June 1, 2025 • 23 mins
We explore why planning intentional moments of joy is essential for mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing, and how the anticipation effect can boost our happiness even before events occur.
• The "anticipation effect" shows that looking forward to something can improve our mood and wellbeing before the event even happens
• Joy isn't a luxury but a necessity that strengthens us and sustains us through difficult seasons
• Practical ways to plan joy include putting it on your calendar, creating a joy list, planning joyful milestones, and celebrating small wins
• Challenge yourself to plan one thing today that will bring you joy
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome and thanks for tuning in.
To Real People, real Talk,relevant conversations that take
you from surviving to thriving.
This is the podcast that goesthere.
My name is Paul Calco and I'myour host.
Now let's talk.
Well, hello, thriver, and thankyou so much for tuning in today
(00:34):
.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
We're really glad you're here today, because we're
diving into something that'ssimple on the surface but has
the power to transform how weexperience life.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Today, we want to discuss something that can
positively contribute to yourmental and emotional health,
which is planning your joy.
Now, I know, just hearing thatphrase it may sound a bit
unusual, but here's how the idea, the notion of planning your
joy it's the thing that we wantto talk about.
We're so used to planning ourwork schedules.
We plan our meetings, we planour errands, we plan our
(01:06):
responsibilities, but how oftendo we take the time to be
intentional and plan for joy?
How often do we just carve outthat time that really refreshes
our soul, makes us smile andfills us with anticipation?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Here's the thing Joy isn't something that just
happens to us.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
There are spontaneous moments of happiness that
surprise us along the way, but alot of our joy comes from what
we create, what we nurture and,yes, what we plan.
Here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Joy isn't just due to what we nurture.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I figured out in post okay, but a lot of our joy
comes from what we create, whatwe nurture and, yes, what we
plan exactly so.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Today, we want to explore why planning your joy
matters, how it impacts yourmental health, your emotional
health and your spiritualwell-being as well, and of we're
going to get it practical andgive you some ways that you can
make this a regular part of yourlife.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
First of all, let's discuss the power of
anticipation.
Did you know that simplylooking forward to something can
boost your mood and well-being?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
As a matter of fact, I did know that, in fact,
psychologists call this theanticipation effect.
The excitement, the joy, thepositive feelings that you
experience even before an eventcan be just as powerful as the
event itself.
Think about it like this Isn'thalf of the fun of a vacation.
Take two Think about it likethis Isn't half of the fun of a
(02:43):
vacation?
The countdown leading up to it,or the excitement that you may
feel the night before a specialcelebration?
I reckon so.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Hmm, there's actually research to back this up.
A study published in thejournal Applied Research in
Quality of Life found thatpeople are happiest when they
have a vacation plan during thevacation itself, but in the
weeks leading up to it.
Why?
Because having something tolook forward to gives us a
(03:10):
mental boost.
It's like having a bright spoton the horizon, even when the
present moment feels heavy and Ican testify to this my wife and
I.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
We travel here and there throughout the year, but
primarily during the summer.
As you may know, my wife is ateacher and the school year just
ended, and so we have somethings to look forward to and
planning.
And we're actually going to doour annual two week vacation in
July.
And even though this trip won'toccur to a month later, at
least at the time of this report, at least at the time of this
(03:42):
recording that was take two.
I am super pumped right here,right now, just anticipating it.
I've actually already startedpacking for the trip.
I'm ready man.
Proverbs 13 12 says um, take two.
Proverbs 13 12 captures theanticipation effect quite
beautifully when it says hopedeferred makes the heart sick,
(04:03):
but desire fulfilled is a treeof life.
And one more thing I had to addto that before I go to eBay.
Like I said, I've alreadystarted planning, already
started packing, because we'regoing on the road trip.
So I got some napkins for thecar, some hand sanitizer.
I already planning out thethings we're going to do in each
of the cities.
And right now, even though thattrip, once again, it's not till
July, I'm experiencing some ofthat joy now.
(04:24):
So once again, just want togive you a real live example of
this anticipation effect.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, I get that, and when we have nothing to look
forward to, it can feel like ourhearts are weary, weighed down
by routine and responsibilities.
Adulting hashtag, adultinghashtag.
Adulting yeah, um, but whenyou're looking ahead to
something meaningful, no matterhow small, it gives us energy,
motivation and hope amen to thatamen.
(04:53):
Point number two joy is not aluxury, it's a necessity yeah,
let's address this commonmisconception.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
We often treat joy like it's something extra, like
it's only Take two.
We often treat joy like it'ssomething extra, like it's only
for the weekends, only forvacations, only for special
occasions.
But that's not how we'redesigned to live.
We were created for joy, andit's not just a fleeting.
It's not how we're designed tolive.
(05:25):
We were created for joy, andit's not just a fleeting.
It's not take two, it's notjust a fleeting emotion it's a
vital part of a healthy andthriving life amen, I mean.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
In nehemiah 8, 10, we read the joy of the lord is
your strength read that one moretime, babe it says the joy of
the lord is your strength noticethe tense there.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
It doesn't say oh no, that's not what I'm trying to
say.
Okay, take two.
Notice that.
It doesn't say the business ofyour schedule is your strength.
It doesn't say the number oftasks that you complete is your
strength.
It's joy.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Joy is your strength, joy, joy, joy.
Come on now.
I mean joy strengthens us, itsustains us, it helps us endure
difficult seasons, because itreminds us that even in the
midst of challenges, beauty canbe found.
Joy isn't about ignoring life'sdifficulties.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
It's about finding light in the midst of them
exactly like, no matter whatseason you may be going through
now.
You can find some joy there,because joy of the lord is your
strength and planning your joy.
It doesn't mean that everymoment of your life has to be
grand or luxurious or instagramworthy.
If you will, it can be assimple as a walk in the park
(06:44):
with your favorite playlistblasting in your AirPods.
It could be a cozy evening witha good book and a cup of tea.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
It can be a candlelit bubble bath which is one of my
favorites.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Throwing a couple of bath bombs and you got it
rocking.
Right there it could be eatingyour favorite meal.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yes, seafood, it could be.
Oh, I'm sorry, it could beparticipating in your favorite
meal.
Yes, seafood, it could be.
Oh, I'm sorry, it could beparticipating in your favorite
hobby.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
And I can speak to this and I've mentioned this a
couple times on the podcast, butI look forward to playing
basketball every Thursday.
All right, so that gives mesomething in the middle of the
week or towards the end, but itgives me something in the week
to look forward to.
I also look forward tocouponing on the weekend um,
dollar general on Saturdays theygot that five dollar off 25 and
(07:30):
then Walgreens on Sunday.
So just some simple things thatI have scattered throughout the
week to look forward to, thusplanning my joy.
And it has been a positive um.
It has really positivelyaffected me from an emotional
and you you know mental point ofview.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, I get that.
Now I really need to find onemore thing.
I think that I can plan, sothat I can plan my joy.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Because, you know, I do a lot of work, and even
though one of my quote-unquotejobs I do love to do and it's
something that I have a passionabout, and so that does bring me
joy, I still need to findsomething else outside of
volleyball, um that I can playmy joy around.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Thank you, babe yeah, definitely another thing I do
like on my off day, on friday, Ilook forward to making a fresh
cup of coffee and just goingoutside get some fresh air, get
some sunlight on the gazebo,drinking my coffee and reading
god's word.
Once again, it's the littlethings and it's not about what
you do necessarily.
It's about intentionallycreating the space for things
(08:41):
that make your heart feel alive.
So hear me, hear us and hear us.
Well, I want to encourage youto discover or rediscover those
things that make you smile.
Discover and rediscover alsothose things that bring you joy.
Then go add those things toyour calendar and to your to-do
(09:02):
list.
Now for point number three, thespiritual side of joy.
You want to take it a stepdeeper, a step further, because
joy isn't just a psychologicalor emotional experience, it's a
spiritual one as well.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yes, yes, it is.
Psalm 1611 says you make knownto me the path of life.
In your presence there isfullness of joy.
At your right hand there arepleasures forevermore.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
In your presence, there is the fullness of joy.
I'm all about having fun, I'mall about planning fun
activities and planning your joy.
But at the end of the day, orat the very beginning of things,
joy begins with the Lord.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I just said that I knew I was going to say that.
Yes, have fun.
Yes, plan your joy, but true,lasting joy Comes from a
personal relationship with JesusChrist.
You can plan the best day ever,have all of your favorites, but
if you leave God out.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
You want to experience real lasting joy so
true, as joy is deeply connectedto God's presence for For sure.
It's not just about externalcircumstances, it's about
internal posture of the heart.
And here's a beautiful thingwhen we plan for joy, we
actually are honoring the lifeof God, the life that God has
(10:28):
given us.
We're saying God, I see thebeauty in what you've created
and I'm going to pause anddelight in it.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Amen.
Ecclesiastes, chapter 3, verses12 through 13.
13 reminds us of this.
I perceive that nothing isbetter for them than to be
joyful and to do good as long asthey live.
Also, that everyone should eat,drink and take pleasure in his
toil.
This is god's gift to man.
Did you catch that, my friend?
Joy is a gift from god and,like any gift, we're meant to
(11:00):
receive it.
Open it up and enjoy it, andnot just leave it sitting on the
shelf I wouldn't leave a personsitting around exactly.
So there's this joy that we'retalking about.
It's available to you, justgotta tap into it that's good.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Point number four practical ways to plan your joy
all right, we're going to breakthis down because we're not
going to be here long, but we'regoing to break this down and
get practical.
How do we actually plan our joy?
This would give you someexamples from our personal lives
, um that you could use later on.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
So, once again, some actionable steps that you can
start today yeah, and like paulsaid earlier, um, but let me say
again, for further emphasis,put joy on the calendar.
Calendar I'm gonna go again.
Take two, like paul said before.
Let me say it again for furtheremphasis Put joy on the
(11:58):
calendar.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Literally.
Don't just think oh, I'll relaxwhen I have time.
Schedule it.
Block out time for things thatmake you happy, whether it's a
hobby, whether it's a coffeedate or even just a quiet moment
of reflection like that bubblebath, but block out the time
yeah, man, I don't know who thisis for, but, like, when was the
(12:21):
last time you went on a datewith your spouse?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
when was the last time you got away for maybe a
weekend in a different city?
It was the last.
Of course, you know, pay yourbills and budget well, but when
was the last time you treatedyourself?
So you know?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
yeah know, yeah, that's good.
That's good.
Number two create a joy list.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Literally, grab a notebook or use your phone but
jot down the things that bringyou joy, the big things, the
small things, the simplepleasures, and keep that list
handy when life feels, you know,a bit overwhelming, like it
will from time to time pull itout, pull this out, pick
something to do bang yes whatare some things that bring you
(13:06):
joy?
um outside of spending time withyou I would say um.
Things that bring me joy isdefinitely our date nights.
We have a floating date night.
Um depends on the week.
It could be a Monday night, itcould be a Sunday night.
Recently we had some reallygood burgers, fries and shake
(13:27):
from.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
P Terry's.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yes, it's a branch in Austin.
It's a burger joint in Austinthat moved down here, just
opened up a new branch here inHouston.
We enjoyed here, just opened upa new branch here in Houston
and we enjoyed it.
It was good, and that's one ofthe things that brought me joy
this week.
I already mentioned some of theother things that I planned
throughout the week that broughtme joy, of course, playing
basketball and doing somecouponing.
And then another thing thatbrought me joy I put the
(13:53):
treadmill right in front of theTV upstairs and I watch a
basketball game.
So therefore, put the treadmillright in front of the TV
upstairs and I watch abasketball game.
I watch a basketball game, sotherefore I'm burning calories
and I'm watching a sport that Ilove.
So those are some things thatbrought me joy this week.
What about you?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Well, first and foremost, you know, past all the
things that you have mentioned.
You know our floating datenight and spending time with you
.
Listen, ending the school yearhas brought me some joy.
Now summer is here, thank thelord, I can relax I can sleep in
(14:26):
.
Oh yeah, whoo, those things thatyou take for granted through
the year.
So that's one thing that hasbrought me joy.
Um, also finding like new songs, new music, uh, brings me joy.
Also, you know, being in thegym, volleyball, being able to
teach and do private lessons,and everything like that where
I'm able to actually like breakthings down.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
That brings me joy as well.
So, yeah, and I'm so glad thatyou have those things that bring
you joy, because I believe thatfor those that are married, you
should have things that bringyou joy as a couple and some
things that bring you joy asindividuals.
And what we just did issomething I didn't call in the
phrase, but somebody calling itas vent joy.
A lot of times we vent aboutthe things that are wrong, we
vent about our complaints, butwhat about if we vent about our
joy?
So maybe there's something thatyou can do with a group of
(15:14):
friends or you can do with yourspouse and you know, maybe
weekly or monthly, you figureout the rhythm, but you just
vent about the joy and just thethings that bring you joy and I
can almost guarantee you it's amood booster and it really will
lift your spirits.
But for number three, as we'retalking about joy in a practical
way, you should plan joyfulmilestones.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yes, you should give yourself things to look forward
to regularly.
Uh, it doesn't have to be a bigevent.
Maybe it's just planning amonthly dinner with friends or a
seasonal activity you love, oreven a weekend getaway every few
months because life is tooshort not to enjoy it to the
(15:56):
fullest.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
So make a big deal out of joy.
Make a big deal out of life.
Whether it's holidays,birthdays, anniversaries, your
joy is worth it.
You are worth it.
Maybe it could be once aquarter you take a trip to
another city or you enjoy Once aquarter.
(16:18):
Maybe you take a trip toanother city and just enjoy the
new scenery and enjoy somedifferent foods.
Luckily, we live in Houston, sowe're close enough to visit
Austin or Dallas or San Antonio,whether it's a day trip, maybe
kind of stretching it, but atleast an overnight trip, and so
that's just some of the thingsthat we do yep, yep, yep.
Number four celebrate small winsyou do not have to wait for a
(16:42):
major accomplishment before youcelebrate yeah, finished a tough
project.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Treat yourself to your favorite dessert.
Made it through a challengingweek Playing up on weekend
activity.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Completed a year Of teaching and we're going to
celebrate that.
Babe, life is full of Smallvictories that are worth
celebrating and, as I'm sayingthis out loud, like this month
I'm recording this in May andwe're going into June, but we
published our 200th episode andhave made it yeah, we celebrate
(17:14):
that.
We pause and celebrate that andhave made it to our 5 year
anniversary of this podcastministry.
So after this episode, we needto plan something fun so we can
celebrate and commemorate this.
You can say that because I feellike I'm talking a lot.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
You can say here and I go here now to our final point
of discussion, and that is joyin the midst of hardship yeah, I
want to slow down a bit herebefore we conclude.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I know some of you may be thinking Paul Ariel, what
if life is really hard rightnow?
How can I plan joy when I'mstruggling?
And that's a valid question.
And here's the truth.
Joy does not ignore pain, butit can exist alongside it.
Let's go to scripture.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Second, corinthians 4 , 16 through 18 says therefore,
we do not lose heart, thoughhourly we are wasting away, yet
in really we are being renewedday by day For our light, and
monetary troubles are achievingfor us an eternal glory that far
outweighs them all.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Amen.
I'm going to let you read thatover, because I heard that in
your voice the whole time.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Take two 2 Corinthians 4, 16 through 18
says Therefore, we do not loseheart, though outwardly we are
wasting away, yet inwardly weare being renewed day by day For
our light and monetary troublesare achieving Did.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I say achieving.
I'm going to do take three.
That's momentary, not monetary.
I'm sorry, it's cool.
Wait, what did it say?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
That's momentary not monetary.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
I'm sorry, it's cool.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
We almost there, wait , what did it say?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
It's momentary.
I think you said monetary Likemoney.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, momentary, there you go.
Our momentary troubles areachieving for us.
Okay, take three.
Second.
Corinthians 4, 16 through 18says therefore, we do not lose
heart, take four.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Thousand.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Stop.
Second, corinthians 4, 16through 18 says therefore, we do
not lose heart, though hourlywe are wasting away, yet
inwardly we are being renewedday by day For our light, and
momentary troubles are achievingfor us an eternal glory that
far outweighs them all amen tothe word of god amen now.
Joy is a part of that renewal.
(19:42):
It doesn't ease grief, stressor hardship, but it gives us a
glimpse of hope from the top.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Oh it's okay, joy, it's okay joy.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Joy is a part of that renewal.
It doesn't erase grief, stressor hardship, but it gives us a
glimpse of hope.
It's like a small candleflickering in the dark not
enough to light up a whole room,but enough to remind us that
darkness doesn't have to havethe final word.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Ooh, that's good.
Darkness does not have to havethe final word.
Even in difficult seasons,planning small moments of joy
can be an act of defianceagainst despair.
It's a way of saying that youknow hard things are happening,
but we won't let it steal ourjoy and won't let it steal our
light.
As the saying goes like um theworld didn't give you the joy,
(20:42):
the devil didn't give you thejoy.
So don't let the world take itaway and don't let the devil
take it away, amen.
And if we're being honest, Imean we're coming out of a
difficult season ourselves.
I mean, yes, if it was torewind back to February, my wife
broke her knee.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I did, riding on an electric scooter.
I was downtown in Austin.
I guess I'll tell y'all thestory.
Might as well, we family here Iwas downtown Austin for a
volleyball tournament.
It was day two of ourvolleyball tournament.
We played in the afternoon thisday, so I woke up and I decided
(21:18):
I was going to go get me somecoffee.
Now, mind you, no matter wherewe go, where we travel to, if
we're downtown and there arescooters I'm on one, that's like
my mode of transportation.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
She loves it.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Always, always, always, always my mode of
transportation.
So I'll go to Starbucksbucks,give me some coffee and then, on
my way back to the conventioncenter, somebody pulls off in
front of me, walking.
Mind, you walked in front of mewhile I was in the bike lane,
uh, riding my scooter, um and so, in order for me not to hit
them, I pressed the brake.
(21:52):
When I pressed the brake, thehandlebars turned to the right.
When they turned, it kind ofstopped.
The scooter threw me off and Iguess I landed on my kneecap.
I mean, I guess I can stopguessing.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
I did land on my kneecap, literally, and we got
proof and x-rays to prove it.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Yeah, definitely got the proof to prove it.
I don't remember fallingdirectly on my knee, but the
doctor said that's the only wayI could have broken my kneecap
is if I put, if I would havefell with all my weight on my
knee.
So I was trying to stop myselffrom falling and end up falling
anyways, did a couple rows,laughed it off, got back up,
(22:30):
drove off on my scooter anddidn't think anything of it
until I tried to start walkingand bending my knee and I
couldn't really do that.
So I was down and out for awhile now.
I just got released, maybe aweek or two ago, that my
fracture was fully healed.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Praise the Lord.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Yes, amen, I still have two screws in there, but
the fracture itself is fullyhealed and I still got to get my
quad back strengthened, and soI'm not back 100% yet, but I
will be back at some point.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Exactly, and we tried to make the most of this season
.
I was her Uber driver, takingher to work and picking her up
and bringing her home.
I was underpaid, but here weare.
Not just why I was overpaid withyour love, honey, and we just
utilized that time as we'recommuting together.
We're like, what other time inour lives are we going to be in
(23:25):
the same car going to work,especially when you live in a
big city like Houston.
We work on opposite sides oftown and grateful for a job that
allowed me that space where Ican come in early.
I don't want them to know mybusiness.
So we just made the most.
Like I said, we made the mostof the time where we would
listen to music together, wewould pray together, she would
(23:47):
read a devotional and I respondto it, and so we still planned
our joy.
It looked a bit different.
It looked very different.
We couldn't go to you know thenormal places like Main Event,
or couldn't even go to abasketball game Because you're
going to bend your knee anddifferent things like that.
But we made the most out ofthat season.
Once again, we used ourcommutes for devotion, for
prayer, tried new restaurants,take out, brought it home and
(24:09):
tried it.
Here's the point.
We really want you to be moreintentional Once again.
Life is too short not to enjoy.
Maximize whatever currentseason that you are in.
Take the time to plan your joyand your mental health.
(24:30):
Your emotional health will beglad that you did.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Amen.
So here's our challenge for youtoday.
What's one thing you can planright now that will bring you
joy?
Not tomorrow, not next week?
Speaker 1 (24:45):
today oh yeah, we're giving you homework, and it
could be as simple as callingsomeone you love or it could be
taking a walk and just noticing,like five beautiful things
enjoying the air, enjoying thesunlight, enjoying the scenery
getting your nails or your toesdone okay, manly, pity it could
be grabbing a scoop of yourfavorite ice cream on the way
(25:06):
home from work.
But whatever it is, make ithappen.
My friend.
And here's the key Don't waitfor joy to find you.
Go after it, plan it, pursue it, prioritize it, because life
isn't about surviving, it'sabout thriving.
And, with that being said, weare in the midst of planning our
joy and planning a fun summer,as my wife will have a break
(25:29):
from school, and so we're goingto be really intentional with
that time.
And, with that being said, thepodcast is going on a summer
break and we're going to usethis time to have fun, we're
going to plan our joy, we'regoing to rest, we're going to
relax, but I want to also justsharpen the saw, so to speak, so
I'm just going to keep reading,keep growing, so I can bring
you the best content, um in thefall, um, but don't worry, you
(25:51):
have over 200 episodes to goback and listen to.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yes, so we ask that you keep listening and sharing
and, as always, thank you somuch for tuning in today.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
For sure, and we hope that you have a blessed day and
we hope that you take the timeto plan your joy, because joy
isn't a reward for when life isperfect, because joy is actually
a gift for you to enjoy rightnow.
But until next time, that'senough of us yapping.
You want you to go.
Be all that god has called youto be and we out you.
Welcome and thanks for tuning in.
To Real People, real Talk,relevant conversations that take
you from surviving to thriving.
This is the podcast that goesthere.
My name is Paul Calco and I'myour host.
Now let's talk.
Well, hello, thriver, and thankyou so much for tuning in today
(00:34):
.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
We're really glad you're here today, because we're
diving into something that'ssimple on the surface but has
the power to transform how weexperience life.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Today, we want to discuss something that can
positively contribute to yourmental and emotional health,
which is planning your joy.
Now, I know, just hearing thatphrase it may sound a bit
unusual, but here's how the idea, the notion of planning your
joy it's the thing that we wantto talk about.
We're so used to planning ourwork schedules.
We plan our meetings, we planour errands, we plan our
(01:06):
responsibilities, but how oftendo we take the time to be
intentional and plan for joy?
How often do we just carve outthat time that really refreshes
our soul, makes us smile andfills us with anticipation?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Here's the thing Joy isn't something that just
happens to us.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
There are spontaneous moments of happiness that
surprise us along the way, but alot of our joy comes from what
we create, what we nurture and,yes, what we plan.
Here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Joy isn't just due to what we nurture.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I figured out in post okay, but a lot of our joy
comes from what we create, whatwe nurture and, yes, what we
plan exactly so.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Today, we want to explore why planning your joy
matters, how it impacts yourmental health, your emotional
health and your spiritualwell-being as well, and of we're
going to get it practical andgive you some ways that you can
make this a regular part of yourlife.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
First of all, let's discuss the power of
anticipation.
Did you know that simplylooking forward to something can
boost your mood and well-being?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
As a matter of fact, I did know that, in fact,
psychologists call this theanticipation effect.
The excitement, the joy, thepositive feelings that you
experience even before an eventcan be just as powerful as the
event itself.
Think about it like this Isn'thalf of the fun of a vacation.
Take two Think about it likethis Isn't half of the fun of a
(02:43):
vacation?
The countdown leading up to it,or the excitement that you may
feel the night before a specialcelebration?
I reckon so.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Hmm, there's actually research to back this up.
A study published in thejournal Applied Research in
Quality of Life found thatpeople are happiest when they
have a vacation plan during thevacation itself, but in the
weeks leading up to it.
Why?
Because having something tolook forward to gives us a
(03:10):
mental boost.
It's like having a bright spoton the horizon, even when the
present moment feels heavy and Ican testify to this my wife and
I.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
We travel here and there throughout the year, but
primarily during the summer.
As you may know, my wife is ateacher and the school year just
ended, and so we have somethings to look forward to and
planning.
And we're actually going to doour annual two week vacation in
July.
And even though this trip won'toccur to a month later, at
least at the time of this report, at least at the time of this
(03:42):
recording that was take two.
I am super pumped right here,right now, just anticipating it.
I've actually already startedpacking for the trip.
I'm ready man.
Proverbs 13 12 says um, take two.
Proverbs 13 12 captures theanticipation effect quite
beautifully when it says hopedeferred makes the heart sick,
(04:03):
but desire fulfilled is a treeof life.
And one more thing I had to addto that before I go to eBay.
Like I said, I've alreadystarted planning, already
started packing, because we'regoing on the road trip.
So I got some napkins for thecar, some hand sanitizer.
I already planning out thethings we're going to do in each
of the cities.
And right now, even though thattrip, once again, it's not till
July, I'm experiencing some ofthat joy now.
(04:24):
So once again, just want togive you a real live example of
this anticipation effect.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, I get that, and when we have nothing to look
forward to, it can feel like ourhearts are weary, weighed down
by routine and responsibilities.
Adulting hashtag, adultinghashtag.
Adulting yeah, um, but whenyou're looking ahead to
something meaningful, no matterhow small, it gives us energy,
motivation and hope amen to thatamen.
(04:53):
Point number two joy is not aluxury, it's a necessity yeah,
let's address this commonmisconception.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
We often treat joy like it's something extra, like
it's only Take two.
We often treat joy like it'ssomething extra, like it's only
for the weekends, only forvacations, only for special
occasions.
But that's not how we'redesigned to live.
We were created for joy, andit's not just a fleeting.
It's not how we're designed tolive.
(05:25):
We were created for joy, andit's not just a fleeting.
It's not take two, it's notjust a fleeting emotion it's a
vital part of a healthy andthriving life amen, I mean.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
In nehemiah 8, 10, we read the joy of the lord is
your strength read that one moretime, babe it says the joy of
the lord is your strength noticethe tense there.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
It doesn't say oh no, that's not what I'm trying to
say.
Okay, take two.
Notice that.
It doesn't say the business ofyour schedule is your strength.
It doesn't say the number oftasks that you complete is your
strength.
It's joy.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Joy is your strength, joy, joy, joy.
Come on now.
I mean joy strengthens us, itsustains us, it helps us endure
difficult seasons, because itreminds us that even in the
midst of challenges, beauty canbe found.
Joy isn't about ignoring life'sdifficulties.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
It's about finding light in the midst of them
exactly like, no matter whatseason you may be going through
now.
You can find some joy there,because joy of the lord is your
strength and planning your joy.
It doesn't mean that everymoment of your life has to be
grand or luxurious or instagramworthy.
If you will, it can be assimple as a walk in the park
(06:44):
with your favorite playlistblasting in your AirPods.
It could be a cozy evening witha good book and a cup of tea.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
It can be a candlelit bubble bath which is one of my
favorites.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Throwing a couple of bath bombs and you got it
rocking.
Right there it could be eatingyour favorite meal.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yes, seafood, it could be.
Oh, I'm sorry, it could beparticipating in your favorite
meal.
Yes, seafood, it could be.
Oh, I'm sorry, it could beparticipating in your favorite
hobby.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
And I can speak to this and I've mentioned this a
couple times on the podcast, butI look forward to playing
basketball every Thursday.
All right, so that gives mesomething in the middle of the
week or towards the end, but itgives me something in the week
to look forward to.
I also look forward tocouponing on the weekend um,
dollar general on Saturdays theygot that five dollar off 25 and
(07:30):
then Walgreens on Sunday.
So just some simple things thatI have scattered throughout the
week to look forward to, thusplanning my joy.
And it has been a positive um.
It has really positivelyaffected me from an emotional
and you you know mental point ofview.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, I get that.
Now I really need to find onemore thing.
I think that I can plan, sothat I can plan my joy.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Because, you know, I do a lot of work, and even
though one of my quote-unquotejobs I do love to do and it's
something that I have a passionabout, and so that does bring me
joy, I still need to findsomething else outside of
volleyball, um that I can playmy joy around.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Thank you, babe yeah, definitely another thing I do
like on my off day, on friday, Ilook forward to making a fresh
cup of coffee and just goingoutside get some fresh air, get
some sunlight on the gazebo,drinking my coffee and reading
god's word.
Once again, it's the littlethings and it's not about what
you do necessarily.
It's about intentionallycreating the space for things
(08:41):
that make your heart feel alive.
So hear me, hear us and hear us.
Well, I want to encourage youto discover or rediscover those
things that make you smile.
Discover and rediscover alsothose things that bring you joy.
Then go add those things toyour calendar and to your to-do
(09:02):
list.
Now for point number three, thespiritual side of joy.
You want to take it a stepdeeper, a step further, because
joy isn't just a psychologicalor emotional experience, it's a
spiritual one as well.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yes, yes, it is.
Psalm 1611 says you make knownto me the path of life.
In your presence there isfullness of joy.
At your right hand there arepleasures forevermore.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
In your presence, there is the fullness of joy.
I'm all about having fun, I'mall about planning fun
activities and planning your joy.
But at the end of the day, orat the very beginning of things,
joy begins with the Lord.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I just said that I knew I was going to say that.
Yes, have fun.
Yes, plan your joy, but true,lasting joy Comes from a
personal relationship with JesusChrist.
You can plan the best day ever,have all of your favorites, but
if you leave God out.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
You want to experience real lasting joy so
true, as joy is deeply connectedto God's presence for For sure.
It's not just about externalcircumstances, it's about
internal posture of the heart.
And here's a beautiful thingwhen we plan for joy, we
actually are honoring the lifeof God, the life that God has
(10:28):
given us.
We're saying God, I see thebeauty in what you've created
and I'm going to pause anddelight in it.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Amen.
Ecclesiastes, chapter 3, verses12 through 13.
13 reminds us of this.
I perceive that nothing isbetter for them than to be
joyful and to do good as long asthey live.
Also, that everyone should eat,drink and take pleasure in his
toil.
This is god's gift to man.
Did you catch that, my friend?
Joy is a gift from god and,like any gift, we're meant to
(11:00):
receive it.
Open it up and enjoy it, andnot just leave it sitting on the
shelf I wouldn't leave a personsitting around exactly.
So there's this joy that we'retalking about.
It's available to you, justgotta tap into it that's good.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Point number four practical ways to plan your joy
all right, we're going to breakthis down because we're not
going to be here long, but we'regoing to break this down and
get practical.
How do we actually plan our joy?
This would give you someexamples from our personal lives
, um that you could use later on.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
So, once again, some actionable steps that you can
start today yeah, and like paulsaid earlier, um, but let me say
again, for further emphasis,put joy on the calendar.
Calendar I'm gonna go again.
Take two, like paul said before.
Let me say it again for furtheremphasis Put joy on the
(11:58):
calendar.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Literally.
Don't just think oh, I'll relaxwhen I have time.
Schedule it.
Block out time for things thatmake you happy, whether it's a
hobby, whether it's a coffeedate or even just a quiet moment
of reflection like that bubblebath, but block out the time
yeah, man, I don't know who thisis for, but, like, when was the
(12:21):
last time you went on a datewith your spouse?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
when was the last time you got away for maybe a
weekend in a different city?
It was the last.
Of course, you know, pay yourbills and budget well, but when
was the last time you treatedyourself?
So you know?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
yeah know, yeah, that's good.
That's good.
Number two create a joy list.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Literally, grab a notebook or use your phone but
jot down the things that bringyou joy, the big things, the
small things, the simplepleasures, and keep that list
handy when life feels, you know,a bit overwhelming, like it
will from time to time pull itout, pull this out, pick
something to do bang yes whatare some things that bring you
(13:06):
joy?
um outside of spending time withyou I would say um.
Things that bring me joy isdefinitely our date nights.
We have a floating date night.
Um depends on the week.
It could be a Monday night, itcould be a Sunday night.
Recently we had some reallygood burgers, fries and shake
(13:27):
from.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
P Terry's.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yes, it's a branch in Austin.
It's a burger joint in Austinthat moved down here, just
opened up a new branch here inHouston.
We enjoyed here, just opened upa new branch here in Houston
and we enjoyed it.
It was good, and that's one ofthe things that brought me joy
this week.
I already mentioned some of theother things that I planned
throughout the week that broughtme joy, of course, playing
basketball and doing somecouponing.
And then another thing thatbrought me joy I put the
(13:53):
treadmill right in front of theTV upstairs and I watch a
basketball game.
So therefore, put the treadmillright in front of the TV
upstairs and I watch abasketball game.
I watch a basketball game, sotherefore I'm burning calories
and I'm watching a sport that Ilove.
So those are some things thatbrought me joy this week.
What about you?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Well, first and foremost, you know, past all the
things that you have mentioned.
You know our floating datenight and spending time with you
.
Listen, ending the school yearhas brought me some joy.
Now summer is here, thank thelord, I can relax I can sleep in
(14:26):
.
Oh yeah, whoo, those things thatyou take for granted through
the year.
So that's one thing that hasbrought me joy.
Um, also finding like new songs, new music, uh, brings me joy.
Also, you know, being in thegym, volleyball, being able to
teach and do private lessons,and everything like that where
I'm able to actually like breakthings down.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
That brings me joy as well.
So, yeah, and I'm so glad thatyou have those things that bring
you joy, because I believe thatfor those that are married, you
should have things that bringyou joy as a couple and some
things that bring you joy asindividuals.
And what we just did issomething I didn't call in the
phrase, but somebody calling itas vent joy.
A lot of times we vent aboutthe things that are wrong, we
vent about our complaints, butwhat about if we vent about our
joy?
So maybe there's something thatyou can do with a group of
(15:14):
friends or you can do with yourspouse and you know, maybe
weekly or monthly, you figureout the rhythm, but you just
vent about the joy and just thethings that bring you joy and I
can almost guarantee you it's amood booster and it really will
lift your spirits.
But for number three, as we'retalking about joy in a practical
way, you should plan joyfulmilestones.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yes, you should give yourself things to look forward
to regularly.
Uh, it doesn't have to be a bigevent.
Maybe it's just planning amonthly dinner with friends or a
seasonal activity you love, oreven a weekend getaway every few
months because life is tooshort not to enjoy it to the
(15:56):
fullest.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
So make a big deal out of joy.
Make a big deal out of life.
Whether it's holidays,birthdays, anniversaries, your
joy is worth it.
You are worth it.
Maybe it could be once aquarter you take a trip to
another city or you enjoy Once aquarter.
(16:18):
Maybe you take a trip toanother city and just enjoy the
new scenery and enjoy somedifferent foods.
Luckily, we live in Houston, sowe're close enough to visit
Austin or Dallas or San Antonio,whether it's a day trip, maybe
kind of stretching it, but atleast an overnight trip, and so
that's just some of the thingsthat we do yep, yep, yep.
Number four celebrate small winsyou do not have to wait for a
(16:42):
major accomplishment before youcelebrate yeah, finished a tough
project.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Treat yourself to your favorite dessert.
Made it through a challengingweek Playing up on weekend
activity.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Completed a year Of teaching and we're going to
celebrate that.
Babe, life is full of Smallvictories that are worth
celebrating and, as I'm sayingthis out loud, like this month
I'm recording this in May andwe're going into June, but we
published our 200th episode andhave made it yeah, we celebrate
(17:14):
that.
We pause and celebrate that andhave made it to our 5 year
anniversary of this podcastministry.
So after this episode, we needto plan something fun so we can
celebrate and commemorate this.
You can say that because I feellike I'm talking a lot.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
You can say here and I go here now to our final point
of discussion, and that is joyin the midst of hardship yeah, I
want to slow down a bit herebefore we conclude.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I know some of you may be thinking Paul Ariel, what
if life is really hard rightnow?
How can I plan joy when I'mstruggling?
And that's a valid question.
And here's the truth.
Joy does not ignore pain, butit can exist alongside it.
Let's go to scripture.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Second, corinthians 4 , 16 through 18 says therefore,
we do not lose heart, thoughhourly we are wasting away, yet
in really we are being renewedday by day For our light, and
monetary troubles are achievingfor us an eternal glory that far
outweighs them all.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Amen.
I'm going to let you read thatover, because I heard that in
your voice the whole time.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Take two 2 Corinthians 4, 16 through 18
says Therefore, we do not loseheart, though outwardly we are
wasting away, yet inwardly weare being renewed day by day For
our light and monetary troublesare achieving Did.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I say achieving.
I'm going to do take three.
That's momentary, not monetary.
I'm sorry, it's cool.
Wait, what did it say?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
That's momentary not monetary.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
I'm sorry, it's cool.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
We almost there, wait , what did it say?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
It's momentary.
I think you said monetary Likemoney.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, momentary, there you go.
Our momentary troubles areachieving for us.
Okay, take three.
Second.
Corinthians 4, 16 through 18says therefore, we do not lose
heart, take four.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Thousand.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Stop.
Second, corinthians 4, 16through 18 says therefore, we do
not lose heart, though hourlywe are wasting away, yet
inwardly we are being renewedday by day For our light, and
momentary troubles are achievingfor us an eternal glory that
far outweighs them all amen tothe word of god amen now.
Joy is a part of that renewal.
(19:42):
It doesn't ease grief, stressor hardship, but it gives us a
glimpse of hope from the top.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Oh it's okay, joy, it's okay joy.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Joy is a part of that renewal.
It doesn't erase grief, stressor hardship, but it gives us a
glimpse of hope.
It's like a small candleflickering in the dark not
enough to light up a whole room,but enough to remind us that
darkness doesn't have to havethe final word.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Ooh, that's good.
Darkness does not have to havethe final word.
Even in difficult seasons,planning small moments of joy
can be an act of defianceagainst despair.
It's a way of saying that youknow hard things are happening,
but we won't let it steal ourjoy and won't let it steal our
light.
As the saying goes like um theworld didn't give you the joy,
(20:42):
the devil didn't give you thejoy.
So don't let the world take itaway and don't let the devil
take it away, amen.
And if we're being honest, Imean we're coming out of a
difficult season ourselves.
I mean, yes, if it was torewind back to February, my wife
broke her knee.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I did, riding on an electric scooter.
I was downtown in Austin.
I guess I'll tell y'all thestory.
Might as well, we family here Iwas downtown Austin for a
volleyball tournament.
It was day two of ourvolleyball tournament.
We played in the afternoon thisday, so I woke up and I decided
(21:18):
I was going to go get me somecoffee.
Now, mind you, no matter wherewe go, where we travel to, if
we're downtown and there arescooters I'm on one, that's like
my mode of transportation.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
She loves it.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Always, always, always, always my mode of
transportation.
So I'll go to Starbucksbucks,give me some coffee and then, on
my way back to the conventioncenter, somebody pulls off in
front of me, walking.
Mind, you walked in front of mewhile I was in the bike lane,
uh, riding my scooter, um and so, in order for me not to hit
them, I pressed the brake.
(21:52):
When I pressed the brake, thehandlebars turned to the right.
When they turned, it kind ofstopped.
The scooter threw me off and Iguess I landed on my kneecap.
I mean, I guess I can stopguessing.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
I did land on my kneecap, literally, and we got
proof and x-rays to prove it.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Yeah, definitely got the proof to prove it.
I don't remember fallingdirectly on my knee, but the
doctor said that's the only wayI could have broken my kneecap
is if I put, if I would havefell with all my weight on my
knee.
So I was trying to stop myselffrom falling and end up falling
anyways, did a couple rows,laughed it off, got back up,
(22:30):
drove off on my scooter anddidn't think anything of it
until I tried to start walkingand bending my knee and I
couldn't really do that.
So I was down and out for awhile now.
I just got released, maybe aweek or two ago, that my
fracture was fully healed.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Praise the Lord.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Yes, amen, I still have two screws in there, but
the fracture itself is fullyhealed and I still got to get my
quad back strengthened, and soI'm not back 100% yet, but I
will be back at some point.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Exactly, and we tried to make the most of this season
.
I was her Uber driver, takingher to work and picking her up
and bringing her home.
I was underpaid, but here weare.
Not just why I was overpaid withyour love, honey, and we just
utilized that time as we'recommuting together.
We're like, what other time inour lives are we going to be in
(23:25):
the same car going to work,especially when you live in a
big city like Houston.
We work on opposite sides oftown and grateful for a job that
allowed me that space where Ican come in early.
I don't want them to know mybusiness.
So we just made the most.
Like I said, we made the mostof the time where we would
listen to music together, wewould pray together, she would
(23:47):
read a devotional and I respondto it, and so we still planned
our joy.
It looked a bit different.
It looked very different.
We couldn't go to you know thenormal places like Main Event,
or couldn't even go to abasketball game Because you're
going to bend your knee anddifferent things like that.
But we made the most out ofthat season.
Once again, we used ourcommutes for devotion, for
prayer, tried new restaurants,take out, brought it home and
(24:09):
tried it.
Here's the point.
We really want you to be moreintentional Once again.
Life is too short not to enjoy.
Maximize whatever currentseason that you are in.
Take the time to plan your joyand your mental health.
(24:30):
Your emotional health will beglad that you did.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Amen.
So here's our challenge for youtoday.
What's one thing you can planright now that will bring you
joy?
Not tomorrow, not next week?
Speaker 1 (24:45):
today oh yeah, we're giving you homework, and it
could be as simple as callingsomeone you love or it could be
taking a walk and just noticing,like five beautiful things
enjoying the air, enjoying thesunlight, enjoying the scenery
getting your nails or your toesdone okay, manly, pity it could
be grabbing a scoop of yourfavorite ice cream on the way
(25:06):
home from work.
But whatever it is, make ithappen.
My friend.
And here's the key Don't waitfor joy to find you.
Go after it, plan it, pursue it, prioritize it, because life
isn't about surviving, it'sabout thriving.
And, with that being said, weare in the midst of planning our
joy and planning a fun summer,as my wife will have a break
(25:29):
from school, and so we're goingto be really intentional with
that time.
And, with that being said, thepodcast is going on a summer
break and we're going to usethis time to have fun, we're
going to plan our joy, we'regoing to rest, we're going to
relax, but I want to also justsharpen the saw, so to speak, so
I'm just going to keep reading,keep growing, so I can bring
you the best content, um in thefall, um, but don't worry, you
(25:51):
have over 200 episodes to goback and listen to.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yes, so we ask that you keep listening and sharing
and, as always, thank you somuch for tuning in today.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
For sure, and we hope that you have a blessed day and
we hope that you take the timeto plan your joy, because joy
isn't a reward for when life isperfect, because joy is actually
a gift for you to enjoy rightnow.
But until next time, that'senough of us yapping.
You want you to go.
Be all that god has called youto be and we out you.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!