#101 - “My Deepest, Darkest Limiting Belief: I Can’t Help Others if My Business Isn’t Thriving”

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In this super honest solo episode, I unpack a limiting belief that’s followed me for years: “I can’t help others with their business if mine isn’t thriving.” As I deepen my coaching journey and reflect on what true success means, I’m realizing how deeply ingrained this belief is—and how untrue it actually is. I share the honest behind-the-scenes of my work, money mindset, slow growth, and how I’m redefining success to align with values over volume. If you’ve ever felt like you’re not “far enough” to help others, this episode is for you.

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“Thriving doesn’t always look like a massive income. It looks like helping people, making an impact, and doing work that aligns with your soul.”

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode is going to be super honest.
I'm just gonna share somethoughts I've been working
through in my own business andlife.
It's about a limiting beliefthat keeps popping up I can't
help other people with theirbusiness if mine isn't thriving.
Hey and welcome to PatternShift, the podcast for

(00:20):
fiber-loving business ownersshaping a slower, more
sustainable world.
I'm Saskia, a creative businesscoach and support guide for
makers, teachers, designers andindie shop owners in the needle
and fiber arts.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
I help you way, find your next step organize your
business to fit your life andlaunch ideas with joy and action
.
Let's untangle the yucky bitslike branding, marketing and
sales and build somethingsustainable soulful and truly
you.
So grab your favorite brew teacoffee or you know, and let's
ship the pattern, one stitch ata time.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Just a quick check in from the last episode, which
was my 100th episode, and Iplead, I plead for reactions,
feedback, something from you,and then I managed to not have
the right links in my show notesand in my newsletters how?

(01:21):
So if you wanted to sharesomething with me, you can
obviously still do it.
I corrected everything.
You can go back to the 100episode.
I would love to hear yourthoughts about this podcast and
the future of it, because I'mmaking it for you and you are
supposed to have an opinion andI love to hear it, so just let

(01:45):
me know.
It's going to be just me andsome thoughts I've been thinking
and working through in my ownbusiness and life, and it's
about a limiting belief thatkeeps popping up In my coaching
studies.
I'm working with limitingbeliefs, and what is great about

(02:05):
studying something to helpothers is that you learn so much
about yourself as well.
It can be quite confronting,but it can also solve these
ongoing things that feel reallywhere you feel really stuck.
So that is I really just lovethat.
This is my limiting belief.

(02:27):
I can't help other people withtheir business if mine isn't
thriving.
This came up during my coachingeducation.
We're learning how to use thework by Byron Katie, which is a
powerful tool for understandingyour thoughts.
It helps you question what youbelieve and you really see the

(02:49):
difference between your thoughtsand your reality.
It's really wild how differentyour experience can become just
by changing the way you think orhow you think or what you think
.
This particular belief has comeup a few times for me.
My business, or this specificbranch of it, is now in its

(03:10):
fourth year and, from a purelybusiness perspective, it should
be making more money by now.
I sometimes feel uncomfortablewith that, because I'm helping
other people with their businessand I care deeply about values
like honesty, transparency andtruth.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
But here's the thing.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
I've never claimed to help people make loads of money
.
I've never sold a get richpromise.
What I do is help people findbalance and build something that
fits their life and organizetheir business in a way that
works for them, specificallyleaning a little bit into some
neurodivergence as well, andactually that's what I've been

(03:51):
doing for myself.
I've built a business thatworks for me.
I'm proud of it.
It aligns with my values.
It gives me joy and space tolive my life, with the one
exception that, yes, I'd love tomake a little bit more money,
but here's where it getscomplicated.
I don't need that money tosurvive and if I did, I would

(04:15):
have found a job in a completelydifferent field a long time ago
, not per se, a differentindustry.
I was actually making a goodprofit with my yarn shop and my
needlecraft school, but I itwould be different, probably one
where I'd feel out of place orunable to be myself if it

(04:36):
actually was about huge amountsof money.
So actually, by that measure, Ihave built a successful
business and it checks all theboxes for me.
Still, I seem to get stuck alot because we've been taught
that success equals financialgrowth, especially online.

(04:57):
There are so many marketingvoices shouting about six-figure
businesses, and I mean sixfigures in one currency is
completely different than sixfigures in another currency.
That's one thing, but that'snot what success means to me.
Success is supporting people.

(05:18):
It's making a difference, it'shelping others feel seen and
understood.
It's making actual connections.
It's inspiring others to dothings their own way.
And, honestly, I'm doing all ofthat, but I'm doing it in a
space where there's very littleinfrastructure for what I do.
Most business owners in theneedlecraft world, in the slow

(05:41):
fashion industry, don't seethemselves as commercial
entrepreneurs as much.
They do it for the love of thecraft, for the material, for the
joy, and they hope to makeenough to live on.
But it's rare for them toinvest in their business beyond
stock or supplies, paying forsupport, coaching or strategy.

(06:03):
That's still very uncommon,which means there aren't many
people doing what I do, becauseit's not a super profitable
niche.
But I want to be here.
I chose to be here because Ibelieve in the power of
creativity and support.
I believe making your ownclothes is very valuable for

(06:25):
mental health, for confidence,for sustainability, for joy.
I want this industry to behealthy so much, and that means
supporting the people who makeit happen, even when there's no
big money in it.
I also know how most peoplelearn business in this world by
watching what others do,primarily on Instagram, by

(06:48):
guessing a little bit, bypatching things together, by
bootstrapping it.
That's what I did myself in thebeginning, and I don't think
formal business education is theanswer either.
I think you learn by doing, butlearning through endless trial
and error takes time, and thattime often leads to burnout.

(07:09):
And that's where I come in.
I help before the burnout.
I help people find claritybefore they spiral.
I'm not building a massivebusiness empire.
I'm supporting the kind ofpeople who keep this creative
world alive.
And sometimes I have to remindmyself I'm doing what in other

(07:30):
countries might be a subsidizedjob.
I know it for a fact that inSweden, people do this job and
they get subsidized by thegovernment.
It's cultural work, it's carework.
It's like a public service,except it's just me doing it
from my home with my puppysleeping.
Right now and now I have timeto do this, and I don't want to

(07:53):
work for a big organization,because that doesn't fit with
how I want to live and work.
So, yeah, sometimes it feelslike I'm doing unpaid labor for
the community.
My work right now is to be okaywith that, to be proud of that
and the lack of fat businessbank account.

(08:15):
I should really regularlyremind myself that it's not a
sign that I'm failing.
It's a sign that I stepped intoa niche that doesn't exist yet.
I'm building something fromscratch and I'm doing it
ethically, in alignment with myvalues, and that makes it really
a lot slower as well, becauseone of those values is not

(08:36):
relying heavily on social media,partly because of what it
represents, but also because Iknow it's not realistic.
For me, social media is afull-time job, or it tends to
become one without you.
It's not just a piece ofmarketing anymore.
For a lot of people, it's awhole machine.
You need a team to do it likequote unquote well, and small

(09:00):
business owners aren't contentcreator.
We're creators full stop.
So I'd rather spend timecreating work that feels good
and focus on reaching the rightpeople in ways that feel right,
and that might be social media,but slightly in a slightly
different way.
For me, that often means slow,organic growth mouth-to-mouth

(09:25):
referrals, kind words sharedbehind the scenes, you sharing
this podcast episode,relationships that build over
time, and I'm okay with that.
Mostly, I still check in withmyself a lot.
I worry sometimes and then Ineed to coach myself on it, and
right now I'm thinking aboutstarting a YouTube channel,

(09:50):
which I know might sound weirdafter everything I just said,
but hear me out.
Podcasting is free content.
It takes time and energy andit's not very searchable.
Most people discover podcaststhrough social media, which I
tend to avoid as much as I can,and I've been experimenting

(10:11):
going back to Instagram in adifferent way Blue Sky,
pinterest, trying to findsomething that feels like a good
long-term match, and I haven'treally found it yet.
I haven't found something thatI feel what I put into it comes
back to me, but I do loveYouTube.
I learned so much from it.

(10:33):
For me, it's like the freeversion of Skillshare, and I
found a few creators.
I love people who show upoccasionally and make videos
that feel thoughtful and real,so maybe that could work for me
too.
I don't know.
There's a lot of ifs and buts,though.
Will it match my values?
Do I want to film parts of mylife?

(10:55):
Is my family okay with that?
Can I handle the inconsistencyof the reality of what my life
is and what if it flops.
I don't want it to become allconsuming, I just want to share
when I feel like I havesomething to say, and I'm
thinking maybe six videos, oneevery month for half a year.

(11:17):
That feels doable and familiar,because that's exactly how I
started this podcast.
I set a small goal and build itfrom there.
And all of this, all thisreflecting this, is the kind of
work I wish more people wouldtake time for, because otherwise
you're just kind of running onautopilot, like putting out

(11:38):
fires here and there, threadingwater or threading water.
Either way, you're stuck inplace and when you're stuck it's
really hard to make decisions.
You say yes to everything oryou say yes to nothing and you
burn out.
And that's where reflection isessential.
It helps you check your compass, it helps you figure out if

(12:00):
you're still on track and if thetrack you're on is still the
right one.
And, honestly, that is why Istarted coaching in the first
place to build space forreflection for myself and the
people I work with.
I've been coached by fellowstudents.
Now for a couple of months, Iuse my bullet journal for
reflection and these tools giveme the space to breathe, reframe

(12:25):
and move forward gently andeven though some beliefs keep
coming back, the work helps mesee them differently each time.
That belief I can't help othersif my business isn't thriving.
It made me feel like a fraud,but I've learned that thriving
doesn't always look like amassive income.

(12:47):
It looks like helping people,making an impact in that way,
doing work that aligns with yoursoul, and that's exactly what
I'm doing.
I may not reach masses, but Iam helping people, and really
that's all I ever wanted.
I'm helping others, I'm helpingmyself, and that is actually

(13:08):
more than enough.
So here's your homework Thinkof one limiting belief that you
have that keeps coming back, andshare it with me.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
Share it with a friend.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Have a talk about it, write it down in your journal,
journal about it.
Do something with that beliefthat you have.
That is always in your way.
I would love to hear it.
I would love to get back to youand perhaps give you a little
tip, if I have one.
So do some deep diving, it'llbe helpful, I'm sure.

(13:48):
Thanks for listening to PatternShift.
If today's episode sparkedsomething for you, I'd love to
hear about it.
Or, better yet, help you takethe next step.
You'll find links to myprograms, community and more
support for your creativebusiness at patentshiftfm.
Until next time, keep creatingwith care and trust your own
pace, and don't forget to eatand stitch your fibers.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
And don't forget to eat and stitch your fibers.