November 2, 2025 • 18 mins
Most men stop leading themselves the moment life stops giving instructions. School teaches you to follow rules, not lead your life. In this episode, Lachlan Stuart breaks down the five core skills that make a man worth following: self-awareness, emotional regulation, communication clarity, courageous confidence, and decisive problem solving.
You’ll learn how to lead yourself with calm, integrity, and direction — at home, at work, and within.
The Man That Can Project helps men grow from the inside out, strong in body, calm in mind, clear in purpose, confident in life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome back to the Man the Can Project.
(00:02):
Thank you guys for returning.
And if you're tuning in for thefirst time, my name's Lachlan
Stewart.
I'm a life coach and Ispecialize in helping men grow
from the inside out so that theycan be strong in their body,
calm in their mind, clear intheir purpose, and confident in
their life.
And it's something that I've hadgreat success with over the last
almost decade.
And that's one thing before wedive into today's episode, I
(00:25):
just want to start giving a fewmore updates on where I'm at for
two reasons.
One, I know there are a numberof you who tune into the podcast
because you follow social media,and on social media, you don't
necessarily always get to givethe depth to what's going on in
life, and there's plenty oflessons that I'm constantly
learning.
(00:46):
And secondly, when I go back andlisten to these in the years to
come, I want to know what wasgoing on in my life.
Um, so it's almost like a littlejournal, but uh be short and
sharp.
But just before we do, I want toshare what we're gonna go
through in today's episode.
Uh, the main part is gonna bearound the five skills that make
a man worth following.
(01:06):
You may be listening to thisbecause you want to lead better
in life, not only uh in yourorganizations, in your family,
but yourself.
You want clarity around whatdirection you want to move in
life, and we're gonna go throughthat today.
So make sure you stick around.
Quick update on what's going onin my life.
My wife is 23 weeks pregnant,which I'm very excited about.
(01:26):
There's a lot of conversationsI'm having with people.
Some of you are messaging me onsocial media and just giving me
insights, things to preparetowards.
When we have a kid, I was on apodcast yesterday, and the lady
asked me, like, what are youmost excited about?
And I'm genuinely pumped tobecome a dad.
I have been indirectly buildingtowards this for almost a decade
(01:51):
because I believed that the manthat I wanted to become would be
a great father, and that meantthat I would be honest, it meant
that I would be in a position toprovide, I would set a life up
that I'm grateful to live, Iwould have an awesome
understanding of my emotions sothat I could be in control when
the times get tough.
And I genuinely believe I'm inthat position.
So I'm very excited to have akid and move into that next
(02:13):
season of my life.
So if you're already there, feelfree to message me some of those
tips.
Uh if you're in a position whereyou're about to become a dad,
well, how freaking exciting forall of us! Very, very excited
for that.
In terms of like the businessfront, where am I at?
I set a goal to do 25 keynotesthis year, more so in the last
(02:33):
three months, and I have knockedthat out of the park.
So I'm very grateful for that.
I have learned a lot.
I have been able to stand infront of thousands of people and
share stories around resilience,around building a life that you
love and proving to yourselfthat you're capable of more than
you think.
And I'm grateful that I get theopportunity to do that.
And I know 2026 is gonna be evenbigger on that front.
(02:55):
So I'm already starting to plan.
And I want to ask you have youstarted to think about what you
want your 2025 to look like,both personally and
professionally?
Because the more time you cangive yourself to plan, the
greater likelihood that you'llunderstand what it's gonna
really take.
You can have the conversations,you can allocate the time in
order to achieve these outcomes.
(03:16):
And that's um one thing that Ibelieve is important.
You know, look, it's the 30th ofOctober today as I'm filming
this, and I'm already startingto plan towards next year.
Doesn't mean I'm giving up onthis year.
I've still got plenty to go.
I think I've got three keynotesleft.
Uh, my wait list for one-to-onecoaching is constantly growing,
which I'm grateful for.
And just I guess an insight ifyou are someone who's thinking
(03:40):
about coaching, one thing that Iknow needs to happen.
If you've taken the seven domainscorecard, the purpose of that
is to help you audit the domainsof your life and to bring some
awareness around where you'redrifting and where you're
leading.
Right?
When you're aware of that, youcan then take stock around what
would you need to improve nextyear to improve your quality of
(04:00):
life.
So if you haven't done that, dothat.
It's free, it'll take you aboutthree minutes and it'll give you
a direct bit of feedback.
It'll give you a report and alsoshow you how you can improve
some of those areas.
Now, that's highly importantbecause if you ever feel you're
in need of coaching with me,that is going to be the first
thing that I always recommendyou do anyway.
(04:22):
And for most people, that'll bemore than enough to get you
started on setting some goalsfor 2026.
Off the back of that, whathappens next is the seven
domains really shows us whereyou're at, and the become method
is what allows you to grow intothe man that you need to become
to achieve the life that youwant to live.
(04:43):
And I'm super excited to beworking with men to helping them
become strong in their body,calm in their mind, clear in
their purpose, and confident intheir life, right?
That's um one of the bestthings, and it's a 16-week
program one-to-one, which to behonest, next year I'm only
working with a maximum of 10people for the entire year
because it takes a lot of mymental energy.
(05:04):
I travel a lot, I'm also goingto be a father, so there's not a
lot of opportunity there.
But stay tuned because we willhave more group stuff next year
as well, which I'm excitedabout, and I'll share that
later.
From a training front, trainingis going well.
Obviously, this year I am supergrateful for a lot of the goals
that I ticked off.
Still got one that's burning atme, which is breaking 17 minutes
(05:25):
for a 5k.
I have not quite got that, butwe did the sub three hour
marathon.
Obviously, the 58 marathons, Iran 60 in total this year, the
sub-130 half marathon.
So there's a lot of goals thathave been falling, and for the
rest of the year, I just want toget my strength up.
You know, I use my whoop tounderstand how my overall health
rating is.
(05:46):
And I'm actually going to get mybrother-in-law on the pod in a
couple of weeks.
We're going to talk about thatand what we track and why it's
important for us.
For those who don't track data,uh, it will just give you an
insight into why it's importantto me.
And, you know, I make my clientsstart tracking those things as
well for long-term health.
But that's a bit of an update.
For now, let's get into theepisode.
The five skills that make a manworth following.
(06:09):
It's an interesting topic andone that I really wanted to dive
into.
I've been speaking to a lot ofmen who are feeling stuck and
they feel like they don't knowwhat's next.
They're winning on paper, butthere's still a sense of
unfulfillment.
And to me, that really comesback to how do we lead
ourselves?
How do we make ourselves theindividual that would be worth
(06:30):
following?
Because if we can do that, we'regoing to have direction, we're
going to have a sense ofpurpose.
Okay.
And in the process, we're goingto generally lead and inspire
other people.
And I do believe that's whyyou're listening to this show.
So my name's Loughlin Stewart,and today we're going to dive
into some fun stuff.
Most men think leadership isabout control, about being the
loudest, the strongest, and theone who is always in control and
(06:53):
the one who is always right.
But that's not leadership.
A great man doesn't force peopleto follow him.
He earns it.
He creates certainty.
His presence says, I've gotmyself.
You can trust my direction.
That's what real influence is.
It's not what you say, but it iswho you are when no one is
watching.
I'm Lachlan Stewart and I am thefounder of the Man That Can
(07:14):
project.
I help men grow from the insideout by becoming strong in your
body, calm in your mind, clearin your purpose, and confident
in your life.
And in this video, I want totalk to you about the five
skills that make a man worthfollowing.
Because when you lead yourselfwell, your partner, your kids,
your colleagues, and your mates,they feel it.
(07:34):
You know what I've noticed?
Most men stop leading themselvessomewhere between finishing
school and being challenged withtheir first real problem.
School teaches you to follow theinstructions, tick the boxes,
get the grades, do what'sexpected, but no one gives you
the playbook for your marriage.
No one marks your effort whenyou're trying to show up for
your partner after a long weekat work and when you're trying
(07:57):
to stay calm with your kids,even though you're wrecked.
And for years, this was me.
Well, minus the kid part.
I've only got a kid on the waynow.
But as a in my marriage, therewere things that I was
challenged with.
I wasn't failing, I just wasn'tgrowing.
I was doing what was expected.
Keep your head down, don't rockthe boat, keep moving forward.
Then life stopped giving meinstruction.
(08:18):
There were no teachers, nogrades, just consequences.
That's when I'd realized I'velearned how to follow rules but
not lead myself.
And that's the gap that holds somany men back.
We confuse doing enough withbecoming capable.
So let's talk about the fiveskills that actually build
leadership from the inside out.
These aren't tactics, they'rereal skills that you can build,
(08:40):
and they'll change how you showup in your relationships, your
home, your life.
First part is self-awareness.
What story am I telling myself?
Everything starts with a storyrunning in your head.
Maybe you tell yourself I'm onlyvaluable when I'm achieving.
I know I did that for so long,almost far too long.
So you throw yourself into work,you train harder, you
overcompensate, but deep downyou feel like you're never
(09:02):
enough.
Or maybe your story is I'm notgood at expressing emotion.
So you shut down in hardconversations, you pull away
when your partner needsconnection.
Those stories drive youreveryday behavior.
So here's a practical cue.
Before you act, pause and askwhat story is running the show
right now?
Is it helping me or is ithurting me?
And I call this the sliding doormoment or the fork in the road
(09:25):
because every choice we make ismoving us towards the man we
want to become, the leader wewant to become, the father we
want to become, or moving awayfrom that.
If you can change the story, youcan change the behavior.
The second one is emotionalregulation.
Calm is power.
Most guys mistake control forvolume.
They think confidence meansraising their voice, standing
(09:46):
taller, being in charge, butcalm is power.
It's when your kid's losing it,your partner's upset, or the
day's gone sideway and you staysteady.
You don't match chaos, youanchor it.
There's research showing that aleader's emotional state
directly affects everyone aroundthem.
And it's true at home too.
If you're calm, your familyfeels safe.
(10:07):
If you're tense, they feel thattoo.
Next time you feel your chesttighten or your tone rising,
slow your exhale and drop yourshoulders and ask yourself, what
does this moment need from me?
You'll find clarity lives on theother side of calm.
Number three, community clarity.
Communication to me is one ofthe most important skills that
you can ever develop.
(10:28):
And the way that I have improvedit just quickly is writing.
Writing is essentially yourthoughts slowed down.
And when you're writing, you'restarting to make sense of it,
which helps with communityclarity.
But this is where the man whocommands respect.
So ever told your partner I'lltry to be better or I'll do more
around the house and thenrealize later that neither of
you actually knew what youmeant.
(10:49):
Clarity builds trust and itmakes things tangible and it
allows you to make a plan andact.
So when you're clear, peoplerelax.
They know what to expect.
So instead of vague promises,try this.
Hey, I'll take care of dinnertwice a week, Tuesdays and
Thursdays.
This gives you some breathingroom.
That's specific.
It's simple and it showsintegrity.
(11:10):
At work, it might sound like canyou please send me the report by
3 p.m.
with updated numbers on X and Y.
Clear language builds confidencein you and in others.
The fourth is courageousconfidence.
So strength with humility.
Confidence without humilitybecomes arrogance.
And it's something that usAustralians really get nervous
around.
We think about tall poppysyndrome.
(11:32):
And many of us shrink ourselvesbecause we don't want people to
call us arrogant.
But if you can have confidencewith humility, that is where the
winning comes.
So humility without confidencebecomes a weakness.
It really does.
You see a lot of these nice guysand they get pushed over because
they don't have confidence toshare what they believe in or to
stand up for what they believeis right.
(11:53):
You need both humility andconfidence.
See, courage is telling thetruth even if it risks approval,
even if it risks approval.
Like saying, I'm not okay rightnow or I made a mistake.
Humility is owning that,learning from it, and still
showing up.
I see a lot of men either pufftheir chest or disappear
completely.
(12:14):
But real strength is standingthere steady, open, willing to
be wrong, but not wavering fromyour values.
That's the kind of man thatpeople trust.
The fifth one is decisiveproblem solving.
Problem solving is somethingthat many men steer clear of.
We struggle to make decisionsand we don't like to solve
problems because we haven'treally been taught to solve
(12:36):
problems.
And this is why it's such animportant skill to build and it
will help you build momentummassively.
A good man tries, a great mandecides.
He doesn't overthink things anddoes not avoid the tough calls.
He moves.
And I'm sure you're thinking ofa mate right now or someone that
you believe leads really well intheir life.
If your relationship feels flat,don't just talk about spending
(12:56):
more time together.
Decide Friday night, no phones,dinner at home, just us.
Right?
You're starting to makedecisions, you're starting to
make action.
And if your health's beensliding, don't plan the perfect
routine.
Pick one habit today, walk afterwork, no negotiation.
Progress beats perfection everytime.
And the key is to just getmoving, start creating that
(13:18):
change instantly becausemomentum will build your
confidence.
So set a small decision clock.
What can I decide on by 4 p.m.
today?
Make the call, move, learn,adjust.
That's leadership in motion.
Think of a compass.
It doesn't yell directions.
Imagine if it did, that'd bemaybe some like cartoon or
something like that.
It doesn't demand to be followedeither.
(13:38):
It just points the true northconsistently.
That's what self-leadership is.
You don't need to shout,perform, or prove.
You just need to be steady withyour words and with your aligned
actions.
I remember with the 58marathons, I was in Mexico for
Christmas, and people were stillasking, like, do you think you
can do this?
And they were really almosttrying to get me to prove
myself.
(13:59):
I didn't need to big notemyself.
I didn't feel the need to tryand even convince them that I
could do it because I knew whatmy goal was.
I knew, had known the work thatI'd put in, and I believed that
I was going to achieve it.
So I was just focused on mywords and aligning the actions
that had to come that I hadcontrol over in order to deliver
the outcome.
So make sure that you're steady.
People will feel it, yourpartner will feel it, your kids
(14:20):
will see it.
That's trust and that'sinfluence.
Do what you said you do andcarry yourself like a man who
will continue doing it.
That's the kind of man thatothers would follow.
So here's what I want you to dothis week.
I don't want these podcasts justto be about getting your mind
thinking.
I want to give you someactionable steps so you can
start improving your life sothat one day you get to a
position where you're so proudof the man that you become and
(14:42):
you're like, man, I'm so gladthat I listened to Lockheed's
podcast.
Maybe give it a five-star ratingif you like that.
But here's what we're gonna dothis week we're gonna run a
daily audit.
So, what story drove my actionstoday?
Secondly, practice calm underpressure.
Three slow breaths before youspeak.
So and just repeat that threetimes.
(15:04):
You'll notice how instantly youjust feel calm.
Thirdly, we want to make oneclean request.
So be clear, not vague.
Then we want to say thecourageous sentence, right?
What truth have you beenavoiding?
Say it.
Then, fifth, we want to make onesmall decision.
Choose action over overthinking.
So if you notice you'reruminating, if you notice your
(15:25):
mind is racing, ask yourselffrom all other things that are
going on in my mind, what is onedecision I could make to make
progress towards a goal that I'mworking on?
You don't need to be charismaticto be a great leader.
I do not consider myselfcharismatic, and may I guess the
jury's out on whether I'm agreat leader, but I do feel that
I lead myself well and I lead myfamily well.
You just need to be consistent.
(15:46):
Your calm, your clarity, andyour consistency, that's what
will earn trust.
And if you want to get a clearread on where you're thriving
and where you're drifting, takethe seven domain scorecards.
You can either head over to mywebsite, themanatcamproject.com
and see it on the home page, oryou can click the link below and
you'll be able to get that.
It takes literally three minutesand it will give you instant
(16:09):
feedback on the areas of yourlife, plus a few little tips
that you can take in order tostart improving those domains of
your life so you can movetowards 2026 with a little bit
of momentum.
Because when you lead yourselfwell, you will become a man
worth following.
My name's Lachlan Stewart, andI'm the founder of the Man That
Can Project.
If you enjoyed this episode,make sure you share below in the
(16:30):
comments what you enjoyed.
Leave it a rating, share it onyour social media, and we will
see you back here next week.
Welcome back to the Man the Can Project.
(00:02):
Thank you guys for returning.
And if you're tuning in for thefirst time, my name's Lachlan
Stewart.
I'm a life coach and Ispecialize in helping men grow
from the inside out so that theycan be strong in their body,
calm in their mind, clear intheir purpose, and confident in
their life.
And it's something that I've hadgreat success with over the last
almost decade.
And that's one thing before wedive into today's episode, I
(00:25):
just want to start giving a fewmore updates on where I'm at for
two reasons.
One, I know there are a numberof you who tune into the podcast
because you follow social media,and on social media, you don't
necessarily always get to givethe depth to what's going on in
life, and there's plenty oflessons that I'm constantly
learning.
(00:46):
And secondly, when I go back andlisten to these in the years to
come, I want to know what wasgoing on in my life.
Um, so it's almost like a littlejournal, but uh be short and
sharp.
But just before we do, I want toshare what we're gonna go
through in today's episode.
Uh, the main part is gonna bearound the five skills that make
a man worth following.
(01:06):
You may be listening to thisbecause you want to lead better
in life, not only uh in yourorganizations, in your family,
but yourself.
You want clarity around whatdirection you want to move in
life, and we're gonna go throughthat today.
So make sure you stick around.
Quick update on what's going onin my life.
My wife is 23 weeks pregnant,which I'm very excited about.
(01:26):
There's a lot of conversationsI'm having with people.
Some of you are messaging me onsocial media and just giving me
insights, things to preparetowards.
When we have a kid, I was on apodcast yesterday, and the lady
asked me, like, what are youmost excited about?
And I'm genuinely pumped tobecome a dad.
I have been indirectly buildingtowards this for almost a decade
(01:51):
because I believed that the manthat I wanted to become would be
a great father, and that meantthat I would be honest, it meant
that I would be in a position toprovide, I would set a life up
that I'm grateful to live, Iwould have an awesome
understanding of my emotions sothat I could be in control when
the times get tough.
And I genuinely believe I'm inthat position.
So I'm very excited to have akid and move into that next
(02:13):
season of my life.
So if you're already there, feelfree to message me some of those
tips.
Uh if you're in a position whereyou're about to become a dad,
well, how freaking exciting forall of us! Very, very excited
for that.
In terms of like the businessfront, where am I at?
I set a goal to do 25 keynotesthis year, more so in the last
(02:33):
three months, and I have knockedthat out of the park.
So I'm very grateful for that.
I have learned a lot.
I have been able to stand infront of thousands of people and
share stories around resilience,around building a life that you
love and proving to yourselfthat you're capable of more than
you think.
And I'm grateful that I get theopportunity to do that.
And I know 2026 is gonna be evenbigger on that front.
(02:55):
So I'm already starting to plan.
And I want to ask you have youstarted to think about what you
want your 2025 to look like,both personally and
professionally?
Because the more time you cangive yourself to plan, the
greater likelihood that you'llunderstand what it's gonna
really take.
You can have the conversations,you can allocate the time in
order to achieve these outcomes.
(03:16):
And that's um one thing that Ibelieve is important.
You know, look, it's the 30th ofOctober today as I'm filming
this, and I'm already startingto plan towards next year.
Doesn't mean I'm giving up onthis year.
I've still got plenty to go.
I think I've got three keynotesleft.
Uh, my wait list for one-to-onecoaching is constantly growing,
which I'm grateful for.
And just I guess an insight ifyou are someone who's thinking
(03:40):
about coaching, one thing that Iknow needs to happen.
If you've taken the seven domainscorecard, the purpose of that
is to help you audit the domainsof your life and to bring some
awareness around where you'redrifting and where you're
leading.
Right?
When you're aware of that, youcan then take stock around what
would you need to improve nextyear to improve your quality of
(04:00):
life.
So if you haven't done that, dothat.
It's free, it'll take you aboutthree minutes and it'll give you
a direct bit of feedback.
It'll give you a report and alsoshow you how you can improve
some of those areas.
Now, that's highly importantbecause if you ever feel you're
in need of coaching with me,that is going to be the first
thing that I always recommendyou do anyway.
(04:22):
And for most people, that'll bemore than enough to get you
started on setting some goalsfor 2026.
Off the back of that, whathappens next is the seven
domains really shows us whereyou're at, and the become method
is what allows you to grow intothe man that you need to become
to achieve the life that youwant to live.
(04:43):
And I'm super excited to beworking with men to helping them
become strong in their body,calm in their mind, clear in
their purpose, and confident intheir life, right?
That's um one of the bestthings, and it's a 16-week
program one-to-one, which to behonest, next year I'm only
working with a maximum of 10people for the entire year
because it takes a lot of mymental energy.
(05:04):
I travel a lot, I'm also goingto be a father, so there's not a
lot of opportunity there.
But stay tuned because we willhave more group stuff next year
as well, which I'm excitedabout, and I'll share that
later.
From a training front, trainingis going well.
Obviously, this year I am supergrateful for a lot of the goals
that I ticked off.
Still got one that's burning atme, which is breaking 17 minutes
(05:25):
for a 5k.
I have not quite got that, butwe did the sub three hour
marathon.
Obviously, the 58 marathons, Iran 60 in total this year, the
sub-130 half marathon.
So there's a lot of goals thathave been falling, and for the
rest of the year, I just want toget my strength up.
You know, I use my whoop tounderstand how my overall health
rating is.
(05:46):
And I'm actually going to get mybrother-in-law on the pod in a
couple of weeks.
We're going to talk about thatand what we track and why it's
important for us.
For those who don't track data,uh, it will just give you an
insight into why it's importantto me.
And, you know, I make my clientsstart tracking those things as
well for long-term health.
But that's a bit of an update.
For now, let's get into theepisode.
The five skills that make a manworth following.
(06:09):
It's an interesting topic andone that I really wanted to dive
into.
I've been speaking to a lot ofmen who are feeling stuck and
they feel like they don't knowwhat's next.
They're winning on paper, butthere's still a sense of
unfulfillment.
And to me, that really comesback to how do we lead
ourselves?
How do we make ourselves theindividual that would be worth
(06:30):
following?
Because if we can do that, we'regoing to have direction, we're
going to have a sense ofpurpose.
Okay.
And in the process, we're goingto generally lead and inspire
other people.
And I do believe that's whyyou're listening to this show.
So my name's Loughlin Stewart,and today we're going to dive
into some fun stuff.
Most men think leadership isabout control, about being the
loudest, the strongest, and theone who is always in control and
(06:53):
the one who is always right.
But that's not leadership.
A great man doesn't force peopleto follow him.
He earns it.
He creates certainty.
His presence says, I've gotmyself.
You can trust my direction.
That's what real influence is.
It's not what you say, but it iswho you are when no one is
watching.
I'm Lachlan Stewart and I am thefounder of the Man That Can
(07:14):
project.
I help men grow from the insideout by becoming strong in your
body, calm in your mind, clearin your purpose, and confident
in your life.
And in this video, I want totalk to you about the five
skills that make a man worthfollowing.
Because when you lead yourselfwell, your partner, your kids,
your colleagues, and your mates,they feel it.
(07:34):
You know what I've noticed?
Most men stop leading themselvessomewhere between finishing
school and being challenged withtheir first real problem.
School teaches you to follow theinstructions, tick the boxes,
get the grades, do what'sexpected, but no one gives you
the playbook for your marriage.
No one marks your effort whenyou're trying to show up for
your partner after a long weekat work and when you're trying
(07:57):
to stay calm with your kids,even though you're wrecked.
And for years, this was me.
Well, minus the kid part.
I've only got a kid on the waynow.
But as a in my marriage, therewere things that I was
challenged with.
I wasn't failing, I just wasn'tgrowing.
I was doing what was expected.
Keep your head down, don't rockthe boat, keep moving forward.
Then life stopped giving meinstruction.
(08:18):
There were no teachers, nogrades, just consequences.
That's when I'd realized I'velearned how to follow rules but
not lead myself.
And that's the gap that holds somany men back.
We confuse doing enough withbecoming capable.
So let's talk about the fiveskills that actually build
leadership from the inside out.
These aren't tactics, they'rereal skills that you can build,
(08:40):
and they'll change how you showup in your relationships, your
home, your life.
First part is self-awareness.
What story am I telling myself?
Everything starts with a storyrunning in your head.
Maybe you tell yourself I'm onlyvaluable when I'm achieving.
I know I did that for so long,almost far too long.
So you throw yourself into work,you train harder, you
overcompensate, but deep downyou feel like you're never
(09:02):
enough.
Or maybe your story is I'm notgood at expressing emotion.
So you shut down in hardconversations, you pull away
when your partner needsconnection.
Those stories drive youreveryday behavior.
So here's a practical cue.
Before you act, pause and askwhat story is running the show
right now?
Is it helping me or is ithurting me?
And I call this the sliding doormoment or the fork in the road
(09:25):
because every choice we make ismoving us towards the man we
want to become, the leader wewant to become, the father we
want to become, or moving awayfrom that.
If you can change the story, youcan change the behavior.
The second one is emotionalregulation.
Calm is power.
Most guys mistake control forvolume.
They think confidence meansraising their voice, standing
(09:46):
taller, being in charge, butcalm is power.
It's when your kid's losing it,your partner's upset, or the
day's gone sideway and you staysteady.
You don't match chaos, youanchor it.
There's research showing that aleader's emotional state
directly affects everyone aroundthem.
And it's true at home too.
If you're calm, your familyfeels safe.
(10:07):
If you're tense, they feel thattoo.
Next time you feel your chesttighten or your tone rising,
slow your exhale and drop yourshoulders and ask yourself, what
does this moment need from me?
You'll find clarity lives on theother side of calm.
Number three, community clarity.
Communication to me is one ofthe most important skills that
you can ever develop.
(10:28):
And the way that I have improvedit just quickly is writing.
Writing is essentially yourthoughts slowed down.
And when you're writing, you'restarting to make sense of it,
which helps with communityclarity.
But this is where the man whocommands respect.
So ever told your partner I'lltry to be better or I'll do more
around the house and thenrealize later that neither of
you actually knew what youmeant.
(10:49):
Clarity builds trust and itmakes things tangible and it
allows you to make a plan andact.
So when you're clear, peoplerelax.
They know what to expect.
So instead of vague promises,try this.
Hey, I'll take care of dinnertwice a week, Tuesdays and
Thursdays.
This gives you some breathingroom.
That's specific.
It's simple and it showsintegrity.
(11:10):
At work, it might sound like canyou please send me the report by
3 p.m.
with updated numbers on X and Y.
Clear language builds confidencein you and in others.
The fourth is courageousconfidence.
So strength with humility.
Confidence without humilitybecomes arrogance.
And it's something that usAustralians really get nervous
around.
We think about tall poppysyndrome.
(11:32):
And many of us shrink ourselvesbecause we don't want people to
call us arrogant.
But if you can have confidencewith humility, that is where the
winning comes.
So humility without confidencebecomes a weakness.
It really does.
You see a lot of these nice guysand they get pushed over because
they don't have confidence toshare what they believe in or to
stand up for what they believeis right.
(11:53):
You need both humility andconfidence.
See, courage is telling thetruth even if it risks approval,
even if it risks approval.
Like saying, I'm not okay rightnow or I made a mistake.
Humility is owning that,learning from it, and still
showing up.
I see a lot of men either pufftheir chest or disappear
completely.
(12:14):
But real strength is standingthere steady, open, willing to
be wrong, but not wavering fromyour values.
That's the kind of man thatpeople trust.
The fifth one is decisiveproblem solving.
Problem solving is somethingthat many men steer clear of.
We struggle to make decisionsand we don't like to solve
problems because we haven'treally been taught to solve
(12:36):
problems.
And this is why it's such animportant skill to build and it
will help you build momentummassively.
A good man tries, a great mandecides.
He doesn't overthink things anddoes not avoid the tough calls.
He moves.
And I'm sure you're thinking ofa mate right now or someone that
you believe leads really well intheir life.
If your relationship feels flat,don't just talk about spending
(12:56):
more time together.
Decide Friday night, no phones,dinner at home, just us.
Right?
You're starting to makedecisions, you're starting to
make action.
And if your health's beensliding, don't plan the perfect
routine.
Pick one habit today, walk afterwork, no negotiation.
Progress beats perfection everytime.
And the key is to just getmoving, start creating that
(13:18):
change instantly becausemomentum will build your
confidence.
So set a small decision clock.
What can I decide on by 4 p.m.
today?
Make the call, move, learn,adjust.
That's leadership in motion.
Think of a compass.
It doesn't yell directions.
Imagine if it did, that'd bemaybe some like cartoon or
something like that.
It doesn't demand to be followedeither.
(13:38):
It just points the true northconsistently.
That's what self-leadership is.
You don't need to shout,perform, or prove.
You just need to be steady withyour words and with your aligned
actions.
I remember with the 58marathons, I was in Mexico for
Christmas, and people were stillasking, like, do you think you
can do this?
And they were really almosttrying to get me to prove
myself.
(13:59):
I didn't need to big notemyself.
I didn't feel the need to tryand even convince them that I
could do it because I knew whatmy goal was.
I knew, had known the work thatI'd put in, and I believed that
I was going to achieve it.
So I was just focused on mywords and aligning the actions
that had to come that I hadcontrol over in order to deliver
the outcome.
So make sure that you're steady.
People will feel it, yourpartner will feel it, your kids
(14:20):
will see it.
That's trust and that'sinfluence.
Do what you said you do andcarry yourself like a man who
will continue doing it.
That's the kind of man thatothers would follow.
So here's what I want you to dothis week.
I don't want these podcasts justto be about getting your mind
thinking.
I want to give you someactionable steps so you can
start improving your life sothat one day you get to a
position where you're so proudof the man that you become and
(14:42):
you're like, man, I'm so gladthat I listened to Lockheed's
podcast.
Maybe give it a five-star ratingif you like that.
But here's what we're gonna dothis week we're gonna run a
daily audit.
So, what story drove my actionstoday?
Secondly, practice calm underpressure.
Three slow breaths before youspeak.
So and just repeat that threetimes.
(15:04):
You'll notice how instantly youjust feel calm.
Thirdly, we want to make oneclean request.
So be clear, not vague.
Then we want to say thecourageous sentence, right?
What truth have you beenavoiding?
Say it.
Then, fifth, we want to make onesmall decision.
Choose action over overthinking.
So if you notice you'reruminating, if you notice your
(15:25):
mind is racing, ask yourselffrom all other things that are
going on in my mind, what is onedecision I could make to make
progress towards a goal that I'mworking on?
You don't need to be charismaticto be a great leader.
I do not consider myselfcharismatic, and may I guess the
jury's out on whether I'm agreat leader, but I do feel that
I lead myself well and I lead myfamily well.
You just need to be consistent.
(15:46):
Your calm, your clarity, andyour consistency, that's what
will earn trust.
And if you want to get a clearread on where you're thriving
and where you're drifting, takethe seven domain scorecards.
You can either head over to mywebsite, themanatcamproject.com
and see it on the home page, oryou can click the link below and
you'll be able to get that.
It takes literally three minutesand it will give you instant
(16:09):
feedback on the areas of yourlife, plus a few little tips
that you can take in order tostart improving those domains of
your life so you can movetowards 2026 with a little bit
of momentum.
Because when you lead yourselfwell, you will become a man
worth following.
My name's Lachlan Stewart, andI'm the founder of the Man That
Can Project.
If you enjoyed this episode,make sure you share below in the
(16:30):
comments what you enjoyed.
Leave it a rating, share it onyour social media, and we will
see you back here next week.
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