August 20, 2025 • 12 mins
What’s your reality?
In this episode, Lachlan Stuart shares why most men fail at reaching their goals, not because they lack motivation, but because they skip the step of facing their current reality.
You’ll discover:
- The truth about setting “big hairy audacious goals.”
- How the 7 Domains of Life reveal what’s holding you back.
- Why success requires an honest baseline before you build.
- A powerful exercise called the reverse bucket list that shifts your perspective instantly.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re not living up to your potential, this conversation will give you the clarity and framework to start rebuilding from the inside out.
Stay tuned for Lachlan’s free Inner Track Scorecard™ coming soon.
Take the "MAN THAT CAN" Scorecard: HERE
Follow Lachlan:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lachlanstuart/
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@lachlanstuart91
Website: https://themanthatcanproject.com/
Newsletter: https://lachlan-stuart-tmtcp.ck.page/profile
Do Something Today To Be Better For Tomorrow
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lachlan Stuart (00:00):
What's your reality, or it's what I want to
talk to you about today.
Whenever a man steps into myoffice, the first thing that we
really want to dive into if heis looking to improve his
quality of life is what is thereality?
A lot of times, when peopledecide they want something
different and this may be you weset this goal, we get excited
by the goal, but we don't reallyever get clear on what our
(00:23):
baseline is or what our currentlaunch pad is.
And it's very hard to build asolid foundation meaning
something that you can stick toif you aren't aware of what
foundation you're building it on.
And I became very aware of thisprobably a decade ago, when I
was wanting to improve my life.
I realized and I'd set a goalsimilar to what I was mentioning
(00:43):
watched a guy on stage.
I was super inspired and Iwalked away from that event
going I want to do that and Iwant to earn a million bucks,
right.
It was the motivation thatencouraged me to set the goal,
which is what we talk about alot.
But what I didn't realize wasthat the timeline that I'd set
for that or the timeframe thatI'd set for that was just
ridiculous.
(01:04):
I wanted to do this in 12months.
I'd never earned over 60 granda year, let alone over 10x-ing
that, to make that happen.
So I don't want to everdiscredit the decision that you
make to set a big, hairy,audacious goal, as I call it.
But I think it's just importantto make sure that when you're
setting a goal much like when Iset that goal it's on the
(01:26):
horizon, meaning you're lookingup and you need to challenge
yourself, but it's not over themountain, meaning there is a lot
of stuff that has to happen inthe meantime.
So I walked out of that and Ijust remember thinking all right
, motivation, it's going tohappen and you cannot fault the
enthusiasm.
But I just didn't have a lot ofthings working for me and I was
setting myself up to fail.
I don't want you to fail, andI'm sure you're maybe sick of
failing in certain things.
(01:46):
Fail is an important part, butif we can get a few runs on the
board, you're going to be ableto change your life.
I truly believe that.
So the main thing that I wantyou to walk away with today is
knowing how you can create yourreality, and some of it's going
to be confronting.
I remember having to look atmyself in the mirror and just be
(02:07):
like look, this is who you are,this is how you've been acting.
This is the current reality ofthe results you've got, and it's
not as good as you would haveliked, or maybe you aren't as
good as you think you are.
That's tough to deal with and Ihad to own up to a lot of
things.
But what made it, I guess,easier for me to start breaking
(02:28):
things down and making progressin my life was looking at
different domains of life.
I was introduced to thisconcept literally a decade ago
and I ended up creating I guessit's a keynote or a podcast.
You can go back and find it.
If you've been listening to thepodcast long enough, you'll see
it the eight areas all men mustmaster, which has now gone into
the seven domains of life, orthe inner track, which is
(02:49):
something that I'll have freefor you guys to go through, and
you'll be able to actually getyour own score within the next
week.
So make sure you come back tothat one.
But when we're looking at thedomains of life, it's important
to get clear on what the realityis across those areas, because
you need to know that they'reall connected right.
The quality of your healthimpacts your mindset, it can
impact your lifestyle, it canimpact your relationships, just
(03:12):
like the quality of yourrelationships can impact your
lifestyle, can impact yourmindset, can impact your health.
And so we need to start lookingat what's the reality of that
and what's holding me back,because we're only as strong as
our weakest link.
So, when we're looking at theseven domains, think about it
like this We've got personalgrowth, we've got health, we've
got mindset, we've gotrelationships, we've got
lifestyle and we've got financesSome super simple categories
(03:35):
that everyone can ratethemselves on, and if you were
to have to rate yourself out of10 being it couldn't get any
better.
You've already achieved theoptimal in that area.
What would you rate yourself?
And one being like it is theworst.
Then you can give yourself acollective score, and that, to
me, is what I would call yourinner track score, your overall
life satisfaction score, andthen you can look at them and go
(03:57):
finances is 10, relationshipsare nine, lifestyles are nine,
but my mindset and my health arethrees, and this is common for
a lot of high-performing men.
They have the runs on the board, but they have that internal
chaos which is leading toeverything else falling down
around them.
And look to be honest, it keepsme in business, but you
probably do not want to live alife like that and I know for a
(04:21):
fact I do not want to live mylife like that.
So when you get clear on thosedomains, we can then go.
Where am I honestly at there?
And then this is what we dowhen we're looking at your
reality and essentiallyidentifying your baseline.
And the B in baseline is thevery first step in the become
method, which is, I guess, myprocess in helping men rebuild
(04:44):
or grow from the inside out sothat they can lead in their life
, in their love and in theirfinances.
So we want to get that dialeddown.
So the first thing, get clearon those seven domains, score
yourself.
Make sure you follow here,because within the next seven
days I will have somethingavailable for you for free that
you can rate and actually getsome steps on how to improve
(05:04):
those areas.
I'm very excited to share thatwith you guys.
After sort of getting clear onthose areas within my own life,
I started setting goals aroundwanting to get healthier, I
wanted to get wealthier, Iwanted to improve my
relationship with myself and myrelationship with my wife or
girlfriend back then, and itgave me purpose.
Every day I wasn't working onone area, I was working on
(05:25):
another, and it just became.
The healthier I got, the moreconfident I became, which
allowed me to show up moreconfidently in my relationships.
And as my relationships becamebetter, my network grew and more
opportunities became availableto me and life just really
started running or moving inthat right direction.
But I could not have got therehad I not been honest, and I
(05:47):
still remember going back to2017 when, three years into
trying to achieve this milliondollar a year business, I didn't
have the runs on the board.
I'd actually gone from runninga network marketing business
back to Ubering and I didn'tknow what I wanted to do.
I was stuck and I had to have agood hard look at myself.
I had done a lot of work and Ihad made some massive
(06:09):
improvements in my life, but thesame things that were driving
me to chase my potential whichwere the things that I was
running away from had started tocome back up, and that was that
I'm not good enough.
It was that I was weak and thatI was a failure, and when they
were ruminating around in mymind.
My mood started to drop, myenthusiasm dropped and my
(06:31):
appetite for risk meaning doingthe things that I needed to do
that were challenging me thatwould have put me in a position
to be better and have a betterlife were holding me back, and I
didn't really have that pain towant to change anymore, because
my life wasn't crap anymore.
It was much better.
(06:51):
But I was losing that drive towant to continue excelling, and
that's one thing that I've seenso many times is that when
people aren't honest withthemselves, they're like that's
pretty good.
I'm probably an atheist.
What does that even mean?
And what are you comparing thatto?
And I had to go back to thoseareas that I mentioned.
What would a 10 look like if Iwas thinking bigger?
Because at any one point you'regoing to be moving from pain
(07:13):
back to homeostasis or whateveryou feel like a good baseline
would be within your life.
That's cool, and once you getthere which was where I didn't
have immense amounts of pain inmy life life was pretty cool.
It was better than it was, butI didn't really have a
compelling future to buildtowards, and that's what we need
to go to and the benefit ofhaving a baseline, and you've
(07:36):
always got a baseline.
It doesn't matter whetheryou're in the pits on the rock
bottom or you're currently whereyou are while you're listening
to this, there is a baseline forwhere you're at.
Which is your reality right?
Where are you at financially?
What are your relationshipslike?
How's your health?
What's your energy?
If you're using a whoop, like Ido, what is the scores there?
How many date nights do you getto have?
(07:58):
Looking at your calendar, doyou feel inspired by the week
ahead or are you just likeanother week?
How much longer can I do this?
For, be honest, think about it,check in with it.
But I had to create that pain towant to change and I still
wanted to continue building anincredible lifestyle.
And when I started looking atit, it's like I've got more
flexibility in my life.
(08:18):
I'm in control of what I'mdoing, and that was Uber driving
but I'm a little bit limited onfinances.
I am still not the mainprovider in my family, so
therefore, that was, I guess,ruining the image that I had of
myself.
I didn't feel like a man, Ididn't feel like I was truly
contributing, and that wassupporting that limiting belief
I had that I'm not good enough.
So I had to challenge that andI was like, if I want to feel
(08:41):
like I'm good enough, I have tothink bigger, I have to push
myself harder and I have tostart raising the bar on what
I'm capable of earning more sothat I can provide.
And that's going to, I guess,create this positive feedback
loop.
And that's where I want you tothink about what pain can you
create?
And this may sound sadistic, butfor me it just motivated me.
I was sitting back and whenyou're not moving, you are.
(09:05):
Tony Robbins always says, whenyou're not growing, you're dying
.
And that's essentially what Iwas doing Watching the time tick
by, hoping that I would hit alucky streak.
And if you want to create agood life, you've got to get
very clear on that baseline, andit can be tough and challenging
, which there was a lot ofreality checks along the way,
(09:26):
and I got introduced to thisconcept called the reverse
bucket list and I wanted toshare this with you as well
while we're looking at yourbaseline, because a baseline,
when you start acknowledgingsome of the honest truths, can
leave you feeling a little bitfucking flat.
I'm going to be honest Becauseif you're not where you want to
be or you haven't been living upto your potential, why would
you feel amazing about that?
But the cool thing is is whenyou start acknowledging where
(09:48):
you're at, you now put yourselfin the most powerful position to
change.
And one thing to leave you withis that reverse bucket list.
And the reverse bucket list isthis Look back on your life,
think about the experiences thatyou've had, the memories that
you've created with people, theachievements that you've done,
and write them down.
They're things that you can begrateful for, things that you
(10:08):
can be proud of and things thatcan show you the good parts
about yourself that quite oftenwe overlook, because when we're
looking so far in the future, weoften forget to look back and
appreciate.
We definitely look back and gofuck, I'm not good enough or I
did this.
I need to punish myself for therest of my life for that, as
opposed to going.
I represented Australia, I wona GPS title, I got to live out
(10:33):
my childhood dream, I've gotsome lifelong friends, I turned
my life around Things like thatthat we can actually be proud of
, because then, when we go, ourreality may not be where I want
to be, but up until this point,I've done some pretty cool stuff
.
So what are those cool thingsthat you have done?
Because while you're divingdeep in the baseline right your
(10:53):
current reality that also meanswhile you're looking at what you
don't want the shit you alsogot to look back at the things
that you've done well and you'vegot to give yourself a pat on
the back for that.
So I want you to think aboutthis.
If you were to be honest andobserve all of the domains of
your life, where are youcurrently, where would you like
(11:15):
to be and how far have youalready come?
My name is loachlan Stewart.
Make sure you stay on thelookout for this new school card
I've got coming out.
I look forward to sharing moreof these little short snippets.
These have been getting greatfeedback from you all and I look
forward to so many more.
I think this came off the backof me looking at where my
baseline is right now, and I'vebeen playing small.
(11:38):
I've not been talking to thepoint, giving you guys as much.
I guess not even advice, likejust honest frameworks that I
use or throwing the questionsout there, the things that I'm
thinking about, that not onlyhelp me and my clients, but
could help you just by listeningto this.
So, wherever you're listeningto it, I hope there's been a few
things that you can take away,few things that you can.
What's your reality, or it's what I want to
talk to you about today.
Whenever a man steps into myoffice, the first thing that we
really want to dive into if heis looking to improve his
quality of life is what is thereality?
A lot of times, when peopledecide they want something
different and this may be you weset this goal, we get excited
by the goal, but we don't reallyever get clear on what our
(00:23):
baseline is or what our currentlaunch pad is.
And it's very hard to build asolid foundation meaning
something that you can stick toif you aren't aware of what
foundation you're building it on.
And I became very aware of thisprobably a decade ago, when I
was wanting to improve my life.
I realized and I'd set a goalsimilar to what I was mentioning
(00:43):
watched a guy on stage.
I was super inspired and Iwalked away from that event
going I want to do that and Iwant to earn a million bucks,
right.
It was the motivation thatencouraged me to set the goal,
which is what we talk about alot.
But what I didn't realize wasthat the timeline that I'd set
for that or the timeframe thatI'd set for that was just
ridiculous.
(01:04):
I wanted to do this in 12months.
I'd never earned over 60 granda year, let alone over 10x-ing
that, to make that happen.
So I don't want to everdiscredit the decision that you
make to set a big, hairy,audacious goal, as I call it.
But I think it's just importantto make sure that when you're
setting a goal much like when Iset that goal it's on the
(01:26):
horizon, meaning you're lookingup and you need to challenge
yourself, but it's not over themountain, meaning there is a lot
of stuff that has to happen inthe meantime.
So I walked out of that and Ijust remember thinking all right
, motivation, it's going tohappen and you cannot fault the
enthusiasm.
But I just didn't have a lot ofthings working for me and I was
setting myself up to fail.
I don't want you to fail, andI'm sure you're maybe sick of
failing in certain things.
(01:46):
Fail is an important part, butif we can get a few runs on the
board, you're going to be ableto change your life.
I truly believe that.
So the main thing that I wantyou to walk away with today is
knowing how you can create yourreality, and some of it's going
to be confronting.
I remember having to look atmyself in the mirror and just be
(02:07):
like look, this is who you are,this is how you've been acting.
This is the current reality ofthe results you've got, and it's
not as good as you would haveliked, or maybe you aren't as
good as you think you are.
That's tough to deal with and Ihad to own up to a lot of
things.
But what made it, I guess,easier for me to start breaking
(02:28):
things down and making progressin my life was looking at
different domains of life.
I was introduced to thisconcept literally a decade ago
and I ended up creating I guessit's a keynote or a podcast.
You can go back and find it.
If you've been listening to thepodcast long enough, you'll see
it the eight areas all men mustmaster, which has now gone into
the seven domains of life, orthe inner track, which is
(02:49):
something that I'll have freefor you guys to go through, and
you'll be able to actually getyour own score within the next
week.
So make sure you come back tothat one.
But when we're looking at thedomains of life, it's important
to get clear on what the realityis across those areas, because
you need to know that they'reall connected right.
The quality of your healthimpacts your mindset, it can
impact your lifestyle, it canimpact your relationships, just
(03:12):
like the quality of yourrelationships can impact your
lifestyle, can impact yourmindset, can impact your health.
And so we need to start lookingat what's the reality of that
and what's holding me back,because we're only as strong as
our weakest link.
So, when we're looking at theseven domains, think about it
like this We've got personalgrowth, we've got health, we've
got mindset, we've gotrelationships, we've got
lifestyle and we've got financesSome super simple categories
(03:35):
that everyone can ratethemselves on, and if you were
to have to rate yourself out of10 being it couldn't get any
better.
You've already achieved theoptimal in that area.
What would you rate yourself?
And one being like it is theworst.
Then you can give yourself acollective score, and that, to
me, is what I would call yourinner track score, your overall
life satisfaction score, andthen you can look at them and go
(03:57):
finances is 10, relationshipsare nine, lifestyles are nine,
but my mindset and my health arethrees, and this is common for
a lot of high-performing men.
They have the runs on the board, but they have that internal
chaos which is leading toeverything else falling down
around them.
And look to be honest, it keepsme in business, but you
probably do not want to live alife like that and I know for a
(04:21):
fact I do not want to live mylife like that.
So when you get clear on thosedomains, we can then go.
Where am I honestly at there?
And then this is what we dowhen we're looking at your
reality and essentiallyidentifying your baseline.
And the B in baseline is thevery first step in the become
method, which is, I guess, myprocess in helping men rebuild
(04:44):
or grow from the inside out sothat they can lead in their life
, in their love and in theirfinances.
So we want to get that dialeddown.
So the first thing, get clearon those seven domains, score
yourself.
Make sure you follow here,because within the next seven
days I will have somethingavailable for you for free that
you can rate and actually getsome steps on how to improve
(05:04):
those areas.
I'm very excited to share thatwith you guys.
After sort of getting clear onthose areas within my own life,
I started setting goals aroundwanting to get healthier, I
wanted to get wealthier, Iwanted to improve my
relationship with myself and myrelationship with my wife or
girlfriend back then, and itgave me purpose.
Every day I wasn't working onone area, I was working on
(05:25):
another, and it just became.
The healthier I got, the moreconfident I became, which
allowed me to show up moreconfidently in my relationships.
And as my relationships becamebetter, my network grew and more
opportunities became availableto me and life just really
started running or moving inthat right direction.
But I could not have got therehad I not been honest, and I
(05:47):
still remember going back to2017 when, three years into
trying to achieve this milliondollar a year business, I didn't
have the runs on the board.
I'd actually gone from runninga network marketing business
back to Ubering and I didn'tknow what I wanted to do.
I was stuck and I had to have agood hard look at myself.
I had done a lot of work and Ihad made some massive
(06:09):
improvements in my life, but thesame things that were driving
me to chase my potential whichwere the things that I was
running away from had started tocome back up, and that was that
I'm not good enough.
It was that I was weak and thatI was a failure, and when they
were ruminating around in mymind.
My mood started to drop, myenthusiasm dropped and my
(06:31):
appetite for risk meaning doingthe things that I needed to do
that were challenging me thatwould have put me in a position
to be better and have a betterlife were holding me back, and I
didn't really have that pain towant to change anymore, because
my life wasn't crap anymore.
It was much better.
(06:51):
But I was losing that drive towant to continue excelling, and
that's one thing that I've seenso many times is that when
people aren't honest withthemselves, they're like that's
pretty good.
I'm probably an atheist.
What does that even mean?
And what are you comparing thatto?
And I had to go back to thoseareas that I mentioned.
What would a 10 look like if Iwas thinking bigger?
Because at any one point you'regoing to be moving from pain
(07:13):
back to homeostasis or whateveryou feel like a good baseline
would be within your life.
That's cool, and once you getthere which was where I didn't
have immense amounts of pain inmy life life was pretty cool.
It was better than it was, butI didn't really have a
compelling future to buildtowards, and that's what we need
to go to and the benefit ofhaving a baseline, and you've
(07:36):
always got a baseline.
It doesn't matter whetheryou're in the pits on the rock
bottom or you're currently whereyou are while you're listening
to this, there is a baseline forwhere you're at.
Which is your reality right?
Where are you at financially?
What are your relationshipslike?
How's your health?
What's your energy?
If you're using a whoop, like Ido, what is the scores there?
How many date nights do you getto have?
(07:58):
Looking at your calendar, doyou feel inspired by the week
ahead or are you just likeanother week?
How much longer can I do this?
For, be honest, think about it,check in with it.
But I had to create that pain towant to change and I still
wanted to continue building anincredible lifestyle.
And when I started looking atit, it's like I've got more
flexibility in my life.
(08:18):
I'm in control of what I'mdoing, and that was Uber driving
but I'm a little bit limited onfinances.
I am still not the mainprovider in my family, so
therefore, that was, I guess,ruining the image that I had of
myself.
I didn't feel like a man, Ididn't feel like I was truly
contributing, and that wassupporting that limiting belief
I had that I'm not good enough.
So I had to challenge that andI was like, if I want to feel
(08:41):
like I'm good enough, I have tothink bigger, I have to push
myself harder and I have tostart raising the bar on what
I'm capable of earning more sothat I can provide.
And that's going to, I guess,create this positive feedback
loop.
And that's where I want you tothink about what pain can you
create?
And this may sound sadistic, butfor me it just motivated me.
I was sitting back and whenyou're not moving, you are.
(09:05):
Tony Robbins always says, whenyou're not growing, you're dying
.
And that's essentially what Iwas doing Watching the time tick
by, hoping that I would hit alucky streak.
And if you want to create agood life, you've got to get
very clear on that baseline, andit can be tough and challenging
, which there was a lot ofreality checks along the way,
(09:26):
and I got introduced to thisconcept called the reverse
bucket list and I wanted toshare this with you as well
while we're looking at yourbaseline, because a baseline,
when you start acknowledgingsome of the honest truths, can
leave you feeling a little bitfucking flat.
I'm going to be honest Becauseif you're not where you want to
be or you haven't been living upto your potential, why would
you feel amazing about that?
But the cool thing is is whenyou start acknowledging where
(09:48):
you're at, you now put yourselfin the most powerful position to
change.
And one thing to leave you withis that reverse bucket list.
And the reverse bucket list isthis Look back on your life,
think about the experiences thatyou've had, the memories that
you've created with people, theachievements that you've done,
and write them down.
They're things that you can begrateful for, things that you
(10:08):
can be proud of and things thatcan show you the good parts
about yourself that quite oftenwe overlook, because when we're
looking so far in the future, weoften forget to look back and
appreciate.
We definitely look back and gofuck, I'm not good enough or I
did this.
I need to punish myself for therest of my life for that, as
opposed to going.
I represented Australia, I wona GPS title, I got to live out
(10:33):
my childhood dream, I've gotsome lifelong friends, I turned
my life around Things like thatthat we can actually be proud of
, because then, when we go, ourreality may not be where I want
to be, but up until this point,I've done some pretty cool stuff
.
So what are those cool thingsthat you have done?
Because while you're divingdeep in the baseline right your
(10:53):
current reality that also meanswhile you're looking at what you
don't want the shit you alsogot to look back at the things
that you've done well and you'vegot to give yourself a pat on
the back for that.
So I want you to think aboutthis.
If you were to be honest andobserve all of the domains of
your life, where are youcurrently, where would you like
(11:15):
to be and how far have youalready come?
My name is loachlan Stewart.
Make sure you stay on thelookout for this new school card
I've got coming out.
I look forward to sharing moreof these little short snippets.
These have been getting greatfeedback from you all and I look
forward to so many more.
I think this came off the backof me looking at where my
baseline is right now, and I'vebeen playing small.
(11:38):
I've not been talking to thepoint, giving you guys as much.
I guess not even advice, likejust honest frameworks that I
use or throwing the questionsout there, the things that I'm
thinking about, that not onlyhelp me and my clients, but
could help you just by listeningto this.
So, wherever you're listeningto it, I hope there's been a few
things that you can take away,few things that you can.
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