February 29, 2024 • 23 mins
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As someone who once juggled the demands of pleasing everyone but myself, I've discovered the liberating power of mindfulness to craft a life of fulfillment and tranquility. Embark with me on a profound exploration of how adopting a daily mantra, "I practice mindfulness to fill my mind with peace and calm," can profoundly shift your perspective on life's cacophony. Throughout our latest episode, we unravel the complexities of living in the present, wielding mindfulness as a shield against the onslaught of stress and anxiety. We confront the demanding role of the people-pleaser and share stories of how mindfulness has restored our energy and allowed us to tend to our personal well-being, promising a life that's both fruitful and invigorating.
The dance between staying present and getting lost in mindlessness is a delicate one, and I recount vivid tales from my own experiences that illustrate this intricate waltz. From the bustling streets of Montreal to the tranquility of a neighbor's wise advice on enjoying life's simple pleasures, these stories highlight the journey toward a balanced life. We discuss the courage it takes to set boundaries, the art of saying no with grace, and the transformative impact of aligning our actions with our genuine needs. As we close, I leave you with a hint of what's to come—turning the sting of rejection into a pathway for redirection. Join us as we seek daily enchantment, cultivating peace, love, and your very own mojo.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to your new favorite podcast, pocket Full
Emojo, where you're you and I'mSteph, and we tune in here to
tap into some mojo.
You see, I think I've crackedthe code to being happy.
I'm happy every single day andI'm not even kidding.
(00:27):
Maybe not all day, every day,but I've built a tool shed full
of amazing stuff that help meout of and avoid getting into
life sticky and stressfulsituations, and I'm not here to
gatekeep.
So settle in, take some notesand welcome to where your mojo
hits the road.
Each and every episode you hearis made with love and good
(00:51):
intention to share with you someof the delicious nuggets of
inspiration and insights, withsome wit and wisdom, to help you
stay connected to your verybest mojo.
In today's episode, we're goingto go through today's mantra as
well as look at a little thingcalled mindfulness and how it
creeps into our everyday life.
(01:11):
So I know you've got agazillion pods to choose from.
So my heart bursts withgratitude that you're even here.
So you stick around and I'llmake sure you glad you did.
Let's get started with today'smantra and get tuned in, tapped
in and turned on.
Hello and welcome to the sixthepisode of Pocket Full of Mojo,
(01:40):
I'm Steph, I'm your hostess andmojo maven, and I'm so glad
you're here.
Did you do something with yourhair?
You're looking mighty finetoday.
Go on, check yourself out.
You've got that mojo going on,am I right?
Let's start by digging intotoday's mantra.
So today's mantra is I practicemindfulness to fill my mind
(02:03):
with peace and calm.
To fill my mind, that is, todisplace any other thoughts than
those that bring me peace andcalm.
This is an act of deliberateintention and with the
motivation behind it to tap intoa space where your mind and
body can really feel peace andcalm.
(02:23):
That is the point of thismantra I practice mindfulness to
fill my mind with peace andcalm.
Focusing on peace and calm isimportant.
Remember how words have power.
So this is why we say themantra the way that we do, as
opposed to saying I fight stressand anxiety with mindfulness,
(02:46):
because then that dominantthought is stress and anxiety
and we know that the brain doeswhat we tell it to do.
So keeping our focus on thedesired end result will really
help catapult you towardsfeelings of well, calm and peace
.
I practice mindfulness to fillmy mind with peace and calm.
(03:08):
Practice, practice, practice.
This is a really important one.
This doesn't mean that we holdourselves to the impossible
standards of being in the stateat all times, but rather to call
upon this mantra to get us backto our desired state of peace
and calm.
When the waters get choppy andthey will I practice mindfulness
(03:33):
to fill my mind with peace andcalm.
Practicing mindfulness allows usto remember that the only thing
that exists is the now, andtrying to live in the past or
the future is what brings outthe stress and the anxiety that
we're trying to avoid.
So, by dropping into the nowand coming back into our bodies
(03:57):
in this moment, it creates abarrier between us and our
stressors and allows us tomindfully and actively, and
willingly and lovingly, create aspace for ourselves where peace
and calm can live.
I practice mindfulness to fillmy mind with peace and calm.
(04:19):
This simple act of self-lovewill not only keep your mojo in
check but, with time, as yourepeat this mantra throughout
your days, throughout your week,and keep it in your pocket for
when times are tough, it can actlike a get out of brain jail
free card, and it'll empower youto have peace and calm as your
(04:42):
baseline operating system, andwhen you've achieved that, you
will see your resilience improveand your daily zen always at
the ready.
The more you go to the gym, thelighter the weights become.
It's kind of like that.
I practice mindfulness to fillmy mind with peace and calm.
(05:02):
So keep this mantra close.
Maybe write it down on apost-it note at your desk, or
even on the bathroom mirror togreet you first thing in the
morning.
Wherever you may feel triggeredby stress or anxiety, have this
mantra close like a good friendto remind you of your power to
(05:23):
redirect your energy back to aplace of peace and calm.
Really define for yourself whatthat looks like, how does it
feel, and give yourself thepower to get back to that place
with ease and maybe a few deepbreaths.
You got this.
I practice mindfulness to fillmy mind with peace and calm.
(05:52):
Now, as I've been building outthis podcast, I've been picking
some fairly specific topics todig into, but today I want to
zoom out for a bit of a look ata broader concept and mental
health's hottest new buzzword,and that is mindfulness.
Now, when your instincts andhuman operating system are set
(06:13):
up to serve others, it getsharder to stay in tune with
yourself.
If you are a fellow peoplepleaser, you're in the right
place and I'm excited to sharewith you that not only is there
another side, but that I'll showyou how to get there.
But the truth is, a life livedmindfully is extremely rewarding
(06:34):
.
It's energizing, it's freeingfor everybody and anybody, not
just people pleasers.
So, without further ado, let'sdig into living mindfully and
how it can turbocharge yourgrowth.
So stick around, it's going toamaze you.
(06:55):
First up, let's expose thepeople-pleaser monster.
We're going to start byacknowledging the gentle-hearted
but thoroughly annoying andlimiting people-pleaser dwelling
within you.
And don't worry, my friend,I've got one too.
Always eager to make othershappy, you've likely discovered
the downside of this noble traitignoring your own needs and
(07:18):
desires.
Psy, psy, because here's thething if you're not paying
attention to your own needs,then who is?
So, my friend, it's time to ripoff the mask and understand why
mindfulness is your new secretweapon.
First up, I want to tell you thestory.
The headline is it's okay to bea wallflower, like picture this
(07:42):
, okay.
So I'm at my brother's placefor New Year's Eve and the
party's hoppin', and the livingroom is now a dance floor and
I'm digging the tunes, being associal as my anxiety will allow
me to be and generally having agood time and you know I'm
engaging in small talk, boo, andsaying yes to everyone's
(08:04):
requests and then saw a lovelyparty animal cross the way and
she was dragging people onto thedance floor and my gut twisted
and I really didn't want todance in front of all these
strangers and my brother's,friends and stuff.
So I just wanted to boppolitely in the doorway.
So I took a second as my fearand anxiety started to ramp up
(08:29):
and I assessed my own needs andI imagined a scenario where I
could mindfully respond withlove and authenticity but still
say no.
And there she was.
I could see her coming.
She asked and against all myinstincts, I said no thanks,
because my old instincts wereleading me to a place of people
(08:51):
pleasing.
But this time I tuned in tomyself and I actually said no
thanks and the party partied onand the world didn't end and I
didn't crumble into a millionpieces and she didn't get angry.
Really, the difference wasprofound and even as I'm saying
this, it's like, okay, wow, yousaid no big deal.
(09:13):
But if I had a dollar for everytime I've been in that same or
similar situation and said yes,despite my own needs and wants.
I'd have several, many dollarsand I'd be counting them from
Bali like for reals, but it wasthe act of being mindful of my
feelings and stepping out of mycomfort zone to honor my needs
(09:36):
that was the game changer.
And was it a big deal?
Probably not.
Was it difficult More than Icould describe?
But the small win I was able toachieve in that moment allowed
me to see that taking care ofmyself wasn't as big of a deal
as the liar in my head made itout to be, and it was convincing
(09:58):
me to say yes when I wanted tosay no.
Like I said, we always haveoptions.
You don't have to live a mindfullife, but let's break down the
dance of mindfulness versusmindlessness.
Living mindfully is being ableto be with yourself in the now.
It's kind of like a dance.
(10:18):
If you're the choreographer,you know the steps.
You're dancing to a tune youdidn't write, have never heard
yet.
Still you expect perfection.
That sounds like a tall order.
When you dance to your own tune, you're tapped into your
heartbeat and that's the mostimportant rhythm that there is.
Life is too short to bestumbling through and missing
(10:42):
the stuff that lights you up.
So let's look at the why andpave the way for all the joy
that's on its way into yourmindful life.
Here's what I'm talking about.
I had this idea of myself thatI was pretty in tune with how I
went about my day to day life,and once upon a time I lived in
(11:02):
Montreal.
Geez, this would have been likeover ten years ago now.
Anyway, I had this neighbor andshe was lovely and very into
the spiritual practice and sheknew me and knew my busy life
and saw how I approached life,trying to get as much done as
possible, and what she alsonoticed was how much I was going
(11:23):
in multiple directions at once.
So we were talking one day andshe shared with me this practice
of being present.
She said picture yourselfsavoring a cup of tea.
Mindfully.
You notice the warmth, thearoma.
Take a sip.
There's subtle flavors.
You relish every moment.
(11:43):
How does the cup feel in yourhands?
Or when you're in the shower?
Are you thinking about everysingle skin cell and how
grateful you are for everysingle part of your body?
When you're thinking about allthese micro details and
enveloping yourself with thesetruths that are right there with
you and around you, there is notime to think of the past or
(12:08):
the future.
There's only the now.
So my answer to her about thetea in the shower was simply uh,
nope, I do not do any of that.
But once I started reallythinking about it, I started
really doing those things andthen I started really savoring
every bite, feeling morenourished, feeling more clean at
(12:32):
the end of that shower, reallyjust feeling more in touch with
myself in the very best way.
In those moments there was noreal estate available in my
brain for money, troubles,relationship issues, work,
stress or other thoughts thathaunt us Now.
Does that mean that thosestressors don't exist?
(12:52):
No, not at all.
This isn't about ignoring thetough stuff.
This is about keeping ourselvesin a space of peace and calm so
that when we do tackle thetougher moments in life, we're
better equipped and coming froma better place on solid ground.
Now contrast that with gulpingdown your tea while multitasking
(13:15):
or worrying your way through ashower and not even remembering
that you were in the shower atall.
You're also missing therichness of that experience.
There's no need to shortchangeyourself.
This is not a race.
Now think about all the chancesthat lie ahead for you to make
the most of it.
So can we do these things?
(13:37):
Sure, do we do these things.
Well, that's not always easy tosay yes to, so let's unpack the
why.
Why is mindfulness challenging?
Understanding why it'schallenging to live mindfully is
a really crucial step in thisthing.
Let's break it down, unpack itand take away some of its
(14:00):
mystery.
For us people, please, are itoften roots in fear?
So fear of judgment, fear ofdisappointing others.
So at this point, the bestthing to do to uncover these
fears and free ourselves fromtheir gross and ugly grip is to
break up with them.
That's it.
We're just going to break upwith the fear.
(14:20):
Are you with me?
Let me give you an example.
This is something that happenedto me recently.
So imagine the fear of sayingno to a friend's request.
So this isn't just any friend,but this is like one of my ride
or die friends.
I've been watching her start herown business from scratch and
she is killing it.
(14:40):
The last six months have beenamazing, watching her pour her
whole self into this project.
She decided it was her dream toopen a women's clothing store
and boom, six months later,store is open.
She's doing her thing, killingit.
A few weeks ago she told methat she needs to go out of town
for a buying trip and asked meto cover the store for a couple
(15:02):
of days.
Now I've got a background inretail.
I could sell ice to an Eskimoand, all things being equal, I
would be great.
And my initial gut response isto be the people pleaser to say
yes, absolutely, how can I help?
But when I really checked mygut it was saying oh fuck,
(15:23):
because I want to say yes, as myformer operating system
encourages me to do, but feelthe pressure of doing it right.
And then I'm alone and I needto learn all these systems and
tools that she's got and I knowhow much is riding on her
success.
So for me the stakes were justtoo high.
(15:43):
So I took a beat, I checked inwith myself and the thought of
saying yes to my friend wasstill really important, but it
would cause me days of anxietyand worry and stress of wanting
to do it right.
So, with a bit of courage, ittook me about 25 minutes to
(16:04):
figure out how to say no, as Ido not have a ton of experience
doing it and I really wanna doit well.
So I said thank you for theoffer, but I'm just not
comfortable or confident that Icould do the job.
Deep breath and we're stillfriends.
That's the news.
The world didn't explode.
(16:26):
She didn't think less of me.
She completely understood.
So the point here is thatmindfulness empowers you to
recognize the fear, acknowledgeit and respond to it from a
place of self-love.
And that act is protectingyourself, avoiding taking on
known additional stress simplyby taking a beat, interrogating
(16:50):
your instincts and acting inalignment with what you truly
need.
She needed a salesperson, andwhile that's a job I could do,
the cost of that was more thanthe dollars and cents that I
would be getting for the work.
Doing this active, mindful workallows you to honor you rather
than succumbing to the anxietyof potential disappointment.
(17:11):
So let's shift into somepractical tips for building
mindfulness with grace.
Now that we've identified theobstacles, let's dive into the
uplifting part.
Finally, here come the tips andtricks to gracefully introduce
mindfulness into your life.
And remember, this is amarathon, not a sprint.
(17:32):
Patience is going to be yourloyal companion and grace is
your guide, your new besties, ifyou will.
So the first pro tip is to startsmall, start simple.
Imagine starting your day witha five minute mindfulness ritual
.
Gee, steph, that sounds alittle woo-woo.
Now, before you hit that skipbutton, I want to stop you right
(17:54):
there.
What if I told you that it wasas simple as breathing?
That's right.
A moment to breathe deeply andconnect with yourself, that's
all it is.
Now remember one of my favoritesayings Just because it's
simple doesn't mean it's easy.
So if you feel like you need aguide at first, that's super
(18:15):
cool.
Youtube has a bunch that youcan find there that have guided
meditations, guiding breathingexercises, so you can search
around, find your vibe and learnas you go.
Or just count five deep breaths.
It can be as simple as that.
Or you can take that momentwith your cup of tea or coffee
(18:35):
and simply drop into the moment,drop into the now, smell, sip,
savor the whole thing and justspend some Zen time with
yourself.
Or, like when you put yoursocks on, really feel them going
over your foot and payattention to how it feels.
When was the last time you didthat?
It seems silly, but it takeszero extra time.
(18:58):
You're just redirecting yourthoughts back to yourself and
over time, you're going to findthese moments accumulating into
a super ritual of self-love.
It will soon pile up and helpyou feel connected and grounded
and I swear you'll even feelmore calm.
It does wonders for yournervous system and allows you to
(19:21):
move through life feeling trulyin control, looking at you with
pro tip number two, showingyourself some frequent patience
and self-compassion.
Now let's get one thing straightPatience is the backbone of any
transformation, whether you'reworking out or planting a garden
.
There is nothing that you cando to rush when you're looking
(19:43):
for lasting and impactful change, especially if you're starting
from scratch.
As you get started on thismindful mission, please, please,
be gentle with yourself.
Be pleased, embraceself-compassion as your ally,
understanding that growth takestime, and that's the best news.
There's no rush, there's nopass or fail, only benefit.
(20:07):
The more you practice, the moreconnected and grounded you'll
feel.
Celebrate all the small littlevictories and let the setbacks
be stepping stones towards amore mindful and loving you.
Think of it this way Imagine agarden, brand new, fresh soil,
suns out, guns out and you'reready to get started.
(20:29):
You plant the seeds, younurture them with water and
vitamins and minerals in thesoil and you patiently wait for
them to bloom.
You don't criticize the flowersfor taking their time and you
don't run outside the day afteryou plant them at expect a full
harvest.
Similarly, this is your cue tobe patient with your own growth
(20:52):
Just click, just keep going.
So maybe a couple of days havegone by and you've noticed that
you've strayed from your mantraand you're feeling a bit
frazzled.
Well, guess what that's?
In the past, you can literallydrop into the now at any moment.
That's how it works, miss one.
God willing, there's anotherone on the way.
(21:14):
Takes a few tries to get going.
That's okay too.
Patience, grace, the middlenames of the game.
So here's to you.
Your mindful life awaits myfriend.
Congratulations for taking thisfirst step towards a more
(21:36):
mindful, self-loving life.
And as you keep going on thisadventure, remember that every
single moment is a chance forgrowth and every single step you
take is going to get you closerto the gorgeous, radiant,
amazing you.
Taking on mindfulness with openarms takes courage.
(21:57):
So I want you to pat yourselfon the back for considering a
life for yourself that includesmore peace and calm, I got to
say, dancing to the rhythm ofyour own heart beat and letting
self-love be the song thatguides you.
It suits you, babe.
So I want to thank you fortuning in today and be sure to
tune into our next episode,where we dig into a subject
(22:20):
known for being my formernemesis.
Saddle up for a deep dive intoa fear a lot of us share the
ugly beast known as rejection.
Learn how to lean intorejection and see it as
redirection.
So find out more on our nextepisode.
But until then, stay awesome,stay mindful, stay fabulous and
(22:41):
keep shining bright.
And with that I definitely wishyou a magical day Peace, love
and mojo.
Toodaloo, kangaroo, ronga.
Welcome to your new favorite podcast, pocket Full
Emojo, where you're you and I'mSteph, and we tune in here to
tap into some mojo.
You see, I think I've crackedthe code to being happy.
I'm happy every single day andI'm not even kidding.
(00:27):
Maybe not all day, every day,but I've built a tool shed full
of amazing stuff that help meout of and avoid getting into
life sticky and stressfulsituations, and I'm not here to
gatekeep.
So settle in, take some notesand welcome to where your mojo
hits the road.
Each and every episode you hearis made with love and good
(00:51):
intention to share with you someof the delicious nuggets of
inspiration and insights, withsome wit and wisdom, to help you
stay connected to your verybest mojo.
In today's episode, we're goingto go through today's mantra as
well as look at a little thingcalled mindfulness and how it
creeps into our everyday life.
(01:11):
So I know you've got agazillion pods to choose from.
So my heart bursts withgratitude that you're even here.
So you stick around and I'llmake sure you glad you did.
Let's get started with today'smantra and get tuned in, tapped
in and turned on.
Hello and welcome to the sixthepisode of Pocket Full of Mojo,
(01:40):
I'm Steph, I'm your hostess andmojo maven, and I'm so glad
you're here.
Did you do something with yourhair?
You're looking mighty finetoday.
Go on, check yourself out.
You've got that mojo going on,am I right?
Let's start by digging intotoday's mantra.
So today's mantra is I practicemindfulness to fill my mind
(02:03):
with peace and calm.
To fill my mind, that is, todisplace any other thoughts than
those that bring me peace andcalm.
This is an act of deliberateintention and with the
motivation behind it to tap intoa space where your mind and
body can really feel peace andcalm.
(02:23):
That is the point of thismantra I practice mindfulness to
fill my mind with peace andcalm.
Focusing on peace and calm isimportant.
Remember how words have power.
So this is why we say themantra the way that we do, as
opposed to saying I fight stressand anxiety with mindfulness,
(02:46):
because then that dominantthought is stress and anxiety
and we know that the brain doeswhat we tell it to do.
So keeping our focus on thedesired end result will really
help catapult you towardsfeelings of well, calm and peace
.
I practice mindfulness to fillmy mind with peace and calm.
(03:08):
Practice, practice, practice.
This is a really important one.
This doesn't mean that we holdourselves to the impossible
standards of being in the stateat all times, but rather to call
upon this mantra to get us backto our desired state of peace
and calm.
When the waters get choppy andthey will I practice mindfulness
(03:33):
to fill my mind with peace andcalm.
Practicing mindfulness allows usto remember that the only thing
that exists is the now, andtrying to live in the past or
the future is what brings outthe stress and the anxiety that
we're trying to avoid.
So, by dropping into the nowand coming back into our bodies
(03:57):
in this moment, it creates abarrier between us and our
stressors and allows us tomindfully and actively, and
willingly and lovingly, create aspace for ourselves where peace
and calm can live.
I practice mindfulness to fillmy mind with peace and calm.
(04:19):
This simple act of self-lovewill not only keep your mojo in
check but, with time, as yourepeat this mantra throughout
your days, throughout your week,and keep it in your pocket for
when times are tough, it can actlike a get out of brain jail
free card, and it'll empower youto have peace and calm as your
(04:42):
baseline operating system, andwhen you've achieved that, you
will see your resilience improveand your daily zen always at
the ready.
The more you go to the gym, thelighter the weights become.
It's kind of like that.
I practice mindfulness to fillmy mind with peace and calm.
(05:02):
So keep this mantra close.
Maybe write it down on apost-it note at your desk, or
even on the bathroom mirror togreet you first thing in the
morning.
Wherever you may feel triggeredby stress or anxiety, have this
mantra close like a good friendto remind you of your power to
(05:23):
redirect your energy back to aplace of peace and calm.
Really define for yourself whatthat looks like, how does it
feel, and give yourself thepower to get back to that place
with ease and maybe a few deepbreaths.
You got this.
I practice mindfulness to fillmy mind with peace and calm.
(05:52):
Now, as I've been building outthis podcast, I've been picking
some fairly specific topics todig into, but today I want to
zoom out for a bit of a look ata broader concept and mental
health's hottest new buzzword,and that is mindfulness.
Now, when your instincts andhuman operating system are set
(06:13):
up to serve others, it getsharder to stay in tune with
yourself.
If you are a fellow peoplepleaser, you're in the right
place and I'm excited to sharewith you that not only is there
another side, but that I'll showyou how to get there.
But the truth is, a life livedmindfully is extremely rewarding
(06:34):
.
It's energizing, it's freeingfor everybody and anybody, not
just people pleasers.
So, without further ado, let'sdig into living mindfully and
how it can turbocharge yourgrowth.
So stick around, it's going toamaze you.
(06:55):
First up, let's expose thepeople-pleaser monster.
We're going to start byacknowledging the gentle-hearted
but thoroughly annoying andlimiting people-pleaser dwelling
within you.
And don't worry, my friend,I've got one too.
Always eager to make othershappy, you've likely discovered
the downside of this noble traitignoring your own needs and
(07:18):
desires.
Psy, psy, because here's thething if you're not paying
attention to your own needs,then who is?
So, my friend, it's time to ripoff the mask and understand why
mindfulness is your new secretweapon.
First up, I want to tell you thestory.
The headline is it's okay to bea wallflower, like picture this
(07:42):
, okay.
So I'm at my brother's placefor New Year's Eve and the
party's hoppin', and the livingroom is now a dance floor and
I'm digging the tunes, being associal as my anxiety will allow
me to be and generally having agood time and you know I'm
engaging in small talk, boo, andsaying yes to everyone's
(08:04):
requests and then saw a lovelyparty animal cross the way and
she was dragging people onto thedance floor and my gut twisted
and I really didn't want todance in front of all these
strangers and my brother's,friends and stuff.
So I just wanted to boppolitely in the doorway.
So I took a second as my fearand anxiety started to ramp up
(08:29):
and I assessed my own needs andI imagined a scenario where I
could mindfully respond withlove and authenticity but still
say no.
And there she was.
I could see her coming.
She asked and against all myinstincts, I said no thanks,
because my old instincts wereleading me to a place of people
(08:51):
pleasing.
But this time I tuned in tomyself and I actually said no
thanks and the party partied onand the world didn't end and I
didn't crumble into a millionpieces and she didn't get angry.
Really, the difference wasprofound and even as I'm saying
this, it's like, okay, wow, yousaid no big deal.
(09:13):
But if I had a dollar for everytime I've been in that same or
similar situation and said yes,despite my own needs and wants.
I'd have several, many dollarsand I'd be counting them from
Bali like for reals, but it wasthe act of being mindful of my
feelings and stepping out of mycomfort zone to honor my needs
(09:36):
that was the game changer.
And was it a big deal?
Probably not.
Was it difficult More than Icould describe?
But the small win I was able toachieve in that moment allowed
me to see that taking care ofmyself wasn't as big of a deal
as the liar in my head made itout to be, and it was convincing
(09:58):
me to say yes when I wanted tosay no.
Like I said, we always haveoptions.
You don't have to live a mindfullife, but let's break down the
dance of mindfulness versusmindlessness.
Living mindfully is being ableto be with yourself in the now.
It's kind of like a dance.
(10:18):
If you're the choreographer,you know the steps.
You're dancing to a tune youdidn't write, have never heard
yet.
Still you expect perfection.
That sounds like a tall order.
When you dance to your own tune, you're tapped into your
heartbeat and that's the mostimportant rhythm that there is.
Life is too short to bestumbling through and missing
(10:42):
the stuff that lights you up.
So let's look at the why andpave the way for all the joy
that's on its way into yourmindful life.
Here's what I'm talking about.
I had this idea of myself thatI was pretty in tune with how I
went about my day to day life,and once upon a time I lived in
(11:02):
Montreal.
Geez, this would have been likeover ten years ago now.
Anyway, I had this neighbor andshe was lovely and very into
the spiritual practice and sheknew me and knew my busy life
and saw how I approached life,trying to get as much done as
possible, and what she alsonoticed was how much I was going
(11:23):
in multiple directions at once.
So we were talking one day andshe shared with me this practice
of being present.
She said picture yourselfsavoring a cup of tea.
Mindfully.
You notice the warmth, thearoma.
Take a sip.
There's subtle flavors.
You relish every moment.
(11:43):
How does the cup feel in yourhands?
Or when you're in the shower?
Are you thinking about everysingle skin cell and how
grateful you are for everysingle part of your body?
When you're thinking about allthese micro details and
enveloping yourself with thesetruths that are right there with
you and around you, there is notime to think of the past or
(12:08):
the future.
There's only the now.
So my answer to her about thetea in the shower was simply uh,
nope, I do not do any of that.
But once I started reallythinking about it, I started
really doing those things andthen I started really savoring
every bite, feeling morenourished, feeling more clean at
(12:32):
the end of that shower, reallyjust feeling more in touch with
myself in the very best way.
In those moments there was noreal estate available in my
brain for money, troubles,relationship issues, work,
stress or other thoughts thathaunt us Now.
Does that mean that thosestressors don't exist?
(12:52):
No, not at all.
This isn't about ignoring thetough stuff.
This is about keeping ourselvesin a space of peace and calm so
that when we do tackle thetougher moments in life, we're
better equipped and coming froma better place on solid ground.
Now contrast that with gulpingdown your tea while multitasking
(13:15):
or worrying your way through ashower and not even remembering
that you were in the shower atall.
You're also missing therichness of that experience.
There's no need to shortchangeyourself.
This is not a race.
Now think about all the chancesthat lie ahead for you to make
the most of it.
So can we do these things?
(13:37):
Sure, do we do these things.
Well, that's not always easy tosay yes to, so let's unpack the
why.
Why is mindfulness challenging?
Understanding why it'schallenging to live mindfully is
a really crucial step in thisthing.
Let's break it down, unpack itand take away some of its
(14:00):
mystery.
For us people, please, are itoften roots in fear?
So fear of judgment, fear ofdisappointing others.
So at this point, the bestthing to do to uncover these
fears and free ourselves fromtheir gross and ugly grip is to
break up with them.
That's it.
We're just going to break upwith the fear.
(14:20):
Are you with me?
Let me give you an example.
This is something that happenedto me recently.
So imagine the fear of sayingno to a friend's request.
So this isn't just any friend,but this is like one of my ride
or die friends.
I've been watching her start herown business from scratch and
she is killing it.
(14:40):
The last six months have beenamazing, watching her pour her
whole self into this project.
She decided it was her dream toopen a women's clothing store
and boom, six months later,store is open.
She's doing her thing, killingit.
A few weeks ago she told methat she needs to go out of town
for a buying trip and asked meto cover the store for a couple
(15:02):
of days.
Now I've got a background inretail.
I could sell ice to an Eskimoand, all things being equal, I
would be great.
And my initial gut response isto be the people pleaser to say
yes, absolutely, how can I help?
But when I really checked mygut it was saying oh fuck,
(15:23):
because I want to say yes, as myformer operating system
encourages me to do, but feelthe pressure of doing it right.
And then I'm alone and I needto learn all these systems and
tools that she's got and I knowhow much is riding on her
success.
So for me the stakes were justtoo high.
(15:43):
So I took a beat, I checked inwith myself and the thought of
saying yes to my friend wasstill really important, but it
would cause me days of anxietyand worry and stress of wanting
to do it right.
So, with a bit of courage, ittook me about 25 minutes to
(16:04):
figure out how to say no, as Ido not have a ton of experience
doing it and I really wanna doit well.
So I said thank you for theoffer, but I'm just not
comfortable or confident that Icould do the job.
Deep breath and we're stillfriends.
That's the news.
The world didn't explode.
(16:26):
She didn't think less of me.
She completely understood.
So the point here is thatmindfulness empowers you to
recognize the fear, acknowledgeit and respond to it from a
place of self-love.
And that act is protectingyourself, avoiding taking on
known additional stress simplyby taking a beat, interrogating
(16:50):
your instincts and acting inalignment with what you truly
need.
She needed a salesperson, andwhile that's a job I could do,
the cost of that was more thanthe dollars and cents that I
would be getting for the work.
Doing this active, mindful workallows you to honor you rather
than succumbing to the anxietyof potential disappointment.
(17:11):
So let's shift into somepractical tips for building
mindfulness with grace.
Now that we've identified theobstacles, let's dive into the
uplifting part.
Finally, here come the tips andtricks to gracefully introduce
mindfulness into your life.
And remember, this is amarathon, not a sprint.
(17:32):
Patience is going to be yourloyal companion and grace is
your guide, your new besties, ifyou will.
So the first pro tip is to startsmall, start simple.
Imagine starting your day witha five minute mindfulness ritual
.
Gee, steph, that sounds alittle woo-woo.
Now, before you hit that skipbutton, I want to stop you right
(17:54):
there.
What if I told you that it wasas simple as breathing?
That's right.
A moment to breathe deeply andconnect with yourself, that's
all it is.
Now remember one of my favoritesayings Just because it's
simple doesn't mean it's easy.
So if you feel like you need aguide at first, that's super
(18:15):
cool.
Youtube has a bunch that youcan find there that have guided
meditations, guiding breathingexercises, so you can search
around, find your vibe and learnas you go.
Or just count five deep breaths.
It can be as simple as that.
Or you can take that momentwith your cup of tea or coffee
(18:35):
and simply drop into the moment,drop into the now, smell, sip,
savor the whole thing and justspend some Zen time with
yourself.
Or, like when you put yoursocks on, really feel them going
over your foot and payattention to how it feels.
When was the last time you didthat?
It seems silly, but it takeszero extra time.
(18:58):
You're just redirecting yourthoughts back to yourself and
over time, you're going to findthese moments accumulating into
a super ritual of self-love.
It will soon pile up and helpyou feel connected and grounded
and I swear you'll even feelmore calm.
It does wonders for yournervous system and allows you to
(19:21):
move through life feeling trulyin control, looking at you with
pro tip number two, showingyourself some frequent patience
and self-compassion.
Now let's get one thing straightPatience is the backbone of any
transformation, whether you'reworking out or planting a garden
.
There is nothing that you cando to rush when you're looking
(19:43):
for lasting and impactful change, especially if you're starting
from scratch.
As you get started on thismindful mission, please, please,
be gentle with yourself.
Be pleased, embraceself-compassion as your ally,
understanding that growth takestime, and that's the best news.
There's no rush, there's nopass or fail, only benefit.
(20:07):
The more you practice, the moreconnected and grounded you'll
feel.
Celebrate all the small littlevictories and let the setbacks
be stepping stones towards amore mindful and loving you.
Think of it this way Imagine agarden, brand new, fresh soil,
suns out, guns out and you'reready to get started.
(20:29):
You plant the seeds, younurture them with water and
vitamins and minerals in thesoil and you patiently wait for
them to bloom.
You don't criticize the flowersfor taking their time and you
don't run outside the day afteryou plant them at expect a full
harvest.
Similarly, this is your cue tobe patient with your own growth
(20:52):
Just click, just keep going.
So maybe a couple of days havegone by and you've noticed that
you've strayed from your mantraand you're feeling a bit
frazzled.
Well, guess what that's?
In the past, you can literallydrop into the now at any moment.
That's how it works, miss one.
God willing, there's anotherone on the way.
(21:14):
Takes a few tries to get going.
That's okay too.
Patience, grace, the middlenames of the game.
So here's to you.
Your mindful life awaits myfriend.
Congratulations for taking thisfirst step towards a more
(21:36):
mindful, self-loving life.
And as you keep going on thisadventure, remember that every
single moment is a chance forgrowth and every single step you
take is going to get you closerto the gorgeous, radiant,
amazing you.
Taking on mindfulness with openarms takes courage.
(21:57):
So I want you to pat yourselfon the back for considering a
life for yourself that includesmore peace and calm, I got to
say, dancing to the rhythm ofyour own heart beat and letting
self-love be the song thatguides you.
It suits you, babe.
So I want to thank you fortuning in today and be sure to
tune into our next episode,where we dig into a subject
(22:20):
known for being my formernemesis.
Saddle up for a deep dive intoa fear a lot of us share the
ugly beast known as rejection.
Learn how to lean intorejection and see it as
redirection.
So find out more on our nextepisode.
But until then, stay awesome,stay mindful, stay fabulous and
(22:41):
keep shining bright.
And with that I definitely wishyou a magical day Peace, love
and mojo.
Toodaloo, kangaroo, ronga.
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