January 27, 2025 • 29 mins
In Episode 7, "Apply Your Why," we highlight how a strong sense of purpose can reshape your approach to goals, amplify personal growth, and pave the way for meaningful success. Discover the motivation behind your actions, learn why each step counts, and see how adaptability and collaboration can help you embrace change and trust your path.
We offer compelling examples—from athletic triumphs to personal victories—to demonstrate how clarifying your 'why' unlocks new possibilities and inspires greater fulfillment. By applying principles like Ask, Believe, Receive, you’ll avoid distractions and stay focused on what truly matters. Join us to uncover how connecting with your core purpose can spark positive transformation and elevate every facet of your journey.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Morning Motivation with GoGo and Natasha.
(00:17):
Welcome to Morning Motivation with GoGo and Natasha.
We are back and we see that you are too.
Thank you for joining us. Thank you for the support for everyone that's been reaching out for the comments, for the shares.
We appreciate it all.
Yes, we do.
(00:38):
We just want to say thank you to everyone that's a part of this journey with us.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes.
Today's topic is called Apply Your Why.
Apply Your Why. And people are like, wait, apply your why? Like, is y'all giving out job interview tips?
(01:04):
I was literally asking that question right before we started this podcast.
I was like, apply your why? What does that mean again, GoGo? What are we talking about?
What does that mean? Tell us what it means.
So what it means is that when your why is strong enough, you win.
(01:26):
That's it right there. Thank you all for listening to another episode.
I was just I was just letting that marinate for a minute. I was letting that marinate.
So when your why is strong enough, you win.
Yes. Yes.
And if you think about if you look back on your life, think about the time that you won.
(01:48):
Think about the time that you've won and to think about how you were feeling at the time.
So really what we're talking about is a feeling, because when you apply your full self to something, that's when you win.
We've seen it all the time with athletes.
They're looking down and out.
And then what happens somehow miraculously, it looks like they've just come out and they win.
(02:13):
What's going on internally is that their why has increased.
The reason why they need to win was stronger than the reason why they should lose.
Oh, man, I'm getting hyped.
So many things are bubbling up now that you're mentioning that.
I love the athletic analogies, but please continue. Continue.
(02:34):
So I want to ask you, Natasha. Yes.
Where have you applied your why and why in your life?
I know this happened so many times, but for you, like, what really comes to mind for you?
Where have I applied my why and one?
Oh, yeah, it's like thinking, which example do I want to plug into?
(03:00):
Because you're right, there are so many times.
I mean, we all have had so many moments in our lives where we've won, right?
Where things that we've wanted to come to fruition.
You've you've wanted that.
And it has when I focused on it, it did happen.
So the first thing that pops into mind, I'm going to go all the way back to childhood.
So when I was 10 years old, I wanted to play in the band.
(03:25):
And in order to play in the band, I needed to have my own instrument to play.
OK. OK.
So I needed to find a way to get this instrument to happen.
And I think learning how to manage money properly.
My parents were giving me an allowance every week. Right.
(03:45):
So I decided at 10, I was going to save my allowance.
I wasn't going to spend it on candy.
I wasn't going to spend it each week on little toys or whatever.
I could just go pick up at the store.
If I was there with my mom, I decided I'm going to save that money.
And I put it aside in my little piggy bank.
And when I found out I needed to get this clarinet, that's what I wanted to buy.
(04:07):
It was clarinet. OK.
And it was going to cost about one hundred dollars.
OK. This is quite a lot of money for a 10 year old. Absolutely.
I mean, you might as well have said a million dollars. Right.
We're not talking about 10 year olds now in the 2020s.
We're talking about a 10 year old back in the 80s. OK.
This is like a different era.
(04:27):
And it took a lot more money to get the things you want.
So you're right. It was like about a million dollars in my mind.
But I just thought, OK, I planned it out.
I plotted it out. My why was very strong.
My why was very strong. I wanted to be in that band.
I wanted to play.
I wanted to learn how to play this instrument.
And so I saved week after week.
(04:48):
I would see a toy at the shop and I think, oh, man, that's ten dollars.
Nope. Can't get it.
I got this other thing over here that's more important to me.
Kept going.
And finally, the day had arrived.
I had enough money in my piggy bank and my mom took me to the music store
and the owner presented me with my my clarinet.
(05:12):
It wasn't a brand new clarinet.
I believe it was a used clarinet at that point. Right.
That's what I could afford.
But it was a very well refurbished.
It was very good. It was solid.
And when I presented my money, I presented it over the counter to him.
He was so encouraging of me.
And that stuck with me in my mind was the appreciation him as an adult
(05:37):
that he showed me for my courage, I guess, or perseverance
to save my own money, to pay for my own instrument.
I was so full of pride.
And it just that moment has stuck with me up till now.
That is my apply or why first memory that I can think of.
It's just so it brings me joy.
(05:58):
In fact, I think about that memory frequently as I'm thinking
about the wins in my life, because that's a huge win.
That's a huge win. That's a huge win.
And what you really have spoken about delayed gratification,
because you could have taken the ten dollars that you received that week
(06:20):
and you could have bought some candy.
You could have bought a baby doll.
You could have bought a fire truck.
But instead you say, you know what?
I'm going to buy this clarinet in the future.
And that type of thinking at that age just creates a lifestyle of.
(06:46):
Of success, really, because you know, like, yes,
the shiny blue object is in front of me.
I don't know why I chose the color blue.
That's just what popped into my head.
I want this other thing over here.
Yes, this thing in front of me is nice and cool and cute.
But what I really want is over here.
I have to put in some work.
I have to apply that why and have to apply restraint.
(07:07):
And in order to to get the thing that I really want.
And how many times and this is for our listeners,
how many times have you deprived yourself of the opportunity
to have a little bit of a sense of what you really want
by taking something that's in front of you.
And it's like, you know, you wanted this thing,
(07:27):
but you decided to go with this thing that was in front of you
when you know you want that clarinet.
But those M&M's peanuts, who's looking at you?
For me, it was but it was Butterfingers.
Oh, Butterfingers.
Put down the Butterfingers.
(07:48):
Oh, come on.
We're just name dropping all of the candies.
Feel free.
Whoever makes those those candies to come and drop us a sponsorship.
We appreciate it.
Thank you so much.
All right. So sweet and kind, so sweet and kind.
Thank you. We'll take the candy now.
We will take it. Thank you.
We can take it at 10. We'll take it now.
(08:09):
That's amazing. And I'm so glad you did.
And congratulations.
You know, because I think what's really cool is that you talk about
remembering that moment because sometimes we can forget our past wins.
And that's what they tell us to write it down, write down your wins,
write down those moments so you can remember what it felt like.
(08:31):
Because it's that same, those same feeling and that same conviction
that you will need for the next thing.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
And now I'm just like absolutely boiling over with curiosity
as to what and where are the moments in your life that you've applied your why
in order to win and maybe start with that story because you teased us with it at the top.
(08:54):
You said you had one already.
I do. And it comes from you have there's a lot of different stories,
but the one that comes up, I was also from childhood and not as young as you.
But when I was in high school,
I was in the student council and I was a sophomore at the time.
(09:15):
And I the president of the student body was this black male.
And he when he ran the meetings, he had a gavel and he would bang the gavel.
And we start the meeting.
And I remember looking at him, I was like, I want that gavel.
So I literally decided as a sophomore in high school
(09:42):
that come my senior year in high school, I was going to be student body president.
And little did I know that at that time or anyone else knew that.
They had already they had already lost the election because I was starting it
way before anybody was even thinking about that.
(10:02):
I said, OK, my senior year, I'm running for student body president and I will win.
So I'm going to start this campaign now.
And what that meant was, is I started meeting people in the school.
I started because it was, you know, in high school, it's mostly a popularity contest.
How many people like you?
And it's not necessarily are you the best person for the job?
(10:24):
It really is like, you know, who likes you and who thinks that you can identify with them, that sort of thing.
So I started meeting any and everybody in the school.
And there was a saying, I had a shout out to my friend Dax.
He's an actor out here. We all went to the same high school and he was senior class president.
But in high school, everyone said that everybody knows Dax.
(10:46):
That's what they would say about Dax.
And then they would say about me that go go knows everybody because I literally would go and I would meet everybody.
I would just go introduce myself and talk to people.
And that's it. And I wasn't saying, hey, I'm going to run for president.
None of that conversation was even had. This is strategy.
I'm just going to meet this person, have this moment with them and they'll remember me.
(11:08):
And they did because two years later, coming to my senior year, I ran for student body president and I won.
And I got that gavel. And what's so funny is I have no idea where that gavel is.
It's somewhere in storage. But I do have it.
And it has my name on it, has the year. So I did get that gavel.
(11:30):
Wow. Wow. I love that story. I had my mic muted in the middle.
I did have a little bit of a chuckle at one moment in there.
Just thinking about you with that gavel.
And I'm wondering, was that in your mind, the holding of the gavel in your mind as you were moving towards this goal?
(11:51):
I think what it was is that that gavel represented power.
And that's what I wanted, was I wanted the power.
Because in order for me to get that gavel, I had to be in a position of power to bang that gavel when it was time to start that meeting.
As a sophomore in high school, I was thinking about the politics of it all or whatever.
I just wanted that power. Whatever the reason is, why you want something, as long as it's strong enough for you to weather the storm, you'll get there.
(12:20):
Exactly. Exactly. I love that.
Now, what if just the thought of what if you get to a point in your life where you're losing your sense of what your why is for whatever reason?
There could be many reasons why we lose track of our purpose or our why, right? Why we're doing things.
(12:41):
For example, I want to be an actor and am an actor now, right?
But somewhere along the journey, I started to feel like I was losing a little bit of the reason about why I wanted to do this.
There can be moments in your career where you start to wonder, why am I doing this again?
(13:06):
Because you can get tossed from one end of the spectrum to the other.
And as far as your emotion, how you're feeling about it, just the experience you're having, it can be wonderful at one moment and then just very disappointing.
Or it will run the gamut of everything because it's a volatile career, right?
From financial aspect to the emotional aspect to everything, because you're giving everything.
(13:27):
You're giving your whole self to this. You are your product.
And it's you that's out there every day is the product.
Moving forward, just I reached that point for myself as an actor where I started to wonder, why am I doing this?
Why? And I had put a lot of it on, OK, my family really believes in me.
(13:49):
I've got to make sure I become successful to warrant all the support that they show me over the years.
And I put a lot of pressure on myself to live up to this expectation that they never put on me, by the way.
They just said, look, you just do your best. We believe in you, which is amazing, by the way.
(14:10):
Thank you, family. My goodness. You know, like it is amazing.
And at the time, I couldn't really fully appreciate that feeling because I was so busy putting all this pressure saying I better live up to all the support.
I better just I better make this happen. I have to make this happen so it can prove that they believed in me for the right reason that I really going to be successful.
(14:33):
So I lost the joy of of acting just for the sake of enjoying it.
Yeah, please. One thing that you are hitting on is that you were you were strangling your dreams.
You've now held your dreams hostage and said that, OK, now you must do this for this reason.
(14:54):
A lot of us can be in that same boat with whatever it is we're trying to do, because all of the other reasons that aren't necessarily our why,
they might be someone else's why for us that we've kind of internalized, we've internalized their why that they distract us of why we're doing it.
Why am I doing it? When you start strangling your dreams, you will feel you feel that pressure.
(15:18):
If you put your hand on your neck and you apply pressure, that's what you feel spiritually and energetically.
And it is becomes difficult to perform. That's it. That's exactly it.
You couldn't have said that better. Such great insight there, because that's exactly what happened.
It did start to put a chokehold on my dreams, on my ability to present and perform and really just have joy in what I was doing,
(15:43):
because it would just be looming there, this looming better do this well, I better do this right, I better succeed because.
And it's not my why anymore, just some some made up why that I put pressure on myself to achieve. Right.
Yeah. And I think I also want to point this out.
When we talk about apply your why, when your why is strong enough, you win.
(16:04):
I know a lot of us can think about the act of actually winning or losing, but the application of the why you've won already.
So whether or not the outcome is I booked this role or I got this million dollars or whatever the case may be,
that those are just goals along the way. You've already won because now you put your why in motion
(16:25):
because you don't know the how of how stuff is going to take place and nor is it your job to know the how.
When you start to try to control how it's going to happen, that's when you start to lose a lot of the essence of it all.
So just by applying your why, you're already winning because the application of your why today can be the win two years from now.
(16:53):
And you don't know what that's going to look like. But, you know, I'm going in this direction,
which is why we have to have these goals, because there are multiple ways to get there.
There are multiple ways to win. And you just have to just go on the journey and kind of release and let go and enjoy the ride.
And some days it's harder than others to enjoy the ride. And you have to remind yourself.
That's why I say write your goals down, not because you forgot what they are.
(17:14):
So you can remind your body, remind your mind, remind your soul. Why?
Just to put in there, we do have an episode. Remind your mind. Go check that one out.
Check it out. Check out. Remind your mind. Remind your mind and apply your why.
It all connects. It all connects. Yeah, I just want to I want to go back to that very key point that you made about how the how hops in.
(17:41):
Right. When we start asking how that again, that's not our job. Right. Go, go.
You're like, no, this is actually not part of it. But it is so married to the apply your why.
We immediately our mind will go, but how?
And it's always that seed of but how that can lead you down the road to unhappiness.
(18:04):
Well, what I was thinking about with the how part and not worrying about the how is takes us back to many of childhood
cartoons and movies where the parents saying to the child, OK, this thing is going to be happening.
And what the child say? Why? And then the parent responds, says another fact or something.
(18:27):
And then they say why? And it just continues until either the child gives up or the parent says, because I said so or whatever.
However, it ends. And we also do that in acting.
When you're discovering a character, they say, ask why until you can't ask why anymore.
Then you've discovered everything you need to know about this character in there does not say anything about the how.
(18:49):
How is not mentioned at all. It's always why.
And that really is trying to teach us to have a strong why for what you're doing.
Any time someone does something wrong, commits a crime, the police always bring the person in.
So why did you do that? Because they're always trying to look for the motive, the motive behind what the crime was.
So even in crime, detectives are trying to figure out why.
(19:12):
And when they're trying to figure out who the criminal is and they ask why someone would do this thing, that can get them closer to the person they're looking for.
And then when they bring the person in, they ask him why.
And it's because of so and so and such as that just happened when I was a kid or whatever happened.
And that was the why why they did that, because we have to we need to conceptualize and understand why.
(19:33):
So why is important in really so many different aspects.
So if the police are asking why, figuring out why criminals are doing stuff, then why wouldn't you ask why for your life?
Why wouldn't you ask why for your goals? Why wouldn't you apply that why on the positive side of things?
So apply your why.
Go Go, I love that you just took us on a whole journey with apply your why.
(19:57):
And I'm still curious because I know that you've got some more stories that you wanted to share.
And I have one that's that's just been bubbling up like this whole time as well.
Go ahead and share your story. Hop in there.
I am really feeling this. So last summer, I had a wonderful experience.
I went to a Tony Robbins event and it was a very powerful event.
(20:19):
I really got something out of it that I didn't expect.
And one of the key moments for me was a specific exercise that he took us through,
where he had the entire group really think through this question in a way.
He didn't put it in these exact words that we're using in this podcast,
(20:41):
but it was really thinking about why are we doing what we're doing in our lives?
What is driving us and what is going to make us change the course that we're on right now?
The exercise was so powerful in the sense that I really got to look at my life
(21:02):
from the perspective of someone who hadn't made the changes and hadn't found out what their why was.
Wow. And he took us emotionally, physically, mentally through 10 years from now.
What that life looks like when you haven't applied it 20 years from now,
(21:22):
when you still haven't applied any purpose to your life 30 years from now.
And what do you look like when you look at yourself in the mirror?
Who's looking back at you at that point in your life?
And something literally has switched.
(21:42):
I can't go back to who I was before I did this exercise and I don't want to,
because what happened is I decided we went to the other side of that.
And that was also the most powerful thing is that you got to experience,
OK, the other side of that. What if you did apply?
What if you did do it?
And the elation that you feel in this, I want to say it's an exercise in, it's a type of mental exercise.
(22:11):
I can't remember the name of it. I'll have to look it up.
But the point is you go on this journey and by the end of it,
you actually see your life entirely different and you can't go back.
So that was what came to mind. You've been talking about the apply or why.
If you don't feel it, I think there's also a chance that you won't be able to hook into it in a way.
(22:35):
It can feel sort of like in, well, it is intangible,
but you've got to grab onto it in some way that makes sense to you.
But if you grab onto whatever that why is, I would just urge everyone that is thinking about,
well, especially if you don't know what your why is yet, make it as real to you as possible.
(23:01):
I love that. I love that because you don't have to have all the answers all at once.
You need a direction and your why becomes stronger as you become clearer with what it is that you want.
Me as an actor, one of the things that I love to do is if I want something that's going to cost money,
I say, OK, let me just book another job.
(23:22):
I've said that so many times and that has been the answer to a lot of my things that I want.
If I want something monetarily, that is not necessarily a necessity.
I said, let me book another job and I'll go do that thing.
That's that delayed gratification piece that we talked about earlier,
because sometimes I see something that I want.
I don't know, let me book another job.
Then I'll come get that thing. Then I'll book a job.
(23:44):
I realize, I actually I really want it because now that I have the money to actually get it,
it's like, oh, OK, I want to do something else with my money.
And that will really tell you because money is a great way to to kind of gauge
how you really feel about something if you're willing to spend your hard earned cash money on that thing.
(24:05):
So for me, it's like, OK, if I want something, let me go book a job and then I'll know if I actually want it.
And so my other story is I'm going to the Missy Elliott concert.
This is my birthday present to myself and I wanted a certain ticket.
So I said, I want I want these tickets and they cost a certain amount of money.
I said, well, I need to book another job in order for me to make that happen.
So I did book a job, wasn't enough to pay for the tickets,
(24:26):
but I ended up getting a residual from another job, which was more than the cost of the tickets.
And then I realized, OK, so I have that.
So I could actually pay for that thing down. Do I do I really want it?
Do I want these are they worth that to me?
And, you know, in having these real conversations because now the money is right in front of me.
And then another set of funds came in from my refund from taxes.
(24:49):
Amen. I did my taxes.
So then it's like, OK, now I really can get it.
And so then, you know, now making decision of like, OK, what can what else can I be doing with that money?
Because I'm still going to the concert and I'll be I'll be sitting wherever I'll be sitting somewhere.
And I've gotten clearance from from God that, yes, get to get those tickets.
You're going to be just fine.
(25:10):
But now I have to, you know, be OK with it within myself and say, OK, I am going to get these tickets.
And so I didn't worry about the how I thought it was going to be for me booking another voiceover job,
but it ended up being something I had already booked.
So, again, I let the how go and I set a direction.
I set a course. I set a destination.
(25:31):
How I got there wasn't my concern.
I just went along for the journey.
When you set the destination, set the course of where you want to go.
Yes, you're in the driver's seat and you see the directions on the GPS.
You're not holding the steering wheel stiff.
You're not holding it stiff. You're just easily driving.
OK, turn left, turn right. Oh, did you make a wrong turn?
(25:52):
OK, then OK, then reroutes.
That's what happens in life.
You set your destination of where you want to go in life, and sometimes you make a wrong turn.
And that's OK, because your inner self will reroute.
It may take you a little longer to get there, which is fine, but you still get there.
Exactly. I've been trying to apply this.
What you're talking about.
This is such great advice.
(26:13):
And I've been applying it in the moment.
My brain has been rerouting throughout this entire podcast.
And I am so grateful that, first of all, Gogo is editing this episode and you won't be able to hear all of those outtakes unless you join our our YouTube channel.
Maybe you'll see some of those.
Maybe you see some of the bonus content on the YouTube.
(26:37):
But rerouting rerouting, that's a great way to think about it.
And I think that is exactly it.
We do have moments where we need to just go with the flow and just go with where life is taking us and not keep asking, well, how is this going to turn out?
Right. Because the how.
(26:57):
Oh, wow. Wow. The how can question your faith.
So if you are worried about the how, then now you are starting to lose faith because you're trying to control it.
And it's not your job.
It's called ask, believe, receive, not ask, believe, control, receive.
(27:19):
Little extra, the extra stuff we throw in there because we're feeling things aren't going the way we thought they were going to go in our head can really distract us from our dreams.
Exactly. It can also distract you in the moment.
Like I said, I just I'm bringing that back up again because I'm calling myself out in the moment.
I was really trying to control in some way.
There was some part of me that was going, oh, I need to control the way these words are coming out of my mouth right now.
(27:44):
I don't sound the way I want to sound.
Oh, I need to give up.
That was like literally like thought going on.
So I'm like, OK, no, let me like redirect.
And first of all, I asked for help.
You guys didn't see that part. I was like raising my hand.
I'm like, oh, no, no.
And we rerouted and he helped to reroute.
Yeah, I mean, I think that's also part of it is asking for help.
(28:07):
There you go. Yes. So drop that other age at the other one.
Don't ask how. Ask for help.
Oh, there you go.
Oh, boy. Go, go.
I love it. I love the other age.
Right. Many people have said and this is these aren't my words.
But if your dream doesn't include someone else, it's not big enough.
(28:31):
So you have to dream bigger. I'll say it again.
If your dream does not include someone else, it's not big enough.
Because if you can just do it by yourself, then there's nothing to have faith in
because you can just do it by yourself.
You have to ask some people into the equation.
Who you're affecting, who you're changing, who's going to help you along the way,
who's going to be is going to be moved by whatever is that you present into the world.
(28:55):
If your dreams do not include other people, it is not big enough.
If you don't feel uncomfortable a little bit with your dreams,
you need to dream bigger. Come on.
Dream bigger. Apply your why.
Love it.
Thank you all for listening to another episode of Morning Motivation with
(29:20):
GoGo and Natasha.
Morning Motivation with GoGo and Natasha.
(00:17):
Welcome to Morning Motivation with GoGo and Natasha.
We are back and we see that you are too.
Thank you for joining us. Thank you for the support for everyone that's been reaching out for the comments, for the shares.
We appreciate it all.
Yes, we do.
(00:38):
We just want to say thank you to everyone that's a part of this journey with us.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes.
Today's topic is called Apply Your Why.
Apply Your Why. And people are like, wait, apply your why? Like, is y'all giving out job interview tips?
(01:04):
I was literally asking that question right before we started this podcast.
I was like, apply your why? What does that mean again, GoGo? What are we talking about?
What does that mean? Tell us what it means.
So what it means is that when your why is strong enough, you win.
(01:26):
That's it right there. Thank you all for listening to another episode.
I was just I was just letting that marinate for a minute. I was letting that marinate.
So when your why is strong enough, you win.
Yes. Yes.
And if you think about if you look back on your life, think about the time that you won.
(01:48):
Think about the time that you've won and to think about how you were feeling at the time.
So really what we're talking about is a feeling, because when you apply your full self to something, that's when you win.
We've seen it all the time with athletes.
They're looking down and out.
And then what happens somehow miraculously, it looks like they've just come out and they win.
(02:13):
What's going on internally is that their why has increased.
The reason why they need to win was stronger than the reason why they should lose.
Oh, man, I'm getting hyped.
So many things are bubbling up now that you're mentioning that.
I love the athletic analogies, but please continue. Continue.
(02:34):
So I want to ask you, Natasha. Yes.
Where have you applied your why and why in your life?
I know this happened so many times, but for you, like, what really comes to mind for you?
Where have I applied my why and one?
Oh, yeah, it's like thinking, which example do I want to plug into?
(03:00):
Because you're right, there are so many times.
I mean, we all have had so many moments in our lives where we've won, right?
Where things that we've wanted to come to fruition.
You've you've wanted that.
And it has when I focused on it, it did happen.
So the first thing that pops into mind, I'm going to go all the way back to childhood.
So when I was 10 years old, I wanted to play in the band.
(03:25):
And in order to play in the band, I needed to have my own instrument to play.
OK. OK.
So I needed to find a way to get this instrument to happen.
And I think learning how to manage money properly.
My parents were giving me an allowance every week. Right.
(03:45):
So I decided at 10, I was going to save my allowance.
I wasn't going to spend it on candy.
I wasn't going to spend it each week on little toys or whatever.
I could just go pick up at the store.
If I was there with my mom, I decided I'm going to save that money.
And I put it aside in my little piggy bank.
And when I found out I needed to get this clarinet, that's what I wanted to buy.
(04:07):
It was clarinet. OK.
And it was going to cost about one hundred dollars.
OK. This is quite a lot of money for a 10 year old. Absolutely.
I mean, you might as well have said a million dollars. Right.
We're not talking about 10 year olds now in the 2020s.
We're talking about a 10 year old back in the 80s. OK.
This is like a different era.
(04:27):
And it took a lot more money to get the things you want.
So you're right. It was like about a million dollars in my mind.
But I just thought, OK, I planned it out.
I plotted it out. My why was very strong.
My why was very strong. I wanted to be in that band.
I wanted to play.
I wanted to learn how to play this instrument.
And so I saved week after week.
(04:48):
I would see a toy at the shop and I think, oh, man, that's ten dollars.
Nope. Can't get it.
I got this other thing over here that's more important to me.
Kept going.
And finally, the day had arrived.
I had enough money in my piggy bank and my mom took me to the music store
and the owner presented me with my my clarinet.
(05:12):
It wasn't a brand new clarinet.
I believe it was a used clarinet at that point. Right.
That's what I could afford.
But it was a very well refurbished.
It was very good. It was solid.
And when I presented my money, I presented it over the counter to him.
He was so encouraging of me.
And that stuck with me in my mind was the appreciation him as an adult
(05:37):
that he showed me for my courage, I guess, or perseverance
to save my own money, to pay for my own instrument.
I was so full of pride.
And it just that moment has stuck with me up till now.
That is my apply or why first memory that I can think of.
It's just so it brings me joy.
(05:58):
In fact, I think about that memory frequently as I'm thinking
about the wins in my life, because that's a huge win.
That's a huge win. That's a huge win.
And what you really have spoken about delayed gratification,
because you could have taken the ten dollars that you received that week
(06:20):
and you could have bought some candy.
You could have bought a baby doll.
You could have bought a fire truck.
But instead you say, you know what?
I'm going to buy this clarinet in the future.
And that type of thinking at that age just creates a lifestyle of.
(06:46):
Of success, really, because you know, like, yes,
the shiny blue object is in front of me.
I don't know why I chose the color blue.
That's just what popped into my head.
I want this other thing over here.
Yes, this thing in front of me is nice and cool and cute.
But what I really want is over here.
I have to put in some work.
I have to apply that why and have to apply restraint.
(07:07):
And in order to to get the thing that I really want.
And how many times and this is for our listeners,
how many times have you deprived yourself of the opportunity
to have a little bit of a sense of what you really want
by taking something that's in front of you.
And it's like, you know, you wanted this thing,
(07:27):
but you decided to go with this thing that was in front of you
when you know you want that clarinet.
But those M&M's peanuts, who's looking at you?
For me, it was but it was Butterfingers.
Oh, Butterfingers.
Put down the Butterfingers.
(07:48):
Oh, come on.
We're just name dropping all of the candies.
Feel free.
Whoever makes those those candies to come and drop us a sponsorship.
We appreciate it.
Thank you so much.
All right. So sweet and kind, so sweet and kind.
Thank you. We'll take the candy now.
We will take it. Thank you.
We can take it at 10. We'll take it now.
(08:09):
That's amazing. And I'm so glad you did.
And congratulations.
You know, because I think what's really cool is that you talk about
remembering that moment because sometimes we can forget our past wins.
And that's what they tell us to write it down, write down your wins,
write down those moments so you can remember what it felt like.
(08:31):
Because it's that same, those same feeling and that same conviction
that you will need for the next thing.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
And now I'm just like absolutely boiling over with curiosity
as to what and where are the moments in your life that you've applied your why
in order to win and maybe start with that story because you teased us with it at the top.
(08:54):
You said you had one already.
I do. And it comes from you have there's a lot of different stories,
but the one that comes up, I was also from childhood and not as young as you.
But when I was in high school,
I was in the student council and I was a sophomore at the time.
(09:15):
And I the president of the student body was this black male.
And he when he ran the meetings, he had a gavel and he would bang the gavel.
And we start the meeting.
And I remember looking at him, I was like, I want that gavel.
So I literally decided as a sophomore in high school
(09:42):
that come my senior year in high school, I was going to be student body president.
And little did I know that at that time or anyone else knew that.
They had already they had already lost the election because I was starting it
way before anybody was even thinking about that.
(10:02):
I said, OK, my senior year, I'm running for student body president and I will win.
So I'm going to start this campaign now.
And what that meant was, is I started meeting people in the school.
I started because it was, you know, in high school, it's mostly a popularity contest.
How many people like you?
And it's not necessarily are you the best person for the job?
(10:24):
It really is like, you know, who likes you and who thinks that you can identify with them, that sort of thing.
So I started meeting any and everybody in the school.
And there was a saying, I had a shout out to my friend Dax.
He's an actor out here. We all went to the same high school and he was senior class president.
But in high school, everyone said that everybody knows Dax.
(10:46):
That's what they would say about Dax.
And then they would say about me that go go knows everybody because I literally would go and I would meet everybody.
I would just go introduce myself and talk to people.
And that's it. And I wasn't saying, hey, I'm going to run for president.
None of that conversation was even had. This is strategy.
I'm just going to meet this person, have this moment with them and they'll remember me.
(11:08):
And they did because two years later, coming to my senior year, I ran for student body president and I won.
And I got that gavel. And what's so funny is I have no idea where that gavel is.
It's somewhere in storage. But I do have it.
And it has my name on it, has the year. So I did get that gavel.
(11:30):
Wow. Wow. I love that story. I had my mic muted in the middle.
I did have a little bit of a chuckle at one moment in there.
Just thinking about you with that gavel.
And I'm wondering, was that in your mind, the holding of the gavel in your mind as you were moving towards this goal?
(11:51):
I think what it was is that that gavel represented power.
And that's what I wanted, was I wanted the power.
Because in order for me to get that gavel, I had to be in a position of power to bang that gavel when it was time to start that meeting.
As a sophomore in high school, I was thinking about the politics of it all or whatever.
I just wanted that power. Whatever the reason is, why you want something, as long as it's strong enough for you to weather the storm, you'll get there.
(12:20):
Exactly. Exactly. I love that.
Now, what if just the thought of what if you get to a point in your life where you're losing your sense of what your why is for whatever reason?
There could be many reasons why we lose track of our purpose or our why, right? Why we're doing things.
(12:41):
For example, I want to be an actor and am an actor now, right?
But somewhere along the journey, I started to feel like I was losing a little bit of the reason about why I wanted to do this.
There can be moments in your career where you start to wonder, why am I doing this again?
(13:06):
Because you can get tossed from one end of the spectrum to the other.
And as far as your emotion, how you're feeling about it, just the experience you're having, it can be wonderful at one moment and then just very disappointing.
Or it will run the gamut of everything because it's a volatile career, right?
From financial aspect to the emotional aspect to everything, because you're giving everything.
(13:27):
You're giving your whole self to this. You are your product.
And it's you that's out there every day is the product.
Moving forward, just I reached that point for myself as an actor where I started to wonder, why am I doing this?
Why? And I had put a lot of it on, OK, my family really believes in me.
(13:49):
I've got to make sure I become successful to warrant all the support that they show me over the years.
And I put a lot of pressure on myself to live up to this expectation that they never put on me, by the way.
They just said, look, you just do your best. We believe in you, which is amazing, by the way.
(14:10):
Thank you, family. My goodness. You know, like it is amazing.
And at the time, I couldn't really fully appreciate that feeling because I was so busy putting all this pressure saying I better live up to all the support.
I better just I better make this happen. I have to make this happen so it can prove that they believed in me for the right reason that I really going to be successful.
(14:33):
So I lost the joy of of acting just for the sake of enjoying it.
Yeah, please. One thing that you are hitting on is that you were you were strangling your dreams.
You've now held your dreams hostage and said that, OK, now you must do this for this reason.
(14:54):
A lot of us can be in that same boat with whatever it is we're trying to do, because all of the other reasons that aren't necessarily our why,
they might be someone else's why for us that we've kind of internalized, we've internalized their why that they distract us of why we're doing it.
Why am I doing it? When you start strangling your dreams, you will feel you feel that pressure.
(15:18):
If you put your hand on your neck and you apply pressure, that's what you feel spiritually and energetically.
And it is becomes difficult to perform. That's it. That's exactly it.
You couldn't have said that better. Such great insight there, because that's exactly what happened.
It did start to put a chokehold on my dreams, on my ability to present and perform and really just have joy in what I was doing,
(15:43):
because it would just be looming there, this looming better do this well, I better do this right, I better succeed because.
And it's not my why anymore, just some some made up why that I put pressure on myself to achieve. Right.
Yeah. And I think I also want to point this out.
When we talk about apply your why, when your why is strong enough, you win.
(16:04):
I know a lot of us can think about the act of actually winning or losing, but the application of the why you've won already.
So whether or not the outcome is I booked this role or I got this million dollars or whatever the case may be,
that those are just goals along the way. You've already won because now you put your why in motion
(16:25):
because you don't know the how of how stuff is going to take place and nor is it your job to know the how.
When you start to try to control how it's going to happen, that's when you start to lose a lot of the essence of it all.
So just by applying your why, you're already winning because the application of your why today can be the win two years from now.
(16:53):
And you don't know what that's going to look like. But, you know, I'm going in this direction,
which is why we have to have these goals, because there are multiple ways to get there.
There are multiple ways to win. And you just have to just go on the journey and kind of release and let go and enjoy the ride.
And some days it's harder than others to enjoy the ride. And you have to remind yourself.
That's why I say write your goals down, not because you forgot what they are.
(17:14):
So you can remind your body, remind your mind, remind your soul. Why?
Just to put in there, we do have an episode. Remind your mind. Go check that one out.
Check it out. Check out. Remind your mind. Remind your mind and apply your why.
It all connects. It all connects. Yeah, I just want to I want to go back to that very key point that you made about how the how hops in.
(17:41):
Right. When we start asking how that again, that's not our job. Right. Go, go.
You're like, no, this is actually not part of it. But it is so married to the apply your why.
We immediately our mind will go, but how?
And it's always that seed of but how that can lead you down the road to unhappiness.
(18:04):
Well, what I was thinking about with the how part and not worrying about the how is takes us back to many of childhood
cartoons and movies where the parents saying to the child, OK, this thing is going to be happening.
And what the child say? Why? And then the parent responds, says another fact or something.
(18:27):
And then they say why? And it just continues until either the child gives up or the parent says, because I said so or whatever.
However, it ends. And we also do that in acting.
When you're discovering a character, they say, ask why until you can't ask why anymore.
Then you've discovered everything you need to know about this character in there does not say anything about the how.
(18:49):
How is not mentioned at all. It's always why.
And that really is trying to teach us to have a strong why for what you're doing.
Any time someone does something wrong, commits a crime, the police always bring the person in.
So why did you do that? Because they're always trying to look for the motive, the motive behind what the crime was.
So even in crime, detectives are trying to figure out why.
(19:12):
And when they're trying to figure out who the criminal is and they ask why someone would do this thing, that can get them closer to the person they're looking for.
And then when they bring the person in, they ask him why.
And it's because of so and so and such as that just happened when I was a kid or whatever happened.
And that was the why why they did that, because we have to we need to conceptualize and understand why.
(19:33):
So why is important in really so many different aspects.
So if the police are asking why, figuring out why criminals are doing stuff, then why wouldn't you ask why for your life?
Why wouldn't you ask why for your goals? Why wouldn't you apply that why on the positive side of things?
So apply your why.
Go Go, I love that you just took us on a whole journey with apply your why.
(19:57):
And I'm still curious because I know that you've got some more stories that you wanted to share.
And I have one that's that's just been bubbling up like this whole time as well.
Go ahead and share your story. Hop in there.
I am really feeling this. So last summer, I had a wonderful experience.
I went to a Tony Robbins event and it was a very powerful event.
(20:19):
I really got something out of it that I didn't expect.
And one of the key moments for me was a specific exercise that he took us through,
where he had the entire group really think through this question in a way.
He didn't put it in these exact words that we're using in this podcast,
(20:41):
but it was really thinking about why are we doing what we're doing in our lives?
What is driving us and what is going to make us change the course that we're on right now?
The exercise was so powerful in the sense that I really got to look at my life
(21:02):
from the perspective of someone who hadn't made the changes and hadn't found out what their why was.
Wow. And he took us emotionally, physically, mentally through 10 years from now.
What that life looks like when you haven't applied it 20 years from now,
(21:22):
when you still haven't applied any purpose to your life 30 years from now.
And what do you look like when you look at yourself in the mirror?
Who's looking back at you at that point in your life?
And something literally has switched.
(21:42):
I can't go back to who I was before I did this exercise and I don't want to,
because what happened is I decided we went to the other side of that.
And that was also the most powerful thing is that you got to experience,
OK, the other side of that. What if you did apply?
What if you did do it?
And the elation that you feel in this, I want to say it's an exercise in, it's a type of mental exercise.
(22:11):
I can't remember the name of it. I'll have to look it up.
But the point is you go on this journey and by the end of it,
you actually see your life entirely different and you can't go back.
So that was what came to mind. You've been talking about the apply or why.
If you don't feel it, I think there's also a chance that you won't be able to hook into it in a way.
(22:35):
It can feel sort of like in, well, it is intangible,
but you've got to grab onto it in some way that makes sense to you.
But if you grab onto whatever that why is, I would just urge everyone that is thinking about,
well, especially if you don't know what your why is yet, make it as real to you as possible.
(23:01):
I love that. I love that because you don't have to have all the answers all at once.
You need a direction and your why becomes stronger as you become clearer with what it is that you want.
Me as an actor, one of the things that I love to do is if I want something that's going to cost money,
I say, OK, let me just book another job.
(23:22):
I've said that so many times and that has been the answer to a lot of my things that I want.
If I want something monetarily, that is not necessarily a necessity.
I said, let me book another job and I'll go do that thing.
That's that delayed gratification piece that we talked about earlier,
because sometimes I see something that I want.
I don't know, let me book another job.
Then I'll come get that thing. Then I'll book a job.
(23:44):
I realize, I actually I really want it because now that I have the money to actually get it,
it's like, oh, OK, I want to do something else with my money.
And that will really tell you because money is a great way to to kind of gauge
how you really feel about something if you're willing to spend your hard earned cash money on that thing.
(24:05):
So for me, it's like, OK, if I want something, let me go book a job and then I'll know if I actually want it.
And so my other story is I'm going to the Missy Elliott concert.
This is my birthday present to myself and I wanted a certain ticket.
So I said, I want I want these tickets and they cost a certain amount of money.
I said, well, I need to book another job in order for me to make that happen.
So I did book a job, wasn't enough to pay for the tickets,
(24:26):
but I ended up getting a residual from another job, which was more than the cost of the tickets.
And then I realized, OK, so I have that.
So I could actually pay for that thing down. Do I do I really want it?
Do I want these are they worth that to me?
And, you know, in having these real conversations because now the money is right in front of me.
And then another set of funds came in from my refund from taxes.
(24:49):
Amen. I did my taxes.
So then it's like, OK, now I really can get it.
And so then, you know, now making decision of like, OK, what can what else can I be doing with that money?
Because I'm still going to the concert and I'll be I'll be sitting wherever I'll be sitting somewhere.
And I've gotten clearance from from God that, yes, get to get those tickets.
You're going to be just fine.
(25:10):
But now I have to, you know, be OK with it within myself and say, OK, I am going to get these tickets.
And so I didn't worry about the how I thought it was going to be for me booking another voiceover job,
but it ended up being something I had already booked.
So, again, I let the how go and I set a direction.
I set a course. I set a destination.
(25:31):
How I got there wasn't my concern.
I just went along for the journey.
When you set the destination, set the course of where you want to go.
Yes, you're in the driver's seat and you see the directions on the GPS.
You're not holding the steering wheel stiff.
You're not holding it stiff. You're just easily driving.
OK, turn left, turn right. Oh, did you make a wrong turn?
(25:52):
OK, then OK, then reroutes.
That's what happens in life.
You set your destination of where you want to go in life, and sometimes you make a wrong turn.
And that's OK, because your inner self will reroute.
It may take you a little longer to get there, which is fine, but you still get there.
Exactly. I've been trying to apply this.
What you're talking about.
This is such great advice.
(26:13):
And I've been applying it in the moment.
My brain has been rerouting throughout this entire podcast.
And I am so grateful that, first of all, Gogo is editing this episode and you won't be able to hear all of those outtakes unless you join our our YouTube channel.
Maybe you'll see some of those.
Maybe you see some of the bonus content on the YouTube.
(26:37):
But rerouting rerouting, that's a great way to think about it.
And I think that is exactly it.
We do have moments where we need to just go with the flow and just go with where life is taking us and not keep asking, well, how is this going to turn out?
Right. Because the how.
(26:57):
Oh, wow. Wow. The how can question your faith.
So if you are worried about the how, then now you are starting to lose faith because you're trying to control it.
And it's not your job.
It's called ask, believe, receive, not ask, believe, control, receive.
(27:19):
Little extra, the extra stuff we throw in there because we're feeling things aren't going the way we thought they were going to go in our head can really distract us from our dreams.
Exactly. It can also distract you in the moment.
Like I said, I just I'm bringing that back up again because I'm calling myself out in the moment.
I was really trying to control in some way.
There was some part of me that was going, oh, I need to control the way these words are coming out of my mouth right now.
(27:44):
I don't sound the way I want to sound.
Oh, I need to give up.
That was like literally like thought going on.
So I'm like, OK, no, let me like redirect.
And first of all, I asked for help.
You guys didn't see that part. I was like raising my hand.
I'm like, oh, no, no.
And we rerouted and he helped to reroute.
Yeah, I mean, I think that's also part of it is asking for help.
(28:07):
There you go. Yes. So drop that other age at the other one.
Don't ask how. Ask for help.
Oh, there you go.
Oh, boy. Go, go.
I love it. I love the other age.
Right. Many people have said and this is these aren't my words.
But if your dream doesn't include someone else, it's not big enough.
(28:31):
So you have to dream bigger. I'll say it again.
If your dream does not include someone else, it's not big enough.
Because if you can just do it by yourself, then there's nothing to have faith in
because you can just do it by yourself.
You have to ask some people into the equation.
Who you're affecting, who you're changing, who's going to help you along the way,
who's going to be is going to be moved by whatever is that you present into the world.
(28:55):
If your dreams do not include other people, it is not big enough.
If you don't feel uncomfortable a little bit with your dreams,
you need to dream bigger. Come on.
Dream bigger. Apply your why.
Love it.
Thank you all for listening to another episode of Morning Motivation with
(29:20):
GoGo and Natasha.
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com