November 6, 2024 • 20 mins
Lachie Stuart discusses the impact of limiting beliefs on personal growth and how to overcome them.
He shares his experiences with self-doubt while preparing for a challenging marathon journey and emphasizes the importance of a supportive network.
Lachie encourages listeners to challenge their negative thoughts, adopt a growth mindset, and take actionable steps towards self-improvement.
Takeaways
- Limiting beliefs can hold you back from achieving your goals.
- Awareness of negative thoughts is the first step to change.
- Flipping the script on limiting beliefs can lead to positive outcomes.
- A growth mindset allows for learning and development.
- Surrounding yourself with a supportive community is crucial.
- Challenging negative beliefs can help you find evidence for positivity.
- Writing down limiting beliefs helps in recognizing them.
- Trusting your gut is essential for personal authenticity.
- Conditioning yourself to focus on positives can change your mindset.
- Taking action towards self-improvement is key to overcoming obstacles.
Follow Lachlan:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lachlanstuart/
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@lachlanstuart91
Website: https://themanthatcanproject.com/
Newsletter: https://lachlan-stuart-tmtcp.ck.page/profile
Do Something Today To Be Better For Tomorrow
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lachlan Stuart (00:00):
How to Stop Limiting Beliefs from Holding
you Back.
This week I wanted to drop asolo episode on this because
it's something that I'mexperiencing a lot going through
the 58 marathons in 58 daysacross 58 states, not just the
training but the building ourteam out, getting the logistics
sorted and then thinking aboutmy role within all of that and
(00:22):
it's something that is daunting.
It really is daunting.
But then when I catch myselfand I'm aware of those negative
thoughts or those limitingthoughts, I'm able to think, hey
, this Lockie is just going torequire a different version of
you, a better version of you,the version of you that believes
you can achieve these things,the version of you that believes
(00:44):
you can build out that team.
And that's what I'm excited todive into and unpack today over
the next sort of 15 minutes,what I would love to quickly
just share as well.
For all of you who have takenthe time to follow the show, it
means a lot.
Once again, it's super helpfulbecause it allows sponsors and
other people that come on boardwith what we're doing and with
(01:06):
the man that can and the otherchallenges that I've got that
I'm building towards.
It allows them to see thatthere are people who are engaged
in this audience.
If you do keep coming back weekafter week and you're finding
value, yet you haven't hitsubscribe on YouTube or on
Spotify or Apple Podcasts orwherever you get your listening
from, please do it.
(01:27):
That would help me outmassively, so get started there.
So what I'd like to start withis an initial belief.
We all have some limitingbeliefs that we've adopted
within our life, whether it'sfrom experience and we've just
held on to it and haven'tallowed ourselves to move
forward, or there's beliefs thatwe've had, I guess, pressed
(01:49):
upon us from our family, fromour environment or even from the
schooling system that we grewup in.
Now, a big one that I had thatI wanted to talk about.
Actually, you know what?
I've written a newsletter here,but I'm just going to talk
about the 58 Marathon.
So one of the initial beliefsthat I had around the marathon
(02:11):
was I can't walk away from mylife for two months to invest in
something that I really feel Iwould get a lot of benefit out
of in terms of life experience,sharing moments with people that
I meet along the way, and justthe physical challenge of it.
I felt that, hey, I'm mid-30snow, I'm married, I have a
(02:33):
mortgage.
It's not possible.
I have to stop.
I have to say no to thoseexciting things that I want to
do, because I've gotresponsibilities, what I was
very fortunate that I caughtmyself in and I have great
people within my life that wereable to sort of just jump on
board straight away and back me.
There was not a moment ofhesitation and because I did
(02:56):
that, I started looking into itfurther.
And when I started looking intoit further, I was able to
recognize the limiting beliefsthat I'd put in place that were
potentially going to rob me of awildlife experience, something
that I just can't wait.
When I'm googling the routethat we're going on and I'm
looking at what it looks like inwinter and it's just so
(03:17):
picturesque, like snow-cappedmountains, montana, it's like
blizzard season.
So these things are happening.
I'm like man that's going to besuch as wild as it will be.
It's going to be beautiful andpicturesque and something that
I'll be able to talk about andreflect upon for the rest of my
life.
So when I started becomingaware of that, I was starting to
(03:38):
be able to work out how I couldshift that belief, because in
life, with all limiting beliefswhich we have, or with all
negative beliefs, which we allhave.
You can either choose to listento those and they will dictate
and determine the results thatyou gain from the outcomes or
the actions that you've taken.
(03:59):
And from my own experience andfrom people that I've worked
with I've worked with hundredsof men over the years if you
continue to listen to thenegative beliefs and the
limiting beliefs, your life'snot going to go in the direction
that you generally want,because it wants you to play
small, it wants you to stay safe.
You have also adopted a lot ofthose beliefs in a time where
(04:23):
you lacked a lot ofself-awareness and you believed
that things that people said toyou were true.
Like you're not good enough,you'll never amount to something
.
You'll never be able to make amillion dollars, whatever it may
be for you.
I'm sure you've got thelimiting beliefs in your mind,
but what I want you to do ifyou've got a pen and paper,
(04:46):
start writing down a couple oflimiting beliefs, okay, because
within all limiting beliefs orwithin all negative thoughts, we
have a heap of freaking momentsin life where we can find
evidence, we can validate that,and if you want to do that,
(05:06):
awesome.
But I challenge you with thatlist that you've written down,
to now flip the script.
So, for example, one that I hadhere is I can't build a
successful business.
Flipping that would be.
I am a successful businessowner or operator, or whatever
the word that you would like touse.
(05:26):
I cannot be in a loving,healthy, happy, passionate
relationship.
I am in a loving, healthy,happy, positive relationship.
Now I want to circle backaround.
So both of those.
When I was initially in themindset of the negative it was
(05:51):
my soul belief I found it reallywoo-woo and almost challenging
to flip the script, much likeI'm telling you to do right now.
I just thought, lockie, youcan't just say things and they
happen, but I've gritten badwith it anyway, and over time,
because I was starting to focuson this is who I am.
I was shifting my identity, Istarted acting differently, I
(06:13):
started behaving differently andconducting myself differently,
which led to different results.
And, over time, those limitingbeliefs that I was shifting to
the positive ones were startingto become and feel more real.
And so I urge you, or I reallywant you, to just go.
Hey, look, as much as thisfeels batshit crazy or this
(06:35):
feels woo-woo, I'm going totrust you here.
I'm going to convert my limitingbelief or my negative thoughts
into a positive thought and I'mgoing to run with that.
I'm going to keep being awareof when I'm allowing the
negative thought or the limitingbeliefs to jump into my mind
and I'm going to shift it everytime.
I'm going to shift it everytime, I'm going to challenge it
(06:55):
every time and when you startchallenging it, right?
Yes, as I said, you've gotplenty of evidence to back up
why maybe you wouldn't be a goodbusiness owner or why you
couldn't be in a passionate,loving relationship.
I had that as well.
But you're going to startfinding more evidence around why
you can and why you are,because you find what you're
(07:15):
looking for.
And if what you're tellingyourself is negative, you're
going to find more of that.
But if what you're tellingyourself is positive, you're
also going to find more of that.
And doesn't that just make sense?
Even if it were woo-woo, evenif it were complete hocus-pocus,
wouldn't it make sense ifthat's going to make you feel
(07:37):
better and move you towardsbetter results?
Because I know it's not woo-woo, I know it's not BS.
It truly works.
And look, I'm not perfect withit.
I still have plenty of crappythoughts floating around in my
head.
The thing is, I'm aware of it,I challenge it and I work on
changing it.
I use my actions to change itwhen I challenge it.
(07:58):
That's what I'm encouraging youto do, because the one that I
wrote about here in thenewsletter this week was I can't
build a successful business.
I'd had eight years in businessand I was humming along nicely
and as everything when you'redoing well, when you're in
momentum, you go look, and I washumming along nicely and as
everything when you're doingwell, when you're in momentum.
(08:18):
I was thinking to myself,lockie, there's a next level,
you've got to do the next level.
It just seems natural.
The next level for me wasgetting into a business
partnership.
I was like if I get into abusiness partnership, I'm going
to be able to increase therevenue of the business, impact
more people and I'll probablyget to do a little bit less.
That sounds good.
And when that happened, therewas like a real.
(08:45):
There was a pivotal moment wherethe business partnership fell
apart and that self-doubt andthose negative thoughts and
limiting beliefs really got real.
There was a lot of validationaround why I sucked in business
and it pushed me to the pointwhere I didn't think I could be
in business anymore.
I didn't think I was cut outfor it and I was questioning hey
, if I can't build a businesspartnership, what am I doing?
(09:07):
Honestly, what am I doing?
You're a loser.
You can't communicate, youcan't manage.
People Quit.
Fortunately, I have anincredible support network.
Fortunately, a lot of mysupport network run businesses.
Some of them are in businesspartnerships, others aren't and
I was able to lean on them andpick their brains and ask their
(09:31):
thoughts and perspectives andthey all supported my decision
and I I think, to be fair, theyprobably would have supported me
regardless of what I did, butthey were able to make me feel
like what I was doing was theright decision and it helped me
walk out and continue businessand continue the podcast even,
which was extremely important tome.
(09:51):
So there's going to be plentyof moments in time where the
doubt or those negative thoughtsstart to seem and feel a lot
more real than maybe they are.
They're real in that moment but, as we know, with all things,
there are seasons of life andtime heals everything, and I
truly, truly believe that.
What else did I write abouthere that I thought was
(10:15):
important.
I guess if you're wondering howI got to a point where I
recognized or realized I couldshift my thoughts or I really
started to lean into that,there's a principle and I'm sure
you've probably heard about itand I have definitely spoken
about it on the podcast.
But when we talk about a growthmindset, there's a fixed
(10:35):
mindset, meaning you believethat everything in your life is
exactly the way it is good, bador indifferent.
You can't change it, that's it.
And then the flip side the bestside, I believe, is the growth
mindset, where life is what itis but you can learn, develop
and grow to become whoever youwant to be and to overcome all
(10:56):
adversity, challenges andproblems and make your life as
good as you possibly want it.
And if you were to see those ona piece of paper and if you're
listening to the podcast rightnow, jump on Google if you
haven't seen this diagram beforeand just type in diagram of
growth mindset versus fixedmindset and just have a look and
ask yourself which would youprefer or which would add more
(11:19):
value to your life?
And, once again, whichever oneyou choose which I'm hoping
would be the growth mindset youthen start embodying that, you
start keeping that in the backof your mind.
When you hit adversity, whatwould the growth mindset do?
When you have an argument in arelationship, what would the
growth mindset do?
Or when you hit a roadblock atwork, what would the growth
(11:39):
mindset do?
Or when you hit a roadblock atwork, what would the growth
mindset do?
And you start shifting theperspective and the lens that
you're viewing your life throughand, once again, when you view
things differently, youchallenge things and you're
ready to change, you're going tostart acting differently.
Different actions will producedifferent results Not always
better, but different and justbe mindful of that as you move
(12:01):
through that.
But how I got to that point ofunderstanding and really leaning
into that concept of growthversus fixed mindset was I was
at a point where I didn't feel Icould change.
I believed that I was amanipulative, lying loser,
essentially.
(12:22):
And when I started to acceptthat, it actually started to
feel good because I wasn'tletting myself down anymore.
There was a period of time Idon't you know I'm not going to
put a time frame on that butthere was a period of time where
I was making a lot of baddecisions and I would call this
now just being a teenager that Iwasn't living up to the
(12:45):
expectations that I had ofmyself, even though I hadn't
defined them.
I just thought I could be doingbetter.
I thought I was better andbecause of this I was not.
I was always letting myselfdown.
I was setting myself up forfailure because internally,
without defining it, I knew Icould be better, I could treat
people better and I expectedmore of myself, but on the
(13:05):
outside I wasn't delivering onthat.
So I was constantly trying butfalling short and it was so
painful.
Right, I viewed myself as sucha loser until there was I guess
it wasn't really a definitivemoment, but I just remember
getting to a point where I waslike this is me, this is who I
am.
Those benchmarks, thoseexpectations I have of myself,
(13:28):
that's not me, that's bullshit.
The moment that I accepted that, in the short term, it felt
amazing because I wasn't lettingmyself down anymore.
I just was who I was.
I got given the book the FourAgreements, which I've spoken
about a number of times, from aguy that I really admired and
(13:49):
respected.
Because I admired and respectedhim, I decided to read the book
.
When I read the book andstarted learning those four
agreements.
I think it was just likeperfect timing that I got given
that book.
I've read that book multipletimes since and it's quite
boring, but the principles arestill just as effective.
But because of the timing ofthat book I'd just given up on
(14:13):
setting expectations for myselfand striving for success that
they challenged me in a good way.
They challenged how I sawmyself, the fact that I'd given
up, and I got so excited thatthere was a book out there that
challenged me as well and hadthese steps and processes that
if I were to embody these Icould potentially get different
(14:33):
results.
And I just lent in and went allin on that.
And that was the beginning.
I became so hungry to seek outmore information like
self-development and personaldevelopment.
I became super enthusiastic,super excited about it and went
down this rabbit hole.
And I see people all the timegoing down this rabbit hole when
(14:54):
they have these little ahamoments or these little light
bulb moments that open theirmind and expands their mind just
a little, so that they havethis newfound self-belief to go
chase more and be more than theyoriginally thought they were.
And I hope you would find thatwithin yourself because that is
that great moment of realization, and if I were to give my
(15:16):
younger self some advice, itwould be trust your gut over
trying to fit in.
There are many moments thatdrove me away from who I truly
was meaning.
I wasn't trusting my gutbecause I was so focused.
I was so focused on wanting tofit in.
I didn't want to stand out, Ididn't want to be picked on, I
(15:38):
just wanted to fit in.
And that was the beginning ofthe conditioning to just do
things, even if they weren't tomy expectation or didn't align
with what I believed in.
And when you condition yourselfto do certain things, the
extremity of that could change,can evolve, just like me now,
(16:00):
with the 58 marathons in 58 days.
That may seem ridiculous tosome of you and that may seem
minuscule, but to me it's theperfect challenge for where I am
right now, because a couple ofyears ago I did 30 marathons and
prior to that I did a number of12-hour challenges, and you get
the picture.
I didn't just get off the couch.
I've conditioned myself to beable to do these challenges and
(16:21):
that's it, and so that's what Iwant you to think about.
So think about advice thatmaybe your younger self needed,
because I guarantee you theadvice that your younger self
needed is the advice that youneed right now.
More often than not and that'show I've found it to be so
fixating on the obstacle, asI've said, is not the key thing.
You're going to have thoselimiting beliefs and negative
(16:41):
beliefs, so you want to fixateon the opposite.
So, if you can be aware andcatch yourself thinking about
the limiting beliefs and thenegative emotions, challenge
them and then work on changingthem.
Give yourself an alternativeand start working out how you
can condition yourself to focuson that, that is going to be the
key.
So, if you need help with that,once again, I coach men in this
(17:04):
all the time.
We help it in the academy.
If you ask for help but justreach out to me on Instagram or
jump on to the man that can youcan fill out a form.
And if you want to work with mewhether it's one-on-one or
whether it's looking for ournext academy intake reach out
and let's just have aconversation.
If we feel we can work welltogether and we can move you in
the direction and you're ready,then let's do it.
(17:25):
If not, it's just a phone call.
It's not going to harm in anyway.
I just want to give you thatstep-by-step process once again.
The first one is write downthose negative thoughts or
limiting beliefs.
Secondly, list opposingpositive thoughts.
They must be positive.
Thirdly, find evidence for thepositive.
(17:46):
Go back through your life,think about moments in time and
repeat until it's automatic.
I'm still going.
I've been doing this for 10 plusyears and it's still not
automatic.
If I were to have a pendulum,it's probably 80% of the time.
There's still 20% I'm workingon.
Will I ever get there?
Don't know, but I'm much betteroff than I originally was.
(18:07):
So now I'm in a position whereany challenge that pops up in my
life or in my client's lives orthings that I know I need to
overcome, I'm feeling verycertain about it.
Whether I have the skill set orthe things right in front of me
, the resources right in frontof me, to be able to do that
right now, or I know that it canbe learned and it can be
(18:28):
conquered.
That is a really powerfulmindset to come from.
That is the growth mindset.
So, as I mentioned, with theruns, we've built an incredible
team and we're still looking fora couple more sponsors.
So if you know of any businessesthat would love to get behind
something like this.
Make sure you reach out to me.
We are going to be raising over$100,000 for mental health.
(18:51):
It's a super important causeand something close to my heart
from my own experiences,family's experiences and people
who are listening heart.
From my own experiences,family's experiences and people
who are listening to this show'sexperiences, because we all
have mental health and somepeople live on the positive side
, other people live in thenegative side and some of us
sort of swing between the both,like I do.
So it's good to have awareness,it's good to have conversations
(19:13):
and it's good to have peoplesharing their stories around
this and then also donating cashto the frontline workers who
are working in mental healthevery single day.
So my name is Lachlan Stewart.
Once again, if you got valuefrom this episode, please share
it.
If you feel you would get valuefrom working with me, reach out
to me.
But, as always, do somethingtoday to be better for tomorrow.
How to Stop Limiting Beliefs from Holding
you Back.
This week I wanted to drop asolo episode on this because
it's something that I'mexperiencing a lot going through
the 58 marathons in 58 daysacross 58 states, not just the
training but the building ourteam out, getting the logistics
sorted and then thinking aboutmy role within all of that and
(00:22):
it's something that is daunting.
It really is daunting.
But then when I catch myselfand I'm aware of those negative
thoughts or those limitingthoughts, I'm able to think, hey
, this Lockie is just going torequire a different version of
you, a better version of you,the version of you that believes
you can achieve these things,the version of you that believes
(00:44):
you can build out that team.
And that's what I'm excited todive into and unpack today over
the next sort of 15 minutes,what I would love to quickly
just share as well.
For all of you who have takenthe time to follow the show, it
means a lot.
Once again, it's super helpfulbecause it allows sponsors and
other people that come on boardwith what we're doing and with
(01:06):
the man that can and the otherchallenges that I've got that
I'm building towards.
It allows them to see thatthere are people who are engaged
in this audience.
If you do keep coming back weekafter week and you're finding
value, yet you haven't hitsubscribe on YouTube or on
Spotify or Apple Podcasts orwherever you get your listening
from, please do it.
(01:27):
That would help me outmassively, so get started there.
So what I'd like to start withis an initial belief.
We all have some limitingbeliefs that we've adopted
within our life, whether it'sfrom experience and we've just
held on to it and haven'tallowed ourselves to move
forward, or there's beliefs thatwe've had, I guess, pressed
(01:49):
upon us from our family, fromour environment or even from the
schooling system that we grewup in.
Now, a big one that I had thatI wanted to talk about.
Actually, you know what?
I've written a newsletter here,but I'm just going to talk
about the 58 Marathon.
So one of the initial beliefsthat I had around the marathon
(02:11):
was I can't walk away from mylife for two months to invest in
something that I really feel Iwould get a lot of benefit out
of in terms of life experience,sharing moments with people that
I meet along the way, and justthe physical challenge of it.
I felt that, hey, I'm mid-30snow, I'm married, I have a
(02:33):
mortgage.
It's not possible.
I have to stop.
I have to say no to thoseexciting things that I want to
do, because I've gotresponsibilities, what I was
very fortunate that I caughtmyself in and I have great
people within my life that wereable to sort of just jump on
board straight away and back me.
There was not a moment ofhesitation and because I did
(02:56):
that, I started looking into itfurther.
And when I started looking intoit further, I was able to
recognize the limiting beliefsthat I'd put in place that were
potentially going to rob me of awildlife experience, something
that I just can't wait.
When I'm googling the routethat we're going on and I'm
looking at what it looks like inwinter and it's just so
(03:17):
picturesque, like snow-cappedmountains, montana, it's like
blizzard season.
So these things are happening.
I'm like man that's going to besuch as wild as it will be.
It's going to be beautiful andpicturesque and something that
I'll be able to talk about andreflect upon for the rest of my
life.
So when I started becomingaware of that, I was starting to
(03:38):
be able to work out how I couldshift that belief, because in
life, with all limiting beliefswhich we have, or with all
negative beliefs, which we allhave.
You can either choose to listento those and they will dictate
and determine the results thatyou gain from the outcomes or
the actions that you've taken.
(03:59):
And from my own experience andfrom people that I've worked
with I've worked with hundredsof men over the years if you
continue to listen to thenegative beliefs and the
limiting beliefs, your life'snot going to go in the direction
that you generally want,because it wants you to play
small, it wants you to stay safe.
You have also adopted a lot ofthose beliefs in a time where
(04:23):
you lacked a lot ofself-awareness and you believed
that things that people said toyou were true.
Like you're not good enough,you'll never amount to something
.
You'll never be able to make amillion dollars, whatever it may
be for you.
I'm sure you've got thelimiting beliefs in your mind,
but what I want you to do ifyou've got a pen and paper,
(04:46):
start writing down a couple oflimiting beliefs, okay, because
within all limiting beliefs orwithin all negative thoughts, we
have a heap of freaking momentsin life where we can find
evidence, we can validate that,and if you want to do that,
(05:06):
awesome.
But I challenge you with thatlist that you've written down,
to now flip the script.
So, for example, one that I hadhere is I can't build a
successful business.
Flipping that would be.
I am a successful businessowner or operator, or whatever
the word that you would like touse.
(05:26):
I cannot be in a loving,healthy, happy, passionate
relationship.
I am in a loving, healthy,happy, positive relationship.
Now I want to circle backaround.
So both of those.
When I was initially in themindset of the negative it was
(05:51):
my soul belief I found it reallywoo-woo and almost challenging
to flip the script, much likeI'm telling you to do right now.
I just thought, lockie, youcan't just say things and they
happen, but I've gritten badwith it anyway, and over time,
because I was starting to focuson this is who I am.
I was shifting my identity, Istarted acting differently, I
(06:13):
started behaving differently andconducting myself differently,
which led to different results.
And, over time, those limitingbeliefs that I was shifting to
the positive ones were startingto become and feel more real.
And so I urge you, or I reallywant you, to just go.
Hey, look, as much as thisfeels batshit crazy or this
(06:35):
feels woo-woo, I'm going totrust you here.
I'm going to convert my limitingbelief or my negative thoughts
into a positive thought and I'mgoing to run with that.
I'm going to keep being awareof when I'm allowing the
negative thought or the limitingbeliefs to jump into my mind
and I'm going to shift it everytime.
I'm going to shift it everytime, I'm going to challenge it
(06:55):
every time and when you startchallenging it, right?
Yes, as I said, you've gotplenty of evidence to back up
why maybe you wouldn't be a goodbusiness owner or why you
couldn't be in a passionate,loving relationship.
I had that as well.
But you're going to startfinding more evidence around why
you can and why you are,because you find what you're
(07:15):
looking for.
And if what you're tellingyourself is negative, you're
going to find more of that.
But if what you're tellingyourself is positive, you're
also going to find more of that.
And doesn't that just make sense?
Even if it were woo-woo, evenif it were complete hocus-pocus,
wouldn't it make sense ifthat's going to make you feel
(07:37):
better and move you towardsbetter results?
Because I know it's not woo-woo, I know it's not BS.
It truly works.
And look, I'm not perfect withit.
I still have plenty of crappythoughts floating around in my
head.
The thing is, I'm aware of it,I challenge it and I work on
changing it.
I use my actions to change itwhen I challenge it.
(07:58):
That's what I'm encouraging youto do, because the one that I
wrote about here in thenewsletter this week was I can't
build a successful business.
I'd had eight years in businessand I was humming along nicely
and as everything when you'redoing well, when you're in
momentum, you go look, and I washumming along nicely and as
everything when you're doingwell, when you're in momentum.
(08:18):
I was thinking to myself,lockie, there's a next level,
you've got to do the next level.
It just seems natural.
The next level for me wasgetting into a business
partnership.
I was like if I get into abusiness partnership, I'm going
to be able to increase therevenue of the business, impact
more people and I'll probablyget to do a little bit less.
That sounds good.
And when that happened, therewas like a real.
(08:45):
There was a pivotal moment wherethe business partnership fell
apart and that self-doubt andthose negative thoughts and
limiting beliefs really got real.
There was a lot of validationaround why I sucked in business
and it pushed me to the pointwhere I didn't think I could be
in business anymore.
I didn't think I was cut outfor it and I was questioning hey
, if I can't build a businesspartnership, what am I doing?
(09:07):
Honestly, what am I doing?
You're a loser.
You can't communicate, youcan't manage.
People Quit.
Fortunately, I have anincredible support network.
Fortunately, a lot of mysupport network run businesses.
Some of them are in businesspartnerships, others aren't and
I was able to lean on them andpick their brains and ask their
(09:31):
thoughts and perspectives andthey all supported my decision
and I I think, to be fair, theyprobably would have supported me
regardless of what I did, butthey were able to make me feel
like what I was doing was theright decision and it helped me
walk out and continue businessand continue the podcast even,
which was extremely important tome.
(09:51):
So there's going to be plentyof moments in time where the
doubt or those negative thoughtsstart to seem and feel a lot
more real than maybe they are.
They're real in that moment but, as we know, with all things,
there are seasons of life andtime heals everything, and I
truly, truly believe that.
What else did I write abouthere that I thought was
(10:15):
important.
I guess if you're wondering howI got to a point where I
recognized or realized I couldshift my thoughts or I really
started to lean into that,there's a principle and I'm sure
you've probably heard about itand I have definitely spoken
about it on the podcast.
But when we talk about a growthmindset, there's a fixed
(10:35):
mindset, meaning you believethat everything in your life is
exactly the way it is good, bador indifferent.
You can't change it, that's it.
And then the flip side the bestside, I believe, is the growth
mindset, where life is what itis but you can learn, develop
and grow to become whoever youwant to be and to overcome all
(10:56):
adversity, challenges andproblems and make your life as
good as you possibly want it.
And if you were to see those ona piece of paper and if you're
listening to the podcast rightnow, jump on Google if you
haven't seen this diagram beforeand just type in diagram of
growth mindset versus fixedmindset and just have a look and
ask yourself which would youprefer or which would add more
(11:19):
value to your life?
And, once again, whichever oneyou choose which I'm hoping
would be the growth mindset youthen start embodying that, you
start keeping that in the backof your mind.
When you hit adversity, whatwould the growth mindset do?
When you have an argument in arelationship, what would the
growth mindset do?
Or when you hit a roadblock atwork, what would the growth
(11:39):
mindset do?
Or when you hit a roadblock atwork, what would the growth
mindset do?
And you start shifting theperspective and the lens that
you're viewing your life throughand, once again, when you view
things differently, youchallenge things and you're
ready to change, you're going tostart acting differently.
Different actions will producedifferent results Not always
better, but different and justbe mindful of that as you move
(12:01):
through that.
But how I got to that point ofunderstanding and really leaning
into that concept of growthversus fixed mindset was I was
at a point where I didn't feel Icould change.
I believed that I was amanipulative, lying loser,
essentially.
(12:22):
And when I started to acceptthat, it actually started to
feel good because I wasn'tletting myself down anymore.
There was a period of time Idon't you know I'm not going to
put a time frame on that butthere was a period of time where
I was making a lot of baddecisions and I would call this
now just being a teenager that Iwasn't living up to the
(12:45):
expectations that I had ofmyself, even though I hadn't
defined them.
I just thought I could be doingbetter.
I thought I was better andbecause of this I was not.
I was always letting myselfdown.
I was setting myself up forfailure because internally,
without defining it, I knew Icould be better, I could treat
people better and I expectedmore of myself, but on the
(13:05):
outside I wasn't delivering onthat.
So I was constantly trying butfalling short and it was so
painful.
Right, I viewed myself as sucha loser until there was I guess
it wasn't really a definitivemoment, but I just remember
getting to a point where I waslike this is me, this is who I
am.
Those benchmarks, thoseexpectations I have of myself,
(13:28):
that's not me, that's bullshit.
The moment that I accepted that, in the short term, it felt
amazing because I wasn't lettingmyself down anymore.
I just was who I was.
I got given the book the FourAgreements, which I've spoken
about a number of times, from aguy that I really admired and
(13:49):
respected.
Because I admired and respectedhim, I decided to read the book
.
When I read the book andstarted learning those four
agreements.
I think it was just likeperfect timing that I got given
that book.
I've read that book multipletimes since and it's quite
boring, but the principles arestill just as effective.
But because of the timing ofthat book I'd just given up on
(14:13):
setting expectations for myselfand striving for success that
they challenged me in a good way.
They challenged how I sawmyself, the fact that I'd given
up, and I got so excited thatthere was a book out there that
challenged me as well and hadthese steps and processes that
if I were to embody these Icould potentially get different
(14:33):
results.
And I just lent in and went allin on that.
And that was the beginning.
I became so hungry to seek outmore information like
self-development and personaldevelopment.
I became super enthusiastic,super excited about it and went
down this rabbit hole.
And I see people all the timegoing down this rabbit hole when
(14:54):
they have these little ahamoments or these little light
bulb moments that open theirmind and expands their mind just
a little, so that they havethis newfound self-belief to go
chase more and be more than theyoriginally thought they were.
And I hope you would find thatwithin yourself because that is
that great moment of realization, and if I were to give my
(15:16):
younger self some advice, itwould be trust your gut over
trying to fit in.
There are many moments thatdrove me away from who I truly
was meaning.
I wasn't trusting my gutbecause I was so focused.
I was so focused on wanting tofit in.
I didn't want to stand out, Ididn't want to be picked on, I
(15:38):
just wanted to fit in.
And that was the beginning ofthe conditioning to just do
things, even if they weren't tomy expectation or didn't align
with what I believed in.
And when you condition yourselfto do certain things, the
extremity of that could change,can evolve, just like me now,
(16:00):
with the 58 marathons in 58 days.
That may seem ridiculous tosome of you and that may seem
minuscule, but to me it's theperfect challenge for where I am
right now, because a couple ofyears ago I did 30 marathons and
prior to that I did a number of12-hour challenges, and you get
the picture.
I didn't just get off the couch.
I've conditioned myself to beable to do these challenges and
(16:21):
that's it, and so that's what Iwant you to think about.
So think about advice thatmaybe your younger self needed,
because I guarantee you theadvice that your younger self
needed is the advice that youneed right now.
More often than not and that'show I've found it to be so
fixating on the obstacle, asI've said, is not the key thing.
You're going to have thoselimiting beliefs and negative
(16:41):
beliefs, so you want to fixateon the opposite.
So, if you can be aware andcatch yourself thinking about
the limiting beliefs and thenegative emotions, challenge
them and then work on changingthem.
Give yourself an alternativeand start working out how you
can condition yourself to focuson that, that is going to be the
key.
So, if you need help with that,once again, I coach men in this
(17:04):
all the time.
We help it in the academy.
If you ask for help but justreach out to me on Instagram or
jump on to the man that can youcan fill out a form.
And if you want to work with mewhether it's one-on-one or
whether it's looking for ournext academy intake reach out
and let's just have aconversation.
If we feel we can work welltogether and we can move you in
the direction and you're ready,then let's do it.
(17:25):
If not, it's just a phone call.
It's not going to harm in anyway.
I just want to give you thatstep-by-step process once again.
The first one is write downthose negative thoughts or
limiting beliefs.
Secondly, list opposingpositive thoughts.
They must be positive.
Thirdly, find evidence for thepositive.
(17:46):
Go back through your life,think about moments in time and
repeat until it's automatic.
I'm still going.
I've been doing this for 10 plusyears and it's still not
automatic.
If I were to have a pendulum,it's probably 80% of the time.
There's still 20% I'm workingon.
Will I ever get there?
Don't know, but I'm much betteroff than I originally was.
(18:07):
So now I'm in a position whereany challenge that pops up in my
life or in my client's lives orthings that I know I need to
overcome, I'm feeling verycertain about it.
Whether I have the skill set orthe things right in front of me
, the resources right in frontof me, to be able to do that
right now, or I know that it canbe learned and it can be
(18:28):
conquered.
That is a really powerfulmindset to come from.
That is the growth mindset.
So, as I mentioned, with theruns, we've built an incredible
team and we're still looking fora couple more sponsors.
So if you know of any businessesthat would love to get behind
something like this.
Make sure you reach out to me.
We are going to be raising over$100,000 for mental health.
(18:51):
It's a super important causeand something close to my heart
from my own experiences,family's experiences and people
who are listening heart.
From my own experiences,family's experiences and people
who are listening to this show'sexperiences, because we all
have mental health and somepeople live on the positive side
, other people live in thenegative side and some of us
sort of swing between the both,like I do.
So it's good to have awareness,it's good to have conversations
(19:13):
and it's good to have peoplesharing their stories around
this and then also donating cashto the frontline workers who
are working in mental healthevery single day.
So my name is Lachlan Stewart.
Once again, if you got valuefrom this episode, please share
it.
If you feel you would get valuefrom working with me, reach out
to me.
But, as always, do somethingtoday to be better for tomorrow.
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