December 23, 2024 • 24 mins
Discover the power of clear decision-making in this enlightening episode! We delve into the subtle art of manipulation hidden in the word "maybe" and uncover how it can cloud our intentions and interactions. Learn the crucial role of accountability and discernment in our daily communications, and how facing pain directly can kickstart a transformative healing process.
We also explore insights from "The Power of Decision" by Raymond Charles Barker, revealing how your subconscious mind influences your daily living and future planning. By embracing decisiveness and authenticity, you'll learn to navigate life's challenges with clarity, enhancing personal growth and transformation. Join us as we transform uncertainty into definitive choices and find freedom in clear communication.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Morning Motivation with GoGo and Natasha.
(00:19):
Welcome to Morning Motivation with GoGo and Natasha.
We are here and I'm so excited that we are here and hi Natasha.
Hi GoGo, how are you?
I am doing well and so excited to be here with another great episode of Morning Motivation.
(00:43):
These topics that we choose just really get created so organically.
Yeah, they just come out, they just appear.
Out of the ether.
Out of our conversations, our real conversations.
Real conversations, real people, GoGo and Natasha.
That was going to be the other title of the show but it was way too long and our producers
(01:03):
were like, the marketing is not good.
We can't fit it all in the byline.
We can't fit it all there because our producers are British and for those that didn't know,
our producers and PAs are British and also billionaires.
Jeff?
Jeff?
Can you?
Yeah, put down that package.
You're coming over here.
Bring me my water.
(01:24):
Thank you Jeff.
He just had a sip of water for those who can't see.
I did.
I did.
Thank you Jeff.
We appreciate it.
Bezos that is if anyone was wondering who that is.
He was at your place last time.
He was.
He was.
He defected to GoGo's.
Is William over there?
William?
Wait, who's William?
(01:45):
Gates.
He is, he's in everybody's home in the form of Microsoft Suite.
I think William has a heated, he has heated floors in his house.
Oh that sounds lovely to wake up to every day.
(02:08):
Right.
That would motivate me beyond a doubt.
I would be motivated, okay.
We are motivated, but we still manage to find the motivation, don't we?
We do.
Without the heated floors or Jeff bringing me water, the motivation is still there.
How do we do it?
(02:29):
We're going to share that with you.
We have an amazing topic.
Let's tell them what it is.
Don't live in maybe.
Don't live in maybe.
How many times someone asks you, you ask someone to, Hey, do you want to come to this party
(02:52):
with me?
And they say, maybe.
What?
What do I do with that?
What do we do with maybe?
Nothing.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
That has been our time.
We appreciate you.
No, I mean, there's so, there's so much there.
(03:13):
And you shared the story with me, the full story.
So tell the story and how you shared it with me this morning.
Yeah.
So one of my friends, she's a great friend of mine.
We've done a lot of work together.
We're in this movie together and they're doing a, a test screening for audiences to kind
of see how people receive the film here in LA.
(03:36):
And I was already scheduled to work because I am a working actor and it also works at
other places to support my working actor lifestyle.
Amen.
And I was already scheduled to work.
And so I told her, I said, well, right now it's a no.
If I booked this commercial that I am being considered for, then I cannot go to my other
job and come to the screening.
(03:57):
And that was my logic because I need to be fiscally responsible.
So say right now to know where some people may have said, Oh, maybe I'll see if I can
make it or I'll try.
And I don't, I don't live in maybe it's yes or no.
And if I tell someone, Hey, right now it's a no.
So I want you to expect me not to be there because I've told you what to know.
And that way they know how to move forward because if you give someone a definitive answer,
(04:22):
they then know how to move forward in the direction that they need to go.
But I say, I'm not going to be there.
Then you know not to expect me there unless I tell you otherwise.
And that type of decision-making can really change your life.
And you can really move in ways that make sense and that people can depend on you.
(04:45):
If you say yes, that you're going to do something, then they expect that you're going to do that
thing.
That's the story.
And that's kind of how this conversation topic was birthed because I've seen so many people
I've asked to come do stuff and they tell me maybe, and I look at them with the same
look I'm looking at the camera right now.
What does that even mean?
(05:06):
Yeah, no, that's that that all spoke to me and harken back to a time, a time when I was
trying to be Mrs. Nice Woman.
Let me give an introduction to Mrs. Nice Woman thinks it's okay to say maybe because even
though she might not actually want to go to the party, like someone extends an invitation,
(05:32):
if I say maybe that leaves an opening to say, well, actually, I can't make it.
That's not actually very nice to do that.
How many people out there can relate to wanting to be nice, quote unquote, and instead of
just coming out and saying what you actually mean, which is either yes or no, you use the
(05:55):
maybe is kind of like a scapegoat to then edge your way out of doing whatever thing
you've been asked to definitively decide to do.
We see you we see you raising your hands out there.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm right there with you raising my hand because I was one of those people who did that habitually.
(06:17):
And the reason that I did it was to avoid feeling like I was going to hurt someone else's
feelings.
Wow, at its core, there's a level of care that's there.
I don't want to hurt someone else's feelings.
But knowing that in the end, their feelings are still gonna get hurt because you're not
(06:41):
gonna be there.
You're not you're not showing up.
I'm going to pause on hurting you now just to hurt you later.
And that's what a lot of us have done.
I've definitely told people maybe in the past for sure.
I've done that many times before I don't do it anymore.
But yeah, and that's the core of it is you are just you're procrastinating pain.
(07:01):
You're procrastinating pain.
Oh, come on.
Okay, that is that's it right there.
That's the button that you're going to remember because you're going to be in pain either
now or later.
And you might as well just get it over with.
Right.
And you can start the healing process now.
(07:24):
I can't come to your party.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And when you make that practice, what it does is it makes you more definitive and other
parts of your life.
Yes.
Yes.
And that brings me to this wonderful book that I've read called The Power of Decision
(07:46):
by Raymond Charles Barker, and I want to read just a little bit of an excerpt for you.
And this section is called Decide to Control Your Life.
If you decide to take control of your life and determine what will take place in your
everyday living and creative planning for the future, you need the knowledge just presented.
(08:11):
Your control depends upon your conscious awareness that your individual subconscious mind is
a law of cause and effect.
Nothing has ever happened to you or taken place around you that was not the result of
your subconscious mind.
That is a big statement, but it is true.
(08:32):
You may mentally argue that it is not so, but eventually you will realize that it is
so.
And mic drop.
Mic drop.
What?
What?
I mean, in the pauses that that was a sound effect going in there because that was the
(08:56):
mic like we was dropping hard.
Decide to control your life.
Natasha, how does that speak to you in that way of taking responsibility for your life?
I have to say like immediately when I heard that quote, it made me think of Neville Goddard
(09:22):
and Feeling is the Secret.
Have you heard of this book?
No, tell me more.
So Neville Goddard, he wrote, I believe it's a short book and I haven't actually seen the
book itself because I found it on YouTube.
It was a video series and I, you know, I listened to a lot of material on metaphysics, on positive
(09:48):
thinking and all that sort of material.
I like to feed my mind in the morning, really positive, different things.
And throughout the day, you know, just when that energy starts to dip and I'll look for
things like this and Neville popped up and he talks about specifically what you mentioned
in this book excerpt about the subconscious mind and how it is really creating your whole
(10:16):
life for you.
Whether you're aware of it or not, it's just understanding how you work in tandem, in cooperation
with your subconscious mind.
So when you're saying what we're talking about today, don't live in the maybe, if you're
saying maybe your subconscious mind can only recreate for you situations that are going
(10:41):
to be neither here nor there.
Like living in murky waters.
Yes.
And it can feel that way.
It can feel like you're just swimming through mud, right?
You look in, you can't see anything.
It's just all cloudy murky.
(11:03):
Yes.
And my question to the people and persons out there is how do you depend on maybe when
someone asks you, Hey, are you going to do your homework assignment?
(11:24):
Maybe someone asked you, Hey, can you pick me up?
From the airport at 3pm.
Maybe Hey, you asked your doctor, doctor, are you
going to be there for the birth of my child to help me through the child labor?
Maybe what?
(11:45):
You know, there's, there's not a situation where maybe is appropriate.
I'm sure there is one particular one that's an extreme and I'm sure we'll, someone will
comment it in the ethers of the internet, I will go back and forth with you on that
and we can talk about that then.
But in the major decision life questions where something needs to get done, if it's maybe
(12:08):
how confident do you feel that that thing will be done?
If you ask your doctor, Hey, are you trained enough to do this job?
Maybe you ask your mechanic, mechanic, can you change this oil correctly?
The more I say it, the more I see how maybe is so dangerous because you can't depend on
(12:30):
maybe you can depend on a no or we can depend on a yes.
But maybe is, and that goes back to our bounce back to slight edge where we talk about you're
either trending up or trending down.
There is no neutral space.
Yes.
There's no neutral space.
Exactly.
Oh, wow.
(12:52):
Okay.
Okay.
When you put it into the context of slight edge, this is a book that go go and I will
talk about again and again and again, because I believe that that whole graph, once you
see it, you can't unsee it when you're and I recommend anyone, everyone who has not taken
(13:13):
a look at this material yet to just at least check out that graph, you can look it up very
quickly on, you know, online.
So the trending up trending down is a perfect visual representation of what's happening
with the when you're living and maybe when you're living and maybe you are definitely
(13:33):
just on the downward trend.
It's just each each rung down.
It's like you're just taking one more step down.
Oh, that I can feel I can see it now and I can feel it and it just feels icky.
I mean, I've been in that situation where I've been, you know, for years on years saying
(13:55):
maybe not in all areas of my life.
And you know, it's just over here a little bit, especially like with the first example
that you provided for us at the start of the episode, which is going to the party.
Someone says, Can you make it to this party?
You told them a definitive answer.
No, no, I won't be there.
(14:17):
You set up their expectation.
They're not expecting or but I spent years and years telling people maybe because I was
worried about hurting their feelings when I didn't give them enough credit to know,
hey, they can handle their own feelings.
They just need to know they just need to know what my decision is.
Is it yes or no?
Oh, I'm out there, I'm out there, put a pause right there because you just hit something
(14:43):
and and I don't even know if you know you hit it, but you just hit something when you
talk about someone's feelings that maybe is you trying to control that person's perspective
and you think that, oh, I'm doing you a service because I'm not trying to hurt you.
I'm trying to control them so that the hurt comes later.
That's what it is.
It's a control thing because maybe still gives you some modicum of control over that scenario.
(15:09):
It's not a strong grass, but it's something there because no, it's a release.
Yes, it's a hold on to.
But maybe is my hands have on have off.
Wow.
This is a huge thing.
The control and so.
Goodness, that could be a whole spin off episode.
I see it like spinning off.
(15:30):
I write control is in there and I know it's real because I feel the icky feeling.
It's like, oh, that's it.
Yes.
What just came to me is maybe is manipulation.
About it.
(15:52):
About it.
That's another button.
Maybe is manipulation.
Maybe is manipulation and no one likes to be manipulated.
You know, when you're being manipulated, you can feel it and sometimes you don't feel until
after the fact because they're people that are really good manipulators because they
(16:12):
spend their lives manipulating people.
So sometimes you don't even know it's happened until after the fact.
But those that have any piece of discernment can say, okay, you, this person is, is manipulating
me and that's exactly what maybe does.
Now, of course, maybe is when I say it in that context, people are like, wow, that's
so extreme because yes, yes, it's not a knife cutting your throat.
(16:35):
No, it is.
It is a pin pricking your thumb.
Yet and still in both situations, you still bleed.
And that is why maybe is manipulation and we have to move out of that space so that
we as a whole human race can be more accountable to each other and be more dependable to each
other.
(16:55):
So people know how to move about luckily you're not going to be there.
Great.
Okay.
I can move on or you are going to be there.
Awesome.
I know I can give you this task.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I love, I love all of that.
Go, go.
It's also to say, you know, I could maybe understand maybe maybe how that word get in
there.
(17:16):
I can understand how hearing the word.
Okay.
So you're saying maybe, you know, there's manipulation there.
It can be on different levels.
There's a scale, of course.
Some people are very conscious.
They're conscious of the manipulation.
Others, they're not.
(17:37):
We use that word casually in our society today.
Just look around you today and see how many times you see that word being used.
Let's start to be aware of that and also how it's affecting our understanding of how what
you've just described, we could be more dependable and accountable to one another.
(18:00):
And is that really part of the society that we live in?
Do we want that as a society?
Is that what we're showing each other in all these different interactions we're having?
It might not be baked in already to our society to be dependable.
For example, you can work somewhere and you're not supported sometimes in saying yes or no
(18:24):
in the workplace.
You're supported when you say something that gives you wiggle room.
It is important to really approach this from different angles because you have the social
situation right, but then you have the work environment.
And how does maybe creep into the work environment and kind of poison that arena?
(18:48):
Is that a whole other topic?
Is that too big for our morning motivation?
I think it's right in there because when you think about getting to work, are you coming
in?
Maybe.
There's no confidence there.
But then when you actually get into work, there's a specific task that needs to be done.
And there's different ways to say maybe, you know, I'm going to work on getting to that
(19:10):
so that I may be able to accomplish that task at a later date.
What I just said was maybe, you know, it gives me that ability to have that freedom that
I'm trying to hold on to with whatever it is I'm trying to do.
And that does create an environment of indecision and of I want to say non belief, but like
(19:33):
I now I'm questioning is this actually going to get done?
That maybe makes them want to like, let me bring more people on this project because
I think this person is not going to be dependable enough to get this done.
And that's how that flows sometimes, which is really unfortunate.
Whereas if you just said, no, I need help.
Okay, let me give you some help.
(19:55):
But like you saying that may then say, okay, you can't do your job.
Maybe I have to then find another person.
You know, even the same that maybe I have to find another person that's creating the
manipulation of like, oh, okay, now you're feeling like you may be replaced.
Now you're feeling like your job security is being infringed upon.
You know, when they say, well, maybe I need to replace you.
(20:17):
Well, maybe you need some help.
Oh, it's been used from both perspectives, which I think is just not healthy.
It's not healthy at all.
But it's it's an important aspect of the maybe that is a it's it's larger.
And it starts to when it's starting to affect your economic access, that's when it becomes
(20:41):
really, really impactful.
How you know, using that maybe.
Hmm.
Wow.
Wow.
That's I didn't think we were going to go there.
I never know where these conversations are going to go, but I'm so happy they went there.
What it makes me want to think about is in my life, where can indecision be changed to
(21:08):
decision?
I'm pretty decisive in a lot of areas of my life.
But then there's still some areas that I can be more decisive upon.
And now it's about like digging deeper into how can I remove maybe out of my life?
That's like a challenge.
That sounds like a challenge that the audience can also take on.
(21:29):
Right.
I would love I would love to take that challenge on what are the areas of your life that you
can remove maybe from now?
What I'm thinking about this is probably another topic, but I'm going to touch on it a little
hot button topic is how does maybe and hope relate to each other?
(21:54):
OK.
Well, that's interesting.
Yes.
It's like that's like, wait, where we're going with this?
Because when you say to someone.
I hope I can make it.
(22:15):
I'm like, maybe sounds a lot like a cousin to hope I hope I can be there.
There's many, yeah, there's many different exactly.
The word maybe might not be actually used, but it could be an adjacent word or an adjacent
(22:37):
phrase.
So anything that is maybe adjacent, you also need to start being become aware of how that's
being used.
Right.
Absolutely.
Now when you go down that train, maybe you start to see the different ways that maybe
appears because maybe can have many different faces.
And so you have to identify where are the maybes in your life and where can I change
(23:01):
those maybes to more definitive choices?
Maybe I'll stop smoking.
What?
Maybe I'll ask for a raise.
All these different things create murky waters for you.
And it's much easier to make a choice and take on the responsibility of that choice
(23:21):
and then move forward to the next choice.
So well said.
That puts a bow on this brilliant conversation this morning.
And I hope everyone enjoyed wherever you were listening, whatever time of day.
This is your space to think about what motivates you and the areas of your life.
(23:43):
We're here to talk with you about it.
You have comments, questions, put them below in the comments.
And we're going to be talking with you about more in the weeks ahead.
And this has been a pleasure to talk with you, GoGo about Don't Live in the Maybe.
(24:03):
Don't Live in the Maybe.
Thank you for listening to another episode of Morning Motivation with GoGo and Natasha.
Morning Motivation with GoGo and Natasha.
(00:19):
Welcome to Morning Motivation with GoGo and Natasha.
We are here and I'm so excited that we are here and hi Natasha.
Hi GoGo, how are you?
I am doing well and so excited to be here with another great episode of Morning Motivation.
(00:43):
These topics that we choose just really get created so organically.
Yeah, they just come out, they just appear.
Out of the ether.
Out of our conversations, our real conversations.
Real conversations, real people, GoGo and Natasha.
That was going to be the other title of the show but it was way too long and our producers
(01:03):
were like, the marketing is not good.
We can't fit it all in the byline.
We can't fit it all there because our producers are British and for those that didn't know,
our producers and PAs are British and also billionaires.
Jeff?
Jeff?
Can you?
Yeah, put down that package.
You're coming over here.
Bring me my water.
(01:24):
Thank you Jeff.
He just had a sip of water for those who can't see.
I did.
I did.
Thank you Jeff.
We appreciate it.
Bezos that is if anyone was wondering who that is.
He was at your place last time.
He was.
He was.
He defected to GoGo's.
Is William over there?
William?
Wait, who's William?
(01:45):
Gates.
He is, he's in everybody's home in the form of Microsoft Suite.
I think William has a heated, he has heated floors in his house.
Oh that sounds lovely to wake up to every day.
(02:08):
Right.
That would motivate me beyond a doubt.
I would be motivated, okay.
We are motivated, but we still manage to find the motivation, don't we?
We do.
Without the heated floors or Jeff bringing me water, the motivation is still there.
How do we do it?
(02:29):
We're going to share that with you.
We have an amazing topic.
Let's tell them what it is.
Don't live in maybe.
Don't live in maybe.
How many times someone asks you, you ask someone to, Hey, do you want to come to this party
(02:52):
with me?
And they say, maybe.
What?
What do I do with that?
What do we do with maybe?
Nothing.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
That has been our time.
We appreciate you.
No, I mean, there's so, there's so much there.
(03:13):
And you shared the story with me, the full story.
So tell the story and how you shared it with me this morning.
Yeah.
So one of my friends, she's a great friend of mine.
We've done a lot of work together.
We're in this movie together and they're doing a, a test screening for audiences to kind
of see how people receive the film here in LA.
(03:36):
And I was already scheduled to work because I am a working actor and it also works at
other places to support my working actor lifestyle.
Amen.
And I was already scheduled to work.
And so I told her, I said, well, right now it's a no.
If I booked this commercial that I am being considered for, then I cannot go to my other
job and come to the screening.
(03:57):
And that was my logic because I need to be fiscally responsible.
So say right now to know where some people may have said, Oh, maybe I'll see if I can
make it or I'll try.
And I don't, I don't live in maybe it's yes or no.
And if I tell someone, Hey, right now it's a no.
So I want you to expect me not to be there because I've told you what to know.
And that way they know how to move forward because if you give someone a definitive answer,
(04:22):
they then know how to move forward in the direction that they need to go.
But I say, I'm not going to be there.
Then you know not to expect me there unless I tell you otherwise.
And that type of decision-making can really change your life.
And you can really move in ways that make sense and that people can depend on you.
(04:45):
If you say yes, that you're going to do something, then they expect that you're going to do that
thing.
That's the story.
And that's kind of how this conversation topic was birthed because I've seen so many people
I've asked to come do stuff and they tell me maybe, and I look at them with the same
look I'm looking at the camera right now.
What does that even mean?
(05:06):
Yeah, no, that's that that all spoke to me and harken back to a time, a time when I was
trying to be Mrs. Nice Woman.
Let me give an introduction to Mrs. Nice Woman thinks it's okay to say maybe because even
though she might not actually want to go to the party, like someone extends an invitation,
(05:32):
if I say maybe that leaves an opening to say, well, actually, I can't make it.
That's not actually very nice to do that.
How many people out there can relate to wanting to be nice, quote unquote, and instead of
just coming out and saying what you actually mean, which is either yes or no, you use the
(05:55):
maybe is kind of like a scapegoat to then edge your way out of doing whatever thing
you've been asked to definitively decide to do.
We see you we see you raising your hands out there.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm right there with you raising my hand because I was one of those people who did that habitually.
(06:17):
And the reason that I did it was to avoid feeling like I was going to hurt someone else's
feelings.
Wow, at its core, there's a level of care that's there.
I don't want to hurt someone else's feelings.
But knowing that in the end, their feelings are still gonna get hurt because you're not
(06:41):
gonna be there.
You're not you're not showing up.
I'm going to pause on hurting you now just to hurt you later.
And that's what a lot of us have done.
I've definitely told people maybe in the past for sure.
I've done that many times before I don't do it anymore.
But yeah, and that's the core of it is you are just you're procrastinating pain.
(07:01):
You're procrastinating pain.
Oh, come on.
Okay, that is that's it right there.
That's the button that you're going to remember because you're going to be in pain either
now or later.
And you might as well just get it over with.
Right.
And you can start the healing process now.
(07:24):
I can't come to your party.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And when you make that practice, what it does is it makes you more definitive and other
parts of your life.
Yes.
Yes.
And that brings me to this wonderful book that I've read called The Power of Decision
(07:46):
by Raymond Charles Barker, and I want to read just a little bit of an excerpt for you.
And this section is called Decide to Control Your Life.
If you decide to take control of your life and determine what will take place in your
everyday living and creative planning for the future, you need the knowledge just presented.
(08:11):
Your control depends upon your conscious awareness that your individual subconscious mind is
a law of cause and effect.
Nothing has ever happened to you or taken place around you that was not the result of
your subconscious mind.
That is a big statement, but it is true.
(08:32):
You may mentally argue that it is not so, but eventually you will realize that it is
so.
And mic drop.
Mic drop.
What?
What?
I mean, in the pauses that that was a sound effect going in there because that was the
(08:56):
mic like we was dropping hard.
Decide to control your life.
Natasha, how does that speak to you in that way of taking responsibility for your life?
I have to say like immediately when I heard that quote, it made me think of Neville Goddard
(09:22):
and Feeling is the Secret.
Have you heard of this book?
No, tell me more.
So Neville Goddard, he wrote, I believe it's a short book and I haven't actually seen the
book itself because I found it on YouTube.
It was a video series and I, you know, I listened to a lot of material on metaphysics, on positive
(09:48):
thinking and all that sort of material.
I like to feed my mind in the morning, really positive, different things.
And throughout the day, you know, just when that energy starts to dip and I'll look for
things like this and Neville popped up and he talks about specifically what you mentioned
in this book excerpt about the subconscious mind and how it is really creating your whole
(10:16):
life for you.
Whether you're aware of it or not, it's just understanding how you work in tandem, in cooperation
with your subconscious mind.
So when you're saying what we're talking about today, don't live in the maybe, if you're
saying maybe your subconscious mind can only recreate for you situations that are going
(10:41):
to be neither here nor there.
Like living in murky waters.
Yes.
And it can feel that way.
It can feel like you're just swimming through mud, right?
You look in, you can't see anything.
It's just all cloudy murky.
(11:03):
Yes.
And my question to the people and persons out there is how do you depend on maybe when
someone asks you, Hey, are you going to do your homework assignment?
(11:24):
Maybe someone asked you, Hey, can you pick me up?
From the airport at 3pm.
Maybe Hey, you asked your doctor, doctor, are you
going to be there for the birth of my child to help me through the child labor?
Maybe what?
(11:45):
You know, there's, there's not a situation where maybe is appropriate.
I'm sure there is one particular one that's an extreme and I'm sure we'll, someone will
comment it in the ethers of the internet, I will go back and forth with you on that
and we can talk about that then.
But in the major decision life questions where something needs to get done, if it's maybe
(12:08):
how confident do you feel that that thing will be done?
If you ask your doctor, Hey, are you trained enough to do this job?
Maybe you ask your mechanic, mechanic, can you change this oil correctly?
The more I say it, the more I see how maybe is so dangerous because you can't depend on
(12:30):
maybe you can depend on a no or we can depend on a yes.
But maybe is, and that goes back to our bounce back to slight edge where we talk about you're
either trending up or trending down.
There is no neutral space.
Yes.
There's no neutral space.
Exactly.
Oh, wow.
(12:52):
Okay.
Okay.
When you put it into the context of slight edge, this is a book that go go and I will
talk about again and again and again, because I believe that that whole graph, once you
see it, you can't unsee it when you're and I recommend anyone, everyone who has not taken
(13:13):
a look at this material yet to just at least check out that graph, you can look it up very
quickly on, you know, online.
So the trending up trending down is a perfect visual representation of what's happening
with the when you're living and maybe when you're living and maybe you are definitely
(13:33):
just on the downward trend.
It's just each each rung down.
It's like you're just taking one more step down.
Oh, that I can feel I can see it now and I can feel it and it just feels icky.
I mean, I've been in that situation where I've been, you know, for years on years saying
(13:55):
maybe not in all areas of my life.
And you know, it's just over here a little bit, especially like with the first example
that you provided for us at the start of the episode, which is going to the party.
Someone says, Can you make it to this party?
You told them a definitive answer.
No, no, I won't be there.
(14:17):
You set up their expectation.
They're not expecting or but I spent years and years telling people maybe because I was
worried about hurting their feelings when I didn't give them enough credit to know,
hey, they can handle their own feelings.
They just need to know they just need to know what my decision is.
Is it yes or no?
Oh, I'm out there, I'm out there, put a pause right there because you just hit something
(14:43):
and and I don't even know if you know you hit it, but you just hit something when you
talk about someone's feelings that maybe is you trying to control that person's perspective
and you think that, oh, I'm doing you a service because I'm not trying to hurt you.
I'm trying to control them so that the hurt comes later.
That's what it is.
It's a control thing because maybe still gives you some modicum of control over that scenario.
(15:09):
It's not a strong grass, but it's something there because no, it's a release.
Yes, it's a hold on to.
But maybe is my hands have on have off.
Wow.
This is a huge thing.
The control and so.
Goodness, that could be a whole spin off episode.
I see it like spinning off.
(15:30):
I write control is in there and I know it's real because I feel the icky feeling.
It's like, oh, that's it.
Yes.
What just came to me is maybe is manipulation.
About it.
(15:52):
About it.
That's another button.
Maybe is manipulation.
Maybe is manipulation and no one likes to be manipulated.
You know, when you're being manipulated, you can feel it and sometimes you don't feel until
after the fact because they're people that are really good manipulators because they
(16:12):
spend their lives manipulating people.
So sometimes you don't even know it's happened until after the fact.
But those that have any piece of discernment can say, okay, you, this person is, is manipulating
me and that's exactly what maybe does.
Now, of course, maybe is when I say it in that context, people are like, wow, that's
so extreme because yes, yes, it's not a knife cutting your throat.
(16:35):
No, it is.
It is a pin pricking your thumb.
Yet and still in both situations, you still bleed.
And that is why maybe is manipulation and we have to move out of that space so that
we as a whole human race can be more accountable to each other and be more dependable to each
other.
(16:55):
So people know how to move about luckily you're not going to be there.
Great.
Okay.
I can move on or you are going to be there.
Awesome.
I know I can give you this task.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I love, I love all of that.
Go, go.
It's also to say, you know, I could maybe understand maybe maybe how that word get in
there.
(17:16):
I can understand how hearing the word.
Okay.
So you're saying maybe, you know, there's manipulation there.
It can be on different levels.
There's a scale, of course.
Some people are very conscious.
They're conscious of the manipulation.
Others, they're not.
(17:37):
We use that word casually in our society today.
Just look around you today and see how many times you see that word being used.
Let's start to be aware of that and also how it's affecting our understanding of how what
you've just described, we could be more dependable and accountable to one another.
(18:00):
And is that really part of the society that we live in?
Do we want that as a society?
Is that what we're showing each other in all these different interactions we're having?
It might not be baked in already to our society to be dependable.
For example, you can work somewhere and you're not supported sometimes in saying yes or no
(18:24):
in the workplace.
You're supported when you say something that gives you wiggle room.
It is important to really approach this from different angles because you have the social
situation right, but then you have the work environment.
And how does maybe creep into the work environment and kind of poison that arena?
(18:48):
Is that a whole other topic?
Is that too big for our morning motivation?
I think it's right in there because when you think about getting to work, are you coming
in?
Maybe.
There's no confidence there.
But then when you actually get into work, there's a specific task that needs to be done.
And there's different ways to say maybe, you know, I'm going to work on getting to that
(19:10):
so that I may be able to accomplish that task at a later date.
What I just said was maybe, you know, it gives me that ability to have that freedom that
I'm trying to hold on to with whatever it is I'm trying to do.
And that does create an environment of indecision and of I want to say non belief, but like
(19:33):
I now I'm questioning is this actually going to get done?
That maybe makes them want to like, let me bring more people on this project because
I think this person is not going to be dependable enough to get this done.
And that's how that flows sometimes, which is really unfortunate.
Whereas if you just said, no, I need help.
Okay, let me give you some help.
(19:55):
But like you saying that may then say, okay, you can't do your job.
Maybe I have to then find another person.
You know, even the same that maybe I have to find another person that's creating the
manipulation of like, oh, okay, now you're feeling like you may be replaced.
Now you're feeling like your job security is being infringed upon.
You know, when they say, well, maybe I need to replace you.
(20:17):
Well, maybe you need some help.
Oh, it's been used from both perspectives, which I think is just not healthy.
It's not healthy at all.
But it's it's an important aspect of the maybe that is a it's it's larger.
And it starts to when it's starting to affect your economic access, that's when it becomes
(20:41):
really, really impactful.
How you know, using that maybe.
Hmm.
Wow.
Wow.
That's I didn't think we were going to go there.
I never know where these conversations are going to go, but I'm so happy they went there.
What it makes me want to think about is in my life, where can indecision be changed to
(21:08):
decision?
I'm pretty decisive in a lot of areas of my life.
But then there's still some areas that I can be more decisive upon.
And now it's about like digging deeper into how can I remove maybe out of my life?
That's like a challenge.
That sounds like a challenge that the audience can also take on.
(21:29):
Right.
I would love I would love to take that challenge on what are the areas of your life that you
can remove maybe from now?
What I'm thinking about this is probably another topic, but I'm going to touch on it a little
hot button topic is how does maybe and hope relate to each other?
(21:54):
OK.
Well, that's interesting.
Yes.
It's like that's like, wait, where we're going with this?
Because when you say to someone.
I hope I can make it.
(22:15):
I'm like, maybe sounds a lot like a cousin to hope I hope I can be there.
There's many, yeah, there's many different exactly.
The word maybe might not be actually used, but it could be an adjacent word or an adjacent
(22:37):
phrase.
So anything that is maybe adjacent, you also need to start being become aware of how that's
being used.
Right.
Absolutely.
Now when you go down that train, maybe you start to see the different ways that maybe
appears because maybe can have many different faces.
And so you have to identify where are the maybes in your life and where can I change
(23:01):
those maybes to more definitive choices?
Maybe I'll stop smoking.
What?
Maybe I'll ask for a raise.
All these different things create murky waters for you.
And it's much easier to make a choice and take on the responsibility of that choice
(23:21):
and then move forward to the next choice.
So well said.
That puts a bow on this brilliant conversation this morning.
And I hope everyone enjoyed wherever you were listening, whatever time of day.
This is your space to think about what motivates you and the areas of your life.
(23:43):
We're here to talk with you about it.
You have comments, questions, put them below in the comments.
And we're going to be talking with you about more in the weeks ahead.
And this has been a pleasure to talk with you, GoGo about Don't Live in the Maybe.
(24:03):
Don't Live in the Maybe.
Thank you for listening to another episode of Morning Motivation with GoGo and Natasha.
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