November 13, 2024 • 22 mins
After years of living reactively and feeling stuck on autopilot, I decided it was time to take control and raise my personal standards. Join me as I share my transformative journey of running 58 marathons in 58 days across the U.S. and Australia, a testament to the power of setting ambitious goals. Through personal stories and insights, I invite you to reflect on your own path to a fulfilling life, and discover how tailoring lessons to fit your unique circumstances can lead to profound personal growth.
Imagine challenging your limiting beliefs and aligning your actions with the vision of a better self. In this episode, I reflect on the pivotal moments that helped me overcome self-doubt and navigate the challenges of maintaining new standards, including influences from supportive and skeptical peers alike. From a brief stint in network marketing to attending life-changing personal development events, each experience taught me the importance of actively choosing who I want to become and the ripple effect it can have on those around me.
Finally, patience and small, consistent steps emerge as key themes, as I recount my journey with alcohol and lifestyle changes. These incremental steps, through marathon training and podcasting, contribute to becoming the best version of oneself, impacting not just personal growth, but also those around us. For those keen to embark on their own journey of improvement, I'm excited to introduce the Strongman of Value Academy, an opportunity to dive deeper into these themes with exclusive insights and support. Ready to take actionable steps toward your own version of a good life? Let's get started.
Follow Lachlan:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lachlanstuart/
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@lachlanstuart91
Website: https://themanthatcanproject.com/
Newsletter: https://lachlan-stuart-tmtcp.ck.page/profile
Do Something Today To Be Better For Tomorrow
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lachlan Stuart (00:00):
Welcome to the man that Can with Lac.
Great to have you back for thereturning listeners.
For those of you who are tuningin for the first time, welcome.
What you can expect to learn onthese episodes are tools,
insights and personalexperiences that have helped me
build a life that I'm proud of.
Now, why is this beneficial toyou?
Every single one of us, asindividuals, have an idea of
(00:24):
what a good life could look likefor us.
We have goals, we have dreams,we have ambitions, and the
difference between obtainingthat or achieving that outcome
and where we are now is thejourney that we need to go on.
That journey is different foreveryone and I reflect quite
regularly on the journey thatI've been on, and I was only
(00:45):
saying to a client yesterday Isaid look, it's easy for me now
to point out what have been thekey things that have helped me
achieve the life that I now live, from a health perspective,
with my career and podcast, andwithin my marriage and
relationships and friendships.
However, if I were to give youthose as a framework and as a
(01:06):
piece of paper, your journeywould still be different to fill
those in, because it's thepersonal standards that you are
aware of that you decide youneed to have, that are going to
uphold that.
So what's really going onbetween your ears is what makes
this journey so unique, and so Ihope, by having the guests that
(01:28):
I have on the show, some thingsthat they say resonate with you
or really give you some ofthose aha moments that make you
go, that may be the thing that Ineed to do, or I can really
relate to what they were sayingor what they were feeling and
experiencing, and if I maybelean more into what they're
saying and embody what they do,that could be the path that I
(01:51):
need to go down in order toimprove my life.
Or, alternatively, with thesesolo episodes that are released
every Thursday, the tools andframeworks and insights that I
use, I hope that you go.
There's one or two things therethat really resonate with you,
that you want to look toimplement into your life.
Now, implementation doesn'tguarantee result because, as I
(02:12):
said, it's different for all ofus and there are a lot more
things that you could look tolearn.
So I want to give you anexample just before we dive into
today's podcast, which is goingto be around raising your
standards.
Okay, and why raising yourstandards is the best decision
that you'll ever make and one ofthe most important decisions.
But before we do, if I were tosay to you guys how I get into
(02:36):
shape, have the physique that Ihave is by training five days a
week.
Go, you would go.
Okay, if I'm just going totrain five days a week, I should
get the same results as Lockie.
But what you're not getting isa lot of the information that
you really need to gain, whichyou can gain through coaching or
you can gain through livedexperience, and it is what is
(02:58):
the specific or what are thespecific things that I'm doing
during those training sessionsand what am I also doing that
accompany great results in thosetraining sessions around or
throughout that 24-hour period,and that's where experience
comes.
So what I would love to give toyou today is to go hey, you're
(03:20):
learning a lot.
Please start implementingthings, but reflect on the
experiences and start tweakingthem to make them more personal
to what you're learning a lot.
Please start implementingthings, but reflect on the
experiences and start tweakingthem to make them more personal
to what you're working towardsin your own life and setup.
But let's get into today'sepisode, very, very excited and
just to give you guys a recap,we're nine weeks out before I
kick off the 58 marathons in 58days across 58 states.
(03:42):
So that's all 50 states ofAmerica and eight states and
territories of Australia inconsecutive days.
Now it's going to be anincredible experience.
We're kicking off in Alaska andwe're finishing here in
Brisbane, so I'm going to getsnow, minus 15 plus degrees and
then just like the beautifultropical heat of Darwin and
(04:03):
Brisbane and everything likethat.
So it's going to be a very coolexperience.
Got some great brands on boardand we're really working to put
some things in place that youguys can get involved with and
have your own 58-day challenge.
More to come on that.
Let's dive into this episode.
So why raising your standardsis the best thing?
You'll do so up until 23,.
(04:24):
My personal standards one.
I wasn't really aware thatstandards were a thing.
I didn't have a label for them,but essentially the way that I
was acting and how I showed upwas very much like a yo-yo.
They went up when life was goodand they plummeted when things
got tough.
Back then I was super reactive.
I was living at the mercy ofwhatever was happening around me
(04:45):
.
If life had handed me lemons.
I didn't even bother to makelemonade, I just assumed this is
it mate sour drink and all.
I didn't see it as somethingthat I could control.
I did not really believe that Iwas in control of my future.
The big wake-up call came when Iattended a personal development
event.
There was a speaker, ben Kellyand he's actually been on the
(05:08):
show before who shared his story, and it hit me hard.
I realized that my life wasjust on autopilot.
I was reacting and respondingto the things that were
happening to me, rather thanreally taking control and
deciding what do I want my lifeto be or what don't I want my
life to look like?
Because when you're thinkingabout those things, you're going
to make better decisions tomove you away from those things
(05:30):
that you don't want or move youtowards the things that you do
want and, as a result, you endup building a better life.
So I wasn't actively creatinganything and I was reacting to
everything.
I was broke, I had no clearpurpose and I was barely holding
things together.
On the inside, I was reallydrowning and suffocating.
My relationships were in arough shape and my self-worth
(05:55):
well, let's just say it wassomewhere south of rock bottom.
Deciding to raise my standardsfelt powerful until I tried to
put it into practice.
So I still remember the momentwhere I was like I'm going to
change things and this wasbefore I had really, I guess,
categorized it as personalstandards, as they do in the
personal development world now.
(06:15):
And I remember deciding hey,I'm better than this and I want
to step into a position where Ifeel empowered and I feel like
I'm better than this and I wantto step into a position where I
feel empowered and I feel likeI'm really pursuing my greatness
.
And when I decided that twoweeks later I hit a hurdle a
trip to the start line almostand I fell back.
(06:38):
And that was me recognizing howchallenging this was going to
be when I had to put things intopractice.
And I do believe a lot ofpeople have that same experience
now, where they talk a lot ofstuff.
They talk about what they'regoing to do, what they believe
in, but as soon as they have tostep up and really stand behind
that or implement it, or actionthat, they don't do it and their
(07:00):
results reflect that, just likemine did at the time.
So the biggest challenge was myself-image.
I'd spent so many years with afixed mindset, assuming who I
was and what I was, and I didn'tlike that version of myself.
I thought I was a piece of shitand because that's what I
believed, my actions backed thatup.
(07:21):
I was constantly findingevidence within my own life to
go told you.
So you know better than that.
There you go, proof is in thepudding.
I'm sure you maybe experiencedthat in your own life as well.
But had I been able to zoom out, had I been able to step back,
I would have also been able tosee the great things that
challenged those beliefs, sothat I could have continued or
(07:43):
started making progress a lotsooner.
It was when I started toactively decide who I wanted to
become.
I was choosing where I wantedto focus and in turn I found
evidence and I started changingmy actions and I started
changing my behaviors.
So that's sort of how thatwhole process works.
It was sort of like airing outa dusty old closet.
Every time I got to dig deeperI'd find some limiting belief
(08:06):
waiting to pull me back down andmy head was full of I'm not
good enough for that, or that'snot who I am, and I had to
challenge that, and the doubtersdidn't help.
Those bloody doubters, we allhave them in our life, and when
I talk about doubters as well, Idon't believe they doubt us
because they want us to fail,but I think part of it is a
reflection of themselves,because they're not taking the
(08:28):
risk and they wish they were.
So it's almost easier to puttheir negative projections onto
you than to have to reflect uponthat within themselves.
So family and friends were amixed bag at this point in time.
Some were supportive, sure, butothers looked at me like I
joined a cult or something.
Time.
Some were supportive, sure, butothers looked at me like I
joined a cult or something.
There's nothing wrong withtrying to improve yourself and
(08:49):
being told but, mate, you'vealways been like this.
One of the funniest moments thatI guess had to be my
short-lived network marketingphase, and when I say
short-lived, I was probably inthere three years, three, four
years, so not that short in thegrand scheme of things.
But I thought I'd found myselfthis golden ticket, and I
(09:10):
couldn't understand why peopledidn't see the magic.
You could build a business,earn what you wanted, help your
friends and family, all byselling something that you
believed in.
It probably seemed a bitintense if you'd spoken to me
during that period or gotmessages from me and, looking
back, I can laugh at that and Ican go.
I can see why people maybe toldyou to bugger off, but I was so
(09:32):
excited at the time and I feellike people go through that all
the time.
I watch people on social medianow and even meet people and
they may not be part of networkmarketing, but they may have
found something that they'retruly passionate about and they
can't stop talking about it.
They wish everyone else wouldsee what they see in it as well.
And there's moments where Icatch myself and go dude, ease
(09:54):
up, ease up, turbo.
But then I take a moment and go.
That was me when I found mything, when I believe that I
could create a better life formyself and I want to champion
that.
I want to support that personbecause I don't want to
discredit them, because I knowthrough time, I know through
experience, they're going toreflect on that and go.
Okay, I don't need to be asintense, but I can still be
(10:16):
excited and pursue what Ibelieve in.
I think we all want to do that.
So, about a year, hold on.
Where am I?
Where am I?
So after that, obviously, when Igot into network marketing, I
(10:37):
had this opportunity to raise mystandards and start being
consistent with them.
I had this idea.
I saw Ben Kelly.
I was having lunch and dinnerswith the top leaders within that
company and I wanted to bethere and I started observing
how they were conductingthemselves, what they did.
They told me how they werebuilding their businesses, how
they got in the position tospeak on the stages, to build
(10:57):
big teams, and I was likethey're the standards that I
need to have, and I committed todoing that.
Regardless of what adversitygot in my way, I was going to
figure out how to do it.
I was running events, I wasmaking a lot of phone calls and
I was working my way up withinthe company, and staying
consistent is always going to bethe name of the game.
I started at the same time as alot of people and they were
(11:19):
gone six months later.
So I knew that if I could justcontinue showing up, being
consistent and developing myskills, I was going to get
better.
I attached painful memories tothe past behaviors nothing like
a bit of aversion therapy.
Every time I thought aboutslipping back, I'd remind myself
(11:39):
of those dark times and thatgave me the push to keep going
forward.
And once again, I don'trecommend other people do that,
but that's what worked well forme.
And once again it came back to.
I wanted to change.
I found something thatmotivated me, something that
worked well for me, so I'm goingto keep using that.
Why wouldn't you?
It just doesn't make sense tonot do that.
(12:00):
So find that thing for yourself.
But I found that keeping a diarywas massively game-changing.
It's why, within the Strongmanof Value Academy, we have the
12-week game plan where we trackyour time, we track your goals
and what you're doing, as wellas what you're grateful for,
because it becomes and is aplace where you could track what
(12:20):
you needed to get done and havethat sense of satisfaction or
accomplishment every day.
There was this moment early onwhen I started seeing some
progress and I thought all right, mate, you've made it Progress.
We always go that.
We pat ourselves on the back.
We then start looking for thereward.
Naturally, I celebrated alittle bit too hard, and only
(12:45):
too quickly did I realize howeasy it is to slip back.
I learned that day that goodresults come from good actions
and well, let's just say, shitactions lead to shit results.
So about a year into my networkmarketing, I felt like things
were starting to click.
My life had taken on a wholenew direction.
(13:07):
I was fit.
Actually, I was jacked.
I was really jacked.
I was in a loving relationshipwith my now wife and running a
business I was passionate about.
It was like the light bulbmoment just went, or like flick
turn on.
Taking responsibility wasn'tjust something you read in
self-help books, it's actuallyworked for me.
(13:27):
The freedom of knowing I was incontrol of my life had this
incredibly empowering feelingand I could learn new skills,
build new relationships and livea life that I actually enjoyed
and I wasn't the man that I usedto be, and I was super proud of
that.
The power of your environment isliterally no joke.
You'll hear people talk aboutit all the time.
(13:48):
I talk about it a lot, andthere is a difference between
being able to change it and talkabout changing it and the
impacts that it brings you.
I found out pretty quickly thatif you surround yourself with
people who don't aspire to much,it's easy to sink back to where
you were and I'm not havinglook.
(14:10):
I want to very much put adisclaimer here.
I'm not having a go at peoplewho don't aspire for the same
things that I aspire to have,because most people who are
aware are putting themselves inthe position that they want.
And some people want to besuper ambitious with their
career and business.
Other people just want to setup the most incredible family
lives possible, and then thereare other people who are just
going with the flow.
There's no right or wrong.
(14:31):
What's right is what's rightfor you, but for me what I found
was that if I wanted to aspireto something and I had an idea
of what that was like I washanging around people who
weren't as aspirational at thetime and so it sort of like that
crab in the bucket.
I was trying to get out, I wastrying to branch out and do new
(14:52):
things, but I kept falling backand I couldn't blame the
environment, because I knew whatthey wanted, what they expected
, but I had to change it andthat's the hard part.
So the positive environment islike fuel.
It keeps you going.
Negative ones, they're like aquicksand.
So in the beginning I made somedrastic moves.
I cut ties with people who werebringing me down, and I also
(15:16):
just cut ties with people thatI'd known forever, and while it
was a bold step I don't believeit was.
Probably, I don't know I don'tthink it was the right one.
I was desperate for change andI thought that distancing myself
was the only way.
It's funny, looking back, I hada moment where I literally
asked myself is what I'm doingwith these people in my best
(15:38):
interest?
If the answer was a no, Istarted making moves.
Today, I know it's more aboutfinding balance, enhancing
relationships where possible andknowing where to keep a bit of
distance, and, once again,that's easier said than done,
but it's something that you needto be mindful of, something
that you need to be aware of.
So, as I continued this journey, I found myself wanting to help
(16:01):
others to do the same.
My purpose became crystal clearto inspire other men to help
others to do the same.
My purpose became crystal clearto inspire other men to rise
above their challenges.
Super simple, so that again isto inspire other men to rise
above their challenges.
Over the years, a few peoplehave reached out to me,
particularly those who'venoticed the shift in my
lifestyle, especially aroundalcohol.
(16:22):
They saw the changes that Imade and it resonated with them.
So one story that stands out isfrom a guy who was struggling
with his relationship withalcohol.
It was affecting his marriage,his job and, honestly, his
self-respect.
He saw me talking openly aboutmy journey and it made me think
maybe I can do this too.
Seeing him take those stepsreminded me that raising our
(16:44):
standards isn't just about ourown growth.
It's about the impact we haveon others, and that's one of the
cool things about documentingon social media that I believe
in, and even podcasting is I getto reflect on things that are
going on in my life.
It's why this week's topic wasaround standards, because I have
been speaking to so many peoplewho don't recognize their
standards aren't the ones thatthey need to achieve the life
(17:07):
that they want, and I alsorecognize that I've dropped the
ball in certain areas that Iwant to pick that up.
Okay.
So he saw me talking openlyabout that journey, as I was
saying, and the impact reallystarted to motivate me to want
to continue striving for what Iwant to in life, and that's why
(17:27):
I'm doing the marathon challenge.
I've done previous other thingsbecause they're things that I'm
curious about.
The things that I'm interestedabout.
They may not be the mainstreamthing to do or what most other
people are doing, but it's whatI want to do, and I've decided
that, in order to live a richlife, I need to make decisions
(17:49):
that I feel are going to benefitme and make me the best version
of myself, so then I can be thebest version of myself for
those that I care about.
And too many of us go.
That's too risky or no one elsewould agree with that, and they
just continue down a path doingthings that they don't like or
they aren't interested in, andthen they wonder why, 10 years
down the track, they've built upthis huge amount of resentment.
(18:11):
They aren't happy in their ownskin.
They just don't love their life, and if you don't want to be in
that position, this is why yourstandards are going to be a
huge thing for you to address.
Here's where things get funny,though.
People often approach raisingstandards like ordering fast
food.
They want immediate results.
I've seen people who declare I'mgoing to earn a million dollars
(18:33):
and, to be fair, that was me.
I remember talking about thatwith my accountant in 2014.
I walked in and Cookie he was abrother of one of my friends.
I was like man, I'm predictingand I'm he was a brother of one
of my friends.
I was like man, I'm predictingand I'm projected to do big
things here, probably going tobe earning a million bucks in 12
months.
So you just want to set up allmy business structure and
(18:54):
everything for that, becausethat's probably going to happen.
And looking back, I'm like whatthe hell was I thinking?
But legitimately, that's what Idid, so I can relate to that
and I know people still do thatand many of them don't have a
plan to do it.
Other things will be like I'mgoing to drop 20 kilos by next
month, as if the weight willjust melt off because they've
(19:16):
announced it.
The impatient used to be me.
I'd make grand plans and Iprobably to a degree still do,
because I do have this part ofmyself that loves to dream big
and I love to talk about it.
But most people don't have anyclue around what it actually
takes only to realize thatchanging deeply ingrained habits
(19:37):
is a process and it's freakingdifficult.
It's only by failing a fewtimes that you realize raising
standards requires experience,not just enthusiasm.
Look, don't knock enthusiasm.
It's fantastic, but you needexperience or you need to have
experience in your corner.
Change takes time and those bigdeclarations are just the first
(19:57):
step.
Real growth comes fromunderstanding it and grinding it
out.
There's no shortcuts.
So my light bulb moment camewhen I finally understood that
raising standards isn't aboutperfection.
I'd gone through years of upsand years of downs thinking I
could overhaul my life overnight, and probably wishing I could
(20:21):
and probably wishing I could.
It doesn't work like that.
I don't want to be this dreamdestroyer, but I want to be
realistic.
I think many of us are toldthat everything is easy and
everything can happen.
As of yesterday, and from myexperience, that hasn't been the
case.
It's so much easier to take astep than a leap, and real
(20:46):
change happens through thosesmall, consistent actions, not
trying to overhaul everythingwithin a day, and it's taken me
a decade to reach this versionof myself and I'm still a work
in progress.
Now you can all go back andlisten to earlier episodes of my
podcast and I would hope thatthere has been some improvement
and growth around how I talk,who I interview and what I'm
talking about.
Listened to earlier episodes ofmy podcast and I would hope
that there has been someimprovement and growth around
how I talk, who I interview andwhat I'm talking about.
(21:08):
But that's my journey.
I listened to episodes and I'mlike man.
That's so cringy, but had I notbeen that person in that moment
, I wouldn't be where I am now.
So to anyone listening to thisand thinking about raising your
standards just take a step.
Don't worry about being perfect.
Just commit to moving forwardthat little bit each day.
(21:29):
After all, as I've learned,every small step counts and
you'll surprise yourself withjust how much those small steps
add up.
My name's Lachlan Stewart.
Thank you, guys for tuning in.
We will have applicationsopening for the Strongman of
Value Academy again soon.
We're on week eight in ourcurrent intake and when that
opens up, I'd love to have youguys join us for next year.
(21:52):
And the cool thing about thosewho are going to be in the
academy for the first cohort ofnext year I'm going to be doing
my run, so you're going to getinside scoops as we catch up on
the calls weekly.
So I'd love you to be a part ofthat.
You can find more atthemanthatcanprojectcom.
As always, do something todayto be better for tomorrow.
Welcome to the man that Can with Lac.
Great to have you back for thereturning listeners.
For those of you who are tuningin for the first time, welcome.
What you can expect to learn onthese episodes are tools,
insights and personalexperiences that have helped me
build a life that I'm proud of.
Now, why is this beneficial toyou?
Every single one of us, asindividuals, have an idea of
(00:24):
what a good life could look likefor us.
We have goals, we have dreams,we have ambitions, and the
difference between obtainingthat or achieving that outcome
and where we are now is thejourney that we need to go on.
That journey is different foreveryone and I reflect quite
regularly on the journey thatI've been on, and I was only
(00:45):
saying to a client yesterday Isaid look, it's easy for me now
to point out what have been thekey things that have helped me
achieve the life that I now live, from a health perspective,
with my career and podcast, andwithin my marriage and
relationships and friendships.
However, if I were to give youthose as a framework and as a
(01:06):
piece of paper, your journeywould still be different to fill
those in, because it's thepersonal standards that you are
aware of that you decide youneed to have, that are going to
uphold that.
So what's really going onbetween your ears is what makes
this journey so unique, and so Ihope, by having the guests that
(01:28):
I have on the show, some thingsthat they say resonate with you
or really give you some ofthose aha moments that make you
go, that may be the thing that Ineed to do, or I can really
relate to what they were sayingor what they were feeling and
experiencing, and if I maybelean more into what they're
saying and embody what they do,that could be the path that I
(01:51):
need to go down in order toimprove my life.
Or, alternatively, with thesesolo episodes that are released
every Thursday, the tools andframeworks and insights that I
use, I hope that you go.
There's one or two things therethat really resonate with you,
that you want to look toimplement into your life.
Now, implementation doesn'tguarantee result because, as I
(02:12):
said, it's different for all ofus and there are a lot more
things that you could look tolearn.
So I want to give you anexample just before we dive into
today's podcast, which is goingto be around raising your
standards.
Okay, and why raising yourstandards is the best decision
that you'll ever make and one ofthe most important decisions.
But before we do, if I were tosay to you guys how I get into
(02:36):
shape, have the physique that Ihave is by training five days a
week.
Go, you would go.
Okay, if I'm just going totrain five days a week, I should
get the same results as Lockie.
But what you're not getting isa lot of the information that
you really need to gain, whichyou can gain through coaching or
you can gain through livedexperience, and it is what is
(02:58):
the specific or what are thespecific things that I'm doing
during those training sessionsand what am I also doing that
accompany great results in thosetraining sessions around or
throughout that 24-hour period,and that's where experience
comes.
So what I would love to give toyou today is to go hey, you're
(03:20):
learning a lot.
Please start implementingthings, but reflect on the
experiences and start tweakingthem to make them more personal
to what you're learning a lot.
Please start implementingthings, but reflect on the
experiences and start tweakingthem to make them more personal
to what you're working towardsin your own life and setup.
But let's get into today'sepisode, very, very excited and
just to give you guys a recap,we're nine weeks out before I
kick off the 58 marathons in 58days across 58 states.
(03:42):
So that's all 50 states ofAmerica and eight states and
territories of Australia inconsecutive days.
Now it's going to be anincredible experience.
We're kicking off in Alaska andwe're finishing here in
Brisbane, so I'm going to getsnow, minus 15 plus degrees and
then just like the beautifultropical heat of Darwin and
(04:03):
Brisbane and everything likethat.
So it's going to be a very coolexperience.
Got some great brands on boardand we're really working to put
some things in place that youguys can get involved with and
have your own 58-day challenge.
More to come on that.
Let's dive into this episode.
So why raising your standardsis the best thing?
You'll do so up until 23,.
(04:24):
My personal standards one.
I wasn't really aware thatstandards were a thing.
I didn't have a label for them,but essentially the way that I
was acting and how I showed upwas very much like a yo-yo.
They went up when life was goodand they plummeted when things
got tough.
Back then I was super reactive.
I was living at the mercy ofwhatever was happening around me
(04:45):
.
If life had handed me lemons.
I didn't even bother to makelemonade, I just assumed this is
it mate sour drink and all.
I didn't see it as somethingthat I could control.
I did not really believe that Iwas in control of my future.
The big wake-up call came when Iattended a personal development
event.
There was a speaker, ben Kellyand he's actually been on the
(05:08):
show before who shared his story, and it hit me hard.
I realized that my life wasjust on autopilot.
I was reacting and respondingto the things that were
happening to me, rather thanreally taking control and
deciding what do I want my lifeto be or what don't I want my
life to look like?
Because when you're thinkingabout those things, you're going
to make better decisions tomove you away from those things
(05:30):
that you don't want or move youtowards the things that you do
want and, as a result, you endup building a better life.
So I wasn't actively creatinganything and I was reacting to
everything.
I was broke, I had no clearpurpose and I was barely holding
things together.
On the inside, I was reallydrowning and suffocating.
My relationships were in arough shape and my self-worth
(05:55):
well, let's just say it wassomewhere south of rock bottom.
Deciding to raise my standardsfelt powerful until I tried to
put it into practice.
So I still remember the momentwhere I was like I'm going to
change things and this wasbefore I had really, I guess,
categorized it as personalstandards, as they do in the
personal development world now.
(06:15):
And I remember deciding hey,I'm better than this and I want
to step into a position where Ifeel empowered and I feel like
I'm better than this and I wantto step into a position where I
feel empowered and I feel likeI'm really pursuing my greatness
.
And when I decided that twoweeks later I hit a hurdle a
trip to the start line almostand I fell back.
(06:38):
And that was me recognizing howchallenging this was going to
be when I had to put things intopractice.
And I do believe a lot ofpeople have that same experience
now, where they talk a lot ofstuff.
They talk about what they'regoing to do, what they believe
in, but as soon as they have tostep up and really stand behind
that or implement it, or actionthat, they don't do it and their
(07:00):
results reflect that, just likemine did at the time.
So the biggest challenge was myself-image.
I'd spent so many years with afixed mindset, assuming who I
was and what I was, and I didn'tlike that version of myself.
I thought I was a piece of shitand because that's what I
believed, my actions backed thatup.
(07:21):
I was constantly findingevidence within my own life to
go told you.
So you know better than that.
There you go, proof is in thepudding.
I'm sure you maybe experiencedthat in your own life as well.
But had I been able to zoom out, had I been able to step back,
I would have also been able tosee the great things that
challenged those beliefs, sothat I could have continued or
(07:43):
started making progress a lotsooner.
It was when I started toactively decide who I wanted to
become.
I was choosing where I wantedto focus and in turn I found
evidence and I started changingmy actions and I started
changing my behaviors.
So that's sort of how thatwhole process works.
It was sort of like airing outa dusty old closet.
Every time I got to dig deeperI'd find some limiting belief
(08:06):
waiting to pull me back down andmy head was full of I'm not
good enough for that, or that'snot who I am, and I had to
challenge that, and the doubtersdidn't help.
Those bloody doubters, we allhave them in our life, and when
I talk about doubters as well, Idon't believe they doubt us
because they want us to fail,but I think part of it is a
reflection of themselves,because they're not taking the
(08:28):
risk and they wish they were.
So it's almost easier to puttheir negative projections onto
you than to have to reflect uponthat within themselves.
So family and friends were amixed bag at this point in time.
Some were supportive, sure, butothers looked at me like I
joined a cult or something.
Time.
Some were supportive, sure, butothers looked at me like I
joined a cult or something.
There's nothing wrong withtrying to improve yourself and
(08:49):
being told but, mate, you'vealways been like this.
One of the funniest moments thatI guess had to be my
short-lived network marketingphase, and when I say
short-lived, I was probably inthere three years, three, four
years, so not that short in thegrand scheme of things.
But I thought I'd found myselfthis golden ticket, and I
(09:10):
couldn't understand why peopledidn't see the magic.
You could build a business,earn what you wanted, help your
friends and family, all byselling something that you
believed in.
It probably seemed a bitintense if you'd spoken to me
during that period or gotmessages from me and, looking
back, I can laugh at that and Ican go.
I can see why people maybe toldyou to bugger off, but I was so
(09:32):
excited at the time and I feellike people go through that all
the time.
I watch people on social medianow and even meet people and
they may not be part of networkmarketing, but they may have
found something that they'retruly passionate about and they
can't stop talking about it.
They wish everyone else wouldsee what they see in it as well.
And there's moments where Icatch myself and go dude, ease
(09:54):
up, ease up, turbo.
But then I take a moment and go.
That was me when I found mything, when I believe that I
could create a better life formyself and I want to champion
that.
I want to support that personbecause I don't want to
discredit them, because I knowthrough time, I know through
experience, they're going toreflect on that and go.
Okay, I don't need to be asintense, but I can still be
(10:16):
excited and pursue what Ibelieve in.
I think we all want to do that.
So, about a year, hold on.
Where am I?
Where am I?
So after that, obviously, when Igot into network marketing, I
(10:37):
had this opportunity to raise mystandards and start being
consistent with them.
I had this idea.
I saw Ben Kelly.
I was having lunch and dinnerswith the top leaders within that
company and I wanted to bethere and I started observing
how they were conductingthemselves, what they did.
They told me how they werebuilding their businesses, how
they got in the position tospeak on the stages, to build
(10:57):
big teams, and I was likethey're the standards that I
need to have, and I committed todoing that.
Regardless of what adversitygot in my way, I was going to
figure out how to do it.
I was running events, I wasmaking a lot of phone calls and
I was working my way up withinthe company, and staying
consistent is always going to bethe name of the game.
I started at the same time as alot of people and they were
(11:19):
gone six months later.
So I knew that if I could justcontinue showing up, being
consistent and developing myskills, I was going to get
better.
I attached painful memories tothe past behaviors nothing like
a bit of aversion therapy.
Every time I thought aboutslipping back, I'd remind myself
(11:39):
of those dark times and thatgave me the push to keep going
forward.
And once again, I don'trecommend other people do that,
but that's what worked well forme.
And once again it came back to.
I wanted to change.
I found something thatmotivated me, something that
worked well for me, so I'm goingto keep using that.
Why wouldn't you?
It just doesn't make sense tonot do that.
(12:00):
So find that thing for yourself.
But I found that keeping a diarywas massively game-changing.
It's why, within the Strongmanof Value Academy, we have the
12-week game plan where we trackyour time, we track your goals
and what you're doing, as wellas what you're grateful for,
because it becomes and is aplace where you could track what
(12:20):
you needed to get done and havethat sense of satisfaction or
accomplishment every day.
There was this moment early onwhen I started seeing some
progress and I thought all right, mate, you've made it Progress.
We always go that.
We pat ourselves on the back.
We then start looking for thereward.
Naturally, I celebrated alittle bit too hard, and only
(12:45):
too quickly did I realize howeasy it is to slip back.
I learned that day that goodresults come from good actions
and well, let's just say, shitactions lead to shit results.
So about a year into my networkmarketing, I felt like things
were starting to click.
My life had taken on a wholenew direction.
(13:07):
I was fit.
Actually, I was jacked.
I was really jacked.
I was in a loving relationshipwith my now wife and running a
business I was passionate about.
It was like the light bulbmoment just went, or like flick
turn on.
Taking responsibility wasn'tjust something you read in
self-help books, it's actuallyworked for me.
(13:27):
The freedom of knowing I was incontrol of my life had this
incredibly empowering feelingand I could learn new skills,
build new relationships and livea life that I actually enjoyed
and I wasn't the man that I usedto be, and I was super proud of
that.
The power of your environment isliterally no joke.
You'll hear people talk aboutit all the time.
(13:48):
I talk about it a lot, andthere is a difference between
being able to change it and talkabout changing it and the
impacts that it brings you.
I found out pretty quickly thatif you surround yourself with
people who don't aspire to much,it's easy to sink back to where
you were and I'm not havinglook.
(14:10):
I want to very much put adisclaimer here.
I'm not having a go at peoplewho don't aspire for the same
things that I aspire to have,because most people who are
aware are putting themselves inthe position that they want.
And some people want to besuper ambitious with their
career and business.
Other people just want to setup the most incredible family
lives possible, and then thereare other people who are just
going with the flow.
There's no right or wrong.
(14:31):
What's right is what's rightfor you, but for me what I found
was that if I wanted to aspireto something and I had an idea
of what that was like I washanging around people who
weren't as aspirational at thetime and so it sort of like that
crab in the bucket.
I was trying to get out, I wastrying to branch out and do new
(14:52):
things, but I kept falling backand I couldn't blame the
environment, because I knew whatthey wanted, what they expected
, but I had to change it andthat's the hard part.
So the positive environment islike fuel.
It keeps you going.
Negative ones, they're like aquicksand.
So in the beginning I made somedrastic moves.
I cut ties with people who werebringing me down, and I also
(15:16):
just cut ties with people thatI'd known forever, and while it
was a bold step I don't believeit was.
Probably, I don't know I don'tthink it was the right one.
I was desperate for change andI thought that distancing myself
was the only way.
It's funny, looking back, I hada moment where I literally
asked myself is what I'm doingwith these people in my best
(15:38):
interest?
If the answer was a no, Istarted making moves.
Today, I know it's more aboutfinding balance, enhancing
relationships where possible andknowing where to keep a bit of
distance, and, once again,that's easier said than done,
but it's something that you needto be mindful of, something
that you need to be aware of.
So, as I continued this journey, I found myself wanting to help
(16:01):
others to do the same.
My purpose became crystal clearto inspire other men to help
others to do the same.
My purpose became crystal clearto inspire other men to rise
above their challenges.
Super simple, so that again isto inspire other men to rise
above their challenges.
Over the years, a few peoplehave reached out to me,
particularly those who'venoticed the shift in my
lifestyle, especially aroundalcohol.
(16:22):
They saw the changes that Imade and it resonated with them.
So one story that stands out isfrom a guy who was struggling
with his relationship withalcohol.
It was affecting his marriage,his job and, honestly, his
self-respect.
He saw me talking openly aboutmy journey and it made me think
maybe I can do this too.
Seeing him take those stepsreminded me that raising our
(16:44):
standards isn't just about ourown growth.
It's about the impact we haveon others, and that's one of the
cool things about documentingon social media that I believe
in, and even podcasting is I getto reflect on things that are
going on in my life.
It's why this week's topic wasaround standards, because I have
been speaking to so many peoplewho don't recognize their
standards aren't the ones thatthey need to achieve the life
(17:07):
that they want, and I alsorecognize that I've dropped the
ball in certain areas that Iwant to pick that up.
Okay.
So he saw me talking openlyabout that journey, as I was
saying, and the impact reallystarted to motivate me to want
to continue striving for what Iwant to in life, and that's why
(17:27):
I'm doing the marathon challenge.
I've done previous other thingsbecause they're things that I'm
curious about.
The things that I'm interestedabout.
They may not be the mainstreamthing to do or what most other
people are doing, but it's whatI want to do, and I've decided
that, in order to live a richlife, I need to make decisions
(17:49):
that I feel are going to benefitme and make me the best version
of myself, so then I can be thebest version of myself for
those that I care about.
And too many of us go.
That's too risky or no one elsewould agree with that, and they
just continue down a path doingthings that they don't like or
they aren't interested in, andthen they wonder why, 10 years
down the track, they've built upthis huge amount of resentment.
(18:11):
They aren't happy in their ownskin.
They just don't love their life, and if you don't want to be in
that position, this is why yourstandards are going to be a
huge thing for you to address.
Here's where things get funny,though.
People often approach raisingstandards like ordering fast
food.
They want immediate results.
I've seen people who declare I'mgoing to earn a million dollars
(18:33):
and, to be fair, that was me.
I remember talking about thatwith my accountant in 2014.
I walked in and Cookie he was abrother of one of my friends.
I was like man, I'm predictingand I'm he was a brother of one
of my friends.
I was like man, I'm predictingand I'm projected to do big
things here, probably going tobe earning a million bucks in 12
months.
So you just want to set up allmy business structure and
(18:54):
everything for that, becausethat's probably going to happen.
And looking back, I'm like whatthe hell was I thinking?
But legitimately, that's what Idid, so I can relate to that
and I know people still do thatand many of them don't have a
plan to do it.
Other things will be like I'mgoing to drop 20 kilos by next
month, as if the weight willjust melt off because they've
(19:16):
announced it.
The impatient used to be me.
I'd make grand plans and Iprobably to a degree still do,
because I do have this part ofmyself that loves to dream big
and I love to talk about it.
But most people don't have anyclue around what it actually
takes only to realize thatchanging deeply ingrained habits
(19:37):
is a process and it's freakingdifficult.
It's only by failing a fewtimes that you realize raising
standards requires experience,not just enthusiasm.
Look, don't knock enthusiasm.
It's fantastic, but you needexperience or you need to have
experience in your corner.
Change takes time and those bigdeclarations are just the first
(19:57):
step.
Real growth comes fromunderstanding it and grinding it
out.
There's no shortcuts.
So my light bulb moment camewhen I finally understood that
raising standards isn't aboutperfection.
I'd gone through years of upsand years of downs thinking I
could overhaul my life overnight, and probably wishing I could
(20:21):
and probably wishing I could.
It doesn't work like that.
I don't want to be this dreamdestroyer, but I want to be
realistic.
I think many of us are toldthat everything is easy and
everything can happen.
As of yesterday, and from myexperience, that hasn't been the
case.
It's so much easier to take astep than a leap, and real
(20:46):
change happens through thosesmall, consistent actions, not
trying to overhaul everythingwithin a day, and it's taken me
a decade to reach this versionof myself and I'm still a work
in progress.
Now you can all go back andlisten to earlier episodes of my
podcast and I would hope thatthere has been some improvement
and growth around how I talk,who I interview and what I'm
talking about.
Listened to earlier episodes ofmy podcast and I would hope
that there has been someimprovement and growth around
how I talk, who I interview andwhat I'm talking about.
(21:08):
But that's my journey.
I listened to episodes and I'mlike man.
That's so cringy, but had I notbeen that person in that moment
, I wouldn't be where I am now.
So to anyone listening to thisand thinking about raising your
standards just take a step.
Don't worry about being perfect.
Just commit to moving forwardthat little bit each day.
(21:29):
After all, as I've learned,every small step counts and
you'll surprise yourself withjust how much those small steps
add up.
My name's Lachlan Stewart.
Thank you, guys for tuning in.
We will have applicationsopening for the Strongman of
Value Academy again soon.
We're on week eight in ourcurrent intake and when that
opens up, I'd love to have youguys join us for next year.
(21:52):
And the cool thing about thosewho are going to be in the
academy for the first cohort ofnext year I'm going to be doing
my run, so you're going to getinside scoops as we catch up on
the calls weekly.
So I'd love you to be a part ofthat.
You can find more atthemanthatcanprojectcom.
As always, do something todayto be better for tomorrow.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.