Stephanie, meet Stephanie! Stephanie had a fabulous conversation with body positive personal trainer, Stephanie Lueras!
Stephanie Lueras, Heart and Sole Fitness & Wellness LCC; Body Positive ACE Certified Personal Trainer, ACE Fitness Nutrition Specialist, International Best-Selling Author, and Speaker
After coming to a point in life where she was “sick and tired of being sick and tired,” needed some changes. Through small actions and goal setting, Stephanie has lost over 200 pounds through balanced nutrition and movement, without the use of restrictive dieting, commercial weight loss plans, or supplements. She has gained a love of endurance sports, running marathons, and is currently training for Ironman-distance races. She uses this same holistic goal setting model in working with clients in groups and individually to empower people to break down the everyday barriers that exist so they can achieve what they are working towards for their best personal wellness.
Stephanie specializes in beginner and adaptive fitness, aiding those of all sizes, age, condition/illness, and ability to consistency with their personal movement and nutrition goals. She enjoys incorporating bodyweight resistance training into workouts, so many workouts require no or minimal equipment. She is also a TRX Suspension System Instructor and a SilverSneakers Instructor.
Everyone has resilience, but what does that mean and how to we use it in life and leadership? Join Stephanie Olson, expert in resiliency and trauma, every week as she talks to other experts living lives of resilience. Stephanie also shares her own stories of addictions, disordered eating, domestic and sexual violence, abandonment, and trauma; and shares the everyday struggles and joys of everyday life. As a wife, mom, and CEO she gives commentaries, and, sometimes a few rants, to shed light on what makes a person resilient. So, if you have experienced adversity in life in any way, and you want to learn how to better lead your family, your workplace, and, well, your life, this podcast is for you!
https://stephanieolson.com
INSPIRE your team to LEAD WITH SUCCESS and MOTIVATE others with Stephanie bringing 20+ years of speaking experience. If you need to EMPOWER, ENGAGE, and EDUCATE your people-Book Stephanie as your speaker today!
https://www.stephanieolson.com/ask-stephanie-to-speak
Everyone has resilience, but what does that mean, and how do we use it in life and leadership? Join Stephanie Olson, an expert in resiliency and trauma, every week as she talks to other experts living lives of resilience. Stephanie also shares her own stories of addictions, disordered eating, domestic and sexual violence, abandonment, and trauma, and shares the everyday struggles and joys of everyday life. As a wife, mom, and CEO she gives commentaries and, sometimes, a few rants to shed light on what makes a person resilient. So, if you have experienced adversity in life in any way and want to learn how to better lead your family, your workplace, and, well, your life, this podcast is for you!
https://stephanieolson.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie Olson (00:00):
Hi, thank you for listening. Please share with
(00:02):
anyone you think will benefitfrom this podcast. Hello and
welcome to resilience in lifeand leadership. I am honored to
introduce you to StephanieLueras. After coming to a point
in life where she was sick andtired of being sick and tired,
Stephanie needed some changes.
Through small actions and goalsetting. Stephanie has lost over
200 pounds through balancednutrition and movement. Without
(00:25):
the use of restrictive dieting,commercial weight loss plans or
supplements. She has gained alove of endurance sports,
running marathons and iscurrently training for Ironman
distance races. She uses thissame holistic goal setting model
in working with clients ingroups and individually to
empower people to break down theeveryday barriers that exist so
(00:46):
they can achieve what they areworking towards for their
personal best wellness.
Stephanie specializes inbeginner and adaptive fitness
ating those of all sizes, ages,conditions and illness, and
ability to consume consistentlytrain with their personal
motivate movement and nutritiongoals. Welcome, Stephanie.
(01:10):
Hello, and welcome to resilienceand life and leadership. And
welcome Stephanie Lueras, howare you doing?
Stephanie Lueras (01:18):
I'm great.
It's so wonderful to be herewith you today.
Stephanie Olson (01:21):
Yes, your name is amazing. And spelled
correctly. So I appreciate thatabout you. Well, the Stephanie's
are here. So I want to hear yourstory. You've got some amazing
stuff going on. You've done someincredible things. And I just
(01:42):
kind of want to dig into itbecause i i personally come from
a background with a lot ofeating disorders. And I I've,
I've always and I think you'llappreciate this but I've always
weirdly loved to work out. Andso a lot of my my friends do not
(02:04):
understand my love for justbeing active and working out but
I do I love it. So yeah, I sotell me about your journey you
have lost 200 pounds. And nowyou are this long distance
marathon triathlon training.
Amazing, fabulous person. Sotalk to me about your journey.
Stephanie Lueras (02:31):
Well, I first I will start out by I am have
not always enjoy exercise untilI found the movement. Yeah, I
enjoyed that.
Stephanie Olson (02:45):
Well, and that is the key to exercise. I think
so many people are like, Oh,I've got to exercise I've got to
exercise. And it really is justabout loving movement. That's
that's all it is and findingthat movement that you enjoy
doing.
Stephanie Lueras (02:59):
Yeah. And you know, for me, I actually, in in
where I am today did not set outto say I'm going to lose 200
pounds. That was never my goal.
That was never the benchmarkthat I was striving for. I'm a
person that's been overweight,my entire life have been on
(03:23):
every diet on the planet, youname it, I've tried it, I've
gained and lost hundreds andhundreds of pounds in my life.
So I came to this place whereI'm like, I'm done. I'm done
with the diets. But somethinghas to change. Because I don't
feel good. I'm unhappy. And I'mmaking everybody else around me
(03:43):
miserable, too. So I'm, I'm thisdriven person is goal oriented.
You know, that's just how mymind works. So, in my mind, I'm
like, What is something I cando? What what is that going to
be? The first thing I did wasdrink water. Like I didn't even
(04:03):
have the habit of hydratingmyself properly in place. Yeah.
But instead of going out andgetting that like giant, you
know, water jug and doing thesecrazy water challenges you see
on social media was a six ouncecup of water and a kitchen
timer. And every time theobnoxious timer went off, I go
(04:25):
to the other end of the officewhere the water cooler was
filling up and just repeat thatcycle over and over of drinking
water. And then it's like okay,got this What can I do now?
Instead of going through thedrive thru twice a day to feed
my husband and myself. I'm gonnacook at home doesn't matter what
(04:47):
I'm going to cook right I'mgonna cook get home habit. Yeah,
and then it became Okay, welllet's start to experiment with
recipes in the end. gradientsand how are these foods making
us feel? And just through thosesmall changes, I naturally had
started to let go of someweight, I was feeling a little
(05:11):
bit better. And so in my mind,I'm like, Okay, well now's
probably wear exercise issupposed to come into this. And,
but at the body size I was at, Iwas pretty close to losing my
mobility. So in my mind, theonly thing possible that I was
(05:31):
going to be able to do was walk.
And so I go out, I walk to theend of the street and back, and
I'm gonna die. And I do this andflip flops, because Oh, getting
on shoes would just have beenmuch worse. Yeah, yeah. But that
walk up and down the street thenbecomes around the block around
(05:54):
the neighborhood. And furtherand further. Then one day, I get
the idea. I'm like, I wonder ifI can run. I don't know where
this came from, again, girlsbasic in gym class, this is a
foreign concept. So I rentedthis stop sign, like 50 yards
down the road. And again, it'sthis I want to die. But at this
(06:18):
in that moment, something aboutmovement lit up inside me that I
had never experienced before.
And I'm like, I'm gonna have tofigure this out. So I go home
and like, we're gonna figure outthis fat girl running thing and
do all the research. I'm such anerd, like, I've got to figure
(06:39):
it all out. But then it becomes,again, building it up. And then
five K's 10 K's half marathons,marathons, jumping over into
triathlon, and building up thedistances there. So from going
to, from drinking this cup ofwater, to training for Ironman
(07:00):
distance, triathlons, all theselittle habits build on each
other. I'm also working on myemotional health, cleaning up
all that cleaning up myspiritual life and growing in
that. And without focusing onthe weight itself without saying
(07:21):
I'm gonna, you know, check offall this weight, my body let go,
I lost the 200 pounds withoutintentionally dieting, it was
everything I was doing thatcontributed to just bringing my
body to where it wanted to be.
Stephanie Olson (07:40):
And probably and you know, you said not
focusing on the weight, but alsonot focusing on the food, I
would guess that we we tend to,with this diet mentality, we
tend to just really focus onfood, and then it does literally
(08:00):
the opposite that we want towhat to do or think we need to
do or whatever the case may be.
Yeah,
Stephanie Lueras (08:07):
absolutely.
And for me coming from abackground with eating disorders
and all this other wonderfulstuff, on top of years and years
of yo yo dieting. I know it'snot about the food, right? Like,
you know, we know what to eat.
We've we've learned this alongthe line somewhere in life, we
(08:32):
generally have an idea of whatgood nutrition is, but it's
taking in it that next stepfurther to how does food make me
feel? Because just as there areas many people that walk this
planet, there is many differenteating styles that that are out
(08:53):
there. Right? So it's reallycoming to that place where we're
open to experiment with food,how does it make me feel what
works what doesn't work timingof it and in really getting back
to how we were created. And thatthat innate ability to sense
(09:16):
hunger to sense fullness andknow that okay, I'm good. Yeah,
Stephanie Olson (09:23):
it's, I think that especially in America we
have confused that so much. Andalthough yes, I think
intuitively we know what to eatwe know how to eat and things
like that. But boy, that wholediet culture and the fitness
(09:45):
movement, it has made some ofthat so confusing to the average
person like okay, wait are carbsgood or carbs bad as protein?
What do I you know, what am Isupposed to do? Should I eat
meat? Should I not eat meat? No.
It's become this, thisremarkably confusing thing. And
I love what you say because itreally everybody has a different
(10:06):
reaction to different foods,different timing of eating, and
it is different for everybody.
Stephanie Lueras (10:18):
It is. And it's, a lot of times when we
talk to people about the abilityto let go of the food rules, let
go of the restriction and kindof play around with it be your
own scientist experiment withfood, and how things make you
(10:38):
feel, right. It's a very foreignconcept. And it's it's almost
revolutionary to some people,they the idea of intuitive
eating the idea of mindfuleating, because we're so
programmed that this is thelittle box I have to live in.
And if I stray one way or theother, it's it's not okay,
(11:01):
exactly. But I liken it to lookat a toddler. They know what
they like and what they don'tlike, yep, they can eat an
entire plate of food in front ofthem and want more, or they can
eat three bites, and they'regood. And nobody has told them
(11:21):
that's good or bad. Nobody hashas changed that, that intuition
in them to know I've got what Ineed. Right? Come back for more
later. And, you know, if we canjust all revert back to that, I
think as as a people, we'd feela whole heck of a lot better.
(11:44):
Yeah,
Stephanie Olson (11:44):
I agree. And I think that the key to intuitive
eating. Because the concept isexactly what we're supposed to
do. We know, when we're hungry.
We know when we're satisfied. Wewe know intuitively to stop and
to start, but until your bodygets back to where it needs to
(12:06):
be. I mean, you know, there havebeen times in my life where
intuitively my body would say,Eat that entire box of Oreos,
and don't stop because that'swhere, and so it does take some
time to really get thatintuitive getting our bodies
(12:28):
back to where they can.
Intuitively
Stephanie Lueras (12:34):
it does Intuitive Eating is not an
overnight thing. Because once wecan let go of those food rules,
let go of the restriction. Thatis the number one fear, right
that if I take the rules off thetable, all I'm going to eat as
chocolate and candy bars allday. Right? Right. And you you
(12:55):
actually might Yeah, you mightdo that for a while because you
had some type of rule orconstruct around why this was
good or bad for so long. Thatgiving yourself that permission,
giving yourself that freedom.
You might eat it in abundancefor a while. But you are going
to come to a point and you know,you can't put a timeline on it.
(13:19):
But you're going to come to thepoint where your body's gonna
say, Okay, now we're ready forsomething else. Right? And then
you're really coming back aroundto, you know, what does a
balanced diet look like? For me?
What are those foods that serveme? What am I craving? And how
(13:40):
do I satisfy that in a way thatserves me best? Right?
Stephanie Olson (13:44):
Absolutely. So now you were actually doing some
training and coaching. Correct?
Is that? Okay? So talk to meabout that. What? What does, you
know, body positive bodyneutrality, fitness look like?
What does that coaching looklike?
Stephanie Lueras (14:05):
Well, the reality is not everyone's goal
is weight loss. There's a lot ofreasons that people want to
move, that they want to look attheir relationship with food,
the food that they're eating.
And so it's coming to a placewhere the focus is not the
(14:26):
scale, the focus is not a bodymass index. It's not these,
which is a bunch of crap. Mostracist thing ever let's just lay
it out there straight, but it isit's a statistic. It's not even
a health marker. Right, right.
(14:47):
Yeah. And, you know, we takethese arbitrary things off the
table, and look at what is itthat you really want to
accomplish? Like I never want todiscount someone's feelings,
someone might come to me andvery well say I want to lose X
number of pounds. And I'm notgoing to hand you some random
(15:10):
diet plan and exercise plan andsay, Here you go go forth and be
married. My next question iswhy? Yeah. Why do you want to
lose weight? What? What willlosing weight accomplish for
you? And when we ask thatquestion, why a few times, we
don't just even take the firstanswer. But we keep asking it,
(15:33):
we get to that vulnerable placeof things like, I want to feel
good, my clothes, I want to lookgood, totally a valid reason, I
want to be able to get up in themorning and not feel stiff, want
to get up off the floor, if Ifall down independently, or keep
up with my kids or my grandkids,we start to get really specific
(15:58):
areas that we can break downthat look at things like
nutrition, cardiovascularendurance, strength, stability,
balance, so much more. Those arethe specific things that then
those things we work on. Right,that's what we change, you're
(16:22):
going to find thetransformation, you're going to
feel how you want to feel,you're going to you're going to
satisfy that underlying why thescale may or may not change. But
in the end, that really becomesinconsequential to most people,
right? When they found okay,I've actually met what I what I
(16:45):
really want.
Stephanie Olson (16:46):
Right, right.
Oh, that's good. Well, and youknow, in my case, one of the, so
I am 53. So as we get older, ourmuscle mass decreases. And so
one of my goals is to reallyincrease muscles. And so that
totally messes up the scale. Youknow, like, if that's your, if
(17:08):
that's your bottom line, or BMI.
I mean, it just completelymesses with that, that
traditional whatever it might befor the medical world. So I have
a very controversial questionfor you. On both spectrums,
(17:31):
because I have been veryinvolved in both in different
times of my life, both the bodypositivity movement, and both
the fitness movement, and thingslike that. So what would you
say? Are the I haven't? Thisisn't the controversial question
(17:53):
yet. What would you say are thepros and cons of each movement?
So body positivity versus theyou know, the fitness movement?
Stephanie Lueras (18:05):
Well, you know, just like everything on
the planet, there's good and badabout both. And, you know, when
we look at body positivity, Ialmost, I almost don't like
using that term sometimes.
Because we get this idea in ourmind, like, oh, it's all about
you loving yourself. It's selflove. It's this great positivity
(18:27):
thing. I almost err more on theside of body neutrality, like,
are you okay with yourself? Canyou accept yourself? Are you
living in your body in thepresent moment? Or are you
living in some future imaginaryimage or what you used to be,
(18:48):
instead of this is who I amright now, and be okay with it.
And that sometimes it takes alittle work to get to that place
of being okay with who we are,as we are now. And a lot of
times, that's where fitness andthis idea of body positivity,
(19:10):
body neutrality collide, becausewith the fitness industry, we
have, sometimes the aesthetic,that there's an idea of, unless
you look a certain way, or act acertain way, perform a certain
way, then you're not a fitperson, right? You're not
(19:33):
achieving whatever the magicbenchmark is, but it's changing
our idea and our perception ofwhat fitness is, right? You is
is fitness something that thatyou are engaging in because
you're trying to look a certainway or is it because you
(19:55):
understand the benefit of mu MITfor whatever it is that that you
want to be or who you are,
Stephanie Olson (20:05):
that's so good.
Because I think that, and I mayor may not ask you a
controversial question, becauseI think what you just said is
fantastic. I think the extremesof both messed my mind, I mean,
really mess me up. And I thinkdefinitely with the fitness
movement, this altra. You know,this is the look, this is what
(20:28):
you have to be this is what, andthat is something that you just
can't necessarily or shouldn'twant to aspire to be if that's
just what you're trying toaspire to be. And on the same
token, the body positivitymovement, I followed that for
for quite a while. And I foundthat I started to some of the
(20:53):
forums that you can get on onboth of those can be just
attacking and horrifying. But Ifound that the body positivity
movement really messed with myhead, because it was this
mentality of if you want to loseweight, you are wrong. And there
(21:15):
was this weird thing going onand on. And then on the fitness,
if you don't want to loseweight, you are wrong. And it
was just this, where is where isthe middle ground. So I love the
body neutrality. That that is animportant piece because it
(21:37):
really is about, you know, beingcomfortable in your skin, right
where you are. And that doesn'teven mean you want to. You want
to be status quo. But it's it'sjust a very different. I love
that. So yeah, thank you.
(21:57):
Because I think there really areextremes on both ends.
Stephanie Lueras (22:00):
And I think when we look at the extremes of
both movements, we move moretowards exclusivity, yes, that
we were really somewhere towardsthe middle, when we're focusing
on individual movement, whenwe're focusing on that presence
(22:26):
in who we are, in this moment,away from the edge from the
edges, I think that's where westart to really open up to the
conversations that we can talkabout the inclusivity that we
can talk about adaptive fitness,that we can talk about
(22:46):
accessibility, that we can talkabout the different people in
sizes, and what ever that existson every plane within fitness
within sports. And then it's notjust an archetype, it's not just
a gender, it's not just an ageright there. It's not just an
(23:08):
ability, we can take all ofthose things out of the
conversation.
Stephanie Olson (23:14):
Yeah, exactly.
And, you know, it's sointeresting, because you you
said drinking water, and then Istarted walking. And I think
that sometimes we negate one ofthe best forms of movement in
the world that is walking Imean, it's, it's, I'm just
walking Well, that is great.
(23:36):
That is a positive thing. Andthat that I and I walk I love
walking with my dog gets upsetwith me if I don't, and I'm kind
of a worse Walker, I only walkin nice weather outside. So I
gotta admit, but walking is someof the that's when I feel the
best about myself. Because I'moutside, I'm enjoying the air.
(24:00):
I'm enjoying, you know,creation, and just all of the
things and it it just changes myentire mindset. So yeah.
Stephanie Lueras (24:10):
And even along that same wine, you know, it not
even so much what we're doing.
But the quantity Yeah, I hear sooften. People say, Well, I can't
do 30 minutes, four minutes, 60minutes. So what it does, it
doesn't count. Don't count forwhat, right, you know, that we
(24:32):
discount sometimes this wholecumulative effect that we're
actually providing ourselvesthat go out for five minutes,
six times a week. Well, thereyou go. You've now had 30
minutes you've benefited yourbody with that mentioned, right?
That's right. It doesn't have tobe in one single pop. There is
actual scientific evidence. Youdon't have to do it. All at once
(24:59):
you can really break it into thelittle tiny parts, right will
have great benefit from it.
That's right.
Stephanie Olson (25:06):
In fact, a lot of times there is a huge benefit
in quality over quantity. So itis, that's, that's a huge thing.
I love it. So what did you dothen? Were you primarily when,
(25:28):
when you were, you know, justfinding what worked for you as
far as fitness and as far asmovement and eating? Did you
need some sort ofaccountability? Or was there
something about it that justreally, this is just what is
(25:48):
feeling good.
Stephanie Lueras (25:51):
You know, there I am, like the world's
biggest proponent ofaccountability, it's like one of
my favorite words. And I thinkit is essential. And it's
something that I've always had,on some level. At the beginning,
I didn't need a whole lot to tobe drinking water and cooking at
(26:13):
home, you know, a few cookbooksand we're good to go. But you
know, as as things got beyondthe scope of what I could do,
and what what I could read in abook, then it was okay, like,
now I need a coach. Now I need asports dietitian. You know, now
(26:33):
as as I'm going through allthese changes, let's go back to
therapy and deal with all thecrap that I've put aside. It's
bringing in those people inthose systems and those
resources that help us tocontinue to grow because we can
only go so far on our own. Butwhen we realize, okay, now I've
(26:53):
hit this plateau and need alittle bit more. That's where we
bring in that extra help to keepmoving forward.
Stephanie Olson (27:01):
Right? Oh, that's good. Well, can you talk
at all to eating disorders and,and anybody who has experience
any eating disorders, Ipersonally have struggled with
anorexia, bulimia and bingeeating disorder. So try try to
hit them all, you know, I am atype A person, that's what I do.
(27:24):
So if I can, if I can hit themall, I'm gonna do it. That's
what I'm going to do. I don'twant to do anything halfway. So
what what would you just say toanyone who's struggling with
eating disorders?
Stephanie Lueras (27:37):
You know, I, myself have have two diagnosed
eating disorders. And that's notto say that you need an actual
diagnosis to struggle with food.
There's a whole spectrum ofdisordered eating to eating
disorders. Yeah. And we all fallthere probably somewhere I have
(27:58):
yet to meet someone that has aperfect relationship with food.
And sometimes, what we think isokay, probably is maybe isn't.
And it's, it's been a open tohaving conversations, to, to
(28:23):
really be honest with someoneelse, because it's really easy
for us to stay in our own headsabout our relationship with
food. Oh, that's not a problem.
I don't do this. This isn't. Butwhen other people may or may not
(28:46):
see what we're doing. And thenwe start to talk about this
habit or that habit. That's,that sounds a little a little
off a little interesting. Andthey start seeing red flags.
It's it. First of all, who inyour circle? Can you lean on for
(29:08):
support? Right, who's there foryou. And we need to have some
kind of support. And it may notbe friends, it may not be family
because sometimes that thosearen't the healthiest people to
lean on. When we are strugglingin this area. It might be
seeking out a coach seeking outa nutritionist seeking out a
(29:32):
registered dietician looking attherapy specifically with
somebody that is trained arounddisordered eating and eating
disorders. And for me, I didn'tunderstand the root of my eating
disorders, until I dealt withreally the acute phase of my
(29:54):
PTSD and the trauma that I hadgone through, right. I didn't
know Stan I, it had justmagnified. Right? All of my
issues with food that I had froma very young age. Absolutely.
Absolutely. And like, you know,we, we don't think Oh, okay. I,
(30:14):
you know, this stuff ismanifesting in my relationship
with food. Yeah. Because we eatevery day. In theory. Well,
that's the problem, we don'talways pick up on what might be
actually problematic.
Stephanie Olson (30:29):
Yeah, you know, that's a really excellent point.
Because, as I said, I don't domoderation well, so I am also
recovering alcoholic, and theyhave all of the addictions and
smoking, alcohol. And those wereso much easier, not easy, but so
(30:52):
much easier to conquer. BecauseI could literally give them up.
And with food, you have to eatevery day. And you have to find
a way to do that withoutaggravating any sort of
disordered eating. Yeah.
Stephanie Lueras (31:13):
And you it's something that no matter how
much therapy you've had, nomatter how much coaching you've
gone through, it's still anintentional work, right? Every
single day, whether we'reconscious of it or not, like
even today, I had therealization Oh, crap, I gotta go
(31:36):
and alter things again. Becauselife is changing a little bit,
not only to my clients and mygroup classes that I do, but now
I've added group classes thatare in the pool. So now I'm
super hungry. Yeah, totallythrown off kind of the, the way
I eat and how that works throughthe day. And I'm like, oh, no,
(31:58):
I've actually got to go to go tothe store and figure out what
are the snacks gonna look like?
And how, how do I navigate this?
Right? And like, this is yearsout now, like, in my mind, I'm
like, I should have this figuredout. But it still comes with
(32:18):
that trepidation of I know, Idon't want to engage in these
behaviors. But I want to carefor myself in the best way
possible.
Stephanie Olson (32:30):
Absolutely. And what if you don't have a support
system around you, thatunderstands, I think there's,
there's so many people and thatin that old diet mentality
mindset. So this food is reallybad, this food is really good.
(32:50):
And you know, that, that youneed to look a certain way in
order to be approved? I don'tknow, whatever. How do you deal
with things like that? Or whatdo you tell your clients, when
they are struggling with peoplewho they don't, who they have
around them who are such anegative support,
Stephanie Lueras (33:14):
you know, this, this is something that I
have family members that arelike this, that that are still
stuck on the, you know, you youlose weight to look like this,
you have to eat this way and,and continually, even after the
years that I've put into thisand have come to this place
(33:37):
where I'm a completely differentperson, not only physically but
mentally, you know, just happierin not like, you know, the
roaring which every day clearclearly
Stephanie Olson (33:51):
has to go away.
Stephanie Lueras (33:55):
Every day, let's Okay, okay, good. But
it's, it's I have those peoplein my life. And, you know, do I
do I really want to cut cut outmy family? Not Not really. I
understand that. Yeah, somepeople have to go to that
extreme. Yeah, but it's, it'sexercising the boundaries of
(34:18):
what we will and will not acceptin our lives. If we've reached
the point where we can be vocalabout it to put into words why
something is acceptable orunacceptable, having the
conversations, but sometimes itis removing ourselves from a
conversation, removing ourselvesphysically from the room and
(34:42):
just, you know, we're changingthe subject. Yes,
Stephanie Olson (34:46):
yeah. And that can be so challenging. I will.
How do I say this withoutcalling me? I will never forget.
A very important thing. You'rein my children's lives. who,
when they were young, and I havetwo girls and a boy, and so it
(35:07):
was specifically the girls, andtalking about, oh, you're
getting a little fat here? Oh,you need to? And I would just
constantly No, we don't saythat. We don't talk like that.
And it was just such a struggle,because it was just, I mean, it
wasn't even a thought it this isjust how they communicated.
(35:29):
Yeah, that's hard. Oh, good. Ithink that those boundaries are
so important. They're hard toput in place.
Stephanie Lueras (35:38):
They are. It's definitely a practice, just, you
know, just like that, thatintentional action every day.
Boundaries are attentional?
Stephanie Olson (35:50):
Yeah, they are.
And I just spoke to someonetoday who was talking about, you
know, we were talking aboutforgiveness, and we were talking
about healthy relationships.
And, and they made a commentthat, you know, that everybody
that that it takes two partiesto, to heal a relationship
(36:10):
that's broken. And but I added,yes, that's true. But sometimes
we don't, those are notrelationships, we even should
attempt to heal. Not that. Notthat we don't forgive those
people and let that go. But notall relationships should be in
our lives. Right? Yeah.
Stephanie Lueras (36:33):
And it's it's having the discernment of, you
know, is Is this worth it? Isthis worth the effort? Is this
worth the heartache Is thisworth continually putting myself
into a situation like this overand over again,
Stephanie Olson (36:51):
right? I love it. So tell me, if you can tell
me like one of the mostsignificant transformations that
you saw in an individual.
Stephanie Lueras (37:07):
One of my favorites is, I do some group
fitness classes, and one of themis mostly older adults. And I
had one I had one woman in herearly 80s, that had had been
convinced that I'm never goingto get any stronger. That I am
(37:31):
only here to just move my bodycontinue to maintain what I have
today, I will never getstronger. This was the mindset
she came in with. And shecontinues to show up faithfully
do the things love it, becausewe have this wonderful community
around it where you know, that'shalf the thing with group
(37:53):
fitness, you build thecommunity. And for her, she
actually have this piece ofequipment in her living room,
that she always talked aboutnever being able to lift, and
she'd have to have her son comeover and move it so that she
could vacuum. And after a periodof time, she realized one day
(38:15):
that she was vacuuming and allof a sudden just picked it up.
Wow. moved on with wife. And shestood there shocked. Because
she's like, I couldn't have donethis before. I didn't think it
was possible to build thisstrength. Because in our minds,
(38:36):
there's only one way to buildstrength. Usually it's lifting
weights or bodybuilding orsomething like that. Not
something like the class she'sin where we don't use any
equipment. It's all bodyweightresistance, right? It's using
that motion that our bodies gothrough every day, push, pull,
bend, twist all those things, tobuild strain for life. She was
(39:01):
living life and realizing oh, Ican do so much more than I could
do before.
Stephanie Olson (39:07):
Oh, I love that. That's amazing. And that
just goes to show you know, thatit's it's just consistency. It's
just, you know, that that everyday getting back to you know,
movement taking care ofourselves and that doesn't have
to necessarily look like aspecific thing. And and I think
(39:31):
that's so important that I justlove what you're doing.
Stephanie this is just sofantastic. Anything else that
you would want to tell somebodywho doesn't know how to get
started in this journey,whatever that looks like or
jeez, I know I need to dosomething but I don't know what
I don't know where to begin. I'mso confused. What would you tell
(39:53):
that person is so easy
Stephanie Lueras (39:56):
to overwhelm ourselves, especially with all
the noise Yeah. that's outthere, media, social media, all
the things it, we can veryquickly overwhelm ourselves. The
best thing that we can ever dois just pick one thing. What's
the one thing that you can dotoday? Like, for me, it was the
(40:19):
water, right? You know what itmight be something like putting
shoes by the door or laying outclothes, or even looking up a
phone number of a support groupor nutritionist or someone that
you feel is can be a supportbecause you don't know what the
(40:40):
next step is. But it is onething that you can take action
on right now. Because then thatone action leads to the next
action, eventually, you're gonnaput the shoes on, eventually,
you're gonna pick up the phone,we keep taking all those tiny
actions and building on eachother. That's where the change
(41:04):
comes.
Stephanie Olson (41:05):
That's fantastic. I love it. Okay,
final question. What doesresilience mean to you?
Stephanie Lueras (41:14):
Resilience mean to me, keep showing up. You
know, life, life is hard. Lifewill kick us in the teeth. Yeah.
There's no nice way. But youmight, my business coach phrases
it best when even whensomething's not working. We keep
(41:40):
showing up and doing the thing.
And I think that's probably thebest compact way to look at
resilience is it doesn't matterwhat's going on around us life
can be happening, but we keepshowing up to do the
Stephanie Olson (41:58):
thing. And you are clearly an amazing human
being of resilience. And I lovethat and I love that you're
using what you've learned toinfluence and help other people.
And it's just incredible. Sowhen is your next triathlon or
marathon or all the all thethoughts? When is your next one?
Stephanie Lueras (42:21):
You know, living the pandemic lifestyle.
You know, I've now got my 2020races that have now all come up
to 2020. Yes. So this summer,it's the beginning of August. I
have a half Ironman, andColorado.
Stephanie Olson (42:42):
Very cool.
We're in Colorado, Boulder.
Okay. Oh, beautiful. That willbe wonderful little hilly.
Stephanie Lueras (42:49):
Yeah, it is I have to I have to go do a little
little bit of elevation trainingon that. Yes. As far away to do
that, because I'm at sea levelbut okay, right.
Stephanie Olson (43:00):
Yeah, it does.
It does make a difference. Yes,I used to live in Colorado, it's
great place to live. But whenyou're out of that non flat land
for a while, it does requiresome additional training. Yes. I
love I love all that you'redoing. And thank you for being
an inspiration and just for, forhelping others through a really
(43:22):
difficult journey for so manypeople. And, and I think that
journey, sometimes and I speakfor myself, like it comes with
so much shame. And I love thatyou really are are using what
you've learned and what you'vedone in your healing and your
(43:44):
health, to just really removethat shame from people and I
think that's beautiful. Soabsolutely. Thank you. Thank you
for doing what you're doing. Andthank you for listening to
resilience in life andleadership and we will see you
next time. All right, let methank you for listening. Please
(44:06):
share with anyone you think willbenefit from this podcast.
Hi, thank you for listening. Please share with
(00:02):
anyone you think will benefitfrom this podcast. Hello and
welcome to resilience in lifeand leadership. I am honored to
introduce you to StephanieLueras. After coming to a point
in life where she was sick andtired of being sick and tired,
Stephanie needed some changes.
Through small actions and goalsetting. Stephanie has lost over
200 pounds through balancednutrition and movement. Without
(00:25):
the use of restrictive dieting,commercial weight loss plans or
supplements. She has gained alove of endurance sports,
running marathons and iscurrently training for Ironman
distance races. She uses thissame holistic goal setting model
in working with clients ingroups and individually to
empower people to break down theeveryday barriers that exist so
(00:46):
they can achieve what they areworking towards for their
personal best wellness.
Stephanie specializes inbeginner and adaptive fitness
ating those of all sizes, ages,conditions and illness, and
ability to consume consistentlytrain with their personal
motivate movement and nutritiongoals. Welcome, Stephanie.
(01:10):
Hello, and welcome to resilienceand life and leadership. And
welcome Stephanie Lueras, howare you doing?
Stephanie Lueras (01:18):
I'm great.
It's so wonderful to be herewith you today.
Stephanie Olson (01:21):
Yes, your name is amazing. And spelled
correctly. So I appreciate thatabout you. Well, the Stephanie's
are here. So I want to hear yourstory. You've got some amazing
stuff going on. You've done someincredible things. And I just
(01:42):
kind of want to dig into itbecause i i personally come from
a background with a lot ofeating disorders. And I I've,
I've always and I think you'llappreciate this but I've always
weirdly loved to work out. Andso a lot of my my friends do not
(02:04):
understand my love for justbeing active and working out but
I do I love it. So yeah, I sotell me about your journey you
have lost 200 pounds. And nowyou are this long distance
marathon triathlon training.
Amazing, fabulous person. Sotalk to me about your journey.
Stephanie Lueras (02:31):
Well, I first I will start out by I am have
not always enjoy exercise untilI found the movement. Yeah, I
enjoyed that.
Stephanie Olson (02:45):
Well, and that is the key to exercise. I think
so many people are like, Oh,I've got to exercise I've got to
exercise. And it really is justabout loving movement. That's
that's all it is and findingthat movement that you enjoy
doing.
Stephanie Lueras (02:59):
Yeah. And you know, for me, I actually, in in
where I am today did not set outto say I'm going to lose 200
pounds. That was never my goal.
That was never the benchmarkthat I was striving for. I'm a
person that's been overweight,my entire life have been on
(03:23):
every diet on the planet, youname it, I've tried it, I've
gained and lost hundreds andhundreds of pounds in my life.
So I came to this place whereI'm like, I'm done. I'm done
with the diets. But somethinghas to change. Because I don't
feel good. I'm unhappy. And I'mmaking everybody else around me
(03:43):
miserable, too. So I'm, I'm thisdriven person is goal oriented.
You know, that's just how mymind works. So, in my mind, I'm
like, What is something I cando? What what is that going to
be? The first thing I did wasdrink water. Like I didn't even
(04:03):
have the habit of hydratingmyself properly in place. Yeah.
But instead of going out andgetting that like giant, you
know, water jug and doing thesecrazy water challenges you see
on social media was a six ouncecup of water and a kitchen
timer. And every time theobnoxious timer went off, I go
(04:25):
to the other end of the officewhere the water cooler was
filling up and just repeat thatcycle over and over of drinking
water. And then it's like okay,got this What can I do now?
Instead of going through thedrive thru twice a day to feed
my husband and myself. I'm gonnacook at home doesn't matter what
(04:47):
I'm going to cook right I'mgonna cook get home habit. Yeah,
and then it became Okay, welllet's start to experiment with
recipes in the end. gradientsand how are these foods making
us feel? And just through thosesmall changes, I naturally had
started to let go of someweight, I was feeling a little
(05:11):
bit better. And so in my mind,I'm like, Okay, well now's
probably wear exercise issupposed to come into this. And,
but at the body size I was at, Iwas pretty close to losing my
mobility. So in my mind, theonly thing possible that I was
(05:31):
going to be able to do was walk.
And so I go out, I walk to theend of the street and back, and
I'm gonna die. And I do this andflip flops, because Oh, getting
on shoes would just have beenmuch worse. Yeah, yeah. But that
walk up and down the street thenbecomes around the block around
(05:54):
the neighborhood. And furtherand further. Then one day, I get
the idea. I'm like, I wonder ifI can run. I don't know where
this came from, again, girlsbasic in gym class, this is a
foreign concept. So I rentedthis stop sign, like 50 yards
down the road. And again, it'sthis I want to die. But at this
(06:18):
in that moment, something aboutmovement lit up inside me that I
had never experienced before.
And I'm like, I'm gonna have tofigure this out. So I go home
and like, we're gonna figure outthis fat girl running thing and
do all the research. I'm such anerd, like, I've got to figure
(06:39):
it all out. But then it becomes,again, building it up. And then
five K's 10 K's half marathons,marathons, jumping over into
triathlon, and building up thedistances there. So from going
to, from drinking this cup ofwater, to training for Ironman
(07:00):
distance, triathlons, all theselittle habits build on each
other. I'm also working on myemotional health, cleaning up
all that cleaning up myspiritual life and growing in
that. And without focusing onthe weight itself without saying
(07:21):
I'm gonna, you know, check offall this weight, my body let go,
I lost the 200 pounds withoutintentionally dieting, it was
everything I was doing thatcontributed to just bringing my
body to where it wanted to be.
Stephanie Olson (07:40):
And probably and you know, you said not
focusing on the weight, but alsonot focusing on the food, I
would guess that we we tend to,with this diet mentality, we
tend to just really focus onfood, and then it does literally
(08:00):
the opposite that we want towhat to do or think we need to
do or whatever the case may be.
Yeah,
Stephanie Lueras (08:07):
absolutely.
And for me coming from abackground with eating disorders
and all this other wonderfulstuff, on top of years and years
of yo yo dieting. I know it'snot about the food, right? Like,
you know, we know what to eat.
We've we've learned this alongthe line somewhere in life, we
(08:32):
generally have an idea of whatgood nutrition is, but it's
taking in it that next stepfurther to how does food make me
feel? Because just as there areas many people that walk this
planet, there is many differenteating styles that that are out
(08:53):
there. Right? So it's reallycoming to that place where we're
open to experiment with food,how does it make me feel what
works what doesn't work timingof it and in really getting back
to how we were created. And thatthat innate ability to sense
(09:16):
hunger to sense fullness andknow that okay, I'm good. Yeah,
Stephanie Olson (09:23):
it's, I think that especially in America we
have confused that so much. Andalthough yes, I think
intuitively we know what to eatwe know how to eat and things
like that. But boy, that wholediet culture and the fitness
(09:45):
movement, it has made some ofthat so confusing to the average
person like okay, wait are carbsgood or carbs bad as protein?
What do I you know, what am Isupposed to do? Should I eat
meat? Should I not eat meat? No.
It's become this, thisremarkably confusing thing. And
I love what you say because itreally everybody has a different
(10:06):
reaction to different foods,different timing of eating, and
it is different for everybody.
Stephanie Lueras (10:18):
It is. And it's, a lot of times when we
talk to people about the abilityto let go of the food rules, let
go of the restriction and kindof play around with it be your
own scientist experiment withfood, and how things make you
(10:38):
feel, right. It's a very foreignconcept. And it's it's almost
revolutionary to some people,they the idea of intuitive
eating the idea of mindfuleating, because we're so
programmed that this is thelittle box I have to live in.
And if I stray one way or theother, it's it's not okay,
(11:01):
exactly. But I liken it to lookat a toddler. They know what
they like and what they don'tlike, yep, they can eat an
entire plate of food in front ofthem and want more, or they can
eat three bites, and they'regood. And nobody has told them
(11:21):
that's good or bad. Nobody hashas changed that, that intuition
in them to know I've got what Ineed. Right? Come back for more
later. And, you know, if we canjust all revert back to that, I
think as as a people, we'd feela whole heck of a lot better.
(11:44):
Yeah,
Stephanie Olson (11:44):
I agree. And I think that the key to intuitive
eating. Because the concept isexactly what we're supposed to
do. We know, when we're hungry.
We know when we're satisfied. Wewe know intuitively to stop and
to start, but until your bodygets back to where it needs to
(12:06):
be. I mean, you know, there havebeen times in my life where
intuitively my body would say,Eat that entire box of Oreos,
and don't stop because that'swhere, and so it does take some
time to really get thatintuitive getting our bodies
(12:28):
back to where they can.
Intuitively
Stephanie Lueras (12:34):
it does Intuitive Eating is not an
overnight thing. Because once wecan let go of those food rules,
let go of the restriction. Thatis the number one fear, right
that if I take the rules off thetable, all I'm going to eat as
chocolate and candy bars allday. Right? Right. And you you
(12:55):
actually might Yeah, you mightdo that for a while because you
had some type of rule orconstruct around why this was
good or bad for so long. Thatgiving yourself that permission,
giving yourself that freedom.
You might eat it in abundancefor a while. But you are going
to come to a point and you know,you can't put a timeline on it.
(13:19):
But you're going to come to thepoint where your body's gonna
say, Okay, now we're ready forsomething else. Right? And then
you're really coming back aroundto, you know, what does a
balanced diet look like? For me?
What are those foods that serveme? What am I craving? And how
(13:40):
do I satisfy that in a way thatserves me best? Right?
Stephanie Olson (13:44):
Absolutely. So now you were actually doing some
training and coaching. Correct?
Is that? Okay? So talk to meabout that. What? What does, you
know, body positive bodyneutrality, fitness look like?
What does that coaching looklike?
Stephanie Lueras (14:05):
Well, the reality is not everyone's goal
is weight loss. There's a lot ofreasons that people want to
move, that they want to look attheir relationship with food,
the food that they're eating.
And so it's coming to a placewhere the focus is not the
(14:26):
scale, the focus is not a bodymass index. It's not these,
which is a bunch of crap. Mostracist thing ever let's just lay
it out there straight, but it isit's a statistic. It's not even
a health marker. Right, right.
(14:47):
Yeah. And, you know, we takethese arbitrary things off the
table, and look at what is itthat you really want to
accomplish? Like I never want todiscount someone's feelings,
someone might come to me andvery well say I want to lose X
number of pounds. And I'm notgoing to hand you some random
(15:10):
diet plan and exercise plan andsay, Here you go go forth and be
married. My next question iswhy? Yeah. Why do you want to
lose weight? What? What willlosing weight accomplish for
you? And when we ask thatquestion, why a few times, we
don't just even take the firstanswer. But we keep asking it,
(15:33):
we get to that vulnerable placeof things like, I want to feel
good, my clothes, I want to lookgood, totally a valid reason, I
want to be able to get up in themorning and not feel stiff, want
to get up off the floor, if Ifall down independently, or keep
up with my kids or my grandkids,we start to get really specific
(15:58):
areas that we can break downthat look at things like
nutrition, cardiovascularendurance, strength, stability,
balance, so much more. Those arethe specific things that then
those things we work on. Right,that's what we change, you're
(16:22):
going to find thetransformation, you're going to
feel how you want to feel,you're going to you're going to
satisfy that underlying why thescale may or may not change. But
in the end, that really becomesinconsequential to most people,
right? When they found okay,I've actually met what I what I
(16:45):
really want.
Stephanie Olson (16:46):
Right, right.
Oh, that's good. Well, and youknow, in my case, one of the, so
I am 53. So as we get older, ourmuscle mass decreases. And so
one of my goals is to reallyincrease muscles. And so that
totally messes up the scale. Youknow, like, if that's your, if
(17:08):
that's your bottom line, or BMI.
I mean, it just completelymesses with that, that
traditional whatever it might befor the medical world. So I have
a very controversial questionfor you. On both spectrums,
(17:31):
because I have been veryinvolved in both in different
times of my life, both the bodypositivity movement, and both
the fitness movement, and thingslike that. So what would you
say? Are the I haven't? Thisisn't the controversial question
(17:53):
yet. What would you say are thepros and cons of each movement?
So body positivity versus theyou know, the fitness movement?
Stephanie Lueras (18:05):
Well, you know, just like everything on
the planet, there's good and badabout both. And, you know, when
we look at body positivity, Ialmost, I almost don't like
using that term sometimes.
Because we get this idea in ourmind, like, oh, it's all about
you loving yourself. It's selflove. It's this great positivity
(18:27):
thing. I almost err more on theside of body neutrality, like,
are you okay with yourself? Canyou accept yourself? Are you
living in your body in thepresent moment? Or are you
living in some future imaginaryimage or what you used to be,
(18:48):
instead of this is who I amright now, and be okay with it.
And that sometimes it takes alittle work to get to that place
of being okay with who we are,as we are now. And a lot of
times, that's where fitness andthis idea of body positivity,
(19:10):
body neutrality collide, becausewith the fitness industry, we
have, sometimes the aesthetic,that there's an idea of, unless
you look a certain way, or act acertain way, perform a certain
way, then you're not a fitperson, right? You're not
(19:33):
achieving whatever the magicbenchmark is, but it's changing
our idea and our perception ofwhat fitness is, right? You is
is fitness something that thatyou are engaging in because
you're trying to look a certainway or is it because you
(19:55):
understand the benefit of mu MITfor whatever it is that that you
want to be or who you are,
Stephanie Olson (20:05):
that's so good.
Because I think that, and I mayor may not ask you a
controversial question, becauseI think what you just said is
fantastic. I think the extremesof both messed my mind, I mean,
really mess me up. And I thinkdefinitely with the fitness
movement, this altra. You know,this is the look, this is what
(20:28):
you have to be this is what, andthat is something that you just
can't necessarily or shouldn'twant to aspire to be if that's
just what you're trying toaspire to be. And on the same
token, the body positivitymovement, I followed that for
for quite a while. And I foundthat I started to some of the
(20:53):
forums that you can get on onboth of those can be just
attacking and horrifying. But Ifound that the body positivity
movement really messed with myhead, because it was this
mentality of if you want to loseweight, you are wrong. And there
(21:15):
was this weird thing going onand on. And then on the fitness,
if you don't want to loseweight, you are wrong. And it
was just this, where is where isthe middle ground. So I love the
body neutrality. That that is animportant piece because it
(21:37):
really is about, you know, beingcomfortable in your skin, right
where you are. And that doesn'teven mean you want to. You want
to be status quo. But it's it'sjust a very different. I love
that. So yeah, thank you.
(21:57):
Because I think there really areextremes on both ends.
Stephanie Lueras (22:00):
And I think when we look at the extremes of
both movements, we move moretowards exclusivity, yes, that
we were really somewhere towardsthe middle, when we're focusing
on individual movement, whenwe're focusing on that presence
(22:26):
in who we are, in this moment,away from the edge from the
edges, I think that's where westart to really open up to the
conversations that we can talkabout the inclusivity that we
can talk about adaptive fitness,that we can talk about
(22:46):
accessibility, that we can talkabout the different people in
sizes, and what ever that existson every plane within fitness
within sports. And then it's notjust an archetype, it's not just
a gender, it's not just an ageright there. It's not just an
(23:08):
ability, we can take all ofthose things out of the
conversation.
Stephanie Olson (23:14):
Yeah, exactly.
And, you know, it's sointeresting, because you you
said drinking water, and then Istarted walking. And I think
that sometimes we negate one ofthe best forms of movement in
the world that is walking Imean, it's, it's, I'm just
walking Well, that is great.
(23:36):
That is a positive thing. Andthat that I and I walk I love
walking with my dog gets upsetwith me if I don't, and I'm kind
of a worse Walker, I only walkin nice weather outside. So I
gotta admit, but walking is someof the that's when I feel the
best about myself. Because I'moutside, I'm enjoying the air.
(24:00):
I'm enjoying, you know,creation, and just all of the
things and it it just changes myentire mindset. So yeah.
Stephanie Lueras (24:10):
And even along that same wine, you know, it not
even so much what we're doing.
But the quantity Yeah, I hear sooften. People say, Well, I can't
do 30 minutes, four minutes, 60minutes. So what it does, it
doesn't count. Don't count forwhat, right, you know, that we
(24:32):
discount sometimes this wholecumulative effect that we're
actually providing ourselvesthat go out for five minutes,
six times a week. Well, thereyou go. You've now had 30
minutes you've benefited yourbody with that mentioned, right?
That's right. It doesn't have tobe in one single pop. There is
actual scientific evidence. Youdon't have to do it. All at once
(24:59):
you can really break it into thelittle tiny parts, right will
have great benefit from it.
That's right.
Stephanie Olson (25:06):
In fact, a lot of times there is a huge benefit
in quality over quantity. So itis, that's, that's a huge thing.
I love it. So what did you dothen? Were you primarily when,
(25:28):
when you were, you know, justfinding what worked for you as
far as fitness and as far asmovement and eating? Did you
need some sort ofaccountability? Or was there
something about it that justreally, this is just what is
(25:48):
feeling good.
Stephanie Lueras (25:51):
You know, there I am, like the world's
biggest proponent ofaccountability, it's like one of
my favorite words. And I thinkit is essential. And it's
something that I've always had,on some level. At the beginning,
I didn't need a whole lot to tobe drinking water and cooking at
(26:13):
home, you know, a few cookbooksand we're good to go. But you
know, as as things got beyondthe scope of what I could do,
and what what I could read in abook, then it was okay, like,
now I need a coach. Now I need asports dietitian. You know, now
(26:33):
as as I'm going through allthese changes, let's go back to
therapy and deal with all thecrap that I've put aside. It's
bringing in those people inthose systems and those
resources that help us tocontinue to grow because we can
only go so far on our own. Butwhen we realize, okay, now I've
(26:53):
hit this plateau and need alittle bit more. That's where we
bring in that extra help to keepmoving forward.
Stephanie Olson (27:01):
Right? Oh, that's good. Well, can you talk
at all to eating disorders and,and anybody who has experience
any eating disorders, Ipersonally have struggled with
anorexia, bulimia and bingeeating disorder. So try try to
hit them all, you know, I am atype A person, that's what I do.
(27:24):
So if I can, if I can hit themall, I'm gonna do it. That's
what I'm going to do. I don'twant to do anything halfway. So
what what would you just say toanyone who's struggling with
eating disorders?
Stephanie Lueras (27:37):
You know, I, myself have have two diagnosed
eating disorders. And that's notto say that you need an actual
diagnosis to struggle with food.
There's a whole spectrum ofdisordered eating to eating
disorders. Yeah. And we all fallthere probably somewhere I have
(27:58):
yet to meet someone that has aperfect relationship with food.
And sometimes, what we think isokay, probably is maybe isn't.
And it's, it's been a open tohaving conversations, to, to
(28:23):
really be honest with someoneelse, because it's really easy
for us to stay in our own headsabout our relationship with
food. Oh, that's not a problem.
I don't do this. This isn't. Butwhen other people may or may not
(28:46):
see what we're doing. And thenwe start to talk about this
habit or that habit. That's,that sounds a little a little
off a little interesting. Andthey start seeing red flags.
It's it. First of all, who inyour circle? Can you lean on for
(29:08):
support? Right, who's there foryou. And we need to have some
kind of support. And it may notbe friends, it may not be family
because sometimes that thosearen't the healthiest people to
lean on. When we are strugglingin this area. It might be
seeking out a coach seeking outa nutritionist seeking out a
(29:32):
registered dietician looking attherapy specifically with
somebody that is trained arounddisordered eating and eating
disorders. And for me, I didn'tunderstand the root of my eating
disorders, until I dealt withreally the acute phase of my
(29:54):
PTSD and the trauma that I hadgone through, right. I didn't
know Stan I, it had justmagnified. Right? All of my
issues with food that I had froma very young age. Absolutely.
Absolutely. And like, you know,we, we don't think Oh, okay. I,
(30:14):
you know, this stuff ismanifesting in my relationship
with food. Yeah. Because we eatevery day. In theory. Well,
that's the problem, we don'talways pick up on what might be
actually problematic.
Stephanie Olson (30:29):
Yeah, you know, that's a really excellent point.
Because, as I said, I don't domoderation well, so I am also
recovering alcoholic, and theyhave all of the addictions and
smoking, alcohol. And those wereso much easier, not easy, but so
(30:52):
much easier to conquer. BecauseI could literally give them up.
And with food, you have to eatevery day. And you have to find
a way to do that withoutaggravating any sort of
disordered eating. Yeah.
Stephanie Lueras (31:13):
And you it's something that no matter how
much therapy you've had, nomatter how much coaching you've
gone through, it's still anintentional work, right? Every
single day, whether we'reconscious of it or not, like
even today, I had therealization Oh, crap, I gotta go
(31:36):
and alter things again. Becauselife is changing a little bit,
not only to my clients and mygroup classes that I do, but now
I've added group classes thatare in the pool. So now I'm
super hungry. Yeah, totallythrown off kind of the, the way
I eat and how that works throughthe day. And I'm like, oh, no,
(31:58):
I've actually got to go to go tothe store and figure out what
are the snacks gonna look like?
And how, how do I navigate this?
Right? And like, this is yearsout now, like, in my mind, I'm
like, I should have this figuredout. But it still comes with
(32:18):
that trepidation of I know, Idon't want to engage in these
behaviors. But I want to carefor myself in the best way
possible.
Stephanie Olson (32:30):
Absolutely. And what if you don't have a support
system around you, thatunderstands, I think there's,
there's so many people and thatin that old diet mentality
mindset. So this food is reallybad, this food is really good.
(32:50):
And you know, that, that youneed to look a certain way in
order to be approved? I don'tknow, whatever. How do you deal
with things like that? Or whatdo you tell your clients, when
they are struggling with peoplewho they don't, who they have
around them who are such anegative support,
Stephanie Lueras (33:14):
you know, this, this is something that I
have family members that arelike this, that that are still
stuck on the, you know, you youlose weight to look like this,
you have to eat this way and,and continually, even after the
years that I've put into thisand have come to this place
(33:37):
where I'm a completely differentperson, not only physically but
mentally, you know, just happierin not like, you know, the
roaring which every day clearclearly
Stephanie Olson (33:51):
has to go away.
Stephanie Lueras (33:55):
Every day, let's Okay, okay, good. But
it's, it's I have those peoplein my life. And, you know, do I
do I really want to cut cut outmy family? Not Not really. I
understand that. Yeah, somepeople have to go to that
extreme. Yeah, but it's, it'sexercising the boundaries of
(34:18):
what we will and will not acceptin our lives. If we've reached
the point where we can be vocalabout it to put into words why
something is acceptable orunacceptable, having the
conversations, but sometimes itis removing ourselves from a
conversation, removing ourselvesphysically from the room and
(34:42):
just, you know, we're changingthe subject. Yes,
Stephanie Olson (34:46):
yeah. And that can be so challenging. I will.
How do I say this withoutcalling me? I will never forget.
A very important thing. You'rein my children's lives. who,
when they were young, and I havetwo girls and a boy, and so it
(35:07):
was specifically the girls, andtalking about, oh, you're
getting a little fat here? Oh,you need to? And I would just
constantly No, we don't saythat. We don't talk like that.
And it was just such a struggle,because it was just, I mean, it
wasn't even a thought it this isjust how they communicated.
(35:29):
Yeah, that's hard. Oh, good. Ithink that those boundaries are
so important. They're hard toput in place.
Stephanie Lueras (35:38):
They are. It's definitely a practice, just, you
know, just like that, thatintentional action every day.
Boundaries are attentional?
Stephanie Olson (35:50):
Yeah, they are.
And I just spoke to someonetoday who was talking about, you
know, we were talking aboutforgiveness, and we were talking
about healthy relationships.
And, and they made a commentthat, you know, that everybody
that that it takes two partiesto, to heal a relationship
(36:10):
that's broken. And but I added,yes, that's true. But sometimes
we don't, those are notrelationships, we even should
attempt to heal. Not that. Notthat we don't forgive those
people and let that go. But notall relationships should be in
our lives. Right? Yeah.
Stephanie Lueras (36:33):
And it's it's having the discernment of, you
know, is Is this worth it? Isthis worth the effort? Is this
worth the heartache Is thisworth continually putting myself
into a situation like this overand over again,
Stephanie Olson (36:51):
right? I love it. So tell me, if you can tell
me like one of the mostsignificant transformations that
you saw in an individual.
Stephanie Lueras (37:07):
One of my favorites is, I do some group
fitness classes, and one of themis mostly older adults. And I
had one I had one woman in herearly 80s, that had had been
convinced that I'm never goingto get any stronger. That I am
(37:31):
only here to just move my bodycontinue to maintain what I have
today, I will never getstronger. This was the mindset
she came in with. And shecontinues to show up faithfully
do the things love it, becausewe have this wonderful community
around it where you know, that'shalf the thing with group
(37:53):
fitness, you build thecommunity. And for her, she
actually have this piece ofequipment in her living room,
that she always talked aboutnever being able to lift, and
she'd have to have her son comeover and move it so that she
could vacuum. And after a periodof time, she realized one day
(38:15):
that she was vacuuming and allof a sudden just picked it up.
Wow. moved on with wife. And shestood there shocked. Because
she's like, I couldn't have donethis before. I didn't think it
was possible to build thisstrength. Because in our minds,
(38:36):
there's only one way to buildstrength. Usually it's lifting
weights or bodybuilding orsomething like that. Not
something like the class she'sin where we don't use any
equipment. It's all bodyweightresistance, right? It's using
that motion that our bodies gothrough every day, push, pull,
bend, twist all those things, tobuild strain for life. She was
(39:01):
living life and realizing oh, Ican do so much more than I could
do before.
Stephanie Olson (39:07):
Oh, I love that. That's amazing. And that
just goes to show you know, thatit's it's just consistency. It's
just, you know, that that everyday getting back to you know,
movement taking care ofourselves and that doesn't have
to necessarily look like aspecific thing. And and I think
(39:31):
that's so important that I justlove what you're doing.
Stephanie this is just sofantastic. Anything else that
you would want to tell somebodywho doesn't know how to get
started in this journey,whatever that looks like or
jeez, I know I need to dosomething but I don't know what
I don't know where to begin. I'mso confused. What would you tell
(39:53):
that person is so easy
Stephanie Lueras (39:56):
to overwhelm ourselves, especially with all
the noise Yeah. that's outthere, media, social media, all
the things it, we can veryquickly overwhelm ourselves. The
best thing that we can ever dois just pick one thing. What's
the one thing that you can dotoday? Like, for me, it was the
(40:19):
water, right? You know what itmight be something like putting
shoes by the door or laying outclothes, or even looking up a
phone number of a support groupor nutritionist or someone that
you feel is can be a supportbecause you don't know what the
(40:40):
next step is. But it is onething that you can take action
on right now. Because then thatone action leads to the next
action, eventually, you're gonnaput the shoes on, eventually,
you're gonna pick up the phone,we keep taking all those tiny
actions and building on eachother. That's where the change
(41:04):
comes.
Stephanie Olson (41:05):
That's fantastic. I love it. Okay,
final question. What doesresilience mean to you?
Stephanie Lueras (41:14):
Resilience mean to me, keep showing up. You
know, life, life is hard. Lifewill kick us in the teeth. Yeah.
There's no nice way. But youmight, my business coach phrases
it best when even whensomething's not working. We keep
(41:40):
showing up and doing the thing.
And I think that's probably thebest compact way to look at
resilience is it doesn't matterwhat's going on around us life
can be happening, but we keepshowing up to do the
Stephanie Olson (41:58):
thing. And you are clearly an amazing human
being of resilience. And I lovethat and I love that you're
using what you've learned toinfluence and help other people.
And it's just incredible. Sowhen is your next triathlon or
marathon or all the all thethoughts? When is your next one?
Stephanie Lueras (42:21):
You know, living the pandemic lifestyle.
You know, I've now got my 2020races that have now all come up
to 2020. Yes. So this summer,it's the beginning of August. I
have a half Ironman, andColorado.
Stephanie Olson (42:42):
Very cool.
We're in Colorado, Boulder.
Okay. Oh, beautiful. That willbe wonderful little hilly.
Stephanie Lueras (42:49):
Yeah, it is I have to I have to go do a little
little bit of elevation trainingon that. Yes. As far away to do
that, because I'm at sea levelbut okay, right.
Stephanie Olson (43:00):
Yeah, it does.
It does make a difference. Yes,I used to live in Colorado, it's
great place to live. But whenyou're out of that non flat land
for a while, it does requiresome additional training. Yes. I
love I love all that you'redoing. And thank you for being
an inspiration and just for, forhelping others through a really
(43:22):
difficult journey for so manypeople. And, and I think that
journey, sometimes and I speakfor myself, like it comes with
so much shame. And I love thatyou really are are using what
you've learned and what you'vedone in your healing and your
(43:44):
health, to just really removethat shame from people and I
think that's beautiful. Soabsolutely. Thank you. Thank you
for doing what you're doing. Andthank you for listening to
resilience in life andleadership and we will see you
next time. All right, let methank you for listening. Please
(44:06):
share with anyone you think willbenefit from this podcast.
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