's getting to that
space of nothingness, a spaceof non-judgment.
Another one that is sort of atricky one is that the ego is in
(32:29):
the judgment business and thejudgment and comparison business
, and it uses the past in orderto judge the present.
But as the past is comprised ofyour thoughts, as you begin to
erase your thoughts and begin topractice stillness and creating
(32:50):
gaps between the thoughts thatyou speak, see, the goal in
meditation is you want to beable to create gaps of spaces
between the thoughts that youthink.
Well, that's a little morechallenging.
But everybody here who'slistening to this podcast, who
speaks and I think probablyeverybody speaks you're you want
(33:12):
to notice that there's an emptyspace between the words that I
speak.
And if I can consciously createthe empty space, then then you
have what's called fluidity.
Fluidity is a flow of energy,but if there's no space between
(33:36):
the thoughts that you think,which is the ego, consciousness
constipated, then there is nofluidity, there is heat, there's
resistance.
So, just from a physicalphysics point of view.
By creating empty spacesbetween the thoughts that you
speak.
You become more fluid andfluidity allows you to you.
(33:59):
Use the word you.
You're able to navigate betterthrough through the water.
There's a flow.
Use the word you.
You're able to navigate betterthrough through the water.
There's a flow in the water you.
You no longer are resistinglife.
Stuff still happens, but you'remore surfing the waves.
You're not in the way, you'reon top, surfing like space
surfing, I call it.
You're surfing the space, andmost people are start, are
(34:20):
trying to swim in the water.
Well, get on the board of spaceand become a space surfer and
you'll notice that, hey, life isa lot more fun.
It is and really, it's all one,it's all divine.
All those things you think arehorrible, they're not horrible
at all, they're divine.
(34:41):
You just aren't able to forgiveit.
The problem of it is is thatthe ego is not in the
forgiveness business and thatthat leads to a lot of suffering
.
The being, the spirituality,the Holy Spirit operates from
forgiveness and and and part ofthe forgiveness you discover is
the forgiveness of the quote sinthat you've done yourself
(35:03):
inside.
Oh, I've done that.
No, no, god did not create sin.
God created a being of lightand love and cheerfulness, the
ego boy that created sin andshame and guilt.
But I like when the Bible talksabout in the Apostles' Creed, is
what do those apostles say youwant to believe in?
Well, I believe in theforgiveness of sin.
(35:25):
Well, yeah, that's in the Bible, but no, no, that's right here
in Ottawa, canada andConnecticut the forgiveness of
sin.
And so now forgiveness is aloving quality.
And all of a sudden the sininside of me is no longer
projected onto you and all thosebad things you've done, because
(35:45):
you and I are the same, andit's like wait a minute and all
of a sudden you realize it'sjust one one, one dream.
We're all in right now and andthe way to navigate it is with
love, and joy and compassionyeah, as Ram Dass says, we're
all walking each other home andwe can tend to forget that.
NatNat - Liftoneself (36:05):
I want to bring you into a reflective
question.
I want to ask you what wouldyour past self say to you
presently?
Alan Carroll (36:22):
practice forgiveness earlier and start
your meditation practice earlier, and I was lucky in that
because I started to practicepretty early.
I didn't wait till later on.
I was caught by the bug in myearly teens and so I was able to
.
Well, I was also blessed.
(36:43):
I had a psychic reading when Iwas 21 years old by a very high
level psychic and they closed myeyes.
I was thrown back in my chairwith energy and he told me
exactly what my job was on theplanet.
Because I asked him what's mypurpose on the planet?
(37:03):
And so at 21 years old, I knewmy purpose.
So everything was easy to makea choice.
So I, I was blessed, so I Ican't, I can't complain, I can't
argue, I can't really answerthe question, because I've I've
had a blessed life and I'm veryappreciative of this and I'd
like to be able to do more.
That's one reason why I do thepodcast, because all the things
(37:24):
that I've learned, the thingsthey were talking about, might
save people time on their ownjourney, that they can get there
quicker, because Alan and NatNat have spent a lot of time
doing push-ups in the gym, inthe gymnasium of space.
NatNat - Liftoneself (37:38):
Yeah, what would your future self want to
offer to you?
Alan Carroll (37:44):
Joy and love and compassion.
Have fun, do more push-ups,enjoy the journey.
NatNat - Liftoneself (37:54):
Nice, nice .
Now can you let the listenersknow where they can find you?
Because, as you said at thebeginning, you offer a service
of helping people bring thismindfulness into their public
speaking and be in their bodyand be in who they are and emit
that energy out.
So could you let the listenersknow where they can find you,
(38:15):
Alan?
Alan Carroll (38:17):
We have a website , acamindfulyoucom
acamindfulyoucom.
I wrote a book called theBroadband Connection the Art of
Delivering a Winning ITPresentation.
Most of our business that we'vedone in the last 50 years are
(38:37):
for corporations around theworld.
We've been to over 60 countriesand large corporations.
We really don't do privatecourses anymore, we do
individual coaching.
So if they wanted individualcoaching, we can do individual
coaching online virtually.
We can also do live trainings,but the idea of the website
(39:00):
would be a good way, a goodportal, to get into our world.
I'm also the host of theMindful you podcast.
Mindful is M-I-N-D, mindful youY-O-U dot com.
No, my Mindful you podcast.
So that's available to hear ustalk more like we have
conversations right now.
(39:20):
That's another way of listeningto the words that we speak.
NatNat - Liftoneself (39:25):
I want to ask you to reflect and be
internal, and is there anintention that you want to offer
the listeners that wouldempower them?
Alan Carroll (39:41):
The fifth element of space is available to
children, is available toteenagers, is available to
adults, is available to oldpeople like me.
It's available to everybody,it's free, it doesn't cost any
money.
All you have to do is stop,smell the flowers, blow out the
(40:03):
candles and you return to thatstate of mindfulness, that state
of creating a space.
And I want to point out again Isaid it, but I want to point
out again everybody knows how tospeak, but everybody only plays
one note the note of sound.
(40:25):
When you begin to do research onpracticing by yourself in front
of the mirror, creating a soundin the mirror and then creating
silence in the mirror, creatingsound in the mirror, creating
silence, and so you begin toperform your thoughts rather
than just talk, and everybodycan do that, it's free, it's
(40:47):
simple, and that's anothermindfulness activity that you
can do that will return you to asense of presence and stillness
.
And, boy, when you become stillin the world of agitation in
which we live in, it gives youan advantage in terms of how to
manage things and make decisions, because you're still where
(41:11):
everyone else is going bonkerswith.
I mean, canada is the 51ststate of the United States.
It's just a lot of things thatcan easily upset you.
It won't upset you as much, anddecisions are not going to be
made out of anger.
They're going to be made of yougot to be kidding, kind of
thing.
NatNat - Liftoneself (41:30):
Yeah, yeah .
Well, I really appreciated thisconversation.
I appreciate the way that youexplain this in very simple
terms so that it doesn't feel soacademic or too nuanced, that
it can be attainable.
And if people are open andcurious, they can enrich their
(41:51):
life in so many ways.
And I thank you for being thatlight in the world, that you are
bringing this mindfulness intocorporations and into people so
that we can connect and createthat village, not be all
independent that we can beinterconnected and not be that
king of the hill, that we allhave abundance to share amongst
(42:14):
each other, so that we can be inthat flow state and not in
those power dynamics.
So thank you so much for whatyou bring forth in the world,
alan.
Alan Carroll (42:25):
Well, nat, thank you for the opportunity to let
me sing my song for 45 minutes.
I enjoy singing the mindfulnesssong, so thank you for the
opportunity to be on your show.
NatNat - Liftoneself (42:37):
Please remember to be kind to yourself.
Alan Carroll (42:40):
Absolutely.
NatNat - Liftoneself (42:41):
Hey, you made it all the way here.
I appreciate you and your time.
If you found value in thisconversation, please share it
out.
If there was somebody thatpopped into your mind, take
action and share it out withthem.
It possibly may not be themthat will benefit.
It's that they know somebodythat will benefit from listening
(43:02):
to this conversation.
So please take action and shareout the podcast.
You can find us on social mediaon Facebook, instagram and
TikTok under Lift One Self, andif you want to inquire about the
work that I do and the servicesthat I provide to people, come
over on my website, come into adiscovery call liftoneselfcom.
(43:27):
Until next time, pleaseremember to be kind and gentle
with yourself.
You matter.
Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast.
I'm your host, nat Nat, andtoday I have a guest that we're
going to dive into whatmindfulness is and give you a
broader perspective, becausethis is quite a buzzword now,
yet some people might be overanalyzing it or not being able
to practice it in their everydaylife, because they think that
(00:20):
it has to be something verygrand.
So, alan, would you pleaseintroduce yourself to myself and
the listeners and let us know alittle bit about yourself.
Alan Carroll (00:30):
Be happy to Nat.
Nat, a little bit of mybackground.
Started out very early being aseeker, feeling in my early
teens that there's somethingmissing, not knowing what's
missing.
But then there's somethingmissing.
Read a book by ParamahansaYogananda, autobiography of a
yogi.
(00:50):
Talks about his journey throughIndia to the United States and
the creation of theSelf-Realization Fellowship.
That got me on the path ofpsychology, got my degrees in
psychology and fell in love witha psychologist named Carl Jung,
and Carl Jung would be thespiritual kind of psychologist.
(01:13):
Freud I wouldn't call thespiritual guy, jung would be the
spiritual guy.
And then I read another book,be here Now.
Be here Now by Baba Ram Dass.
And then I got into yoga, I gotinto meditation, got into
spirituality and I ended uphaving a really cool job, which
(01:36):
I still do after 50 years, and Itrain public speakers around
the world.
Train public speakers aroundthe world and I'm able to train
them to transform their abilityto speak through the application
of all those spiritual thingsthat I learned on the journey.
So I'm now happy to talk toyour audience about mindfulness
(01:59):
from the things that I'vediscovered on my journey.
NatNat - Liftoneself (02:02):
Great, I have my curiosity peaked in with
all the things that you said,so I'm intrigued to hear a
little bit about your journeyBefore we dive in.
Would you join me in a mindfulmoment so we can ground
ourselves?
Alan Carroll (02:16):
Absolutely.
NatNat - Liftoneself (02:17):
Okay, and for the listeners, as you always
hear when I ask about the eyesbeing closed, if you're driving
or need your visual, pleasedon't Safety first, Yet the
other prompts you're able tofollow.
So I'll ask you to getcomfortable in your seating and,
if it's safe to do so, gentlyclose your eyes and you're going
to begin breathing in and outthrough your nose, bringing your
(02:41):
awareness to watching therhythm of your breath.
You're not going to try andcontrol your breath, you're just
going to be aware of its rhythm, allowing it to guide you into
your body.
There may be some sensations orfeelings coming up, and that's
okay.
Let them come up.
You're safe to feel.
(03:03):
You're safe to feel.
You're safe to let go,surrender the need to control,
release the need to resist andjust be, be with your breath,
drop deeper into your body.
Now there may be some thoughtsor to-do lists that have popped
(03:24):
up, and that's okay.
Gently bring your awarenessback to your breath, creating
space between the awareness andthe thoughts and dropping even
deeper into the body, being inthe space of presence, of being,
of presence, of being.
(03:47):
Again, more thoughts may havepopped up.
Gently, bring the awarenessback to your breath, beginning
again, creating even more spacebetween the awareness and the
thoughts and completelysurrendering into the body, into
presence, into the breath, nowcoming into your senses, into
(04:19):
this moment, at your own timeand at your own pace.
You're going to gently openyour eyes while staying with the
breath.
How is your heart doing?
Alan Carroll (04:30):
Very relaxed.
NatNat - Liftoneself (04:32):
So there's a lot of, you know, jewels and
nuggets that have guided youthrough this journey.
In your personal experience,what has been the most
challenging part of mindfulness?
Alan Carroll (04:47):
First of all, what you just did was not a
challenge, it wasn't difficult,it didn't require me to have a
PhD and yet it transformed meand transformed the audience, if
they did the exercise, into aphysical state of consciousness.
(05:08):
And the physical state ofconsciousness there's a label
for that state of consciousnessand it's called the
parasympathetic nervous system.
And as compared to thesympathetic nervous system, the
sympathetic nervous system wouldbe one in which you have stress
, tension, high blood pressure,constipated kind of flow of
(05:33):
energy.
Parasympathetic nervous systemis a rest, relaxing, digesting,
melting, dissolving intonothingness kind of place.
And the challenge that peoplehave is they get caught by their
(05:55):
ego identity.
The ego identity, nat Nat, isinterested in protecting,
surviving, defending, attackinganything that offends its
identity.
And so, as you practicemindfulness, you learn and
(06:18):
practice what you said theability to create space between
the observer and that which isbeing observed.
And space is pretty cool becausethe Greeks talked about the
reality in which we live.
(06:39):
The dream world in which welive is composed of four
elements earth, air, fire andwater.
Then Plato comes along and sayswell, you know, I think there's
another element.
He referred to it as the ether,he referred to it as space, and
so space turns out to becomprised.
(07:01):
99.9% of the universe in whichwe live is empty.
Only less than 1% and one-tenthof 1% is actually physical
things like the planets, thebody, the atoms, the asteroids,
the suns.
And yet most people, from theego point of view, spend their
whole time focusing on thepreservation of the things in
(07:23):
the space rather than thediscovery of the space itself.
So as you begin to discover thespace itself by actually
consciously creating the emptyspace, you then fall into the
gap that's between the things,the thoughts that you think, the
emotions that you feel, and, asevery time you're able to
(07:45):
create a space, for example,right now, in my speaking, what
you'll notice if you listencarefully, I'm playing two notes
when I speak, I'm playing thenote that everybody can play,
which is the note of sound.
I am making sounds.
(08:06):
You're making sounds fromCanada, I'm making sounds from
the United States.
Je vais, je peux créer un son.
Depending on the language.
Protect my weak French.
I can make French sounds.
I can make English soundsbuenos dias.
(08:28):
I can make a little Spanishsounds, but I'm still making
sounds.
So everybody knows how to speak, but very few people know how
to make the second note, thewind instrument.
I'm blowing air out of my body,making sounds, but the second
note is the note of silence.
So when you can play the noteof sound while I'm speaking to
(08:54):
you, and if I can play the noteof silence when I'm speaking to
you, I now can dance between theyang energy, which is the
forward thrusting of myconsciousness, and the yin or
feminine energy, which is theflowing into.
And so now we have the outwardflow and the inward flow, and
(09:18):
now you have the balance, youhave the dance.
But in order to do that net-net,you have to be in present time.
And in present time, all of asudden, you're there where
mindfulness lives in presenttime.
The ego does not live inpresent time.
The being lives in present time, the spirit lives in present
(09:39):
time, mindfulness lives inpresent time.
So you can actually createpresent time by pausing between
the sounds that you speak, andat first the ego is not
interested in that.
The ego is into thepreservation of its identity,
which is comprised of thethoughts that it believes itself
(10:00):
to be.
So as I begin to create emptyspaces between my thoughts, my
ego identity begins to dissolveand I begin to wake up and I
begin to be the observer ratherthan the participant of life.
And when you can observe thingsand become the watcher, that's
(10:25):
your ticket to heaven.
If you can do that, Very muchso.
NatNat - Liftoneself (10:31):
You described it very beautifully.
For people that may not evenknow what we're speaking about,
you gave a great visualizationso that they can be a little bit
more curious of opening up thatdimension within themselves,
because a lot of people aretethered on the outside of them,
they're not even aware of thisinner world that goes on with
their nervous system and theobserver, the awareness.
Alan Carroll (10:54):
Absolutely.
That's part of.
There's a term we use incorporations called emotional
intelligence.
Emotional intelligence firstdefinition is self-awareness.
When you become self-aware,what does that mean?
That means you're developingthe observer.
(11:16):
In communication we talk about,well, you have the speaker who
knows how to speak, you have thelistener, you have the part of
you that judges, the part of youthat creates, the part of you
that observes, and you want todevelop the observer.
But in order to observe, therehas to be a space between the
(11:37):
observer and that which is beingobserved In the ego, identity,
in the sympathetic nervoussystem.
There's no space.
There's an immediate reactionto what's going on.
There's no wait.
A minute, boy, I just gottriggered by something.
I'm not quite sure what it was,but something really caused a
lot of stirring up inside of me,emotions going inside of me.
(12:03):
A lot of you're wrong and I gotto fix you, and this is not
right.
This shouldn't be.
A lot of you're wrong and I gotto fix you, and this is not
right.
This shouldn't be a lot of thatkind of like.
The analogy that I use is theyou have the snow globe and the
snow globe gets all shaken upwhen you get agitated and
triggered.
But when you pause and takethat breath, all the snow begins
(12:25):
to settle and clarity isrestored and you return to the
parasympathetic nervous system.
So you want to get, you want tobe able to access that ability,
to develop that muscle ofobservation.
So you're no longer aparticipant.
You're a participant butthere's a buffer zone now that
(12:49):
gives you a chance toparticipate.
But I am in a spacious state ofconsciousness when I'm
participating and out of thatspace comes forgiveness and
compassion.
When you're not in that space,it's anger and upset and
irritation.
And you, you, son of a, we gotto fix you.
Well, that that's that's goingto cause you physical harm,
(13:12):
emotional harm and mental harm.
But it feels good to the egobut but it's not feeling good to
your spirit.
NatNat - Liftoneself (13:19):
Yeah, and as I mentioned to people you
know, unfortunately the emotionof anger has had a bad rap.
And anger is healthy.
It gives us information, itguides us of things that are
unsafe and it's protective.
It's the behavior that getshijacked of that fight or flight
and, as you just demonstrated,how we project that energy
(13:42):
outwardly and rather than beable to listen to the
information that's coming up.
So a lot of people you knowdon't know how to relate to that
emotion so that it doesn'thijack their behavior.
Do you have any guidance forthat?
Alan Carroll (13:57):
As you become more mindfulness, as you become
more present, as you have apractice.
So my coaching to your audienceis you want to have enough
discipline to have some sort ofmindfulness, daily, regular,
(14:21):
everyday kind of practice inwhich you become still, you
become a snow globe that doesn'tshake, no agitation.
Go out in nature.
Yesterday I was out by theriver in the Mystic area and
there was this granite benchoverlooking the river with the
(14:42):
ducks and the reeds, and justsitting there in that space of
stillness, becoming still, andthat will calm down the thoughts
.
It's referred to sometimes asthe monkey mind going all over
the place.
You want to calm down thethoughts so when any emotion
comes up, the emotion doesn'thijack you, the anger doesn't
(15:05):
hijack you.
The anger doesn't hijack you.
You're able to observe andwatch the emotional storm come
up and not judge it.
Accept it.
It's there and so you're not atthe effect anymore of that
emotion you now can begin tolook at.
Well, if I was in my higherstate of consciousness and
(15:29):
watching the event that'shappening in front of me, how
would I respond to that event?
But I have to go from the lowerstate of consciousness, which
is the ego, which wants to reactto the event based on my
conditioning, and I know what'sright.
You got to put that aside.
That lives in the past.
You got to be present in themoment.
(15:50):
And then you ask yourself well,what would the higher self do
right now?
What would my spiritual self doright now?
What would the Holy Spirit?
How would the Holy Spirit judgethis right now?
Well, if I was the Holy Spiritand if I was the higher self,
and if I was this being ofmindfulness, how would I respond
to it?
Well, I'd be a lot more loving,a lot more kind, definitely a
(16:13):
lot more forgiving.
A lot more compassion wouldflow from me.
And all of a sudden, you'dnotice that, oh, I'm back into
that parasympathetic nervoussystem state.
I'm now relaxed and calm, I'mhealthier, I'm emotionally more
balanced, I have a higher levelof emotional intelligence
because I'm able to develop thatthrough practice, that space,
(16:37):
the gap, developing the gap.
And every time that I pause asI talk to you right now, a wave
of relaxation flows through mybody.
But when you're in the, in themoment of anger and upset,
there's no wave of relaxationflowing through your body, net
(16:58):
net.
There's a wave of anger flowingout to, to defend what you just
did and that that is nothealthy mentally, spiritually or
emotionally.
NatNat - Liftoneself (17:09):
Yeah, and I'm, you know, as a person that
has experienced significanttrauma, and when my nervous
system gets activated with thatand feeling the angercerally,
you can go into your mindset andsay what would I do higher.
Yet I think there's a part thatneeds to be brought in is the
(17:32):
integration of the body, becausethose visceral effects in the
body of the tightening of thechest, the shallow breathing, I
think there's a part where weforget to validate the body,
because the body is keeping thememory, the nervous system is
keeping the memory, and if wecan integrate and process that
(17:53):
memory, then the activation ofthe nervous system doesn't feel
that it needs to defend andprotect us from feeling our
emotions.
Because when anger is coming up, most times people are not
feeling it.
They're trying to offload itand get rid of it.
Yet and they cut off the stream, but that intense energy they
don't know how to sit with it,they don't know how to be with
(18:15):
it.
So what you gave as an example,if people are doing a practice,
sure, but if they're at thebeginning of this, it's like
that's easier said than done.
Like my body does all thiscoping mechanisms and strategies
that I wasn't even aware that Ido Like.
I may mentally know that Ishouldn't be yelling, I
shouldn't be silent with people.
(18:36):
That's not how I want to.
Yet this body just takes overat times.
Is there something that youwould offer, especially for men,
because men are conditioned alot that sensitivity is a
weakness or it impacts theirsexuality and in society, what
would you offer to men whenanger does come up and how they
(19:00):
can engage and integrate that?
Alan Carroll (19:05):
In your background you have the word
breathe, and the issue is theanger is preceded by thought.
The thought is aninterpretation.
You're watching the movie oflife.
Something is happening in themovie.
Hey, I don't like that, thatshouldn't.
(19:26):
There's an interpretation of thescene of the movie, and once I
have an interpretation thatjustifies anger, anger will
follow the interpretation.
So anger is second.
The first thing is the gettingcontrol of the thoughts that you
think, which paints the picturewhich you get upset by, which
then directs the anger to.
So you have to be able tomanage your thoughts, be aware
(19:50):
of your thoughts.
And before you're aware of yourthoughts, you have to realize
you're a victim of your thoughts.
And so, now that I'm a victimof my thoughts, how can I begin
to erase the thought?
Well, the easiest way, thesimplest way, is to be able to
practice what you did in thebeginning a breathing exercise,
(20:10):
because you can.
You cannot do what you, whatyou had us do, which is close
our eyes, and what I'd recommendis it's a breathing exercise.
It's similar to what you did.
You close your eyes.
First of all, close your eyesBecause a lot of the
interpretation you have aboutwhat's going on in the movie is
(20:32):
because you're looking at themovie.
If I can stop looking at thething which is causing me to be
upset, immediately you'll noticethat the upset begins to lessen
.
But as long as you continue tolook at it, oh, it burns me.
But you can't take your eyesoff of the thing that is
bothering.
You Close your eyes.
Good, got your eyes closed.
(20:53):
Now take that deep breath again.
Breathe into the nose, do thebelly breath, push your belly
out.
I would recommend doing it for athree cycle.
The first cycle is you closeyour eyes.
You breathe in for a count offour.
You fill your breath as much asyou can fill your body up.
Now, just on a little bit ofthe aside there, normal tidal
(21:16):
breathing is about 500milliliters in, 500 milliliters
out.
It's normal breathing.
You have the capacity to take600% more oxygen.
When you say, hey, I'd like totake a deeper breath Because now
you can add another 3,000milliliters of air to your lungs
, it will take it.
And so now I'm breathing in fora count of four, holding the
(21:41):
fullness for a count of two,breathing out for a count of
five, four, three, two, one.
Hold the emptiness for a countof two.
Do that three times.
I use the idea of you know, it'slike smelling flowers blow the
candles out, do that three timesand what happens?
(22:06):
You'll notice that the thoughtsthat you were thinking fade
away, so the thoughts that werefiring up the anger begin to
dissipate.
Because, as Eckhart Tolletalked about it, if you put
attention on your thoughts, it'slike giving your thoughts life
support.
If you take your attention offof your thoughts, then you're no
(22:27):
longer giving the thoughts lifesupport and those thoughts
which were causing the angerwill begin to fade away and all
of a sudden, relaxation willreturn to your body.
So that is possible to disruptthe source of the anger which
affects the body by bycontrolling the breath, and
(22:48):
everybody can breathe.
It's just that you have to beself-aware in the moment that
you're angry to catch yourself.
Wow, I just got triggered.
What, what, what did Alan andthat say oh, take that deep
breath, take those three deepbreaths, okay, good, good.
Close my eyes and then noticewhat happens to your physical
(23:09):
body, notice that the tensionbegins to melt the relaxation
into it, and so you're no longeras upset.
And all of a sudden, the boatis no longer longer capsized,
the boat is now right side upagain and now you have that,
that, that self-awareness now.
(23:29):
So you disrupted theconditioning pattern of your
thinking and just and it takesabout what?
10 seconds, 12 seconds to do it, and that that is a very easy
technique that I'd recommendeverybody to do.
NatNat - Liftoneself (23:43):
Thank you for that demonstration and it
being relatable so that peoplecan actually.
You know, this is the thingabout mindfulness it's free,
it's simple.
Yet our minds have beenconditioned to complicate
everything and to be fast paced.
(24:04):
Mindfulness asks us to slowdown, to be in that flow state,
not this hurry, momentum andimpulsivity and run.
Everything's on fire.
It's okay, slow down into thisso that you can interrupt these
patterns and the way that youexplained it.
Some people might be like yeah,that's great, but I'm not doing
that in a meeting or I'm notdoing that with my friends.
I'm going to look reallyridiculous and the suggestion I
(24:27):
always give is like well, youknow, you don't learn your fire
roots and escape when the houseis on fire.
You learn it when everything isrelaxed so that when the house
is on fire it's not exaggerated,you can do it internally
without other people noticingWhile you were giving the
description of the belly breathand the exercise I was following
(24:50):
through.
Yet many people wouldn't knowthat unless they're looking at
my belly and seeing thedemonstration.
So what would you offer to thelisteners to start engaging in
this practice?
What would that look like on adaily basis?
Alan Carroll (25:05):
A daily practice would start with getting a place
in which you, as Sadhguru talksabout it is, you're a little
bit hungry, you're a little bittired, you are dead to the world
, there's no distractions, asquiet a space as you possibly
can get, so there's no noise anddo the best you can with that
(25:27):
one and also another key aspectto the practice is have no
expectations.
Start the practice with noexpectations, like I'm going to
reach enlightenment, I'm goingto be able to control my breath,
I'm going to be able to controlmy breath, I'm going to be able
to relax my mind.
I'm going to be able to noexpectations, because if you
(25:49):
have an expectation, then, oh, Ididn't get what I wanted to get
.
I'm not doing it right.
These thoughts are bothering me.
No, I have no expectations.
So that anything that happensfalls within a context of hey.
So that anything that happensfalls within a context of hey,
that's cool Because I had noexpectations.
That's really important to getthat thought across, because a
lot of people, when theymeditate, they complain that I'm
(26:10):
not achieving all those thingsthat Nat and Alan are talking
about.
No, you have no expectations.
And that allows you to maintaina calmness rather than getting
upset because it's not happeningthe way I want it to happen.
Just five minutes a day.
Just see if you can do fiveminutes a day of quiet stillness
.
Breathing would be great.
Breathing is fine.
(26:32):
That would be a great way tostart and you know, if you could
do that, that would be anindicator.
Oh well, then I can go to 10minutes.
I've been practicing off and onfor 50 years.
Finally, I went to a trainingwith Sadhguru, what's it called?
(26:52):
He offers a basic training.
It's a 20-minute.
NatNat - Liftoneself (26:56):
Oh, Inner Engineering.
Alan Carroll (26:58):
Inner Engineering .
You can do it online and it'sreally cool.
It's a 20-minute practice thatcombines the breathing a little
bit of light yoga.
You do it sitting down,alternative nostril breathing a
lot of things that.
I've been involved in.
That for every day for 10 years, for an hour and now it's like
(27:21):
brushing my teeth and whathappens is that you increase the
amount of empty space becauseyou're creating empty space.
So every time I pause, I createan empty space.
So my empty space statistic, myspace statistic, goes up and up
and up and up and up.
(27:42):
And after 10 years you've beenpracticing empty space for a
long time you actually,organically, have developed and
blossomed into a being that hasa lot of empty space.
Now the benefit of empty spaceis I use the analogy of the
wintertime you have a storm dooron the outside of your house
(28:04):
that blocks the flow of the windand the cold and the snow.
In the summertime, you have thescreen door that allows the
flow of energy.
Well, what's the differencebetween the two?
Well, the storm door has noholes.
So everybody, the ego, is likea storm door that blocks the
flow of energy, that resists theflow of energy, and you want to
convert it into a screen door.
(28:25):
Well, how do you do that?
You begin to poke holes at thestorm door.
So you poke holes in thepattern of your psychological
fabric, of your consciousness,of your ego.
How do you do that?
Pause between the sounds thatyou speak, take a conscious
(28:47):
breath.
They put holes and pretty soonyou're, you are a space now that
is speaking and that you.
You no longer get offended, youno longer get as upset.
If you do get upset, you canget back right very, very
quickly.
You're no longer take thingspersonally.
You know you, it comes out ofsomeone else's conditioned
(29:09):
reality.
So you're able to stay balancedin in life rather than storms
and suffering and capsized andanger and upset and irritation
and annoying all that begins toget.
It's not that it's not there,it's just that the waves aren't
(29:30):
as big in the ocean anymore.
All of a sudden you've stillgot waves, but you're able to
navigate and keep things moving.
So you're no longer spending alot of time complaining and
having grievances about life.
You're much more appreciativeof life and joy and more love,
(29:55):
more compassion and moreforgiveness.
NatNat - Liftoneself (29:58):
Yeah, I wanted to highlight that because
sometimes, no-transcript yournervous system is trying to
(30:30):
communicate with another nervoussystem and it's no longer there
.
We understand, I understandthat energy doesn't die, so our
life force is still there, inyou know the frequency but that
body.
So, while we can use thesetools, we don't have to drown
into the water.
We might intake a bit of waterand feel a little rough, yet by
(30:53):
using this mindfulness, you'reable to ride with life,
especially when these bigruptures happen.
Because you know, I feel thatsometimes people listen to this
and, like you said at thebeginning, they have this
expectation and they don't feellike they're doing it properly
and it's like nowhere is it tonegate the human experience.
Emotions are going to rise.
(31:14):
You know grief requires itsspace.
You know disappointment needsits space, like these are human
experiences, yet it's that youdon't have to fully identify and
drown into them, which many ofus do, because we think we are
that thing.
So I just want to make surethat that's clear for the
listener, that it's not thatyou're not doing it right, it's
(31:38):
not that this is going to bethis magic pill, that you're
going to arrive somewhere andlife is always going to feel
joyful and blissful because lifeis going to happen, and so
that's the reason why you usemindfulness so that you can stay
present as best as you can andnot stuck in the past and future
and trying to control thingsthat you can.
(31:58):
Allow curiosity to be out, notcertainty.
Alan Carroll (32:04):
Absolutely the part of certainty is the desire
for certainty is sort of theopposite of what mindfulness is.
Mindfulness is the erasing ofthe whiteboard.
It's not putting things on thewhiteboard, it's getting to that
space of nothingness, a spaceof non-judgment.
Another one that is sort of atricky one is that the ego is in
(32:29):
the judgment business and thejudgment and comparison business
, and it uses the past in orderto judge the present.
But as the past is comprised ofyour thoughts, as you begin to
erase your thoughts and begin topractice stillness and creating
(32:50):
gaps between the thoughts thatyou speak, see, the goal in
meditation is you want to beable to create gaps of spaces
between the thoughts that youthink.
Well, that's a little morechallenging.
But everybody here who'slistening to this podcast, who
speaks and I think probablyeverybody speaks you're you want
(33:12):
to notice that there's an emptyspace between the words that I
speak.
And if I can consciously createthe empty space, then then you
have what's called fluidity.
Fluidity is a flow of energy,but if there's no space between
(33:36):
the thoughts that you think,which is the ego, consciousness
constipated, then there is nofluidity, there is heat, there's
resistance.
So, just from a physicalphysics point of view.
By creating empty spacesbetween the thoughts that you
speak.
You become more fluid andfluidity allows you to you.
(33:59):
Use the word you.
You're able to navigate betterthrough through the water.
There's a flow.
Use the word you.
You're able to navigate betterthrough through the water.
There's a flow in the water you.
You no longer are resistinglife.
Stuff still happens, but you'remore surfing the waves.
You're not in the way, you'reon top, surfing like space
surfing, I call it.
You're surfing the space, andmost people are start, are
(34:20):
trying to swim in the water.
Well, get on the board of spaceand become a space surfer and
you'll notice that, hey, life isa lot more fun.
It is and really, it's all one,it's all divine.
All those things you think arehorrible, they're not horrible
at all, they're divine.
(34:41):
You just aren't able to forgiveit.
The problem of it is is thatthe ego is not in the
forgiveness business and thatthat leads to a lot of suffering
.
The being, the spirituality,the Holy Spirit operates from
forgiveness and and and part ofthe forgiveness you discover is
the forgiveness of the quote sinthat you've done yourself
(35:03):
inside.
Oh, I've done that.
No, no, god did not create sin.
God created a being of lightand love and cheerfulness, the
ego boy that created sin andshame and guilt.
But I like when the Bible talksabout in the Apostles' Creed, is
what do those apostles say youwant to believe in?
Well, I believe in theforgiveness of sin.
(35:25):
Well, yeah, that's in the Bible, but no, no, that's right here
in Ottawa, canada andConnecticut the forgiveness of
sin.
And so now forgiveness is aloving quality.
And all of a sudden the sininside of me is no longer
projected onto you and all thosebad things you've done, because
(35:45):
you and I are the same, andit's like wait a minute and all
of a sudden you realize it'sjust one one, one dream.
We're all in right now and andthe way to navigate it is with
love, and joy and compassionyeah, as Ram Dass says, we're
all walking each other home andwe can tend to forget that.
NatNat - Liftoneself (36:05):
I want to bring you into a reflective
question.
I want to ask you what wouldyour past self say to you
presently?
Alan Carroll (36:22):
practice forgiveness earlier and start
your meditation practice earlier, and I was lucky in that
because I started to practicepretty early.
I didn't wait till later on.
I was caught by the bug in myearly teens and so I was able to
.
Well, I was also blessed.
(36:43):
I had a psychic reading when Iwas 21 years old by a very high
level psychic and they closed myeyes.
I was thrown back in my chairwith energy and he told me
exactly what my job was on theplanet.
Because I asked him what's mypurpose on the planet?
(37:03):
And so at 21 years old, I knewmy purpose.
So everything was easy to makea choice.
So I, I was blessed, so I Ican't, I can't complain, I can't
argue, I can't really answerthe question, because I've I've
had a blessed life and I'm veryappreciative of this and I'd
like to be able to do more.
That's one reason why I do thepodcast, because all the things
(37:24):
that I've learned, the thingsthey were talking about, might
save people time on their ownjourney, that they can get there
quicker, because Alan and NatNat have spent a lot of time
doing push-ups in the gym, inthe gymnasium of space.
NatNat - Liftoneself (37:38):
Yeah, what would your future self want to
offer to you?
Alan Carroll (37:44):
Joy and love and compassion.
Have fun, do more push-ups,enjoy the journey.
NatNat - Liftoneself (37:54):
Nice, nice .
Now can you let the listenersknow where they can find you?
Because, as you said at thebeginning, you offer a service
of helping people bring thismindfulness into their public
speaking and be in their bodyand be in who they are and emit
that energy out.
So could you let the listenersknow where they can find you,
(38:15):
Alan?
Alan Carroll (38:17):
We have a website , acamindfulyoucom
acamindfulyoucom.
I wrote a book called theBroadband Connection the Art of
Delivering a Winning ITPresentation.
Most of our business that we'vedone in the last 50 years are
(38:37):
for corporations around theworld.
We've been to over 60 countriesand large corporations.
We really don't do privatecourses anymore, we do
individual coaching.
So if they wanted individualcoaching, we can do individual
coaching online virtually.
We can also do live trainings,but the idea of the website
(39:00):
would be a good way, a goodportal, to get into our world.
I'm also the host of theMindful you podcast.
Mindful is M-I-N-D, mindful youY-O-U dot com.
No, my Mindful you podcast.
So that's available to hear ustalk more like we have
conversations right now.
(39:20):
That's another way of listeningto the words that we speak.
NatNat - Liftoneself (39:25):
I want to ask you to reflect and be
internal, and is there anintention that you want to offer
the listeners that wouldempower them?
Alan Carroll (39:41):
The fifth element of space is available to
children, is available toteenagers, is available to
adults, is available to oldpeople like me.
It's available to everybody,it's free, it doesn't cost any
money.
All you have to do is stop,smell the flowers, blow out the
(40:03):
candles and you return to thatstate of mindfulness, that state
of creating a space.
And I want to point out again Isaid it, but I want to point
out again everybody knows how tospeak, but everybody only plays
one note the note of sound.
(40:25):
When you begin to do research onpracticing by yourself in front
of the mirror, creating a soundin the mirror and then creating
silence in the mirror, creatingsound in the mirror, creating
silence, and so you begin toperform your thoughts rather
than just talk, and everybodycan do that, it's free, it's
(40:47):
simple, and that's anothermindfulness activity that you
can do that will return you to asense of presence and stillness
.
And, boy, when you become stillin the world of agitation in
which we live in, it gives youan advantage in terms of how to
manage things and make decisions, because you're still where
(41:11):
everyone else is going bonkerswith.
I mean, canada is the 51ststate of the United States.
It's just a lot of things thatcan easily upset you.
It won't upset you as much, anddecisions are not going to be
made out of anger.
They're going to be made of yougot to be kidding, kind of
thing.
NatNat - Liftoneself (41:30):
Yeah, yeah .
Well, I really appreciated thisconversation.
I appreciate the way that youexplain this in very simple
terms so that it doesn't feel soacademic or too nuanced, that
it can be attainable.
And if people are open andcurious, they can enrich their
(41:51):
life in so many ways.
And I thank you for being thatlight in the world, that you are
bringing this mindfulness intocorporations and into people so
that we can connect and createthat village, not be all
independent that we can beinterconnected and not be that
king of the hill, that we allhave abundance to share amongst
(42:14):
each other, so that we can be inthat flow state and not in
those power dynamics.
So thank you so much for whatyou bring forth in the world,
alan.
Alan Carroll (42:25):
Well, nat, thank you for the opportunity to let
me sing my song for 45 minutes.
I enjoy singing the mindfulnesssong, so thank you for the
opportunity to be on your show.
NatNat - Liftoneself (42:37):
Please remember to be kind to yourself.
Alan Carroll (42:40):
Absolutely.
NatNat - Liftoneself (42:41):
Hey, you made it all the way here.
I appreciate you and your time.
If you found value in thisconversation, please share it
out.
If there was somebody thatpopped into your mind, take
action and share it out withthem.
It possibly may not be themthat will benefit.
It's that they know somebodythat will benefit from listening
(43:02):
to this conversation.
So please take action and shareout the podcast.
You can find us on social mediaon Facebook, instagram and
TikTok under Lift One Self, andif you want to inquire about the
work that I do and the servicesthat I provide to people, come
over on my website, come into adiscovery call liftoneselfcom.
(43:27):
Until next time, pleaseremember to be kind and gentle
with yourself.
You matter.
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