March 12, 2025 • 56 mins
When was the last time you truly appreciated an ordinary moment? In this heartfelt conversation, we unpack the counterintuitive idea that mundane moments might actually be the most meaningful parts of our lives.
After recovering from a bout with influenza that swept through the family, we reflect on an elderly relative's wisdom: "Be thankful for just the regular, ordinary moments, because that means everything is okay." This perspective shift—from viewing mundane as boring to recognizing it as a sign that all is well—provides the foundation for our exploration of everyday experiences.
We share personal stories about the seemingly insignificant childhood moments that became core memories: a father's daily game of hide-and-seek, watching game shows with grandparents under a special blanket, or the comfort of family traditions. These mundane moments weren't just fillers between significant events—they were the very substance that shaped who we became.
Drawing wisdom from writers like Katie Christian, who notes that "99% of life is mundane and a person's life is a collection of all the moments that happen in the middle," we discuss practical ways to embrace ordinary experiences. From mindfulness techniques like engaging all five senses to creating deliberate moments of silence, we offer strategies for finding meaning in routine.
The conversation takes a poignant turn as we reflect on how, after losing loved ones, what we miss most isn't grand gestures but everyday interactions—their laugh, their cooking, their comforting presence. Through personal stories about treasured mementos like a grandfather's comb or a grandmother's candy dish, we illustrate how the mundane becomes precious in retrospect.
Join us to discover how slowing down, shifting perspective, and embracing simplicity might be the very keys to a richer, more meaningful life—one ordinary moment at a time.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
I am Tina and I am Anne.
Thanks for joining us.
Today.
We're gonna be diving into atopic that might sound a bit
counterintuitive at first, butit is learning to embrace the
mundane moments.
Sounds like a weird word,doesn't it?
Is it the way that it's written?
(00:20):
You know, mundane, I don't know.
My mouth struggles to say itsometimes, but recently I have
been reminded of what'simportant.
I don't know if you've been hitwith this yet, or any of our
listeners.
It is always top of mind,though.
My health and the health of myfamily Well, really came to the
forefront when we were sickrecently with the flu.
(00:41):
Influenza A kicked our butts.
It started with my oldest son,it went to myself and then to my
youngest.
Somehow knock on wood got to dothat.
My husband and my middle sonwere spared, but it actually hit
me in three different waves.
It was really, really wild, andso I am always thankful for my
health and now that we arerecovered and 100% better,
(01:06):
always thankful for my health.
And now that we are recoveredand 100% better, it always makes
me go back to being thankfulfor mundane moments, because it
means all is well and it'ssomething that I remember years
ago, my husband's grandmothersaying that be thankful for just
the regular, ordinary moments,because that means that
everything is okay.
You know there's no one in thehospital, there's nobody crying.
Just you know it's no one inthe hospital, there's nobody
crying.
Just you know.
It's just like okay, we're hereand we're just, we're okay.
(01:30):
But I do have to admit thatembracing mundane does feel hard
for me.
At the same time, just leadingup to us being sick, I started
to feel bad about myself, likebored of doing the same thing
every single day and just kindof wishing away the days for the
warmer weather to arrive.
(01:51):
So I think so many of us areused to rushing and we're
striving for the next big thingand we're waiting for the
extraordinary to come along.
But I think it's important thatwe look to the ordinary,
because I think that's whatmakes things come alive.
If we could find joy and peaceand meaning in the small and
seemingly insignificant momentswe experience every day, how
(02:13):
great would that be.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
The small things are the things that I really
remember and the things that Igenuinely love and embrace about
my life today.
The mundane, the everydaythings, those are the things
that become core memories.
I think, and you know, with mykids and my parents, and I can
(02:43):
go to every little thing that mydad would do or that my mom
would do, or some things with myaunts, and I'm telling you what
that's, who made me, those arethe things that made me who I am
.
You know, my dad.
This was so great, but he usedto always meet me at the end of
my block when I was at swimmingand he was my biggest
(03:07):
cheerleader and that was a smallthing.
Some people would just say, youknow, he was always there and
that was a small thing.
Or maybe that kiss that hewould give me before he would go
to work.
And one of my favorite memoriesand this is absolutely
hilarious and I just love thismemories and this is absolutely
(03:29):
hilarious and I just love this.
Um, my dad used to, every singlenight when he would get home
from work, he would look for meand I would hide.
You know, I would always pick adifferent place in the house
and he would have oh where's Ann, where is she?
Even if he would find me, he'dstill be like where is she?
It was so cute.
Well, he had to go to thebathroom one day before he
(03:53):
actually started looking for meand I had hid in the bathroom
under the sink.
There was like this little umalcove or something, just this
little thing under the sink, andI went in it and I see him come
in.
I thought he was going to belooking for me and then I hear
him going to the bathroom.
And so what did you do, did you?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
stay under the sink.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
In my like four year old self or however old I was, I
was still really young I went,you know, I had to sneak a peek
and then like stick my head out,like is this really happening?
And so I like stuck my head outto look and see what was
happening, and he happens to hitme, glance me in the corner of
(04:42):
his eye and I hear this get outof here.
And I was, I ran out of thereso fast, but it was absolutely
so funny.
So you know what, sometimesthose mundane things that you do
every day, actually turns intosomething kind of fun or not fun
.
Yes, it becomes a memory thatyou never forget.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Oh yeah, that is definitely unforgettable.
So I totally agree.
And I want to go back tosomething I said right before we
started talking about this, andit was.
I started to feel bad aboutmyself for kind of wishing some
of these days away because it'sbeen a little bit cold and rainy
where we live.
But the real reality of it is inthe daytime I feel great, there
(05:30):
are a lot of things going on,but in the late afternoon and
into the evening, when my kidshave sports practices five
nights a week and it's myself athome with our little guy and
then one of our other kids,given the day at home with our
little guy and then one of ourother kids, given the day, I
just start to feel like, are wereally going to do the same
(05:50):
thing over and over and over?
Like can we play the same threegames over and over?
Can we watch the same showagain?
It starts to feel so monotonous.
So I'm trying to change it up alittle bit and if I can't just
give myself grace and go throughjust that mundane and be happy
about it because we're not sickanymore, you know it means
(06:12):
nobody's hurt or in trouble oranything like that.
So trying to trying to reallyembrace that.
But as you're talking aboutthat funny story, there are just
a few that stick out to me.
One of my favorite holidays isApril Fool's Still to this day I
love to prank people,especially those I love, and I
(06:33):
used to get my dad all the timeand the one time I covered the
toilet seat with saran wrap andhe didn't see it.
And first thing in the morninghe went to the bathroom and oh
boy, did I get a verbal lashing.
After that he said if I ever dothat again, I'm cleaning up the
mess.
So I never did do that again,but that one, that one,
(06:54):
definitely stands out to me.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You remember it, don't you?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Oh, I remember it, I do.
And it's funny that we'retalking about mundane, because I
do remember several years agoit was a day in April where I
was walking.
It was just my oldest son and Iand it was the best, most
simple day ever and I rememberit and we were just walking
around the block, just beingoutside.
I mean literally, that was it.
(07:17):
But I remember that day justlike, oh, everything is just
right in the world, isn't that?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
when things feel perfect, yeah, it isn't anything
going.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Honestly, most of the time feeling that feeling that
you're talking about is in themundane.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
It really is like with my son, who I'm
homeschooling now.
I mean like we'll take walks orwe'll just, you know, do
something simple, and it justfeels so right.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It does.
No, it certainly does.
Well, let's explore how toembrace these mundane things.
So I'll start with a questionwhy do we often overlook the
mundane?
And to answer that, in myopinion, I think it's because we
think that ordinary issomething we should just pass
(08:07):
through as we're trying to getto extraordinary.
So, you know, one of the thingsI'll go back to is my really
big hike in 2023.
I hiked the Kalalau Trail inKauai, Hawaii.
Do I remember that?
Absolutely.
Did I train hard for it?
Absolutely, but that was also acouple weeks out of my entire
life.
Will I remember it?
(08:27):
Yes, but all of those littlethings are what make up an even
bigger part of my life.
I hope that's making sense andI think you know, sometimes
we're trying to go throughsomething as quickly as possible
, maybe because it just like Iwas saying earlier, it feels
like I'm Groundhog Day.
You're living the same day overand over and over.
(08:47):
But when we stop and reflect,we realize then that those
moments are adding up.
They're a huge part of ourlives in so many ways, and they
hold more value than the bigevents we celebrate.
At least they can.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Absolutely.
I would say that, just like Italked about earlier with my dad
, I mean, those are the thingsthat I remember and will take to
my grave, and the same thingwith my kids here.
It's playing a game with mykids or something like that, and
I agree with you.
There are times where my kidsare watching the same show for
(09:23):
the fifth time, or, you know,it's just feels like we wake up
breakfast, school, lunch, youknow, with my one son, or
whatever, and you know I work onthings clean the house, maybe
clean the same room for the 10thtime, and it does feel that way
.
But I'll tell you what.
Going back to what we saidearlier, those are the times
(09:46):
where everything feels okay andyou don't need that extra in
order to be happy.
It's okay to do those thingsonce in a while.
That's what vacations are, for,which you don't take vacation
all the time those times are for, but the rest, hopefully,
prayerfully, you can havemundane moments.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
You know, as I'm sitting here again just thinking
back over memories, some of mymost favorite memories growing
up were with my aunt, where sheand I would play Monopoly for
hours at a time while we ateTostitos it's a tradition, I'd
sleep over her house and wewould do that all the time and
to this day.
(10:30):
Tostitos are still one of myfavorite things and Monopoly is
one of my favorite games.
Don't play it often because itdoes take such a long time, but
I think what we're getting athere is the time, like the time
that someone invested in you andthe connection that you have,
like you and your dad, your gameof hide and seek.
You looked forward to it.
Maybe it wasn't to someone themost exciting thing, but it
(10:51):
mattered to you and look at theimpression that it left.
Again, mundane can be magicaland I think it truly is.
So I get a daily email.
It's called the Good Trade andit's one of my favorite.
I only read a couple of emails,either every day or every week.
When I say a couple, I mean twoto three, maybe five at the
most if we're talking weekly.
(11:12):
I love reading the Good Tradebecause it always gives you
something to chew on.
Mundane days was the topic ofconversation in a recent email.
Was the topic of conversationin a recent email and in it I
loved what writer and podcasterKatie Christian said.
She said I sometimes fear thatI'm losing myself to the
redundancy and that's what we'vebeen talking about.
(11:35):
She said it's not that shefeels lonely in the season as
much as she feels bored, beingby herself so often and in the
throes of a fairly monotonousroutine.
She sometimes fears that she'slosing herself to redundancy and
her actions, conversations,thoughts, she says, begin to
kind of blur together, and I cantotally relate to that.
(11:57):
But what I really loved was howshe talked about next, of
pondering the idea of cyclicalliving, what it looks like to
stop resisting a life that feelsand looks entirely ordinary or
even mundane.
What does it mean to choose aquiet and unassuming life?
Are there benefits to oureveryday looking the same?
Do we cultivate patience, astronger sense of self?
(12:20):
And then she says the truth is,99% of life is mundane and a
person's life is a collection ofall the moments that happen in
the middle.
I really couldn't agree more.
Yeah, there are the big things,like you talked about, the
adventures and the vacations,and we do need those.
It's almost like it boosts.
It boosts us and keeps us going.
(12:42):
But it's those unassuming partsthat fill in the blank pages
and shape us into who we are.
I love it.
That's exactly what it is yeah,and so she goes on to talk
about.
Think about maybe one of yourfavorite adventure books from
childhood, so maybe, where oneof the main characters embarks
(13:04):
on a brave quest and, yes, theyslayed the dragon, but that was
never the whole story.
Was it In the chapters that wedidn't get to read?
Those characters returned hometo their very ordinary lives,
working and playing and eatingand caring for their families,
and perhaps then it's not justthe dragon slaying that shapes
(13:25):
us, but also the moments beforeand after.
So there's all of this reasonto embrace what we might be
thinking, feeling or living ismundane, but it does get us to.
It gets us not even, I don'teven want to say gets us through
life.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
It helps, boost us and really is the foundation, I
think, of each of our lives yeah, I mean, because of how crazy
my life is right now, I'm kindof craving some normal and I am
finding myself doing everythingI can to come back to center and
I kind I think mundane for meis center and and I'm just it's
(14:07):
more than a craving, I mean Ineed it and it's like sitting
there with a cup of coffee, withmy cat on my lap, you know,
maybe watching a show, watchingmy kids play with laughter.
I love listening to them.
Downstairs we have this areawhere they just play and they
just it.
Just the sound of them havingfun comes up and it just makes
(14:31):
my day, it makes my whole heartsmile.
And the routine that I know andexpect you know, expect that's
a big one the morning routineall the way until bed, when
there is not much going onexcept for a peaceful day, just
a peaceful.
The crazier things get, themore I reach for the mundane.
(14:55):
I can tell you, the things Iwanted in my childhood was the
mundane of everyday swimpractice, getting together with
my friends, going dancing everyThursday night when I got older,
with my friends laying with myanimals.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I just love routine, and what it represents to me is
safety.
It just represents safety.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah, that's so good.
I really feel like my oldestson values that the most out of
our children and I think he canrelate to that so much and I can
too.
It's really a funny spot for meto be in right now, as we're
talking about mundane, and I saythat I feel that way in the
evenings because, you're right,like in the daytime it's just
(15:44):
really weird.
It's like day and night in mylife is different, and I'm
actually looking forward tohectic summer schedules with
sports and things like that,just to give us more time
outside something else to do.
You know, something that isplanned and maybe eventually it
does get mundane, because it'sthe same thing.
You know I'm watching morebaseball or you know something
like that, but you know thingswith my mom are not mundane and
(16:09):
you know there's I'm not themost organized person when it
comes to my kids' schoolwork andI feel like they bring home a
million papers every single day.
But I, I just it's I'm okaywith that aspect of it and it's
I don't know.
I just I feel like I'm I'm okaywith mundane sometimes and then
(16:31):
others I'm just reaching forsomething to do because of just
going back to that whole boredomthing, but like we were talking
about getting us back toappreciating this time, knowing
that it's going to pick up, yeah, should be enough in and of
itself.
Isn't it hard to just?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
sit.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah, it is.
It's even harder for me to andI'm not sure that I've done it
in recent months at all to shutmy brain off and truly be
present.
That's been really hard for me.
My brain is just going, going,going, going going and so I try
to, you know, do mindfulbreathing and things like that
to try to help calm it down.
But I'll tell you what it justgoes a mile a minute.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
You and I talked about this the other night, the
other day, because we text eachother, sometimes late, and you
know, I mean we both haveadmitted that our nights can be
really hard.
Yeah, and that's when I've gotour family dying.
I'm dying, everything is reallyawful.
And then I wake up andeverything is fine and you know,
(17:32):
great day.
And then night comes, the houseis silent.
I start thinking, my braintakes over, yeah, it's over.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yeah, I can totally relate.
Well, let's talk about then andwe've touched on some of these
things but what it actuallymeans to embrace mundane, is it
about slowing down?
Is it about being present?
Maybe it's about shifting ourperspective and finding beauty,
the small joys, the meaningthat's hidden in everyday tasks
(18:02):
that we often overlook.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
That's hidden in everyday tasks that we often
overlook.
Yeah, I absolutely do thinkthat it's in the everyday tasks
that we do overlook, and some ofthose tasks are just things
like picking up the phone.
And I'll tell you, I can't waitnow to call my daughter, who
(18:25):
lives in Pennsylvania, to callher every Sunday at least, or a
couple times during the week totalk, and that just warms my
heart.
I need that and she needs that,and those are the kind of
things that we really, reallyneed.
And it again brings me back tothat, that safety feeling and
(18:46):
that everything is okay.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, well, you've mentioned that every day, things
can be so meaningful, and I doagree.
Maybe we don't see it at thetime, but it all adds up, so
let's dive into more.
What are some examples ofmundane moments that can become
meaningful?
So I'm thinking about theeveryday acts.
(19:10):
You know, maybe it's makingyour morning coffee or tea, or
doing the dishes.
Listen, I don't know how thatcan be meaningful.
Okay, I'm kidding, my husband'schore is to do the dishes and
let me tell you, it brings greatmeaning to me.
It is something that warms myheart.
It helps me feel prepared forthe day.
With all the cooking that wehave to do, with food allergies,
I'm like super grateful and itis a big part of I know it
(19:35):
sounds silly, but it's a bigpart of why I love him, because
he really does take charge ofthat chore and does it
consistently and I need that.
I need that.
You know it could be maybetaking a walk.
You know some of these thingsmight sound so trivial, but what
if we changed our perspectiveand we started looking at them
(19:55):
as opportunities for mindfulness, gratitude and even creativity?
So something I've started doingis, as I'm starting to feel
bored kind of, in the monotonyof things, I have started to
take up watercolor painting.
I've just yeah, I've looked atstuff that I really, really like
(20:17):
and I have just I'm self-taughtif you will, I've only done it
a handful of times, but I'mactually really loving what I'm
creating and I find that I'mgetting more creative and it's
inspiring my kids to want to doit with me.
So it's like a mundane momentturned into creativity.
(20:37):
That involved all of my kiddosand we're really enjoying it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
We do that with a puzzle also.
You know I love to draw and artand paint and that kind of
stuff and I've been doing thatwith the kids and we'll all sit
around the table with a bunch ofpaint in the middle in our
canvas and we will all createand it's really fun.
I mean, that's, that's whatit's all about is coming
(21:05):
together in something so simpleand not exciting, you know, like
the thrill of something, butjust sitting and being calm and
putting something together likea puzzle or making the ordinary
come to life.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
You know I do have a a quote that's right along that
topic next to my stove becauseI'm cooking so much that reminds
me.
You know it says teach kids to.
You know, learn how to cry whenpets and people die.
And it talks about make youknow love the ordinary, because
it'll make, it'll turn thingsinto extraordinary.
(21:42):
It'll work itself out assomething like that.
It's a great quote.
I probably just really botchedit.
Extraordinary It'll work itselfout as something like that.
It's a great quote.
I probably just really botchedit.
But the gist of it is theordinary has so much joy in it.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
You know.
Talking about cooking, can Ijust mention something?
My whole life I was kept out ofthe kitchen as a kid.
No, because I always made Idon't have depth perception I
spilled everything.
I made a mess, it was get outof the kitchen Never taught.
Then I, you know, when I wastrying to raise my older two,
(22:13):
everything just I cannot.
My executive functioning is notthat great.
I read a recipe and it justcomes apart, you know.
It's like well, that's what itwas supposed to look like, you
know.
Anyway, I am finding thesevideos on TikTok in places where
they actually have the video.
I can watch it and do it.
(22:34):
I am slaying it.
I am loving this new chapter inmy life where things are really
crazy or whatever, and I'lljust say oh, you know what, I'm
going to make this or I'm goingto make that, and I've been
starting to cook.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Good for you.
It's like your respite.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
It is.
Isn't that crazy?
Because the thing that used tolike I really felt that I was a
failure at, I guess now I'mbecoming kind of good at it in a
fun way.
It really is bringing a joy tomy life that I didn't really
think would ever, so it's kindof fun.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
That's really cool.
I love that for you.
Well, if you're having troublefiguring out how to reframe
mundane your perspective on it,maybe this, maybe we can help
you.
So it's not exactly aboutseeking out excitement.
It's really not at all aboutthat.
It's about changing how weapproach what is already around
(23:31):
us.
So, by focusing on the details,like the warmth in the cup of
coffee or tea that's in yourhands, or the rhythm of washing
dishes, or knowing that you'redoing it because you love
someone so much I mean no, doesanybody really love washing
dishes?
No, but the act of service thatyou're doing, I think, is what
you could find a little bit ofjoy in.
(23:52):
So I'm thinking even the soundsof the birds outside, or you
know, every time I hear birdsoutside, I think, oh, we're
closer to spring, you know it'scoming, it's coming.
I think there's something to besaid about finding presence and
calm in the routine.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Well, one of my favorite memories of one of my
favorite aunts was that shewould sit with me when I was a
young child and look at a bookabout birds and I still have the
book and look at a book aboutbirds and I still have the book.
And she passed away actually along time ago but I would call
(24:34):
her because I couldn't say Ruby,you know, I couldn't say her
name.
So she became Aunt Birdie untilthe day she died and I was very
much an adult when she well,yeah, I would say in my young
adult when she became, when shepassed away.
But yeah, she was Aunt Birdieuntil then and I still call her
(24:57):
that when I refer to her as that.
You know, she used to tell meabout all the birds.
And another aunt of mine, hersister, when she passed away I
was the closest living relativeand they told me that I could go
in and take whatever I wantedout of her apartment.
(25:21):
I mean, that's a really hardthing, crazy thing, where
everything it just comes down totheir belongings in a room and
it's just so sad.
But they told me that I couldgo in there and so it just came
down to.
I wanted a bowl that she alwayshad her candy in, that she
(25:49):
always had her candy in a birdmusic box that I had given her.
You know those kind of thingsand I have a box of my dad's
stuff and a box of my mom'sstuff and her glasses and Bible
and my dad's shoe and I actuallyhave them up in a shelf right
over here where I can see someof them.
But those are the things thatreally matter and those are the
mundane things that those arethe things that become special.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
You're so right.
When we embrace moments likethat and we can cultivate a
deeper sense of peace, werealize that life isn't about
those big milestones and grandadventures.
Sure, those are fantastic partsof us, but they're just tiny
parts of us.
It is those little moments, thequiet ones, that actually shape
who we are.
(26:33):
And I love how you're talkingabout those little things that
you found, because when myGerman grandfather passed away,
I got his comb.
Why did I get his comb?
Because every time it rains Ithink of him.
He used to go.
I used to work with him at hisbusiness that he owned and I was
the secretary there, andwhenever it would rain and he
(26:54):
had somewhere to go he was bigtime into soccer he would just
go stick his head outside.
You know, like this, let therain hit it and he'd come in and
just comb his hair.
Water everywhere and he alwayssaid, oh, I got to bottle that
up because rainwater makes myhair the softest.
So I love that I got his combbecause it makes me think of him
(27:15):
.
And, like you, when mygrandmother passed away the day
after my second son was born,talk about living with joy and
grief in literal moments thatfeel like I couldn't even
distinguish them.
But I got the blanket that sheused to always cover me up with
when I was a little girl.
That, just when I see it.
I remember the hours that weused to watch Price is Right or
(27:36):
Wheel of Fortune, when I wouldbe over there and she'd cover me
with that blanket and she'dscratch my back for so long and
always would say, okay, can Istop now?
And I'd be like no, so she'dkeep going somehow.
So that blanket reminds me ofthat and I have her candy dish
and my love for watching gameshows stemmed from that.
And it's those little moments.
(27:57):
They never took me and I don'tmean this like in any mean way.
They didn't ever take me on anygrand vacation, but they
included me in the things thatthey did.
So I would go with them totheir bowling matches on
whatever night that was that Idon't remember but or whatever
morning it was maybe it was amorning Now.
I just remember going and Inever felt like I was a chore to
(28:17):
them.
They were happy to bring mealong for the ride Again,
nothing spectacular, but to meit was the best thing.
I was loved and I felt that forsure.
And so again, mundane is whereit's at.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah, well, my son.
He still refers to Jeopardy asour show.
It's so funny because wewatched it a few times.
We don't get to watch it veryoften together, but he calls it
our show whenever he sees it andthen he says oh, we just have
to watch that together, you know?
So those really are the things.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Okay.
So before we go a little deeperor maybe flip the script, if
you will wanted to take just abrief pause to reflect.
I feel like we need to practicewhat we preach, right?
So let's think about yourmorning today.
Was there a moment you rushedthrough without thinking what if
you stopped for just a secondto fully experience it?
(29:18):
So maybe we'll just take aminute here and I'll kind of
fill the time by talking throughit one more time.
Think about your morning today.
Was there a moment you rushedthrough without thinking?
So maybe think about, well, whydid I do that?
Or maybe look back at it andwhat could I get out of it next
time?
Or how can I reframe it nexttime?
Maybe that it feels mundane orI feel rushed, but I want it to
(29:43):
be a little slower.
What could you do to maybechange that?
So, moving on, if you are likemost of us, you might have a
tendency to rush.
I kind of feel like that's whatour culture pushes a lot of the
time, but I really can'tstrongly encourage you enough to
try something this week.
(30:03):
Slow down and notice the smallmoments, maybe write them down.
I've actually been doing thatParticularly.
I have the most moments with myyoungest son because my older
two kids are in school full timebut he is not, and so I've been
writing down some of the reallycute or funny moments that
we've shared or things that he'sdone or said, particularly this
(30:25):
week, and it's really cute togo back and remember to share
that story with my husband orhis brothers and just to have
for down the road.
So maybe if you this week youcan slow down, notice those
small moments and then see ifyou can find a new appreciation
for them or any appreciation atall.
(30:47):
If they're kind of just goingby and you're not thinking about
it, notice how it shifts yourmood and your perspective.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
You know how I know that this is true is that I'm a
big picture person.
Everything about I love takingpictures.
I mean, I think people get sickof me taking pictures, but I'm
a photographer.
And so I mean, I think peopleget sick of me taking pictures,
but I'm a photographer and so Imean you're going to have me
taking pictures of you, that'sif you're around me, there's
going to be a picture, and Ilove it, by the way.
(31:20):
When I look back and those inthe memories, you know, when you
have a Facebook account andthey bring up the memories and
things like that, and you lookat something that happened maybe
five years ago and my son islike three or something like
that and he's laughing and it'sjust this big joy and I see him
(31:41):
now and I just think how fast,how fast, those pictures that I
have remind me of.
They might have seemed mundaneat the time, but they were such
a deep, core memory, beautiful.
(32:01):
It shows who we were, who theyare, who they were at that time.
It defines who we were in amoment in time or maybe we did
do it all the time, but it'sjust so important to bring those
memories with us and I knowthat that's true because I also
have lost just about so manypeople that are in those
(32:22):
pictures and so I don't think ofthe really outrageous things
when I think of them.
I think of those everyday,mundane things that I miss about
them.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Yeah, how they made you feel, I bet, is what you
remember Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Yes, absolutely.
You know my aunt, another aunt,my Italian aunt, the one I was
named after.
Aunt Anna was her name and shespoke a lot of Italian and she
used to make all of her noodlesbecause she was from Italy and
everything was fresh, right.
I mean, she didn't ever followeven a recipe.
(33:01):
I mean she just did a dab ofthis and a dab of that and blah,
blah, and she would make thisamazing meal.
You know, a dab of this and adab of that, and she would make
this amazing meal, you know, andshe would send me, and I
couldn't wait for those figcookies to get to me in the mail
.
They were the best things everand they were wrapped with love,
they were made with love, youknow, and those are the kind of
(33:22):
things.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Absolutely.
That's so good, that's so sogood.
You know, I think so many of usmyself included, our listeners
and those watching can go rightdown memory lane now and just
nod their heads like, yes, yes,I remember moments like that in
my life and that we go back andwe look at the baby books or we
(33:44):
look at the wedding album or welook at the memories, because if
you don't go back to rememberthem, you will start to forget,
because there's only so muchstorage that we have in our
brains, long-term, short-termand so I think I would like to
start this year.
I saw a friend do this everyyear on her kids' birthdays.
(34:05):
She brings out the scrapbooksand she talks about the day that
they were born, and I love that.
You know, like my oldest son, hehas no idea that the day that
he was born it was in July, andI was in the hospital, there was
a tornado warning and what theydid to was hysterical.
Okay, you know, a hospital roomis, I don't even know, five by
(34:28):
eight, I'm not sure it's tiny,okay, and there's a window in
there.
And so they said make sure yougive mom, the baby who just had
a C-section, me.
And they moved me sort ofdiagonal from the window about
(34:48):
three feet from where I was.
That was it.
I was like I kind of thoughtthat maybe, like my husband
should go out in the hallwaywith the baby.
You know, it just thinks likethat.
It makes us laugh still to thisday.
But I'm not even sure that Iever shared that story with my
oldest son, and so wouldn't thatbe a fun thing to know Of
course you had a baby during atornado, right Of course you did
(35:10):
.
Yeah, isn't that funny.
But I'm not even sure that I'veever told him that story.
So I thought that's such agreat idea to be able to go back
and look at those books andreminisce about when he was born
.
That's a great idea 'm.
I think I'm going to do thatbecause you do.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
You start to forget if you don't remember there's a
lady that I watch on TikTokthat's going to be 100 and her
granddaughter I think she liveswith her or something but she is
interviewing her constantlyabout every little thing in her
life, the mundane things in herlife, and she is documenting
(35:53):
everything in her life.
You know, right now on TikTokfor people to see and for her
workforce to have forever, and Ithink that that's just the most
beautiful thing.
Like what was your husband likewhen he dated you?
Did you drive when you were 16?
Did you?
And she talks about everythingthat was going on in the world
(36:14):
and with her and it's just sucha great thing.
It's so fun to watch.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Oh, I love that.
You'll have to share that withme sometime.
I will.
It sounds great, Okay.
Well, I wanted you, Anne, totalk for a second.
There's a quote that I got fromthe Good Trade.
Amy Ann Cadwell said simplicityis a kind of sanctuary.
Slow down to settle into loveand appreciation for your life
just as it is.
Tell us a little bit about whenyou were preparing for this
(36:44):
episode.
How did it make you feel?
Speaker 2 (36:46):
before I started preparing for the episode, there
was nothing calm in me, nothing.
The second that you sent me theideas and all the quotes and
everything that you had writtenout for the episode, I instantly
felt a calm.
I instantly did Writing aboutit, thinking about it, just
(37:08):
spending time with it justchanged my entire being on the
inside.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
I love that.
It's the mundane, the magic ofthe mundane, and that
perspective shift.
I'm so, so glad.
Well, let's talk about the flipside.
You know, anne had said earlier, maybe life goes at warp speed,
and I would agree.
Even in my mundane there arestill warp speed moments and you
want to know how to make itslow down.
Well, gandhi said there's moreto life than increasing its
(37:38):
speed, and I really love that.
So Jay Shetty has a podcasthe's the host of On Purpose, and
he talks about some steps to bemore present when life is
flying by, and I thought wecould go over some of these,
because some of them I'm likewow, yeah, I never thought about
it in that frame of mind, andso maybe this will help you too.
(38:01):
So one of the first things hetalked about in the podcast was
getting up 20 minutes before youactually need to, because that
sets the tone for calm and spacefirst thing in the morning.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
I agree, it really does.
When the house is quiet, I'llgo downstairs before people
start moving, sometimes, if I amable, or stay up late when
everybody goes to bed and justtake in just soak in the quiet.
I do the treadmill during thosetimes.
I can read, I can listen to anaudio book, I can write.
(38:36):
And that's me, that is my time,and I don't get it very often.
I crave it and you can't getany more mundane than that, I
think.
But I mean it's, I just craveit and I need it.
I need it.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
I think people who do it would absolutely agree that
it is a necessary part of life.
That's a catch-22.
In the summer I find I'm moreinclined to get up a little
earlier.
I get up early as it is, youknow, around 5, 5.30.
So it's already like oh, Idon't know that I want to get up
in the four o'clock hour, butsometimes I'm able to do that,
(39:13):
but again, mostly when it's alittle bit warmer outside, but
especially on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
if I'm the first one up, there's just nothing more
relaxing than just having alittle bit of space.
Could you imagine never beingable to live in the mundane or
come back to center?
Could you imagine that?
Speaker 1 (39:32):
You'd be constant chaos.
No, I personally my personality, would not thrive in that
situation.
That would be too overwhelmingfor me.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah, I think it's something that for our mental
health, for our physical health,I think that that's the way
we're built.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I would agree.
Well, one of the things thatJay Shetty also talked about was
using only one device at a time.
How many times have you foundyourself maybe you're watching a
show, but you have your phonein your hand, you know, or
you're talking on the phone andyou're, you know, doing just all
kinds of things.
I guess, technically, if youwere cooking and having a device
(40:12):
in your hand, that that wouldbe considered one thing.
But a lot of the time, if I'mcooking, I have a radio on, so
that's a device.
And I think the whole point is,you know, so, if and I would
even go as far to say if you'redriving, that is the device and
that is the only thing that youshould be doing in those moments
.
You know, if it's the phone,then that's the device, and the
(40:34):
whole purpose is to keep alittle more focused.
You know he talked aboutsomething really interesting in
his podcast and it was abouttexting and driving.
He polled the people who were inhis class, say, and he said how
many of you feel like you cando more than one thing at the
(40:54):
same time?
And most everybody raised theirhand and he asked how many of
you think that you're good attexting and driving?
And a lot of people raisedtheir hand and you know people
would say oh well, you know Ican have my phone in one hand
and the steering wheel in theother and didn't really see a
problem with it.
Well, you know I can have myphone in one hand and the
steering wheel in the other anddidn't really see a problem with
it.
So then he had other peoplethat were in the room and they
(41:15):
stood up and said well, now we'dlike to share our story.
We lost a loved one to someonewho was texting and driving.
They they hit and killed myloved one, and he said.
Almost every single one ofthose people who raised their
hand and said that they wereproud.
You know that they were able totext and drive were in tears
over what happened to thosefamilies and the hope was that
(41:37):
it would make them think twicebefore, thinking that that was a
smart thing to do.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
I don't text and drive, but I do find myself
watching TV with my phone.
I do that a lot.
I like to play games on myphone sometimes or just do
things that don't make me think.
You know, the hardest thing forme, I think, is to let my brain
be in silence.
(42:03):
Then my brain starts takingover, and I don't like listening
to my thoughts a lot of times.
So what I do is I want the TVon, I want a noise in the room
so it can stop me from thinking.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
I can relate.
We want something to just kindof veg out, numb out, and I get
it, but maybe just one device ata time so the brain's not on
overload, is kind of what he'stalking about.
Then he talked about taking 30seconds to engage all five
senses.
That's just a grounding thing.
So it's the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
And I don't remember how it allgoes, but I think five things
(42:40):
you can see, four things you canhear, three things you can
smell, and I honestly can'tremember two things you can
touch.
Maybe or maybe the touch is thefive.
Anyway, you could look up the5-4-3-2-1 method and it would
come up.
But it's just engaging all ofyour senses.
So, grounding yourself,centering yourself Okay, what is
up around me right now?
(43:00):
Okay, what do I feel, what do Isee, what do I hear.
And then it like internalizesyou to where you're paying
attention to your body and itsneeds.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Yeah, it works.
They do it at school.
A couple of my kids go to aspecial school and I know in
other programs that they've beenin to help special needs kids
they use that, so it's a greatgrounding.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
Oh, it's so good to know.
Yes, I need to do that moreoften.
I'm really good at the what doI hear and what do I see, and
sometimes you know what do Ismell If I.
It's actually something thathelps with my anxiety a bit.
So I do that, just not not asoften, but I do try to make my
kids aware of their surroundingsby telling them at times you
(43:45):
know to to do those things.
I thought this next one wasreally really interesting Obey
the speed limit.
And this is because it willpurposely help you slow down.
And it does go back to thattexting and driving scenario
that I shared just a few minutesago.
You getting there four minutesearlier may not make any
(44:10):
difference, but it could be allthe difference in someone else's
life.
In other words, if you hitsomeone, you know if you get
into a crash.
So that's what he's talkingabout with obey the speed limit.
I'd never thought about whatthat could have you know for
helping you kind of slow down ifthings are getting too fast
could happen.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
And it's OK if somebody is behind you and
they're mad and they're beepingor whatever.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
I mean you know You've got to block that stuff
out.
It's not worth it.
So, of course, one of the otherthings that was talked about was
being present with your breathto align your body and mind, and
I know that this is true.
It's a technique that we use inyoga, and I'm looking forward
to my upcoming yoga class,because I haven't gone in a few
weeks with sickness, and I'mreally looking forward to
(44:55):
reconnecting with my breath.
I can tell when my anxiety getstoo high for whatever reason.
I can go back to my breath andit really does help, so much so
that I put my pulse ox on and Ilike to watch what happens.
When I really control mybreathing.
It really does.
It does work.
Like I can feel I'm getting astomach ache and so I'm like
okay, it's time to startbreathing and you can.
(45:17):
You can either watch theanxiety go up or down by being
mindful of your breath when Iput the pulse ox on.
And you know what else is funnyabout that?
It's kind of like a good liedetector test.
My husband and I were doingthis just for fun, asking each
other.
It was actually me asking himjust silly questions, and when
he would lie, you could see theheart rate go up on the pulse.
(45:39):
It was really fun and so I'd belike you're lying.
And at first he was like, well,how do you know?
And I said, because your heartrate's telling me everything I
need to know right now, and hejust started laughing.
It was I don't even know thesilly questions that I was
asking, but it was a fun tool todo and use.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
I was going to mention the heart rate because
you know, I have my Fitbit andand, yeah, when, when I get more
anxious or whatever, I mean,yeah, my heart rate goes up.
Yeah, I always know when I'vehad a really anxious day or not.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Yeah, I want that to help better monitor myself.
Okay, so the next thing is findand create moments of silence
every day.
This is what we've talked aboutthroughout the podcast.
That can be really, really hard, but listen.
Your brain, my brain, all ofour brains need time to
decompress from all of theprocessing it's doing all day
(46:35):
long.
You need that silence and inthat silence you could focus on
your breath or you could focuson mindfulness, the 5-4-3-2-1
technique, any of those things.
It is important, even just afew minutes.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
How many times do we go through something and we're
like just wait, I need toprocess this.
I need time before I doanything, say anything, and we
do.
We need to process what ishappening throughout our day
sometimes and it's good for ourmental health Again we need it
(47:10):
and I don't think that you'reever going to find the time to
do that.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
I think you have to purposely make it.
There are so many times whereI'm like I need to process this
and I don't process it because Idon't make the time for it.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
When I used to be the director of the battered woman
shelter, we would go through somuch in a day, even shelter.
We would go through so much ina day, even, and we would make
it a point to all come togetherand decompress, talk, you know,
process the things that hadhappened before.
We would actually leave, checkin with each other, make sure
that we were okay, you know, andthat kind of stuff, and I think
(47:46):
that you have to do that.
Speaker 1 (47:49):
I agree, one of my favorite ways to kind of slow
down or to get re-centered is bybeing in nature or even look at
nature.
Okay, so we were made.
Humans were made to be part ofnature.
We just were.
We were meant to crave it andlike being outside.
So if you feel drawn to it,that's why you can look up all
(48:11):
the science.
I'm not just saying that, it'strue, it's how we were made and
it really does have a way ofhealing us.
You're feeling a little bitstagnant or stalled or upset.
(48:33):
I'm like, okay, I got to get upand move and, plus, I love
watching what all the animals do.
I mean, nature can tell us somany things and you know what
else.
Nature is cyclical and maybesome find that mundane, but I
find that beautiful knowing whatwe can expect out of nature in
(48:55):
the seasons.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Don't you?
Yeah, I absolutely do, and Ilove hiking too.
I love going outside with mykids throwing the leaves up in
the air or whatever.
You know, I have several placesin nature that I love to just
sit and be calm.
Do you have a favorite naturespot?
Speaker 1 (49:13):
So there is a local park that is one of my all-time
favorites and it's by water andthere are picnic tables there
and it has this one dead tree inamongst all the others that
just stands out and I find it tobe absolutely beautiful.
(49:36):
And then, across the way acrossthe pond, is this other tree
that blooms beautifully in thespring and in the fall, and in
the fall it's always neatbecause half of it is one color
while the other half is adifferent color, and it just
reminds you about the change ofseasons and maybe the hard and
(49:59):
the beautiful all together.
And so I like to go to the spot.
It's been my comfort for avariety of losses and it's been
my comfort to just go and enjoythe absolute beauty that it is.
So there is a particular spotthat I have and, honestly, a
particular picnic table that hasjust been my home away from
(50:23):
home when I need to process orwhen I need to grieve, or when I
need to just take in sunshineand beauty and just think.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
Yeah, trees are huge to me.
I have even written poetryabout trees.
I have a whole section of abook that I have placed
someplace.
You know about trees and theyspeak to me.
It's like a.
And they speak to me it's likea.
(50:54):
It's really a personal thing tome.
And you talked about a deadtree.
I mean so I don't know.
They're all.
they all have their personality,they have a story, each and
every each and every tree has astory, and birch birch trees are
some of my favorites.
We have a tree in our yard thatpeople actually stop and say,
oh my gosh.
You have a redwood tree in youryard which you know.
(51:16):
It's really rare in our area tohave something like that, so
you have a redwood tree?
Speaker 1 (51:23):
We do.
I didn't know that becausearen't those the big trees that
you see out west?
Yes, wow, that is prettyspectacular.
Well, I think trees are sointeresting and, as I have just
dabbled in the interview processfor trying to get an additional
job to work from home, I'vebeen kind of researching
(51:46):
different interview questionsand someone said, well, what if
you were asked what kind of treeyou would be?
And I thought for a moment andmy answer is a palm tree.
And they said, well, why?
And I said because it canweather the storms, it is strong
, I love it, but it doesn'tbreak.
And so that is the tree I wouldpick if I was asked that
(52:10):
question.
And so, just like you're saying,I think there, you know, some
trees are softer than others,some people are softer than
others, some trees can bend andnot break, and some people can
do the same thing.
I think there's a lot we canactually relate to, not even
just with trees, but nature ingeneral way that we see things
is so unique to each of us.
I would just encourage you tofind what you connect with and
(52:34):
just keep looking at it fromdifferent perspectives and
remember the mundane can be somagical.
It's something we should lookfor, the joy in those moments
every single day, because Ireally truly believe that is the
heart of who we are single day,because I really, truly believe
that is the heart of who we are.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
We are not the crazy and the you know all the time
and we're constantly searchingto come back to center.
So you know everybody that'slistening here.
I really encourage you to findyour center and find out where
your family lives in a center,so you guys can experience that
together, because that's whensome of our biggest joys are.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
Absolutely Well.
Thank you all of you forlistening to Real Talk with Tina
and Anne.
We hope that you will embracesimplicity and mundane in your
daily life, and if you find thatyou're struggling too, we hope
you'll come back to this episodeand start to think about ways
that this week you can make thathappen.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
Thank you for listening to Real Talk with Tina
and Anne and we will see younext time.
Hey there, welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
I am Tina and I am Anne.
Thanks for joining us.
Today.
We're gonna be diving into atopic that might sound a bit
counterintuitive at first, butit is learning to embrace the
mundane moments.
Sounds like a weird word,doesn't it?
Is it the way that it's written?
(00:20):
You know, mundane, I don't know.
My mouth struggles to say itsometimes, but recently I have
been reminded of what'simportant.
I don't know if you've been hitwith this yet, or any of our
listeners.
It is always top of mind,though.
My health and the health of myfamily Well, really came to the
forefront when we were sickrecently with the flu.
(00:41):
Influenza A kicked our butts.
It started with my oldest son,it went to myself and then to my
youngest.
Somehow knock on wood got to dothat.
My husband and my middle sonwere spared, but it actually hit
me in three different waves.
It was really, really wild, andso I am always thankful for my
health and now that we arerecovered and 100% better,
(01:06):
always thankful for my health.
And now that we are recoveredand 100% better, it always makes
me go back to being thankfulfor mundane moments, because it
means all is well and it'ssomething that I remember years
ago, my husband's grandmothersaying that be thankful for just
the regular, ordinary moments,because that means that
everything is okay.
You know there's no one in thehospital, there's nobody crying.
Just you know it's no one inthe hospital, there's nobody
crying.
Just you know.
It's just like okay, we're hereand we're just, we're okay.
(01:30):
But I do have to admit thatembracing mundane does feel hard
for me.
At the same time, just leadingup to us being sick, I started
to feel bad about myself, likebored of doing the same thing
every single day and just kindof wishing away the days for the
warmer weather to arrive.
(01:51):
So I think so many of us areused to rushing and we're
striving for the next big thingand we're waiting for the
extraordinary to come along.
But I think it's important thatwe look to the ordinary,
because I think that's whatmakes things come alive.
If we could find joy and peaceand meaning in the small and
seemingly insignificant momentswe experience every day, how
(02:13):
great would that be.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
The small things are the things that I really
remember and the things that Igenuinely love and embrace about
my life today.
The mundane, the everydaythings, those are the things
that become core memories.
I think, and you know, with mykids and my parents, and I can
(02:43):
go to every little thing that mydad would do or that my mom
would do, or some things with myaunts, and I'm telling you what
that's, who made me, those arethe things that made me who I am
.
You know, my dad.
This was so great, but he usedto always meet me at the end of
my block when I was at swimmingand he was my biggest
(03:07):
cheerleader and that was a smallthing.
Some people would just say, youknow, he was always there and
that was a small thing.
Or maybe that kiss that hewould give me before he would go
to work.
And one of my favorite memoriesand this is absolutely
hilarious and I just love thismemories and this is absolutely
(03:29):
hilarious and I just love this.
Um, my dad used to, every singlenight when he would get home
from work, he would look for meand I would hide.
You know, I would always pick adifferent place in the house
and he would have oh where's Ann, where is she?
Even if he would find me, he'dstill be like where is she?
It was so cute.
Well, he had to go to thebathroom one day before he
(03:53):
actually started looking for meand I had hid in the bathroom
under the sink.
There was like this little umalcove or something, just this
little thing under the sink, andI went in it and I see him come
in.
I thought he was going to belooking for me and then I hear
him going to the bathroom.
And so what did you do, did you?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
stay under the sink.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
In my like four year old self or however old I was, I
was still really young I went,you know, I had to sneak a peek
and then like stick my head out,like is this really happening?
And so I like stuck my head outto look and see what was
happening, and he happens to hitme, glance me in the corner of
(04:42):
his eye and I hear this get outof here.
And I was, I ran out of thereso fast, but it was absolutely
so funny.
So you know what, sometimesthose mundane things that you do
every day, actually turns intosomething kind of fun or not fun
.
Yes, it becomes a memory thatyou never forget.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Oh yeah, that is definitely unforgettable.
So I totally agree.
And I want to go back tosomething I said right before we
started talking about this, andit was.
I started to feel bad aboutmyself for kind of wishing some
of these days away because it'sbeen a little bit cold and rainy
where we live.
But the real reality of it is inthe daytime I feel great, there
(05:30):
are a lot of things going on,but in the late afternoon and
into the evening, when my kidshave sports practices five
nights a week and it's myself athome with our little guy and
then one of our other kids,given the day at home with our
little guy and then one of ourother kids, given the day, I
just start to feel like, are wereally going to do the same
(05:50):
thing over and over and over?
Like can we play the same threegames over and over?
Can we watch the same showagain?
It starts to feel so monotonous.
So I'm trying to change it up alittle bit and if I can't just
give myself grace and go throughjust that mundane and be happy
about it because we're not sickanymore, you know it means
(06:12):
nobody's hurt or in trouble oranything like that.
So trying to trying to reallyembrace that.
But as you're talking aboutthat funny story, there are just
a few that stick out to me.
One of my favorite holidays isApril Fool's Still to this day I
love to prank people,especially those I love, and I
(06:33):
used to get my dad all the timeand the one time I covered the
toilet seat with saran wrap andhe didn't see it.
And first thing in the morninghe went to the bathroom and oh
boy, did I get a verbal lashing.
After that he said if I ever dothat again, I'm cleaning up the
mess.
So I never did do that again,but that one, that one,
(06:54):
definitely stands out to me.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You remember it, don't you?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Oh, I remember it, I do.
And it's funny that we'retalking about mundane, because I
do remember several years agoit was a day in April where I
was walking.
It was just my oldest son and Iand it was the best, most
simple day ever and I rememberit and we were just walking
around the block, just beingoutside.
I mean literally, that was it.
(07:17):
But I remember that day justlike, oh, everything is just
right in the world, isn't that?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
when things feel perfect, yeah, it isn't anything
going.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Honestly, most of the time feeling that feeling that
you're talking about is in themundane.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
It really is like with my son, who I'm
homeschooling now.
I mean like we'll take walks orwe'll just, you know, do
something simple, and it justfeels so right.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It does.
No, it certainly does.
Well, let's explore how toembrace these mundane things.
So I'll start with a questionwhy do we often overlook the
mundane?
And to answer that, in myopinion, I think it's because we
think that ordinary issomething we should just pass
(08:07):
through as we're trying to getto extraordinary.
So, you know, one of the thingsI'll go back to is my really
big hike in 2023.
I hiked the Kalalau Trail inKauai, Hawaii.
Do I remember that?
Absolutely.
Did I train hard for it?
Absolutely, but that was also acouple weeks out of my entire
life.
Will I remember it?
(08:27):
Yes, but all of those littlethings are what make up an even
bigger part of my life.
I hope that's making sense andI think you know, sometimes
we're trying to go throughsomething as quickly as possible
, maybe because it just like Iwas saying earlier, it feels
like I'm Groundhog Day.
You're living the same day overand over and over.
(08:47):
But when we stop and reflect,we realize then that those
moments are adding up.
They're a huge part of ourlives in so many ways, and they
hold more value than the bigevents we celebrate.
At least they can.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Absolutely.
I would say that, just like Italked about earlier with my dad
, I mean, those are the thingsthat I remember and will take to
my grave, and the same thingwith my kids here.
It's playing a game with mykids or something like that, and
I agree with you.
There are times where my kidsare watching the same show for
(09:23):
the fifth time, or, you know,it's just feels like we wake up
breakfast, school, lunch, youknow, with my one son, or
whatever, and you know I work onthings clean the house, maybe
clean the same room for the 10thtime, and it does feel that way
.
But I'll tell you what.
Going back to what we saidearlier, those are the times
(09:46):
where everything feels okay andyou don't need that extra in
order to be happy.
It's okay to do those thingsonce in a while.
That's what vacations are, for,which you don't take vacation
all the time those times are for, but the rest, hopefully,
prayerfully, you can havemundane moments.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
You know, as I'm sitting here again just thinking
back over memories, some of mymost favorite memories growing
up were with my aunt, where sheand I would play Monopoly for
hours at a time while we ateTostitos it's a tradition, I'd
sleep over her house and wewould do that all the time and
to this day.
(10:30):
Tostitos are still one of myfavorite things and Monopoly is
one of my favorite games.
Don't play it often because itdoes take such a long time, but
I think what we're getting athere is the time, like the time
that someone invested in you andthe connection that you have,
like you and your dad, your gameof hide and seek.
You looked forward to it.
Maybe it wasn't to someone themost exciting thing, but it
(10:51):
mattered to you and look at theimpression that it left.
Again, mundane can be magicaland I think it truly is.
So I get a daily email.
It's called the Good Trade andit's one of my favorite.
I only read a couple of emails,either every day or every week.
When I say a couple, I mean twoto three, maybe five at the
most if we're talking weekly.
(11:12):
I love reading the Good Tradebecause it always gives you
something to chew on.
Mundane days was the topic ofconversation in a recent email.
Was the topic of conversationin a recent email and in it I
loved what writer and podcasterKatie Christian said.
She said I sometimes fear thatI'm losing myself to the
redundancy and that's what we'vebeen talking about.
(11:35):
She said it's not that shefeels lonely in the season as
much as she feels bored, beingby herself so often and in the
throes of a fairly monotonousroutine.
She sometimes fears that she'slosing herself to redundancy and
her actions, conversations,thoughts, she says, begin to
kind of blur together, and I cantotally relate to that.
(11:57):
But what I really loved was howshe talked about next, of
pondering the idea of cyclicalliving, what it looks like to
stop resisting a life that feelsand looks entirely ordinary or
even mundane.
What does it mean to choose aquiet and unassuming life?
Are there benefits to oureveryday looking the same?
Do we cultivate patience, astronger sense of self?
(12:20):
And then she says the truth is,99% of life is mundane and a
person's life is a collection ofall the moments that happen in
the middle.
I really couldn't agree more.
Yeah, there are the big things,like you talked about, the
adventures and the vacations,and we do need those.
It's almost like it boosts.
It boosts us and keeps us going.
(12:42):
But it's those unassuming partsthat fill in the blank pages
and shape us into who we are.
I love it.
That's exactly what it is yeah,and so she goes on to talk
about.
Think about maybe one of yourfavorite adventure books from
childhood, so maybe, where oneof the main characters embarks
(13:04):
on a brave quest and, yes, theyslayed the dragon, but that was
never the whole story.
Was it In the chapters that wedidn't get to read?
Those characters returned hometo their very ordinary lives,
working and playing and eatingand caring for their families,
and perhaps then it's not justthe dragon slaying that shapes
(13:25):
us, but also the moments beforeand after.
So there's all of this reasonto embrace what we might be
thinking, feeling or living ismundane, but it does get us to.
It gets us not even, I don'teven want to say gets us through
life.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
It helps, boost us and really is the foundation, I
think, of each of our lives yeah, I mean, because of how crazy
my life is right now, I'm kindof craving some normal and I am
finding myself doing everythingI can to come back to center and
I kind I think mundane for meis center and and I'm just it's
(14:07):
more than a craving, I mean Ineed it and it's like sitting
there with a cup of coffee, withmy cat on my lap, you know,
maybe watching a show, watchingmy kids play with laughter.
I love listening to them.
Downstairs we have this areawhere they just play and they
just it.
Just the sound of them havingfun comes up and it just makes
(14:31):
my day, it makes my whole heartsmile.
And the routine that I know andexpect you know, expect that's
a big one the morning routineall the way until bed, when
there is not much going onexcept for a peaceful day, just
a peaceful.
The crazier things get, themore I reach for the mundane.
(14:55):
I can tell you, the things Iwanted in my childhood was the
mundane of everyday swimpractice, getting together with
my friends, going dancing everyThursday night when I got older,
with my friends laying with myanimals.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I just love routine, and what it represents to me is
safety.
It just represents safety.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah, that's so good.
I really feel like my oldestson values that the most out of
our children and I think he canrelate to that so much and I can
too.
It's really a funny spot for meto be in right now, as we're
talking about mundane, and I saythat I feel that way in the
evenings because, you're right,like in the daytime it's just
(15:44):
really weird.
It's like day and night in mylife is different, and I'm
actually looking forward tohectic summer schedules with
sports and things like that,just to give us more time
outside something else to do.
You know, something that isplanned and maybe eventually it
does get mundane, because it'sthe same thing.
You know I'm watching morebaseball or you know something
like that, but you know thingswith my mom are not mundane and
(16:09):
you know there's I'm not themost organized person when it
comes to my kids' schoolwork andI feel like they bring home a
million papers every single day.
But I, I just it's I'm okaywith that aspect of it and it's
I don't know.
I just I feel like I'm I'm okaywith mundane sometimes and then
(16:31):
others I'm just reaching forsomething to do because of just
going back to that whole boredomthing, but like we were talking
about getting us back toappreciating this time, knowing
that it's going to pick up, yeah, should be enough in and of
itself.
Isn't it hard to just?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
sit.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah, it is.
It's even harder for me to andI'm not sure that I've done it
in recent months at all to shutmy brain off and truly be
present.
That's been really hard for me.
My brain is just going, going,going, going going and so I try
to, you know, do mindfulbreathing and things like that
to try to help calm it down.
But I'll tell you what it justgoes a mile a minute.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
You and I talked about this the other night, the
other day, because we text eachother, sometimes late, and you
know, I mean we both haveadmitted that our nights can be
really hard.
Yeah, and that's when I've gotour family dying.
I'm dying, everything is reallyawful.
And then I wake up andeverything is fine and you know,
(17:32):
great day.
And then night comes, the houseis silent.
I start thinking, my braintakes over, yeah, it's over.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yeah, I can totally relate.
Well, let's talk about then andwe've touched on some of these
things but what it actuallymeans to embrace mundane, is it
about slowing down?
Is it about being present?
Maybe it's about shifting ourperspective and finding beauty,
the small joys, the meaningthat's hidden in everyday tasks
(18:02):
that we often overlook.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
That's hidden in everyday tasks that we often
overlook.
Yeah, I absolutely do thinkthat it's in the everyday tasks
that we do overlook, and some ofthose tasks are just things
like picking up the phone.
And I'll tell you, I can't waitnow to call my daughter, who
(18:25):
lives in Pennsylvania, to callher every Sunday at least, or a
couple times during the week totalk, and that just warms my
heart.
I need that and she needs that,and those are the kind of
things that we really, reallyneed.
And it again brings me back tothat, that safety feeling and
(18:46):
that everything is okay.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, well, you've mentioned that every day, things
can be so meaningful, and I doagree.
Maybe we don't see it at thetime, but it all adds up, so
let's dive into more.
What are some examples ofmundane moments that can become
meaningful?
So I'm thinking about theeveryday acts.
(19:10):
You know, maybe it's makingyour morning coffee or tea, or
doing the dishes.
Listen, I don't know how thatcan be meaningful.
Okay, I'm kidding, my husband'schore is to do the dishes and
let me tell you, it brings greatmeaning to me.
It is something that warms myheart.
It helps me feel prepared forthe day.
With all the cooking that wehave to do, with food allergies,
I'm like super grateful and itis a big part of I know it
(19:35):
sounds silly, but it's a bigpart of why I love him, because
he really does take charge ofthat chore and does it
consistently and I need that.
I need that.
You know it could be maybetaking a walk.
You know some of these thingsmight sound so trivial, but what
if we changed our perspectiveand we started looking at them
(19:55):
as opportunities for mindfulness, gratitude and even creativity?
So something I've started doingis, as I'm starting to feel
bored kind of, in the monotonyof things, I have started to
take up watercolor painting.
I've just yeah, I've looked atstuff that I really, really like
(20:17):
and I have just I'm self-taughtif you will, I've only done it
a handful of times, but I'mactually really loving what I'm
creating and I find that I'mgetting more creative and it's
inspiring my kids to want to doit with me.
So it's like a mundane momentturned into creativity.
(20:37):
That involved all of my kiddosand we're really enjoying it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
We do that with a puzzle also.
You know I love to draw and artand paint and that kind of
stuff and I've been doing thatwith the kids and we'll all sit
around the table with a bunch ofpaint in the middle in our
canvas and we will all createand it's really fun.
I mean, that's, that's whatit's all about is coming
(21:05):
together in something so simpleand not exciting, you know, like
the thrill of something, butjust sitting and being calm and
putting something together likea puzzle or making the ordinary
come to life.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
You know I do have a a quote that's right along that
topic next to my stove becauseI'm cooking so much that reminds
me.
You know it says teach kids to.
You know, learn how to cry whenpets and people die.
And it talks about make youknow love the ordinary, because
it'll make, it'll turn thingsinto extraordinary.
(21:42):
It'll work itself out assomething like that.
It's a great quote.
I probably just really botchedit.
Extraordinary It'll work itselfout as something like that.
It's a great quote.
I probably just really botchedit.
But the gist of it is theordinary has so much joy in it.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
You know.
Talking about cooking, can Ijust mention something?
My whole life I was kept out ofthe kitchen as a kid.
No, because I always made Idon't have depth perception I
spilled everything.
I made a mess, it was get outof the kitchen Never taught.
Then I, you know, when I wastrying to raise my older two,
(22:13):
everything just I cannot.
My executive functioning is notthat great.
I read a recipe and it justcomes apart, you know.
It's like well, that's what itwas supposed to look like, you
know.
Anyway, I am finding thesevideos on TikTok in places where
they actually have the video.
I can watch it and do it.
(22:34):
I am slaying it.
I am loving this new chapter inmy life where things are really
crazy or whatever, and I'lljust say oh, you know what, I'm
going to make this or I'm goingto make that, and I've been
starting to cook.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Good for you.
It's like your respite.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
It is.
Isn't that crazy?
Because the thing that used tolike I really felt that I was a
failure at, I guess now I'mbecoming kind of good at it in a
fun way.
It really is bringing a joy tomy life that I didn't really
think would ever, so it's kindof fun.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
That's really cool.
I love that for you.
Well, if you're having troublefiguring out how to reframe
mundane your perspective on it,maybe this, maybe we can help
you.
So it's not exactly aboutseeking out excitement.
It's really not at all aboutthat.
It's about changing how weapproach what is already around
(23:31):
us.
So, by focusing on the details,like the warmth in the cup of
coffee or tea that's in yourhands, or the rhythm of washing
dishes, or knowing that you'redoing it because you love
someone so much I mean no, doesanybody really love washing
dishes?
No, but the act of service thatyou're doing, I think, is what
you could find a little bit ofjoy in.
(23:52):
So I'm thinking even the soundsof the birds outside, or you
know, every time I hear birdsoutside, I think, oh, we're
closer to spring, you know it'scoming, it's coming.
I think there's something to besaid about finding presence and
calm in the routine.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Well, one of my favorite memories of one of my
favorite aunts was that shewould sit with me when I was a
young child and look at a bookabout birds and I still have the
book and look at a book aboutbirds and I still have the book.
And she passed away actually along time ago but I would call
(24:34):
her because I couldn't say Ruby,you know, I couldn't say her
name.
So she became Aunt Birdie untilthe day she died and I was very
much an adult when she well,yeah, I would say in my young
adult when she became, when shepassed away.
But yeah, she was Aunt Birdieuntil then and I still call her
(24:57):
that when I refer to her as that.
You know, she used to tell meabout all the birds.
And another aunt of mine, hersister, when she passed away I
was the closest living relativeand they told me that I could go
in and take whatever I wantedout of her apartment.
(25:21):
I mean, that's a really hardthing, crazy thing, where
everything it just comes down totheir belongings in a room and
it's just so sad.
But they told me that I couldgo in there and so it just came
down to.
I wanted a bowl that she alwayshad her candy in, that she
(25:49):
always had her candy in a birdmusic box that I had given her.
You know those kind of thingsand I have a box of my dad's
stuff and a box of my mom'sstuff and her glasses and Bible
and my dad's shoe and I actuallyhave them up in a shelf right
over here where I can see someof them.
But those are the things thatreally matter and those are the
mundane things that those arethe things that become special.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
You're so right.
When we embrace moments likethat and we can cultivate a
deeper sense of peace, werealize that life isn't about
those big milestones and grandadventures.
Sure, those are fantastic partsof us, but they're just tiny
parts of us.
It is those little moments, thequiet ones, that actually shape
who we are.
(26:33):
And I love how you're talkingabout those little things that
you found, because when myGerman grandfather passed away,
I got his comb.
Why did I get his comb?
Because every time it rains Ithink of him.
He used to go.
I used to work with him at hisbusiness that he owned and I was
the secretary there, andwhenever it would rain and he
(26:54):
had somewhere to go he was bigtime into soccer he would just
go stick his head outside.
You know, like this, let therain hit it and he'd come in and
just comb his hair.
Water everywhere and he alwayssaid, oh, I got to bottle that
up because rainwater makes myhair the softest.
So I love that I got his combbecause it makes me think of him
(27:15):
.
And, like you, when mygrandmother passed away the day
after my second son was born,talk about living with joy and
grief in literal moments thatfeel like I couldn't even
distinguish them.
But I got the blanket that sheused to always cover me up with
when I was a little girl.
That, just when I see it.
I remember the hours that weused to watch Price is Right or
(27:36):
Wheel of Fortune, when I wouldbe over there and she'd cover me
with that blanket and she'dscratch my back for so long and
always would say, okay, can Istop now?
And I'd be like no, so she'dkeep going somehow.
So that blanket reminds me ofthat and I have her candy dish
and my love for watching gameshows stemmed from that.
And it's those little moments.
(27:57):
They never took me and I don'tmean this like in any mean way.
They didn't ever take me on anygrand vacation, but they
included me in the things thatthey did.
So I would go with them totheir bowling matches on
whatever night that was that Idon't remember but or whatever
morning it was maybe it was amorning Now.
I just remember going and Inever felt like I was a chore to
(28:17):
them.
They were happy to bring mealong for the ride Again,
nothing spectacular, but to meit was the best thing.
I was loved and I felt that forsure.
And so again, mundane is whereit's at.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah, well, my son.
He still refers to Jeopardy asour show.
It's so funny because wewatched it a few times.
We don't get to watch it veryoften together, but he calls it
our show whenever he sees it andthen he says oh, we just have
to watch that together, you know?
So those really are the things.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Okay.
So before we go a little deeperor maybe flip the script, if
you will wanted to take just abrief pause to reflect.
I feel like we need to practicewhat we preach, right?
So let's think about yourmorning today.
Was there a moment you rushedthrough without thinking what if
you stopped for just a secondto fully experience it?
(29:18):
So maybe we'll just take aminute here and I'll kind of
fill the time by talking throughit one more time.
Think about your morning today.
Was there a moment you rushedthrough without thinking?
So maybe think about, well, whydid I do that?
Or maybe look back at it andwhat could I get out of it next
time?
Or how can I reframe it nexttime?
Maybe that it feels mundane orI feel rushed, but I want it to
(29:43):
be a little slower.
What could you do to maybechange that?
So, moving on, if you are likemost of us, you might have a
tendency to rush.
I kind of feel like that's whatour culture pushes a lot of the
time, but I really can'tstrongly encourage you enough to
try something this week.
(30:03):
Slow down and notice the smallmoments, maybe write them down.
I've actually been doing thatParticularly.
I have the most moments with myyoungest son because my older
two kids are in school full timebut he is not, and so I've been
writing down some of the reallycute or funny moments that
we've shared or things that he'sdone or said, particularly this
(30:25):
week, and it's really cute togo back and remember to share
that story with my husband orhis brothers and just to have
for down the road.
So maybe if you this week youcan slow down, notice those
small moments and then see ifyou can find a new appreciation
for them or any appreciation atall.
(30:47):
If they're kind of just goingby and you're not thinking about
it, notice how it shifts yourmood and your perspective.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
You know how I know that this is true is that I'm a
big picture person.
Everything about I love takingpictures.
I mean, I think people get sickof me taking pictures, but I'm
a photographer.
And so I mean, I think peopleget sick of me taking pictures,
but I'm a photographer and so Imean you're going to have me
taking pictures of you, that'sif you're around me, there's
going to be a picture, and Ilove it, by the way.
(31:20):
When I look back and those inthe memories, you know, when you
have a Facebook account andthey bring up the memories and
things like that, and you lookat something that happened maybe
five years ago and my son islike three or something like
that and he's laughing and it'sjust this big joy and I see him
(31:41):
now and I just think how fast,how fast, those pictures that I
have remind me of.
They might have seemed mundaneat the time, but they were such
a deep, core memory, beautiful.
(32:01):
It shows who we were, who theyare, who they were at that time.
It defines who we were in amoment in time or maybe we did
do it all the time, but it'sjust so important to bring those
memories with us and I knowthat that's true because I also
have lost just about so manypeople that are in those
(32:22):
pictures and so I don't think ofthe really outrageous things
when I think of them.
I think of those everyday,mundane things that I miss about
them.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Yeah, how they made you feel, I bet, is what you
remember Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Yes, absolutely.
You know my aunt, another aunt,my Italian aunt, the one I was
named after.
Aunt Anna was her name and shespoke a lot of Italian and she
used to make all of her noodlesbecause she was from Italy and
everything was fresh, right.
I mean, she didn't ever followeven a recipe.
(33:01):
I mean she just did a dab ofthis and a dab of that and blah,
blah, and she would make thisamazing meal.
You know, a dab of this and adab of that, and she would make
this amazing meal, you know, andshe would send me, and I
couldn't wait for those figcookies to get to me in the mail
.
They were the best things everand they were wrapped with love,
they were made with love, youknow, and those are the kind of
(33:22):
things.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Absolutely.
That's so good, that's so sogood.
You know, I think so many of usmyself included, our listeners
and those watching can go rightdown memory lane now and just
nod their heads like, yes, yes,I remember moments like that in
my life and that we go back andwe look at the baby books or we
(33:44):
look at the wedding album or welook at the memories, because if
you don't go back to rememberthem, you will start to forget,
because there's only so muchstorage that we have in our
brains, long-term, short-termand so I think I would like to
start this year.
I saw a friend do this everyyear on her kids' birthdays.
(34:05):
She brings out the scrapbooksand she talks about the day that
they were born, and I love that.
You know, like my oldest son, hehas no idea that the day that
he was born it was in July, andI was in the hospital, there was
a tornado warning and what theydid to was hysterical.
Okay, you know, a hospital roomis, I don't even know, five by
(34:28):
eight, I'm not sure it's tiny,okay, and there's a window in
there.
And so they said make sure yougive mom, the baby who just had
a C-section, me.
And they moved me sort ofdiagonal from the window about
(34:48):
three feet from where I was.
That was it.
I was like I kind of thoughtthat maybe, like my husband
should go out in the hallwaywith the baby.
You know, it just thinks likethat.
It makes us laugh still to thisday.
But I'm not even sure that Iever shared that story with my
oldest son, and so wouldn't thatbe a fun thing to know Of
course you had a baby during atornado, right Of course you did
(35:10):
.
Yeah, isn't that funny.
But I'm not even sure that I'veever told him that story.
So I thought that's such agreat idea to be able to go back
and look at those books andreminisce about when he was born
.
That's a great idea 'm.
I think I'm going to do thatbecause you do.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
You start to forget if you don't remember there's a
lady that I watch on TikTokthat's going to be 100 and her
granddaughter I think she liveswith her or something but she is
interviewing her constantlyabout every little thing in her
life, the mundane things in herlife, and she is documenting
(35:53):
everything in her life.
You know, right now on TikTokfor people to see and for her
workforce to have forever, and Ithink that that's just the most
beautiful thing.
Like what was your husband likewhen he dated you?
Did you drive when you were 16?
Did you?
And she talks about everythingthat was going on in the world
(36:14):
and with her and it's just sucha great thing.
It's so fun to watch.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Oh, I love that.
You'll have to share that withme sometime.
I will.
It sounds great, Okay.
Well, I wanted you, Anne, totalk for a second.
There's a quote that I got fromthe Good Trade.
Amy Ann Cadwell said simplicityis a kind of sanctuary.
Slow down to settle into loveand appreciation for your life
just as it is.
Tell us a little bit about whenyou were preparing for this
(36:44):
episode.
How did it make you feel?
Speaker 2 (36:46):
before I started preparing for the episode, there
was nothing calm in me, nothing.
The second that you sent me theideas and all the quotes and
everything that you had writtenout for the episode, I instantly
felt a calm.
I instantly did Writing aboutit, thinking about it, just
(37:08):
spending time with it justchanged my entire being on the
inside.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
I love that.
It's the mundane, the magic ofthe mundane, and that
perspective shift.
I'm so, so glad.
Well, let's talk about the flipside.
You know, anne had said earlier, maybe life goes at warp speed,
and I would agree.
Even in my mundane there arestill warp speed moments and you
want to know how to make itslow down.
Well, gandhi said there's moreto life than increasing its
(37:38):
speed, and I really love that.
So Jay Shetty has a podcasthe's the host of On Purpose, and
he talks about some steps to bemore present when life is
flying by, and I thought wecould go over some of these,
because some of them I'm likewow, yeah, I never thought about
it in that frame of mind, andso maybe this will help you too.
(38:01):
So one of the first things hetalked about in the podcast was
getting up 20 minutes before youactually need to, because that
sets the tone for calm and spacefirst thing in the morning.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
I agree, it really does.
When the house is quiet, I'llgo downstairs before people
start moving, sometimes, if I amable, or stay up late when
everybody goes to bed and justtake in just soak in the quiet.
I do the treadmill during thosetimes.
I can read, I can listen to anaudio book, I can write.
(38:36):
And that's me, that is my time,and I don't get it very often.
I crave it and you can't getany more mundane than that, I
think.
But I mean it's, I just craveit and I need it.
I need it.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
I think people who do it would absolutely agree that
it is a necessary part of life.
That's a catch-22.
In the summer I find I'm moreinclined to get up a little
earlier.
I get up early as it is, youknow, around 5, 5.30.
So it's already like oh, Idon't know that I want to get up
in the four o'clock hour, butsometimes I'm able to do that,
(39:13):
but again, mostly when it's alittle bit warmer outside, but
especially on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
if I'm the first one up, there's just nothing more
relaxing than just having alittle bit of space.
Could you imagine never beingable to live in the mundane or
come back to center?
Could you imagine that?
Speaker 1 (39:32):
You'd be constant chaos.
No, I personally my personality, would not thrive in that
situation.
That would be too overwhelmingfor me.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah, I think it's something that for our mental
health, for our physical health,I think that that's the way
we're built.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I would agree.
Well, one of the things thatJay Shetty also talked about was
using only one device at a time.
How many times have you foundyourself maybe you're watching a
show, but you have your phonein your hand, you know, or
you're talking on the phone andyou're, you know, doing just all
kinds of things.
I guess, technically, if youwere cooking and having a device
(40:12):
in your hand, that that wouldbe considered one thing.
But a lot of the time, if I'mcooking, I have a radio on, so
that's a device.
And I think the whole point is,you know, so, if and I would
even go as far to say if you'redriving, that is the device and
that is the only thing that youshould be doing in those moments
.
You know, if it's the phone,then that's the device, and the
(40:34):
whole purpose is to keep alittle more focused.
You know he talked aboutsomething really interesting in
his podcast and it was abouttexting and driving.
He polled the people who were inhis class, say, and he said how
many of you feel like you cando more than one thing at the
(40:54):
same time?
And most everybody raised theirhand and he asked how many of
you think that you're good attexting and driving?
And a lot of people raisedtheir hand and you know people
would say oh well, you know Ican have my phone in one hand
and the steering wheel in theother and didn't really see a
problem with it.
Well, you know I can have myphone in one hand and the
steering wheel in the other anddidn't really see a problem with
it.
So then he had other peoplethat were in the room and they
(41:15):
stood up and said well, now we'dlike to share our story.
We lost a loved one to someonewho was texting and driving.
They they hit and killed myloved one, and he said.
Almost every single one ofthose people who raised their
hand and said that they wereproud.
You know that they were able totext and drive were in tears
over what happened to thosefamilies and the hope was that
(41:37):
it would make them think twicebefore, thinking that that was a
smart thing to do.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
I don't text and drive, but I do find myself
watching TV with my phone.
I do that a lot.
I like to play games on myphone sometimes or just do
things that don't make me think.
You know, the hardest thing forme, I think, is to let my brain
be in silence.
(42:03):
Then my brain starts takingover, and I don't like listening
to my thoughts a lot of times.
So what I do is I want the TVon, I want a noise in the room
so it can stop me from thinking.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
I can relate.
We want something to just kindof veg out, numb out, and I get
it, but maybe just one device ata time so the brain's not on
overload, is kind of what he'stalking about.
Then he talked about taking 30seconds to engage all five
senses.
That's just a grounding thing.
So it's the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
And I don't remember how it allgoes, but I think five things
(42:40):
you can see, four things you canhear, three things you can
smell, and I honestly can'tremember two things you can
touch.
Maybe or maybe the touch is thefive.
Anyway, you could look up the5-4-3-2-1 method and it would
come up.
But it's just engaging all ofyour senses.
So, grounding yourself,centering yourself Okay, what is
up around me right now?
(43:00):
Okay, what do I feel, what do Isee, what do I hear.
And then it like internalizesyou to where you're paying
attention to your body and itsneeds.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Yeah, it works.
They do it at school.
A couple of my kids go to aspecial school and I know in
other programs that they've beenin to help special needs kids
they use that, so it's a greatgrounding.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
Oh, it's so good to know.
Yes, I need to do that moreoften.
I'm really good at the what doI hear and what do I see, and
sometimes you know what do Ismell If I.
It's actually something thathelps with my anxiety a bit.
So I do that, just not not asoften, but I do try to make my
kids aware of their surroundingsby telling them at times you
(43:45):
know to to do those things.
I thought this next one wasreally really interesting Obey
the speed limit.
And this is because it willpurposely help you slow down.
And it does go back to thattexting and driving scenario
that I shared just a few minutesago.
You getting there four minutesearlier may not make any
(44:10):
difference, but it could be allthe difference in someone else's
life.
In other words, if you hitsomeone, you know if you get
into a crash.
So that's what he's talkingabout with obey the speed limit.
I'd never thought about whatthat could have you know for
helping you kind of slow down ifthings are getting too fast
could happen.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
And it's OK if somebody is behind you and
they're mad and they're beepingor whatever.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
I mean you know You've got to block that stuff
out.
It's not worth it.
So, of course, one of the otherthings that was talked about was
being present with your breathto align your body and mind, and
I know that this is true.
It's a technique that we use inyoga, and I'm looking forward
to my upcoming yoga class,because I haven't gone in a few
weeks with sickness, and I'mreally looking forward to
(44:55):
reconnecting with my breath.
I can tell when my anxiety getstoo high for whatever reason.
I can go back to my breath andit really does help, so much so
that I put my pulse ox on and Ilike to watch what happens.
When I really control mybreathing.
It really does.
It does work.
Like I can feel I'm getting astomach ache and so I'm like
okay, it's time to startbreathing and you can.
(45:17):
You can either watch theanxiety go up or down by being
mindful of your breath when Iput the pulse ox on.
And you know what else is funnyabout that?
It's kind of like a good liedetector test.
My husband and I were doingthis just for fun, asking each
other.
It was actually me asking himjust silly questions, and when
he would lie, you could see theheart rate go up on the pulse.
(45:39):
It was really fun and so I'd belike you're lying.
And at first he was like, well,how do you know?
And I said, because your heartrate's telling me everything I
need to know right now, and hejust started laughing.
It was I don't even know thesilly questions that I was
asking, but it was a fun tool todo and use.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
I was going to mention the heart rate because
you know, I have my Fitbit andand, yeah, when, when I get more
anxious or whatever, I mean,yeah, my heart rate goes up.
Yeah, I always know when I'vehad a really anxious day or not.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Yeah, I want that to help better monitor myself.
Okay, so the next thing is findand create moments of silence
every day.
This is what we've talked aboutthroughout the podcast.
That can be really, really hard, but listen.
Your brain, my brain, all ofour brains need time to
decompress from all of theprocessing it's doing all day
(46:35):
long.
You need that silence and inthat silence you could focus on
your breath or you could focuson mindfulness, the 5-4-3-2-1
technique, any of those things.
It is important, even just afew minutes.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
How many times do we go through something and we're
like just wait, I need toprocess this.
I need time before I doanything, say anything, and we
do.
We need to process what ishappening throughout our day
sometimes and it's good for ourmental health Again we need it
(47:10):
and I don't think that you'reever going to find the time to
do that.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
I think you have to purposely make it.
There are so many times whereI'm like I need to process this
and I don't process it because Idon't make the time for it.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
When I used to be the director of the battered woman
shelter, we would go through somuch in a day, even shelter.
We would go through so much ina day, even, and we would make
it a point to all come togetherand decompress, talk, you know,
process the things that hadhappened before.
We would actually leave, checkin with each other, make sure
that we were okay, you know, andthat kind of stuff, and I think
(47:46):
that you have to do that.
Speaker 1 (47:49):
I agree, one of my favorite ways to kind of slow
down or to get re-centered is bybeing in nature or even look at
nature.
Okay, so we were made.
Humans were made to be part ofnature.
We just were.
We were meant to crave it andlike being outside.
So if you feel drawn to it,that's why you can look up all
(48:11):
the science.
I'm not just saying that, it'strue, it's how we were made and
it really does have a way ofhealing us.
You're feeling a little bitstagnant or stalled or upset.
(48:33):
I'm like, okay, I got to get upand move and, plus, I love
watching what all the animals do.
I mean, nature can tell us somany things and you know what
else.
Nature is cyclical and maybesome find that mundane, but I
find that beautiful knowing whatwe can expect out of nature in
(48:55):
the seasons.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Don't you?
Yeah, I absolutely do, and Ilove hiking too.
I love going outside with mykids throwing the leaves up in
the air or whatever.
You know, I have several placesin nature that I love to just
sit and be calm.
Do you have a favorite naturespot?
Speaker 1 (49:13):
So there is a local park that is one of my all-time
favorites and it's by water andthere are picnic tables there
and it has this one dead tree inamongst all the others that
just stands out and I find it tobe absolutely beautiful.
(49:36):
And then, across the way acrossthe pond, is this other tree
that blooms beautifully in thespring and in the fall, and in
the fall it's always neatbecause half of it is one color
while the other half is adifferent color, and it just
reminds you about the change ofseasons and maybe the hard and
(49:59):
the beautiful all together.
And so I like to go to the spot.
It's been my comfort for avariety of losses and it's been
my comfort to just go and enjoythe absolute beauty that it is.
So there is a particular spotthat I have and, honestly, a
particular picnic table that hasjust been my home away from
(50:23):
home when I need to process orwhen I need to grieve, or when I
need to just take in sunshineand beauty and just think.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
Yeah, trees are huge to me.
I have even written poetryabout trees.
I have a whole section of abook that I have placed
someplace.
You know about trees and theyspeak to me.
It's like a.
And they speak to me it's likea.
(50:54):
It's really a personal thing tome.
And you talked about a deadtree.
I mean so I don't know.
They're all.
they all have their personality,they have a story, each and
every each and every tree has astory, and birch birch trees are
some of my favorites.
We have a tree in our yard thatpeople actually stop and say,
oh my gosh.
You have a redwood tree in youryard which you know.
(51:16):
It's really rare in our area tohave something like that, so
you have a redwood tree?
Speaker 1 (51:23):
We do.
I didn't know that becausearen't those the big trees that
you see out west?
Yes, wow, that is prettyspectacular.
Well, I think trees are sointeresting and, as I have just
dabbled in the interview processfor trying to get an additional
job to work from home, I'vebeen kind of researching
(51:46):
different interview questionsand someone said, well, what if
you were asked what kind of treeyou would be?
And I thought for a moment andmy answer is a palm tree.
And they said, well, why?
And I said because it canweather the storms, it is strong
, I love it, but it doesn'tbreak.
And so that is the tree I wouldpick if I was asked that
(52:10):
question.
And so, just like you're saying,I think there, you know, some
trees are softer than others,some people are softer than
others, some trees can bend andnot break, and some people can
do the same thing.
I think there's a lot we canactually relate to, not even
just with trees, but nature ingeneral way that we see things
is so unique to each of us.
I would just encourage you tofind what you connect with and
(52:34):
just keep looking at it fromdifferent perspectives and
remember the mundane can be somagical.
It's something we should lookfor, the joy in those moments
every single day, because Ireally truly believe that is the
heart of who we are single day,because I really, truly believe
that is the heart of who we are.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
We are not the crazy and the you know all the time
and we're constantly searchingto come back to center.
So you know everybody that'slistening here.
I really encourage you to findyour center and find out where
your family lives in a center,so you guys can experience that
together, because that's whensome of our biggest joys are.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
Absolutely Well.
Thank you all of you forlistening to Real Talk with Tina
and Anne.
We hope that you will embracesimplicity and mundane in your
daily life, and if you find thatyou're struggling too, we hope
you'll come back to this episodeand start to think about ways
that this week you can make thathappen.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
Thank you for listening to Real Talk with Tina
and Anne and we will see younext time.
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