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April 14, 2023 38 mins

When life gets hard, a lot of men withdraw. They talk less. In the face of a health challenge for yourself or a loved one, you might be much more willing to discuss logistics and tasks than the emotional impact.

My guest today is not most men. He believes in having hard conversations with people going through trauma. 

David Richman is an author, public speaker, and endurance athlete whose mission is to form more meaningful human connections through storytelling. With his most recent book, Cycle of Lives, David shares stories of people overcoming trauma and delves deeply into their emotional journeys with cancer.

He interviewed fifteen people who were profoundly affected by cancer - either as a caregiver, patient, or loved one - and explored the dynamic of why it's so hard to discuss the emotional aspects of the journey. These evocative stories give the reader a few tools to take away and use in their own lives when encountering the difficulties of talking to others about the emotional aspects of trauma.

We discuss getting past assumptions, beginning the hard conversations, and being open to the negative and positive aspects of traumatic experiences. To connect with the people we care about, we must be willing to be uncomfortable. There is more behind anyone's story than we know.

Don't worry about what's "proper." Let someone know you care authentically.

Topics and Questions

  • 1:13: - What prompted you to want to write a book dealing with cancer?
  • 1:13: - What prompted you to want to write a book dealing with cancer?
  • 4:44 - Did each participant have a positive side to their experience?
  • 7:12 - How did you decide on these 15 stories? 
  • 9:46 - Did you come across any common themes amongst the participants?
  • 13:52 - Did you see that prior trauma led to more or less resilience regarding cancer?
  • 18:27 - Fear of abandonment during trauma.
  • 19:49 - The lie of not wanting to upset someone further.
  • 21:09 - Is it scarier that people might not care or that they would care?
  • 22:48 - Did everyone want the same sort of support?
  • 25:44 - How did you get people to open up to you on such a personal and profound level?
  • 27:21 - Is the advice the same for friends and family who are not trying to write books?
  • 28:44 - What do you hope the reader takes away from reading your book?
  • 29:47 - How do you think the participants' lives were affected by your deep interactions with them?
  • 35:24 - What's the best way for people to learn more about what you are up to?
  • 35:32 - Anything you are looking forward to?
  • 36:16 - Did this prompt participants to write or share more of their stories?

"People are so fearful of saying the wrong thing, while the person going thru the trauma is wondering why nobody will talk to them." - David Richman

Links

Instagram -- instagram.com/davidrichman_cycleoflives/

David Ricman -- CycleofLives.org

See Cycle of Lives on Amazon, https://amzn.to/3GK6zlF


Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

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