September 19, 2025 • 29 mins
Self-Care is Selfless
In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant is joined by Coach Brian Parana, a health coach, husband, father of four, and former owner of a CrossFit gym. Brian emphasizes that the most selfless thing a man can do for his loved ones is to take better care of himself. Throughout their discussion, Brian shares his journey into fitness, insights on balancing self-care with family responsibilities, and the importance of community and accountability.
The episode examines the challenges men face in prioritizing their health and offers practical advice for overcoming these obstacles. Listeners are also introduced to Brian's 'Call to Rise,' a 100-day transformation program designed to help men reclaim their energy and leadership.
00:00 Introduction: The Importance of Self-Care
00:30 Welcome to Real Men Feel
00:36 Meet Coach Brian Parana
01:32 Brian's Journey into Fitness
03:23 Balancing Health and Relationships
04:53 The Selflessness of Self-Care
05:38 Reframing Mindsets for Better Health
07:49 Success Stories: Transforming Lives
10:17 Common Excuses and Overcoming Them
14:42 The Call to Rise Program
16:20 Building a Brotherhood Through Fitness
22:40 Balancing Family, Work, and Health
26:49 The Importance of Self-Leadership
27:54 Final Thoughts and Farewell
Connect with Brian
The Call To Rise — https://thecalltorise.com/
Instagram — https://instagram.com/coachbrianparana
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/coachbrianparana/
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachbrianparana/
Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant Website | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel Website | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel
#RealMenFeel ep 371
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
When we are taking care of ourselves, it is selfless,
right? You have to take care of
yourself before you can take care of others.
Put the airplane, ask on first before you can help anyone else.
Those are always the rules and we always want to put it on
others. But then you're left fatigued,
(00:20):
You can't think clearly, you're not making good decisions, and
therefore you're not actually caring for the people around you
as best you you actually really can.
Hello and welcome to Real Men Feel.
The podcast reminds men that they're human beings, and that's
OK. I'm your host, Andy Grant.
Today's guest believes that the most selfless thing a man can do
for the people he loves is take better care of himself.
(00:43):
I'm joined by Coach Brian Purana, a health coach, husband,
father of four, and former CrossFit gym owner who's helped
thousands of men transform theirhealth and their lives.
Brian's not about fad diets or quick fixes.
He blends science, back strategies, radical
accountability, and a brotherhood of support to help
men reclaim their energy, confidence, and leadership at
(01:05):
home and at work. If you've ever felt guilty for
taking time for yourself, or you've told yourself you'll get
healthy when life slows down, this conversation is the wake up
call you need. If you're looking for a space to
connect with other men on this journey of authenticity and
growth, join us in the AuthenticAF community at
realmenfield.org/group. It's free and it's for you.
(01:27):
Let's do it. Hello, Brian, and welcome to
Real Men Field. Hi, Andy.
Thanks for having me. So appreciate it.
So you've been in health and fitness for your entire career.
Personal training, owning gyms and now coaching.
What first drew you into fitness?
I like to say it was, it was Rocky Balboa.
(01:48):
Funny enough, the training montages when the music starts
going and it's just like, oh, that is what really got me
interested and excited about just exercise.
I played sports. I did baseball and basketball.
I couldn't really catch anythingreally.
Well, I, I quickly moved on fromthat to my, my friend, high
(02:10):
school friend, and I actually saw him in the last week, Dan,
he actually invited me out to gorun track.
And that started really getting into the exercise be old and the
training and the exercise. I'd wake up early and we'd train
on the weekends. And it's just evolved from such
(02:32):
a a young early age basically. And has your approach to health
and self-care changed since Rocky?
In general, no. I work out multiple times a
week. I try to eat healthy.
Today we had some tilapia with some corn and some sweet potato
(02:53):
fries. That was dinner we just got done
eating. I drink lots of water.
Actually have my my water here. So this is 40 oz container.
Try and get at least 2 for sure.More likely 3:00 every single
day. And I do my best with sleep.
If if I were to have an Achillesheel, that usually is sleep and
(03:13):
that gets sacrificed for career,it gets sacrificed for exercise,
it gets for family, all sorts ofthings.
So. So there are two great stressors
in life that that people choose to undertake. 1 is
entrepreneurship and one is relationships, and you've known
(03:35):
your wife since high school, so I wonder if you have any secrets
to making both those things work?
Oh, I, I wish I did. 1 is being persistent and wanting to make
sure that the relationship worksright.
I and she, we both came from from divorced parents and we
understand what that looks like and feels like.
(03:57):
And we have, we have 4 kids. We don't want to repeat that.
And so there's a committed consistency that we want to have
for our relationship to be thereand be together for them quite a
bit. And I, I still really enjoy her
company. She makes me laugh and we, we
(04:20):
travel a lot. We've, we've done all 50 states,
multiple countries, continent. She's the traveller and I get
guilt by association and get to out with her quite a bit.
And that's something that has I probably wouldn't have done, not
even remotely to the level that my my mom and and family, We
used to just go to Myrtle Beach on repeat it felt like for many
(04:43):
years. But we've been all over the
place now as a result of Amber'sdesire to travel and explore the
world. There's something you say that I
really love and resonate with, and it's that men taking care of
themselves is one of the most selfless things they can do.
Right. Could.
Can you expand on that? Yeah.
(05:04):
Definitely, Andy, when we are taking care of ourselves, it is
selfless, right? You have to take care of
yourself before you can take care of others.
Put the airplane. Ask on first before you can help
anyone else. Those are always the rules and
we always want to put it on others.
But then you're left fatigued. You're left you can't think
(05:27):
clearly. You're not making good decisions
and therefore you don't. You're not actually caring for
the people around you as best you you actually really can.
A lot of guys have been taught that not to put themselves 1st
and perhaps they feel guilty fordoing so.
How do you help someone reframe their mindset if that's the case
(05:48):
for? Them yeah, I I love that reframe
word. And whenever I'm talking with
anyone, I am jumping into what their why is why is this
important to take care of yourself at some point?
Usually in my experience, unfortunately, people come to me
in some of the worst health thatyou've been in.
Like Brian, I need some help. Now, most people aren't knocking
(06:10):
on my door, probably in yours too, right there.
There's some sort of issues thatare going on when they start to
show up to find, troubleshoot, problem solved and overcome
those things. And I have to understand why is
it important for someone to better their health to start
paying attention to the food they eat and and move their
body? Because the lack of doing that
(06:32):
has caused them to move in the direction that they don't want
to experience anymore. And we know unfortunately, 40%
of Americans are overweight or obese.
It's moving in that direction. And poor health assisted living
centers is big pharma. We have so much around people
(06:54):
just getting sick. Prevention is a cure.
And if we can take care of ourselves first, not just even
if you want to think about it from a lighter thought is you're
actually going to save money by taking care of yourself because
of the added extra healthcare expenses or insurance or even
(07:15):
think about the time. How often do you want to
actually go to the doctor? Andy you probably never really
want to go to the doctor, right?It's not not the first place you
want to mark off on your calendar to, to go visit and and
therefore, if we take care of ourselves, we can greatly reduce
our our exposure and likeliness of having a diseased state in
(07:36):
our body and our mind because they're interlinked.
What sort of changes have you seen in men's lives when they do
finally focus on their own health?
I, I actually reconnected with an old client.
This was pre COVID that we started working together and he
said I want to lose weight, get in better shape and and all
(07:57):
that. And Mike was his name and I
reconnected with him just literally in the last few weeks
because I'm, I'm just really getting out and eating out of
the trenches in a sense. I've just been so head deep and
working individually one-on-one with people.
And this is the podcast coming out and exploring this.
So I reached out to him and connected and he said, hey, I'd
(08:18):
be happy to get on call, but I have something else to tell.
You said, oh, you're leaving me in suspense, aren't you?
And we got on the call. He said, Brian, when we were
working together, I met a girl who's now my fiance and we're
actually getting married in August, literally in this month
that we're in right now. And that is why I do what I do.
(08:41):
That's what I'm after. I've had so many stories that
Drake is another one. Drake came to me 270.
He was a crazy successful careermanaging lots of zeros and an
architect firm in Tennessee. But his blood pressure was so
high, the doctor was threateninghim that you're going on meds
(09:04):
ASAP. And he said give me give me a
couple weeks to try and solve this.
This guy just launched because he knew he was a walking heart
attack and he changed his lifestyle.
He changed what he thought. He changed his career.
He actually exited his career. He sold off his Shelby GT
Mustang that he was driving around in because I asked him a
(09:25):
question, do you even like that car?
And he said actually, Brian, I don't I'm not sure why I'm
driving it. And the guy sold it off within a
week and got up and up 150 because that's the type of guy
he is. And that it just became
congruent lifestyle around who he was and what he is about.
And he was able to express that through taking better care of
(09:48):
himself. And those are just two of
countless stories of even doctors saying they, they look
at you, my, my client, what haveyou done?
This is great. I barely recognize you or your,
your blood panels are so much better than they were.
Maybe we don't have to be diabetic or we don't have to
worry about heart disease reallyin a sense and and just amazing
(10:13):
stories like that or, or why I do it and keep doing it.
What are some of the most commonexcuses or obstacles that men
will talk about for not taking better care of themselves?
One, men fall in the old adage of never asking for directions.
I think you probably experiencedthat with in a lot of your work
(10:34):
as well, right? The men don't want to ask for
help. And I think that is an old
fallacy that we don't have to continue.
Men's health, especially mental health, has been talked about
more and more throughout the last, say, 1520 years.
And it's OK. I, I, I have a coach, I like
being guided, I like being supported.
(10:55):
I'm in your community. I, I like being connected to
other men even, but one, just even going back to my story of
my father was there in my youth,but not so much recently and
more absent in the last, you know, 15 to 20 years that that
(11:15):
impacts me. I don't have the manual to being
a good husband. I don't have the manual to being
a good father. And I'm a constantly assessing
the landscape of who are good role models or what should I be
doing and, and all that. And that, that really helps me
guide. So men, you're allowed to ask
for help. So that's number one.
And then number 2 is I'm too busy.
(11:39):
BUSY. That's the number one excuse I
hear from everyone. Or I'm going to do it tomorrow.
Tomorrow never comes. These are inherent delays that
people want to put off because they just don't want to take
responsibility. Life is lifing.
You have to accept what's going around around you.
(12:00):
And if you don't like it, you can change it, especially your
health. And that's the most important
place to start, especially if things feel out of control or
swirling around. And I say this, and I think this
is your body can be a reflectionof what's going on inside or in
turn in in your world. And you don't have to say that
(12:22):
just because you're overweight, you're say lazy or your your
home life is bad or something. That's not what I'm implying.
But there could be some bad blood panels by having extra
weight or just eating poor food choices consistently.
It doesn't matter how much you weigh, you could still get
diabetes because of the choice of food that you eat and put in
(12:47):
your mouth. That's really important.
So those are some of that that the main ones that I see a lot.
And for driven, busy men, is thetipping point when they say
enough is enough? Is it usually something that
confronts their own mortality, like a warning from the doctor?
I would say that ends up being aa big proprietor to getting
(13:10):
people to move in that direction.
The second one is the closest home fit.
Third one is that they see themselves in a picture that all
of a sudden, wow, that's not it.Or say they catch themselves at
the beach with the shirt on in ain a picture.
It's like this isn't the look. And another thing is that at
some point in life you end up inquotations, having it all right,
(13:34):
you, you're financially secure, you have your family, you have a
car, you have a house. You've acquired the say the
basics to the American dream. But then if you're living in a
body that can't support that effort, that can't keep up, that
can't stay productive, that you can't engage with your children
(13:55):
in a sense and go play with themand not get winded, that's a big
problem. And I think that one thing I
want to do is stop men from having midlife crisis at 42.
I understand it. There's so much responsibility
weighing on you that you taking care of yourself is the 1st and
most important thing. Don't, don't go buy a car.
(14:16):
You don't need another car. That's not, you don't need a
giant TV. You, you don't need a larger
house. You need the house that you're
living in needs to be whole. It needs to be energetic, it
needs to be well taken care of. Yeah, the American dream seems
to take our health for granted. Like that's never called out in
it. It's like I got all the stuff
right. It doesn't talk about.
(14:36):
How do you feel? Right.
There's a lot of empty people that have a lot of money.
So tell me about your program the the call to rise.
The call to rise is this cultivation of everything from
the experiences with my clients who take control of their health
and then have of course they change your body, but those
(14:56):
bigger outcomes of transformation in their life,
that's what this is about. So the call arise it's 100 day
program, it's a fat loss experience.
Really want to get away from sayinformation because we even you
are probably dealing with it, right.
AI is everywhere. You just ask AI for a meal plan
(15:18):
and a workout and that, but that's not going to create the
support. That's not creating the
connection. That's not creating the real
life human to human experience that we thrive off of because we
are human and staring at a screen 24/7 is not how humans
were meant to live. And unfortunately, it's the way
that our society has gone for better and we could say worse
(15:41):
too. So that's what it is. 100 days.
We're going to weekly challenges, quarterly
assessments is small court holdsof gentlemen to bond together.
The cord would be called the Brotherhood.
There are 5 pillars of the fuel,the forge, the call.
We've got the mindset, we've gotdifferent ways to connect and
(16:03):
make sure that the transformation definitely starts
in the body but then transpires into everything else.
So yes, we do nutrition, yes, wedo fitness and we do it in the
most fun, engaging way from fromthat.
That's called rise. And you mentioned the
Brotherhood, so there's really acommunity built around this.
(16:24):
And it's not just, you know, watching an exercise video from
home and figuring out how to go get yourself through it or.
Something no, there's millions of YouTube exercise videos.
Go watch those right? Even the clients that I work
with for years. You want you need a 20 minute
workout? Cool, let's just go find one on
YouTube that's a resource and a way to exercise and express
(16:47):
yourself. But I'm talking about connection
and that's something that I don't think a lot of men have to
be honest. I don't unless I'm purposely
seeking it out. And that's part of what our
connection is. I'm purposely seeking out more
connection with other men that are leading in the space and are
trying to do really good things.And I, I have 4 close friends,
(17:09):
they call them the Four Amigos and we all are founded in
fitness. We work out together and two of
them are from my high school running days.
Then Dan and Leo, I have Chris who works out in this barn with
me here. We worked out today is Friday,
so we worked out yesterday or noWednesday, We worked out
Wednesday and then Andy, Andy and I, we run, but we all have
(17:33):
multiple kids, three or more, three out of the four business
owners. And the exercise allows us to
have our connection piece, whichthen allows us to get deeper
into the onion, so to speak. So we actually have talk, we
have conversations about our family, about important things
to us, about our business life. And, and it's a really great
(17:56):
point to have closer people likethat that are trying to thrive
in their own right, because you're only as good as the five
closest people that you surroundyourself with.
We heard that from Tony Robbins forever and and having a network
like that is so important. Right.
And it's though it's centered around exercise, the
(18:18):
conversations are much deeper than what do you mention bro.
Certainly, certainly there's some fun jest and poking just
guys being guys and I can do more than you and things like
that. But it's not, it's, it's built
on healthy competition of where we, we, we go inward on it.
We're not trying to outdo each other.
You're just trying to outdo yourself to be honest.
(18:38):
And and then also we're not doing crazy hard things.
I just want you to do a little bit better than you did last
week because that's how you makeprogress that's how you create
momentum is 1% at a time that James clear method and the
atomic habit stuff, right 1% better.
And if we can do that everyday and we can make better choices
(19:00):
about what we put in our mouth and about how we move our bodies
and about how we drink our enough water and we get to sleep
on time and we actually connect with those people closest to
you, then your life is going to be whole.
It's going to be fruitful, it's going to be blessed.
And that's that's what I want tosee more men experiencing right
(19:20):
now than I, I truly think they are because a lot of
acquaintances that I come into and in this age range are they
might have the house, they mighthave the car, but they're when
it's Austin done. One, the conversations don't go
very deep. And then two, there's some
loneliness in a sense, there's alack of connection there.
(19:41):
They don't have that say, high school connection, A-Team like
mentality that that they they would probably do so much better
with. Yeah, I think guys long for
connection and community, but then guys are also taught that
you shouldn't long for anything.Right, right.
(20:01):
You can be the lone wolf. You can just do it on your own.
You can figure it out well, and here's a here's a kicker is say
that generally they're pretty successful in business.
They haven't figured it out on them.
They've hired help, they've hired out, they've gotten
mentors, they've gotten coaches,they've gotten, they've gotten
masterminds. They're paying money to be
(20:21):
surrounded by that type of that gross mindset.
But then in their own health, they just totally throw the baby
out with the bathwater. And it just doesn't need to be
that way. So if a man is listening right
now, feeling burnt down, disconnected, maybe he's
noticing in pictures that he's how he how he thought he looked
(20:42):
in the world is no longer accurate, right?
What's a first step? A first small step that you
would suggest. Right.
And consistency is where we're going to want to have as an
undertow. So let's assess one, what you're
putting in your mouth because that's going to have the biggest
change in your overall energy and appearance in the day and
(21:05):
you're going to notice it. When people come in to the
program and work with me, that'sthey get more energy within the
first week. They say I'm more energetic, I'm
feeling better, less digestion issues and I'm not trying to
fall asleep at 3:00. I can think clearly.
We want to have just basic tips like everyone knows how to eat
(21:26):
healthy, but they don't. And then that's another thing is
just do the things that you knowyou should be doing.
And, and that's where we create some accountability.
But say nutrition, we need to have some lean protein when you
have some vegetables or some fruit and, or, and then some
starchy carb in a reasonable portion For men, if they're
eating anywhere from a 500 to 700 calorie meal, they're going
(21:50):
to be full enough to get them tothe next time they're going to
eat again, it's going to give them energy.
It's going to balance out their blood sugar levels.
So they're going to get adequateamounts of protein.
They're not going to have digestion issues and they're
going to feel good. And, and, but that's the easy
part. It's the how do I be prepared
and how do I plan for this? Or how do I manage client meals
(22:12):
and the, the pizza night that the family wants or even last
night we ended up having an impromptu fire that we had the
hot dogs and the s'mores and, and all this stuff.
So how do I participate with my family but still take care of my
health and have the, the look tofeel that I want to.
And those are the say, taking care of yourself is simple, but
(22:33):
it's not easy. And those are the not so easy
parts to to try and figure out. It's what we do.
So your husband, a coach, a father to four.
So how? How do you balance your health
and spending time with family and serving clients?
That's the the $1,000,000 question here, right?
(22:55):
I don't always, right. They're different seasons of
life where we can focus on different areas and then we just
need to make sure there's a little bit of balance so you can
just go all in for weeks on end or even days on end and and work
and just ignore everything else because then that part of your
life will spiral out. A couple things.
(23:16):
One is for me, the schedule is so important.
My wife and I, it's my job. I, I do my best.
I'm a human, so I'm not going totell you I'm perfect.
And I think that's false advertising for sure.
But we try and have a nightly meeting where we connect and we
talk about what we're doing and who's going where and what's
happening. We spend time walking the dog to
(23:39):
connect. And she's an entrepreneur and
owns her own travel business as well.
She takes people on bucket list trips that they want to go on
but don't know how to do it. That's what she does and we
connect there or we spend our time while our whole family
walks the dog or we go travel orwe do these things so we we can
(23:59):
spend these really powerful. What my wife likes refer to
Amber is her name referred to asbuilding core memories.
So we do really throwing things like it literally dropped her
off at the airport a couple about two hours ago to take my
daughter on the mom and me middle school trip that my wife
created. And she's taking all the older
(24:19):
boys, the three older boys, boyson a adventure, just her and
them individually to Disney, to Universal Studios, to something
where they're able to spend timetogether.
So we do those really impactful things and then we then create a
lot of opportunity for our kids to, to, to connect.
(24:40):
So we're, we're constantly juggling who's driving where and
what. And it can be crazy chaos in a
sense, but usually something is getting dropped in a sense.
And try not to let it be family most importantly and usually say
it's business. So should I say make that social
media post? Should I write that article?
(25:02):
Should I add another 5 emails tomy e-mail automations and stuff
to go out? Or how do I keep prioritizing
that stuff? And when it's all said and done,
family first is going to be mostimportant.
So there you go. Long answer for I don't got it
figured out just yet. I look at the schedule often and
(25:24):
try and do my best that should Ibe doing this thing or should I
be doing that thing because one of them is going to get
sacrificed. Do you still enjoy exercise?
Yes, yes. Now, am I going to work out by
myself? Technically, I'm probably going
to find something else to do because there is an ever landing
honey, do list, a business list,a kid list or all the things,
(25:48):
right? I will do it if every say 3 or 4
days, if I were to go that long without exercising.
And then I get this itch. I got to work out.
I got to do that. And it's just ingrained in me
because it's part of my behavioras a human.
It's part of my identity. I schedule time with my buddies
to work out, and that's probablythe most important thing.
So I'm scheduling time with my wife to walk because I know she
(26:09):
wants to talk to me so we can move and we can walk and, and,
and connect that way. And then I connect with my
buddies because if they're showing up, I'm showing up too
and I'm bringing the heat. We don't lift the same weights
or whatever, but we just come inhere and we again, this barn
that I'm in, we just hoot and holler and work out and, and,
and just be, I guess boys again and just really enjoy that
(26:33):
experience together. And so scheduling time for
exercise is how I get it done. And I don't know, I'm not always
motivated. Sometimes I just have to do it
anyways because it's something that has to get done.
You've mentioned self leadershipin the past too.
So is that kind of doing what needs to be done and and owning
(26:55):
that and taking that responsibility?
Right. Well, as a man, as the
breadwinner, as the patriarch, as the father, as the leader in
a sense of even say my clients, I have to assume the role in the
position and do the tasks that are required to get me to be
(27:18):
that person. I can't just show up and hope
that I'm that person. You're only that person by doing
the actions on repeat to then beable to create the inner belief
that you are that person to thengo exhibit those things or learn
the skills or show others and, and guide them and, and give
them inspiration or encouragement or empathy or
(27:41):
sympathy and, and all sorts of ease that can come up in the
process of being able to connectwith someone so that they get
better, they get healthier, theyare happier in a sense.
Ryan, what's one thing that you wish more men knew?
I wish more men knew that it's OK to love themselves, it's OK
(28:04):
to be open, it's OK to be vulnerable, it's OK to express
themselves and. And often times they just close
up and they don't know how to todo any of that and.
Brian, what's the best place forlisteners to go to learn more
about you and all your offering?Yeah, the the call to rise.com
(28:26):
is the website and they have a freebie on there.
It's a three day fat loss protocol.
You don't want to get up with the the 100 days.
Then we can start with history. It's the the Rise 72.
It's it's a step by step guide to tell exactly what to do with
your nutrition, what to do with your exercise and to give you
some extra productivity and focus type things to work on.
(28:51):
You can find me at Coach Brian Piranha on all the socials.
Brian, thanks for your time today thanks for all you're
doing to help other men live better longer lives it it's my
belief that the world needs is more happy, healthy men to make
it a better place for all of. US 1000%.
I agree with that too. Big thanks to Brian for bringing
so much wisdom, and this is sucha strong reminder that self-care
(29:13):
isn't selfish, it's a gift to the people who count on us.
And remember, if you want to keep having the real
conversations with other men committed to showing up fully in
life, join us in the authentic AF community at
realmenfield.org/group. It is free and it's where we can
keep this conversation going. Until next time, be good to
(29:33):
yourself.
When we are taking care of ourselves, it is selfless,
right? You have to take care of
yourself before you can take care of others.
Put the airplane, ask on first before you can help anyone else.
Those are always the rules and we always want to put it on
others. But then you're left fatigued,
(00:20):
You can't think clearly, you're not making good decisions, and
therefore you're not actually caring for the people around you
as best you you actually really can.
Hello and welcome to Real Men Feel.
The podcast reminds men that they're human beings, and that's
OK. I'm your host, Andy Grant.
Today's guest believes that the most selfless thing a man can do
for the people he loves is take better care of himself.
(00:43):
I'm joined by Coach Brian Purana, a health coach, husband,
father of four, and former CrossFit gym owner who's helped
thousands of men transform theirhealth and their lives.
Brian's not about fad diets or quick fixes.
He blends science, back strategies, radical
accountability, and a brotherhood of support to help
men reclaim their energy, confidence, and leadership at
(01:05):
home and at work. If you've ever felt guilty for
taking time for yourself, or you've told yourself you'll get
healthy when life slows down, this conversation is the wake up
call you need. If you're looking for a space to
connect with other men on this journey of authenticity and
growth, join us in the AuthenticAF community at
realmenfield.org/group. It's free and it's for you.
(01:27):
Let's do it. Hello, Brian, and welcome to
Real Men Field. Hi, Andy.
Thanks for having me. So appreciate it.
So you've been in health and fitness for your entire career.
Personal training, owning gyms and now coaching.
What first drew you into fitness?
I like to say it was, it was Rocky Balboa.
(01:48):
Funny enough, the training montages when the music starts
going and it's just like, oh, that is what really got me
interested and excited about just exercise.
I played sports. I did baseball and basketball.
I couldn't really catch anythingreally.
Well, I, I quickly moved on fromthat to my, my friend, high
(02:10):
school friend, and I actually saw him in the last week, Dan,
he actually invited me out to gorun track.
And that started really getting into the exercise be old and the
training and the exercise. I'd wake up early and we'd train
on the weekends. And it's just evolved from such
(02:32):
a a young early age basically. And has your approach to health
and self-care changed since Rocky?
In general, no. I work out multiple times a
week. I try to eat healthy.
Today we had some tilapia with some corn and some sweet potato
(02:53):
fries. That was dinner we just got done
eating. I drink lots of water.
Actually have my my water here. So this is 40 oz container.
Try and get at least 2 for sure.More likely 3:00 every single
day. And I do my best with sleep.
If if I were to have an Achillesheel, that usually is sleep and
(03:13):
that gets sacrificed for career,it gets sacrificed for exercise,
it gets for family, all sorts ofthings.
So. So there are two great stressors
in life that that people choose to undertake. 1 is
entrepreneurship and one is relationships, and you've known
(03:35):
your wife since high school, so I wonder if you have any secrets
to making both those things work?
Oh, I, I wish I did. 1 is being persistent and wanting to make
sure that the relationship worksright.
I and she, we both came from from divorced parents and we
understand what that looks like and feels like.
(03:57):
And we have, we have 4 kids. We don't want to repeat that.
And so there's a committed consistency that we want to have
for our relationship to be thereand be together for them quite a
bit. And I, I still really enjoy her
company. She makes me laugh and we, we
(04:20):
travel a lot. We've, we've done all 50 states,
multiple countries, continent. She's the traveller and I get
guilt by association and get to out with her quite a bit.
And that's something that has I probably wouldn't have done, not
even remotely to the level that my my mom and and family, We
used to just go to Myrtle Beach on repeat it felt like for many
(04:43):
years. But we've been all over the
place now as a result of Amber'sdesire to travel and explore the
world. There's something you say that I
really love and resonate with, and it's that men taking care of
themselves is one of the most selfless things they can do.
Right. Could.
Can you expand on that? Yeah.
(05:04):
Definitely, Andy, when we are taking care of ourselves, it is
selfless, right? You have to take care of
yourself before you can take care of others.
Put the airplane. Ask on first before you can help
anyone else. Those are always the rules and
we always want to put it on others.
But then you're left fatigued. You're left you can't think
(05:27):
clearly. You're not making good decisions
and therefore you don't. You're not actually caring for
the people around you as best you you actually really can.
A lot of guys have been taught that not to put themselves 1st
and perhaps they feel guilty fordoing so.
How do you help someone reframe their mindset if that's the case
(05:48):
for? Them yeah, I I love that reframe
word. And whenever I'm talking with
anyone, I am jumping into what their why is why is this
important to take care of yourself at some point?
Usually in my experience, unfortunately, people come to me
in some of the worst health thatyou've been in.
Like Brian, I need some help. Now, most people aren't knocking
(06:10):
on my door, probably in yours too, right there.
There's some sort of issues thatare going on when they start to
show up to find, troubleshoot, problem solved and overcome
those things. And I have to understand why is
it important for someone to better their health to start
paying attention to the food they eat and and move their
body? Because the lack of doing that
(06:32):
has caused them to move in the direction that they don't want
to experience anymore. And we know unfortunately, 40%
of Americans are overweight or obese.
It's moving in that direction. And poor health assisted living
centers is big pharma. We have so much around people
(06:54):
just getting sick. Prevention is a cure.
And if we can take care of ourselves first, not just even
if you want to think about it from a lighter thought is you're
actually going to save money by taking care of yourself because
of the added extra healthcare expenses or insurance or even
(07:15):
think about the time. How often do you want to
actually go to the doctor? Andy you probably never really
want to go to the doctor, right?It's not not the first place you
want to mark off on your calendar to, to go visit and and
therefore, if we take care of ourselves, we can greatly reduce
our our exposure and likeliness of having a diseased state in
(07:36):
our body and our mind because they're interlinked.
What sort of changes have you seen in men's lives when they do
finally focus on their own health?
I, I actually reconnected with an old client.
This was pre COVID that we started working together and he
said I want to lose weight, get in better shape and and all
(07:57):
that. And Mike was his name and I
reconnected with him just literally in the last few weeks
because I'm, I'm just really getting out and eating out of
the trenches in a sense. I've just been so head deep and
working individually one-on-one with people.
And this is the podcast coming out and exploring this.
So I reached out to him and connected and he said, hey, I'd
(08:18):
be happy to get on call, but I have something else to tell.
You said, oh, you're leaving me in suspense, aren't you?
And we got on the call. He said, Brian, when we were
working together, I met a girl who's now my fiance and we're
actually getting married in August, literally in this month
that we're in right now. And that is why I do what I do.
(08:41):
That's what I'm after. I've had so many stories that
Drake is another one. Drake came to me 270.
He was a crazy successful careermanaging lots of zeros and an
architect firm in Tennessee. But his blood pressure was so
high, the doctor was threateninghim that you're going on meds
(09:04):
ASAP. And he said give me give me a
couple weeks to try and solve this.
This guy just launched because he knew he was a walking heart
attack and he changed his lifestyle.
He changed what he thought. He changed his career.
He actually exited his career. He sold off his Shelby GT
Mustang that he was driving around in because I asked him a
(09:25):
question, do you even like that car?
And he said actually, Brian, I don't I'm not sure why I'm
driving it. And the guy sold it off within a
week and got up and up 150 because that's the type of guy
he is. And that it just became
congruent lifestyle around who he was and what he is about.
And he was able to express that through taking better care of
(09:48):
himself. And those are just two of
countless stories of even doctors saying they, they look
at you, my, my client, what haveyou done?
This is great. I barely recognize you or your,
your blood panels are so much better than they were.
Maybe we don't have to be diabetic or we don't have to
worry about heart disease reallyin a sense and and just amazing
(10:13):
stories like that or, or why I do it and keep doing it.
What are some of the most commonexcuses or obstacles that men
will talk about for not taking better care of themselves?
One, men fall in the old adage of never asking for directions.
I think you probably experiencedthat with in a lot of your work
(10:34):
as well, right? The men don't want to ask for
help. And I think that is an old
fallacy that we don't have to continue.
Men's health, especially mental health, has been talked about
more and more throughout the last, say, 1520 years.
And it's OK. I, I, I have a coach, I like
being guided, I like being supported.
(10:55):
I'm in your community. I, I like being connected to
other men even, but one, just even going back to my story of
my father was there in my youth,but not so much recently and
more absent in the last, you know, 15 to 20 years that that
(11:15):
impacts me. I don't have the manual to being
a good husband. I don't have the manual to being
a good father. And I'm a constantly assessing
the landscape of who are good role models or what should I be
doing and, and all that. And that, that really helps me
guide. So men, you're allowed to ask
for help. So that's number one.
And then number 2 is I'm too busy.
(11:39):
BUSY. That's the number one excuse I
hear from everyone. Or I'm going to do it tomorrow.
Tomorrow never comes. These are inherent delays that
people want to put off because they just don't want to take
responsibility. Life is lifing.
You have to accept what's going around around you.
(12:00):
And if you don't like it, you can change it, especially your
health. And that's the most important
place to start, especially if things feel out of control or
swirling around. And I say this, and I think this
is your body can be a reflectionof what's going on inside or in
turn in in your world. And you don't have to say that
(12:22):
just because you're overweight, you're say lazy or your your
home life is bad or something. That's not what I'm implying.
But there could be some bad blood panels by having extra
weight or just eating poor food choices consistently.
It doesn't matter how much you weigh, you could still get
diabetes because of the choice of food that you eat and put in
(12:47):
your mouth. That's really important.
So those are some of that that the main ones that I see a lot.
And for driven, busy men, is thetipping point when they say
enough is enough? Is it usually something that
confronts their own mortality, like a warning from the doctor?
I would say that ends up being aa big proprietor to getting
(13:10):
people to move in that direction.
The second one is the closest home fit.
Third one is that they see themselves in a picture that all
of a sudden, wow, that's not it.Or say they catch themselves at
the beach with the shirt on in ain a picture.
It's like this isn't the look. And another thing is that at
some point in life you end up inquotations, having it all right,
(13:34):
you, you're financially secure, you have your family, you have a
car, you have a house. You've acquired the say the
basics to the American dream. But then if you're living in a
body that can't support that effort, that can't keep up, that
can't stay productive, that you can't engage with your children
(13:55):
in a sense and go play with themand not get winded, that's a big
problem. And I think that one thing I
want to do is stop men from having midlife crisis at 42.
I understand it. There's so much responsibility
weighing on you that you taking care of yourself is the 1st and
most important thing. Don't, don't go buy a car.
(14:16):
You don't need another car. That's not, you don't need a
giant TV. You, you don't need a larger
house. You need the house that you're
living in needs to be whole. It needs to be energetic, it
needs to be well taken care of. Yeah, the American dream seems
to take our health for granted. Like that's never called out in
it. It's like I got all the stuff
right. It doesn't talk about.
(14:36):
How do you feel? Right.
There's a lot of empty people that have a lot of money.
So tell me about your program the the call to rise.
The call to rise is this cultivation of everything from
the experiences with my clients who take control of their health
and then have of course they change your body, but those
(14:56):
bigger outcomes of transformation in their life,
that's what this is about. So the call arise it's 100 day
program, it's a fat loss experience.
Really want to get away from sayinformation because we even you
are probably dealing with it, right.
AI is everywhere. You just ask AI for a meal plan
(15:18):
and a workout and that, but that's not going to create the
support. That's not creating the
connection. That's not creating the real
life human to human experience that we thrive off of because we
are human and staring at a screen 24/7 is not how humans
were meant to live. And unfortunately, it's the way
that our society has gone for better and we could say worse
(15:41):
too. So that's what it is. 100 days.
We're going to weekly challenges, quarterly
assessments is small court holdsof gentlemen to bond together.
The cord would be called the Brotherhood.
There are 5 pillars of the fuel,the forge, the call.
We've got the mindset, we've gotdifferent ways to connect and
(16:03):
make sure that the transformation definitely starts
in the body but then transpires into everything else.
So yes, we do nutrition, yes, wedo fitness and we do it in the
most fun, engaging way from fromthat.
That's called rise. And you mentioned the
Brotherhood, so there's really acommunity built around this.
(16:24):
And it's not just, you know, watching an exercise video from
home and figuring out how to go get yourself through it or.
Something no, there's millions of YouTube exercise videos.
Go watch those right? Even the clients that I work
with for years. You want you need a 20 minute
workout? Cool, let's just go find one on
YouTube that's a resource and a way to exercise and express
(16:47):
yourself. But I'm talking about connection
and that's something that I don't think a lot of men have to
be honest. I don't unless I'm purposely
seeking it out. And that's part of what our
connection is. I'm purposely seeking out more
connection with other men that are leading in the space and are
trying to do really good things.And I, I have 4 close friends,
(17:09):
they call them the Four Amigos and we all are founded in
fitness. We work out together and two of
them are from my high school running days.
Then Dan and Leo, I have Chris who works out in this barn with
me here. We worked out today is Friday,
so we worked out yesterday or noWednesday, We worked out
Wednesday and then Andy, Andy and I, we run, but we all have
(17:33):
multiple kids, three or more, three out of the four business
owners. And the exercise allows us to
have our connection piece, whichthen allows us to get deeper
into the onion, so to speak. So we actually have talk, we
have conversations about our family, about important things
to us, about our business life. And, and it's a really great
(17:56):
point to have closer people likethat that are trying to thrive
in their own right, because you're only as good as the five
closest people that you surroundyourself with.
We heard that from Tony Robbins forever and and having a network
like that is so important. Right.
And it's though it's centered around exercise, the
(18:18):
conversations are much deeper than what do you mention bro.
Certainly, certainly there's some fun jest and poking just
guys being guys and I can do more than you and things like
that. But it's not, it's, it's built
on healthy competition of where we, we, we go inward on it.
We're not trying to outdo each other.
You're just trying to outdo yourself to be honest.
(18:38):
And and then also we're not doing crazy hard things.
I just want you to do a little bit better than you did last
week because that's how you makeprogress that's how you create
momentum is 1% at a time that James clear method and the
atomic habit stuff, right 1% better.
And if we can do that everyday and we can make better choices
(19:00):
about what we put in our mouth and about how we move our bodies
and about how we drink our enough water and we get to sleep
on time and we actually connect with those people closest to
you, then your life is going to be whole.
It's going to be fruitful, it's going to be blessed.
And that's that's what I want tosee more men experiencing right
(19:20):
now than I, I truly think they are because a lot of
acquaintances that I come into and in this age range are they
might have the house, they mighthave the car, but they're when
it's Austin done. One, the conversations don't go
very deep. And then two, there's some
loneliness in a sense, there's alack of connection there.
(19:41):
They don't have that say, high school connection, A-Team like
mentality that that they they would probably do so much better
with. Yeah, I think guys long for
connection and community, but then guys are also taught that
you shouldn't long for anything.Right, right.
(20:01):
You can be the lone wolf. You can just do it on your own.
You can figure it out well, and here's a here's a kicker is say
that generally they're pretty successful in business.
They haven't figured it out on them.
They've hired help, they've hired out, they've gotten
mentors, they've gotten coaches,they've gotten, they've gotten
masterminds. They're paying money to be
(20:21):
surrounded by that type of that gross mindset.
But then in their own health, they just totally throw the baby
out with the bathwater. And it just doesn't need to be
that way. So if a man is listening right
now, feeling burnt down, disconnected, maybe he's
noticing in pictures that he's how he how he thought he looked
(20:42):
in the world is no longer accurate, right?
What's a first step? A first small step that you
would suggest. Right.
And consistency is where we're going to want to have as an
undertow. So let's assess one, what you're
putting in your mouth because that's going to have the biggest
change in your overall energy and appearance in the day and
(21:05):
you're going to notice it. When people come in to the
program and work with me, that'sthey get more energy within the
first week. They say I'm more energetic, I'm
feeling better, less digestion issues and I'm not trying to
fall asleep at 3:00. I can think clearly.
We want to have just basic tips like everyone knows how to eat
(21:26):
healthy, but they don't. And then that's another thing is
just do the things that you knowyou should be doing.
And, and that's where we create some accountability.
But say nutrition, we need to have some lean protein when you
have some vegetables or some fruit and, or, and then some
starchy carb in a reasonable portion For men, if they're
eating anywhere from a 500 to 700 calorie meal, they're going
(21:50):
to be full enough to get them tothe next time they're going to
eat again, it's going to give them energy.
It's going to balance out their blood sugar levels.
So they're going to get adequateamounts of protein.
They're not going to have digestion issues and they're
going to feel good. And, and, but that's the easy
part. It's the how do I be prepared
and how do I plan for this? Or how do I manage client meals
(22:12):
and the, the pizza night that the family wants or even last
night we ended up having an impromptu fire that we had the
hot dogs and the s'mores and, and all this stuff.
So how do I participate with my family but still take care of my
health and have the, the look tofeel that I want to.
And those are the say, taking care of yourself is simple, but
(22:33):
it's not easy. And those are the not so easy
parts to to try and figure out. It's what we do.
So your husband, a coach, a father to four.
So how? How do you balance your health
and spending time with family and serving clients?
That's the the $1,000,000 question here, right?
(22:55):
I don't always, right. They're different seasons of
life where we can focus on different areas and then we just
need to make sure there's a little bit of balance so you can
just go all in for weeks on end or even days on end and and work
and just ignore everything else because then that part of your
life will spiral out. A couple things.
(23:16):
One is for me, the schedule is so important.
My wife and I, it's my job. I, I do my best.
I'm a human, so I'm not going totell you I'm perfect.
And I think that's false advertising for sure.
But we try and have a nightly meeting where we connect and we
talk about what we're doing and who's going where and what's
happening. We spend time walking the dog to
(23:39):
connect. And she's an entrepreneur and
owns her own travel business as well.
She takes people on bucket list trips that they want to go on
but don't know how to do it. That's what she does and we
connect there or we spend our time while our whole family
walks the dog or we go travel orwe do these things so we we can
(23:59):
spend these really powerful. What my wife likes refer to
Amber is her name referred to asbuilding core memories.
So we do really throwing things like it literally dropped her
off at the airport a couple about two hours ago to take my
daughter on the mom and me middle school trip that my wife
created. And she's taking all the older
(24:19):
boys, the three older boys, boyson a adventure, just her and
them individually to Disney, to Universal Studios, to something
where they're able to spend timetogether.
So we do those really impactful things and then we then create a
lot of opportunity for our kids to, to, to connect.
(24:40):
So we're, we're constantly juggling who's driving where and
what. And it can be crazy chaos in a
sense, but usually something is getting dropped in a sense.
And try not to let it be family most importantly and usually say
it's business. So should I say make that social
media post? Should I write that article?
(25:02):
Should I add another 5 emails tomy e-mail automations and stuff
to go out? Or how do I keep prioritizing
that stuff? And when it's all said and done,
family first is going to be mostimportant.
So there you go. Long answer for I don't got it
figured out just yet. I look at the schedule often and
(25:24):
try and do my best that should Ibe doing this thing or should I
be doing that thing because one of them is going to get
sacrificed. Do you still enjoy exercise?
Yes, yes. Now, am I going to work out by
myself? Technically, I'm probably going
to find something else to do because there is an ever landing
honey, do list, a business list,a kid list or all the things,
(25:48):
right? I will do it if every say 3 or 4
days, if I were to go that long without exercising.
And then I get this itch. I got to work out.
I got to do that. And it's just ingrained in me
because it's part of my behavioras a human.
It's part of my identity. I schedule time with my buddies
to work out, and that's probablythe most important thing.
So I'm scheduling time with my wife to walk because I know she
(26:09):
wants to talk to me so we can move and we can walk and, and,
and connect that way. And then I connect with my
buddies because if they're showing up, I'm showing up too
and I'm bringing the heat. We don't lift the same weights
or whatever, but we just come inhere and we again, this barn
that I'm in, we just hoot and holler and work out and, and,
and just be, I guess boys again and just really enjoy that
(26:33):
experience together. And so scheduling time for
exercise is how I get it done. And I don't know, I'm not always
motivated. Sometimes I just have to do it
anyways because it's something that has to get done.
You've mentioned self leadershipin the past too.
So is that kind of doing what needs to be done and and owning
(26:55):
that and taking that responsibility?
Right. Well, as a man, as the
breadwinner, as the patriarch, as the father, as the leader in
a sense of even say my clients, I have to assume the role in the
position and do the tasks that are required to get me to be
(27:18):
that person. I can't just show up and hope
that I'm that person. You're only that person by doing
the actions on repeat to then beable to create the inner belief
that you are that person to thengo exhibit those things or learn
the skills or show others and, and guide them and, and give
them inspiration or encouragement or empathy or
(27:41):
sympathy and, and all sorts of ease that can come up in the
process of being able to connectwith someone so that they get
better, they get healthier, theyare happier in a sense.
Ryan, what's one thing that you wish more men knew?
I wish more men knew that it's OK to love themselves, it's OK
(28:04):
to be open, it's OK to be vulnerable, it's OK to express
themselves and. And often times they just close
up and they don't know how to todo any of that and.
Brian, what's the best place forlisteners to go to learn more
about you and all your offering?Yeah, the the call to rise.com
(28:26):
is the website and they have a freebie on there.
It's a three day fat loss protocol.
You don't want to get up with the the 100 days.
Then we can start with history. It's the the Rise 72.
It's it's a step by step guide to tell exactly what to do with
your nutrition, what to do with your exercise and to give you
some extra productivity and focus type things to work on.
(28:51):
You can find me at Coach Brian Piranha on all the socials.
Brian, thanks for your time today thanks for all you're
doing to help other men live better longer lives it it's my
belief that the world needs is more happy, healthy men to make
it a better place for all of. US 1000%.
I agree with that too. Big thanks to Brian for bringing
so much wisdom, and this is sucha strong reminder that self-care
(29:13):
isn't selfish, it's a gift to the people who count on us.
And remember, if you want to keep having the real
conversations with other men committed to showing up fully in
life, join us in the authentic AF community at
realmenfield.org/group. It is free and it's where we can
keep this conversation going. Until next time, be good to
(29:33):
yourself.
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Cardiac Cowboys
The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.