May 1, 2024 • 30 mins
Ever felt like life's a relentless draft, where only the best get picked? That's the adrenaline-fueled world of the NFL draft, a world that teaches us lessons about striving for personal excellence. Join me as we uncover the stark realities of this intense grading system, which mirrors life's natural pecking order. We'll explore why embracing this competitive spirit can catapult us forward in our own lives. With a personal touch, I'll share how my own encounters with failure led to necessary growth, and we'll discuss the importance of qualities scouts seek in players beyond talent—qualities like work ethic and team fit, which undeniably influence our journey to becoming the high-performing individuals we strive to be.
Hear the tale of David, a tech leader juggling career pressures and family commitments, and discover proactive steps we can all take to confront life's quandaries. This episode isn't just about football; it's a playbook for life, showing us how to tackle challenges and evolve into our best selves. Get inspired by those who've walked the path before us, like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who channeled his NFL dreams into a different kind of success. Tune in and prepare to level up, because this discussion is about more than just the game—it's about transforming hard work into a legacy.
Hear the tale of David, a tech leader juggling career pressures and family commitments, and discover proactive steps we can all take to confront life's quandaries. This episode isn't just about football; it's a playbook for life, showing us how to tackle challenges and evolve into our best selves. Get inspired by those who've walked the path before us, like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who channeled his NFL dreams into a different kind of success. Tune in and prepare to level up, because this discussion is about more than just the game—it's about transforming hard work into a legacy.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Being judged will make you a better man.
This episode is going to beabout my learnings from the NFL
draft and I'm extremely pumpedabout this.
I just finished golf, so it'san epic way to start the day,
and then we're about to hit aroad trip to South Carolina, so
I've not seen Amy, my wife, fortwo weeks.
She's been back in Australia,so Liam and I have been batching
(00:21):
over here in the US and Liam'smy brother-in-law and Amy is
flying into South Carolina.
They have a festival on thisweekend, so Liam and I have an
eight-hour road trip after thisto get there.
So super pumped to get overthere and see Amy, but also very
excited to do this episodebecause I learned so much from
the NFL draft around being abetter man and the way that the
(00:45):
people are selected, they'regraded, what they're judged on
and how it can help you be abetter man and a high performing
man.
So buckle up for this one.
If you're driving, I knowyou're going to take so much out
of it and I would recommend, ifyou ask anybody yourself, to
take some notes.
I do have some punchyone-liners here so you will be
(01:06):
able to remember it, and theweekly newsletter has all of
this written down as well.
So make sure you are subscribedto the newsletter.
You can head to my website,themanthatcanprojectcom and you
can subscribe there and you canlook through the archive as well
.
If you do get some value fromthis, so let's dive into it.
So the draft was amazing.
(01:27):
Since I've been in America,I've really dived into the
sports, just to one.
I want to meet people.
I want to learn and enjoy theculture why I'm here?
Because it's so different toback home in Australia and the
draft was fascinating.
A select few had their liveschanged forever and so many
(01:47):
others went home empty-handed.
Right For context, there was257 people drafted, right, young
men drafted and there werearound 3,000 people who entered
the draft.
That's pretty wild, right?
So of those 3,000, there wereprobably thousands of others who
(02:09):
didn't even enter the draft.
They just played their collegeball and moved on to the next
phase of their life.
So it shows how there is alwaysgoing to be a hierarchy, and
that was a huge lesson for me,because we're going through this
interesting time in life whereeveryone feels like life is an
equal playing field and thetruth is it's not.
And the sooner we can acceptthat, the sooner.
(02:31):
We can then move forward tocreate a life that we want to
live.
And I know you're listening tothis podcast and you've been
supporting it for years becauseyou have similar beliefs to me.
Okay, so I want to dive intowhat it's taught me and let's
give you some context and let'sagree upon the fact that high
performing, for how I talk aboutit in this episode, means doing
(02:52):
everything to the best of yourability.
Okay, that is it.
And obviously, when you reachthe best of your ability, you
will continue to grow andcompound on that.
So it is within our control.
Unlike the results of a draft,there's so many variables, and
that's what were some of the bigkey learnings that I'm going to
dive into here.
So, as well, there's some ofyou maybe thinking what I was
(03:16):
thinking.
There's plenty of successfulmen out there who I wouldn't say
would be high performing.
Right, they've had luck ontheir side, they've had politics
on their side, but we can'tcontrol that, so we don't focus
on it.
Remember, the definition ofhigh performing is to the best
of their ability.
It brings that quote to mindhard work beats talent when
(03:40):
talent doesn't work hard.
That works for the draft and inlife, and I want you to think
about that.
I want that to just sink in fora moment.
There's been so many things inmy life that I have worked
towards.
Where I haven't been the mosttalented and I would say that
with rugby I was not verytalented at all, but I had a
(04:05):
desire to want to do well.
I believed it would make mesuccessful.
I believed it would help mestop being bullied.
So I worked hard and I beat alot of the talented people
because they weren't working ashard, and I'm sure you have
moments in your life where youcan think about that, or there's
things that you want in yourlife that you really want that.
(04:26):
If you just adopted the mindsetof how do I work hard, meaning,
how do I perform to the best ofmy ability and continue to grow
in these areas, what are theone percenters that my
competition aren't doing?
That I could build upon and getbetter results.
They're the things that youneed to be thinking, and I
tweeted this out.
(04:47):
Nfl scouts are observing players, so all year they have their
region and they'll fly aroundand they'll start making notes
on players.
They'll look at their skill,they'll look at their medical
history, they'll look at howthey communicate, they'll check
out their attitude.
They'll check out their speed,power, explosiveness, their work
ethic and how they fit into ateam.
(05:07):
So there's so many things thatthey look at, but essentially
they're being judged.
People hate to be judged.
We fear judged and we almostthink it's wrong.
It is so important to judge fromthe right perspective.
People get upset when we judgeothers, but it's important for
(05:29):
obvious reasons, as you're maybestarting to realize.
Whether it's picking your lifepartner, whether it's picking
your career, whether it'spicking the hobbies that you
want to have, you need to makejudgment, because some people do
things that you won't agreewith, and if you chose not to
(05:51):
judge and hang out with them,then you're probably going to
start doing things that youdon't agree with.
So it doesn't always matter howor whether you're the most
talented.
You need to be able to addvalue to the entire organization
and give it the best chance ofwinning the Super Bowl, and
that's in the draft context.
So the players are aware ofthis, the staff member are aware
(06:15):
of this and the fans are sureas shit aware of this.
We went to the draft party downhere at Nissan Stadium and the
Tennessee Titans which I'mliving in Tennessee were pick
seven, and you saw all the firstsix people get picked and who
the Titans picked, and I can'tremember off the top of my head
(06:36):
who it was.
But the fans the loyal fans whowere at the stadium where we
were, were not impressed with it.
Everyone was like no, that'snot what we need.
And so you will always bejudged.
But what some people don'tthink about is what is best for
the organization, or what isbest for the relationship, or
(06:56):
what is best for you.
And this is where judgmentbecomes very powerful, right.
And those who really want to, Iguess, move into a certain area
, they are aware that they arebeing judged.
Right.
I knew that when I met Amy, shewas going to judge me.
(07:18):
Is this a man that I wouldspend the rest of my life with?
At the time she saw somethingin me, but I didn't see that in
myself.
But because I knew that thejudgment was there and I had to
be better in order for ourrelationship to last and to, I
guess, be life partners, Iwasn't going to leave it up to
(07:39):
chance.
I judged myself.
I thought about things that Ihad control over, right, things
like my attitude, my work ethic,my physical appearance, my
personal standards, how Icommunicated, the skills that I
had, my relationships that Ikept, the company that I kept.
I had control over all of that,and you do as well.
(08:04):
So when you're thinking about,if people judge you on those
specific things, what is thehighest performing version of
yourself showing up as their?
What's your attitude, what'syour physical appearance like?
So start thinking about that.
You may not like it that you'rejudged on that, but welcome to
the real fucking world.
(08:25):
People want to be around peoplethat are inspiring them and are
making their life better.
So if you aren't doing that,once again, it may not be
personal, and most of the timeit's not.
It's just a redirection.
Think about this for yourself.
You have probably had a jobthat you just didn't like.
(08:47):
You may have judged this howthe manager ran the operation.
You may have judged how youwere spoken to.
You may have judged thestandards that they had, but you
either agreed with them or youdisagreed.
And that's you judging basedoff what you expect, okay, based
(09:07):
on where you want to fit in.
And so if it's okay for you todo that, why is it not okay for
other people to do that.
If we're just trying to live ourbest life, if we're just trying
to build our best business orhave the most loving
relationship or friendship orhave wild adventures, it's
(09:30):
important to judge that becausethat's the feedback.
And if you really care aboutyour future and this is what I
love talking about I talk aboutit so much within our academy
but you'll use this to youradvantage Knowing that you're
going to be judged, you canfocus on allowing for better
judgment in the areas Like whatdo you want to be, what can you
control and how are you going toshow up.
(09:52):
So I really want you to thinkabout that.
What are the things that youcan control that are going to
influence for better judgment inyour life?
And it becomes so much easierwhen you know what you want from
your life right, and whenyou're very clear on what you
want.
And this is why we talk aboutvision a lot in the
(10:13):
self-discovery program and Ithink you know creating a vision
is the most important part ofany planning.
You know, ultimately it's justthe long-term thinking when do
you want to be in five years'time?
Where do you want to be in 10years' time?
Because you can then work back.
You can then take into accountthe relationship aspects of your
(10:35):
life, the leisure andrecreation you can think about
how your health needs to be,what about your finances, and
when you have a plan to do that,an idea of what that looks like
, you can start setting goalsand creating a plan which allows
you to do that.
So it's really fun to be ableto work back, and Jim Rohn has
(10:57):
an awesome quote If you don'tdesign your own life plan,
chances are you'll fall intosomeone else's plan and guess
what they've got planned for you?
Not much, unfortunately.
Most people spend most of theirtime complaining about this.
We don't like it, and I feelpersonally that that comes from
(11:21):
the fact or even the sense ofnot being in control of our life
, when, ultimately, all of ushave control over our life.
Everyone's situation isdifferent and unique, and you
may have more dependence andvariables that make it more
challenging.
However, up until that point,all the decisions have been off
the back of you, and so it canbe very uncomfortable to
(11:45):
recognize that.
I know it was veryuncomfortable for me back in
2013 to hear or recognize thateverything that I've gotten to
this point is because of me.
I didn't like what I had atthat point in my life.
I was broke, I had terriblerelationships and I wasn't happy
with myself, and that wasbecause of me.
(12:06):
The best thing that happenedfrom that was once I said okay,
if that's because of me, it alsomeans that I can get myself out
of here by doing thingsdifferently.
I believe we all have uniqueinterests, right, we have
(12:27):
different likes, we havedifferent dislikes.
We have different desiredoutcomes, ideas of success,
beliefs, people that we want tospend our time with, and because
of this, it would be safe toassume that people would have
opposing views to us, meaningyou could butt heads with people
, you could disagree with people, but it's how you choose to
(12:49):
respond or react that mattersmost.
How do you show up in thoseareas?
I'm interested in endurancesports, I love exploring the
outdoors and I hate going bloodyshopping, whether it's for
groceries or just clothes, I'mjust not a fan.
Find me on Amazon, buy it,deliver it to the house.
That's what I like and that'sokay that I have those likes and
(13:12):
dislikes, just like it's okaythat you have your unique likes
and dislikes and interests anddesires.
That's what makes you unique.
So stop taking it personallywhen someone is different or
they don't accept you for youand move on, because it is just
a redirection, that's all it is.
(13:34):
It doesn't need to be anythingmore personal than that.
So many of us really get stuckin life because we're like, oh,
you know, something's wrong withme and I feel you, man, I was
like that for ages.
I felt for years that I didn'tfit in.
But the problem was I wastrying to fit in.
I was not being my authenticself, and the difference in that
(13:58):
is when people are trying tofit in, you know, you might be
trying to fit into a specificcrowd or role or relationship.
It means you're not beingauthentic, you're shying away
from parts of yourself.
You know.
Let's say, for example, someonein here has listened to this and
they go.
I want to hang out with Lockie,I really like what he talks
(14:19):
about and you hate endurancesports.
You might not like that, butyou go.
I'm going to pretend to likeendurance sports because I want
to fit in with that crowd.
Now, two things could happenfrom that.
One, you may end up lovingendurance sports and we could
become best buddies awesome.
Or secondly, you just go.
Man, this is not a fulfillingrelationship.
(14:39):
I don't like going andexploring the outdoors, I don't
like always doing the endurancesports stuff, and that is
completely okay too.
What you can learn from that ishey, that's not one of your
interests.
What are you interested in andwhere are those people hanging
out?
And I've got to tie this backinto, obviously, the football.
(15:01):
I've gone off on a bit of atangent, but this is really.
We'll tie this back in.
So for me personally, after Iwas faced with the harsh truth
and a few significant failuresin my life, I knew that I needed
improvement if I wanted abetter life.
You may be in that positionright now.
It was hard to face the music,to hear that I had treated
(15:23):
people poorly, I was a liar andI never followed through on
things.
I always changed whenever itgot hard.
And I had two choices I couldkeep blaming everyone else or I
could get better.
And I was at the point in mylife where I was ready to get
better.
And I'm asking you thisquestion Are you ready to get
better?
And I'm asking you thisquestion are you ready to get
(15:44):
better?
I set the goal to make a milliondollars and I started doing
what I needed to do to achievethat.
It highlighted areas that Iguess needed the most
improvement so I could achievethe goal.
I had to learn sales right.
I had to learn to sell myself,to sell people into my vision.
That's hard.
I had to read books, listen topodcasts, make cold calls, but
(16:06):
that was part of learning.
I had to learn marketing how toinspire people to create change
.
It's the reason why some of youmay have come to the podcast,
and it's probably one of theskills that I need the most help
with, if I'm being honest, oneof the skills that I need the
most help with, if I'm beinghonest.
I had to improve mycommunication.
It's why I started a podcast tolearn to share my ideas, to be
(16:35):
challenged, to learn aboutpeople, ask better questions,
and I had to finally learnemotional regulation.
I felt threatened all the time,I was insecure and I was
jealous and I didn't like seeingother people succeed when I was
such a failure.
So I had to learn to regulatemy emotions.
So as they rose up, I had tosee them for what they were and
I said look, emotions are normal.
It's okay to feel sad, it'sokay to be jealous, it's okay to
(16:57):
be pissed off, but how wouldthe highest performing version
of myself respond?
And the NFL players have tolearn these things as well,
because if you're signing an NFLcontract, you're selling
yourself to a team, you'remarketing your values and, I
guess, your morals and yourethics.
You're communicating.
You have to fit in well with anew team.
(17:18):
You have to fit in with thefans and communicate who you are
as an individual and theemotional regulation of in and
out.
Each week.
It's like you go from being astud at college, right A starter
, and then you may not startdirectly in the NFL and that can
be hard to deal with becauseyou go from being at the top to
being at the bottom of thepecking order, regardless of
(17:40):
when you get taken in the draft.
Okay, so I had to learn a lotmore skills apart from that.
That was just the examples thatI'd written down here, but
nothing came easy to me.
I had this belief that I wasn'tsmart, I didn't excel at school
and I really struggled to learn.
But over time, as I startedlearning things that interest me
(18:02):
and I could see how they wereapplied in my life, that belief
shifted.
I was like man, I'm actuallyquite intelligent.
When I'm interested insomething.
It becomes so much easier tolearn when you're interested in
something.
So find the things that you'reinterested in, try and make
sense of how they can fit intoyour life or how they can be
(18:24):
applied, and it becomes fun.
I feared making wrong decisions, as I'm sure you have as well.
I want to give you an example,and an example that I wrote down
here.
So David, 42, leads a departmentat a tech company and he has
two young children.
(18:44):
He fears that his demanding job, which often requires late
nights and weekends, will makehim miss irreplaceable moments
in his children's lives, such asschool plays and sport matches.
This fear is intensified bymemories of his own father's
frequent absence due to work.
So he's sitting here and he'storn between the role as a
(19:08):
provider and his desire to be apresent parent.
There are only two options.
Option one he could exploreflexible work arrangements with
his employer, such as workingfrom home on certain days or
delegating tasks to team members, allowing him to attend
important family events withoutcompromising his professional
(19:31):
responsibilities.
Two he does nothing and buildsresentment towards his career.
How would you respond?
One's proactive, one's reactive?
His career how would yourespond?
One's proactive, one's reactive?
So let's say you commit tolearning and growing as a man.
What happens if, like the 2,750or 2,750 other draft applicants
(19:59):
, you didn't get selected by ateam right, you didn't get
selected in your dream job, youdidn't get selected by your
dream chick?
What do you do?
How do you respond?
This is the reality that morepeople are faced with, so you
better be ready for it.
It's going to happen at somepoint.
(20:20):
Think about Dwayne the RockJohnson, for example.
Right, I'm just going to brushover this story really quickly,
but he spent much of his youngeryears with the desire to play
in the NFL, only to fail at thefinal hurdle.
He didn't give up on life,though.
He pivoted.
He used the things that he'dlearned while trying to go pro
to allow him to be a highperformer, one as a wrestler and
(20:43):
now as an actor.
He's seriously one of the mostrecognizable people on the
planet planet.
So if you focus on who you'rebecoming, these skills become
transferable.
There is no wasted time, so Iwant to share the three things
that I learned from the draft.
I know it took a little whileto get here, but that are going
(21:04):
to help me with life and shiftperspective, and I wanted to
share that with you, number one.
Everyone has a different numberone.
You know how people say likeyou're my number one to their
partner, or or that's my numberone job that I want, or I want
to be the number one runner, orwhatever it may be.
The thing is, scouts are notonly looking for the best
(21:25):
players, right, but they wantplayers who are going to fill
the holes in the team.
So no team is the same.
Some have stronger offenses,others have stronger defenses,
but the goal is to build uponthe weakling to give them the
best shot of winning the SuperBowl.
So if we viewed life like this,I feel less people would get
(21:47):
offended, because not everythingis personal.
Businesses are just trying toget the right people for their
culture and for the growth thatthey're looking for.
People who are dating arelooking for the right life
partner.
It's not personal, it's justeveryone has different needs.
So you may want something, butthe timing may not be right, or
(22:08):
you just may not be what thatsomeone or that something is
looking for.
So do you give up on life or doyou pivot?
The key is being your numberone, knowing your worth, so that
you don't settle and you don'ttake it personally.
The whole reason why thisself-discovery course is
(22:29):
available?
Because it helps you becomeyour number one.
It helps you discover moreabout who you are, what you want
from life, where you fit in,what your worth is, so that
moments like this don't impactyou.
Like some of these people fromthe draft both those who got
selected and both those whodidn't get selected will have a
great sense of self.
(22:50):
They will not be defined bywhere they were picked or
whether they weren't picked, andothers, regardless of whether
they were picked or they weren't, it will define them for the
rest of their life.
Number two high performers focuson every detail.
Details matter.
This year's first draft pick,caleb Williams, had the goal to
(23:13):
be the number one draft picksince he was 12 years old.
At 12 years old, I'm 33.
Now.
That's 21 years ago.
Obviously, he's not 33, butthat's like me having that goal
21 years ago.
He has said how he was focusedon achieving that every day
since he was 12.
The moment one game finished orone season finished, he started
(23:35):
preparing for the next, and whenyou have a vision of where you
want your life to be, you knowthat long-term thinking.
When you finish and achieve onegoal, you're on to the next,
because you're building, brickby brick towards the life that
you want and you're becoming adifferent person along the way.
You're, I guess, adopting moreresponsibilities on the way,
(23:56):
whether it's staff members,whether it's children, whether
it's a mortgage right, you'readopting those things, but
you're becoming the person youneed to be to handle that right.
Those high performancestandards have made Caleb
Williams $38 million richer.
That's what he got paid forthis draft pick.
Pretty juicy.
We can use this for life.
(24:17):
So when one training sessionfinishes, one date night
finishes, or one day at work isfinished, start preparing for
the next.
That's how you can get ahead ofmost people.
How can you make it better?
What did you enjoy about yourlast experience?
It doesn't take too much time,but it will amplify your results
.
How can you make it better?
What did you enjoy about yourlast experience?
It doesn't take too much time,but it will amplify your results
(24:41):
.
Third, the skills and standardsare transferable.
You don't get drafted.
So now what?
Some players let it definetheir life.
As I was just saying, the truehigh performers know that it's
just a redirection.
They aren't defined by football.
It was a goal, it was a seasonof life.
Some will continue to pursue itthrough other routes, like the
(25:02):
NFL they will and others willjust move on to that next season
.
They'll move into it happily,so what they learned from being
in the elite environment willserve them in the next step.
Your standards are theexpectations and criteria that
you set for yourself in behaviorand in achievement.
Standards are extremelyimportant and it's something
(25:23):
that's getting added into theself-discovery program, because
I've really been thinking aboutwhy my results are different to
people and I guess the standardsthat I set for my clients and
it's something that a lot ofpeople don't think about.
So things like how you dealwith pressure, overcoming
adversity, working in a teamthey're all extremely valuable
skill, hugely valuable skills,actually, even personal branding
(25:47):
in today's world.
This is a huge reason why youshouldn't hold yourself back.
You're just getting started.
Results aren't guaranteed, butaccumulating those high
performance habits, the skills,the mindset and the network
often pay off in the long run.
So my idea is this Regardlessof what you want to achieve in
(26:08):
your life, you got to have alife's vision.
As I was saying, this helps youset goals, helps you develop
your personal standards rightand gives you purpose, and it is
what we teach in theself-discovery program.
This allows you to get up everyday with the goal to be 1%
better right, very achievablebeing 1% better.
Your results aren't guaranteed.
(26:28):
There are way too manyvariables in life.
I know you will become anincredible man if you focus on
building these high-performancehabits.
It doesn't need to becomplicated, it just needs to be
consistent.
Life is tough.
You're going to be judged andyou need to focus on the
judgment that's going to makeyou better, right?
So choose people whose judgmentmatters, whose, I guess, the
(26:51):
weight of what they tell you orwhat they say to you matters,
because there's a lot of people,right, they say opinions are
like assholes Everyone's got one.
So if that's the case, selectimportant people in your life
who you value their judgment.
So thank you, guys for tuningin this week.
If you got value from this,please share this on your
socials.
Every time you share it, ithelps me get this in front of
(27:14):
more men who need it, who canvalue from their life.
And if you feel like you'reready for the next step, you're
ready to take action.
Check out the Self-DiscoveryProgram.
I'm going to workshop that name.
I'm not happy with that name,but it's there.
It's $47.
As someone who's listened thewhole way through, there is a
(27:34):
15% off discount code for you.
Type in where it says codeTMTCP15 and you'll get 15% off
to that, so that'll make itcheap as chips, right, very
affordable for everyone.
But it's a great start for youto begin this journey on getting
clear on some important things.
That is going to help you buildon life's work and improve that
(27:56):
long-term thinking.
I look forward to sharing nextweek's podcast with you.
It's going to be with RyanDrake, so make sure you hang
around for Monday's episode.
Thank you, guys for being here.
Being judged will make you a better man.
This episode is going to beabout my learnings from the NFL
draft and I'm extremely pumpedabout this.
I just finished golf, so it'san epic way to start the day,
and then we're about to hit aroad trip to South Carolina, so
I've not seen Amy, my wife, fortwo weeks.
She's been back in Australia,so Liam and I have been batching
(00:21):
over here in the US and Liam'smy brother-in-law and Amy is
flying into South Carolina.
They have a festival on thisweekend, so Liam and I have an
eight-hour road trip after thisto get there.
So super pumped to get overthere and see Amy, but also very
excited to do this episodebecause I learned so much from
the NFL draft around being abetter man and the way that the
(00:45):
people are selected, they'regraded, what they're judged on
and how it can help you be abetter man and a high performing
man.
So buckle up for this one.
If you're driving, I knowyou're going to take so much out
of it and I would recommend, ifyou ask anybody yourself, to
take some notes.
I do have some punchyone-liners here so you will be
(01:06):
able to remember it, and theweekly newsletter has all of
this written down as well.
So make sure you are subscribedto the newsletter.
You can head to my website,themanthatcanprojectcom and you
can subscribe there and you canlook through the archive as well
.
If you do get some value fromthis, so let's dive into it.
So the draft was amazing.
(01:27):
Since I've been in America,I've really dived into the
sports, just to one.
I want to meet people.
I want to learn and enjoy theculture why I'm here?
Because it's so different toback home in Australia and the
draft was fascinating.
A select few had their liveschanged forever and so many
(01:47):
others went home empty-handed.
Right For context, there was257 people drafted, right, young
men drafted and there werearound 3,000 people who entered
the draft.
That's pretty wild, right?
So of those 3,000, there wereprobably thousands of others who
(02:09):
didn't even enter the draft.
They just played their collegeball and moved on to the next
phase of their life.
So it shows how there is alwaysgoing to be a hierarchy, and
that was a huge lesson for me,because we're going through this
interesting time in life whereeveryone feels like life is an
equal playing field and thetruth is it's not.
And the sooner we can acceptthat, the sooner.
(02:31):
We can then move forward tocreate a life that we want to
live.
And I know you're listening tothis podcast and you've been
supporting it for years becauseyou have similar beliefs to me.
Okay, so I want to dive intowhat it's taught me and let's
give you some context and let'sagree upon the fact that high
performing, for how I talk aboutit in this episode, means doing
(02:52):
everything to the best of yourability.
Okay, that is it.
And obviously, when you reachthe best of your ability, you
will continue to grow andcompound on that.
So it is within our control.
Unlike the results of a draft,there's so many variables, and
that's what were some of the bigkey learnings that I'm going to
dive into here.
So, as well, there's some ofyou maybe thinking what I was
(03:16):
thinking.
There's plenty of successfulmen out there who I wouldn't say
would be high performing.
Right, they've had luck ontheir side, they've had politics
on their side, but we can'tcontrol that, so we don't focus
on it.
Remember, the definition ofhigh performing is to the best
of their ability.
It brings that quote to mindhard work beats talent when
(03:40):
talent doesn't work hard.
That works for the draft and inlife, and I want you to think
about that.
I want that to just sink in fora moment.
There's been so many things inmy life that I have worked
towards.
Where I haven't been the mosttalented and I would say that
with rugby I was not verytalented at all, but I had a
(04:05):
desire to want to do well.
I believed it would make mesuccessful.
I believed it would help mestop being bullied.
So I worked hard and I beat alot of the talented people
because they weren't working ashard, and I'm sure you have
moments in your life where youcan think about that, or there's
things that you want in yourlife that you really want that.
(04:26):
If you just adopted the mindsetof how do I work hard, meaning,
how do I perform to the best ofmy ability and continue to grow
in these areas, what are theone percenters that my
competition aren't doing?
That I could build upon and getbetter results.
They're the things that youneed to be thinking, and I
tweeted this out.
(04:47):
Nfl scouts are observing players, so all year they have their
region and they'll fly aroundand they'll start making notes
on players.
They'll look at their skill,they'll look at their medical
history, they'll look at howthey communicate, they'll check
out their attitude.
They'll check out their speed,power, explosiveness, their work
ethic and how they fit into ateam.
(05:07):
So there's so many things thatthey look at, but essentially
they're being judged.
People hate to be judged.
We fear judged and we almostthink it's wrong.
It is so important to judge fromthe right perspective.
People get upset when we judgeothers, but it's important for
(05:29):
obvious reasons, as you're maybestarting to realize.
Whether it's picking your lifepartner, whether it's picking
your career, whether it'spicking the hobbies that you
want to have, you need to makejudgment, because some people do
things that you won't agreewith, and if you chose not to
(05:51):
judge and hang out with them,then you're probably going to
start doing things that youdon't agree with.
So it doesn't always matter howor whether you're the most
talented.
You need to be able to addvalue to the entire organization
and give it the best chance ofwinning the Super Bowl, and
that's in the draft context.
So the players are aware ofthis, the staff member are aware
(06:15):
of this and the fans are sureas shit aware of this.
We went to the draft party downhere at Nissan Stadium and the
Tennessee Titans which I'mliving in Tennessee were pick
seven, and you saw all the firstsix people get picked and who
the Titans picked, and I can'tremember off the top of my head
(06:36):
who it was.
But the fans the loyal fans whowere at the stadium where we
were, were not impressed with it.
Everyone was like no, that'snot what we need.
And so you will always bejudged.
But what some people don'tthink about is what is best for
the organization, or what isbest for the relationship, or
(06:56):
what is best for you.
And this is where judgmentbecomes very powerful, right.
And those who really want to, Iguess, move into a certain area
, they are aware that they arebeing judged.
Right.
I knew that when I met Amy, shewas going to judge me.
(07:18):
Is this a man that I wouldspend the rest of my life with?
At the time she saw somethingin me, but I didn't see that in
myself.
But because I knew that thejudgment was there and I had to
be better in order for ourrelationship to last and to, I
guess, be life partners, Iwasn't going to leave it up to
(07:39):
chance.
I judged myself.
I thought about things that Ihad control over, right, things
like my attitude, my work ethic,my physical appearance, my
personal standards, how Icommunicated, the skills that I
had, my relationships that Ikept, the company that I kept.
I had control over all of that,and you do as well.
(08:04):
So when you're thinking about,if people judge you on those
specific things, what is thehighest performing version of
yourself showing up as their?
What's your attitude, what'syour physical appearance like?
So start thinking about that.
You may not like it that you'rejudged on that, but welcome to
the real fucking world.
(08:25):
People want to be around peoplethat are inspiring them and are
making their life better.
So if you aren't doing that,once again, it may not be
personal, and most of the timeit's not.
It's just a redirection.
Think about this for yourself.
You have probably had a jobthat you just didn't like.
(08:47):
You may have judged this howthe manager ran the operation.
You may have judged how youwere spoken to.
You may have judged thestandards that they had, but you
either agreed with them or youdisagreed.
And that's you judging basedoff what you expect, okay, based
(09:07):
on where you want to fit in.
And so if it's okay for you todo that, why is it not okay for
other people to do that.
If we're just trying to live ourbest life, if we're just trying
to build our best business orhave the most loving
relationship or friendship orhave wild adventures, it's
(09:30):
important to judge that becausethat's the feedback.
And if you really care aboutyour future and this is what I
love talking about I talk aboutit so much within our academy
but you'll use this to youradvantage Knowing that you're
going to be judged, you canfocus on allowing for better
judgment in the areas Like whatdo you want to be, what can you
control and how are you going toshow up.
(09:52):
So I really want you to thinkabout that.
What are the things that youcan control that are going to
influence for better judgment inyour life?
And it becomes so much easierwhen you know what you want from
your life right, and whenyou're very clear on what you
want.
And this is why we talk aboutvision a lot in the
(10:13):
self-discovery program and Ithink you know creating a vision
is the most important part ofany planning.
You know, ultimately it's justthe long-term thinking when do
you want to be in five years'time?
Where do you want to be in 10years' time?
Because you can then work back.
You can then take into accountthe relationship aspects of your
(10:35):
life, the leisure andrecreation you can think about
how your health needs to be,what about your finances, and
when you have a plan to do that,an idea of what that looks like
, you can start setting goalsand creating a plan which allows
you to do that.
So it's really fun to be ableto work back, and Jim Rohn has
(10:57):
an awesome quote If you don'tdesign your own life plan,
chances are you'll fall intosomeone else's plan and guess
what they've got planned for you?
Not much, unfortunately.
Most people spend most of theirtime complaining about this.
We don't like it, and I feelpersonally that that comes from
(11:21):
the fact or even the sense ofnot being in control of our life
, when, ultimately, all of ushave control over our life.
Everyone's situation isdifferent and unique, and you
may have more dependence andvariables that make it more
challenging.
However, up until that point,all the decisions have been off
the back of you, and so it canbe very uncomfortable to
(11:45):
recognize that.
I know it was veryuncomfortable for me back in
2013 to hear or recognize thateverything that I've gotten to
this point is because of me.
I didn't like what I had atthat point in my life.
I was broke, I had terriblerelationships and I wasn't happy
with myself, and that wasbecause of me.
(12:06):
The best thing that happenedfrom that was once I said okay,
if that's because of me, it alsomeans that I can get myself out
of here by doing thingsdifferently.
I believe we all have uniqueinterests, right, we have
(12:27):
different likes, we havedifferent dislikes.
We have different desiredoutcomes, ideas of success,
beliefs, people that we want tospend our time with, and because
of this, it would be safe toassume that people would have
opposing views to us, meaningyou could butt heads with people
, you could disagree with people, but it's how you choose to
(12:49):
respond or react that mattersmost.
How do you show up in thoseareas?
I'm interested in endurancesports, I love exploring the
outdoors and I hate going bloodyshopping, whether it's for
groceries or just clothes, I'mjust not a fan.
Find me on Amazon, buy it,deliver it to the house.
That's what I like and that'sokay that I have those likes and
(13:12):
dislikes, just like it's okaythat you have your unique likes
and dislikes and interests anddesires.
That's what makes you unique.
So stop taking it personallywhen someone is different or
they don't accept you for youand move on, because it is just
a redirection, that's all it is.
(13:34):
It doesn't need to be anythingmore personal than that.
So many of us really get stuckin life because we're like, oh,
you know, something's wrong withme and I feel you, man, I was
like that for ages.
I felt for years that I didn'tfit in.
But the problem was I wastrying to fit in.
I was not being my authenticself, and the difference in that
(13:58):
is when people are trying tofit in, you know, you might be
trying to fit into a specificcrowd or role or relationship.
It means you're not beingauthentic, you're shying away
from parts of yourself.
You know.
Let's say, for example, someonein here has listened to this and
they go.
I want to hang out with Lockie,I really like what he talks
(14:19):
about and you hate endurancesports.
You might not like that, butyou go.
I'm going to pretend to likeendurance sports because I want
to fit in with that crowd.
Now, two things could happenfrom that.
One, you may end up lovingendurance sports and we could
become best buddies awesome.
Or secondly, you just go.
Man, this is not a fulfillingrelationship.
(14:39):
I don't like going andexploring the outdoors, I don't
like always doing the endurancesports stuff, and that is
completely okay too.
What you can learn from that ishey, that's not one of your
interests.
What are you interested in andwhere are those people hanging
out?
And I've got to tie this backinto, obviously, the football.
(15:01):
I've gone off on a bit of atangent, but this is really.
We'll tie this back in.
So for me personally, after Iwas faced with the harsh truth
and a few significant failuresin my life, I knew that I needed
improvement if I wanted abetter life.
You may be in that positionright now.
It was hard to face the music,to hear that I had treated
(15:23):
people poorly, I was a liar andI never followed through on
things.
I always changed whenever itgot hard.
And I had two choices I couldkeep blaming everyone else or I
could get better.
And I was at the point in mylife where I was ready to get
better.
And I'm asking you thisquestion Are you ready to get
better?
And I'm asking you thisquestion are you ready to get
(15:44):
better?
I set the goal to make a milliondollars and I started doing
what I needed to do to achievethat.
It highlighted areas that Iguess needed the most
improvement so I could achievethe goal.
I had to learn sales right.
I had to learn to sell myself,to sell people into my vision.
That's hard.
I had to read books, listen topodcasts, make cold calls, but
(16:06):
that was part of learning.
I had to learn marketing how toinspire people to create change
.
It's the reason why some of youmay have come to the podcast,
and it's probably one of theskills that I need the most help
with, if I'm being honest, oneof the skills that I need the
most help with, if I'm beinghonest.
I had to improve mycommunication.
It's why I started a podcast tolearn to share my ideas, to be
(16:35):
challenged, to learn aboutpeople, ask better questions,
and I had to finally learnemotional regulation.
I felt threatened all the time,I was insecure and I was
jealous and I didn't like seeingother people succeed when I was
such a failure.
So I had to learn to regulatemy emotions.
So as they rose up, I had tosee them for what they were and
I said look, emotions are normal.
It's okay to feel sad, it'sokay to be jealous, it's okay to
(16:57):
be pissed off, but how wouldthe highest performing version
of myself respond?
And the NFL players have tolearn these things as well,
because if you're signing an NFLcontract, you're selling
yourself to a team, you'remarketing your values and, I
guess, your morals and yourethics.
You're communicating.
You have to fit in well with anew team.
(17:18):
You have to fit in with thefans and communicate who you are
as an individual and theemotional regulation of in and
out.
Each week.
It's like you go from being astud at college, right A starter
, and then you may not startdirectly in the NFL and that can
be hard to deal with becauseyou go from being at the top to
being at the bottom of thepecking order, regardless of
(17:40):
when you get taken in the draft.
Okay, so I had to learn a lotmore skills apart from that.
That was just the examples thatI'd written down here, but
nothing came easy to me.
I had this belief that I wasn'tsmart, I didn't excel at school
and I really struggled to learn.
But over time, as I startedlearning things that interest me
(18:02):
and I could see how they wereapplied in my life, that belief
shifted.
I was like man, I'm actuallyquite intelligent.
When I'm interested insomething.
It becomes so much easier tolearn when you're interested in
something.
So find the things that you'reinterested in, try and make
sense of how they can fit intoyour life or how they can be
(18:24):
applied, and it becomes fun.
I feared making wrong decisions, as I'm sure you have as well.
I want to give you an example,and an example that I wrote down
here.
So David, 42, leads a departmentat a tech company and he has
two young children.
(18:44):
He fears that his demanding job, which often requires late
nights and weekends, will makehim miss irreplaceable moments
in his children's lives, such asschool plays and sport matches.
This fear is intensified bymemories of his own father's
frequent absence due to work.
So he's sitting here and he'storn between the role as a
(19:08):
provider and his desire to be apresent parent.
There are only two options.
Option one he could exploreflexible work arrangements with
his employer, such as workingfrom home on certain days or
delegating tasks to team members, allowing him to attend
important family events withoutcompromising his professional
(19:31):
responsibilities.
Two he does nothing and buildsresentment towards his career.
How would you respond?
One's proactive, one's reactive?
His career how would yourespond?
One's proactive, one's reactive?
So let's say you commit tolearning and growing as a man.
What happens if, like the 2,750or 2,750 other draft applicants
(19:59):
, you didn't get selected by ateam right, you didn't get
selected in your dream job, youdidn't get selected by your
dream chick?
What do you do?
How do you respond?
This is the reality that morepeople are faced with, so you
better be ready for it.
It's going to happen at somepoint.
(20:20):
Think about Dwayne the RockJohnson, for example.
Right, I'm just going to brushover this story really quickly,
but he spent much of his youngeryears with the desire to play
in the NFL, only to fail at thefinal hurdle.
He didn't give up on life,though.
He pivoted.
He used the things that he'dlearned while trying to go pro
to allow him to be a highperformer, one as a wrestler and
(20:43):
now as an actor.
He's seriously one of the mostrecognizable people on the
planet planet.
So if you focus on who you'rebecoming, these skills become
transferable.
There is no wasted time, so Iwant to share the three things
that I learned from the draft.
I know it took a little whileto get here, but that are going
(21:04):
to help me with life and shiftperspective, and I wanted to
share that with you, number one.
Everyone has a different numberone.
You know how people say likeyou're my number one to their
partner, or or that's my numberone job that I want, or I want
to be the number one runner, orwhatever it may be.
The thing is, scouts are notonly looking for the best
(21:25):
players, right, but they wantplayers who are going to fill
the holes in the team.
So no team is the same.
Some have stronger offenses,others have stronger defenses,
but the goal is to build uponthe weakling to give them the
best shot of winning the SuperBowl.
So if we viewed life like this,I feel less people would get
(21:47):
offended, because not everythingis personal.
Businesses are just trying toget the right people for their
culture and for the growth thatthey're looking for.
People who are dating arelooking for the right life
partner.
It's not personal, it's justeveryone has different needs.
So you may want something, butthe timing may not be right, or
(22:08):
you just may not be what thatsomeone or that something is
looking for.
So do you give up on life or doyou pivot?
The key is being your numberone, knowing your worth, so that
you don't settle and you don'ttake it personally.
The whole reason why thisself-discovery course is
(22:29):
available?
Because it helps you becomeyour number one.
It helps you discover moreabout who you are, what you want
from life, where you fit in,what your worth is, so that
moments like this don't impactyou.
Like some of these people fromthe draft both those who got
selected and both those whodidn't get selected will have a
great sense of self.
(22:50):
They will not be defined bywhere they were picked or
whether they weren't picked, andothers, regardless of whether
they were picked or they weren't, it will define them for the
rest of their life.
Number two high performers focuson every detail.
Details matter.
This year's first draft pick,caleb Williams, had the goal to
(23:13):
be the number one draft picksince he was 12 years old.
At 12 years old, I'm 33.
Now.
That's 21 years ago.
Obviously, he's not 33, butthat's like me having that goal
21 years ago.
He has said how he was focusedon achieving that every day
since he was 12.
The moment one game finished orone season finished, he started
(23:35):
preparing for the next, and whenyou have a vision of where you
want your life to be, you knowthat long-term thinking.
When you finish and achieve onegoal, you're on to the next,
because you're building, brickby brick towards the life that
you want and you're becoming adifferent person along the way.
You're, I guess, adopting moreresponsibilities on the way,
(23:56):
whether it's staff members,whether it's children, whether
it's a mortgage right, you'readopting those things, but
you're becoming the person youneed to be to handle that right.
Those high performancestandards have made Caleb
Williams $38 million richer.
That's what he got paid forthis draft pick.
Pretty juicy.
We can use this for life.
(24:17):
So when one training sessionfinishes, one date night
finishes, or one day at work isfinished, start preparing for
the next.
That's how you can get ahead ofmost people.
How can you make it better?
What did you enjoy about yourlast experience?
It doesn't take too much time,but it will amplify your results
.
How can you make it better?
What did you enjoy about yourlast experience?
It doesn't take too much time,but it will amplify your results
(24:41):
.
Third, the skills and standardsare transferable.
You don't get drafted.
So now what?
Some players let it definetheir life.
As I was just saying, the truehigh performers know that it's
just a redirection.
They aren't defined by football.
It was a goal, it was a seasonof life.
Some will continue to pursue itthrough other routes, like the
(25:02):
NFL they will and others willjust move on to that next season
.
They'll move into it happily,so what they learned from being
in the elite environment willserve them in the next step.
Your standards are theexpectations and criteria that
you set for yourself in behaviorand in achievement.
Standards are extremelyimportant and it's something
(25:23):
that's getting added into theself-discovery program, because
I've really been thinking aboutwhy my results are different to
people and I guess the standardsthat I set for my clients and
it's something that a lot ofpeople don't think about.
So things like how you dealwith pressure, overcoming
adversity, working in a teamthey're all extremely valuable
skill, hugely valuable skills,actually, even personal branding
(25:47):
in today's world.
This is a huge reason why youshouldn't hold yourself back.
You're just getting started.
Results aren't guaranteed, butaccumulating those high
performance habits, the skills,the mindset and the network
often pay off in the long run.
So my idea is this Regardlessof what you want to achieve in
(26:08):
your life, you got to have alife's vision.
As I was saying, this helps youset goals, helps you develop
your personal standards rightand gives you purpose, and it is
what we teach in theself-discovery program.
This allows you to get up everyday with the goal to be 1%
better right, very achievablebeing 1% better.
Your results aren't guaranteed.
(26:28):
There are way too manyvariables in life.
I know you will become anincredible man if you focus on
building these high-performancehabits.
It doesn't need to becomplicated, it just needs to be
consistent.
Life is tough.
You're going to be judged andyou need to focus on the
judgment that's going to makeyou better, right?
So choose people whose judgmentmatters, whose, I guess, the
(26:51):
weight of what they tell you orwhat they say to you matters,
because there's a lot of people,right, they say opinions are
like assholes Everyone's got one.
So if that's the case, selectimportant people in your life
who you value their judgment.
So thank you, guys for tuningin this week.
If you got value from this,please share this on your
socials.
Every time you share it, ithelps me get this in front of
(27:14):
more men who need it, who canvalue from their life.
And if you feel like you'reready for the next step, you're
ready to take action.
Check out the Self-DiscoveryProgram.
I'm going to workshop that name.
I'm not happy with that name,but it's there.
It's $47.
As someone who's listened thewhole way through, there is a
(27:34):
15% off discount code for you.
Type in where it says codeTMTCP15 and you'll get 15% off
to that, so that'll make itcheap as chips, right, very
affordable for everyone.
But it's a great start for youto begin this journey on getting
clear on some important things.
That is going to help you buildon life's work and improve that
(27:56):
long-term thinking.
I look forward to sharing nextweek's podcast with you.
It's going to be with RyanDrake, so make sure you hang
around for Monday's episode.
Thank you, guys for being here.
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