Finding Home Abroad: Tale of Cultural Integration and Self-Acceptance | Ft. Luna Daniel Ep. 047 - My Thick Accent

Episode Transcript
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Gurasis (00:00):
Hi, this is Gurasis Singh and you're listening to My
Thick Accent podcast.
Okay, picture this you haveleft your homeland, your roots

(00:21):
and everything that's familiarto you in a pursuit of a better
life in a foreign land.
The journey of an immigrant isa profound one, filled with
unique challenges and profoundtransformations.
Yet amidst the externaladjustments, there's an equally
compelling internal journey, avoyage towards self-acceptance
in a new world.

(00:42):
And today we'll not onlyexplore the hurdles they
encounter, but also the courageit takes to fully embrace their
identity and the innerconversations that guide them
through this transformative path.
The story of my guest todaymirrors the lives of countless
immigrants who have braved thesetrails.
Her tale is one of a post-inevolution, an additive that

(01:03):
unfolds through moments ofcultural shock and identity
exploration.
Join us as we delve into themultifaceted world of immigrants
, where every step is atestament to their courage.
Every day, a page in theirtransformative story.
Please welcome Luna.

Luna (01:22):
Thank you so much, Gurasis .
It is my pleasure to be a partof this and I'm so happy to
share my learnings with you.
It's an honor to be here withyou today.

Gurasis (01:30):
Pleasure, pleasure to have you, Luna, on the podcast.
Thank you for doing this andreally excited for this
conversation.
So now I want to start byasking you if you have any
favorite inspirational quote orsaying that resonates with you.

Luna (01:46):
I think one thing which I think is very, very, I say, as
you saw, is what you reap is onething, and very cliche changes
the only thing constant, I think, because those are two of my
very, very guiding compass,which I nobody taught me this,
nobody has told me this, but Ithink my journey in life has

(02:08):
made me believe that sometimesyou just don't need to think of
the results, sometimes you justneed to give.
The universe has its way ofgiving it back to you, and I
strongly strongly believe that.
So that's one, and change isthe other thing.
To be honest, Gurasis, when Iwas thinking about what are some
of the learnings and failuresthat I wanted to share, I went

(02:29):
back to my 15 year old self, Iwent back to my 21 year old self
, I went back to my 25 year oldself, I went back to my 30 year
old self and I realized that theonly thing that was constant at
all these portions is me myselfand the change that came with
it.
So I think these are the twothings I strongly strongly go by

(02:49):
, these two.

Gurasis (02:50):
I love them and I think the change is the only constant
is also something which is veryclose to me, because the
biggest change for animmigrant's life is to leave
everything behind and coming tothe new world, accepting this
and then even moving cities forvarious purposes, for PR and
points etc.
So I think, because that thingstayed with me, the change is

(03:12):
only constant.
That kept moving rather thankind of dwelling into my current
state that this is gone, thisis various, but it might change
as well.
So, yeah, I really love that.

Luna (03:22):
Yeah, Thank you, and it's a given, not not only for me.
I think a human evolves onlywhen he or she knows that no two
days are the same, and if yourtwo days are the same, you're
not learning.
So I think that's somethingthat I consciously look out for.

Gurasis (03:40):
And is there any habit, luna, that has you, that you
have adopted and that haschanged your life, or something
that has become your secondnature?

Luna (03:47):
I think, introspection every single day versus I take
out maybe five or 10 minutes,especially when it's a tough day
to look back at.
Okay, and this is, I think,over COVID.
When I had a little bit of timeto learn about and go inward, I
realized that it's very easy tobash yourself up.
I didn't do that presentationwell, I could do this better.

(04:11):
I didn't do that interview wellOkay, somebody told me this, I
could have answered this better.
So I think one thing which I'verealized is one is gratitude and
introspection.
So every day, sit what reallywent well, what didn't go well,
what did it?
What is it that you learn?
Be kind to yourself.
It just gives you that, okay, Idid my best, have you done your

(04:32):
best?
If not, why you didn't do it?
And then go back and say, okay,this is the lesson I learned
today.
So I think that is very humbling, because sometimes things go
well for you back to back andyou feel that, oh, everything is
going well and suddenly youwill have especially, I think,
from a South Asian culture,because we always have so much
of high expectations of selffrom our childhood it's very

(04:54):
easy to bash yourself.
So I think the last, again,this is not.
It doesn't didn't come easy.
I think the last two, threeyears I consciously make it.
I think it could be end of theday, it could be the evening
when I go for work, it could bejust when I'm just listening to
a nice music piece and I feelthat, you know, I just need to
breathe.
I think that has made a lot ofdifference to how I see myself.

(05:15):
Okay, I'm not perfect, but yeah, if I cannot love myself or I
cannot accept myself, nobodywould Absolutely.

Gurasis (05:23):
Yeah, I love Saloon.
Thank you for saying that.
I really hope our listeners dothat in their life.
But tell me what are thequestions that you ask yourself
when you're in respect, what arethe maybe, or just say what are
the three main things that youfocus on when you talk to
yourself.

Luna (05:39):
I think that I talk to myself.
One is we are humans, right, westart to think that, okay, this
is what I need to achieve.
Okay, we always have these, youknow, by 20,.
We need to do is 25.
And sometimes you don't itcould be, and sometimes these
are factors which you can'tcontrol, right.
So I ask myself the onlyquestion I specifically overall

(06:00):
ask have you done it wholeheartedly?
Have you given it to your 100%?
If something tells me I've doneit, my 100%, I just don't
really think about it because Iknow that genuinely, I have done
what I could.
And then you have other youknow variables who are acting
and doing this one.
I always ask when I did that,do I?

(06:21):
Did I do it 100%?
And if I did not, I just sayit's okay, what could I have
done better?
I think about it, maybe make anote, or maybe just consciously
talk to the talk about it tosomebody who might feel
comfortable with and say thatthis is how I'm feeling, is it
okay?
So yeah, and these are the twoquestions Basically, I always

(06:42):
ask myself, like have you givenit to your all?
It's okay?
And if not, did you learn fromit?
Let's do it right the secondtime, or the third time, or the
fourth time?

Gurasis (06:53):
Yeah, I think it happens right that we all have
those days where we are at our100% of the energy, and
sometimes we are like 80% andthat is our 100%.
Sometimes we might be at 40 andthat is our 100% of the day,
and sometimes we keep onquestioning I would have done
better, I would have done better.
But we should, we should cutsome slack to ourselves also,

(07:13):
rather than, you know, sayingthat you would have done better
all the time.

Luna (07:16):
Yeah, and I think, as I said, it's always about when we
have our own milestones andsometimes we miss it, and it's
okay to miss it because you knowit is the way.
There's a reason why you'vemissed it.
Maybe there's something elsethat's been given to you.
So work on that.
So that's what I stronglybelieve in.

Gurasis (07:35):
We'll definitely dive deeper into that, but let me
take you back to the time wespent in India, specifically
Kolkata.
Tell us a little bit about yourchildhood, a little bit about
your formative years and alsowhat the focus was on growing up
.

Luna (07:50):
It was a typical middle class family background.
Now, when I look at it, it wasI was.
My parents are from Kerala, sowe are South Indian.
So they moved to Kolkata in thelate 50s 60s, so they were
immigrants, in a way, from adifferent state, trying to build
their lives and their homes.
My father came from my.

(08:11):
Both my parents were fromagricultural background, so they
were the first to actually goout of their comforts.
So sometimes when I look back Ithink maybe it's a genetic
thing.
It's gone, it's difficultbecause they had everything
working for them.
Their parents were pretty welloff in the village that they
were.
And now when I look back Ithink my dad did a huge and both

(08:31):
my dad and mom did a huge tosay that, okay, this is what I
have, but let's see what's outthere, and that was quite coming
from that background.
To actually make that choice washuge so, but it was just a
normal any kid very, veryprotected.
I was the younger one in thehouse, very pampered never, when

(08:52):
I say pampered like we weretaught to be independent, but
parents took care of most of ourneeds.
The only focus was you study.
This is the best gift and Ithink that is very important,
that both my parents, my father,he, inculcated that education
is a gift not everyone has.
So when you have it, make themost out of it, every little

(09:13):
opportunity that you get, learnfrom it and give it your best
shot, and don't get us intotrouble.
That was you do whatever youwant, don't get parents into
trouble.
So that was the normal, very,very normal kid of the block.
I was in a convent, educatedschool, very sheltered I would
say.
But as a kid I think now again,when I look back, because I was

(09:36):
a South Indian, when I used tosay I'm from Calcutta, they used
to say, oh, you don't, you arenot a Bengali, right?
So at that time too, peopletend to box you right.
So when I look at my culturalmisfit, I always feel that, oh,
when I was a kid, people, when Iused to go back for vacations
back to Kerala, I used to notgel in there because I was from

(09:59):
Bengal, like I was born andbrought up there, right?
So technically somebody outsideof that village.
So you know, there was a lot ofchange going on and I was
trying to figure out who I was,what is my identity.
So that was something that Ithink used to think a lot as a
child.
But yeah, I was quite naughtyat home but very, very quiet in

(10:21):
school and you know teachers isreally like me because I used to
be the kid who did not get intotrouble.
So, yeah, so that's a littlebit of my background, but, as I
said, very sheltered, verypampered, typical middle class
where you know it was told to usthat you need to be independent
and education is something thatyou cannot take for granted.

Gurasis (10:41):
So yeah, yeah, I actually want to mention to our
non Indian speaker in non Indianlisteners that she's like you
said.
You know, like you moved fromKerala to, you know, in Calcutta
, Bengal, and you, as you'resaying, you're talking as if you
have moved to like a differentcountries.
So I feel like people might beassuming that is this the same

(11:04):
place, but this is.
This is the thing about India,right?
It's so diverse, and sodifferent cultures are there in
different parts of within Indiathat it comes as a shock to you.
That is, that it is thatdifferent.
So tell me, luna, that how didyou cope up with that?
Like something that that hasstayed with you from these

(11:25):
cultures, or or something youfeel like you would have, maybe,
like, even done better in anyway?

Luna (11:33):
So when I was a kid it really didn't bother me because,
again, when you are in thatsheltered environment my school
was just 10 kilometers around myhouse, my friends were there.
I never actually moved out.
I the first I think 15 years itwas everything was.
Everyone knew each other, so itwas very sheltered.
I used to find it that I wasnot fitting the box when I used
to go back for vacations, backto my village.

(11:53):
The thought process I was from acity, my parents were from a
village I used to visit once inmaybe two or three years.
For some of the occasionspeople used to think she looks
like us, but she's not like us.
She speaks English.
She's a little different.
You know the way she.
You know manditisms can be alittle different based on where
you are.
So it didn't really strike me.

(12:14):
But I think the first thingthat I got was when I moved to
high school.
When I moved to school basicallyit was completely before I was
only competing with girls.
I had a specific set of youknow I've from when I was
kindergarten to when I was 15, Iwas in the same school.
So it was 10 years meeting thesame teachers and everything,

(12:35):
and suddenly I moved into, outof my comfort zone, competing
with probably how you would doin the real world.
You are not really competingonly with women.
So it was in the school which Ijoined.
They basically used to coachstudents for IITs.
So usual schools had cut off of35 as a past percentage.

(12:56):
In my school it was 15.
So very high performingindividuals who already going
getting into IIT coaching.
And I actually joined theschool three months late.
So I did it.
Like you know, there was afirst cut off.
I only got admission after thesecond cut off because I wanted
science and things like that.
So I was in that flux where theenvironment is new.

(13:17):
I was already three months back.
I joined in June in the classesstarted in April.
Then this gender difference, thelanguage difference.
I was in the same city but Ifelt like I was in an alien
space, right.
So it took me a lot of time.
It took me a lot of time tounderstand that, hey, I was
living in a bubble.
I was living in a place whichwas so sheltered by my parents,

(13:41):
with those same friends, withthose same neighbors, with the
same relatives, that I don'tknow what's going on in this
world.
And this was my first experienceto the real, real world.
The competition was there.
You have different type ofpeople you are interacting with,
you have, you are competing insports, you're competing in
education.
You know how you would do in areal.

(14:02):
So that was kind of a shock forme.
So that was my first take on achange.
And then, obviously, I moved tocities again, for
professionally I moved back toBangalore.
That was another shock for mebecause again, that's very
cosmopolitan melting pot.
People are there.
Again there's a question oh,you saw the name, but you've
come from the North, becauseback in Bangalore anything above

(14:25):
the deck in is not in thequestion.
Where are you from, from?
Yeah, so that question hasnever, ever left me to be honest
, because it's where are youfrom?

Gurasis (14:34):
Yeah.

Luna (14:35):
And I ask myself that every day where are you from and
where do you want to belong?
I think that's where that's.
That's a question, and if youask me, do you know the answer?
I don't.
I'm still kind of.
I think it is.
It's always a moving phase and,yeah, so this question, while
many of us, as immigrants, facedwhen we moved to a different

(14:58):
country, this is something thatI've always had to go back to we
before you even immigrated.
Yes.
So who am I and where do Ibelong, more than where I'm from
right, where do you belong?
So I think that's veryimportant and that can be a very
difficult question for a kid toanswer, very difficult even for

(15:20):
an adult to answer Right,because it questions you know
where do you really belong?
Who do you think are your?
You know where's?

Gurasis (15:27):
your home, was there, like anybody you talked to about
it or you discussed this with,because, like you said, you were
a kid, right, you were ateenager probably.
And how did you like you didn'tknow how to really like tackle
those things, how to process it?
What did you do then?

Luna (15:41):
I think at that time, people, it's a part of growing
up and I, to be honest, I didhave friends, but now when I
look back, I didn't reallydiscuss.
It was always like selfintrospection, like how I, how
am I?
It's like people wanted to boxyou but I didn't want to be
boxed.
Okay, I am this, I am from allthese places.
All these places have made mewho I am, and to be one of those

(16:04):
is that's what I continue tobelieve.
I, all these places where Ihave stayed, have taught me.
Every single place has made mewho I am.
So, while it's it's, it's kindof difficult to say where I am
from.
Actually I think I belongeverywhere because I've learned

(16:25):
and I have given also right Tothese places, my friends.
So, again, to answer yourquestion, I really didn't
discuss.
I think that's what you, youkind of processes internally and
then when you grow up as anadult, you realize that, yes,
this is something that probablyif you were, if I would have
discussed, maybe it would havebeen easier.
I could get a lot of learningexperiences from others.

(16:46):
But you don't think so muchabout those things when you're
in the rat race or getting youradmission job and everything
like that.
So no, I really didn't discussthis.

Gurasis (16:55):
Yeah, I do like when you said you know, all these
things have made you and I thinkI've said this so many times
the podcast, that we are allblessed with this.
You know, unique amalgamationof gifts, obviously, some
experiences, and that's whatmakes us like who we are.
Nobody is us and we are nobodyand that's what makes us unique.

(17:16):
And all these things which areunique to us is something which
nobody can even take from us.
They are us so.
So I think I think that that'show, like I see these things.

Luna (17:28):
Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful and I think to realize
that, as you said, it cannot betaken away from me, right?

Gurasis (17:35):
Absolutely.

Luna (17:36):
That, I think, is one the first step of self acceptance
that this is what I am and itcannot be taken from me.

Gurasis (17:43):
Yeah, yeah, even in terms of the story, you are
telling the story.
Only Luna can tell the story,because you have had these
experiences.
No, I cannot tell this becauseI've never been through these
situations.
Right, yeah, so you have livedlike all around India, here and
there.
Tell me something that peoplemight not know about these three

(18:06):
places or, more specifically,where you spend most of your
time in Calcutta, somethingabout Calcutta that people might
not know that you would like toshare.

Luna (18:14):
I think Calcutta is.
It's known as one of themetruses.
So many people even outsidewould know that it's got a
history, culture.
But I think what makescharacter different is, while
it's a metro, it's got an oldworld charm.
So even if I go back right now,it is a different space.
It's not that fast movies, notlike a Mumbai, delhi or
Bangalore, that you would notice.

(18:35):
It has its old world charm.
So it's a beautiful place.
I think I really love mychildhood Even now.
I think if I would get a chanceto go back and live in any
other place in the world, Iwould always choose Calcutta
because that is a beautifulplace.
So it's a very rich culture,wise heritage, wise, great

(18:55):
education system.
Very, very like your, I think.
Even kids were pushed to do alot creatively then.
Only education is one of theplaces where education is not
only the only thing that you do,you are pushed to do to explore
sports, culture and art.
So I think that way it's a veryholistic place to grow.
So, as I said, I lived, I wasborn there, brought up there, I

(19:18):
spent even now, if I kind of addthe years, calcutta the highest
number of years I have stayedis still there, so a lot of me
is from that place.

Gurasis (19:28):
Yeah, and I think when you said old world charm, I
think that explains everythinghow Calcutta is.

Luna (19:34):
Yeah, you still.
Yeah, you still, like, I stillhave my family up there and I
see that you know they stillhave the same way of life which
probably we would have 15 yearsback or 20 years back, as
compared to other cities whichare constantly changing.
If you go to see Bangalorethree years time, you'll not see

(19:54):
, it won't probably be the same.
Or if you go to Delhi, it wouldprobably some places of it
won't be the same.
Or Mumbai, it won't be the same.

Gurasis (20:01):
So, yeah, so while you were still battling this, you
know, identity crisis or to say,and finding yourself so you
decided to move to Australia.
Tell us like what prompted thedecision to move there and,
obviously, the life there.

Luna (20:17):
I think moving to Australia was never like because
we were looking at moving toCanada because our family was
here and it was taking a whileand Express Sentry is pretty
like it's the you do have thedraws and stuff, so it was
taking time.
And the person helping us withour file mentioned that you know

(20:39):
, this part of the, the westernpart of Australia, is actually
having a regional nomination formy for HR profession.
So it was quite shockingbecause usually in skilled
nomination HR doesn't come upthat often, obviously because
you do have local talent andit's not like a scale shortage.
So she said that why don't youapply?
And I was like, okay, if youthink so, we can.

(21:00):
And there was no research done.
There was nothing done becausewe were we were all almost in
the last phases of Canada.
So we thought that in case that, you know, something comes up
that will happen.
But we got it like in fourmonths time we got the visa and
then we were like, oh my God,now what do we do?
Like this is, this is somethingthat we've got.

(21:23):
So we waited and thought about.
Then we started doing ourresearch.
It was a mining town of birththat I got a nomination to and
mining was not doing that wellat that time.
So there was a little bit ofquestion mark into both.
Me and my husband were doingextremely well in India with
respect to jobs.

(21:43):
I was talking to a lot ofpeople.
Many people kind of dissuadedme.
This is like a career suicideyou're going to do If you're
going to be here is the nextfive or six years.
You are going to kind of reacha very good position, what you
want to do.
So, and to be honest, I thinkevery individual in India at
some point has this dream ofgoing abroad.

(22:05):
Right, my dad really wanted togo.
He couldn't go.
He always used to say that Iwant you guys to, you know at
least explore that.
So but for me, I think I never.
It never, because it was notlike you know I have to go
abroad or you know I need that.
I was very content as a kid.
Even now I'm quite content.
I'm not the kind of person whowill say you know, I need to do

(22:26):
this now.
My husband was like, oh, thisis an experience, let's not lose
it.
Right, there's a reason why wegot it.
So just let's, let's go.
So we didn't have any anythinglike it was just just adventure.
Let's go and we moved and, tobe honest, the transition was

(22:47):
pretty smooth from you knowgetting a job and things like
that.
Luckily I got a job quickly, asone did get a job.
It culturally it was verydifferent because it's a
different country, right?
So you're completely approvingyour social circle and your you
know what you're familiar withto a place where no one knows
anything.
I don't know.

(23:08):
It's all about trial and error.
That was one thing, but Ireally enjoyed the place.
I learned a lot about selfacceptance there.
There's when I realized thatyou know what culture is,
something that we think likewhen we are in India or back

(23:31):
home.
We always think that these aresome of the things that make us.
But it's a huge learning andunlearning journey when you're
in a different country Becauseyou think you don't fit in.
But it's not that.
It's not that you don't fit in.
You have to take those steps tolearn.
Sometimes it's somethingtotally different from what you
do.

(23:51):
And then I had some reallyreally, you know, I got a chance
of educating people from whereI came.
I had this really funnyincident which I shared in one
of my sessions in the office aswell.
So there was somebody in myoffice who asked me oh Luna, do
you come from India?
Does everything she had seenonly slumdog millionaire?

(24:11):
So she actually asked me like,is India like what I see in
slumdog millionaire?
I was so taken aback.
I felt bad.
My first reaction was like, andthen I was like, what do I do?
So I went back.
I was very quiet.
Usually that's my approach.
When I something, I'm shocked,I usually kind of quiet.

(24:32):
So I went back and I was like Ididn't talk to anyone about it,
not even my husband, and I waslike thinking about it, like,
and I felt really bad.
Then I took the opportunity andsome.
When I went back to the work thenext day, somebody said that
you know, you should addressthis.
This is like a racial slur andpeople, you know if she, she
passed out.
So I actually went back to thisperson and I said that you know

(24:53):
, let me teach you where I comefrom.
So I took that not as anopportunity to bring put that
person down or to say that thisis a racial attack on me or this
is something which I trulyunderstood.
It was a teaching point aboutwhat my culture is.
And when I showed the palacesin Rajasthan and the Victoria

(25:16):
Memorial back in Calcutta andshe was stunned.
She's like this looks likesomewhere in Europe and I was
like, yeah.
So sometimes I think Teachablemoments happen when you are
working with somebody who comesfrom a different culture and we
kind of take it as an offense.
I learned that lesson which Itake very deeply If somebody

(25:39):
says something which isincorrect, I don't take it
personally, I don't take it as apersonal attack.
I take some time to go back tothat person and actually take it
as a teachable moment.
Sometimes the person takes it,sometimes the person does, but
99% of the time because I haveseen people do accept when you
teach them Like this is what Iam.

(26:00):
I mean I do have a differentname.
So many people ask me oh, haveyou?
Have you?
How do you speak such goodEnglish?

Gurasis (26:08):
Classic question again.
Yeah.

Luna (26:11):
Right.
So I always say you know, mostof the spelling bees are one by
Indian kids, right, like all ourschools are.
So a lot of those stereotypesare still making to be broken
and I think, as I said, I alwaystake an opportunity to share my
culture with people around merather than taking offense to it
, and it has worked well for me.

(26:32):
I think many people respect meand I also respect.
Sometimes I don't know aboutcertain things, but instead of
assuming and stereotyping, Ithink it's important, as I said,
I don't want to box.
I've never wanted to be boxed.
I don't want to box people.
So that's what I've learned inmy journey when I was in
Australia.
I think that's just the biggestlearning I have.

Gurasis (26:53):
I think that's the right approach to take and
that's what this podcast isabout, you know, breaking those
stereotypical molds and some,some like prejudices which
people have.
And the funny story I also havelike a very similar story.
So somebody saw this movie.
You know Indiana Jones and theTemple of Doom.
Have you seen that movie?
Yes, yes, I think it's the onlyreason.
I think it's like a wish putty.

(27:15):
A wish putty is there and allthat thing is happening.
Somebody saw it and they saidpeople actually eat those
animals hearts.
And I was like no, we don't dothat, that's a movie.
Take that as a movie.
That's a character, a fictionalcharacter.
Nobody does like that.
So I remember correcting themas well.
But but I think you said itright.

(27:35):
Also, Like, sometimes it'simportant to give the benefit of
the doubt that they genuinelythey might be curious or unaware
about the things you know.
And I think I always say thatin my case, that I always say
that I'm happy to educate you ifyou're unaware about the colors
of my turban or my religion,because I do meet people who
don't know about Sikhism andit's absolutely fine If people
might not know about it.

(27:55):
But but also, don't you think,luna, like, sometimes we have to
, not sometimes they think it'snot necessary to explain them
also.

Luna (28:04):
I for me, for my personal experience, versus, I feel that
sometimes I don't lose thechance.
Sometimes you do get that wallright.
People don't want to listen toyou.
Then I take that step back If Isee that the person is
generally for.
For this example, my colleaguewhen.
So she felt really bad becauseafter like this happened and the
next day people were like, oh,you shouldn't have spoken like

(28:25):
that, like that, that borders onsomething.
Maybe if she complains, theneach of us will get involved and
stuff like that.
So she genuinely came to me andjust said I've never traveled
the world Like.
I've been born up, bought uphere.
I've probably gone to Europebecause she's you know, her just
came from there, so she's beingthere.
But she's like I'm really sorry, like after that, you know, I

(28:46):
didn't really know when,probably I should have framed it
differently and I think that Ididn't expect that from her and
I wanted to tell her, to tell mesorry, it came automatically,
it came genuinely.
That okay, it is, you know,through my ignorance, but I feel
it's important because we alsohave a voice and I think using
that voice to educate is neverwrong.

(29:09):
Right Again, you, you go get,if you feel as person is shut
off, then it's a different story.
But I think, especially when itcomes to culture you're also
here too.
It's like I always say, you know, especially in the context of
Canada, because we are from so,so many different places, we are
like a quilt, right, every oneof us is a different pattern.

(29:30):
I love that.
We, we, we may be a biggerpatch.
Sometimes we need to cut itdown, sometimes we need to join
another patch which may not beof the same color.
I love the analogy, yeah, so Ithink, yeah, and in the end the
quilt is warm, fuzzy and itbrings that warmth right.
So I always say that sometimesyou have to.
Somebody has to take that extrastep.

(29:50):
You may choose not to.
If you take it, it's okay, butI do.
Sometimes I get like why do youhave to say I have?
I know people back home say whydo you have to go there?
Like you don't leave that Maybethe person would not understand
.
But yeah, I just take it.
I think it's important for mebecause if I don't do it, then
probably I'll be like, oh, Ishould have at least explained

(30:12):
my side of the story, yeah.

Gurasis (30:14):
No regrets.
Yeah, yeah, the way you explainthis.
You know we are a quilt.
This analogy.
I think you should write a poemabout it.
I loved it, Absolutelybeautiful, yeah.

Luna (30:27):
I think we all are different, right Everything that
when we come together we arethis beautiful, beautiful stuff
that comes together.
So we have to ensure that we wemay be different I mean we blue
, you may be brown, somebodyelse may be yellow but we all
come together to make this warmand fuzzy for society as a whole
.

Gurasis (30:49):
So tell us about the culture that you experienced in
Australia, anyway, like how wasit like different from India or
how was it life there in general?

Luna (30:59):
It's beautiful.
Again, because I think it'sdifferent.
The very first thing that Ilearned was communication for me
, because in India, typically,why some of us are opinionated,
we always take that okay, let'slisten, let's absorb, right, and
sometimes we like to sandwich.
So we are not really upfrontwith there's nothing wrong,

(31:19):
because it's a culture we wantto be, not that they want to be
disrespectful, it's just that we, even if you have to break a
bad news or we say that you'redone a shawty job, you'll never
hear anyone saying that that was, you know, not a good job or
whatever.
So we try and kind of say thiswas good, but this could be done
better.
But when I moved to Australia,I think one thing which I

(31:41):
learned is being upfront.
Direct communication is quitesomething which I saw and I
think I absolutely loved it,because what you see is what you
get right.
So if you've done a bad job oryou've done a great job, it's
there for you to see.
They will tell you that on yourface there's no question mark.
Sometimes you have like, oh,you said this, but you know, I

(32:04):
thought you said it was a greatthing, right, and then your
interpretation because you'renot directing it.
So I think communication wassomething that I learned.
Be more direct in communication, that is something which I keep
very close to my heart.
I think it makes life very,very simple when you again
there's a way of saying yeah, itmakes life simple by just being

(32:26):
honest about what you feel.
That's one thing which Ilearned.
And third is a second thingwhich I understood.
Guresh is is while we movecountries, when I started
expanding my social circle, Irealized that there are people
who kind of want to cometogether in their own
communities.
So I personally didn't want todo that.

(32:49):
I came into this country tolearn something.
So not that I not that becauseI did not want to interact with
fellow Indians.
I had many friends, but I justrealized that that's something
which kind of doesn't make youexperience the country as a
whole.
Right, enjoying, you know,living with somebody who's from

(33:12):
you know locally, enjoying theirfestivities locally.
It's very easy for us to goback to what's comfortable for
us.
Okay.
So even I think as an immigrant, that was again my second that
you've taken that step of goingoutside your comfort zone in a
new country.
Don't lose that.
There's always that inertia tobring you back Indians.

(33:35):
Everywhere you have yourfriends, you have communities,
not that I'm saying go ahead,enjoy your community as well,
but don't limit yourself to yourcommunity.
So that's another thing which Ilearned, and I think I made
friends for life out there inAustralia because I had both
from Indians as well as fellowAustralians there, because I

(33:56):
think I took each and everymoment to learn and I wanted to
make the most out of it.
How is it that I can make mybatch join with them so that we
can make this beautiful piece?

Gurasis (34:07):
Yeah, and this has also been a common denominator
amongst all my guests who havebeen on the podcast.
Everybody has said the samething that, yes, it's important
to have a familiar group to goback to all the time, but it's
also very necessary to embracethe country you are in and try
to integrate in their cultureand with the people, and I think

(34:30):
that really helps you, thatreally really helps you to grow
in a foreign land.

Luna (34:35):
Yeah, and I think it's also about respecting, like you
say, respecting the land right,like even understanding the
nuances, what they like.
It's very important when you'recoming in, you need to respect
what they see is sacrosanct totheir land and their culture and
their rituals too.
So I think that's important tounderstand that as adults, as we

(34:58):
grow, we always have that pull.
You know she had to not havethat change.
It's responsibility of us tosay that.
You know I'm not going to gointo this pull that's coming.
I need to move and see.
You know what I can learn outof this.

Gurasis (35:13):
After immigrating from India, you decided to immigrate
for the second time and youdecided to move to Canada.
So tell us what motivated thedecision to move there.
I believe you just mentionedthat you wanted to move to
Canada initially, but you end upgoing to Australia.

Luna (35:29):
Yeah, we were like, while this paperwork was going on for
Canada, we loved us stay inAustralia.
Australia was beautiful.
As I said, we already based ourcareers well there.
We had great.
We started building our ownsocial circles and it was
beautiful.
The weather was amazing.
It was very close to Indiabecause we were in the western
side, you know, within.

(35:49):
It was not the long duration.
If you just wanted to go backhome, you could visit and stuff.
So everything was going well.
And then we got this opportunityand I think it, the universe
has its way Sometimes again andI see this is a constant theme
probably in my life of movingaway from comfort.
So, knowingly or unknowingly.
So, when this opportunity came,this was a move which was a

(36:12):
little bit more difficultbecause, as I said, the first
move, we didn't have any checkboxes, right.
We just wanted to experience,see how it's going.
This was a second time, againmoving, and when you start
basing that, the first time yourealize that you know this is a
lot.
It's emotional, australian,it's spiritual, it's physical,

(36:34):
it's financial.
There's a lot of movingcomponents when you move from
trees, right.
So do we want to go through itagain?
So there was a lot of questionsand when we got this we thought
okay.
And because you know, someextended family was here, we
thought okay, just let's takethe plunge.
So we were happy and then camejust before winter.
So everyone did tell us thatthe winter is going to be brutal

(36:58):
and everything we neverexperienced Really.
It was never the coldest.
It would go probably three tofour degrees on the coldest day
that you would have where welived.
So it was brutal and yeah, itis a different.
I thought, to be honest, youknow, done it first time how
different difficulty can be.
Yeah, like, how like it's.
You've had that experience, youhave international experience,

(37:21):
how is it?
But I think the universe hasits way of humbling you, right,
you think you know yourself, youthink you know how to clap the
cold.
And then it was like no, thisis something which was totally
different.
And then within a few months, itwas difficult, like I got my
first gig, again, good, I says,did a lot of mistakes, like,

(37:43):
obviously the whole focus was sodriven about getting a job, got
into a wrong kind of anemployer and it really went bad.
Right, I couldn't, it reallyaffected me a lot mentally.
And then I was like, okay, Ican't do this anymore.
Like, so I quit thatorganization and COVID hit.
You know, from the time we cameto the time COVID hit, we

(38:05):
didn't really have that.
So we were so caught up ingetting everything sorted, like
the basic stuff, we reallydidn't have the chance to
socialize much.
So we just all of a sudden,while we had people whom we
could meet.
We were just at home for twoyears.
So that brought itselfchallenges, because that kind of

(38:26):
we always have ways to what tosay?
Distract ourselves, right.
We constantly doing things, weare constantly trying to achieve
things or going out.
And then suddenly COVID cameand you're just stuck in a place
where you have yourself Okay,job and how, what do you do?
Right?
So I think that was a huge.

(38:46):
It again got back to selfintrospection, going back inside
to figure out what is it?
What is your purpose?
Why are you here?
What do you want to do?
There are so many difficulties.
There were days when we werelike, oh, do you really want to
do it?
You always can go back, right.
And we couldn't even go backbecause, of course, okay.

(39:07):
So it was like it's like God's,we've seen and you're here now,
yeah, stay here.
Deal with it, like, yeah, dealwith it, and this is what it is.
So it was quite humbling.
Again, lots of unlearning andlearning because, as you grow
older, also because you think,as I said, you think you know
yourself, you're aware ofcertain things, you, you think
that you know, you have operatedin a specific way and that all

(39:30):
went out of the door.
So I was used to networkingface to face, meeting people,
and now I had to completelychange that.
How do I ask somebody to spendhalf an hour on a video call
when I don't know?
And it's more weird, right,like how would you want?
And nobody's done it before.

Gurasis (39:48):
Yeah.

Luna (39:49):
So I had to build a social connect, had to do all these
things sitting in the confinesof my four walls, and I am the
kind of person who gets a lot ofenergy because, again, my job
is like that.
I am that kind of person I getenergy from people.
So it was like putting youinside a box and say, hey, this
is what you have now, make magicout of it.

(40:09):
So it was difficult and, yeah,that was my first experience
with Canada.
First year was stuff, but thenI realized that, yeah, you have
to think outside the box again.
You, if you've been given this,what can you make most of it?
So I did a lot of volunteering.
I started doing a lot of workwith new immigrants.
Even now, I don't think this isI have achieved everything and

(40:31):
you know, whatever I havelearned I only share.
I'm still.
I'm still in that five year newimmigrant bracket, what they
say.
I'm just going to complete fouryears.
I'm still learning, but I takeevery opportunity to help
because I know how difficult itis when you come to a new
country and you have no one.
And the older you get, the moredifficult I think it gets.
Maybe it's.
I'm against stereotyping, but Ithink as you grow older,

(40:55):
because you have such setpatterns, it's very difficult to
do that.
So I'll just try and and thatduring that time I think I got
into that I want to help others.
I went through this time when,you know, I was struggling a bit
and I kind of found these waysto get my sanity.
I want to share that with otherpeople, right?

(41:16):
So that's what I did during mytime when I first came from
Canada.

Gurasis (41:20):
You know, listening to you, I feel like it.
The second immigration toCanada might not be that
difficult, but, COVID, was thatadded pressure that made it
really hard for you for you both, actually, you know to really
get started in this new country?
I believe you told me you camein September 2019, right?
So tell us about your first daythat.

(41:41):
How was the first day?
Initial thoughts and emotionswhen you landed.

Luna (41:46):
I think it was like obviously it was Toronto and you
know it was.
It was very nice to see becauseyou know I've been like I was
in Calcutta.
Then when I moved to Bangalore,it was a big city.
Then I went to both, which is asmaller city, very, very quiet,
a quaint place.
That was again a smaller cityand when I came to all this
hustle, bus was, it was reallynice and it was a fall.

(42:09):
I really loved that it wasduring that time and everything
was beautiful and the pumpkinspice and everything like the
first thoughts were really goodand, to be honest with us, to my
experience I will always giveit time.
I don't make first assumptionsbecause sometimes you know you
judge based on first.
So I was like, okay, this looksnice, it's a place, and again
we had support systems and wedid have people who could

(42:33):
probably give us some guidance.
So I was kind of comfortable atthat stage.
But again, the North Americanmarket is another beast.
Right, your education and yourlicensing and everything is
another beast.
And solely when we startedunderstanding the nuances of it
it was like, yeah, you're coming, especially when you come to a
GTA, there's so many immigrants,you're competing with the local

(42:55):
population.
So those things started likeBearing in that.
You know that Canada's got hugeand when we came I think that's
the time also, like every yearthe number of immigrants was
huge.
So, yeah, it was a scaryproposition because and again,
that's when you startquestioning yourself sometimes
you feel like, will I be able todo it?

(43:17):
I've done it once, it might notbe so difficult.
But what if I don't do it?
Yeah, right, so you know, whatwould the pierce, they, what
would the family say?
So you also come with thatadded pressure.
Sometimes it's just what youbring on yourself, sometimes you
just need to eliminate thenoise is what I have learned
after that experience.
But I think my firstassumptions were definitely

(43:38):
positive, even the snow, I think.
When I sit inside the house Ireally enjoy it, like the cup of
coffee, the beautiful moonlighton the snow.
It looks.
Yeah, it's just that when yougo out it kind of is, but I
think, yeah, every country isbeautiful.

Gurasis (43:56):
So you were telling earlier.
You know how in India peoplehave a certain way of getting
things done.
And then you go to Australiaand people are very direct.
But then you come to Canadawhere people have a way of
sugarcoating things and you knowthe all that politeness kind of
is translated sometimes in apassive, aggressive manner as
well at times.

(44:16):
You know which is the truth,but tell me, do you have any
like similar experience oranything else that you would
like to highlight signifying thecultural difference between
Australia, india and Canada?

Luna (44:30):
I'll speak specifically for Canada is it's a melting pot
, so you have different peoplewho make those subtle
differences.
But one thing which I alwayssay is make your difference,
your USB right.
So I consciously said I'm goingto keep this is a beautiful
gift of direct communicationthat's given to me and I think

(44:51):
it's.
It makes like, as I said, itmakes life easier.
It doesn't mean that you'rerude.
You can say the thing directlybut, with empathy.
So I consistently thought that Idon't want to lose that.
Yeah right, this is somethingthat I learned.
It's a golden what do you callit gift that I got in those
years.
Yeah, and it took me a lot oftime to inculcate.

(45:12):
That was not easy.

Gurasis (45:13):
I'm sure.

Luna (45:14):
Yeah Right, because I didn't come from that, so I
didn't want to lose that.
Why you're different?
You have to be authentic toyourself.
You don't really.
So this is the other thingwhich I feel that people say oh,
the culture is different.
Culture is what you bring to it.
Okay, it's not necessary youchange completely to suit, and
when you do that, you will neverbe authentic to yourself, nor

(45:36):
will you be authentic to others.
100% kindness, respect are twothings which I think will always
work for you.
So I would say, even if youfind that something is different
from how you do it, ask yourquestion is it respectful?
If it is it kind, the way youdo it?
If it is, go ahead and do it.
So I always tell people don'tthink too much, because

(45:59):
sometimes people keep wanting tobecome Canadian in some
definition of different people,that you lose yourself.
That is not what you want to do.
So I think I always tell youwhen I interact with students, I
interact with people, it's okayto be different, but did you
accept your difference?
Do you think it is?

(46:20):
You know, is it kind, is itrespectful the way you come
across?
Sometimes you think, but you'regetting this feedback
consistently that you are acertain way or you mean work on
it, right, ask feedback, sothings like that.
So I think again versus culture.
While we say this culture, thatculture, the culture of
kindness and respect, is commonacross any country.

(46:41):
So as long as you can do that,you will always be welcome, you
will always be a great citizen,will be always be a great
community member.

Gurasis (46:51):
Yeah, I also remember reading, you know, some posts on
LinkedIn from your profile andI think kindness and empathy
were like your common words.
You have used them everywhere.

Luna (47:01):
Yeah, I think that's something which versus I feel
kindness is always seen verynegatively in today's because it
shows that you are softer.
But no, kindness is a huge,huge power that you have.
Sometimes you can, you know,kind of get across people only
with a kind smile or evensilence.
You know kind silence to giveit to them.

(47:23):
So I think I constantly saythat if you can just think when
you are doing something and youare, just see, are you
respectful, are you kind?
If answer to both is no, thenyou need to redirect your
strategy or plan of action.
You cannot either be kind orrespectful.
It has to go Take on kindness,take on hand and hand, yeah.

(47:44):
So that's something which Ialways say.

Gurasis (47:48):
I see kindness as a way of you know accepting people
the way they are and notimposing your ideologies on them
.
Such a beautiful example yougave me.

Luna (47:57):
You respect them.
That's how you accept.
If you don't respect, you don'taccept.
And sometimes it's different,difficult to accept somebody
who's different from you.
It's a learning opportunity foryou.
Then you don't know enoughabout something.
As human beings, I think eachone of us has two things Either
you accept or you learn from itand you think.
This is not my cup of tea.
I don't understand this concept, but respect it otherwise also,

(48:19):
and then move on.

Gurasis (48:24):
So, when you touch briefly upon your profession,
that you work in human resources, I wanted to tell us a little
bit more about your journey inCanada, the job journey.
I would say, because I rememberyou sharing that with me, that
you did go down multiple levelsjust when you moved to Canada,
and you also use this line whereyou said that you know I have

(48:44):
so much in me, but we don't likeboasting about it and I wanted
to expand on that, this aspectof the culture that we grow up
in, and how did you overcomethat and also tell our listeners
about your profession as well?

Luna (48:58):
I think this is I learned the hard way because, again, I
was learning to accept myself.
The other thing which I willtell everyone is, when you come,
there will be a lot of voiceswho will tell you that you know,
you have to start as awarehouse worker, you have to
start.
So I think, psychologically,sometimes people already put it

(49:19):
that you have to go to levelsdown, or a level down it may be,
but some people even stoptrying and I think that had some
effect on me, even though I hadan Australian and then, as I
said, this is the first stinkthat I had with an employer was
not that great.
Obviously, I would not like toname them.

(49:40):
It was basically, you know,because I was new to the country
.
I was, you know, obviously Iwas still learning about.
I had it was a very, very toxicculture that I had to endure.
So I was still going, reelingthrough that and I my my.
The reason why is I just wantedto get out of that place.
To be honest with us, I myselfquestioned my ability.

(50:01):
Right, I didn't take theopportunity.
Sometimes we are in that comfortzone.
So, while I talk about movingoutside the comfort zone,
sometimes we get comfort.
Okay, we got this, let's justmake the best out of it, which
is great.
But I think if that's not whatyou think you are technically
worth, you should explore sothat fear of losing what you

(50:25):
have and things like that.
And then the added thing ofCOVID came in, and you know
there was a lot.
So then that's when, the twoyears that I sat in, I realized
that oh, you know there are.
You may be good, but there arestrategies for you to work on
yourself, because sometimes weare taught back culturally.
They don't talk about certain,you don't boast about yourself,
and boasting though it's anegative tone if there's nothing

(50:47):
we want to see.
If you've done something inyour life, right, what's wrong
to say, like, if you've built asoftware which is life changing,
why not?
What's wrong in saying that?
So I think that, again, it iswrong if you are saying it, you
know making it up, but I thinkthat's something that we need to
consciously.
It's okay to say you are good.

(51:08):
It's okay to say that you havedone something that somebody
else has not done.
It's okay to say, becausesometimes people may not say
that so you are your voice.
I always say this in the end ofthe day you're living with.
If you don't accept yourself,you don't love yourself.
If you don't talk aboutyourself, you don't appreciate
yourself, don't expect anyoneelse to do it.

(51:29):
So if something inside istelling you that no, I'm not
worth it, then maybe you'reworth it, but you don't think
you are.
So I think it's that, again,you give out positive thoughts,
you get positive thoughts right.
So I think that's also whileI'm talking to it from a very
professionally I think it'simportant if you think that you
are a manager and you havespecific grades to go for it.

Gurasis (51:53):
I feel like I'm talking to like a clone of mine,
because sometimes I literallysay the same things to my
friends or people I speak tolike you know, always be your
own cheerleader.
Nobody's gonna come andadvocate for yourself.
You have to do it yourself.
And another quote you know,aluna, I came across it maybe
like two years ago, probablysometime in being 21,.

(52:14):
Be COVID, you know, just loggedin the house and nothing else to
do on LinkedIn, here and there,and I took on this like a 30
days challenge, and then that Iwas just kind of researching
about the one thing I can talkabout, I came across this quote
that you cannot hold anybodyaccountable for your happiness,
because if you do that, you arenot only giving person the power

(52:36):
, but you're also putting thepressure on the other person to
make you happy all the time, andnobody in the world can do that
.
At some of the other point theyare going to disappoint you.
So the best thing is don't givethem the power to make you
happy.
You know you should beresponsible for your own
happiness.
You should come from within.

Luna (52:55):
Yeah, that is so true.
This is I think that'ssomething which I tell everyone
that you have to the first stepto any job searches.
Look inward, I think.
Also the other thing is whenyou start coming to a different
country, you're always meetingpeople with the aim of getting
something out of that person.

Gurasis (53:15):
I think that's wrong.

Luna (53:16):
You know you can take, you can learn from somebody.
But if you only go with thefact that I'm going to speak to
this person and my aim is to geta job and I'm going to get this
out of this person, it's notgoing to happen.

Gurasis (53:28):
So you also work very closely with international
students, saying you were alsobeing a mentor at various
organizations.
You are a mentor at Torontoregion immigrant employment
council.
You are up and you're also theoperations manager at winning
inclusive solutions wins.
You're responsible for theCanadian market research around
diversity, equity, inclusion.
You're also an ambassador forimmigrant networks and now you

(53:51):
work as a talent acquisitionspecialist and co-chair for
multiculturalism for Kaliangroup.
I want to tell you a little bitabout your role and also what
are like some of the commonquestions or challenges that the
students often see guidance on.
Apart from, you know, like howyou just mentioned, that people
come and ask you like for thejob and everything about from
that, what else?

Luna (54:12):
My role, specifically Kaelian is works a lot with
government agencies.
So we work on projects thatthey have, so work with various
things like CBSA, the IRCC, youknow, department of National
Defence, so we do a lot offederal based contracts.
So my role is basically workingfor those and ensuring that the

(54:32):
statement of work for thoseindividuals and because our
company has four divisions, I'min the health, so for me mostly
it's healthcare roles across.
So we as a team we look forphysicians, doctors anything
that you can think of socialworkers, psychologists,
psychiatrists, anything that youcan think of in that space.
So that's something which isextremely what to say?

(54:56):
Fulfilling because in the endof the day, you're placing these
people who are making adifference to people's lives.
So I think, consciously, that'ssomething which I am very proud
of.
I also, as you said, I am, youknow, co-chairing the multi
diversity, which is again agreat experience for me because
I'm working with a lot of peopleindigenous groups, women groups
, young professional groups, onmental health and things like

(55:19):
that.
So I get the opportunity toeducate and also learn from
various people throughoutKaelian, across the business,
and really, as you might haveseen, I work part time as an
instructor for one of thecolleges too.
So my interaction withinternational students I always
have a great, great respect forthem, because I told you this in
our initial chat as well.
This is like.

(55:39):
I think the amount of changethat they are supposed to in
allocate in themselves isthrough the roof, and I know it
because you know you come from avery, very secluded not
secluded, I think protectedenvironment, and then you are
coming into this country whereyou are supposed to do
everything on your own.
So they have to do a lot, andsome of them don't do it with

(56:00):
any prior experience.
They've never done it, or theydon't have people to guide them.
From international students, Ithink, one which I tell recently
, I've told all my students whatis your goal when you are
studying?
Make the most out of it, right?
I know some of them who don'tnetwork at all, who don't have
LinkedIn accounts, who don't doanything in those two years.

(56:21):
They are so much into the ratrace already of having that
minimum wage job or thewarehouse job that they are not
looking at the big picture.
So I always tell them what areyou here for?
I know this is important.
You cannot say that I will.
You know, let go of this job,but in the end of the day, this
is not what you have come for.
You have come for this.

(56:41):
So, while you have all thesethings, at least spend one hour.
You have resources in yourcollege.
You have alumni in your college.
Start and build that.
I know there's so much in yourplate, but don't lose sight of
your integral.
Where do you want to be?
I know, in the end of the day,it's the whole thing of the visa

(57:01):
and getting all these things,but make the most out of these
years.
You're not going to get backthese two, three years and these
are critical, that accelerator.
So you have to put all you havein these two or three years to
get that push for your future.
I would say that second is goout, meet different people.

(57:21):
You've come here.
Try and explore, try and speakabout what's the music that they
, what's the movies they see.
You know, inculcate your own.
You have your own interests tothat, but don't forget that you
are here for a bigger experience.
Learning is not only abouttextbooks.
While I'm saying it, sometimesyou have no option, but I say

(57:42):
you can spend half an hour, onehour a day to kind of learn a
little bit more and prepareyourself for your career.
I know many of them are so muchinto technology that you know
they're always online.
So I said, make more use ofthat I try and see, help them
with that, because sometimesthey there's so much happening

(58:02):
that they lose sight on whatthey're actually here for.
So and there are lots of peopleto help I always tell them that
look out.
You will see genuine peoplewho've been in your same
situation here to help you.

Gurasis (58:15):
And I think now we have like so many resources you know
sort of like platforms, reachout to people One of them you
work with the immigrant networksas well, you know who connect
people with other individualswho can help them.
So many of these things werejust not there, at least like
five years ago when I moved toCanada.
It just wasn't there.
But I can be a little hesitantto ask for that help.

(58:38):
So I think I'm a very courage,international students, that
nobody's.
It's the truth that nobody'scoming to help you.
You really have to take thateffort and ask for that help.
I remember you also mentioningthis line.
You know it's a lot of youpushing yourself out.
Nobody's coming to push you onthat.

Luna (58:56):
It's like the crying child gets the food right, like so
you have to see again.
That's the fear versus I thinkit's also fear of failure is so
high in us that we are so scared.
But you know the failure orregret that you will have of not
doing it will be far more.
So I always tell people the maxthat you will get from somebody

(59:18):
is no, I can't do it, that'sfine, move on.
If this person doesn't help,there will be somebody else.
Don't have that fear stoppingyou from doing it.
The most silly question you askme make you feel that, oh, this
person is inquisitive, curious.
Let me take this person undermy wing and mentor him or her.
It could just mean that oneright person comes into your

(59:38):
life.

Gurasis (59:39):
And what would you say, luna, to the people or I would
say international students whoare questioning their decision
to move to Canada?
Because I am in contact withfew, few students and they asked
this question to me all thetime that you are here, from
five years.
Did you have any times or didyou have any situations or phase
where you were questiondecision that?
Why did I come here?
Things are not working out,things are not happening, so I

(01:00:01):
want you to answer this question.
How would you answer this?

Luna (01:00:04):
I think it's just all of us in some point, no matter how
great our journeys have been.
It could be like our jobs aregoing, financially, everything
is going well, but maybe connecttwice.
Or social-wise it's not all theother way.
You have great friends butnothing is happening.
It's all of us.
So I think that's the pain thateveryone has to endure, like

(01:00:25):
there's every change everythinghas, and sometimes I know it can
be.
That's why I say have those twoor three people whom you can
reach out to.
Sometimes I also know Gurus.
Is that maybe people?
You don't?
This is something which studentstell me.
I don't want to speak to peopleback home because I don't want
to load them with thinking thatI am doing this.

(01:00:46):
So they don't have people whomthey can call back home because
they feel that, oh my God, theywill feel upset, my father will
feel upset, my mother will feelor my sister will feel upset.
So take one or two.
It would be a friend that youhave.
Talk about it because, to behonest, none of us I think maybe
the degrees are varying None ofus have had an easy journey.
Everyone has gone through thatthat.

(01:01:08):
Have I come here to do this?
Why did I do this?
I had such a comfortable, evenif I go back.
So it's always, as I said, thatinertia is always going to push
you.
Having said that, gurus alwayslook at have you done everything
?
Somebody who asks me this, Iwill say think very, very
practically.
Have you done everything thatis in your mind to make it

(01:01:32):
happen?
99% of the people have notRight because they're so
stressed sometimes.
It is a natural process whenyou're stressed, when you're
upset, you don't think straight.
So just one person or twopeople speak to them, write down
what is your course and have aplan.
Always have a plan B.

(01:01:52):
If this is not working, what doI do next?
So I think it's like anythingnever don't give up.
Second is try as much as youcan.
Third is block noise.
Sometimes you will hear morepeople saying things that you
want to hear rather than whatyou don't want to hear.

(01:02:12):
So when you're feeling down andsomebody's saying that, oh, I
think you should, just you knowdon't do this.
As I said, this is all of ushave gone through irrespective,
and I can understand.
International students wouldprobably have more because they
have more added pressures too.

Gurasis (01:02:29):
So you have mentioned it throughout our conversation,
luna, that you have had thatdiscovery and that whole process
, or took your ears to findyourself and you're basically,
you know, saying that I loveyourself, you love yourself.
And but tell me, if any of ourlisteners is going through maybe
like a similar phase or similardiscovery, what advice would

(01:02:50):
you give to them or any sort oflike insights that you can share
, that they should like follow,that can help they can basically
learn to love themselves alittle more?

Luna (01:03:01):
I think one again.
While I say that, I'm still inthe process.
I've been a little bit betterof self accepting, but again, we
all again are human beings,right, every time we see
ourselves in certain situations.
I would say that ensure that,especially when you I say this
even for people who go forinterviews right, when you go in
for an interview and some of ustake the public transport I

(01:03:23):
used to do it and this helped me.
It was a very clinical way takea diary, okay, and immediately,
once you sit in the train, justafter you've had an interview
which was extremely good forextremely bad take down notes.
How are you feeling?
What are some of the points youthought are going well, did
well, what's something that youabsolutely did, a future of

(01:03:46):
right.
So, writing those things downand then just keep, because
sometimes what happens is timeplays with you.
When you think about that thingin two days time, it becomes a
little colored.
So I realized that this helpedme, even when I was having
conversations with new people.
How did I present myself?
Was there anything?

(01:04:06):
And then I started askingfeedback from people.
Okay, I took a lot of mockinterviews or anything like that
.
People used to say we take mymock interview.
I used to ask them when I askedyou a question, did you feel
comfortable?
Did my body language come?
So I did a lot of like thatfrom people.
I asked a lot of my friends.
I took a lot of help from myfamily members and I'm

(01:04:29):
comfortable with like, what doyou think works, what works, and
it's constantly that feedbackfrom others and how you're
feeling about it.
But sometimes you're overcritical about yourself.
I'll stop doing that and it's agood sign you're over critical.
That means you have highexpectations of yourself, right.
So I always tell people makenotes of how you are feeling.

(01:04:50):
If you're feeling bad aboutsomething, if you're feeling not
so great, write it down orvocalize it.
Some people don't like to writeit, vocalize it or just record
it on your phone, right?
So when you start hearingyourself after the few, why did
I feel that?
And then sometimes some ofthese things that I wrote down,
I read two years down and waslike, how silly was I?

(01:05:12):
Like you know, this is not sucha big deal.
Why was I feeling that way?
Because I think I brain alsokind of fuzzes out certain
things how you feel, how you aredoing, and things like.
So it's important.
I think that helped me.
Second is if you've really notdone something well, it's okay,

(01:05:32):
just forget about it.
Like you just write down whatyou could do better, then just
move on.
I've seen so many people wholike, have this, they've done,
they've given it all in theirinterview, they've really done
well or really bombed, and thenthey feel bad and then that
affects their furtherconversations down the line too.
End of the day, one thing whichI do is just if you can just

(01:05:56):
try and write down three thingsthat you would really proud
about.
I have done it.
During COVID, I used to keep abowl and I used to keep one
thing which I did well today,and then after I think I did it
for about eight, nine months itwas so beautiful the days when I
used to feel bad, I used tojust open it and read it.
I was like, oh, I did this,also, I did this.
So I used to do that like agratitude bowl kind of thing,

(01:06:18):
which just helps you and thenwork on yourself.
That's all, with whateverfeedback it's important that you
do, with what feedback that youget.
I have somebody saying that youneed to do this good, or you
could do this better, and youfeel that, yeah, I do need to do
it and you don't do anythingabout it.
It's not going to go any better.

Gurasis (01:06:34):
So yeah, yeah, great, great suggestions.
Luna, you know what I do.
I actually don't write, I dothe audio journaling, literally,
Like you just mentioned.
Sometimes you can do call.
I do that not every day, to bevery honest, but I do that at
times when I'm feeling a littlelow at times or something

(01:06:54):
amazing.
At times I do record it becauseI really wanna record the
emotion I am, so that I can,whenever I can go back and
listen to it, I can feel thatemotion again.
That's how I do it at times.
Yeah, that's beautiful becauseit's also.

Luna (01:07:08):
It's so humbling because sometimes you're like, oh, my
God, I've grown so much fromthere.
Oh, I did that at that time.
That was such a big thing, Bigthing for me, and it's so
humbling.
So I think people should lookat this.

Gurasis (01:07:25):
I think it also helps me sometimes see the mystery
around our lives.
Basically, you see the, forexample, if you really join the
dots, you really see that whycertain thing didn't work out
because I was supposed to reachhere or why that thing worked
out because it was supposed totake me to the next journey of

(01:07:45):
mine.
So you really have that time toreally see the bigger picture
at times you have thisdocumentation.

Luna (01:07:52):
I totally agree with this.
This is something again which Iif something is not happening
and you're trying too hard, it'sjust not meant to be Sometimes.
You just need to give it time,it will come in the right time,
right.
So that's an amazing thing thatyou're saying.

Gurasis (01:08:09):
Okay, luna.
So now we're in the finalsegment of the podcast.
I call it Beneath the Accentbecause we are knowing each
other beneath the accent.
I'm going to ask a couple ofquestions.
You can answer them in one wordor a sentence, or however you
feel like.
The idea is just to know moreabout you and since you are a
listener of the podcast, I havechanged the questions a little
bit to make it a little moredifficult for you.

(01:08:29):
So ready, yeah.
So what advice would you giveto Luna who is in the initial
months of landing in Canada?
Don't stress, it will getbetter.
Is this something you recentlybought that you now regret?

Luna (01:08:45):
I'm actually a quite a conscious buyer.
I was somebody who used to buya lot, so I do that thing.
I put it on the cart, wait for24 hours to see if I really need
it or not.
So really not purchase.
Actually, I don't regret no,it's something that I regretted.
Right, I didn't.
I don't have anything that Iregret.

Gurasis (01:09:04):
If you had to describe yourself as any creature, what
would it be?
I would say a dog.

Luna (01:09:09):
I think I have two dogs.
I connect so much with them Ijust feel that in some birth of
mine I might have been a dog,like I sometimes think.
I connect with them somehowbetter than humans sometimes.
Yeah, I think, yeah, I wouldsay a dog.

Gurasis (01:09:24):
I connect.
So what's next on your bucketlist?

Luna (01:09:28):
I actually want to explore a little bit more about the
student community.
I really want to do somethingmore.
I know I have done a little bitof work, but this is I won't
say that I've really spent time.
I know people directly havecontacted me and I've helped in
whatever capacity.
I want to do something a littlebit more focused on it.

(01:09:50):
I'm still thinking about it.
Thankfully I've gotten to thatspace within the college and
trying and seeing what I can do,but that's something.
I want to do something more forthe immigrant and student
community.

Gurasis (01:10:01):
Who's your go-to person ?

Luna (01:10:04):
The past three years.
It's my sister, I think myolder sister.
She is about seven years olderto me.
I think I go to her becausethere's no judgment at all, so I
can just say the mostinteresting, the most silly
thing.
And then, even if I think aboutsomething silly, I just message
her on WhatsApp and this iswhat I'm feeling in them.

(01:10:25):
She'd be like it's okay.
So if somebody really listensto my conversation with her,
she's like oh my God, this girlis so confused.
Sometimes she's saying thatshe's so my sister.

Gurasis (01:10:37):
Okay, what's the most unusual or unique food you have
tried and did you like it?
I?

Luna (01:10:43):
actually had I don't know.
It was a seafood with talons,some things, nails, okay.
So I was thinking it's prawnand I was like I was biting into
it and it was like kind ofrubbery and somebody told me it
had a nail of some.
So it smelled a little funnybut it was tasty but I kind of

(01:11:03):
okay, I have like, but yeah,that's something which I think
is very weird.

Gurasis (01:11:08):
If you could swap lives with someone for a day, who
would it be and why?

Luna (01:11:13):
Oh, this is such a nice question I would like to swap,
probably with the Obamas.
Hit the Barack Obama, michelleObama, definitely, yeah, yeah,
why I think they say the rightthing.

(01:11:34):
Right?
They always say Always, yes,always.
So how did they come?
It's very intriguing, right?
They say the right thing, theydo the right things.
What's happening in their livesthat makes them say these right
things?
I know there's this politicalPR and everything like that, but
it's interesting to see.
I would love to live their life, maybe a week.

Gurasis (01:11:59):
It would be interesting to know what's the daily dose
of wisdom that they get, whichthey're imparting.

Luna (01:12:05):
And it's not easy to be in that space where you're always
scrutinized and to remain andsay these things that you are
doing.
And Barack Obama, while he'swon the Nobel Peace Prize, and
there are some lot ofcontroversial things Like
there's a lot of things that youknow intrigue me about them.

Gurasis (01:12:24):
Do you have any quirky habits or rituals that you
follow in your daily routine?

Luna (01:12:28):
I actually need to have like masala tea every day, like
that.
I don't know, maybe it's anadage for my other, the ginger
tea, that they have Indianginger tea, that is.
If I don't have it, I thinkpsychologically I feel like I'm
just having a bad day.
So I think that's somethingwhich fuels my day.
I really love, I think, when Istart my day with a nice ginger

(01:12:51):
tea, my day goes really well.
I think it's a superstition ofwhat I don't know, but yeah, so
everyone my house, if my mood isnot good, like, or I'm like
looking down or somethingthey'll say didn't you have your
tea in the morning?
And then it would be that thatday maybe I missed it or I just
had like hot water instead, orsomething.

Gurasis (01:13:08):
If you could be a contestant in a reality TV show,
which one would you choose?

Luna (01:13:14):
It was something which I wanted to, because it's like I
think I have a hidden dancer inme.
I'm not I won't say I'm good,but I don't know.
I get transported when I seedance in any form.
I actually spent hours like mymom and I, and maybe Jill on
these dance programs, I'll besure so we both love it.

(01:13:34):
So I think if I had to do thatsomething in dance, it could be
like even Indian classical dance.
I just feel that dancers have aspecial blessing or gift from
God, like that's something whichthey have.
So, yeah, a dancer for sure.

Gurasis (01:13:50):
Have you ever tried to learn or train yourself, any of?

Luna (01:13:53):
the I actually, to be honest, because I'm Jack of all
trade, master of none, so I dida little bit of classical
dancing.
I used to do a lot of Bollywooddance till, I think, my first
job.
I used to go for classes andall, so I always had that
somewhere.
That's something which I wouldlike to bring back dancing in

(01:14:16):
some form or the other.
I feel a lot of it.
But yeah, I think, yeah, it's agood reminder for me, but it's
now that you're saying thatstart looking at something new
to do next year.

Gurasis (01:14:26):
So describe Canada in one word or a sentence.
What word can?

Luna (01:14:31):
I use.

Gurasis (01:14:32):
I think you already answered it by calling it a
quilt, which I absolutely loved.

Luna (01:14:36):
Yeah, I think that I completely believe it, because
there's so many of us wanting tomake this beautiful piece bomb
fuzzy and having everyone cometogether.
We are constantly working onthis huge quote, so yeah.

Gurasis (01:14:49):
Canada is.
So if you could leave me withone piece of advice, what would
it be?

Luna (01:14:54):
Continue doing what you're doing.
But it says you are kind ofbringing learnings and journey,
and I know it's.
I told you this before.
It's not easy to spend yourtime to do something for others.
Continue doing that.
You never know.
You're putting such a lot ofpositivity in the universe.
It's bound to come back thenfall to you.
So continue doing this job.

(01:15:16):
I look forward to seeing muchmore.
I have learned so much from allyour podcasts and I also kind
of have one something.
Whenever I listen to yourpodcast, I have one thing that I
take back, either as a thoughtor something that I should do.
So thank you for that, chriscontinue, thank you.

Gurasis (01:15:31):
Thank you for kind words.
That's definitely my goal.
So how would you describe yourexperience of being on the
podcast as a guest, now, notonly a listener?

Luna (01:15:40):
As I said, it was such a beautiful because this helped me
go back to my 15 year old self,my 21 year old self, the time I
moved and now how I am, andwhile I'm still on the journey
of, you know, being a betterversion of me.
I think I really loved it,because you don't do it every
day, right.
So it's a great experience andI hope that, with whatever

(01:16:01):
little that I have shared, itmakes a difference to at least
one person, so I'd be happy ifthat happens.

Gurasis (01:16:08):
I'm sure about that.
So, on that note, thank you somuch, duna, for being on the
podcast and adding value to mylisteners.
Thank you, thank you, marissa.
Hey listener, thank you formaking it to the end.
I highly highly appreciate youlistening to the podcast.
Subscribe to the podcast if youhaven't as yet, and please
share with your friends oranybody you think would like it.

(01:16:28):
And, like I always say, weencourage you to follow your
heart but also ask.
On Instagram, the handle ismythicaccent.
You can also leave us a reviewor write to us at
helloatmythicaccentcom.
So stay tuned and let'scontinue knowing each other
beneath the accent.

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Finding Home Abroad: Tale of Cultural Integration and Self-Acceptance | Ft. Luna Daniel Ep. 047

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Finding Home Abroad: Tale of Cultural Integration and Self-Acceptance | Ft. Luna Daniel Ep. 047