In today’s episode of Mind Your Own Karma - Beyond TheBandage, we’re joined by Kellan Bacon, a transmasculine, transracial adoptee and holistic practitioner. Kellan shares their powerful journey of navigating life as a queer, trans person and how their experiences shaped their healing work. Through their practice, Kai Ming Holistics, Kellan uses compassionate,trauma-informed, and body-centered approaches to help individuals—especially queer and adopted folks—heal and reclaim their authentic selves.
Kellan blends breathwork, polyvagal theory, parts work, and Root Cause Therapy to support nervous system healing and emotional release. In this episode, we explore:
How being trans and a transracial adoptee intersects with Kellan's identity and healing journey.
The power of breathwork and somatic practices in navigating trauma and reconnecting with the body.
The importance of authenticity in healing and reclaiming one’s true self.
How Kellan’s spirituality and healing practices have evolved over time, especially with Root Cause Therapy.
And how we can heal from within by tuning in to our bodies and nervous systems.
If you’re someone who’s exploring your identity, dealing with trauma, or interested in alternative healing practices, this episode will leave you with fresh perspectives and actionable insights for your own journey.
About Kellan Bacon: Kellan is a transmasculine, transracial adoptee from China and the founder of Kai Ming Holistics. They specialize in guiding queer and adopted folks through trauma-informed, body-centered healing using breathwork, polyvagal theory, parts work, and root cause therapy. Kellan’s unique approach combines their own lived experiences with professional knowledge to create a compassionate, holistic space for healing.
Connect with Kellan:
Instagram accounts are: https://www.instagram.com/kellanbacon
and https://www.instagram.com/kaimingholistics
Kellan's Website: https://KaiMingHolistics.as.me/
Somatic Healing Journeys What if the answers you’ve been searching for aren’t outside of you, but within? Somatic Mindful Guided Imagery® helps you access your body’s hidden stories and begin real healing.
Your body remembers what your mind has forgotten. Through Somatic Mindful Guided Imagery®, we listen, we feel, we heal. If your soul’s been whispering for something more… follow the call at https://www.somatichealingjourneys.com/.
Want to be a guest?
If you’re an out-of-the-box healer or someone with a unique perspective on healing—whether through somatic techniques, energy work, trauma-informed care, or any alternative methods—I’d love to hear from you! Reach out if you’re interested in being a guest on Mind Your Own Karma - Beyond The Bandage.
Email: mindyourownkarma@gmail.com
#TransracialAdoptee #AdopteeVoices #Transmasculine#GenderExpansive #QueerHealing #AdopteeHealing #AuthenticSelf #ComingOutOfTheFog #BreathworkHealing #SomaticHealing #EmbodiedHealing #Transmasc #Nonbinary #NervousSystemRegulation #TraumaInformedCare #HealingJourney #MindBodyConnection #AsianAdoptee #ChineseAdoptee #AdopteeRights #TransAdopteeSpace #AdoptionTrauma #DecolonizeHealing #MindYourOwnKarma #HealingPodcast #QueerVoices #AdopteeStories #HolisticWellness #CommunityHealing #MindYourOwnKarma #Somatic #SomaticHe
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hey there. It's Melissa.
Brunetti and welcome to the mindyour own Karma podcast.
Hey there Karma crew. Thanks for joining me for this
episode of mind. Your own Karma, beyond the
(00:20):
bandage. Path to your truest self was
paved, not just with healing butwith reclaiming the parts of
you, the world told you to hide.Today, I'm so excited to
introduce you to Kellen bacon, someone whose story and work
blend trauma, healing identity, and the power of transformation
(00:40):
in a truly unique way, Kellen isa trans masculine transracial
adoptee from China and through their practice timing Holistics.
They guide fellow queer and adopted folks on a journey of
healing using compassionate trauma-informed, body centered
approaches But Killen's work isn't just about healing, it's
(01:04):
about unlocking, the body's in acapacity to thrive.
They draw on their own lived experiences.
Weaving together breathwork Polly, Bagel Theory Parts work
and root cause their bee to helppeople reconnect with their
authentic selves and transform their nervous systems responds
to trauma. As a member of the adoptee
(01:26):
community kellen's perspective is incredibly special and today,
we'll dive into what it means tonavigate life, and healing as
both an adoptee and acquire trans person.
It's an episode that promises tochallenge the way we think about
healing identity and connection.So, get ready to go beyond the
(01:47):
bandage, to explore, some edges of healing and identity.
In a way you may have never heard before.
Let's Dive In. We are welcome to the show
today, hello, I'm awesome. Thank you.
Yeah, so I found you on tiktok and you are on my for you page,
(02:09):
which was super interesting. The timing was perfect because I
was kind of contemplating what Iwanted to do with season 4.
I didn't want to totally abandonthe adopted Community because
they're, they were a huge Focus for the podcast for two years.
But I also felt a need to kind of start transitioning into the
healing part of it. So you were just like the
perfect fit and also kind of like The Universe.
(02:32):
Telling me that, yes, this is the direction you need to go.
So thanks so much for coming on the show today.
Yeah, let's be here an impressive that you found me
through tiktok as well, because I hope he's, I know, I know it
was just meant to be, I'm telling you, it was just meant
So you are an adoptee and you'realso a transracial adoptee.
So, can you share a little bit about your adoption journey and
(02:56):
growing up as a transracial adoptee and how it shaped your
understanding of your identity? Yeah, for sure.
So yeah, I am a transactional adopting.
So I was adopted from China whenI was around eight months old
and I've since then been living,well, I live at the moment, but
I lived with to White British parents and like many adoptees
(03:21):
out there. I think I grew up very much kind
of believing, adoption didn't affect me.
And my parents would just you know, it was just very normal
and they were basically just my parents, they just got them
later on. and it wasn't until Maybe lockdown think was the
kind of timing on it locked down.
(03:43):
Actually coincided so me just after like a mental health
crisis. And I think that's when for me,
all of the like stuff started coming out and I started
realizing that I had all these, all these triggers, and all
this, like, repressed, emotion in me, a lot of which was to do
with adoption. And so lockdown, really gave me
(04:03):
the space to kind of figure stuff out. and, Yeah, I realized
that for stars that I wasn't white.
That was quite Revelation to me and just growing up with so much
proximity to whiteness. I'd kind of always been like
well I'm not black so I'm probably white pen.
And so yeah just coming to, I guess a Reckoning with my race.
(04:30):
And yeah, just adoption and its impacts. and then, yeah, the
rest. So that was kind of your coming
out of the Fog. You know, during covid.
So what did was there, a? So was it just covid?
Or was there a certain somethingthat kind of triggered that
coming out of the Fog? Yeah, I think it was multiple
(04:51):
things in the Mental Health crisis.
I think was really the kind of catalyst to Kickstart things and
but as well, the the race kind of sides and it was when the
Black lives matter movement was becoming more prominent and just
realizing that I just didn't really know who I was intense of
(05:12):
racial identity and my roots andreally starting to actually be
present with that because I think it's Been that for a long,
long time and throughout uni, I think.
I'd considered birth parents searching and all of this stuff.
I don't DNA tests and but actually being with that feeling
(05:36):
and giving it space. I don't think I'd done that.
Until after my Mental Health crisis where I was like, I've
tried requesting this for my entire life and it doesn't seem
to work. so, I had to like, Kindof change.
The way I was doing things at that point and how old were you
at that time? I was good question.
(05:57):
I feel like I'm going to that age where I like simultaneously
feel very old and very good. I'm like in my first like
signature right now. When when was I and I think I
was like 1920 as well. This was kind of it was like 30
(06:21):
year unique and of Wow, so that's crazy because that
doesn't usually happen to like 40s 50s, you know?
So that's crazy. So doing things like yeah, have
a feeling you're an old soul. So you also were trying to
figure out your sexuality. Was it during that time as well
(06:43):
and all this kind of start to come out at that time.
Yeah, it's questioned my sexuality.
Through my teens. So I agree up and being quite
Christian, it wasn't that we were very like Christian going
in that. Sorry, not Christian getting
Church going in that sense. And but just in terms of
beliefs, and my my parents were fairly conservative and I
(07:06):
believe there are actually quitelike homophobic growing up and I
was very, I was like a Bible reader.
It's like I was also like anti-gay and all this stuff and
14. I kind of just realized like if
there's a God, if there's a benevolent being and I was like,
I don't think he wants to like fight with each other about
(07:29):
this, this much. And so I started questioning
that and maybe realized that wasI was gay and I say gay into
like I like I was interested in females.
And when I was around 16 and that point, I had only just kind
of been exposed to what gender really was a concept and what
(07:54):
transgender people existing and as soon as I kind of stumbled
across that online, I was reallyresonating with that.
But I think it was only trans men that I saw representation
from. So there was a part of me that
was like, oh, I I feel very muchlike these people but I don't
feel like I'm a man. and, So I kind of buried that again and I
(08:19):
did a lot of bearing at this Asia and and when back into the
closet around gender, so I kind of from 16 to like my Mental
Health crisis. A lot down here.
I was kind of Believing, I was agay female. and then, Through
lockdown after I gone through the process of coming out the
(08:42):
fog around adoption and realizing how that impacted me.
It was almost like that gave me.The space to to see myself more
fully. and to To realize actually that my gender.
Was so much more complex than I was.
I was allowing it to be and I think non-binary, identities
(09:07):
were getting. The word.
Just like I knew about them all.Yeah, right.
And I was like, oh, that makes sense.
Like I didn't feel like I'm a man, I don't feel binary in my
gender and but this is absolutely War.
I feel is right for myself and my body.
And so yeah, then just basicallycame out as Non-binary and
(09:33):
change my pronouns today them. And change my name within like
three days of figuring out. And then, yeah, the rest is
between history. So let's be clear because you
look like a man. So, you were born a female Yeah.
So yeah, assigned female at Birth.
It's kind of how we how we put it.
Okay. So how did that go with your
(09:59):
family? When you were going through all
these changes. Yes.
So well not changes you are coming into your side.
Yeah. So, when I initially came out as
gay and my parents were very resistant to that, and I'd kind
of maybe expected some form of kind of arguing that I, I was in
(10:22):
or trying to trying to change meto be like, a straight female
and, but they just like Point Blank.
Didn't believe me, which I thinkwas very it, really treated.
A lot of like invalidation wounds, I think is an adult to
and not like invisibility, like,not being seen Um, so that that
really scared me, I think I'm still, you know, that's still a
(10:44):
Scholars there. Yeah.
And but they seem to be a bit more receptive.
Actually, to when I started talking about gender, and I
think maybe it made more sense for them.
And maybe there's less Sigma through religion about being
trans because obviously there's a lot of discourse around gay
and but yeah, I think I've seen a lot of change.
(11:07):
Particularly my dad's where he'sgone from being very homophobic
and queer phobic, and not getting anything to be.
Like you said, he realized that he would lose me if you didn't
change and open up. And wow, that's been really, I
think healing for me to see as well because it's like, seeing
your parents square and yeah, you know, being part of that
(11:29):
Evolution as people and amazing.Yeah, that's amazing.
That's great. So yeah, very grateful that he's
a, he's an ally and He's been really supportive.
Yeah, so going through all of these changes personally what
were some of the challenges thatyou may be faced or, you know,
(11:49):
because of your background is being Christian and kind of
maybe questioning You know. Because I know the Christian
background. Well, you know, I don't know.
How was that? How was that journey?
And what challenges did you facekind of coming to these
conclusions? Yeah, I mean it's it's
interesting around Christianity.I think at that point I had come
(12:12):
away from Christianity quite a bit. and, In the eye.
I mean, I still very much properly in something like a
higher power but just that it's not a set religion.
I don't think humans know what'sup.
I think we meant to know what's up.
I think one of the challenges for me was actually to do with,
(12:35):
you know, this more like intersectional Like patriarchy
that's affected me and so being adopted from China, it's very
likely that I was relinquished for being a sign, female at
Birth. and so I think I've always been I've almost like
take I had taken up like a mantle of being female and, you
(12:58):
know, feminism and one to fight against patriarchal standards.
And to me then to realize actually I'm not like
presenting. as more masculine inthe world and I'm read as male a
lot of time and that was really uncomfortable for me to kind of
get my head around and I wasn't expecting.
(13:21):
I think a lot of people, you know, that they have issues
where people don't see them for their for their gender and
they'll keep misgendering them, it's like a female and stuff if
they're transitioning. And I kind of had the opposition
where as soon as I started binding and so I had a flat
chest, I think I was already quite androgynous and so people
(13:42):
started immediately hemming me at this point and I found that
incredibly uncomfortable so I didn't relate to being he him.
and so that's been a journey in like, Yeah, kind of dismantling.
Well, not dismantling, but just getting comfortable with How
(14:04):
people perceive me? I think.
Yeah. That's like a big trigger.
I think a big wound for adoptees, you know being?
Yeah. See, we are.
Yeah, it almost sounds like I just as you're talking I'm
picturing like a butterfly and going through all these changes
in the way we look and you know,our perceived and things because
(14:25):
you are transmasculine. But going through that process
you were kind of like wait you're calling me a man like
that doesn't feel you know. So you were kind of like going
through That butterfly catharsisalmost.
Even yourself, even though you kind of were identifying in that
direction, just find that kind of interesting that that made
(14:46):
you kind of uncomfortable. You know.
Yeah yeah, yeah. And I think as well with that.
Just the one child policy in China.
There was a lot of those a lot of players a grief I think in
transitioning because it was like I was then realizing that I
was like really wished for a reason that didn't really exist.
(15:11):
As in, you know, being a sign ofbirth being really female.
But then not actually yeah, female very much feeling more at
home in him, more muscular and body.
And yeah that was I mean if somebody's trying to figure out
yeah, if somebody's trying to figure out their sexuality,
(15:33):
they're so many different. I mean, it's a, it's a
charcuterie Board of, you know, how was you tell somebody?
Where should they start? Like, trying to figure that out?
Yeah, gosh, I mean, well, I feellike it might be useful like for
listeners, so it's like, sexuality is agenda like two
distinct things. So like your sexuality is like,
(15:55):
who you're interested in. You want to sleep with, you want
to love and you just like who you all.
Go by the world. And so in terms of sexuality and
and gender, really, I think it'sjust one of those.
Journeys of life that we're always kind of on.
And I don't think I've finished that journey.
(16:16):
I don't think any of us have in their both.
Very fluid, both very little with us.
And so I feel like The best way was to get to know them.
Is actually not again, it's not one of those.
Like learning what it is. It's like unlearning the things
(16:36):
that aren't serving you like learning the conditioning that
generous by binary or learning the women or woman Hood means
like being submissive or people pleasing and just all these
conditions that we put on things, and Learning people
please sing. You know like how many of us
like hold on to identity's because that's who we've been
(16:59):
Told we have to be and like being The Golden Child is an
adult to like being the perfect like a level student and
academic. I think that's something.
I It a lot. And then realize through
Academia that was like actually this isn't for me like this
isn't what my heart wants to do so yeah.
Yeah. Well I could do a whole episode
(17:21):
on just talking about this stuffbut let's get into the healing
for a little bit. So you do breath work what kind
of LED you to breath work in thesomatic practices that you're
doing the healing modem? Yeah.
Yeah I do I do love breath work and I go into Beth work actually
by accident in I was doing a traditional therapy course and I
(17:42):
got covid. I got covid fatigue and one of
the fellow like nutritional therapists was like oh you
should try both work. For energy.
And the first I was very much a non-believer as like, I've been
reading on my life, I'm pretty sure.
I just like, you kidding me. That's like one of those really
(18:03):
basic things like no, but I was kind of desperate, you know, I'd
always been very active for tea,really sucks and so I I just
used it and found a video and itwas great.
It was like the one thing that seemed to really impact it, even
though it was doing all these other things.
(18:26):
Um, and then I just got progressively more into it and
ended up going to an event that was conscious connected reading.
I didn't really know what that was at the time.
And I was kind of just like, oh,maybe I can like learn a thing
or two more about breath work, but I don't know if you've heard
of conscience connectors, feel like you may have okay.
So conscious connected is, it's like a very activating breast
(18:48):
style, and one of his other names is psychedelic breath,
okay, or be birthing breath, work, transformative, breath
work. So it's got all these names and,
but basically allows us to activate on this system, so that
it can basically process things.It hasn't been able to process.
(19:09):
Almost a way of like triggering on over the system to bring up.
The energy that it's been storing, you know, from from
maybe events that have happened to our lives even preview.
Trauma that you know as adopt touse we're always there.
Oh, how do we, you know? Yeah.
(19:30):
Okay, that's and so that experience was deeply moving for
me if I was connecting to The feelings and parts of myself
that I just never been able to get in touch with and like this
almost like visceral anger. So after that, I you know, I'm
(19:51):
near a division so I just got very obsessed in a very like
stereotypically narrowed image away and And yeah, I just ended
up pursuing, breathworks certification and somatics
certifications and just exploring more aspects of
somatic therapy and working withour nervous system rather than
(20:12):
against it and working more. With like the body and the
internal sensation just try likeprocess in the mind because that
I don't a lot of that in third. Yeah, and it got me.
Places. Oh it only got me so far.
(20:33):
Yeah, yeah I mean yeah. It's like my body was still
holding on to So much that no matter how hard I thought or how
hard I rushed, and it's just like my body was like, oh no,
correct like I'll do that. Well, you can't fix what?
You don't know, a lot of that. So deeply hidden in the body
(20:55):
that we cognitively. Don't even know what's in there.
Unless you, you know, figure outa way to, to get to the root of
that. Yeah.
And so did you have any experiences of going back in the
womb or Like previous. Yeah, I have actually not all
with breathworks some Some of the breath work has felt. quite
(21:17):
in line with that like it's I didn't actually have like an
experience of being in the womb but like those feelings are
talking about that came up, he thought very Infant.
Like, And very proven all like it wasn't.
Memory. Or like something I could
describe, it was just a primal, the Primal worse but in Like a
(21:42):
different kind of somatic, modality that I I've trained in
now and called recalls are be, we used something called
timeline therapy. And so what happens is, we
exploring the recalls all the specific belief that we have, so
like that belief could be something like I'm always
(22:03):
abandoned You know, might be a good example first.
Stop tees. And so we could we can like have
worked around this like rationally and often like the
subconscious and like our literal like nervous system can
still be holding on to that. And so in root cause therapy, we
ask this subconscious to go to the initial event that caused
(22:26):
this belief to be held and some people go to childhoods and some
people go to maybe it's being born and maybe it's being in the
womb. Some people go back to pass
lives. You know, whether you're if
you're open to that kind of idea, I personally am.
And but you know even for those people that are, sometimes it's
(22:49):
like a way for upset also conscious to Access those parts
of ourselves in a way that is safe for it.
And so it works either way. Yeah, but in one of my
experiences, I went back to being in the, in the womb and
that was really special actuallybecause it's almost like I
(23:10):
wasn't myself. It's like I was my birth mom and
I felt like I got this. It was I was working around the
need for control actually. Um and it was like I could feel
her need to control the situation and it was almost like
she needed to control it so thatshe wouldn't have to relinquish
me. And yeah, processing that like
(23:32):
need for control and that like panic.
And kind of gave me a moment I guess.
With being with her is what it felt like, we let that go and
could just be present with that time.
Yeah. And that was yeah yeah that's
How Deeply healing. Yeah I had the same kind of
(23:55):
thing. I went back to in the womb
during one of my sessions as well.
I was just crazy. I was like, I feel like I'm
underwater. I hate, you know, how your ears
like yeah is this and then all of a sudden I realized what was
going on and had a huge healing experience and just kind of was
able to Kind of see what my birth mother went through the
(24:22):
trauma that she went through. While I was for me and you know,
kind of like, wow, what did thatto me?
You know, just a lot of Revelations just in that one
session and that was really healing and I gained so much
compassion for her and the decision she had to make and let
go of a lot of anger and, you know, through that it's amazing.
(24:44):
I'm totally amazing experience. Yeah, totally transforming.
And he very, very healing. So, I kind of went back up a
second, because you were talkingabout nutritional therapy and
this might be a whole nother episode.
But can you tell us what nutrition is because I've never
heard of it before. Yeah.
So it's basically again, it's like a stick approach to working
(25:06):
with the body and so often, Whenwe gave to like a gp's, like
medical practitioners that like,oh, you've got these symptoms,
like, holy ghost issues. Let's throw like a pillow, this
and call it a day and you just go off and take the spell.
Yeah. And so you just all therapy is
(25:27):
is like functional medicine. So it's like looking at
nutrition, your lifestyle, things like your stress levels,
your way of talking to yourself,you know, you control and how
that's all impacting you and, and trying to kind of Integrate,
all of that. It's quite a bit job because
(25:48):
it's a lot going on. and but looking at Health through that
perspective of everything is interconnected And, you know,
food is medicine, like the outdoors is medicine, connection
is medicine, rather than just being like, here's a problem.
We can diagnose and for a pillar, and I didn't qualify as
(26:10):
a nutritional therapist. So I'm not a nutritional
therapist, but I because I was doing that course.
And then found some attics and then my heart was just
informatics. And I was like, it was one of it
was very much one of those occasions where I realized that
quitting was a good thing at that point and Yeah, that was a
whole journey because I was veryattached to my like academic
(26:32):
status and grades and all that one.
My mind's gonna. Yeah, I'm just very I've always
been nutritional therapy. We were talking about yeah.
I just very attracted to Yeah, looking at people holistically
as, yeah, multi-dimensional and just textbook, you know.
(26:57):
Yeah. If someone comes to you, what
does a session look like? And how do you figure out what
they need? Because you've got all these
things to, you know, kind of pull from so yeah, yes.
So I usually have a discovery call with people just to get to
know them. And by that, And from there, I
kind of like look where their nervous system is art.
(27:17):
Really. and because what I do with, a lot of people is I kind
of work up from the foundations of looking at nervous system
regulation and that awareness sothat we can then actually do the
healing will because I think a lot of people tend to and I
would probably one of maybe tendto like dive into the like, okay
(27:38):
I've got all this baggage and all these deep wounds and let's
do Shadow work and go to like mymy deepest triggers and actually
a lot of the time you don't havecapacity for that because it's a
system is a mess because of Monday society and you know,
we've been carrying all this stuff and so yeah, I look up
(27:59):
that when it's not regulation and building capacity in a
nervous system like those resources and kicking people
like I guess more empowerment and how men around just their
emotions and being able to connect and feel with
themselves. Yeah.
And then we kind of we talk about Parts work a little bit.
So again I'm not internal familysystems practitioner but I do
(28:23):
really like to incorporate Partswork.
It's just very intuitive. You know, like a part of me
feels this. And a part of me wants to
protect me this way. Yeah, apart of me feels
abundant, I keep bringing that one today.
So yeah, exception to session fairies.
But I like to. Combine that those elements of
(28:48):
like talking therapy and really staying with our experience in
the body and stay. Yeah the nervous system.
That's what I love about somatic.
Work is yeah I kind of have a foundation where we start you
know, questionnaire or whatever it is but then each session
after that is so organic. Yeah, nobody knows what's gonna
(29:10):
happen and there's there's nevertwo sessions of the same.
It's very focused. On wherever it takes the client,
you know, whatever needs to happen.
Next just comes up. Yeah.
And it's like you, you're not ever?
Exactly. Sure.
Well, is gonna come up, she might be working on something
and that feeling, or an event. My papa for them.
(29:32):
You're like, actually, this is maybe where the body wants to
take us today. And so, that was interesting.
So, you know, myself like reallyliking predictability and
control at least recently, but then yeah, with somatic work, it
just it just flows and I just the body wants to take us.
(29:52):
So, yeah. So you has started coming
Holistics. What inspired you to start that
and what is the mission behind it?
Yeah. I mean I was inspired to do
common. Colors because I fell in love
with cymatics because of what itwas doing for me.
And I think I've always been somebody that wanted to to share
(30:15):
the things that helped me and I've always been like a truth
seeker and like kind of thing. And so, starting this practice
myself was just a way for me to do that and to connect with
people In my communities and be able to help them through
through things. That like, oh, this, this is
(30:38):
like a missing piece of the puzzle in our, and our Journeys,
where we're all just struggling along to, like, rationalize
things that we can't rationalizeand I was like, yeah, obviously,
you know, Different things wortha different people that's like
this is important. And yeah, it just it just very
much fell. I don't know.
(30:58):
Yeah, aligned, I think I'd always known I'd end up in some
sort of like therapeutic role even when that made zero sense,
because I didn't want to work with people, I wanted to work
with animals and Science and lobs, and yeah, just like a part
of me, always Always you? I think that that was what I'd
end up doing. So, do you tailor your healing
(31:19):
practices to support the queer and trans, individuals and
adoptees or do you do you support other demographics as
well? Yeah.
So I'm predominantly working with solo, queer people and most
when I say queer most of those people are coming from like the
trans and non-binary community and then all so maybe like a
(31:40):
third of my clients adoptees AndI really like that.
I've had some clients. from the trans community and On PC
Underdog, T's. And that's just like a very
special, so beautiful relationship really.
And yeah, I guess I do. Like cater specifically for
(32:04):
them. I think I I think I just I do
that just by being part of the community myself in a way.
Yeah, I think it's almost easierfor me to work with clients
staff from my community's, because The people I'm
interacting with every day, likewe just wasn't a lot level.
(32:29):
I'm aware of, you know, things that might affect them or Say,
if we're going back in time, youknow, I'm conscious to use like,
the pronouns that they feel comfortable with of that time
and some people that might differ.
So like one client I had they use they them now but they were
quite comfortable using. She had her for the past because
(32:51):
they felt that like distinction whereas a lot of people like
using day them still and it's just very unique.
Yeah. And I know that you adoptee
community like to have somebody who's informed adoption formed
or you know specifically having an adoptee therapist is you know
kind of The Best of Both Worlds.So I can imagine that being an
(33:13):
adoptee and also trying to figure out, you know, we're
being not the normal. You know what, we call normal
sexual orientation, finding somebody that understands all of
that and one package is huge foryou know to have both and have
that as in the therapist that's just, that's huge.
(33:34):
I'm sure. Yeah.
So what in your own personal Journey?
Was there anything that came up for you you know and finding
your authentic self. That surprised you Mmm, it's
surprised me. The question.
Hmm. I feel like I was just I was
(33:58):
just I was just prepared for all.
Yeah, I don't know and they're open to anything but yeah.
I feel like I well I am these days I think having gone from
that more like closed minded like Very black and white.
Like this doesn't fit religion, to then being like, Oh wait, I'm
(34:19):
like a and queer. And, you know, I'm kind of at
the point where I'm just like, Question everything and I think
something that I've maybe surprised myself with is
actually interesting. I'm being interested in
psychedelics. and I do live in the UK so that is not
particularly legal but just that, that drawer towards yeah,
(34:45):
like planets and like I was listening to me yolk and like,
episodes are, yeah, I lost theirimplants and yeah, just been
very wrong to that. And have done if you like
psychedelics now. And yeah, that's something that
I don't think I would have said I would ever do like maybe a
(35:08):
decade ago. Maybe not even that long.
I was very like until I drugs and stuff of any sort.
And, you know, I I see that as like Nature's Yeah, just drug,
you know, Nature's medicine. And what was your, what was
your? Did you get anything out of the
psychedelics? Yeah, I call my first trip was
(35:32):
like very powerful where I was like, just on another plane and
adoption stuff, came up which fell back and I I did that thing
where you know that I don't lookin the mirror when you're
tripping because it's really weird and scary.
So naturally, I looked in the mirror, you know it's great it
(35:53):
was very interesting and like I saw myself as a lots of
different like my face more often, a lot of different
animals and like, a Maori Warrior and all this stuff in it
very much felt like the yeah, the message behind it was almost
like just that, you know, you'relike all of these things and
you've been all of these things and yeah, just it does not like
(36:15):
a and again, I don't want to bring this up in like A
culturally appropriative way. But like I know a lot of
spiritual people resonate with spirit animals and I was like,
oh I want to like know what my name is but I feel like the
psychedelics were much like you don't have one.
You just all of them you know like Nature's just we all nature
(36:38):
right. Yeah.
Well yeah it's helped me processsome different events, like
sexual format actually really helped me process that And
grief, WE Post like losing a friend.
Yeah, it's been. I feel like again, it's just it
(36:59):
knows what you need on the day, right?
So you mentioned your interestedin exploring cultural Notions of
romance, living community and connection.
How have those ideas shifted throughout your healing Journey?
Yeah. This interests me a lot you know
as a queer person. I feel queer is like yeah being
(37:21):
lgbtq and stuff but I think within the community that's
almost like a Where is like a way of of living that we're
being like being odds with like like the systems around us.
So yeah, I've gone from being very like, no sex before
marriage and you know, kind of just only having this like very
(37:43):
nuclear family in my mind. To just like questioning like
why? Why we have that in place?
Like the structures that led to that and you know, seeing like
romance and platonic love as I'mkind of at the point where I'm
like, I don't feel like they're binary a bit, like, gender isn't
(38:03):
binary, you know, it's like we have this, like, non-binary
nests in the Middle where and things can be both like platonic
and romantic and just how we're defining our relationships, you
know, Polly or any variation of Yeah, I think the queer
community and has a lot to teach.
(38:26):
Society really, like, Western Society.
Because you've got very like Sets.
In like this is the way to do things and, you know, you should
be away from home by this age and buy the house and be married
and have 2.5 kids. And you know, and that is very
(38:47):
prescriptive and then queer people come along and we're like
we don't follow the script and then when you don't follow the
script in one way, you're like oh wait there's so many ways
that like, I've just been kind of like, Going through life
following the script and then you realize that's not you
authentically. What you what you want for
yourself. Yeah, very much.
(39:09):
Still figuring out why do authentically for myself and
yeah, is that complicated to navigate?
But yeah I feel like that's so important for me right to do
that. How important do you think
authenticity is in the healing process?
Question. I feel like it's Very important,
(39:33):
really? I feel like that.
That's almost like that. It feels like kind of the point
for me. It's finding who I am. like, not
really without the conditioning and without the Expectations
that yes Society maybe family adopted family, even different
(39:55):
communities might have all me myself as well. and I think, you
know, once we start stepping into that authenticity, it kind
of gives us like, Power to step into more and more.
Yeah. And that I think the more
connected we get to like ourselves like a couple of us
(40:17):
like it's the greater we can seeinto like joy and happiness and
they're almost like byproducts of finding authenticity and
that's not to say it's like easyI feel like finding authentic
can be like hard. Yeah like breakdown like the
deepest pit. So just bear hard and but yeah I
(40:41):
think through that it's like yeah and you find what you're
looking for but in a way that you're like oh I didn't realize
what I was looking for because exactly.
Yeah. And you have to stay curious and
Yeah, I just think that really curiosity is the key and
nothing. That's easy is ever really worth
(41:03):
it. I mean, you know, if you've
climb, you know, a huge mountainand you get to the top, it's a
lot better than just climbing a little Hill.
And, you know, you I mean it's so it's a worth it.
There's so many people that wantto say stay stuck.
I guess I would think out of fear you know I mean I think
that's kind of yeah partly. Why I did what you know why it
(41:23):
took me so long to come out of the fog partly with fear but
partly was living that script too?
Yeah, you know. So, I don't know.
I'm always. I see so many people on social
media that are stuck and I just feel so sad because they're a
lot of times not ready. You could tell they're not ready
(41:44):
to move forward, but at the samelike there's so many things out
there that can help you. Yeah, it breaks my heart, yeah,
yeah, I have a lot of combustionfor that, you know, just like
it's I think the script is so, Much safer seemingly and like
dancing, so much more familiar. But yeah, it is is frustrating.
(42:07):
I think to, like be looking in on that and seeing the stockness
and yeah, what's possible. It's like.
What's so yeah, so much possiblefor you just yeah.
I'm also sad because everyone has a purpose in this life and
you're not, you're not, you're not living your purpose, you
know. Yeah.
And that means that, I would say.
That means you're missing out. I'm missing out on, whatever it
(42:28):
is you're supposed to bring to us, you know, like I'm waiting
for you to come step up and be who you're supposed to be so I
can benefit from you as well, you know.
So yeah. Yeah.
Like imagine a world where like everyone is like authentically.
Just living that purpose. Can you crazy?
Yeah, that's probably on the other side.
That's probably what it's like. Yeah.
(42:50):
The Apocalypse. so, for someone listening who feels Good or
unsure of where to begin their healing, especially around
identity and belonging. What would you want them to
know? We're here from you right now.
Yeah, I mean kind of full. We just said, I think realizing
that you come to come home. Still is really important.
(43:15):
I'm just yeah, being curious andbeing open to the possibility of
like what if I could move through the world in a different
way? And say.
You know, it's again, it's a journey that you can't really
brush. And and I think, As much as you
(43:36):
might want to like, try and figure it out.
Mentally like and that goes for anything, like sexuality, gender
like the purpose like relationships.
It's like Your body holds the answers in, like, every way.
Yeah. Like your body is holding the
trauma. Your body is holding the wisdom,
it's holding the innate healing capacity and it knows what
(44:01):
decisions are right for you before you do.
It probably knows like your lifebefore you do mine seems. so
yeah, I'd say start. Trusting in your body.
However, that might not look andyeah with that.
And when you do that, what you want?
(44:21):
Kind of comes as a byproduct. Yeah.
Yeah. I think We give our power away
to, you know, doctors and, you know, society and just in so
many different ways that we don't understand that, how
powerful we really are. Mmm, like you were saying, all
(44:43):
the answers are inside of us? They're not out there.
They're not, you know, not in other people.
They're right here, you know. Yeah.
It's kind of where to start is, right?
Right here. Yeah, and I think if I'm allowed
to say another one, yeah, I think. something that I
struggled with as an adult, he was Not feeling like my feelings
(45:07):
were actually real, or like valid.
And I always felt such thing. Like deep connections to my
roots and, like, a deep connection with like my birth
mom on my birthday. I always doubt it, like, if that
was real or believable. Oh, I would just say that.
It's, it's all real, like, if you feel things, so, soulfully
(45:30):
and it's Yeah. Like that's absolutely real and
so leaning into that like realness like a truth and yeah,
and I don't know if you've noticed this in your somatic
work with people, but I feel like people are afraid of what
they're going to uncover, but I find that Nothing is revealed to
(45:52):
you. And tell you're ready?
Yeah, I mean you can choose to look at it or not, but but
you're ready. If it comes up in a session,
you're ready to look at it? Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, I think that kind of erases, the fear when I tell
people clients that, you know, that it's not going to come up
unless you're ready to look at it.
So yeah, yeah, go with it. Yeah, and that's why you know we
(46:17):
build capacity for these things.Before we we try and like dive
really deep because otherwise you're just gonna hit wolves and
yeah, yeah, the bloody feeling resistance.
Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely and it
knows, it knows. It exactly what you need.
Yeah, in that in that session. So, yeah.
Yeah, just like wondering what my body hasn't brought up.
(46:40):
Yeah. It's like you're not ready for
this. Yeah.
I know it's scary, but at the same time, it's like, okay,
let's do it. You know, like another
Milestone, another, another hugegrowth opportunity.
Yeah, again be curious. So tell us where we can find you
and all the things if someone wants to get in contact with
(47:02):
you. Yeah.
So, I'm mostly on Instagram. On my name, Kellan bacon and my
practice account is climbing Holistics.
And that's generally where I'm hanging for like Social Media
stuff. And people, you know, there's
links people can Discovery callsor just like chat to me about
(47:24):
whether are. And I, yeah, I really enjoy just
connecting with people like potential clients which is
fellow dot, teas, fellow queer Folk A little bit on tiktok
because you've discovered I'm not too active on it.
I see you once in a while on there.
Yeah, and then, just a little bit on substack as well.
(47:48):
I've just released like a littleseries actually on like
demystifying like emotions, you know, just because you know, a
lot of us grow up thinking aboutI'm just here to tell people why
they're not actually useful but yeah that's that's about it
really cool. Well, have all those links in
the show notes so that people can find you.
(48:10):
And thank you so much for comingon today.
I really enjoyed this conversation obviously and if
there's anything I can do for you in the future, please let me
know. Thank you.
Thank you. Yeah, lovely talking to you.
What a great gift it was to share space with Kellen today?
(48:30):
They are honesty, wisdom and lived experience, remind us all,
just how powerful it can be to come home to ourselves.
If you're feeling called to explore your own healing path,
more deeply. I encourage you to connect with
Kellen through kinding Holistics.
There are links are in the show notes.
And if you are someone with a unique killing practice or
(48:53):
perspective, especially if you work with somatic techniques
energy, work trauma-informed, care or any alternative healing
modality, I would love to hear from you always looking for
guests who bring something freshgrounded and transformational to
the conversation here. At mind your own Karma.
(49:13):
You can contact me at my own Karma at gmail.com and let's get
you on the podcast. I also offer somatic mindful
guided imagery a practice that gently supports people in
reconnecting with their bodies, releasing stucco motions and
rediscovering their inner wisdom.
If that resonates with you you can reach out to me through my
(49:36):
website, somatic healing Journeys.
Until next time Karma crew, remember your healing journey is
yours. Take what you need and leave,
what you don't And always remember to mind her own Karma.
I will see you next time.
Hey there. It's Melissa.
Brunetti and welcome to the mindyour own Karma podcast.
Hey there Karma crew. Thanks for joining me for this
episode of mind. Your own Karma, beyond the
(00:20):
bandage. Path to your truest self was
paved, not just with healing butwith reclaiming the parts of
you, the world told you to hide.Today, I'm so excited to
introduce you to Kellen bacon, someone whose story and work
blend trauma, healing identity, and the power of transformation
(00:40):
in a truly unique way, Kellen isa trans masculine transracial
adoptee from China and through their practice timing Holistics.
They guide fellow queer and adopted folks on a journey of
healing using compassionate trauma-informed, body centered
approaches But Killen's work isn't just about healing, it's
(01:04):
about unlocking, the body's in acapacity to thrive.
They draw on their own lived experiences.
Weaving together breathwork Polly, Bagel Theory Parts work
and root cause their bee to helppeople reconnect with their
authentic selves and transform their nervous systems responds
to trauma. As a member of the adoptee
(01:26):
community kellen's perspective is incredibly special and today,
we'll dive into what it means tonavigate life, and healing as
both an adoptee and acquire trans person.
It's an episode that promises tochallenge the way we think about
healing identity and connection.So, get ready to go beyond the
(01:47):
bandage, to explore, some edges of healing and identity.
In a way you may have never heard before.
Let's Dive In. We are welcome to the show
today, hello, I'm awesome. Thank you.
Yeah, so I found you on tiktok and you are on my for you page,
(02:09):
which was super interesting. The timing was perfect because I
was kind of contemplating what Iwanted to do with season 4.
I didn't want to totally abandonthe adopted Community because
they're, they were a huge Focus for the podcast for two years.
But I also felt a need to kind of start transitioning into the
healing part of it. So you were just like the
perfect fit and also kind of like The Universe.
(02:32):
Telling me that, yes, this is the direction you need to go.
So thanks so much for coming on the show today.
Yeah, let's be here an impressive that you found me
through tiktok as well, because I hope he's, I know, I know it
was just meant to be, I'm telling you, it was just meant
So you are an adoptee and you'realso a transracial adoptee.
So, can you share a little bit about your adoption journey and
(02:56):
growing up as a transracial adoptee and how it shaped your
understanding of your identity? Yeah, for sure.
So yeah, I am a transactional adopting.
So I was adopted from China whenI was around eight months old
and I've since then been living,well, I live at the moment, but
I lived with to White British parents and like many adoptees
(03:21):
out there. I think I grew up very much kind
of believing, adoption didn't affect me.
And my parents would just you know, it was just very normal
and they were basically just my parents, they just got them
later on. and it wasn't until Maybe lockdown think was the
kind of timing on it locked down.
(03:43):
Actually coincided so me just after like a mental health
crisis. And I think that's when for me,
all of the like stuff started coming out and I started
realizing that I had all these, all these triggers, and all
this, like, repressed, emotion in me, a lot of which was to do
with adoption. And so lockdown, really gave me
(04:03):
the space to kind of figure stuff out. and, Yeah, I realized
that for stars that I wasn't white.
That was quite Revelation to me and just growing up with so much
proximity to whiteness. I'd kind of always been like
well I'm not black so I'm probably white pen.
And so yeah just coming to, I guess a Reckoning with my race.
(04:30):
And yeah, just adoption and its impacts. and then, yeah, the
rest. So that was kind of your coming
out of the Fog. You know, during covid.
So what did was there, a? So was it just covid?
Or was there a certain somethingthat kind of triggered that
coming out of the Fog? Yeah, I think it was multiple
(04:51):
things in the Mental Health crisis.
I think was really the kind of catalyst to Kickstart things and
but as well, the the race kind of sides and it was when the
Black lives matter movement was becoming more prominent and just
realizing that I just didn't really know who I was intense of
(05:12):
racial identity and my roots andreally starting to actually be
present with that because I think it's Been that for a long,
long time and throughout uni, I think.
I'd considered birth parents searching and all of this stuff.
I don't DNA tests and but actually being with that feeling
(05:36):
and giving it space. I don't think I'd done that.
Until after my Mental Health crisis where I was like, I've
tried requesting this for my entire life and it doesn't seem
to work. so, I had to like, Kindof change.
The way I was doing things at that point and how old were you
at that time? I was good question.
(05:57):
I feel like I'm going to that age where I like simultaneously
feel very old and very good. I'm like in my first like
signature right now. When when was I and I think I
was like 1920 as well. This was kind of it was like 30
(06:21):
year unique and of Wow, so that's crazy because that
doesn't usually happen to like 40s 50s, you know?
So that's crazy. So doing things like yeah, have
a feeling you're an old soul. So you also were trying to
figure out your sexuality. Was it during that time as well
(06:43):
and all this kind of start to come out at that time.
Yeah, it's questioned my sexuality.
Through my teens. So I agree up and being quite
Christian, it wasn't that we were very like Christian going
in that. Sorry, not Christian getting
Church going in that sense. And but just in terms of
beliefs, and my my parents were fairly conservative and I
(07:06):
believe there are actually quitelike homophobic growing up and I
was very, I was like a Bible reader.
It's like I was also like anti-gay and all this stuff and
14. I kind of just realized like if
there's a God, if there's a benevolent being and I was like,
I don't think he wants to like fight with each other about
(07:29):
this, this much. And so I started questioning
that and maybe realized that wasI was gay and I say gay into
like I like I was interested in females.
And when I was around 16 and that point, I had only just kind
of been exposed to what gender really was a concept and what
(07:54):
transgender people existing and as soon as I kind of stumbled
across that online, I was reallyresonating with that.
But I think it was only trans men that I saw representation
from. So there was a part of me that
was like, oh, I I feel very muchlike these people but I don't
feel like I'm a man. and, So I kind of buried that again and I
(08:19):
did a lot of bearing at this Asia and and when back into the
closet around gender, so I kind of from 16 to like my Mental
Health crisis. A lot down here.
I was kind of Believing, I was agay female. and then, Through
lockdown after I gone through the process of coming out the
(08:42):
fog around adoption and realizing how that impacted me.
It was almost like that gave me.The space to to see myself more
fully. and to To realize actually that my gender.
Was so much more complex than I was.
I was allowing it to be and I think non-binary, identities
(09:07):
were getting. The word.
Just like I knew about them all.Yeah, right.
And I was like, oh, that makes sense.
Like I didn't feel like I'm a man, I don't feel binary in my
gender and but this is absolutely War.
I feel is right for myself and my body.
And so yeah, then just basicallycame out as Non-binary and
(09:33):
change my pronouns today them. And change my name within like
three days of figuring out. And then, yeah, the rest is
between history. So let's be clear because you
look like a man. So, you were born a female Yeah.
So yeah, assigned female at Birth.
It's kind of how we how we put it.
Okay. So how did that go with your
(09:59):
family? When you were going through all
these changes. Yes.
So well not changes you are coming into your side.
Yeah. So, when I initially came out as
gay and my parents were very resistant to that, and I'd kind
of maybe expected some form of kind of arguing that I, I was in
(10:22):
or trying to trying to change meto be like, a straight female
and, but they just like Point Blank.
Didn't believe me, which I thinkwas very it, really treated.
A lot of like invalidation wounds, I think is an adult to
and not like invisibility, like,not being seen Um, so that that
really scared me, I think I'm still, you know, that's still a
(10:44):
Scholars there. Yeah.
And but they seem to be a bit more receptive.
Actually, to when I started talking about gender, and I
think maybe it made more sense for them.
And maybe there's less Sigma through religion about being
trans because obviously there's a lot of discourse around gay
and but yeah, I think I've seen a lot of change.
(11:07):
Particularly my dad's where he'sgone from being very homophobic
and queer phobic, and not getting anything to be.
Like you said, he realized that he would lose me if you didn't
change and open up. And wow, that's been really, I
think healing for me to see as well because it's like, seeing
your parents square and yeah, you know, being part of that
(11:29):
Evolution as people and amazing.Yeah, that's amazing.
That's great. So yeah, very grateful that he's
a, he's an ally and He's been really supportive.
Yeah, so going through all of these changes personally what
were some of the challenges thatyou may be faced or, you know,
(11:49):
because of your background is being Christian and kind of
maybe questioning You know. Because I know the Christian
background. Well, you know, I don't know.
How was that? How was that journey?
And what challenges did you facekind of coming to these
conclusions? Yeah, I mean it's it's
interesting around Christianity.I think at that point I had come
(12:12):
away from Christianity quite a bit. and, In the eye.
I mean, I still very much properly in something like a
higher power but just that it's not a set religion.
I don't think humans know what'sup.
I think we meant to know what's up.
I think one of the challenges for me was actually to do with,
(12:35):
you know, this more like intersectional Like patriarchy
that's affected me and so being adopted from China, it's very
likely that I was relinquished for being a sign, female at
Birth. and so I think I've always been I've almost like
take I had taken up like a mantle of being female and, you
(12:58):
know, feminism and one to fight against patriarchal standards.
And to me then to realize actually I'm not like
presenting. as more masculine inthe world and I'm read as male a
lot of time and that was really uncomfortable for me to kind of
get my head around and I wasn't expecting.
(13:21):
I think a lot of people, you know, that they have issues
where people don't see them for their for their gender and
they'll keep misgendering them, it's like a female and stuff if
they're transitioning. And I kind of had the opposition
where as soon as I started binding and so I had a flat
chest, I think I was already quite androgynous and so people
(13:42):
started immediately hemming me at this point and I found that
incredibly uncomfortable so I didn't relate to being he him.
and so that's been a journey in like, Yeah, kind of dismantling.
Well, not dismantling, but just getting comfortable with How
(14:04):
people perceive me? I think.
Yeah. That's like a big trigger.
I think a big wound for adoptees, you know being?
Yeah. See, we are.
Yeah, it almost sounds like I just as you're talking I'm
picturing like a butterfly and going through all these changes
in the way we look and you know,our perceived and things because
(14:25):
you are transmasculine. But going through that process
you were kind of like wait you're calling me a man like
that doesn't feel you know. So you were kind of like going
through That butterfly catharsisalmost.
Even yourself, even though you kind of were identifying in that
direction, just find that kind of interesting that that made
(14:46):
you kind of uncomfortable. You know.
Yeah yeah, yeah. And I think as well with that.
Just the one child policy in China.
There was a lot of those a lot of players a grief I think in
transitioning because it was like I was then realizing that I
was like really wished for a reason that didn't really exist.
(15:11):
As in, you know, being a sign ofbirth being really female.
But then not actually yeah, female very much feeling more at
home in him, more muscular and body.
And yeah that was I mean if somebody's trying to figure out
yeah, if somebody's trying to figure out their sexuality,
(15:33):
they're so many different. I mean, it's a, it's a
charcuterie Board of, you know, how was you tell somebody?
Where should they start? Like, trying to figure that out?
Yeah, gosh, I mean, well, I feellike it might be useful like for
listeners, so it's like, sexuality is agenda like two
distinct things. So like your sexuality is like,
(15:55):
who you're interested in. You want to sleep with, you want
to love and you just like who you all.
Go by the world. And so in terms of sexuality and
and gender, really, I think it'sjust one of those.
Journeys of life that we're always kind of on.
And I don't think I've finished that journey.
(16:16):
I don't think any of us have in their both.
Very fluid, both very little with us.
And so I feel like The best way was to get to know them.
Is actually not again, it's not one of those.
Like learning what it is. It's like unlearning the things
(16:36):
that aren't serving you like learning the conditioning that
generous by binary or learning the women or woman Hood means
like being submissive or people pleasing and just all these
conditions that we put on things, and Learning people
please sing. You know like how many of us
like hold on to identity's because that's who we've been
(16:59):
Told we have to be and like being The Golden Child is an
adult to like being the perfect like a level student and
academic. I think that's something.
I It a lot. And then realize through
Academia that was like actually this isn't for me like this
isn't what my heart wants to do so yeah.
Yeah. Well I could do a whole episode
(17:21):
on just talking about this stuffbut let's get into the healing
for a little bit. So you do breath work what kind
of LED you to breath work in thesomatic practices that you're
doing the healing modem? Yeah.
Yeah I do I do love breath work and I go into Beth work actually
by accident in I was doing a traditional therapy course and I
(17:42):
got covid. I got covid fatigue and one of
the fellow like nutritional therapists was like oh you
should try both work. For energy.
And the first I was very much a non-believer as like, I've been
reading on my life, I'm pretty sure.
I just like, you kidding me. That's like one of those really
(18:03):
basic things like no, but I was kind of desperate, you know, I'd
always been very active for tea,really sucks and so I I just
used it and found a video and itwas great.
It was like the one thing that seemed to really impact it, even
though it was doing all these other things.
(18:26):
Um, and then I just got progressively more into it and
ended up going to an event that was conscious connected reading.
I didn't really know what that was at the time.
And I was kind of just like, oh,maybe I can like learn a thing
or two more about breath work, but I don't know if you've heard
of conscience connectors, feel like you may have okay.
So conscious connected is, it's like a very activating breast
(18:48):
style, and one of his other names is psychedelic breath,
okay, or be birthing breath, work, transformative, breath
work. So it's got all these names and,
but basically allows us to activate on this system, so that
it can basically process things.It hasn't been able to process.
(19:09):
Almost a way of like triggering on over the system to bring up.
The energy that it's been storing, you know, from from
maybe events that have happened to our lives even preview.
Trauma that you know as adopt touse we're always there.
Oh, how do we, you know? Yeah.
(19:30):
Okay, that's and so that experience was deeply moving for
me if I was connecting to The feelings and parts of myself
that I just never been able to get in touch with and like this
almost like visceral anger. So after that, I you know, I'm
(19:51):
near a division so I just got very obsessed in a very like
stereotypically narrowed image away and And yeah, I just ended
up pursuing, breathworks certification and somatics
certifications and just exploring more aspects of
somatic therapy and working withour nervous system rather than
(20:12):
against it and working more. With like the body and the
internal sensation just try likeprocess in the mind because that
I don't a lot of that in third. Yeah, and it got me.
Places. Oh it only got me so far.
(20:33):
Yeah, yeah I mean yeah. It's like my body was still
holding on to So much that no matter how hard I thought or how
hard I rushed, and it's just like my body was like, oh no,
correct like I'll do that. Well, you can't fix what?
You don't know, a lot of that. So deeply hidden in the body
(20:55):
that we cognitively. Don't even know what's in there.
Unless you, you know, figure outa way to, to get to the root of
that. Yeah.
And so did you have any experiences of going back in the
womb or Like previous. Yeah, I have actually not all
with breathworks some Some of the breath work has felt. quite
(21:17):
in line with that like it's I didn't actually have like an
experience of being in the womb but like those feelings are
talking about that came up, he thought very Infant.
Like, And very proven all like it wasn't.
Memory. Or like something I could
describe, it was just a primal, the Primal worse but in Like a
(21:42):
different kind of somatic, modality that I I've trained in
now and called recalls are be, we used something called
timeline therapy. And so what happens is, we
exploring the recalls all the specific belief that we have, so
like that belief could be something like I'm always
(22:03):
abandoned You know, might be a good example first.
Stop tees. And so we could we can like have
worked around this like rationally and often like the
subconscious and like our literal like nervous system can
still be holding on to that. And so in root cause therapy, we
ask this subconscious to go to the initial event that caused
(22:26):
this belief to be held and some people go to childhoods and some
people go to maybe it's being born and maybe it's being in the
womb. Some people go back to pass
lives. You know, whether you're if
you're open to that kind of idea, I personally am.
And but you know even for those people that are, sometimes it's
(22:49):
like a way for upset also conscious to Access those parts
of ourselves in a way that is safe for it.
And so it works either way. Yeah, but in one of my
experiences, I went back to being in the, in the womb and
that was really special actuallybecause it's almost like I
(23:10):
wasn't myself. It's like I was my birth mom and
I felt like I got this. It was I was working around the
need for control actually. Um and it was like I could feel
her need to control the situation and it was almost like
she needed to control it so thatshe wouldn't have to relinquish
me. And yeah, processing that like
(23:32):
need for control and that like panic.
And kind of gave me a moment I guess.
With being with her is what it felt like, we let that go and
could just be present with that time.
Yeah. And that was yeah yeah that's
How Deeply healing. Yeah I had the same kind of
(23:55):
thing. I went back to in the womb
during one of my sessions as well.
I was just crazy. I was like, I feel like I'm
underwater. I hate, you know, how your ears
like yeah is this and then all of a sudden I realized what was
going on and had a huge healing experience and just kind of was
able to Kind of see what my birth mother went through the
(24:22):
trauma that she went through. While I was for me and you know,
kind of like, wow, what did thatto me?
You know, just a lot of Revelations just in that one
session and that was really healing and I gained so much
compassion for her and the decision she had to make and let
go of a lot of anger and, you know, through that it's amazing.
(24:44):
I'm totally amazing experience. Yeah, totally transforming.
And he very, very healing. So, I kind of went back up a
second, because you were talkingabout nutritional therapy and
this might be a whole nother episode.
But can you tell us what nutrition is because I've never
heard of it before. Yeah.
So it's basically again, it's like a stick approach to working
(25:06):
with the body and so often, Whenwe gave to like a gp's, like
medical practitioners that like,oh, you've got these symptoms,
like, holy ghost issues. Let's throw like a pillow, this
and call it a day and you just go off and take the spell.
Yeah. And so you just all therapy is
(25:27):
is like functional medicine. So it's like looking at
nutrition, your lifestyle, things like your stress levels,
your way of talking to yourself,you know, you control and how
that's all impacting you and, and trying to kind of Integrate,
all of that. It's quite a bit job because
(25:48):
it's a lot going on. and but looking at Health through that
perspective of everything is interconnected And, you know,
food is medicine, like the outdoors is medicine, connection
is medicine, rather than just being like, here's a problem.
We can diagnose and for a pillar, and I didn't qualify as
(26:10):
a nutritional therapist. So I'm not a nutritional
therapist, but I because I was doing that course.
And then found some attics and then my heart was just
informatics. And I was like, it was one of it
was very much one of those occasions where I realized that
quitting was a good thing at that point and Yeah, that was a
whole journey because I was veryattached to my like academic
(26:32):
status and grades and all that one.
My mind's gonna. Yeah, I'm just very I've always
been nutritional therapy. We were talking about yeah.
I just very attracted to Yeah, looking at people holistically
as, yeah, multi-dimensional and just textbook, you know.
(26:57):
Yeah. If someone comes to you, what
does a session look like? And how do you figure out what
they need? Because you've got all these
things to, you know, kind of pull from so yeah, yes.
So I usually have a discovery call with people just to get to
know them. And by that, And from there, I
kind of like look where their nervous system is art.
(27:17):
Really. and because what I do with, a lot of people is I kind
of work up from the foundations of looking at nervous system
regulation and that awareness sothat we can then actually do the
healing will because I think a lot of people tend to and I
would probably one of maybe tendto like dive into the like, okay
(27:38):
I've got all this baggage and all these deep wounds and let's
do Shadow work and go to like mymy deepest triggers and actually
a lot of the time you don't havecapacity for that because it's a
system is a mess because of Monday society and you know,
we've been carrying all this stuff and so yeah, I look up
(27:59):
that when it's not regulation and building capacity in a
nervous system like those resources and kicking people
like I guess more empowerment and how men around just their
emotions and being able to connect and feel with
themselves. Yeah.
And then we kind of we talk about Parts work a little bit.
So again I'm not internal familysystems practitioner but I do
(28:23):
really like to incorporate Partswork.
It's just very intuitive. You know, like a part of me
feels this. And a part of me wants to
protect me this way. Yeah, apart of me feels
abundant, I keep bringing that one today.
So yeah, exception to session fairies.
But I like to. Combine that those elements of
(28:48):
like talking therapy and really staying with our experience in
the body and stay. Yeah the nervous system.
That's what I love about somatic.
Work is yeah I kind of have a foundation where we start you
know, questionnaire or whatever it is but then each session
after that is so organic. Yeah, nobody knows what's gonna
(29:10):
happen and there's there's nevertwo sessions of the same.
It's very focused. On wherever it takes the client,
you know, whatever needs to happen.
Next just comes up. Yeah.
And it's like you, you're not ever?
Exactly. Sure.
Well, is gonna come up, she might be working on something
and that feeling, or an event. My papa for them.
(29:32):
You're like, actually, this is maybe where the body wants to
take us today. And so, that was interesting.
So, you know, myself like reallyliking predictability and
control at least recently, but then yeah, with somatic work, it
just it just flows and I just the body wants to take us.
(29:52):
So, yeah. So you has started coming
Holistics. What inspired you to start that
and what is the mission behind it?
Yeah. I mean I was inspired to do
common. Colors because I fell in love
with cymatics because of what itwas doing for me.
And I think I've always been somebody that wanted to to share
(30:15):
the things that helped me and I've always been like a truth
seeker and like kind of thing. And so, starting this practice
myself was just a way for me to do that and to connect with
people In my communities and be able to help them through
through things. That like, oh, this, this is
(30:38):
like a missing piece of the puzzle in our, and our Journeys,
where we're all just struggling along to, like, rationalize
things that we can't rationalizeand I was like, yeah, obviously,
you know, Different things wortha different people that's like
this is important. And yeah, it just it just very
much fell. I don't know.
(30:58):
Yeah, aligned, I think I'd always known I'd end up in some
sort of like therapeutic role even when that made zero sense,
because I didn't want to work with people, I wanted to work
with animals and Science and lobs, and yeah, just like a part
of me, always Always you? I think that that was what I'd
end up doing. So, do you tailor your healing
(31:19):
practices to support the queer and trans, individuals and
adoptees or do you do you support other demographics as
well? Yeah.
So I'm predominantly working with solo, queer people and most
when I say queer most of those people are coming from like the
trans and non-binary community and then all so maybe like a
(31:40):
third of my clients adoptees AndI really like that.
I've had some clients. from the trans community and On PC
Underdog, T's. And that's just like a very
special, so beautiful relationship really.
And yeah, I guess I do. Like cater specifically for
(32:04):
them. I think I I think I just I do
that just by being part of the community myself in a way.
Yeah, I think it's almost easierfor me to work with clients
staff from my community's, because The people I'm
interacting with every day, likewe just wasn't a lot level.
(32:29):
I'm aware of, you know, things that might affect them or Say,
if we're going back in time, youknow, I'm conscious to use like,
the pronouns that they feel comfortable with of that time
and some people that might differ.
So like one client I had they use they them now but they were
quite comfortable using. She had her for the past because
(32:51):
they felt that like distinction whereas a lot of people like
using day them still and it's just very unique.
Yeah. And I know that you adoptee
community like to have somebody who's informed adoption formed
or you know specifically having an adoptee therapist is you know
kind of The Best of Both Worlds.So I can imagine that being an
(33:13):
adoptee and also trying to figure out, you know, we're
being not the normal. You know what, we call normal
sexual orientation, finding somebody that understands all of
that and one package is huge foryou know to have both and have
that as in the therapist that's just, that's huge.
(33:34):
I'm sure. Yeah.
So what in your own personal Journey?
Was there anything that came up for you you know and finding
your authentic self. That surprised you Mmm, it's
surprised me. The question.
Hmm. I feel like I was just I was
(33:58):
just I was just prepared for all.
Yeah, I don't know and they're open to anything but yeah.
I feel like I well I am these days I think having gone from
that more like closed minded like Very black and white.
Like this doesn't fit religion, to then being like, Oh wait, I'm
(34:19):
like a and queer. And, you know, I'm kind of at
the point where I'm just like, Question everything and I think
something that I've maybe surprised myself with is
actually interesting. I'm being interested in
psychedelics. and I do live in the UK so that is not
particularly legal but just that, that drawer towards yeah,
(34:45):
like planets and like I was listening to me yolk and like,
episodes are, yeah, I lost theirimplants and yeah, just been
very wrong to that. And have done if you like
psychedelics now. And yeah, that's something that
I don't think I would have said I would ever do like maybe a
(35:08):
decade ago. Maybe not even that long.
I was very like until I drugs and stuff of any sort.
And, you know, I I see that as like Nature's Yeah, just drug,
you know, Nature's medicine. And what was your, what was
your? Did you get anything out of the
psychedelics? Yeah, I call my first trip was
(35:32):
like very powerful where I was like, just on another plane and
adoption stuff, came up which fell back and I I did that thing
where you know that I don't lookin the mirror when you're
tripping because it's really weird and scary.
So naturally, I looked in the mirror, you know it's great it
(35:53):
was very interesting and like I saw myself as a lots of
different like my face more often, a lot of different
animals and like, a Maori Warrior and all this stuff in it
very much felt like the yeah, the message behind it was almost
like just that, you know, you'relike all of these things and
you've been all of these things and yeah, just it does not like
(36:15):
a and again, I don't want to bring this up in like A
culturally appropriative way. But like I know a lot of
spiritual people resonate with spirit animals and I was like,
oh I want to like know what my name is but I feel like the
psychedelics were much like you don't have one.
You just all of them you know like Nature's just we all nature
(36:38):
right. Yeah.
Well yeah it's helped me processsome different events, like
sexual format actually really helped me process that And
grief, WE Post like losing a friend.
Yeah, it's been. I feel like again, it's just it
(36:59):
knows what you need on the day, right?
So you mentioned your interestedin exploring cultural Notions of
romance, living community and connection.
How have those ideas shifted throughout your healing Journey?
Yeah. This interests me a lot you know
as a queer person. I feel queer is like yeah being
(37:21):
lgbtq and stuff but I think within the community that's
almost like a Where is like a way of of living that we're
being like being odds with like like the systems around us.
So yeah, I've gone from being very like, no sex before
marriage and you know, kind of just only having this like very
(37:43):
nuclear family in my mind. To just like questioning like
why? Why we have that in place?
Like the structures that led to that and you know, seeing like
romance and platonic love as I'mkind of at the point where I'm
like, I don't feel like they're binary a bit, like, gender isn't
(38:03):
binary, you know, it's like we have this, like, non-binary
nests in the Middle where and things can be both like platonic
and romantic and just how we're defining our relationships, you
know, Polly or any variation of Yeah, I think the queer
community and has a lot to teach.
(38:26):
Society really, like, Western Society.
Because you've got very like Sets.
In like this is the way to do things and, you know, you should
be away from home by this age and buy the house and be married
and have 2.5 kids. And you know, and that is very
(38:47):
prescriptive and then queer people come along and we're like
we don't follow the script and then when you don't follow the
script in one way, you're like oh wait there's so many ways
that like, I've just been kind of like, Going through life
following the script and then you realize that's not you
authentically. What you what you want for
yourself. Yeah, very much.
(39:09):
Still figuring out why do authentically for myself and
yeah, is that complicated to navigate?
But yeah I feel like that's so important for me right to do
that. How important do you think
authenticity is in the healing process?
Question. I feel like it's Very important,
(39:33):
really? I feel like that.
That's almost like that. It feels like kind of the point
for me. It's finding who I am. like, not
really without the conditioning and without the Expectations
that yes Society maybe family adopted family, even different
(39:55):
communities might have all me myself as well. and I think, you
know, once we start stepping into that authenticity, it kind
of gives us like, Power to step into more and more.
Yeah. And that I think the more
connected we get to like ourselves like a couple of us
(40:17):
like it's the greater we can seeinto like joy and happiness and
they're almost like byproducts of finding authenticity and
that's not to say it's like easyI feel like finding authentic
can be like hard. Yeah like breakdown like the
deepest pit. So just bear hard and but yeah I
(40:41):
think through that it's like yeah and you find what you're
looking for but in a way that you're like oh I didn't realize
what I was looking for because exactly.
Yeah. And you have to stay curious and
Yeah, I just think that really curiosity is the key and
nothing. That's easy is ever really worth
(41:03):
it. I mean, you know, if you've
climb, you know, a huge mountainand you get to the top, it's a
lot better than just climbing a little Hill.
And, you know, you I mean it's so it's a worth it.
There's so many people that wantto say stay stuck.
I guess I would think out of fear you know I mean I think
that's kind of yeah partly. Why I did what you know why it
(41:23):
took me so long to come out of the fog partly with fear but
partly was living that script too?
Yeah, you know. So, I don't know.
I'm always. I see so many people on social
media that are stuck and I just feel so sad because they're a
lot of times not ready. You could tell they're not ready
(41:44):
to move forward, but at the samelike there's so many things out
there that can help you. Yeah, it breaks my heart, yeah,
yeah, I have a lot of combustionfor that, you know, just like
it's I think the script is so, Much safer seemingly and like
dancing, so much more familiar. But yeah, it is is frustrating.
(42:07):
I think to, like be looking in on that and seeing the stockness
and yeah, what's possible. It's like.
What's so yeah, so much possiblefor you just yeah.
I'm also sad because everyone has a purpose in this life and
you're not, you're not, you're not living your purpose, you
know. Yeah.
And that means that, I would say.
That means you're missing out. I'm missing out on, whatever it
(42:28):
is you're supposed to bring to us, you know, like I'm waiting
for you to come step up and be who you're supposed to be so I
can benefit from you as well, you know.
So yeah. Yeah.
Like imagine a world where like everyone is like authentically.
Just living that purpose. Can you crazy?
Yeah, that's probably on the other side.
That's probably what it's like. Yeah.
(42:50):
The Apocalypse. so, for someone listening who feels Good or
unsure of where to begin their healing, especially around
identity and belonging. What would you want them to
know? We're here from you right now.
Yeah, I mean kind of full. We just said, I think realizing
that you come to come home. Still is really important.
(43:15):
I'm just yeah, being curious andbeing open to the possibility of
like what if I could move through the world in a different
way? And say.
You know, it's again, it's a journey that you can't really
brush. And and I think, As much as you
(43:36):
might want to like, try and figure it out.
Mentally like and that goes for anything, like sexuality, gender
like the purpose like relationships.
It's like Your body holds the answers in, like, every way.
Yeah. Like your body is holding the
trauma. Your body is holding the wisdom,
it's holding the innate healing capacity and it knows what
(44:01):
decisions are right for you before you do.
It probably knows like your lifebefore you do mine seems. so
yeah, I'd say start. Trusting in your body.
However, that might not look andyeah with that.
And when you do that, what you want?
(44:21):
Kind of comes as a byproduct. Yeah.
Yeah. I think We give our power away
to, you know, doctors and, you know, society and just in so
many different ways that we don't understand that, how
powerful we really are. Mmm, like you were saying, all
(44:43):
the answers are inside of us? They're not out there.
They're not, you know, not in other people.
They're right here, you know. Yeah.
It's kind of where to start is, right?
Right here. Yeah, and I think if I'm allowed
to say another one, yeah, I think. something that I
struggled with as an adult, he was Not feeling like my feelings
(45:07):
were actually real, or like valid.
And I always felt such thing. Like deep connections to my
roots and, like, a deep connection with like my birth
mom on my birthday. I always doubt it, like, if that
was real or believable. Oh, I would just say that.
It's, it's all real, like, if you feel things, so, soulfully
(45:30):
and it's Yeah. Like that's absolutely real and
so leaning into that like realness like a truth and yeah,
and I don't know if you've noticed this in your somatic
work with people, but I feel like people are afraid of what
they're going to uncover, but I find that Nothing is revealed to
(45:52):
you. And tell you're ready?
Yeah, I mean you can choose to look at it or not, but but
you're ready. If it comes up in a session,
you're ready to look at it? Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, I think that kind of erases, the fear when I tell
people clients that, you know, that it's not going to come up
unless you're ready to look at it.
So yeah, yeah, go with it. Yeah, and that's why you know we
(46:17):
build capacity for these things.Before we we try and like dive
really deep because otherwise you're just gonna hit wolves and
yeah, yeah, the bloody feeling resistance.
Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely and it
knows, it knows. It exactly what you need.
Yeah, in that in that session. So, yeah.
Yeah, just like wondering what my body hasn't brought up.
(46:40):
Yeah. It's like you're not ready for
this. Yeah.
I know it's scary, but at the same time, it's like, okay,
let's do it. You know, like another
Milestone, another, another hugegrowth opportunity.
Yeah, again be curious. So tell us where we can find you
and all the things if someone wants to get in contact with
(47:02):
you. Yeah.
So, I'm mostly on Instagram. On my name, Kellan bacon and my
practice account is climbing Holistics.
And that's generally where I'm hanging for like Social Media
stuff. And people, you know, there's
links people can Discovery callsor just like chat to me about
(47:24):
whether are. And I, yeah, I really enjoy just
connecting with people like potential clients which is
fellow dot, teas, fellow queer Folk A little bit on tiktok
because you've discovered I'm not too active on it.
I see you once in a while on there.
Yeah, and then, just a little bit on substack as well.
(47:48):
I've just released like a littleseries actually on like
demystifying like emotions, you know, just because you know, a
lot of us grow up thinking aboutI'm just here to tell people why
they're not actually useful but yeah that's that's about it
really cool. Well, have all those links in
the show notes so that people can find you.
(48:10):
And thank you so much for comingon today.
I really enjoyed this conversation obviously and if
there's anything I can do for you in the future, please let me
know. Thank you.
Thank you. Yeah, lovely talking to you.
What a great gift it was to share space with Kellen today?
(48:30):
They are honesty, wisdom and lived experience, remind us all,
just how powerful it can be to come home to ourselves.
If you're feeling called to explore your own healing path,
more deeply. I encourage you to connect with
Kellen through kinding Holistics.
There are links are in the show notes.
And if you are someone with a unique killing practice or
(48:53):
perspective, especially if you work with somatic techniques
energy, work trauma-informed, care or any alternative healing
modality, I would love to hear from you always looking for
guests who bring something freshgrounded and transformational to
the conversation here. At mind your own Karma.
(49:13):
You can contact me at my own Karma at gmail.com and let's get
you on the podcast. I also offer somatic mindful
guided imagery a practice that gently supports people in
reconnecting with their bodies, releasing stucco motions and
rediscovering their inner wisdom.
If that resonates with you you can reach out to me through my
(49:36):
website, somatic healing Journeys.
Until next time Karma crew, remember your healing journey is
yours. Take what you need and leave,
what you don't And always remember to mind her own Karma.
I will see you next time.
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