January 9, 2024 • 13 mins
Belonging is an intrinsic need of our humanity deep in our soul. The theology of belonging and becoming.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ethan (00:00):
Raising joyful children in an angry world, a podcast
dedicated to faithful parentsnavigating their families
through a stormy culture.
I observe something this holidayseason that I believe will be
helpful to see how childrendevour delight in belonging and
the connection between becomingand belonging and how that fits
(00:21):
into family joy.
Remember the triangle of joy,who you are, what you believe
in, where you belong.
Understanding the significanceof belonging and how that fills
the intrinsic need to belong isa critical part of joy.
Paul (00:37):
This is Raising Joyful Children in an Angry World.
I'm your host, Paul Osborne.
The Gospel of John, the ApostleJohn, gives us some great
connection and understanding inbelonging and becoming.
In chapter 8, verse 47, he says,Those that hear the voice of
God.
Have the spiritual acousticturned on by the grace of God to
(01:00):
the father.
They belong there is belongingin John 10 verse 27.
Jesus says my sheep hear myvoice.
I know them and they follow me.
What we follow is what webecome.
And no one can take them fromme.
Here he describes our belongingand the permanence of belonging
(01:21):
to God.
And between these two verses ofbelonging, talks about following
him and that's, that's abecoming issue.
In the beginning of the gospel.
John says that those who believein his name, he gives the right
to become the children of God.
And so John's gospel connectsbelonging and becoming.
(01:41):
The opportunity, this dressrehearsal of family.
And this is what I feel I wasobserving.
I saw this in the backyard gamesin decorating Christmas cookies.
In this game.
I'll describe called attack uno.
Having a secure, rich, joyfulsense of belonging.
that comes from our God, ourkids.
(02:02):
need that and they need thatconfidence because that's what's
going to allow them to survivein this ever fickle world that
we live in.
What I hope to explain, andthough I'm certain I'm going to
fall woefully short in in thisdescription, is what belonging
looks like, how our kids delightin it.
(02:22):
And why the world will notprovide it.
I was watching an expert, BrenéBrown, on her TED Talk on
vulnerability.
It speaks to the deep human needof belonging and being part of
something greater thanourselves, as most
behavioralists will tell you.
She makes a very interestingobservation, though.
She says that Fitting in is theopposite of belonging because it
(02:46):
requires us to betray our trueselves.
And she teaches then only peoplewho have kind of a, are
comfortable in their own skin.
They've accepted theirimperfections.
They're comfortable with beingvulnerable because they see
themselves as being worthy.
Have a deep sense of belongingand and those that don't those
(03:08):
that are uncomfortable withvulnerability They don't see
themselves as being worthy.
Then they just numb thevulnerability Well, I think
she's really on to something inone respect But we've got to
answer some of these otherquestions that aren't answered
in the TED talk and aren'tanswered in the schools of
behavioralism first our desireto belong to something greater
(03:31):
than ourselves Where does thatcome from?
Well, if God made us who isinfinitely greater than us, then
it seems almost rational that wewould aspire to be something
beyond ourselves.
Well, how do we know who we are?
Well, we have to come to gripswith the fact that God made us.
And as we've talked about inother episodes.
(03:53):
Because God made us, we canunderstand our talents and our
gifts and who God has called usto be.
How do we accept ourimperfections?
Well, there is the grace of God.
He calls us not because we'relovable.
He didn't call us because wewere perfect or that we met some
standard.
He called us because He loves usbecause He does.
How do we accept vulnerabilityin this shaky society?
(04:17):
Well, that's because God tellsus He will never leave us or
forsake us.
So I can deal with thefickleness of the world because
my Father in Heaven istrustworthy.
I don't abandon myself to fitinto the world now because I
belong to something greater.
And as I mature and I realize, Ican't really do that if I wanted
to see, this is where we get thecourage to live as ourselves
(04:42):
because God has accepted us andGod has filled our need to
belong.
Hopefully on our family is wetry to practice this belonging
so that in our family, we canhelp them transition our kids to
the greater family of God.
And it's really learning tosurrender and just come to the
kingdom as we are.
(05:03):
This is what I saw in thebackyard.
This is what I saw at the cookiedecorating table.
And at Attack Uno.
See, nobody was worrying abouthow well they played the game.
The only thing that mattered isthat each one was part of the
game, part of the laughs.
In fact, the three year oldsweren't playing this hide and go
(05:23):
seek, run back to base gameperfectly, with any real deep
knowledge of the game.
But that wasn't what it wasabout.
It was understanding ofbelonging.
And we were doing it at a veryyoung age.
It was simply being accepted.
And some amount of time, someslice of our activity has to
(05:45):
include this just belonging.
Just because we love you.
Just because you're part of thisfamily.
Not because you meet somestandard.
Not because you did somethingright.
It's just because who you areand because we love you.
The gospel teaches us that weare loved, not because we're
worthy.
But we are worthy because we areloved.
(06:08):
You could see the delight inthese, in the kids.
You could see this.
I belong to something.
I'm part of something.
I get a turn.
Now.
You, you, I'm not going be partof the World Series of Uno.
There's no national hide and goseek league, but it, but these
games and this participation andthis being part of something.
(06:30):
I believe helps us grasp how weare called and accepted by God.
It prepares us to be part of thefamily of God.
See, the Lord speaks of, tochildren.
He says, let the little childrencome unto me.
It's an invitation.
He calls his disciples, come andfollow me.
It's an invitation.
And we have to understand thatwe are not called and invited
(06:52):
because of our greatness, but weare valued because we were
called.
And you could see this delightin belonging to something within
these children.
I'm part of a family.
This is my crew.
I've even seen this on theplayground between the two
church buildings when I seechildren, you know, kind of
racing around and playing thesegames, uh, during sometimes at
(07:15):
church, there's something of,you just belong.
Now where there disagreements,did there occasionally come up
this, you know, tattletailing orsomebody complaining?
Yeah.
But in the moments in which thathad stopped, it was just the
game being played.
The meal was being eaten.
The cookies were beingdecorated.
The, the Attack UNO device inwhich you, you don't really have
(07:36):
to know the game that well, butyou push the lever and it
randomly spits out cardsdepending on how the game is
going.
It just delighted everybody.
See, ultimately this communityand belonging to a community is
satisfied.
When we see our God as havinginvited us and we become part of
his community of faith.
(07:56):
It's by his grace, he's the onethat has to turn on the
spiritual acoustics to hear hisvoice.
Are there disagreements?
Once we get there, sure.
Do people tell on each other?
Is there complaining?
Yes.
But when we see ourselves andothers as belonging to what God
has created, this yearning, thisintrinsic part of the soul is
(08:17):
being satisfied.
And when it happens well,especially in our family, it
gives strength and joy to takeon the world's rejections.
Sadly, in Ms.
Brown's video, she dismissesreligion as having lost its
mystery and become something ofa I'm right, you're wrong, shut
up mess of rejection.
(08:38):
In some ways, she's probablyright, and I'm sure she was
fueled by a bad churchexperience.
But we cannot let a badexperience at church caused by
human failure result in ourignoring the belonging to the
voice of God and the ultimatefulfillment of belonging to the
family of God.
(08:58):
Because it doesn't come from theperson that upset you.
The invitation is from Godhimself.
He is the one who calls us.
Despite our sins and why believewe can model this function of
belonging in our family to worklike the garden to condition our
kids to see the way God works orwe can model our family to work
(09:20):
like the world with tryouts testand fickleness.
Now look, we do ask our kids tobe what they are and that means
at the same time.
It does not include unrepentedsin, but finding these times and
these activities that are notbased on human perfection is not
the same as accepting sinfulbehavior.
(09:43):
For God calls sinners, but hecalls us to repent because he
loves us.
Make belonging to the familyimportant.
Put out divisive fires.
Place the value of the sum ofyour family as greater than the
whole.
This is the theme in MaryPoppins and the Paddington
stories.
It's a family being a place ofbelonging because ultimately we
(10:05):
want to get to the psalmist inpsalm 73 verse 23 and 24 yet.
I still belong to you You holdmy right hand you guide me with
your counsel and you lead me toglorious destiny And look at
communion.
Look at the sacrament of HolyCommunion In Corinthians, verse
(10:28):
16, it's not the, is not the cupof thanksgiving for which we
give thanks, a participationthat words actually koinonia, a
deep, intimate fellowship withthe blood of Christ.
And the same thing about thebody of Christ, we are included,
we are invited into afellowship.
In which God did not spare hisown son, and it includes his
(10:51):
very body and blood.
It's interesting, I'll closewith this.
If you look at the current stateof college football.
You hear this all the time.
It's a brotherhood.
It's a family.
It's unity.
Man, since this NIL that'sreally pulled back the curtain.
And what we're seeing is the waythe world has been injected into
(11:11):
it.
At best, it's a temporarycommunion.
It's a short lived fellowship.
Loyalty and belonging have beendiminished.
As money, fame, and selfadvancement have been elevated.
Many people are upset by it, butit's the way the world works.
It should teach us and remind usthat our need to belong cannot
(11:33):
be found in the world, no matterhow great we are at something.
Trying to belong outside thefaith Is, is one temporary meal
followed by the next, but onceyou have the perspective of
eternal belonging to God'sfamily, once you have that, it
empowers you with the wisdom toenjoy the temporary meal for
(11:55):
what it is and not try to restthe deepest, need in your soul
to belong to such things.
You don't trust that, that deepneed of belonging to things that
are outside the faith.
You understand them for whatthey are.
The reason is simple.
The institutions of man andtheir leaders did not pay for
(12:19):
our sins.
They are not divine.
They did not create us.
They did not shed their blood ona cross.
And that's why they can'tfulfill it.
But the family is the startingplace in which this koinonia
starts.
It's the simplest things thatallow our kids at the youngest
of age to discover belonging.
(12:42):
The ultimate battle for theheart and soul is a fight for
identity.
Our king invites our kids toknow who they are, what to
believe, and where they belong.
Until next time, let's rememberthe words for theirs is the
Kingdom of Heaven.
Raising joyful children in an angry world, a podcast
dedicated to faithful parentsnavigating their families
through a stormy culture.
I observe something this holidayseason that I believe will be
helpful to see how childrendevour delight in belonging and
the connection between becomingand belonging and how that fits
(00:21):
into family joy.
Remember the triangle of joy,who you are, what you believe
in, where you belong.
Understanding the significanceof belonging and how that fills
the intrinsic need to belong isa critical part of joy.
Paul (00:37):
This is Raising Joyful Children in an Angry World.
I'm your host, Paul Osborne.
The Gospel of John, the ApostleJohn, gives us some great
connection and understanding inbelonging and becoming.
In chapter 8, verse 47, he says,Those that hear the voice of
God.
Have the spiritual acousticturned on by the grace of God to
(01:00):
the father.
They belong there is belongingin John 10 verse 27.
Jesus says my sheep hear myvoice.
I know them and they follow me.
What we follow is what webecome.
And no one can take them fromme.
Here he describes our belongingand the permanence of belonging
(01:21):
to God.
And between these two verses ofbelonging, talks about following
him and that's, that's abecoming issue.
In the beginning of the gospel.
John says that those who believein his name, he gives the right
to become the children of God.
And so John's gospel connectsbelonging and becoming.
(01:41):
The opportunity, this dressrehearsal of family.
And this is what I feel I wasobserving.
I saw this in the backyard gamesin decorating Christmas cookies.
In this game.
I'll describe called attack uno.
Having a secure, rich, joyfulsense of belonging.
that comes from our God, ourkids.
(02:02):
need that and they need thatconfidence because that's what's
going to allow them to survivein this ever fickle world that
we live in.
What I hope to explain, andthough I'm certain I'm going to
fall woefully short in in thisdescription, is what belonging
looks like, how our kids delightin it.
(02:22):
And why the world will notprovide it.
I was watching an expert, BrenéBrown, on her TED Talk on
vulnerability.
It speaks to the deep human needof belonging and being part of
something greater thanourselves, as most
behavioralists will tell you.
She makes a very interestingobservation, though.
She says that Fitting in is theopposite of belonging because it
(02:46):
requires us to betray our trueselves.
And she teaches then only peoplewho have kind of a, are
comfortable in their own skin.
They've accepted theirimperfections.
They're comfortable with beingvulnerable because they see
themselves as being worthy.
Have a deep sense of belongingand and those that don't those
(03:08):
that are uncomfortable withvulnerability They don't see
themselves as being worthy.
Then they just numb thevulnerability Well, I think
she's really on to something inone respect But we've got to
answer some of these otherquestions that aren't answered
in the TED talk and aren'tanswered in the schools of
behavioralism first our desireto belong to something greater
(03:31):
than ourselves Where does thatcome from?
Well, if God made us who isinfinitely greater than us, then
it seems almost rational that wewould aspire to be something
beyond ourselves.
Well, how do we know who we are?
Well, we have to come to gripswith the fact that God made us.
And as we've talked about inother episodes.
(03:53):
Because God made us, we canunderstand our talents and our
gifts and who God has called usto be.
How do we accept ourimperfections?
Well, there is the grace of God.
He calls us not because we'relovable.
He didn't call us because wewere perfect or that we met some
standard.
He called us because He loves usbecause He does.
How do we accept vulnerabilityin this shaky society?
(04:17):
Well, that's because God tellsus He will never leave us or
forsake us.
So I can deal with thefickleness of the world because
my Father in Heaven istrustworthy.
I don't abandon myself to fitinto the world now because I
belong to something greater.
And as I mature and I realize, Ican't really do that if I wanted
to see, this is where we get thecourage to live as ourselves
(04:42):
because God has accepted us andGod has filled our need to
belong.
Hopefully on our family is wetry to practice this belonging
so that in our family, we canhelp them transition our kids to
the greater family of God.
And it's really learning tosurrender and just come to the
kingdom as we are.
(05:03):
This is what I saw in thebackyard.
This is what I saw at the cookiedecorating table.
And at Attack Uno.
See, nobody was worrying abouthow well they played the game.
The only thing that mattered isthat each one was part of the
game, part of the laughs.
In fact, the three year oldsweren't playing this hide and go
(05:23):
seek, run back to base gameperfectly, with any real deep
knowledge of the game.
But that wasn't what it wasabout.
It was understanding ofbelonging.
And we were doing it at a veryyoung age.
It was simply being accepted.
And some amount of time, someslice of our activity has to
(05:45):
include this just belonging.
Just because we love you.
Just because you're part of thisfamily.
Not because you meet somestandard.
Not because you did somethingright.
It's just because who you areand because we love you.
The gospel teaches us that weare loved, not because we're
worthy.
But we are worthy because we areloved.
(06:08):
You could see the delight inthese, in the kids.
You could see this.
I belong to something.
I'm part of something.
I get a turn.
Now.
You, you, I'm not going be partof the World Series of Uno.
There's no national hide and goseek league, but it, but these
games and this participation andthis being part of something.
(06:30):
I believe helps us grasp how weare called and accepted by God.
It prepares us to be part of thefamily of God.
See, the Lord speaks of, tochildren.
He says, let the little childrencome unto me.
It's an invitation.
He calls his disciples, come andfollow me.
It's an invitation.
And we have to understand thatwe are not called and invited
(06:52):
because of our greatness, but weare valued because we were
called.
And you could see this delightin belonging to something within
these children.
I'm part of a family.
This is my crew.
I've even seen this on theplayground between the two
church buildings when I seechildren, you know, kind of
racing around and playing thesegames, uh, during sometimes at
(07:15):
church, there's something of,you just belong.
Now where there disagreements,did there occasionally come up
this, you know, tattletailing orsomebody complaining?
Yeah.
But in the moments in which thathad stopped, it was just the
game being played.
The meal was being eaten.
The cookies were beingdecorated.
The, the Attack UNO device inwhich you, you don't really have
(07:36):
to know the game that well, butyou push the lever and it
randomly spits out cardsdepending on how the game is
going.
It just delighted everybody.
See, ultimately this communityand belonging to a community is
satisfied.
When we see our God as havinginvited us and we become part of
his community of faith.
(07:56):
It's by his grace, he's the onethat has to turn on the
spiritual acoustics to hear hisvoice.
Are there disagreements?
Once we get there, sure.
Do people tell on each other?
Is there complaining?
Yes.
But when we see ourselves andothers as belonging to what God
has created, this yearning, thisintrinsic part of the soul is
(08:17):
being satisfied.
And when it happens well,especially in our family, it
gives strength and joy to takeon the world's rejections.
Sadly, in Ms.
Brown's video, she dismissesreligion as having lost its
mystery and become something ofa I'm right, you're wrong, shut
up mess of rejection.
(08:38):
In some ways, she's probablyright, and I'm sure she was
fueled by a bad churchexperience.
But we cannot let a badexperience at church caused by
human failure result in ourignoring the belonging to the
voice of God and the ultimatefulfillment of belonging to the
family of God.
(08:58):
Because it doesn't come from theperson that upset you.
The invitation is from Godhimself.
He is the one who calls us.
Despite our sins and why believewe can model this function of
belonging in our family to worklike the garden to condition our
kids to see the way God works orwe can model our family to work
(09:20):
like the world with tryouts testand fickleness.
Now look, we do ask our kids tobe what they are and that means
at the same time.
It does not include unrepentedsin, but finding these times and
these activities that are notbased on human perfection is not
the same as accepting sinfulbehavior.
(09:43):
For God calls sinners, but hecalls us to repent because he
loves us.
Make belonging to the familyimportant.
Put out divisive fires.
Place the value of the sum ofyour family as greater than the
whole.
This is the theme in MaryPoppins and the Paddington
stories.
It's a family being a place ofbelonging because ultimately we
(10:05):
want to get to the psalmist inpsalm 73 verse 23 and 24 yet.
I still belong to you You holdmy right hand you guide me with
your counsel and you lead me toglorious destiny And look at
communion.
Look at the sacrament of HolyCommunion In Corinthians, verse
(10:28):
16, it's not the, is not the cupof thanksgiving for which we
give thanks, a participationthat words actually koinonia, a
deep, intimate fellowship withthe blood of Christ.
And the same thing about thebody of Christ, we are included,
we are invited into afellowship.
In which God did not spare hisown son, and it includes his
(10:51):
very body and blood.
It's interesting, I'll closewith this.
If you look at the current stateof college football.
You hear this all the time.
It's a brotherhood.
It's a family.
It's unity.
Man, since this NIL that'sreally pulled back the curtain.
And what we're seeing is the waythe world has been injected into
(11:11):
it.
At best, it's a temporarycommunion.
It's a short lived fellowship.
Loyalty and belonging have beendiminished.
As money, fame, and selfadvancement have been elevated.
Many people are upset by it, butit's the way the world works.
It should teach us and remind usthat our need to belong cannot
(11:33):
be found in the world, no matterhow great we are at something.
Trying to belong outside thefaith Is, is one temporary meal
followed by the next, but onceyou have the perspective of
eternal belonging to God'sfamily, once you have that, it
empowers you with the wisdom toenjoy the temporary meal for
(11:55):
what it is and not try to restthe deepest, need in your soul
to belong to such things.
You don't trust that, that deepneed of belonging to things that
are outside the faith.
You understand them for whatthey are.
The reason is simple.
The institutions of man andtheir leaders did not pay for
(12:19):
our sins.
They are not divine.
They did not create us.
They did not shed their blood ona cross.
And that's why they can'tfulfill it.
But the family is the startingplace in which this koinonia
starts.
It's the simplest things thatallow our kids at the youngest
of age to discover belonging.
(12:42):
The ultimate battle for theheart and soul is a fight for
identity.
Our king invites our kids toknow who they are, what to
believe, and where they belong.
Until next time, let's rememberthe words for theirs is the
Kingdom of Heaven.
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