Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ethan (00:00):
Raising joyful children in an angry world, a podcast
dedicated to faithful parentsnavigating their families
through a stormy culture
Paul (2) (00:07):
Tiger Mom versus Free Range Dad this weekend, tennis
Star, Emma Rato, I hope I'msaying her name right.
There was an article about her,an interview with her and she
was talking about how thankfulshe was for the drive and the
competitive demands that herparents put on her.
She says, I didn't always likeit, but it got me to win the US
(00:29):
Open.
And I think so much of thediscussion today in parenting is
either on the highaccountability parents, pushy
parents like Emma's, or we getinto more of the laissez faire,
live and let live, lettingchildren discover the world for
themselves.
And this is what I thinksometimes gets injected into
this concept of free range dad.
(00:50):
Like you create this little,this little range where kids in
the community kind of figure itout for themselves.
And these styles take differentroads.
They ride in different cars.
But I want to say I think theyend up in the very same place.
And most of us are a mix ofthese two models.
Both models pay very closeattention to circumstances.
(01:13):
Tiger Moms push for performanceand accountability and
discipline.
And they believe that's going tokeep them out of trouble and
help them succeed.
Free range dads raise their kidssort of on that natural life,
figuring things out forthemselves and their little kid
communities as they sort ofprevent those deadly mind toxins
of smartphones and social medialike Instagram.
(01:36):
They keep that off the rangewhere the kids can the antelope
play.
And I want to say both styleswhen you read about these
things, they miss God.
And, and you tend to end up in avery self absorbed world that
you create.
And these styles happen a lot,and I know everyone doesn't have
(01:57):
this, but in these upscalesuburbs where the maids clean
the house.
Landscapers cut the grass.
Vendors wash the car.
You grow up never really tastingtrust that's found in household
responsibility.
And you miss this benefit of ahierarchical structure of the
family.
And the intent is that it istrying to lead you up to a place
(02:21):
where you begin to seek afterand trust and are awakened to
trusting in God.
Parents and societies are tryingto sometimes press
accountability without thepractice of responsibility.
That's done simple stuff.
Your, your turn to load thedishwasher.
It's your job to cut the grass,and, and when you end up trying
to raise children as if theywere strictly, simply body and
(02:45):
mind, physical and rational, inthe quid pro quo world, that is,
I do this for you, you do thisfor me, and that world that has
fallen, this sinful world, thatSometimes delivers injustice and
false accusations that we talkedabout.
And how do you deal with yourown sin when you've got nothing,
(03:08):
rationalization to live by?
If you're driven by the world'ssuccess and external
validations, or you're themaverick, I'm going to do it my
way.
And, and when the world failsyou, right?
When the world delivers itsinjustice and it's, it's
ugliness.
You then find yourselfidentifying as the victim and we
(03:29):
see a lot of this in thesociety.
I'm the victim and I'm going tocrusade against those
institutions that betrayedhumanity.
And then when it comes to yourown sins, right, you just, well,
you just have to justify yourbehavior.
I mean, in some of those sins,when, you know, the old word is
concupence, which is to, it'sthe propensity to have sensual
(03:49):
sin.
When those desires get outsidethe boundaries, man, that too
becomes an identity.
And so you miss the aspect ofthe soul and the soul care when
it comes to Tiger Mom, FreeRange Dad, without any concept
of the Lord Jesus Christ and oftalking about the soul and your
connection to God.
(04:09):
And more and more of our societyis slipping away from this.
More and more families are dechurching.
They create their own creeds.
They build their own altars inwhich the sacraments of their
blood, sweat, and tears of thatof the self are what is
sacrificed.
And so in this story, Godfathers Joseph
In Genesis
in ways that you won't readabout in the articles regarding
(04:34):
superstars and the rich and thefamous or the countless parents
that are warning you about allthe injustices being done or the
dangers of technology.
Learning to build trust viaresponsibility.
We taste trust at home and weawaken to trust and to turn to
God.
We give kids chores andresponsibility and exceedingly
(04:55):
more responsibility.
And then that is how they learnto trust and that's where
freedom is found.
And today I want to focus on,well, what does it mean to trust
God?
What are we trusting God for?
Because I want, I want us tohelp our kids see what it means
to believe in God.
But also, why am I trusting God?
(05:18):
And one of the things that wesaid as we looked at this from a
catechismical understanding ofthe Bible stories, In the
Apostles Creed we say, I believein the forgiveness of sins.
And I want you to see the depthand the breadth of that and how
it bears in raising our kids sothat they can trust God to
(05:38):
forgive sins, not just theirs,but the sins of the world.
And so the Joseph story tells usa very different understanding
of how God delivers this andreveals this.
To help our kids not trust thecircumstances and for us to be
patient in watching that faithgrow.
(05:59):
We see Joseph, like a superhero,move from trap to get out of the
trap.
God delivers him out of one trapafter the other.
He's trapped between hisenvious, distrusting brothers
and his favoring, distrustfulfather.
And he's baked into even some ofhis own greatness in terms of
his dreams.
He ends up in slavery.
(06:19):
Potiphar's house, right?
That's his first delivery.
And Potiphar gives him moreresponsibility.
And this is the first time wesee God's law when he's falsely
accused, and he flees from theadvancements of Potiphar's wife.
He says, I don't want to, Idon't want to be disloyal to the
person that's been loyal to me.
And I don't want to sin againstGod.
(06:40):
And there we see the law.
We're seeing the law.
That's the first part of ourcatechism, by the way.
And then he ends up in jail,right?
Because of the false accusation.
And the cup bearer and the bakerbring him some dreams.
And he says there, hmm,interpretations belong to God.
And he gives thoseinterpretations, to the cup
bearer as well as, as well asthe baker.
(07:03):
And now he's moving from God'slaw to God's sovereignty.
There's still a little bit ofthis, hey, remember me, there's
still a little bit of that quidpro quo, a little bit of trust
in the goodness of humanity.
I did you this huge favor,hopefully you'll remember me.
I'm in here, and it's unjustly.
I've been falsely accused, I wasbrought here from the land of
Hebrews.
And so what, what I want you tosee here is, is this God is
(07:24):
moving him through thesecircumstances, teaching him to
trust, revealing more ofhimself.
And learning, learning to trustin the forgiveness of sins.
And so finally he is releasedfrom jail when Pharaoh needs a
dream interpreted.
And the cupbearer suddenly kindof remembers this.
This is like two years later.
He's now 30 years old.
(07:46):
And Pharaoh brings him in.
He's had this dream, twodifferent dreams.
There's like seven healthy cowsand then seven sick cows come
and eat the seven healthy ones.
And this is what he says toPharaoh when he says, Oh, I
understand you can interpretdreams.
And he says, It's not in me.
Now he has finally come to theconfession.
It's not in me.
And points to the dreams and theinterpretations are from God
(08:08):
alone.
And it's at this point, at thispoint where he is confessing and
trusting in God he is connectingthis to some degree of
forgiveness.
It's now that he's totallytrusting God that Pharaoh then
says, Okay, I'm going to put youin charge of everything.
You're going to be the numbertwo guy here.
(08:29):
And I'm not trying to moralizeor spiritualize this story.
I'm not trying to myth it.
It's a real story.
It's a true historicalnarrative.
But true historical narrativesalso tell us interesting things
about God, especially becauseit's in our Bible.
See, we are slaves to the sin ofour ego.
(08:49):
We're trapped in the sin ofhumanity and the kingdom of the
world.
We're imprisoned by our trust ofmen.
And until God the FatherAlmighty, which is what we've
been talking about, learning totrust, until He frees us.
from ourselves and the sins ofthe world.
That's when Joseph surrenders toGod and he gives all the glory
(09:12):
to God and then he's brought tohis ultimate purpose, which
we'll talk about in more detailnext time.
And even the dream from wayback, when his, when the ear of
corn went high and the other wasbowed down, it's finally
beginning to be revealed to him.
And this is what's so hard aboutparenting in the angry world.
(09:35):
Circumstances may be unfair andthey're going to be unfair at
times and unjust.
Should we stand up for our kids?
Yes.
Should we only stand up for ourkids and that's all we do about
it?
No.
So when we share stories in theBible about Joseph and others,
it can't be this, well, his dadgave him a coat and his mean
(09:56):
brothers were jealous and thenhe forgave them.
that's not beneficial.
It has to be better than thatbecause it doesn't give us the
understanding that we need totrust in God and that, and that
how we believe in theforgiveness of sins.
When we examine injustice and weask God to redeem the injustice
(10:17):
and we encourage our kids towait for God to redeem it.
That's how we have to deal withcircumstances and it's so hard.
Again, it doesn't mean you don'tstand up for your kids, but
these are opportunities to learnto trust God to redeem
situations.
Because when we say we believein the forgiveness of sin.
(10:37):
What we mean by that is is it'snot just, well, I've been
forgiven so I don't have to goto hell.
We mean we are released from thetraps caused by our sin and by
the others sins.
We're released from our own sinbecause God and God alone is
able to deliver us from thepower and the grip of sin.
(10:58):
See, this is, this is tough toget, but I'm sharing this
because the culture is tellingour kids We're trapped in the
sins of the world and we cannotescape it, so it's best to
become identified as a victim ofinjustice and do not believe in
the forgiveness of sins.
The victim culture does notbelieve in the forgiveness of
(11:20):
sins.
It is a subtle piece of heresy.
The culture is telling our kidsthat sinful desires, meh,
they're not, they're not sinfulanymore.
What the church fathers, as Isaid earlier, called
concupiscence.
Uh, it's the desire and thepresencity to sin sensually.
It's now identified as, meh,that's who you are, nothing you
(11:41):
can do about it.
And again, that's a culture thatdoes not believe in the
forgiveness of sin.
Joseph is released from sinfultrap after sinful trap, because
the God who forgives sins, whoreleases us from the bondage and
the prison of sin, demonstratesthis reality in this real life.
(12:04):
We, we gotta get beyond.
I'm forgiven, therefore I get togo to heaven.
I'm forgiven, therefore I shouldforgive others.
Those are both beautiful piecesof understanding forgiveness,
but this release from thebondage of sin that's found in
trusting God is so much bigger.
God is bringing forgiveness andrestoration for the sins of the
(12:27):
whole world, and as a believerwe have to trust in God's
promises.
We certainly speak the truthabout envy of the world.
We set our expectations for suchbehavior.
We speak the truth aboutinjustice of the world.
But we seek God's wisdom in allof it and we walk by faith, not
by circumstances.
(12:48):
We have to recognize it's not inus to fix the world by ourselves
apart from God.
We have to trust God first.
We saw how God spoon feedsresponsibility in getting this
taste for trust.
And then when we see His handand we see His forgiveness, then
we are able to take the actionbased on His revealed truth.
(13:09):
And we're also able to thenforgive others as they forgive
us.
This is very subtle.
I wanted to spend this sectionon this.
Because you can be a tiger momand there's, I'm not demeaning
this, uh, certainly holding kidsto high standards and
responsibilities.
That's, you know, depending onthe child, that may be great.
(13:32):
There's nothing wrong withsetting up and letting children
kind of figure out their ownplay and their own rules in the
backyard for kickball on thefree range.
There's nothing wrong with thosethings.
There's nothing wrong withmonitoring how much cell phone
time and how much social mediaand watching out over those
things.
But you've got to have the bigpicture and the big picture and
(13:53):
the main thing is that our kidslearn to trust God and that they
learn to believe in theforgiveness of sins.
The ultimate battle for theheart and soul is a fight for
identity.
Our king invites our kids toknow who they are, what to
(14:13):
believe, and where they belong.
Until next time, let's rememberthe words for theirs is the
Kingdom of Heaven.
Raising joyful children in an angry world, a podcast
dedicated to faithful parentsnavigating their families
through a stormy culture
Paul (2) (00:07):
Tiger Mom versus Free Range Dad this weekend, tennis
Star, Emma Rato, I hope I'msaying her name right.
There was an article about her,an interview with her and she
was talking about how thankfulshe was for the drive and the
competitive demands that herparents put on her.
She says, I didn't always likeit, but it got me to win the US
(00:29):
Open.
And I think so much of thediscussion today in parenting is
either on the highaccountability parents, pushy
parents like Emma's, or we getinto more of the laissez faire,
live and let live, lettingchildren discover the world for
themselves.
And this is what I thinksometimes gets injected into
this concept of free range dad.
(00:50):
Like you create this little,this little range where kids in
the community kind of figure itout for themselves.
And these styles take differentroads.
They ride in different cars.
But I want to say I think theyend up in the very same place.
And most of us are a mix ofthese two models.
Both models pay very closeattention to circumstances.
(01:13):
Tiger Moms push for performanceand accountability and
discipline.
And they believe that's going tokeep them out of trouble and
help them succeed.
Free range dads raise their kidssort of on that natural life,
figuring things out forthemselves and their little kid
communities as they sort ofprevent those deadly mind toxins
of smartphones and social medialike Instagram.
(01:36):
They keep that off the rangewhere the kids can the antelope
play.
And I want to say both styleswhen you read about these
things, they miss God.
And, and you tend to end up in avery self absorbed world that
you create.
And these styles happen a lot,and I know everyone doesn't have
(01:57):
this, but in these upscalesuburbs where the maids clean
the house.
Landscapers cut the grass.
Vendors wash the car.
You grow up never really tastingtrust that's found in household
responsibility.
And you miss this benefit of ahierarchical structure of the
family.
And the intent is that it istrying to lead you up to a place
(02:21):
where you begin to seek afterand trust and are awakened to
trusting in God.
Parents and societies are tryingto sometimes press
accountability without thepractice of responsibility.
That's done simple stuff.
Your, your turn to load thedishwasher.
It's your job to cut the grass,and, and when you end up trying
to raise children as if theywere strictly, simply body and
(02:45):
mind, physical and rational, inthe quid pro quo world, that is,
I do this for you, you do thisfor me, and that world that has
fallen, this sinful world, thatSometimes delivers injustice and
false accusations that we talkedabout.
And how do you deal with yourown sin when you've got nothing,
(03:08):
rationalization to live by?
If you're driven by the world'ssuccess and external
validations, or you're themaverick, I'm going to do it my
way.
And, and when the world failsyou, right?
When the world delivers itsinjustice and it's, it's
ugliness.
You then find yourselfidentifying as the victim and we
(03:29):
see a lot of this in thesociety.
I'm the victim and I'm going tocrusade against those
institutions that betrayedhumanity.
And then when it comes to yourown sins, right, you just, well,
you just have to justify yourbehavior.
I mean, in some of those sins,when, you know, the old word is
concupence, which is to, it'sthe propensity to have sensual
(03:49):
sin.
When those desires get outsidethe boundaries, man, that too
becomes an identity.
And so you miss the aspect ofthe soul and the soul care when
it comes to Tiger Mom, FreeRange Dad, without any concept
of the Lord Jesus Christ and oftalking about the soul and your
connection to God.
(04:09):
And more and more of our societyis slipping away from this.
More and more families are dechurching.
They create their own creeds.
They build their own altars inwhich the sacraments of their
blood, sweat, and tears of thatof the self are what is
sacrificed.
And so in this story, Godfathers Joseph
In Genesis
in ways that you won't readabout in the articles regarding
(04:34):
superstars and the rich and thefamous or the countless parents
that are warning you about allthe injustices being done or the
dangers of technology.
Learning to build trust viaresponsibility.
We taste trust at home and weawaken to trust and to turn to
God.
We give kids chores andresponsibility and exceedingly
(04:55):
more responsibility.
And then that is how they learnto trust and that's where
freedom is found.
And today I want to focus on,well, what does it mean to trust
God?
What are we trusting God for?
Because I want, I want us tohelp our kids see what it means
to believe in God.
But also, why am I trusting God?
(05:18):
And one of the things that wesaid as we looked at this from a
catechismical understanding ofthe Bible stories, In the
Apostles Creed we say, I believein the forgiveness of sins.
And I want you to see the depthand the breadth of that and how
it bears in raising our kids sothat they can trust God to
(05:38):
forgive sins, not just theirs,but the sins of the world.
And so the Joseph story tells usa very different understanding
of how God delivers this andreveals this.
To help our kids not trust thecircumstances and for us to be
patient in watching that faithgrow.
(05:59):
We see Joseph, like a superhero,move from trap to get out of the
trap.
God delivers him out of one trapafter the other.
He's trapped between hisenvious, distrusting brothers
and his favoring, distrustfulfather.
And he's baked into even some ofhis own greatness in terms of
his dreams.
He ends up in slavery.
(06:19):
Potiphar's house, right?
That's his first delivery.
And Potiphar gives him moreresponsibility.
And this is the first time wesee God's law when he's falsely
accused, and he flees from theadvancements of Potiphar's wife.
He says, I don't want to, Idon't want to be disloyal to the
person that's been loyal to me.
And I don't want to sin againstGod.
(06:40):
And there we see the law.
We're seeing the law.
That's the first part of ourcatechism, by the way.
And then he ends up in jail,right?
Because of the false accusation.
And the cup bearer and the bakerbring him some dreams.
And he says there, hmm,interpretations belong to God.
And he gives thoseinterpretations, to the cup
bearer as well as, as well asthe baker.
(07:03):
And now he's moving from God'slaw to God's sovereignty.
There's still a little bit ofthis, hey, remember me, there's
still a little bit of that quidpro quo, a little bit of trust
in the goodness of humanity.
I did you this huge favor,hopefully you'll remember me.
I'm in here, and it's unjustly.
I've been falsely accused, I wasbrought here from the land of
Hebrews.
And so what, what I want you tosee here is, is this God is
(07:24):
moving him through thesecircumstances, teaching him to
trust, revealing more ofhimself.
And learning, learning to trustin the forgiveness of sins.
And so finally he is releasedfrom jail when Pharaoh needs a
dream interpreted.
And the cupbearer suddenly kindof remembers this.
This is like two years later.
He's now 30 years old.
(07:46):
And Pharaoh brings him in.
He's had this dream, twodifferent dreams.
There's like seven healthy cowsand then seven sick cows come
and eat the seven healthy ones.
And this is what he says toPharaoh when he says, Oh, I
understand you can interpretdreams.
And he says, It's not in me.
Now he has finally come to theconfession.
It's not in me.
And points to the dreams and theinterpretations are from God
(08:08):
alone.
And it's at this point, at thispoint where he is confessing and
trusting in God he is connectingthis to some degree of
forgiveness.
It's now that he's totallytrusting God that Pharaoh then
says, Okay, I'm going to put youin charge of everything.
You're going to be the numbertwo guy here.
(08:29):
And I'm not trying to moralizeor spiritualize this story.
I'm not trying to myth it.
It's a real story.
It's a true historicalnarrative.
But true historical narrativesalso tell us interesting things
about God, especially becauseit's in our Bible.
See, we are slaves to the sin ofour ego.
(08:49):
We're trapped in the sin ofhumanity and the kingdom of the
world.
We're imprisoned by our trust ofmen.
And until God the FatherAlmighty, which is what we've
been talking about, learning totrust, until He frees us.
from ourselves and the sins ofthe world.
That's when Joseph surrenders toGod and he gives all the glory
(09:12):
to God and then he's brought tohis ultimate purpose, which
we'll talk about in more detailnext time.
And even the dream from wayback, when his, when the ear of
corn went high and the other wasbowed down, it's finally
beginning to be revealed to him.
And this is what's so hard aboutparenting in the angry world.
(09:35):
Circumstances may be unfair andthey're going to be unfair at
times and unjust.
Should we stand up for our kids?
Yes.
Should we only stand up for ourkids and that's all we do about
it?
No.
So when we share stories in theBible about Joseph and others,
it can't be this, well, his dadgave him a coat and his mean
(09:56):
brothers were jealous and thenhe forgave them.
that's not beneficial.
It has to be better than thatbecause it doesn't give us the
understanding that we need totrust in God and that, and that
how we believe in theforgiveness of sins.
When we examine injustice and weask God to redeem the injustice
(10:17):
and we encourage our kids towait for God to redeem it.
That's how we have to deal withcircumstances and it's so hard.
Again, it doesn't mean you don'tstand up for your kids, but
these are opportunities to learnto trust God to redeem
situations.
Because when we say we believein the forgiveness of sin.
(10:37):
What we mean by that is is it'snot just, well, I've been
forgiven so I don't have to goto hell.
We mean we are released from thetraps caused by our sin and by
the others sins.
We're released from our own sinbecause God and God alone is
able to deliver us from thepower and the grip of sin.
(10:58):
See, this is, this is tough toget, but I'm sharing this
because the culture is tellingour kids We're trapped in the
sins of the world and we cannotescape it, so it's best to
become identified as a victim ofinjustice and do not believe in
the forgiveness of sins.
The victim culture does notbelieve in the forgiveness of
(11:20):
sins.
It is a subtle piece of heresy.
The culture is telling our kidsthat sinful desires, meh,
they're not, they're not sinfulanymore.
What the church fathers, as Isaid earlier, called
concupiscence.
Uh, it's the desire and thepresencity to sin sensually.
It's now identified as, meh,that's who you are, nothing you
(11:41):
can do about it.
And again, that's a culture thatdoes not believe in the
forgiveness of sin.
Joseph is released from sinfultrap after sinful trap, because
the God who forgives sins, whoreleases us from the bondage and
the prison of sin, demonstratesthis reality in this real life.
(12:04):
We, we gotta get beyond.
I'm forgiven, therefore I get togo to heaven.
I'm forgiven, therefore I shouldforgive others.
Those are both beautiful piecesof understanding forgiveness,
but this release from thebondage of sin that's found in
trusting God is so much bigger.
God is bringing forgiveness andrestoration for the sins of the
(12:27):
whole world, and as a believerwe have to trust in God's
promises.
We certainly speak the truthabout envy of the world.
We set our expectations for suchbehavior.
We speak the truth aboutinjustice of the world.
But we seek God's wisdom in allof it and we walk by faith, not
by circumstances.
(12:48):
We have to recognize it's not inus to fix the world by ourselves
apart from God.
We have to trust God first.
We saw how God spoon feedsresponsibility in getting this
taste for trust.
And then when we see His handand we see His forgiveness, then
we are able to take the actionbased on His revealed truth.
(13:09):
And we're also able to thenforgive others as they forgive
us.
This is very subtle.
I wanted to spend this sectionon this.
Because you can be a tiger momand there's, I'm not demeaning
this, uh, certainly holding kidsto high standards and
responsibilities.
That's, you know, depending onthe child, that may be great.
(13:32):
There's nothing wrong withsetting up and letting children
kind of figure out their ownplay and their own rules in the
backyard for kickball on thefree range.
There's nothing wrong with thosethings.
There's nothing wrong withmonitoring how much cell phone
time and how much social mediaand watching out over those
things.
But you've got to have the bigpicture and the big picture and
(13:53):
the main thing is that our kidslearn to trust God and that they
learn to believe in theforgiveness of sins.
The ultimate battle for theheart and soul is a fight for
identity.
Our king invites our kids toknow who they are, what to
(14:13):
believe, and where they belong.
Until next time, let's rememberthe words for theirs is the
Kingdom of Heaven.
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