March 21, 2024 • 15 mins
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M'Blog & Website: https://moststephinately.godaddysites.com/
Feel a tad jittery at the thought of schmoozing at social shindigs? Fear not, because I, Steph, am here to guide you through transforming those butterflies into your very own social superpowers. In a world where being a social butterfly seems like the norm, those of us with a dash of social anxiety can sometimes feel like we're flapping our wings in the wrong direction. But with our mantra, "I approach social situations with calm and confidence," clutched firmly in our mojo arsenal, we're turning the tides on those nerve-wracking mixers. This isn't your average pep talk; it's a full-on strategy session with grounding exercises, conversation hacks, and a whole lot of real talk to help you shine in any crowd.
Prepare to be the life of every party—or at least enjoy them without a silent scream—in our latest episode where we tackle the art of navigating social settings with grace. We're swapping out awkward silences for active listening techniques that'll have you forging genuine connections faster than you can say, "Mojo." And because we're all about keeping it real, I'll also share my own battle with post-pandemic social anxiety, making this a personal journey we'll navigate together. No guests this time, just you and me, working our way to becoming the most authentic, assertive versions of ourselves. So come on over, let's amp up that confidence and make every room you enter a little more fabulous.
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Daily Mojo: https://www.instagram.com/most_stephinately/
Mojo Website: https://moststephinately.godaddysites.com/
Music from #Uppbeat
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Welcome to your new favorite podcast, pocket Full of
Mojo, where you're you and I'mSteph, and we tune in here to
tap into some mojo.
You see, I think I've crackedthe code to being happy.
I'm happy like every single day, and maybe not every day, all
day, but most days and most ofthe days.
(00:35):
So I've built up this tool shedfull of amazing stuff to help
me out of and avoid getting intolife sticky and stressful
situations, and I'm not here togatekeep.
So, my friend, settle in, takesome notes and welcome to where
your mojo meets the road.
Each and every episode you hearis made with love and good
(01:02):
intention and I'm here to sharewith you some delicious nuggets
of inspiration and insights,with some wit and wisdom, to
help you stay connected to yourvery best mojo.
In today's episode, I'm goingto review our mantra for the
week and then we're going to diginto today's main topic
(01:23):
navigating social situationslike a mouse.
I know you've got 11 billionpods to choose from, so I'm
super stoked with gratitude thatyou're here.
So I need you to stick aroundand I'll make sure that you're
glad that you did Just getstarted with today's mantra and
(01:44):
get tuned in, tapped in andturned on.
Hello and welcome to the ninthepisode of Pocketful of Mojo.
Once again, I'm Steph and I'myour hostess, and mojo maven and
super jazzed.
(02:04):
You're here like jazz hands,excited and everything.
This is going to be a funepisode, so let's get right into
it.
Let's start by digging intotoday's mantra.
Today's mantra is I approachsocial situations with calm and
confidence.
Ooh, this is a good one.
(02:27):
Now I'd like to think that I'ma pretty social creature.
I'm one of those likeextroverted introverts, but I
really had to do some deep workafter the pandemic, where I
discovered that I had made thisnew friend and it was called
social anxiety and it wasn'tcute and I didn't recognize
(02:47):
myself with all this fear andinsecurity and it can creep up
on you, and so this is reallysuper good work, and it's with
experience that I can tell youthat you can really go to bat
for yourself with theseexercises.
So let's dig into it Now.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence.
(03:11):
Mmm, calmness, it really allowsus to stay grounded and present
and, in the moment, it helps usstay out of our head thinking
about what's gone wrong beforeor what could go wrong in the
future, or and you know whatthose two things have in common.
Neither one of them exist rightLike it's all about that now,
(03:35):
and that's where a calm is found.
So confidence really helps usto project authenticity and
assertiveness, and it's notcocky or brash, but really
visualizing ourselvesapproaching social situations
with calm and confidence right.
It gets us in that feelingplace and it can really help us
(03:57):
build that positive mentalframework.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence, and it
could be something as simple asdoing some deep breathing
exercises before we enter thearena, you know, and that can
help give us a sense of calmnessbefore entering a social
setting.
And it's not silly, it's simplyacknowledging that your nervous
(04:21):
system may be having a weelittle crisis and taking the
wheel and reminding yourselfthat everything's going to be
okay.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence.
Reminding ourselves of pastsuccesses in social situations
(04:41):
can absolutely boost ourconfidence.
Going over the best time we'vehad recently reminds us that we
are able and capable of having agood time on our terms.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence.
Setting realistic expectationsfor when you're out and about
(05:02):
can take some of the pressureoff and ease up on the anxiety.
Take yourself a goal to stickaround for at least an hour and
give yourself time to work pastand through the fear and get
into a groove, and if it's notjiving, you can go.
But if you're feeling good andlike you want to keep going, you
get permission to stay.
(05:22):
Just give yourself that chance.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence.
When we practice activelistening, it can actually help
us participate more confidentlyin conversations with other
people.
Getting out of our head andinto the conversation lets us
(05:42):
really meet people where they'reat, and it gets us off of
autopilot and into realconnection.
Giving ourselves some grace andbeing kind to ourselves if
things don't go perfectly cancontribute to a more relaxed
approach.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence.
(06:06):
So today I'm thrilled becausewe're going to be deep diving
into today's topic, which isnavigating social situations
with grace and authenticity.
Now I've got to share that.
This topic in particular camefrom a thought that came to me
after several, many moments ofscrolling and I gleaned a trend
that was somewhat interesting tome.
(06:26):
Maybe you've noticed it too,but on social media I've noticed
a real trend where we'renormalizing antisocial behavior.
So stay with me.
Have you also noticed a trendwhere it's like promoting
t-shirts that say sorry, I'mlate, I didn't want to come, or
means that show a happy facethat says this is me when you
(06:47):
cancel our plans, and so on,like where does this come from
and when did we stop wanting tohang out with each other?
Now this is a deeper topic thathas a lot to unpack, and we
won't go all the way down thisrabbit hole in particular.
But I wanted to plant that seedand invite you to reflect on
you and your social stance,because, while I know 100% how
(07:12):
healthy and wonderful it is toenjoy spending time with
yourself, and that party cultureis not always the healthiest
option, I think there'ssomething in the middle and we
have to be able to find room inour lives where we can connect
with other people, the rightpeople, the good people.
Now, as an adult who has lived afairly nomadic life, I do know
(07:35):
how hard it is to make friendsor connect with new people and
assemble one's tribe, so tospeak.
But I'm here to tell you thatnot only is it possible, it is
extremely rewarding and can bereally fun in the process.
Don't get me wrong.
I fully disclaim that theprocess is both terrifying and
(07:56):
daunting, but we are tougherthan that and we have everything
that we need to push past thoselimiting beliefs, because on
the other side is surpriseconnections that will exceed
your expectations, and there arewonderful humans out there just
dying to meet you.
So I'm glad you're here.
This could be the open doorthat you need to reconsider your
(08:18):
relationship with socializingand prepare you to meet your new
bestie.
The truth is is that when itcomes to social situations, it
can sometimes feel like a bit ofa labyrinth, especially for us
people pleasers.
We yearn for connection andacceptance, but sometimes we
find ourselves caught in thisweb, and that's where we find
(08:41):
anxiety and self-doubt.
So instead we try to outsmartthe game when we stay in our
cozy sweats and we binge ourfavorite TV show, possibly for
the second or third time, but,as it turns out, I've done the
research and Meredith Gray isnot going to be there for me
when I need someone to talk overa pint of ice cream.
(09:02):
So it's important to have realand human friends.
I know Radical thought, so fearnot, my dear listeners, because
today we're going to unpacksome of the traps that people
pleasers often find in socialsettings, and we're going to get
you equipped with the toolsthat you need to navigate them,
like the absolute rock starsthat you are.
(09:25):
Let's start by shining a lighton things that hold us back from
showing up as our amazing andauthentic selves.
When it comes to socialsituations, one of the biggest
traps that we fall into is thefear of judgment.
Now, for some reason and you'renot alone we worry incessantly
about what others think of us.
(09:45):
So what do we do?
We put on masks and we makeourselves small, and we hide our
true selves behind layers ofnot-so-pretty perfectionism and
people pleasing tendencies.
But here's the tea, dearfriends the only opinion that
truly matters is the one that wehave of ourselves, and the one
(10:05):
that we have of ourselves is thecue that the world takes when
it comes to how they treat us.
It's the first opinion and thelast opinion that's worth a damn
your own.
So let's make a pact right here, right now, to release
ourselves from the ugly shacklesof judgment.
They are so last season,because, when it comes to the
(10:28):
judgment of others, what do theyknow anyway?
And we need to start reallyfocusing on how amazing we are
and how we want to show up inthe world, because that is in
our control.
Another common trap for uspeople pleasers is the tendency
to put others needs above ourown.
We're so focused on makingeveryone else happy that we
(10:50):
forget to check in withourselves.
We say yes when we know weagree to things that don't align
with our values or support ouragenda, and we end up feeling
drained and resentful.
But guess what?
It's time to flip that script.
It's time to start prioritizingour own needs and desires
(11:11):
unapologetically.
Remember, you can't pour froman empty cup, so we're here to
fill our cups to the brim withsome self-love and mojo.
Now let's get into somepractical strategies for
navigating social situationswith confidence and authenticity
.
First up, set boundaries like aboss, know your limits and
(11:37):
communicate them.
You can do it clearly andassertively, and you don't have
to be mean, whether it's sayingno to that extra commitment or
speaking up when someone crossesthe line.
Honor your boundaries and watchhow it empowers you to show up
as the badass that you are.
The next key is to practice theart of active listening.
(11:58):
Instead of worrying about whatyou're gonna say next or how
you're being perceived, trygetting out of your head for a
second Focus on reallyconnecting with the person
that's right in front of you,listen with empathy, ask
thoughtful questions and letyour genuine curiosity shine
through.
Trust me, genuine connectionsare built in the moments when we
(12:20):
show up fully and present andengaged, and you're not just
waiting for your turn to talk.
When you're you, you're sendingthe message that they can be
themselves.
You're actively participatingin creating space and working
with energy that feels both realand easy, because that's what
you're born with.
Playing the role of anyoneother than yourself takes energy
(12:46):
and effort, and being yourselfpulls on none of those strings.
When you're you, it'seffortless and amazing and
probably very, very gorgeous,and there's nothing to keep
track of or plan for or just.
You can just be you.
And this, my friends, is thepower of authenticity.
(13:06):
Be unapologetically yourself inevery social situation,
regardless of the fear orjudgment or the fear of
rejection.
Remember, the people who aremeant to be in your life will
love and accept you for who youare quirks and all that might
even be their favorite thingabout you.
So let your light shine bright,my friends, and watch how it
(13:30):
attracts your tribe like mothsto a flame.
And there you have it, folks acomprehensive guide to
navigating social situationslike a true mojo master,
remember you're worthy, you'reenough and you deserve to show
up authentically in every areaof your life.
So go ahead, slay the day withconfidence, spread your wings
(13:53):
and let your freak flag fly.
I want to thank you so much fortuning in to today's episode of
Mojo Mastery pocket full of mojo.
If you loved what you heard, besure to subscribe, leave a
review and share it with yourfriends.
So until next time, keepshining bright and mastering
(14:17):
that mojo.
Be sure to tune in to our nextepisode, where we dig into
finding resilience in the faceof criticism, because we're what
?
Stronger than steel, more thanthat next time.
So be sure to come back nextweek to find out more in our
next episode.
So until then, stay awesome,stay mindful, stay fabulous and
(14:45):
keep shining bright.
And with that, I definitelywish you a magical day Peace,
love and mojo.
Welcome to your new favorite podcast, pocket Full of
Mojo, where you're you and I'mSteph, and we tune in here to
tap into some mojo.
You see, I think I've crackedthe code to being happy.
I'm happy like every single day, and maybe not every day, all
day, but most days and most ofthe days.
(00:35):
So I've built up this tool shedfull of amazing stuff to help
me out of and avoid getting intolife sticky and stressful
situations, and I'm not here togatekeep.
So, my friend, settle in, takesome notes and welcome to where
your mojo meets the road.
Each and every episode you hearis made with love and good
(01:02):
intention and I'm here to sharewith you some delicious nuggets
of inspiration and insights,with some wit and wisdom, to
help you stay connected to yourvery best mojo.
In today's episode, I'm goingto review our mantra for the
week and then we're going to diginto today's main topic
(01:23):
navigating social situationslike a mouse.
I know you've got 11 billionpods to choose from, so I'm
super stoked with gratitude thatyou're here.
So I need you to stick aroundand I'll make sure that you're
glad that you did Just getstarted with today's mantra and
(01:44):
get tuned in, tapped in andturned on.
Hello and welcome to the ninthepisode of Pocketful of Mojo.
Once again, I'm Steph and I'myour hostess, and mojo maven and
super jazzed.
(02:04):
You're here like jazz hands,excited and everything.
This is going to be a funepisode, so let's get right into
it.
Let's start by digging intotoday's mantra.
Today's mantra is I approachsocial situations with calm and
confidence.
Ooh, this is a good one.
(02:27):
Now I'd like to think that I'ma pretty social creature.
I'm one of those likeextroverted introverts, but I
really had to do some deep workafter the pandemic, where I
discovered that I had made thisnew friend and it was called
social anxiety and it wasn'tcute and I didn't recognize
(02:47):
myself with all this fear andinsecurity and it can creep up
on you, and so this is reallysuper good work, and it's with
experience that I can tell youthat you can really go to bat
for yourself with theseexercises.
So let's dig into it Now.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence.
(03:11):
Mmm, calmness, it really allowsus to stay grounded and present
and, in the moment, it helps usstay out of our head thinking
about what's gone wrong beforeor what could go wrong in the
future, or and you know whatthose two things have in common.
Neither one of them exist rightLike it's all about that now,
(03:35):
and that's where a calm is found.
So confidence really helps usto project authenticity and
assertiveness, and it's notcocky or brash, but really
visualizing ourselvesapproaching social situations
with calm and confidence right.
It gets us in that feelingplace and it can really help us
(03:57):
build that positive mentalframework.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence, and it
could be something as simple asdoing some deep breathing
exercises before we enter thearena, you know, and that can
help give us a sense of calmnessbefore entering a social
setting.
And it's not silly, it's simplyacknowledging that your nervous
(04:21):
system may be having a weelittle crisis and taking the
wheel and reminding yourselfthat everything's going to be
okay.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence.
Reminding ourselves of pastsuccesses in social situations
(04:41):
can absolutely boost ourconfidence.
Going over the best time we'vehad recently reminds us that we
are able and capable of having agood time on our terms.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence.
Setting realistic expectationsfor when you're out and about
(05:02):
can take some of the pressureoff and ease up on the anxiety.
Take yourself a goal to stickaround for at least an hour and
give yourself time to work pastand through the fear and get
into a groove, and if it's notjiving, you can go.
But if you're feeling good andlike you want to keep going, you
get permission to stay.
(05:22):
Just give yourself that chance.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence.
When we practice activelistening, it can actually help
us participate more confidentlyin conversations with other
people.
Getting out of our head andinto the conversation lets us
(05:42):
really meet people where they'reat, and it gets us off of
autopilot and into realconnection.
Giving ourselves some grace andbeing kind to ourselves if
things don't go perfectly cancontribute to a more relaxed
approach.
I approach social situationswith calm and confidence.
(06:06):
So today I'm thrilled becausewe're going to be deep diving
into today's topic, which isnavigating social situations
with grace and authenticity.
Now I've got to share that.
This topic in particular camefrom a thought that came to me
after several, many moments ofscrolling and I gleaned a trend
that was somewhat interesting tome.
(06:26):
Maybe you've noticed it too,but on social media I've noticed
a real trend where we'renormalizing antisocial behavior.
So stay with me.
Have you also noticed a trendwhere it's like promoting
t-shirts that say sorry, I'mlate, I didn't want to come, or
means that show a happy facethat says this is me when you
(06:47):
cancel our plans, and so on,like where does this come from
and when did we stop wanting tohang out with each other?
Now this is a deeper topic thathas a lot to unpack, and we
won't go all the way down thisrabbit hole in particular.
But I wanted to plant that seedand invite you to reflect on
you and your social stance,because, while I know 100% how
(07:12):
healthy and wonderful it is toenjoy spending time with
yourself, and that party cultureis not always the healthiest
option, I think there'ssomething in the middle and we
have to be able to find room inour lives where we can connect
with other people, the rightpeople, the good people.
Now, as an adult who has lived afairly nomadic life, I do know
(07:35):
how hard it is to make friendsor connect with new people and
assemble one's tribe, so tospeak.
But I'm here to tell you thatnot only is it possible, it is
extremely rewarding and can bereally fun in the process.
Don't get me wrong.
I fully disclaim that theprocess is both terrifying and
(07:56):
daunting, but we are tougherthan that and we have everything
that we need to push past thoselimiting beliefs, because on
the other side is surpriseconnections that will exceed
your expectations, and there arewonderful humans out there just
dying to meet you.
So I'm glad you're here.
This could be the open doorthat you need to reconsider your
(08:18):
relationship with socializingand prepare you to meet your new
bestie.
The truth is is that when itcomes to social situations, it
can sometimes feel like a bit ofa labyrinth, especially for us
people pleasers.
We yearn for connection andacceptance, but sometimes we
find ourselves caught in thisweb, and that's where we find
(08:41):
anxiety and self-doubt.
So instead we try to outsmartthe game when we stay in our
cozy sweats and we binge ourfavorite TV show, possibly for
the second or third time, but,as it turns out, I've done the
research and Meredith Gray isnot going to be there for me
when I need someone to talk overa pint of ice cream.
(09:02):
So it's important to have realand human friends.
I know Radical thought, so fearnot, my dear listeners, because
today we're going to unpacksome of the traps that people
pleasers often find in socialsettings, and we're going to get
you equipped with the toolsthat you need to navigate them,
like the absolute rock starsthat you are.
(09:25):
Let's start by shining a lighton things that hold us back from
showing up as our amazing andauthentic selves.
When it comes to socialsituations, one of the biggest
traps that we fall into is thefear of judgment.
Now, for some reason and you'renot alone we worry incessantly
about what others think of us.
(09:45):
So what do we do?
We put on masks and we makeourselves small, and we hide our
true selves behind layers ofnot-so-pretty perfectionism and
people pleasing tendencies.
But here's the tea, dearfriends the only opinion that
truly matters is the one that wehave of ourselves, and the one
(10:05):
that we have of ourselves is thecue that the world takes when
it comes to how they treat us.
It's the first opinion and thelast opinion that's worth a damn
your own.
So let's make a pact right here, right now, to release
ourselves from the ugly shacklesof judgment.
They are so last season,because, when it comes to the
(10:28):
judgment of others, what do theyknow anyway?
And we need to start reallyfocusing on how amazing we are
and how we want to show up inthe world, because that is in
our control.
Another common trap for uspeople pleasers is the tendency
to put others needs above ourown.
We're so focused on makingeveryone else happy that we
(10:50):
forget to check in withourselves.
We say yes when we know weagree to things that don't align
with our values or support ouragenda, and we end up feeling
drained and resentful.
But guess what?
It's time to flip that script.
It's time to start prioritizingour own needs and desires
(11:11):
unapologetically.
Remember, you can't pour froman empty cup, so we're here to
fill our cups to the brim withsome self-love and mojo.
Now let's get into somepractical strategies for
navigating social situationswith confidence and authenticity
.
First up, set boundaries like aboss, know your limits and
(11:37):
communicate them.
You can do it clearly andassertively, and you don't have
to be mean, whether it's sayingno to that extra commitment or
speaking up when someone crossesthe line.
Honor your boundaries and watchhow it empowers you to show up
as the badass that you are.
The next key is to practice theart of active listening.
(11:58):
Instead of worrying about whatyou're gonna say next or how
you're being perceived, trygetting out of your head for a
second Focus on reallyconnecting with the person
that's right in front of you,listen with empathy, ask
thoughtful questions and letyour genuine curiosity shine
through.
Trust me, genuine connectionsare built in the moments when we
(12:20):
show up fully and present andengaged, and you're not just
waiting for your turn to talk.
When you're you, you're sendingthe message that they can be
themselves.
You're actively participatingin creating space and working
with energy that feels both realand easy, because that's what
you're born with.
Playing the role of anyoneother than yourself takes energy
(12:46):
and effort, and being yourselfpulls on none of those strings.
When you're you, it'seffortless and amazing and
probably very, very gorgeous,and there's nothing to keep
track of or plan for or just.
You can just be you.
And this, my friends, is thepower of authenticity.
(13:06):
Be unapologetically yourself inevery social situation,
regardless of the fear orjudgment or the fear of
rejection.
Remember, the people who aremeant to be in your life will
love and accept you for who youare quirks and all that might
even be their favorite thingabout you.
So let your light shine bright,my friends, and watch how it
(13:30):
attracts your tribe like mothsto a flame.
And there you have it, folks acomprehensive guide to
navigating social situationslike a true mojo master,
remember you're worthy, you'reenough and you deserve to show
up authentically in every areaof your life.
So go ahead, slay the day withconfidence, spread your wings
(13:53):
and let your freak flag fly.
I want to thank you so much fortuning in to today's episode of
Mojo Mastery pocket full of mojo.
If you loved what you heard, besure to subscribe, leave a
review and share it with yourfriends.
So until next time, keepshining bright and mastering
(14:17):
that mojo.
Be sure to tune in to our nextepisode, where we dig into
finding resilience in the faceof criticism, because we're what
?
Stronger than steel, more thanthat next time.
So be sure to come back nextweek to find out more in our
next episode.
So until then, stay awesome,stay mindful, stay fabulous and
(14:45):
keep shining bright.
And with that, I definitelywish you a magical day Peace,
love and mojo.
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