August 8, 2025 • 36 mins
Ann explores the power of manifesting through intention and action rather than perfectionism, inspired by Halle Berry's insight about focusing on what we want instead of what we don't want.
• Manifesting isn't about magic but about aligning thoughts, beliefs, and actions
• You don't have to be perfectly whole to manifest—you can begin from your messiest places
• Thought stopping techniques can redirect negative thinking patterns
• Your dream life doesn't need a perfect version of you—it needs a present version
• Clarify who you're becoming through vision and soul alignment
• Actions must match intentions—manifestation is movement, not just meditation
• Create boundaries to protect your dreams by saying no to what doesn't align
• Small steps have soul-sized impacts on reaching your goals
• It's never too late to manifest your dreams, regardless of age or past limitations
• Your past may explain you, but it doesn't define you
Take one alignment action today—speak one truth, write down one intention, or act on one goal. You're not just manifesting a life; you're remembering the one you were born to live.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:23):
Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
I am Anne.
Wait a second.
There's no guest.
I have nobody to talk to.
Oh wait, I'm talking to you.
Yeah, I've done this before andit's been a while.
I came across something on theDrew Barrymore show the other
(00:45):
day and I really wanted to touchon it because it was very
interesting to me.
I honestly, you know what I dobelieve in manifestation.
I do believe in working hardfor something and going towards
something with everything inyour being.
Think it, believe it, act on itand it will happen.
(01:09):
It was a comment, it was HalleBerry, and I don't remember the
exact quote, but she saidsomething along the lines of
even when you're thinking aboutthe negative, about what you
don't want, or I mean thatyou're manifesting it.
(01:30):
So you need to think what youwant instead of think about what
you don't want, and that justblew me away.
I mean, I have never thoughtabout that before.
I spend way too much of my timethinking about what I don't
(01:51):
want or what just happened, orthe negative, or I do have to
say that I work really, reallyhard to help things get where
they need to be, and I would saymost of my day is that way and
(02:12):
I really believe in if you workhard, you will get there.
But her comment made me rethinkeverything that I've been doing
.
Yes, continue to do that.
But one of the things thatreally touched me when she said
(02:33):
that was wait a second.
I spend I can't even tell youhow much time of my day thinking
about the negative parts,pieces that have happened, and
how much has that affected theoutcome.
I bet I bet it's affected a lotof the outcome, and there's a
(02:59):
thing called thought stoppingand it's something that I have
believed in for a very, verylong time.
I have not been doing it and Ineed to get back to it.
It's where you really literallyjust stop your thought.
I forget how many days it is,I'll just say 21, because that's
(03:21):
a good number that I've heard,where you know if you do
something for 21 days and youestablish a new habit, those
kind of things, but your brainautomatically takes the course
that it's always taken and athought, it just automatically
goes there and that's why it thethought just goes that
direction and it takes effort toget your brain to think a
(03:43):
different way.
So I thought, the more I wasthinking about this I'd really
like to dive into.
You know the buzzword ofmanifesting.
Now I know that some of y'allhear that word and immediately
roll your eyes.
Like girl, I can't manifestmyself out of this pile of
(04:05):
laundry, let alone a dream life,and I get it because I
seriously am there.
But I'm not talking aboutwaving a magic wand and poop.
Now it would be great.
One of my favorite shows andstill is is Bewitched.
You know, wiggle your Nose or IDream of Jeannie and those
(04:27):
things would be amazing.
And I look at my housesometimes and I think, yeah,
that would be really great.
Just, you know poof.
But you know you can't wave amagic wand and your soulmate
appears or a six figure salary.
I'm talking about the real work.
I mean the real, the way youthink and aligning your beliefs
(04:47):
and your actions into somethingbigger, because manifesting
doesn't start when you've got itall together.
Let me say that again because Ineed to hear this.
Manifesting doesn't start whenyou've got it all together.
It often starts when your lifefeels like a beautiful disaster.
(05:09):
You know, pink is one of myfavorite singers in the world
and she has beautiful trauma,the beautiful trauma tour.
I thought that I would talk alittle bit about manifesting
from the middle of a mess, andyou can use whatever word you
want.
You can get rid of the wordmanifesting if you want, Because
some people, I think, have areally hard time with that word
(05:31):
and, honestly, it's just a callto action so you can kill the
myth right here.
You don't have to be perfectlywhole in any way, because,
honestly, are any of us no sobut you can manifest while
crying in the shower, you canmanifest when you're broke.
Broken why?
(05:52):
Because manifesting isn't aboutperfection, it's about
intention.
When I was at my lowest pointand I've had quite a few of
those, you know, those pointswhere your heart is just cracked
open I still whispered to Godand he was listening.
There's more than this.
(06:14):
I don't.
I didn't know what it lookedlike, I didn't know what was
coming my way was coming my way,but and I wasn't ready, and
that's the thing too I wasn'tready.
What's the definition of ready?
(06:37):
I think so many times we don'tthink that we're ready and we're
not.
But just taking that first step, just getting up off the floor
I don't know if anybody outthere has literally been on the
floor.
I mean, when you don't haveanything in you to even feel
like you can, surrenderingreally is the only option that
you have at that point.
Surrendering is not a weakness,it's actually power.
(07:00):
And it says I don't know how,but I know that I will, we can
start where we are.
I mean, that's all we have isto start right where we are.
What a gift that is to be ableto start where we are.
Manifesting doesn't ignore thepain.
(07:21):
It moves with it.
Thank God that even if we arein extreme pain, we can go with
it.
I just interviewed a man, tonyStewart, who's going to be on,
whose wife passed away fromcancer and he wrote this amazing
(07:41):
book called Carrying the Tiger.
I really recommend it.
But he learned through hisgrief to go through the waves
and to let the wave take himwherever it went and to be open
to wherever he ended up.
I mean manifesting doesn'tignore the pain.
(08:03):
You don't have to fakepositivity.
I mean manifesting doesn'tignore the pain.
You don't have to fakepositivity.
You just have to believe inpossibility, in chance.
That is.
There is so much there, becauselots of times we honestly don't
think that there's anything inus to be able to move forward.
(08:26):
But I believe.
I believe and I know for a factthat if you get up off of that
floor, if you take that firststep, if you grit and grind and
do whatever and think thepositive, you don't have to fake
the positive.
You just have to believe in thepossibility.
(08:50):
Now let's talk about the vision.
This isn't a vision board withluxury jets and beaches and that
kind of thing.
I'm not a beach gal anyway.
It's okay, I kind of like goingto the beach, but my idea of
fun is New York and LA.
So there we are.
(09:11):
But I'm talking about soul,vision, purpose alignment and
who are you becoming?
Who am I becoming?
That isn't that real.
And you're never too old toalign your thoughts with what
you want to become.
It's.
It's never too late, because ifyou don't know where you're
(09:35):
headed, how will you know whatto say yes to, what to say heck,
no to?
I mean, I get requests all thetime, even on the podcast, and I
have to be honest.
I always ask myself does thisalign with our mission, with our
vision?
(09:55):
So I don't always haveeverybody on, even if I think
that it might lead to somethingbigger and better.
I honestly want to make surethat it aligns with where we are
.
I have big dreams I really wantto manifest, not only for the
(10:17):
show, but also for my personallife.
I've got my own dreams andvisions and I know where I want
to be.
One of the things that I alwaysused to do with my swimmers and
this was a big deal I kept coastswimming.
For what was it?
12 years or something like that.
It was a long time, and one ofthe things that I would have
(10:38):
them do is visualize, stroke bystroke, you know, going off the
block, every single stroke,going down, doing the flip turn,
going back to the wall andhitting that wall, winning, I
mean.
And it could have just been abetter time, it could have been
whatever the winning meant forthat person.
It could have been fifth placeinstead of sixth place.
(11:01):
I just always wanted them to betheir best self, to go that one
extra.
So I always wanted them toclose their eyes.
I wanted them to close theireyes and imagine the version of
who they wanted to be in thewater.
But if we close our eyes andimagine the version of who we
want to be healed, whole,thriving, not perfect, but
(11:28):
peaceful, not perfect butpeaceful, entire being just
chill.
I mean I can't even tell youhow often I have that.
There is so much stress in mylife right now I can't even
(11:51):
begin to tell you.
But there are places that we go, that you go in your life where
you actually can feel, feel,where you can feel and, all out,
just chill, go over your wholeentire body.
I'm not talking cold, I'mtalking peace, where everything
just goes.
(12:12):
You just feel better internally.
It's just released and imaginethe version of you who is healed
, you who is whole, whateverthat whole might mean in your
eyes, and you who is thrivingRemember, not perfect, but
(12:35):
peaceful.
What do you believe aboutyourself?
I mean, I actually wrote thatdown.
What do you believe aboutyourself?
I believe I'm an amazing mom.
I believe that I give all daylong to others.
But who am I to me?
I don't even know if I couldanswer that question, but I can
(12:55):
tell you what I want to do.
I can tell you what I want togive out, and that is positive.
I want this show to be positive.
I want this show to touch otherpeople and show them.
Yes, I've been hurting too.
Yes, I've been down and out.
I have been on that floor, Ihave been to parts points in my
(13:19):
life where I didn't even feellike I could take that next step
, but I did.
I took that next step.
What do you believe aboutyourself, and how do you live
that out?
Do you live that out?
What do you want?
What do you believe aboutyourself?
Do those measure up?
(13:41):
Do your actions lead you towhere you're going, where you
want to go?
If not, then they might need tochange.
How do you walk into a room?
I mean, isn't that aninteresting question?
How do you walk into a roomroom, I mean, isn't that an
(14:02):
interesting question?
How do you walk into a room?
See, I'm such a real and rawperson.
I wear my heart on my sleevewhen it comes to the podcast and
when I help people and when Italk to people about my life and
my journey, and that's whatthis is all about.
But I have many.
I wear many hats.
I think we all do.
You know there are certainpeople, certain rooms that I'm
going to walk in differently.
There's certain rooms of peoplethat I'm not going to share,
(14:25):
who I am in my heart, unless youknow, I feel led to, and.
But you want to ask yourselfthat question how do you walk
into the room?
How do you want to be different?
How do you want people to seeyou walk into the room?
How do you want to be different?
How do you want people to seeyou?
I mean, that's really important.
(14:46):
Here's another question, youknow, is there something that I
need to do that I haven't doneyet to reach my goals?
Yes, there is.
Yes, there is, and Tina and Iare talking about it now.
And you know what?
How come the very thing thatwe're working really hard at to
become is also the very one ofthe very things that I could be
(15:07):
afraid of.
How come I know what I need todo?
All I need to do is just bamand it's done.
I think it's the feeling, thefeeling of failure.
I had a woman on recently Hername was Deborah Weed.
That's a good one, too Goodepisode and she said that she
(15:29):
did what she did with her booksand musicals and everything.
And she got to the point whereshe did it because she said,
what do I have to lose?
Did it because she said, whatdo I have to lose?
It's still.
Those words have resonated withme since I did that podcast
with her.
What do I have to lose.
So just do it.
(15:50):
What do you have to lose?
If you really want something, ifyou really want to manifest
something, you have to thinkpositive.
You have to think positive.
Your actions have to align withwhat your goal is.
This is a key.
Remove what is in your way.
Are there things in your waythat's keeping you from reaching
your goal that you have, frommanifesting what you want?
(16:12):
Sometimes it could be yourself.
Are you standing in the way?
In my case, yes, that is partly, and in the past I have done
that.
I've worked really hard on that.
I think my mind sometimes couldstand in the way of what I want
(16:32):
or what I believe, and I cantalk negatively about myself.
It is absolutely something thatI have to work on.
You know, one of the otherthings that I used to do with my
swimmers is I would give themreally positive quotes, and I
thought about coming on herewith some really positive quotes
(16:53):
because that's what we did.
But I want our listeners tocome up with their own mantras.
I don't want to come up withyour mantra.
Everybody has their own.
One of mine lately is trust theprocess and that's pretty cliche
, I guess, but I cannot tell youhow many times it goes through
(17:16):
my head, whether it's somethingwith a family member, something
with a podcast, whatever it isin my life, I instantly think.
My next thought is trust theprocess and then for some reason
, I'm able to let it go.
Whatever is going on, whateverI feel is negative or not
working, I feel at that timebecause I'm hoping that it will
(17:40):
go in a different direction Ijust say trust the process and
it instantly, just like thatthought, stopping.
That's what it does.
It makes me my thought go in adifferent direction and I
instantly trust where I am.
It doesn't even it might appearto me at that moment.
Maybe it's not where I want tobe, not where I thought that
(18:02):
this was going, but I have totrust where that moment.
Maybe it's not where I want tobe, not where I thought that
this was going, but I have totrust where I am in order to get
where I'm going.
The other part of this and I'vetouched on this is so many
people think that manifesting isjust thinking and when I worked
in the jail system, I remembera woman and I have talked about
(18:25):
this in other podcasts episodeswhere I said you know, we talked
about this type of thing and awoman in the jail said I pray to
your God all the time and itdoesn't work for me.
I don't get where I need to be.
And my simple question to herwas what are you doing?
(18:48):
Because there is.
If I could sit here all daylong and think what I want
that's not what I'm talkingabout with manifesting me is
actually an action.
Even my thoughts are positive.
They have to be positive, notalways, but then I try to change
(19:10):
it.
They need to.
Your thoughts need to bepositive.
Your actions need to align withyour thoughts to reach your
goal.
It 100% of an action, so it'snot just your thought, it is
absolutely movement.
If you want something, you haveto do something.
(19:31):
If you want connection, youhave to reach out.
If you want something different, you have to do something
different.
You want healing.
This one is a different kind ofaction because, like I just
said with tony stewart in thepodcast that I just the episode
that I just did with him, wetalked about actually sitting in
(19:52):
the pain, allowing the pain tobe in order to heal.
I mean that's really important,but sometimes an action is an
arrest type of situation.
You want purpose, show up.
I say this all the time.
I'm just going to keep showingup, even if I'm not ready.
(20:14):
Even if I'm not ready, I'mgoing to keep showing up.
If I want something, if I wanta job, if I want the podcast on
another radio station, if I wantwhatever it is, I need to show
up, even if I'm not ready.
I can get as ready as Ipossibly can and I'm still going
(20:34):
to fall short.
There's still something that Iwasn't ready for.
So there was a woman that I had, amy Guber, on one of the
podcasts with her mom it was agreat Mother's Day podcast and
she said she's the kind ofperson that jumps before the
parachutes opened, you know, orbefore she pulls the string or
(20:55):
something along those lines.
But you get what I'm talkingabout.
That's you know.
We need to jump even beforewe're ready.
You want to reach your dream.
You have to jump before you'reready.
You want to reach your dream.
You have to jump before you'reready.
I want to say this your dreamlife, whatever it is, whatever
that vision board, that perfectversion of what you want, your
(21:18):
dream life doesn't need aperfect version of you.
It needs a present version ofyou.
It needs a present version ofyou.
I spent way too much time in mylife worrying about where I've
been my past, whatever it was.
I spent way too much timeworrying about the things that
(21:39):
kept me from being my best self.
I worried way too much aboutthe things in the future of how
am I going to get there, how amI going to do these things, all
the present things that were waytoo overwhelming Instead of
just being in the present, inthe moment, being right where I
am.
I'll tell you if you want toget somewhere positive, get
(22:03):
where you want to be.
Manifest something from athought to an action, to a goal.
If that's what you want to do,you have to live in the present.
You have to.
There's a few other things withthis Action, like I said, is
manifesting in motion, okay, somake sure that there's movement.
(22:25):
Boundaries are manifestation inprotect mode.
I mean, there is nothing wrong.
Like I said earlier, I don'tsay yes to everything.
So boundaries are good and youneed to know what your
boundaries are in order to reachthe goals that you want, and
(22:46):
saying no is clarifying.
Saying no is saying yes to yourdream.
Don't wait to feel ready.
Like I said, start moving,because your goals are waiting
for you.
I promise you that, and theywill respond to motion, not just
meditation or thinking.
(23:09):
This week, take one alignmentaction.
That means something thatmatches the life you're calling
the life you want.
Do one alignment action.
I would do it one a day.
I do probably 20, 50 a day, Idon't even know how many.
(23:31):
I'm constantly checking myselfand asking myself is this in
alignment with who I am, what Iwant, where I'm going?
Does it reach my goals?
If it doesn't do, I need todiscard it.
I will tell you that is goingthrough my head all the time and
(23:54):
I will tell myself things likeokay, ann, one of your goals is
to write another book.
Let's start writing a paragraphevery day.
Or, you know, make an outline,jot down thoughts.
I carry a book with me, so, like, if I think something, whether
it be for the podcast or for thebook or any kind of writing, I
(24:16):
write it down, even with my kids.
If it's something that I haveso much going on in my head and
I have ADHD, I have trauma brainlately, I really believe,
because of some things that havehappened I really think that
what we needed, I.
So what I do is I carry a bookwith me and I write it all down.
I'm constantly writing oh yeah,I need to call this person.
(24:39):
Oh yeah, I need to write thisperson for the podcast.
I got five emails today.
I need to check those.
I need to write the letters forour sponsorships.
Tina and I are working ondifferent things.
For that, I mean we need to.
I need to constantly just writeit down because, at the end of
the day, sometimes my life is socrazy I don't even know what I
(25:05):
did, what my thought was, so Ineed to see it in writing.
It really does help.
If it's too overwhelming to do10 steps, just do one step.
This is another thing that Idid, because I have a lot of
friends and I'll find myself allof a sudden realizing oh my
gosh, I've been so busy that Ihaven't talked to any of them.
(25:27):
So this is another thing that Ido, and this was really
important to me Connection eventhough I'm autistic, I can tell
you that connection is importantto autistic people.
Don't let them, don't letprofessionals tell you
differently.
We do need time by ourselves,sometimes more often, but
connection is important.
So what I find myself doing isand this is another
(25:51):
manifestation this goal typething, where you know, I've
established a core people thatare really important to me and
we all cheer each other on, andthey'll be like a week, two
weeks, whatever, and I've beenso in my stuff that I honestly
don't even know, like, how didthe time go?
(26:13):
It just went.
So I have a list of the peoplethat I want to connect with and
I will like check it off.
Check it off like yes, I did, Italked to this person two days
ago.
Okay, like yes, I did, I talkedto this person two days ago.
Okay, I'm good.
Oh gosh, I haven't talked tothis person in a month.
I need to make sure that I textthem and I do so.
(26:34):
You know, that's reallyimportant because I want to
manifest, I want to create thatthought into an action, into a
goal, and keep that relationshipgoing.
I think that that's reallyimportant.
Small steps are soul sized.
Small steps are soul-sized,they have a soul-sized impact
(27:00):
and if we want connection, if wewant that goal, we have to take
the small steps to get there.
I know I don't do this enough,and I could do this pretty often
actually, but I have a coupleguests that are coming up that
are really important guests.
(27:21):
Toni Stewart, which I alreadytalked about, is one.
Tamara Blue is coming up andshe is a brilliant mental health
professional who created herown space for mental health and
she believes in mental healthfor everybody, so we will be
talking about that.
You need to check her websiteout for mentalhappycom and
(27:44):
everything else about Tamar Blue.
She's an amazing human, but Iwanted to do this this week
because I don't get to.
I don't get to talk that much.
Last week I had Denise Bard onand I did that purposely because
I wanted to.
While Tina takes her summerbreak, I wanted to purposely get
(28:06):
on and talk.
I'm always interviewing otherpeople and I love hearing their
stories, but I also love toshare and I love to take the
knowledge and the wisdom thatI've gotten along the way and
share it with you.
Here's what I want to leavewith you.
Manifesting isn't magic and ittakes decades, years, months,
(28:38):
minutes, seconds, but you haveto do those.
You have to do it.
It takes a really long time.
One thing that I have learnedis that I have taken, and I
didn't know when I was incollege.
This is what I wanted to be.
I was going to be incommunications.
I was going to do journalism.
I was going to do TV.
I was going to do whatever itwas.
I was going to be incommunications.
I was going to do journalism.
I was going to do TV.
I was going to do whatever itwas I was going to do.
(28:59):
I don't know.
I was 20.
I didn't know what I wanted todo.
That changed to social work.
I had a lot of problems.
I really did have a genuinewant to help people, so I went
into social work, which led tolater a counseling degree to
(29:21):
social work, which led to latera counseling degree which led to
me working in the helpingprofession and many different
helping professions, landing agreat journalism print job which
led me to writing a book, whichled me to magazines, which led
me to being on the radio acouple times, which led to just
different things, many differentopportunities.
And so then you know, you takeeverything in your life.
(29:43):
I took the counseling degreesand I took the writing and the
journalism and the hard news andthe feature stories that I used
to do and the column that I hadand everything else.
And here we are now.
I combined all of that and theexperiences that I've had and
I'm doing the podcast.
(30:03):
If you would have asked me whenI was 20 if I would be doing
this, I would have said no 30s,no 40s.
You know, you never know whatyou're going to end up at.
Every single opportunity, openthe door and look at it.
Look at it, see if it's takingyou to where you want to be,
because you don't even know.
I didn't know that theseopportunities would lead me to
(30:26):
where I am.
But I am loving having theseopportunities.
I am loving who I am right now,having these chances to be able
to talk to all of you, meetpeople all over the country,
help meet people where they are,because that's what I believe
(30:47):
in meeting people where they areand us all going on this
journey together.
So manifesting isn't magic.
It's a partnership between yourheart and our heart, your
relationships, your hustle,whatever divine force you
believe in and me.
I believe in God and that thereis a God and I believe that
(31:10):
he's helping me get to where I'mgoing.
It's not too late.
I don't care if you're 80.
I don't care if you're 90.
I just did a podcast with a90-some-year-old lady and she's
amazing, amazing.
And there's another woman who's85, 86 years old and she's
running an entire program for abunch of city kids and she's
(31:33):
giving them hope and vision.
She's almost 90 and she's doingthat.
It is not too late, I'm tellingyou.
I had Betty Smith on thepodcast, the woman I just talked
about.
She went, I just watched her godown a parade.
She walked 2.2 miles and she isan amazing woman.
(31:53):
She's a visionary, still atalmost 90 years old.
The other lady that I had on thepodcast her name is Gwen Borden
and she is reaching so manypeople Just became an author
with her daughter.
For the very first time she'sgoing around speaking.
She was on this podcast.
She's been on many podcasts.
(32:13):
She's a visionary.
She's still reaching her dreams.
She's still living, as if herdream is, you know, 10, 20 years
away.
She's not going to stop, andmaybe it is.
She's got so much in her stills.
You don't quit living whenyou're still alive.
So, trust me, it is never toolate.
(32:35):
You're never too broken.
I have been as broken as itpossibly can be.
I have been down and out.
I have felt like I can't moveforward.
I was told that I wouldn'tgraduate high school because of
my disabilities.
I got a master's degree.
I was told that I wouldn't beable to hit a ball because my
(32:59):
eyes don't converge, and so Ihave a lot of vision problems
and spatial sense.
I hit home runs.
Well, I'm going to be honest, Imaybe hit one or two, but I did
it.
I was told I wouldn't be able toride a bike because I was, so
you know, I just couldn't figurethat out.
Anyway, I rode a unicycle in aparade, a six foot unicycle on a
(33:24):
parade.
I was told that I probablywouldn't be able to drive, and I
ended up driving a mail truckon the opposite side.
I mean, you know every singlething that they have told me I
can't do.
I say watch me, and that's all.
By manifesting and makingthings happen.
(33:44):
I know that I'm autistic.
I know that people could giveme a list of things of who I am
and what I should not be able toaccomplish.
I'm going to show you what wecan do, what people with autism
can do, what people withdisabilities can do, what people
with executive functioningissues, like I do, can do, and I
(34:07):
want to tell you this and I'mgoing to end here.
But there's people that if theyknew my dreams along the way,
they would have said you'recrazy, your dreams aren't crazy.
Reach for as high as you wantto go and don't let anybody tell
(34:27):
you that your dreams are crazy.
You are not crazy for believingthat more is possible.
That's brilliant.
You're brilliant.
You're brave.
Your past may explain you, butit doesn't define you, and I say
that all the time.
Don't let your past define youand don't let other people's
(34:47):
definitions of you define you,no way.
Your dreams are not silly.
Your dreams are sacred.
They are yours.
So today, take a step.
Speak one truth, write one,write something down.
(35:11):
Act on one of your goals.
Act on it, make it into amovement.
Take your thought and make itinto a movement.
You're not just manifesting alife, you're remembering the one
you were born to live.
You got to remember that.
That is so important.
You are remembering the onethat you were born to live.
You're way too important.
(35:33):
You're way too important.
You can make it happen.
It's up to you.
If you want it, think it.
If you want it, think thepositive.
Don't think the things that areagainst what you want, because
that's what your focus is.
Then.
Don't think about theroadblocks.
Think about the way to getaround the roadblocks.
(35:53):
I know you can do it becauseI've done it and I'm doing it
every single day.
I still have to correct myself,I still have to trust the
process, I still have to be okaywith where I'm at and start
with where I'm at.
So there you go.
You can too.
Well, I'm done, but we'll dothis again.
(36:14):
Thank you for joining me and atReal Talk with Tina and Anne
and I will see you next time.
World changers aren't pleasingeverybody, they're just not.
Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
I am Anne.
Wait a second.
There's no guest.
I have nobody to talk to.
Oh wait, I'm talking to you.
Yeah, I've done this before andit's been a while.
I came across something on theDrew Barrymore show the other
(00:45):
day and I really wanted to touchon it because it was very
interesting to me.
I honestly, you know what I dobelieve in manifestation.
I do believe in working hardfor something and going towards
something with everything inyour being.
Think it, believe it, act on itand it will happen.
(01:09):
It was a comment, it was HalleBerry, and I don't remember the
exact quote, but she saidsomething along the lines of
even when you're thinking aboutthe negative, about what you
don't want, or I mean thatyou're manifesting it.
(01:30):
So you need to think what youwant instead of think about what
you don't want, and that justblew me away.
I mean, I have never thoughtabout that before.
I spend way too much of my timethinking about what I don't
(01:51):
want or what just happened, orthe negative, or I do have to
say that I work really, reallyhard to help things get where
they need to be, and I would saymost of my day is that way and
(02:12):
I really believe in if you workhard, you will get there.
But her comment made me rethinkeverything that I've been doing
.
Yes, continue to do that.
But one of the things thatreally touched me when she said
(02:33):
that was wait a second.
I spend I can't even tell youhow much time of my day thinking
about the negative parts,pieces that have happened, and
how much has that affected theoutcome.
I bet I bet it's affected a lotof the outcome, and there's a
(02:59):
thing called thought stoppingand it's something that I have
believed in for a very, verylong time.
I have not been doing it and Ineed to get back to it.
It's where you really literallyjust stop your thought.
I forget how many days it is,I'll just say 21, because that's
(03:21):
a good number that I've heard,where you know if you do
something for 21 days and youestablish a new habit, those
kind of things, but your brainautomatically takes the course
that it's always taken and athought, it just automatically
goes there and that's why it thethought just goes that
direction and it takes effort toget your brain to think a
(03:43):
different way.
So I thought, the more I wasthinking about this I'd really
like to dive into.
You know the buzzword ofmanifesting.
Now I know that some of y'allhear that word and immediately
roll your eyes.
Like girl, I can't manifestmyself out of this pile of
(04:05):
laundry, let alone a dream life,and I get it because I
seriously am there.
But I'm not talking aboutwaving a magic wand and poop.
Now it would be great.
One of my favorite shows andstill is is Bewitched.
You know, wiggle your Nose or IDream of Jeannie and those
(04:27):
things would be amazing.
And I look at my housesometimes and I think, yeah,
that would be really great.
Just, you know poof.
But you know you can't wave amagic wand and your soulmate
appears or a six figure salary.
I'm talking about the real work.
I mean the real, the way youthink and aligning your beliefs
(04:47):
and your actions into somethingbigger, because manifesting
doesn't start when you've got itall together.
Let me say that again because Ineed to hear this.
Manifesting doesn't start whenyou've got it all together.
It often starts when your lifefeels like a beautiful disaster.
(05:09):
You know, pink is one of myfavorite singers in the world
and she has beautiful trauma,the beautiful trauma tour.
I thought that I would talk alittle bit about manifesting
from the middle of a mess, andyou can use whatever word you
want.
You can get rid of the wordmanifesting if you want, Because
some people, I think, have areally hard time with that word
(05:31):
and, honestly, it's just a callto action so you can kill the
myth right here.
You don't have to be perfectlywhole in any way, because,
honestly, are any of us no sobut you can manifest while
crying in the shower, you canmanifest when you're broke.
Broken why?
(05:52):
Because manifesting isn't aboutperfection, it's about
intention.
When I was at my lowest pointand I've had quite a few of
those, you know, those pointswhere your heart is just cracked
open I still whispered to Godand he was listening.
There's more than this.
(06:14):
I don't.
I didn't know what it lookedlike, I didn't know what was
coming my way was coming my way,but and I wasn't ready, and
that's the thing too I wasn'tready.
What's the definition of ready?
(06:37):
I think so many times we don'tthink that we're ready and we're
not.
But just taking that first step, just getting up off the floor
I don't know if anybody outthere has literally been on the
floor.
I mean, when you don't haveanything in you to even feel
like you can, surrenderingreally is the only option that
you have at that point.
Surrendering is not a weakness,it's actually power.
(07:00):
And it says I don't know how,but I know that I will, we can
start where we are.
I mean, that's all we have isto start right where we are.
What a gift that is to be ableto start where we are.
Manifesting doesn't ignore thepain.
(07:21):
It moves with it.
Thank God that even if we arein extreme pain, we can go with
it.
I just interviewed a man, tonyStewart, who's going to be on,
whose wife passed away fromcancer and he wrote this amazing
(07:41):
book called Carrying the Tiger.
I really recommend it.
But he learned through hisgrief to go through the waves
and to let the wave take himwherever it went and to be open
to wherever he ended up.
I mean manifesting doesn'tignore the pain.
(08:03):
You don't have to fakepositivity.
I mean manifesting doesn'tignore the pain.
You don't have to fakepositivity.
You just have to believe inpossibility, in chance.
That is.
There is so much there, becauselots of times we honestly don't
think that there's anything inus to be able to move forward.
(08:26):
But I believe.
I believe and I know for a factthat if you get up off of that
floor, if you take that firststep, if you grit and grind and
do whatever and think thepositive, you don't have to fake
the positive.
You just have to believe in thepossibility.
(08:50):
Now let's talk about the vision.
This isn't a vision board withluxury jets and beaches and that
kind of thing.
I'm not a beach gal anyway.
It's okay, I kind of like goingto the beach, but my idea of
fun is New York and LA.
So there we are.
(09:11):
But I'm talking about soul,vision, purpose alignment and
who are you becoming?
Who am I becoming?
That isn't that real.
And you're never too old toalign your thoughts with what
you want to become.
It's.
It's never too late, because ifyou don't know where you're
(09:35):
headed, how will you know whatto say yes to, what to say heck,
no to?
I mean, I get requests all thetime, even on the podcast, and I
have to be honest.
I always ask myself does thisalign with our mission, with our
vision?
(09:55):
So I don't always haveeverybody on, even if I think
that it might lead to somethingbigger and better.
I honestly want to make surethat it aligns with where we are
.
I have big dreams I really wantto manifest, not only for the
(10:17):
show, but also for my personallife.
I've got my own dreams andvisions and I know where I want
to be.
One of the things that I alwaysused to do with my swimmers and
this was a big deal I kept coastswimming.
For what was it?
12 years or something like that.
It was a long time, and one ofthe things that I would have
(10:38):
them do is visualize, stroke bystroke, you know, going off the
block, every single stroke,going down, doing the flip turn,
going back to the wall andhitting that wall, winning, I
mean.
And it could have just been abetter time, it could have been
whatever the winning meant forthat person.
It could have been fifth placeinstead of sixth place.
(11:01):
I just always wanted them to betheir best self, to go that one
extra.
So I always wanted them toclose their eyes.
I wanted them to close theireyes and imagine the version of
who they wanted to be in thewater.
But if we close our eyes andimagine the version of who we
want to be healed, whole,thriving, not perfect, but
(11:28):
peaceful, not perfect butpeaceful, entire being just
chill.
I mean I can't even tell youhow often I have that.
There is so much stress in mylife right now I can't even
(11:51):
begin to tell you.
But there are places that we go, that you go in your life where
you actually can feel, feel,where you can feel and, all out,
just chill, go over your wholeentire body.
I'm not talking cold, I'mtalking peace, where everything
just goes.
(12:12):
You just feel better internally.
It's just released and imaginethe version of you who is healed
, you who is whole, whateverthat whole might mean in your
eyes, and you who is thrivingRemember, not perfect, but
(12:35):
peaceful.
What do you believe aboutyourself?
I mean, I actually wrote thatdown.
What do you believe aboutyourself?
I believe I'm an amazing mom.
I believe that I give all daylong to others.
But who am I to me?
I don't even know if I couldanswer that question, but I can
(12:55):
tell you what I want to do.
I can tell you what I want togive out, and that is positive.
I want this show to be positive.
I want this show to touch otherpeople and show them.
Yes, I've been hurting too.
Yes, I've been down and out.
I have been on that floor, Ihave been to parts points in my
(13:19):
life where I didn't even feellike I could take that next step
, but I did.
I took that next step.
What do you believe aboutyourself, and how do you live
that out?
Do you live that out?
What do you want?
What do you believe aboutyourself?
Do those measure up?
(13:41):
Do your actions lead you towhere you're going, where you
want to go?
If not, then they might need tochange.
How do you walk into a room?
I mean, isn't that aninteresting question?
How do you walk into a roomroom, I mean, isn't that an
(14:02):
interesting question?
How do you walk into a room?
See, I'm such a real and rawperson.
I wear my heart on my sleevewhen it comes to the podcast and
when I help people and when Italk to people about my life and
my journey, and that's whatthis is all about.
But I have many.
I wear many hats.
I think we all do.
You know there are certainpeople, certain rooms that I'm
going to walk in differently.
There's certain rooms of peoplethat I'm not going to share,
(14:25):
who I am in my heart, unless youknow, I feel led to, and.
But you want to ask yourselfthat question how do you walk
into the room?
How do you want to be different?
How do you want people to seeyou walk into the room?
How do you want to be different?
How do you want people to seeyou?
I mean, that's really important.
(14:46):
Here's another question, youknow, is there something that I
need to do that I haven't doneyet to reach my goals?
Yes, there is.
Yes, there is, and Tina and Iare talking about it now.
And you know what?
How come the very thing thatwe're working really hard at to
become is also the very one ofthe very things that I could be
(15:07):
afraid of.
How come I know what I need todo?
All I need to do is just bamand it's done.
I think it's the feeling, thefeeling of failure.
I had a woman on recently Hername was Deborah Weed.
That's a good one, too Goodepisode and she said that she
(15:29):
did what she did with her booksand musicals and everything.
And she got to the point whereshe did it because she said,
what do I have to lose?
Did it because she said, whatdo I have to lose?
It's still.
Those words have resonated withme since I did that podcast
with her.
What do I have to lose.
So just do it.
(15:50):
What do you have to lose?
If you really want something, ifyou really want to manifest
something, you have to thinkpositive.
You have to think positive.
Your actions have to align withwhat your goal is.
This is a key.
Remove what is in your way.
Are there things in your waythat's keeping you from reaching
your goal that you have, frommanifesting what you want?
(16:12):
Sometimes it could be yourself.
Are you standing in the way?
In my case, yes, that is partly, and in the past I have done
that.
I've worked really hard on that.
I think my mind sometimes couldstand in the way of what I want
(16:32):
or what I believe, and I cantalk negatively about myself.
It is absolutely something thatI have to work on.
You know, one of the otherthings that I used to do with my
swimmers is I would give themreally positive quotes, and I
thought about coming on herewith some really positive quotes
(16:53):
because that's what we did.
But I want our listeners tocome up with their own mantras.
I don't want to come up withyour mantra.
Everybody has their own.
One of mine lately is trust theprocess and that's pretty cliche
, I guess, but I cannot tell youhow many times it goes through
(17:16):
my head, whether it's somethingwith a family member, something
with a podcast, whatever it isin my life, I instantly think.
My next thought is trust theprocess and then for some reason
, I'm able to let it go.
Whatever is going on, whateverI feel is negative or not
working, I feel at that timebecause I'm hoping that it will
(17:40):
go in a different direction Ijust say trust the process and
it instantly, just like thatthought, stopping.
That's what it does.
It makes me my thought go in adifferent direction and I
instantly trust where I am.
It doesn't even it might appearto me at that moment.
Maybe it's not where I want tobe, not where I thought that
(18:02):
this was going, but I have totrust where that moment.
Maybe it's not where I want tobe, not where I thought that
this was going, but I have totrust where I am in order to get
where I'm going.
The other part of this and I'vetouched on this is so many
people think that manifesting isjust thinking and when I worked
in the jail system, I remembera woman and I have talked about
(18:25):
this in other podcasts episodeswhere I said you know, we talked
about this type of thing and awoman in the jail said I pray to
your God all the time and itdoesn't work for me.
I don't get where I need to be.
And my simple question to herwas what are you doing?
(18:48):
Because there is.
If I could sit here all daylong and think what I want
that's not what I'm talkingabout with manifesting me is
actually an action.
Even my thoughts are positive.
They have to be positive, notalways, but then I try to change
(19:10):
it.
They need to.
Your thoughts need to bepositive.
Your actions need to align withyour thoughts to reach your
goal.
It 100% of an action, so it'snot just your thought, it is
absolutely movement.
If you want something, you haveto do something.
(19:31):
If you want connection, youhave to reach out.
If you want something different, you have to do something
different.
You want healing.
This one is a different kind ofaction because, like I just
said with tony stewart in thepodcast that I just the episode
that I just did with him, wetalked about actually sitting in
(19:52):
the pain, allowing the pain tobe in order to heal.
I mean that's really important,but sometimes an action is an
arrest type of situation.
You want purpose, show up.
I say this all the time.
I'm just going to keep showingup, even if I'm not ready.
(20:14):
Even if I'm not ready, I'mgoing to keep showing up.
If I want something, if I wanta job, if I want the podcast on
another radio station, if I wantwhatever it is, I need to show
up, even if I'm not ready.
I can get as ready as Ipossibly can and I'm still going
(20:34):
to fall short.
There's still something that Iwasn't ready for.
So there was a woman that I had, amy Guber, on one of the
podcasts with her mom it was agreat Mother's Day podcast and
she said she's the kind ofperson that jumps before the
parachutes opened, you know, orbefore she pulls the string or
(20:55):
something along those lines.
But you get what I'm talkingabout.
That's you know.
We need to jump even beforewe're ready.
You want to reach your dream.
You have to jump before you'reready.
You want to reach your dream.
You have to jump before you'reready.
I want to say this your dreamlife, whatever it is, whatever
that vision board, that perfectversion of what you want, your
(21:18):
dream life doesn't need aperfect version of you.
It needs a present version ofyou.
It needs a present version ofyou.
I spent way too much time in mylife worrying about where I've
been my past, whatever it was.
I spent way too much timeworrying about the things that
(21:39):
kept me from being my best self.
I worried way too much aboutthe things in the future of how
am I going to get there, how amI going to do these things, all
the present things that were waytoo overwhelming Instead of
just being in the present, inthe moment, being right where I
am.
I'll tell you if you want toget somewhere positive, get
(22:03):
where you want to be.
Manifest something from athought to an action, to a goal.
If that's what you want to do,you have to live in the present.
You have to.
There's a few other things withthis Action, like I said, is
manifesting in motion, okay, somake sure that there's movement.
(22:25):
Boundaries are manifestation inprotect mode.
I mean, there is nothing wrong.
Like I said earlier, I don'tsay yes to everything.
So boundaries are good and youneed to know what your
boundaries are in order to reachthe goals that you want, and
(22:46):
saying no is clarifying.
Saying no is saying yes to yourdream.
Don't wait to feel ready.
Like I said, start moving,because your goals are waiting
for you.
I promise you that, and theywill respond to motion, not just
meditation or thinking.
(23:09):
This week, take one alignmentaction.
That means something thatmatches the life you're calling
the life you want.
Do one alignment action.
I would do it one a day.
I do probably 20, 50 a day, Idon't even know how many.
(23:31):
I'm constantly checking myselfand asking myself is this in
alignment with who I am, what Iwant, where I'm going?
Does it reach my goals?
If it doesn't do, I need todiscard it.
I will tell you that is goingthrough my head all the time and
(23:54):
I will tell myself things likeokay, ann, one of your goals is
to write another book.
Let's start writing a paragraphevery day.
Or, you know, make an outline,jot down thoughts.
I carry a book with me, so, like, if I think something, whether
it be for the podcast or for thebook or any kind of writing, I
(24:16):
write it down, even with my kids.
If it's something that I haveso much going on in my head and
I have ADHD, I have trauma brainlately, I really believe,
because of some things that havehappened I really think that
what we needed, I.
So what I do is I carry a bookwith me and I write it all down.
I'm constantly writing oh yeah,I need to call this person.
(24:39):
Oh yeah, I need to write thisperson for the podcast.
I got five emails today.
I need to check those.
I need to write the letters forour sponsorships.
Tina and I are working ondifferent things.
For that, I mean we need to.
I need to constantly just writeit down because, at the end of
the day, sometimes my life is socrazy I don't even know what I
(25:05):
did, what my thought was, so Ineed to see it in writing.
It really does help.
If it's too overwhelming to do10 steps, just do one step.
This is another thing that Idid, because I have a lot of
friends and I'll find myself allof a sudden realizing oh my
gosh, I've been so busy that Ihaven't talked to any of them.
(25:27):
So this is another thing that Ido, and this was really
important to me Connection eventhough I'm autistic, I can tell
you that connection is importantto autistic people.
Don't let them, don't letprofessionals tell you
differently.
We do need time by ourselves,sometimes more often, but
connection is important.
So what I find myself doing isand this is another
(25:51):
manifestation this goal typething, where you know, I've
established a core people thatare really important to me and
we all cheer each other on, andthey'll be like a week, two
weeks, whatever, and I've beenso in my stuff that I honestly
don't even know, like, how didthe time go?
(26:13):
It just went.
So I have a list of the peoplethat I want to connect with and
I will like check it off.
Check it off like yes, I did, Italked to this person two days
ago.
Okay, like yes, I did, I talkedto this person two days ago.
Okay, I'm good.
Oh gosh, I haven't talked tothis person in a month.
I need to make sure that I textthem and I do so.
(26:34):
You know, that's reallyimportant because I want to
manifest, I want to create thatthought into an action, into a
goal, and keep that relationshipgoing.
I think that that's reallyimportant.
Small steps are soul sized.
Small steps are soul-sized,they have a soul-sized impact
(27:00):
and if we want connection, if wewant that goal, we have to take
the small steps to get there.
I know I don't do this enough,and I could do this pretty often
actually, but I have a coupleguests that are coming up that
are really important guests.
(27:21):
Toni Stewart, which I alreadytalked about, is one.
Tamara Blue is coming up andshe is a brilliant mental health
professional who created herown space for mental health and
she believes in mental healthfor everybody, so we will be
talking about that.
You need to check her websiteout for mentalhappycom and
(27:44):
everything else about Tamar Blue.
She's an amazing human, but Iwanted to do this this week
because I don't get to.
I don't get to talk that much.
Last week I had Denise Bard onand I did that purposely because
I wanted to.
While Tina takes her summerbreak, I wanted to purposely get
(28:06):
on and talk.
I'm always interviewing otherpeople and I love hearing their
stories, but I also love toshare and I love to take the
knowledge and the wisdom thatI've gotten along the way and
share it with you.
Here's what I want to leavewith you.
Manifesting isn't magic and ittakes decades, years, months,
(28:38):
minutes, seconds, but you haveto do those.
You have to do it.
It takes a really long time.
One thing that I have learnedis that I have taken, and I
didn't know when I was incollege.
This is what I wanted to be.
I was going to be incommunications.
I was going to do journalism.
I was going to do TV.
I was going to do whatever itwas.
I was going to be incommunications.
I was going to do journalism.
I was going to do TV.
I was going to do whatever itwas I was going to do.
(28:59):
I don't know.
I was 20.
I didn't know what I wanted todo.
That changed to social work.
I had a lot of problems.
I really did have a genuinewant to help people, so I went
into social work, which led tolater a counseling degree to
(29:21):
social work, which led to latera counseling degree which led to
me working in the helpingprofession and many different
helping professions, landing agreat journalism print job which
led me to writing a book, whichled me to magazines, which led
me to being on the radio acouple times, which led to just
different things, many differentopportunities.
And so then you know, you takeeverything in your life.
(29:43):
I took the counseling degreesand I took the writing and the
journalism and the hard news andthe feature stories that I used
to do and the column that I hadand everything else.
And here we are now.
I combined all of that and theexperiences that I've had and
I'm doing the podcast.
(30:03):
If you would have asked me whenI was 20 if I would be doing
this, I would have said no 30s,no 40s.
You know, you never know whatyou're going to end up at.
Every single opportunity, openthe door and look at it.
Look at it, see if it's takingyou to where you want to be,
because you don't even know.
I didn't know that theseopportunities would lead me to
(30:26):
where I am.
But I am loving having theseopportunities.
I am loving who I am right now,having these chances to be able
to talk to all of you, meetpeople all over the country,
help meet people where they are,because that's what I believe
(30:47):
in meeting people where they areand us all going on this
journey together.
So manifesting isn't magic.
It's a partnership between yourheart and our heart, your
relationships, your hustle,whatever divine force you
believe in and me.
I believe in God and that thereis a God and I believe that
(31:10):
he's helping me get to where I'mgoing.
It's not too late.
I don't care if you're 80.
I don't care if you're 90.
I just did a podcast with a90-some-year-old lady and she's
amazing, amazing.
And there's another woman who's85, 86 years old and she's
running an entire program for abunch of city kids and she's
(31:33):
giving them hope and vision.
She's almost 90 and she's doingthat.
It is not too late, I'm tellingyou.
I had Betty Smith on thepodcast, the woman I just talked
about.
She went, I just watched her godown a parade.
She walked 2.2 miles and she isan amazing woman.
(31:53):
She's a visionary, still atalmost 90 years old.
The other lady that I had on thepodcast her name is Gwen Borden
and she is reaching so manypeople Just became an author
with her daughter.
For the very first time she'sgoing around speaking.
She was on this podcast.
She's been on many podcasts.
(32:13):
She's a visionary.
She's still reaching her dreams.
She's still living, as if herdream is, you know, 10, 20 years
away.
She's not going to stop, andmaybe it is.
She's got so much in her stills.
You don't quit living whenyou're still alive.
So, trust me, it is never toolate.
(32:35):
You're never too broken.
I have been as broken as itpossibly can be.
I have been down and out.
I have felt like I can't moveforward.
I was told that I wouldn'tgraduate high school because of
my disabilities.
I got a master's degree.
I was told that I wouldn't beable to hit a ball because my
(32:59):
eyes don't converge, and so Ihave a lot of vision problems
and spatial sense.
I hit home runs.
Well, I'm going to be honest, Imaybe hit one or two, but I did
it.
I was told I wouldn't be able toride a bike because I was, so
you know, I just couldn't figurethat out.
Anyway, I rode a unicycle in aparade, a six foot unicycle on a
(33:24):
parade.
I was told that I probablywouldn't be able to drive, and I
ended up driving a mail truckon the opposite side.
I mean, you know every singlething that they have told me I
can't do.
I say watch me, and that's all.
By manifesting and makingthings happen.
(33:44):
I know that I'm autistic.
I know that people could giveme a list of things of who I am
and what I should not be able toaccomplish.
I'm going to show you what wecan do, what people with autism
can do, what people withdisabilities can do, what people
with executive functioningissues, like I do, can do, and I
(34:07):
want to tell you this and I'mgoing to end here.
But there's people that if theyknew my dreams along the way,
they would have said you'recrazy, your dreams aren't crazy.
Reach for as high as you wantto go and don't let anybody tell
(34:27):
you that your dreams are crazy.
You are not crazy for believingthat more is possible.
That's brilliant.
You're brilliant.
You're brave.
Your past may explain you, butit doesn't define you, and I say
that all the time.
Don't let your past define youand don't let other people's
(34:47):
definitions of you define you,no way.
Your dreams are not silly.
Your dreams are sacred.
They are yours.
So today, take a step.
Speak one truth, write one,write something down.
(35:11):
Act on one of your goals.
Act on it, make it into amovement.
Take your thought and make itinto a movement.
You're not just manifesting alife, you're remembering the one
you were born to live.
You got to remember that.
That is so important.
You are remembering the onethat you were born to live.
You're way too important.
(35:33):
You're way too important.
You can make it happen.
It's up to you.
If you want it, think it.
If you want it, think thepositive.
Don't think the things that areagainst what you want, because
that's what your focus is.
Then.
Don't think about theroadblocks.
Think about the way to getaround the roadblocks.
(35:53):
I know you can do it becauseI've done it and I'm doing it
every single day.
I still have to correct myself,I still have to trust the
process, I still have to be okaywith where I'm at and start
with where I'm at.
So there you go.
You can too.
Well, I'm done, but we'll dothis again.
(36:14):
Thank you for joining me and atReal Talk with Tina and Anne
and I will see you next time.
World changers aren't pleasingeverybody, they're just not.
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