January 1, 2025 • 46 mins
Discover how faith intersects with body image and personal transformation in this powerful episode featuring Joylin Syme from Revelation Within Ministry. Listen in as she shares her journey through eating disorders, childhood trauma, and autoimmune disease, revealing how inviting God into her struggles has been essential for her physical and spiritual healing. We dive into the concepts of identity in Christ, the freedom of mind renewal, and practical spiritual disciplines like breath prayers and scripture meditation that have reshaped her life. Her story is one of resilience, marked by desperation in her relationship with Jesus.
Learn more about our Revelation Within Community: https://www.revelationwithin.org
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi and welcome to Revelation Within On the Go.
I'm Heidi Biles-Mapperson, oneof your hosts and the owner and
lead coach of the RevelationWithin Ministry.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within.
We are so excited to invite youto this very special episode of
Revelation Within on the Go.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Well, that was fun.
There were three of us who weregreeting you.
Today we have a very special,special episode for you.
We're excited that Joy LynnSyme, who is a very important
part of our ministry here atRevelation Within, is joining us
today to be interviewed.
We think her life and herwealth of knowledge and wisdom
(00:58):
has a lot to offer any of ourlisteners.
So welcome, joy Lynn.
Yay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We're so glad you're you.
We're so glad you're here.
We're so glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yes, and we just have to share with the listeners
that the person who does themagic of all of our podcasts is
Joy Lynn.
She does all the editing and,believe you me, we give her a
lot to edit.
So, if you are missing allthose awkward pauses and trips
over our tongues and whatnot,it's because Joylyn has expertly
(01:31):
removed them and she does allkinds of other stuff for our
ministry as well.
I just want you to know, infront of God and everybody, that
I appreciate you so much, somuch.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Oh, I am.
I am so grateful for the pairof you so much.
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yay.
Well, let's dive right on in.
Tell us about you, your seasonof life, what you do, your
family, your schooling I knowyou've got some fun things going
on right now what you enjoy,what fills your heart.
Who is Joy Lynn Syme?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Okay, well, it's funny.
When you were asking about theseason in life, the first thing
that comes to my head I guess Ineed to preface everything my
brain is almost entirely lyricsof songs.
So when we're asking about theseason, I hear old Stevie Nicks
song landslide.
That's kind of where I'm atright now, if you know.
(02:26):
You know, I'm currently aworship pastor at my church.
I've been doing that for aboutalmost 11 years now.
I've been married to my highschool best friend for almost 30
years.
It's going to be 30 years in2025.
We have four kids, four adultchildren and a son-in-law, or
(02:47):
son-in-love I like to call himand then an extremely theatrical
, precocious three-year-oldgranddaughter who just makes me
smile all the time.
She's just amazing.
They all live fairly close.
So I got to spend Christmaswith them and it was good.
Yeah, it's a lot.
(03:07):
There's a lot of them and a lotof opinions, but it's a
wonderful time to see howthey're all growing up.
I homeschooled them when theywere all younger, so currently
I'm actually studying to becomea clinical herbalist, a
Christian herbalist.
I'm going in that direction.
(03:28):
I have a very big desire tohave people be completely whole,
physically, spiritually, andcompletely free from counterfeit
comforts.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Amen so.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
I feel like you know, the herbalism is kind of part
of that Trauma informed,understanding how our body works
, understanding the aspects thatwe do in Revelation.
Within all of that, you know,actually getting healed from the
inside out is super important.
I struggle with an autoimmunecondition and so this is kind of
out of desperation.
I started doing all this formyself and I'm, like you know,
(04:03):
god's calling me to something alittle higher here, so that's my
hope, I guess.
My hobbies I have vintagehobbies.
I love fiber arts.
I love spinning wool andprocessing and doing all the
knitting.
I have these grandma arts, Idon't know.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I love vintage Thank you, joy Lynn, yay, and you're a
lot of fun too, by the way.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah, definitely, definitely.
So we would love to hear aboutyour relationship with Jesus and
how it is growing.
Where are the two of you at?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Yeah, so my relationship with God is based
almost entirely on desperation.
I, jolynn Syme, desperatelyneed the love, the truth and the
help of Abba pretty much to doanything.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
I can relate to that.
Heidi and I and probably a lotof people listening yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I've spent a lot of my life trying to do things for
him in his name and in my ownstrength.
So at this point in my life I'mlike I've realized, just
through everything I mean Iguess you know just life, I
don't have that ability.
I can't do that without him.
I can't, I can't be without God, you know, and I'm learning so
(05:29):
much about his goodness and hisfaithfulness and that he's
trustworthy.
This has been something I'vehad to work through, because
control you guys will hear aboutthat a little bit has been an
issue with me and I think someof the, even the physical stuff
I've dealt with, has justbrought me to a place of
desperation.
And so, yeah, I think thatthat's that's really where I'm
(05:51):
at with God.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
It's just yeah, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Joy Lynn.
God has blessed me with havinga privilege of a pretty close
friendship with you, joy Lynn,and as such, I mean I've had a
chance to get to know some ofwhat makes you tick a little bit
.
I think your upbringing wasextremely unique oh boy was it
(06:16):
and it's contributed to a lot ofthings that you like beliefs,
especially that you hold aboutfood, about eating, about body
image.
Would you mind terriblydescribing some of that for our
listeners?
I bet you there's a bazillionpeople that can relate to what
you share?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yeah, so I think about this and I think about my
story.
My dad was my mom's drug dealerto begin with, so that's a big
deal when we start with thatkind of idea.
They were first generationChristians.
They were radically saved drugaddicts and there's no doubt in
my mind that God absolutely dida miracle in their lives.
(06:56):
The problem, as I can kind ofsee it now as an adult and
looking back on this, is thatthey never experienced healthy
discipleship and they never knewhow to renew their minds.
So this led them to constantlyseeking counterfeit comforts and
(07:18):
they saw, you know, things thatthey saw as safe and not sinful
necessarily.
So in this case, a lot of itwas food related.
My dad was morbidly obese andwas addicted to food and
cigarettes and diets.
I mean that was because he wasalways trying and my mom was
(07:41):
severely anorexic and she camefrom an abusive home, so there
was a lot that she never quitedealt with.
So I can see these things now.
But the result of that growingup was that there was so much
shame, there was so much food.
(08:01):
My mom would talk about howmuch she hated food and my dad
didn't like himself and therewas a lot of bad things that
happened.
Someone was always on a dietMom hid the idea of it was
healthy food, you know but therewas very little of it that she
would eat and very little littleof it that she would allow us
(08:23):
to eat.
But my dad would just eat andeat and eat.
So it was hard.
He also was a elder at thechurch and a chaplain in prison
ministries and he was able towork with very hard people and
bring them to the Lord hardpeople and bring them to the
(08:50):
Lord.
However, he had a very violenttemper with us and it was
complicated because I know mydad loved the Lord, I know my
mom loved the Lord and I knowthere were plenty of people who
were affected by their testimony.
But at home that is not what weexperienced.
We experienced physical abusethat was under the guise of
(09:11):
being disciplined and yeah, soit was.
It was difficult.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I'm so sorry, thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
It's interesting because, as I've been working
with Heidi, thank you.
It's interesting because asI've been working with Heidi,
I've been able to realize thismore and more.
You know that there actuallywas the word trauma and that has
been very hard for me to wrapmy head around.
I have been able to go furtherin my healing since I've been
(09:42):
able to recognize andacknowledge that I went through
trauma.
I think that's really importantfor anyone out there listening
that I'm not blaming all of myissues on it, but this is
something that absolutelyaffects the rest of my life, the
(10:03):
rest of my story and even mychildren's story.
So as a result of my upbringing, when I was about 11 years old,
I remember the time very, verywell.
Kind of south of ColoradoSprings, where I live, is a
place called Pueblo and there'sa big reservoir down there and
(10:25):
we don't have a whole lot ofwater around Colorado.
So Pueblo Reservoir is kind ofthe big body of water and we
would go down there camping andI was in my swimming suit.
I remember 11 years old in myswimming suit and I was just
kind of getting out of the shadeand my dad was sitting down
(10:45):
next to me and he tapped mytummy and made a comment about
how I was looking a littlethicker.
And I remember that moment andI remember the decision that I
made.
I remember the oath that I madeat that moment.
(11:07):
It was a vow which has sinceI've broken it, but I said I
will never be like you, dad.
And so at you know, 11 yearsold, I made that decision.
I started with deciding that Iwas going to become a vegetarian
.
You know, because there was alot of meat in our house and I
(11:29):
embraced at that moment aneating disorder and it was
probably brewing.
Before that, because of what Ihad seen, my parents both had
eating disorders.
I mean the morbidly obese, theanorexic, the bulimic they're
all the same stronghold.
Just if anyone's curious, it'sall the same.
(11:50):
And I think in some ways I alsoused that disorder as a
protective mechanism.
It became a companion, for lackof a better term.
So that's kind of where thatcame from.
Did you struggle with anorexia?
(12:11):
Very much, okay, very much.
When I got married at 19, I wasvery, very, very unhealthy,
very, very, very unhealthy.
I look at my wedding picturesand it's hard because I have
struggled with body dysmorphia,that even at even at my
(12:32):
skinniest.
I remember thinking thesethoughts like seeing my hips and
seeing my shoulders blades andthinking if I could just scrape
those down then maybe I would bea better size.
And it's interesting because Iremember at one point in my
teens my mom confronted me onanorexia and I was like whoa,
(12:57):
because she was a raginganorexic.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
And I'm like she confronted you about being too
anorexic or something.
Yes, oh my gosh, I didn't knowthat.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Yeah, and you know the word hypocrite was very big
in my brain most of the timewhen I was a teenager.
Yeah, I was extremelyunderweight and you know I used
to be in marching band andeverything and I remember I
would pass out often because Ijust wouldn't eat for days, and
(13:27):
when I did eat I would sneakfood and that's been something
I've struggled with even totoday.
I know that there's anotherclass coming up which I want to
encourage everyone to come to.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Secret of Eating.
We're calling it Escape fromSecret of Eating.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah, and that has a lot of power and you want to
break that power and so yeah, sothat was that was where it
started.
When I got married, I struggledwith depression a lot as well
I'm severe depression and when Igot married very young, I love
(14:03):
my husband so much.
I think some of the reasonsthat I got married so young
might've not been for the rightreasons.
I was trying to get away fromsome of the abuse, right yeah
and um, so I fell into somedepression and I and actually
started gaining some weight.
Um, when I got pregnant with myfirst child, I discovered
(14:24):
bulimia and that was that was.
It was kind of because of, youknow, morning sickness and
everything, and I realized, wow,this is something.
So that was my biggest, I think, for most of my life.
I think bulimia was the loudestof all three of them.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
So all three being anorexia, overeating and bulimia
.
Correct, yeah, wow.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Thank you for sharing that.
Yeah, thanks, joy Lynn.
I wanted to just go back reallyquick.
When you mentioned beingdesperate for the Lord.
Yeah, being desperate for theLord, you know it's just the
best place to be.
And now, listening to this storyand how you've shared about
this incredibly traumaticupbringing that you had and that
(15:18):
you know you have come out hereI mean, god has brought you
into a place of being such abeautiful, beautiful person and
you have so much to give and somuch to share, and so somehow,
even though it was so painfuland difficult, nothing will be
wasted.
You know, and that's God willuse it and he's using it right
(15:41):
now as you share, which takes somuch courage.
You know you're so brave toshare, and so I love that you
describe your relationship withGod as desperate.
That's the best place to be.
You know, when we are desperatefor him, we are the most open
to what he's calling us to andto his healing and comfort and
(16:04):
all those things that we allneed.
I just wanted to say thank youfor being so brave to share your
story and your desperation forthe Lord.
It's beautiful, even though I'mso, so sorry that that happened
for you, joy Lynn, and for somany people who are listening, I
think you know their storiesmight be similar, yeah, okay.
(16:26):
So moving forward, we'd love tohear when did you kind of
invite God in to your strugglewith food and eating kind of to
the whole story and body image?
Yeah, yeah, and body image andyou know how has God met you in
this incredibly challengingsituation?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Sure, after I had my oldest daughter I knew that I
was.
You know, I wasn't doing somegreat things.
I always knew that, you know,this is not the way to be
healthy.
So very early on I tried toinvite God in as soon as I found
out that was a possibility,because that was never something
(17:11):
I was aware of when I was achild, you know, or even growing
up it was.
You know, these were separatethings.
But I had a friend, a very,very dear friend, who lives in
Oregon, who invited me to go toWeigh Down workshop, and so I
remember having my daughter'sname is Michaela.
Also, I know that Heidi'sdaughter's name, michaela,
(17:32):
spelled different.
I remember having Michaela inthe little carrier and going to
focus on the family and that'swhere they were doing the
classes.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
I would go there every week with my friend, patty
and her mom and I was learningthings, and I was learning about
being mindful and how God was apart of this.
But there was a lot of shamewith that Because the standard
(18:05):
that was presented to me I couldnot live up to and it ended up
complicating things with myrelationship with the Lord
because I couldn't do what Ithought I was supposed to do for
him, thought I was supposed todo for him, and so it actually
(18:27):
ended up triggering the eatingdisorders even more, saying I
didn't.
I didn't have enough selfcontrol to eat the way I was
supposed to.
According to Weigh Down.
According to Weigh Down, yes,according to what I, what I saw
from Weigh Down, there was verylittle grace in it.
It's either you do it or you'renot good enough um is what.
I got, and then I mean I hadfilters obviously, so not very
(18:51):
healthy filters, but that'swhere I got from it, so it
actually almost made it worse.
At that point I knew God wassupposed to be, but I didn't
know my role in his role.
Does that make sense?
Oh yeah, we hear that a lot,yeah, so I continued with that.
I continued to go diet to dietand I kept taking control back
(19:18):
from God that I can take it fromhim, he's in control.
And it's difficult because Iwas always I've always been very
visible and on stage forsomething different thing.
I've led for women'sconferences, I've been singing
and acting in musicals, I'veplayed different instruments on
stage, I've led worship, and soI've been very, very sizes and
(19:42):
and everything like you knowit's gone up and down and up and
down, and so that has been.
You know, the shame was reallybig with that.
You know, being visible onstage and feeling shame, and I
always felt like I had to hidemy dirty little secret.
There was a women's retreat forthe church I grew up in and I
(20:03):
was helping to lead worship andI remember there was a room that
they had off to the side thathad a cross in it and you're
supposed to be writing things ona rock and putting it at the
foot of the cross throughout theweekend.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
I avoided going in there, but there was something
gnawing on me so hard, and thisis actually.
I had just lost a great deal ofweight using Weight Watchers.
At that point, um, it wasweight watchers and bulimia is
what was happening.
So, I'm not gonna.
I'm not gonna pretend like thatwas okay.
I knew that it was an issue andwhen I finally decided to go
(20:39):
into the room, I was overwhelmedwith emotion and God made it
very clear to me that I'm nottrusting him, that I did not
trust God at that moment andthat the majority of everything
I was dealing with was becauseof that and nobody else knew.
I never said anything to anyoneabout the eating disorders.
(21:01):
Yeah, and you know, you getcompliments and oh, look, how
thin you look and everythinglike that.
And because you're on stage andyou know lots of people
throughout my life, a lot ofpeople give their opinions about
what I look like.
So I think at that moment, whenGod revealed to me you know you
(21:25):
don't trust me, I think Istarted to realize that
desperation.
It's like, okay, I need tofigure something else out.
So I did end up revealing tosomebody that that's what I was
dealing with and they actuallystarted going into some
counseling, some Christiancounseling for the eating
disorder at that point Awesome.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Yeah, good.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
In that process, I was praying to God to show me
something.
I'm like, okay, you know, thisis an issue, so I need help.
So I started looking forsomething that was like Weigh
Down but not Weigh Down.
So I started doing someresearch and I also saw the
leader of Weigh Down on a talkshow and I'm like, okay, god,
(22:10):
she's not quite right in thehead, but I know what she's
saying is right.
So what's the answer?
And so I started researchingand I found Thin Within.
And that's when I connectedwith Heidi.
How many years ago was that?
So I found it in 2012, but Istarted coaching with you in
(22:31):
2014.
Okay, so it was about the sametime Christina did.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Yeah, we started coaching in 2014.
My Colorado girls.
Yeah, I had been doing thinwithin for quite a while on my
own and in groups and notgetting anywhere at all yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Our coaching began in 2014 and about the same time I
was coaching with anotherColorado girl and so when.
I came to Colorado, I got tomeet up with y'all and it was so
much fun.
But anyway, so back to yourstory.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Yeah.
So I guess one of the thingsyou'd asked was um, how has God
been meeting me in the falsebeliefs that were established?
And I'm a slow learner.
It taken me a lot of years toallow God to actually begin
tearing down the lies that I hadlearned from childhood, I bet.
But one of the things I lovethere was a book called hunger
(23:26):
within.
I actually got out the book Ithink it was last night.
Heidi and I started looking atit again and all the notes we
had taken together.
But in the first chapter ittalks about grave clothes being
removed and the different layers, and I think that that's
something that I've had torealize.
Sometimes it's a slow process,sometimes there are things you
(23:49):
have to go through and thedifferent layers, and so I think
that's where I'm at right now.
God started tearing down thoselies and replacing them with the
truths, and it's stillsomething, obviously daily.
I need to just silence theenemy and listen to what he's
saying, to just you know,silence the enemy and listen to
(24:09):
what he's saying Good stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
So for those who are listening when you talk about
lies, I mean some people I knoware might be like what is she
talking about lies?
What are the lies about you?
Are the lies about God or thelies about what?
Speaker 1 (24:22):
are they about?
Yeah, give us some examples.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Some of the lies are that I'm not good enough, that I
haven't done enough, that heisn't good or that he is like my
earthly father Right, those aresome big ones that he isn't
(24:45):
trustworthy.
I mean, you know that if I hadenough self-discipline, I would
look a certain way right now.
My health would be good enoughif I had enough self-discipline.
Those are some of the lies thatI have to combat.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
What about worthy of love?
Were there any lies that cameout of your childhood, maybe,
that you struggled with, or evenstill struggle with
occasionally, about what ittakes to be worthy of love,
either from God or from others,or for yourself?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Oh, absolutely.
I think the worthiness ingeneral, worthy to eat, that is.
That is something even I'll becompletely honest listener Even
today did I earn the right toeat, Did I earn the love that I
need?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Did I do?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
enough to be loved?
Did I do enough to be accepted?
And obviously, even as I'msaying this, it sounds
ridiculous.
No, no, it doesn't these arethe realities of what the enemy
tries to throw at.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Yes, I think there's more people who can identify
with that than we could everimagine.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Both Heidi and I have heard those same lies shared so
many times, and we've sharedthem ourselves as well.
So, I appreciate those examplesfor sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
What has God been teaching you about breaking free
from the impact of believingthose lies?
You know that shame and fearand self reliance, and I'll do
it my way or whatever.
How has he been teaching youabout that stuff?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Well.
So the biggest thing is I knowshame is not from God, it's from
the enemy Fear is a liar, yes,and like I said earlier, I can
do all things only in hisstrength.
I mean like there's nothingelse.
I cannot conjure or create areality where I'm enough without
him.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Right.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Yeah, so I think that that's a big thing.
Also, an interesting thing iswhen I think about trying to be
good enough.
The reality is there willalways be someone who is better
than me.
Someone's going to be a bettersinger, someone's going to be a
better mother.
Say, oh, this is a standard andthere's a really wonderful
(27:10):
colloquialism, it's true iscomparison is the thief of joy?
Yes, and even against myself,that's not what I should be
trying to do.
It's I need to be understandingwho I am in God, my identity in
Christ, and so I think thatthat's what he's been teaching
(27:31):
me.
You know that it's not aboutanyone else not even about me.
It's about him.
I've just spent so much of mylife trying to control
everything, yeah.
So I think those are the bigthings he's been teaching me
about that, and how much freedomthere is when I'm not going to
say let go and let God, becauseI think theologically there
(27:52):
might be some issues with that.
But there is something.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I think that so many people come to us with so much
shame and feeling so unworthyand feeling like I'm not enough,
I've never been enough, I willnever be enough, which is true,
as you said, god is enough in us.
But I think it's so importantthat you know we have compassion
(28:18):
towards ourselves and gracetowards ourselves for all that
we've been through.
You know, everybody has a story.
We wouldn't be here at thispodcast unless we had a story
many and most of us about food,eating, body image, many, many
about abuse.
So I just think it's soimportant.
(28:39):
I feel like we have been andI'm speaking about myself too
mean, basically mean toourselves for so many years.
You know, and it's like, wait aminute, look at all I've been
through, look at all you've beenthrough, look at all Heidi's
been through and what God hasdone.
I think for so many of us, it'sso hard to be compassionate
(29:02):
toward ourselves and to giveourselves grace and say, wow,
look what you've been through,oh my gosh.
And you know, look who you are.
You're God's girl, you'rebeautiful, you're amazing Not in
yourself.
You know, god does that in usand, of course, he's in the
business of redeeming and he'sin the business of making things
(29:24):
new.
So, anyway, if somebody outthere is feeling like, oh my
gosh, that's me, and they'vebeen heaping basically
condemnation and awful thoughtson top of themselves, just to
say give yourself a break, havecompassion towards yourself and
grace, because that's how Godgreets us.
(29:46):
He greets us with compassion,patience, grace, love,
excitement, like I think aboutwhen we turn to him, and he's
excited to see us because heloves us so much.
Anyway, I just love that youshared that, joy Lynn, and how
God is meeting you in all ofthose lives.
(30:07):
It's so important and it'ssomething that I think we've all
dealt with in some way, so Ijust appreciate that so much.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Before we go on, can I follow up on something?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
of course.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
You know, to see how God has impacted you.
Relative lies that you'vebelieved is really helpful to so
many you.
Relative lies that you'vebelieved is really helpful to so
many you.
Earlier on in our interviewtogether just now, you mentioned
body dysmorphia, which is kindof at its heart.
It's a boatload of lies, ohyeah, yeah.
And so I thought maybe theremight be somebody who doesn't
(30:42):
really understand what bodydysmorphia is and I know it's
been a part of your story andmaybe sometimes it still is.
I don't know, but could youkind of follow up with that and
and maybe relate it to what Godhas been teaching you about
freedom from shame and fear andself-reliance?
Speaker 3 (31:02):
Sure, I can try.
Yeah, I can try to answer that.
So my understanding of bodydysmorphia is where, you see,
you perceive yourself ascompletely different than you
actually are.
In the way it works with me and, yeah, it still does affect me.
It still does.
It's almost like what I see inthe mirror is so distorted and
(31:26):
it's obviously.
It's a spiritual thing andhonestly, I think that it's so
prevalent right now, even in ourworld.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
And I'm not going to get into some of the details
where I think that it'saffecting people.
I think we as believers kind ofknow how it's affecting, how
the enemy is just really wantingto use that tool a lot and it
has to do with identity andlordship.
It has to do with who we are inChrist and who we understand
(31:56):
that we are in Christ.
I guess, at the core it's thephysical appearance versus the
reality, right, and that's notin any circumstance, that's,
that's not never where we shouldbe getting our identity from,
or sense of value and worth.
Exactly, exactly.
And there are so many peoplethat I see around me who
(32:22):
struggle with that so much thatthey don't see themselves how
they actually are.
So one of the issues with bodydysmorphia is that yeah it does
alter reality of what you'reactually looking at and, as I
had said earlier that when I waslooking in the mirror and I saw
bones jutting out, obviouslythere was no fat on them and
(32:47):
feeling the need to scrape themit is.
It is such a lie from the enemythat that's even a that's
reality at all.
I mean it's.
It's literally.
You're seeing something sojaded it's like you're looking
at a fun house mirror almostRight, and even my weight right
(33:07):
now, which we don't need to talkabout, but there's still.
It's what you see versus what'sreal.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
And you know, obviously at Revelation Within,
we talk about mind renewal allthe time.
It's one of our favorite thingsto talk about, yes, and we love
talking about it, because it isthe way that God has really
designed for us to break free ofso many of the old patterns and
(33:37):
cycles and the shame and guilt,and, oh, my goodness, you know.
And so I wanted to ask youabout mind renewal.
What does it look like to you?
Like, let's say, someone isjumping into this podcast for
the first time and it's likewell, what is that?
What does it look like to you?
And then, how do you kind ofweave it into your life?
(33:58):
What does it look like for you?
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Okay, mind renewal has been a journey for me.
Yeah, at first I think Ithought of it kind of like a
mental game that I would playwith myself.
I'm like, okay, we'll do this,we'll play this game.
I don't know how much stock Iput in it.
When we first started doingthis, to be quite honest, I was
like, all right, I know thescriptures, I know what I'm
(34:23):
supposed to do.
That's self-reliance again.
Right, exactly.
But you know what's me sayingthese scriptures, what's me
ruminating on these?
What is it even going to do?
I wasn't aware of the spiritualproduct that comes from
obedience in the word, aslisteners hear all the time.
(34:43):
Romans 2, 2, do not conform tothe pattern of this world, but
be transformed by the renewingof your mind.
Then you will be able to testand approve what God's will is,
his good, pleasing and perfectwill.
It's first you do, and thenthis is the result, and I think
the obedience is what made thedifference.
And just saying, okay, I'mgoing to trust Again, it's a
trusting God made the differenceand just saying, okay, I'm
(35:05):
going to trust Again, it's atrusting God, I'm going to do
these things.
And there has been a result,whether I expected it or not,
and at this point, I have alarmsset a couple of times a day to
renew my mind Awesome, yeah.
So that's one way that I doit's daily, and my favorite tool
(35:27):
is the breath prayers.
Right now, I also have gates setup.
So what I mean by that is ifI'm really tired and achy which
what happens with my stupidautoimmune thing and I just want
to lay on my phone and I justwant to scroll.
There's nothing innately badwith that, but what I feel like
(35:49):
God has called me to do in orderto protect my spirit and to
make sure that I'm listening towhat he says instead of what
Instagram says I have to he'sfeeding you the Instagram feed,
or not?
Exactly Right, I need to spendtime in his word and I need to
(36:10):
spend time in mind renewal.
Before I let myself do that, doI always do it?
No, sometimes my flesh gets inthe way, but that's one example.
I have other gates too.
When I get up in the morning,even before I take my medication
, I felt like God said this along time ago to me that, yes,
there is physical healing thatneeds to happen, but the
(36:31):
spiritual healing has to takeplace first, and so even before
I take my meds in the morning, Ineed to read his word.
It's almost like a differentkind of medicine, and so there
are specific times, but mostlyjust all day long.
I'm like, okay, it's time torenew again, it's time to renew
(36:51):
my mind, it's time to renew mymind.
And so it is made such a bigdifference and my you know, my
cynicism is gone.
I don't know if anyone elsedoes that.
It's like, okay, yeah, sure.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, what is a breath prayer?
Just real quick, what is that?
How do you do that?
So I know, I love the book.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
It's funny.
Heidi bought it for me and Igave one copy to one person and
I gave another copy to anotherand anyway I have it's my third
copy now, and I gave anothercopy to another and anyway I
have it's my third copy now.
A breath prayer is basicallyit's a really wonderful for
relaxation and for stress Well,for anything really.
But you take a scripture andit's basically you're breathing
it in and breathing it out.
(37:39):
You're taking God's truth andbreathing it in and breathing it
out.
So one example of a breathprayer would be the scripture be
still and know that I am God.
So you would breathe in, bestill, and you just kind of
breathe it in and you hold thereand then you exhale and know
(37:59):
that I am God and you do thatseveral times and in that moment
that scripture is just gettingin and out.
This just reminded me ofsomething.
There is an amazing truth thatthe word Yahweh, which is that's
(38:20):
the name of God, when you readit in Hebrew it's actually looks
like it's actually breathing inand breathing out.
So his name is breathing in andbreathing out.
So his name is breathing in andbreathing out and so everybody,
whether you're a believer or not, is in the breath that God is
in.
He created us, he gave us life,he gave us breath.
We are declaring his name everybreath we take, but to put the
(38:45):
scripture in with that is soincredibly effective.
So, that's one of my favorites,Of course, like I had mentioned
earlier, with lyrics in my headall the time, I'm always going
back to worship songs as anothermind renewal.
Truth cards super important.
Speaking truth and truthlesssuper, super important.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
What is a truth card?
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Oh, okay, well, as I'm going through and combating
lies like the ones we spokeabout earlier, that I hear the
enemy saying I combat that withthe truth in God's word, and
then I write them down on notecards and I have them taped up
around my house, like even at mycomputer right here I have one
(39:34):
that says it isn't about theweight, it's about your worth.
Perfect, right there.
I don't know.
Sometimes when I'm editing thepodcast, you know there are some
gems that I write down.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Awesome, joy Lynn.
Thank you.
That's so fun.
And you know what, when youwere talking about that, you
just really lit up.
So I know that you know thelisteners can't see, but you lit
up when you talked about thatand I think that's really
telling of how God is meetingyou in his truth and how his
(40:11):
truth is changing yourexperience, your life, your day
to day.
Yeah, so I love that and I loveimagining you having song
lyrics in your head all day long.
That's one of my favorite waysto renew my mind.
But I'm not, you know,listening as much and doing as
much as you are with music.
So I I just love that as well.
(40:32):
Thanks, joy Lynn.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Yeah, Well, as we kind of wrap up, how do you feel
like your view of yourself,your worth and how you think God
sees you?
How has that all shifted?
I mean, I assume it has it has.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
It has, but this is what I still struggle with and
Heidi you can attest to that shelistens to me a lot and hears
my struggles.
I think the biggest thing isthat I don't see God as someone
who I have to perform for.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Yay, yes, yeah, that's humongous.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
It is really big.
I'm his masterpiece, which I oh, that's one of my favorite
truths and it's not because ofmy own talent, it's not because
of how I look, it's not becauseof what I do, but it's because
of him.
Yes, I'm perfectly andwonderfully made.
Psalm 139, 14.
(41:35):
I have to tell you guys, at theheight of my eating disorder
and my depression and I'vealways been committed to the
Lord, I mean, obviously there'sI grew up in that Christian home
as we talked about, and youknow there were bumps on my
journey where I tried to exploresome other things, but I've
always known that I was createdby the King of the universe.
(41:58):
But that scripture, psalm 139,14, and I might get a little
emotional here but thatscripture, psalm 139, 14, and I
might get a little emotionalhere.
There was a time where Iliterally physically could not
say those words.
I couldn't.
There was some spiritualoppression happening and I don't
know how some people feel aboutthat.
It doesn't matter.
(42:18):
There's a truth and there's areality that our battle isn't
against flesh and blood.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Right.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
There is a supernatural and the enemy did
not want me to be able to saythose things and I couldn't.
And now I can, yes, I can, yes.
Do I always feel it?
No, one of the things that Ifeel like, because there's been
so many lies I feel through mylife that I've heard and
(42:45):
believed.
As a worship minister, one ofthe biggest things I've been
called to do is to be a heraldand proclaim the truth of God,
and every single song I sing,every single word that I have
the congregation sing, it has tobe truth, the congregation sing
, it has to be truth.
And I think that making thosethings so much louder than the
(43:09):
enemy is very significant, and Ithink that that is the biggest
way things have shifted in mylife is that there's nothing
that I don't want to be insecret.
I don't want to have my secretsins, I don't want to be
believing these lies and beingin my own little world with my
reality that I control, which isnot real, but to be able to
(43:33):
recognize that God is the onewho is in control.
He is the one who is paramount.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
So for the people who are listening and for us too,
of course.
Someone is thinking you knowwhat I am such a mess I am so
far from quote unquote, arriving.
I just I hear so many peoplestruggle and I struggled with
this for many years about beingin process, being on the journey
(44:01):
, just wanting to skip thejourney and just get to that
place of being healed and freeand all those things.
What would you say to somebodyout there who might be thinking
that, someone who might bethinking is the process valuable
?
Like, is it okay to be?
Speaker 3 (44:20):
a mess.
Yes, oh, I hope so.
Oh, I hope it's okay.
I, oh, my goodness.
Yes, yes, it's okay.
It is okay to be in processYou're supposed to be.
This is a journey.
Life isn't a.
This is not the ending.
The ending is when we get to bein paradise with Jesus forever.
Yes, yes, there's so much gracein walking in him.
(44:44):
We don't have to be have it alltogether.
About a year ago, heidi invitedme to do this interview and I
have felt like, oh, I'm notready, I'm not ready, I'm not
ready.
No, we're never ready.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
That's the thing we're never ready Right.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
The process is so important the walking through
the day to day, the walking withJesus hand in hand, daily,
moment by moment, being in thatdesperate place saying no, I
can't do that, I can't do that,but you can.
It's just so important toactually just take that time and
(45:22):
recognize that it's all aprocess and that's where we're
learning.
That's where we're learning,that's where we're growing.
If we weren't, if we weren'tgoing forward, we'd be stagnant.
There's death in that.
We want life.
We want life is moving.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Life is moving.
I love that, I love that, Ilove that.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Chock full of so much wisdom and I knew a year ago it
would be.
Yes, I'm so glad that you hadthe courage to do this with us.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Finally, I mean we're so glad, we're so grateful.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
Thank you so much for joining us today.
Thank you, Joy Lynn.
I trust that you listener havebeen blessed by Joy Lynn and her
wisdom and the lessons God hasbeen teaching her, and you'll
come back and join us again.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Yes, Come back and join us again on our next
podcast of Revelation Within Onthe go.
Podcast of Revelation Within onthe go.
See you next time.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
Bye, for now Bye.
Hi and welcome to Revelation Within On the Go.
I'm Heidi Biles-Mapperson, oneof your hosts and the owner and
lead coach of the RevelationWithin Ministry.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within.
We are so excited to invite youto this very special episode of
Revelation Within on the Go.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Well, that was fun.
There were three of us who weregreeting you.
Today we have a very special,special episode for you.
We're excited that Joy LynnSyme, who is a very important
part of our ministry here atRevelation Within, is joining us
today to be interviewed.
We think her life and herwealth of knowledge and wisdom
(00:58):
has a lot to offer any of ourlisteners.
So welcome, joy Lynn.
Yay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We're so glad you're you.
We're so glad you're here.
We're so glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yes, and we just have to share with the listeners
that the person who does themagic of all of our podcasts is
Joy Lynn.
She does all the editing and,believe you me, we give her a
lot to edit.
So, if you are missing allthose awkward pauses and trips
over our tongues and whatnot,it's because Joylyn has expertly
(01:31):
removed them and she does allkinds of other stuff for our
ministry as well.
I just want you to know, infront of God and everybody, that
I appreciate you so much, somuch.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Oh, I am.
I am so grateful for the pairof you so much.
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yay.
Well, let's dive right on in.
Tell us about you, your seasonof life, what you do, your
family, your schooling I knowyou've got some fun things going
on right now what you enjoy,what fills your heart.
Who is Joy Lynn Syme?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Okay, well, it's funny.
When you were asking about theseason in life, the first thing
that comes to my head I guess Ineed to preface everything my
brain is almost entirely lyricsof songs.
So when we're asking about theseason, I hear old Stevie Nicks
song landslide.
That's kind of where I'm atright now, if you know.
(02:26):
You know, I'm currently aworship pastor at my church.
I've been doing that for aboutalmost 11 years now.
I've been married to my highschool best friend for almost 30
years.
It's going to be 30 years in2025.
We have four kids, four adultchildren and a son-in-law, or
(02:47):
son-in-love I like to call himand then an extremely theatrical
, precocious three-year-oldgranddaughter who just makes me
smile all the time.
She's just amazing.
They all live fairly close.
So I got to spend Christmaswith them and it was good.
Yeah, it's a lot.
(03:07):
There's a lot of them and a lotof opinions, but it's a
wonderful time to see howthey're all growing up.
I homeschooled them when theywere all younger, so currently
I'm actually studying to becomea clinical herbalist, a
Christian herbalist.
I'm going in that direction.
(03:28):
I have a very big desire tohave people be completely whole,
physically, spiritually, andcompletely free from counterfeit
comforts.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Amen so.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
I feel like you know, the herbalism is kind of part
of that Trauma informed,understanding how our body works
, understanding the aspects thatwe do in Revelation.
Within all of that, you know,actually getting healed from the
inside out is super important.
I struggle with an autoimmunecondition and so this is kind of
out of desperation.
I started doing all this formyself and I'm, like you know,
(04:03):
god's calling me to something alittle higher here, so that's my
hope, I guess.
My hobbies I have vintagehobbies.
I love fiber arts.
I love spinning wool andprocessing and doing all the
knitting.
I have these grandma arts, Idon't know.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I love vintage Thank you, joy Lynn, yay, and you're a
lot of fun too, by the way.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah, definitely, definitely.
So we would love to hear aboutyour relationship with Jesus and
how it is growing.
Where are the two of you at?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Yeah, so my relationship with God is based
almost entirely on desperation.
I, jolynn Syme, desperatelyneed the love, the truth and the
help of Abba pretty much to doanything.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
I can relate to that.
Heidi and I and probably a lotof people listening yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I've spent a lot of my life trying to do things for
him in his name and in my ownstrength.
So at this point in my life I'mlike I've realized, just
through everything I mean Iguess you know just life, I
don't have that ability.
I can't do that without him.
I can't, I can't be without God, you know, and I'm learning so
(05:29):
much about his goodness and hisfaithfulness and that he's
trustworthy.
This has been something I'vehad to work through, because
control you guys will hear aboutthat a little bit has been an
issue with me and I think someof the, even the physical stuff
I've dealt with, has justbrought me to a place of
desperation.
And so, yeah, I think thatthat's that's really where I'm
(05:51):
at with God.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
It's just yeah, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Joy Lynn.
God has blessed me with havinga privilege of a pretty close
friendship with you, joy Lynn,and as such, I mean I've had a
chance to get to know some ofwhat makes you tick a little bit
.
I think your upbringing wasextremely unique oh boy was it
(06:16):
and it's contributed to a lot ofthings that you like beliefs,
especially that you hold aboutfood, about eating, about body
image.
Would you mind terriblydescribing some of that for our
listeners?
I bet you there's a bazillionpeople that can relate to what
you share?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yeah, so I think about this and I think about my
story.
My dad was my mom's drug dealerto begin with, so that's a big
deal when we start with thatkind of idea.
They were first generationChristians.
They were radically saved drugaddicts and there's no doubt in
my mind that God absolutely dida miracle in their lives.
(06:56):
The problem, as I can kind ofsee it now as an adult and
looking back on this, is thatthey never experienced healthy
discipleship and they never knewhow to renew their minds.
So this led them to constantlyseeking counterfeit comforts and
(07:18):
they saw, you know, things thatthey saw as safe and not sinful
necessarily.
So in this case, a lot of itwas food related.
My dad was morbidly obese andwas addicted to food and
cigarettes and diets.
I mean that was because he wasalways trying and my mom was
(07:41):
severely anorexic and she camefrom an abusive home, so there
was a lot that she never quitedealt with.
So I can see these things now.
But the result of that growingup was that there was so much
shame, there was so much food.
(08:01):
My mom would talk about howmuch she hated food and my dad
didn't like himself and therewas a lot of bad things that
happened.
Someone was always on a dietMom hid the idea of it was
healthy food, you know but therewas very little of it that she
would eat and very little littleof it that she would allow us
(08:23):
to eat.
But my dad would just eat andeat and eat.
So it was hard.
He also was a elder at thechurch and a chaplain in prison
ministries and he was able towork with very hard people and
bring them to the Lord hardpeople and bring them to the
(08:50):
Lord.
However, he had a very violenttemper with us and it was
complicated because I know mydad loved the Lord, I know my
mom loved the Lord and I knowthere were plenty of people who
were affected by their testimony.
But at home that is not what weexperienced.
We experienced physical abusethat was under the guise of
(09:11):
being disciplined and yeah, soit was.
It was difficult.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I'm so sorry, thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
It's interesting because, as I've been working
with Heidi, thank you.
It's interesting because asI've been working with Heidi,
I've been able to realize thismore and more.
You know that there actuallywas the word trauma and that has
been very hard for me to wrapmy head around.
I have been able to go furtherin my healing since I've been
(09:42):
able to recognize andacknowledge that I went through
trauma.
I think that's really importantfor anyone out there listening
that I'm not blaming all of myissues on it, but this is
something that absolutelyaffects the rest of my life, the
(10:03):
rest of my story and even mychildren's story.
So as a result of my upbringing, when I was about 11 years old,
I remember the time very, verywell.
Kind of south of ColoradoSprings, where I live, is a
place called Pueblo and there'sa big reservoir down there and
(10:25):
we don't have a whole lot ofwater around Colorado.
So Pueblo Reservoir is kind ofthe big body of water and we
would go down there camping andI was in my swimming suit.
I remember 11 years old in myswimming suit and I was just
kind of getting out of the shadeand my dad was sitting down
(10:45):
next to me and he tapped mytummy and made a comment about
how I was looking a littlethicker.
And I remember that moment andI remember the decision that I
made.
I remember the oath that I madeat that moment.
(11:07):
It was a vow which has sinceI've broken it, but I said I
will never be like you, dad.
And so at you know, 11 yearsold, I made that decision.
I started with deciding that Iwas going to become a vegetarian
.
You know, because there was alot of meat in our house and I
(11:29):
embraced at that moment aneating disorder and it was
probably brewing.
Before that, because of what Ihad seen, my parents both had
eating disorders.
I mean the morbidly obese, theanorexic, the bulimic they're
all the same stronghold.
Just if anyone's curious, it'sall the same.
(11:50):
And I think in some ways I alsoused that disorder as a
protective mechanism.
It became a companion, for lackof a better term.
So that's kind of where thatcame from.
Did you struggle with anorexia?
(12:11):
Very much, okay, very much.
When I got married at 19, I wasvery, very, very unhealthy,
very, very, very unhealthy.
I look at my wedding picturesand it's hard because I have
struggled with body dysmorphia,that even at even at my
(12:32):
skinniest.
I remember thinking thesethoughts like seeing my hips and
seeing my shoulders blades andthinking if I could just scrape
those down then maybe I would bea better size.
And it's interesting because Iremember at one point in my
teens my mom confronted me onanorexia and I was like whoa,
(12:57):
because she was a raginganorexic.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
And I'm like she confronted you about being too
anorexic or something.
Yes, oh my gosh, I didn't knowthat.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Yeah, and you know the word hypocrite was very big
in my brain most of the timewhen I was a teenager.
Yeah, I was extremelyunderweight and you know I used
to be in marching band andeverything and I remember I
would pass out often because Ijust wouldn't eat for days, and
(13:27):
when I did eat I would sneakfood and that's been something
I've struggled with even totoday.
I know that there's anotherclass coming up which I want to
encourage everyone to come to.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Secret of Eating.
We're calling it Escape fromSecret of Eating.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah, and that has a lot of power and you want to
break that power and so yeah, sothat was that was where it
started.
When I got married, I struggledwith depression a lot as well
I'm severe depression and when Igot married very young, I love
(14:03):
my husband so much.
I think some of the reasonsthat I got married so young
might've not been for the rightreasons.
I was trying to get away fromsome of the abuse, right yeah
and um, so I fell into somedepression and I and actually
started gaining some weight.
Um, when I got pregnant with myfirst child, I discovered
(14:24):
bulimia and that was that was.
It was kind of because of, youknow, morning sickness and
everything, and I realized, wow,this is something.
So that was my biggest, I think, for most of my life.
I think bulimia was the loudestof all three of them.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
So all three being anorexia, overeating and bulimia
.
Correct, yeah, wow.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Thank you for sharing that.
Yeah, thanks, joy Lynn.
I wanted to just go back reallyquick.
When you mentioned beingdesperate for the Lord.
Yeah, being desperate for theLord, you know it's just the
best place to be.
And now, listening to this storyand how you've shared about
this incredibly traumaticupbringing that you had and that
(15:18):
you know you have come out hereI mean, god has brought you
into a place of being such abeautiful, beautiful person and
you have so much to give and somuch to share, and so somehow,
even though it was so painfuland difficult, nothing will be
wasted.
You know, and that's God willuse it and he's using it right
(15:41):
now as you share, which takes somuch courage.
You know you're so brave toshare, and so I love that you
describe your relationship withGod as desperate.
That's the best place to be.
You know, when we are desperatefor him, we are the most open
to what he's calling us to andto his healing and comfort and
(16:04):
all those things that we allneed.
I just wanted to say thank youfor being so brave to share your
story and your desperation forthe Lord.
It's beautiful, even though I'mso, so sorry that that happened
for you, joy Lynn, and for somany people who are listening, I
think you know their storiesmight be similar, yeah, okay.
(16:26):
So moving forward, we'd love tohear when did you kind of
invite God in to your strugglewith food and eating kind of to
the whole story and body image?
Yeah, yeah, and body image andyou know how has God met you in
this incredibly challengingsituation?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Sure, after I had my oldest daughter I knew that I
was.
You know, I wasn't doing somegreat things.
I always knew that, you know,this is not the way to be
healthy.
So very early on I tried toinvite God in as soon as I found
out that was a possibility,because that was never something
(17:11):
I was aware of when I was achild, you know, or even growing
up it was.
You know, these were separatethings.
But I had a friend, a very,very dear friend, who lives in
Oregon, who invited me to go toWeigh Down workshop, and so I
remember having my daughter'sname is Michaela.
Also, I know that Heidi'sdaughter's name, michaela,
(17:32):
spelled different.
I remember having Michaela inthe little carrier and going to
focus on the family and that'swhere they were doing the
classes.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
I would go there every week with my friend, patty
and her mom and I was learningthings, and I was learning about
being mindful and how God was apart of this.
But there was a lot of shamewith that Because the standard
(18:05):
that was presented to me I couldnot live up to and it ended up
complicating things with myrelationship with the Lord
because I couldn't do what Ithought I was supposed to do for
him, thought I was supposed todo for him, and so it actually
(18:27):
ended up triggering the eatingdisorders even more, saying I
didn't.
I didn't have enough selfcontrol to eat the way I was
supposed to.
According to Weigh Down.
According to Weigh Down, yes,according to what I, what I saw
from Weigh Down, there was verylittle grace in it.
It's either you do it or you'renot good enough um is what.
I got, and then I mean I hadfilters obviously, so not very
(18:51):
healthy filters, but that'swhere I got from it, so it
actually almost made it worse.
At that point I knew God wassupposed to be, but I didn't
know my role in his role.
Does that make sense?
Oh yeah, we hear that a lot,yeah, so I continued with that.
I continued to go diet to dietand I kept taking control back
(19:18):
from God that I can take it fromhim, he's in control.
And it's difficult because Iwas always I've always been very
visible and on stage forsomething different thing.
I've led for women'sconferences, I've been singing
and acting in musicals, I'veplayed different instruments on
stage, I've led worship, and soI've been very, very sizes and
(19:42):
and everything like you knowit's gone up and down and up and
down, and so that has been.
You know, the shame was reallybig with that.
You know, being visible onstage and feeling shame, and I
always felt like I had to hidemy dirty little secret.
There was a women's retreat forthe church I grew up in and I
(20:03):
was helping to lead worship andI remember there was a room that
they had off to the side thathad a cross in it and you're
supposed to be writing things ona rock and putting it at the
foot of the cross throughout theweekend.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
I avoided going in there, but there was something
gnawing on me so hard, and thisis actually.
I had just lost a great deal ofweight using Weight Watchers.
At that point, um, it wasweight watchers and bulimia is
what was happening.
So, I'm not gonna.
I'm not gonna pretend like thatwas okay.
I knew that it was an issue andwhen I finally decided to go
(20:39):
into the room, I was overwhelmedwith emotion and God made it
very clear to me that I'm nottrusting him, that I did not
trust God at that moment andthat the majority of everything
I was dealing with was becauseof that and nobody else knew.
I never said anything to anyoneabout the eating disorders.
(21:01):
Yeah, and you know, you getcompliments and oh, look, how
thin you look and everythinglike that.
And because you're on stage andyou know lots of people
throughout my life, a lot ofpeople give their opinions about
what I look like.
So I think at that moment, whenGod revealed to me you know you
(21:25):
don't trust me, I think Istarted to realize that
desperation.
It's like, okay, I need tofigure something else out.
So I did end up revealing tosomebody that that's what I was
dealing with and they actuallystarted going into some
counseling, some Christiancounseling for the eating
disorder at that point Awesome.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Yeah, good.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
In that process, I was praying to God to show me
something.
I'm like, okay, you know, thisis an issue, so I need help.
So I started looking forsomething that was like Weigh
Down but not Weigh Down.
So I started doing someresearch and I also saw the
leader of Weigh Down on a talkshow and I'm like, okay, god,
(22:10):
she's not quite right in thehead, but I know what she's
saying is right.
So what's the answer?
And so I started researchingand I found Thin Within.
And that's when I connectedwith Heidi.
How many years ago was that?
So I found it in 2012, but Istarted coaching with you in
(22:31):
2014.
Okay, so it was about the sametime Christina did.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Yeah, we started coaching in 2014.
My Colorado girls.
Yeah, I had been doing thinwithin for quite a while on my
own and in groups and notgetting anywhere at all yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Our coaching began in 2014 and about the same time I
was coaching with anotherColorado girl and so when.
I came to Colorado, I got tomeet up with y'all and it was so
much fun.
But anyway, so back to yourstory.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Yeah.
So I guess one of the thingsyou'd asked was um, how has God
been meeting me in the falsebeliefs that were established?
And I'm a slow learner.
It taken me a lot of years toallow God to actually begin
tearing down the lies that I hadlearned from childhood, I bet.
But one of the things I lovethere was a book called hunger
(23:26):
within.
I actually got out the book Ithink it was last night.
Heidi and I started looking atit again and all the notes we
had taken together.
But in the first chapter ittalks about grave clothes being
removed and the different layers, and I think that that's
something that I've had torealize.
Sometimes it's a slow process,sometimes there are things you
(23:49):
have to go through and thedifferent layers, and so I think
that's where I'm at right now.
God started tearing down thoselies and replacing them with the
truths, and it's stillsomething, obviously daily.
I need to just silence theenemy and listen to what he's
saying, to just you know,silence the enemy and listen to
(24:09):
what he's saying Good stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
So for those who are listening when you talk about
lies, I mean some people I knoware might be like what is she
talking about lies?
What are the lies about you?
Are the lies about God or thelies about what?
Speaker 1 (24:22):
are they about?
Yeah, give us some examples.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Some of the lies are that I'm not good enough, that I
haven't done enough, that heisn't good or that he is like my
earthly father Right, those aresome big ones that he isn't
(24:45):
trustworthy.
I mean, you know that if I hadenough self-discipline, I would
look a certain way right now.
My health would be good enoughif I had enough self-discipline.
Those are some of the lies thatI have to combat.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
What about worthy of love?
Were there any lies that cameout of your childhood, maybe,
that you struggled with, or evenstill struggle with
occasionally, about what ittakes to be worthy of love,
either from God or from others,or for yourself?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Oh, absolutely.
I think the worthiness ingeneral, worthy to eat, that is.
That is something even I'll becompletely honest listener Even
today did I earn the right toeat, Did I earn the love that I
need?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Did I do?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
enough to be loved?
Did I do enough to be accepted?
And obviously, even as I'msaying this, it sounds
ridiculous.
No, no, it doesn't these arethe realities of what the enemy
tries to throw at.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Yes, I think there's more people who can identify
with that than we could everimagine.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Both Heidi and I have heard those same lies shared so
many times, and we've sharedthem ourselves as well.
So, I appreciate those examplesfor sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
What has God been teaching you about breaking free
from the impact of believingthose lies?
You know that shame and fearand self reliance, and I'll do
it my way or whatever.
How has he been teaching youabout that stuff?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Well.
So the biggest thing is I knowshame is not from God, it's from
the enemy Fear is a liar, yes,and like I said earlier, I can
do all things only in hisstrength.
I mean like there's nothingelse.
I cannot conjure or create areality where I'm enough without
him.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Right.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Yeah, so I think that that's a big thing.
Also, an interesting thing iswhen I think about trying to be
good enough.
The reality is there willalways be someone who is better
than me.
Someone's going to be a bettersinger, someone's going to be a
better mother.
Say, oh, this is a standard andthere's a really wonderful
(27:10):
colloquialism, it's true iscomparison is the thief of joy?
Yes, and even against myself,that's not what I should be
trying to do.
It's I need to be understandingwho I am in God, my identity in
Christ, and so I think thatthat's what he's been teaching
(27:31):
me.
You know that it's not aboutanyone else not even about me.
It's about him.
I've just spent so much of mylife trying to control
everything, yeah.
So I think those are the bigthings he's been teaching me
about that, and how much freedomthere is when I'm not going to
say let go and let God, becauseI think theologically there
(27:52):
might be some issues with that.
But there is something.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I think that so many people come to us with so much
shame and feeling so unworthyand feeling like I'm not enough,
I've never been enough, I willnever be enough, which is true,
as you said, god is enough in us.
But I think it's so importantthat you know we have compassion
(28:18):
towards ourselves and gracetowards ourselves for all that
we've been through.
You know, everybody has a story.
We wouldn't be here at thispodcast unless we had a story
many and most of us about food,eating, body image, many, many
about abuse.
So I just think it's soimportant.
(28:39):
I feel like we have been andI'm speaking about myself too
mean, basically mean toourselves for so many years.
You know, and it's like, wait aminute, look at all I've been
through, look at all you've beenthrough, look at all Heidi's
been through and what God hasdone.
I think for so many of us, it'sso hard to be compassionate
(29:02):
toward ourselves and to giveourselves grace and say, wow,
look what you've been through,oh my gosh.
And you know, look who you are.
You're God's girl, you'rebeautiful, you're amazing Not in
yourself.
You know, god does that in usand, of course, he's in the
business of redeeming and he'sin the business of making things
(29:24):
new.
So, anyway, if somebody outthere is feeling like, oh my
gosh, that's me, and they'vebeen heaping basically
condemnation and awful thoughtson top of themselves, just to
say give yourself a break, havecompassion towards yourself and
grace, because that's how Godgreets us.
(29:46):
He greets us with compassion,patience, grace, love,
excitement, like I think aboutwhen we turn to him, and he's
excited to see us because heloves us so much.
Anyway, I just love that youshared that, joy Lynn, and how
God is meeting you in all ofthose lives.
(30:07):
It's so important and it'ssomething that I think we've all
dealt with in some way, so Ijust appreciate that so much.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Before we go on, can I follow up on something?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
of course.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
You know, to see how God has impacted you.
Relative lies that you'vebelieved is really helpful to so
many you.
Relative lies that you'vebelieved is really helpful to so
many you.
Earlier on in our interviewtogether just now, you mentioned
body dysmorphia, which is kindof at its heart.
It's a boatload of lies, ohyeah, yeah.
And so I thought maybe theremight be somebody who doesn't
(30:42):
really understand what bodydysmorphia is and I know it's
been a part of your story andmaybe sometimes it still is.
I don't know, but could youkind of follow up with that and
and maybe relate it to what Godhas been teaching you about
freedom from shame and fear andself-reliance?
Speaker 3 (31:02):
Sure, I can try.
Yeah, I can try to answer that.
So my understanding of bodydysmorphia is where, you see,
you perceive yourself ascompletely different than you
actually are.
In the way it works with me and, yeah, it still does affect me.
It still does.
It's almost like what I see inthe mirror is so distorted and
(31:26):
it's obviously.
It's a spiritual thing andhonestly, I think that it's so
prevalent right now, even in ourworld.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
And I'm not going to get into some of the details
where I think that it'saffecting people.
I think we as believers kind ofknow how it's affecting, how
the enemy is just really wantingto use that tool a lot and it
has to do with identity andlordship.
It has to do with who we are inChrist and who we understand
(31:56):
that we are in Christ.
I guess, at the core it's thephysical appearance versus the
reality, right, and that's notin any circumstance, that's,
that's not never where we shouldbe getting our identity from,
or sense of value and worth.
Exactly, exactly.
And there are so many peoplethat I see around me who
(32:22):
struggle with that so much thatthey don't see themselves how
they actually are.
So one of the issues with bodydysmorphia is that yeah it does
alter reality of what you'reactually looking at and, as I
had said earlier that when I waslooking in the mirror and I saw
bones jutting out, obviouslythere was no fat on them and
(32:47):
feeling the need to scrape themit is.
It is such a lie from the enemythat that's even a that's
reality at all.
I mean it's.
It's literally.
You're seeing something sojaded it's like you're looking
at a fun house mirror almostRight, and even my weight right
(33:07):
now, which we don't need to talkabout, but there's still.
It's what you see versus what'sreal.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
And you know, obviously at Revelation Within,
we talk about mind renewal allthe time.
It's one of our favorite thingsto talk about, yes, and we love
talking about it, because it isthe way that God has really
designed for us to break free ofso many of the old patterns and
(33:37):
cycles and the shame and guilt,and, oh, my goodness, you know.
And so I wanted to ask youabout mind renewal.
What does it look like to you?
Like, let's say, someone isjumping into this podcast for
the first time and it's likewell, what is that?
What does it look like to you?
And then, how do you kind ofweave it into your life?
(33:58):
What does it look like for you?
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Okay, mind renewal has been a journey for me.
Yeah, at first I think Ithought of it kind of like a
mental game that I would playwith myself.
I'm like, okay, we'll do this,we'll play this game.
I don't know how much stock Iput in it.
When we first started doingthis, to be quite honest, I was
like, all right, I know thescriptures, I know what I'm
(34:23):
supposed to do.
That's self-reliance again.
Right, exactly.
But you know what's me sayingthese scriptures, what's me
ruminating on these?
What is it even going to do?
I wasn't aware of the spiritualproduct that comes from
obedience in the word, aslisteners hear all the time.
(34:43):
Romans 2, 2, do not conform tothe pattern of this world, but
be transformed by the renewingof your mind.
Then you will be able to testand approve what God's will is,
his good, pleasing and perfectwill.
It's first you do, and thenthis is the result, and I think
the obedience is what made thedifference.
And just saying, okay, I'mgoing to trust Again, it's a
trusting God made the differenceand just saying, okay, I'm
(35:05):
going to trust Again, it's atrusting God, I'm going to do
these things.
And there has been a result,whether I expected it or not,
and at this point, I have alarmsset a couple of times a day to
renew my mind Awesome, yeah.
So that's one way that I doit's daily, and my favorite tool
(35:27):
is the breath prayers.
Right now, I also have gates setup.
So what I mean by that is ifI'm really tired and achy which
what happens with my stupidautoimmune thing and I just want
to lay on my phone and I justwant to scroll.
There's nothing innately badwith that, but what I feel like
(35:49):
God has called me to do in orderto protect my spirit and to
make sure that I'm listening towhat he says instead of what
Instagram says I have to he'sfeeding you the Instagram feed,
or not?
Exactly Right, I need to spendtime in his word and I need to
(36:10):
spend time in mind renewal.
Before I let myself do that, doI always do it?
No, sometimes my flesh gets inthe way, but that's one example.
I have other gates too.
When I get up in the morning,even before I take my medication
, I felt like God said this along time ago to me that, yes,
there is physical healing thatneeds to happen, but the
(36:31):
spiritual healing has to takeplace first, and so even before
I take my meds in the morning, Ineed to read his word.
It's almost like a differentkind of medicine, and so there
are specific times, but mostlyjust all day long.
I'm like, okay, it's time torenew again, it's time to renew
(36:51):
my mind, it's time to renew mymind.
And so it is made such a bigdifference and my you know, my
cynicism is gone.
I don't know if anyone elsedoes that.
It's like, okay, yeah, sure.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, what is a breath prayer?
Just real quick, what is that?
How do you do that?
So I know, I love the book.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
It's funny.
Heidi bought it for me and Igave one copy to one person and
I gave another copy to anotherand anyway I have it's my third
copy now, and I gave anothercopy to another and anyway I
have it's my third copy now.
A breath prayer is basicallyit's a really wonderful for
relaxation and for stress Well,for anything really.
But you take a scripture andit's basically you're breathing
it in and breathing it out.
(37:39):
You're taking God's truth andbreathing it in and breathing it
out.
So one example of a breathprayer would be the scripture be
still and know that I am God.
So you would breathe in, bestill, and you just kind of
breathe it in and you hold thereand then you exhale and know
(37:59):
that I am God and you do thatseveral times and in that moment
that scripture is just gettingin and out.
This just reminded me ofsomething.
There is an amazing truth thatthe word Yahweh, which is that's
(38:20):
the name of God, when you readit in Hebrew it's actually looks
like it's actually breathing inand breathing out.
So his name is breathing in andbreathing out.
So his name is breathing in andbreathing out and so everybody,
whether you're a believer or not, is in the breath that God is
in.
He created us, he gave us life,he gave us breath.
We are declaring his name everybreath we take, but to put the
(38:45):
scripture in with that is soincredibly effective.
So, that's one of my favorites,Of course, like I had mentioned
earlier, with lyrics in my headall the time, I'm always going
back to worship songs as anothermind renewal.
Truth cards super important.
Speaking truth and truthlesssuper, super important.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
What is a truth card?
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Oh, okay, well, as I'm going through and combating
lies like the ones we spokeabout earlier, that I hear the
enemy saying I combat that withthe truth in God's word, and
then I write them down on notecards and I have them taped up
around my house, like even at mycomputer right here I have one
(39:34):
that says it isn't about theweight, it's about your worth.
Perfect, right there.
I don't know.
Sometimes when I'm editing thepodcast, you know there are some
gems that I write down.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Awesome, joy Lynn.
Thank you.
That's so fun.
And you know what, when youwere talking about that, you
just really lit up.
So I know that you know thelisteners can't see, but you lit
up when you talked about thatand I think that's really
telling of how God is meetingyou in his truth and how his
(40:11):
truth is changing yourexperience, your life, your day
to day.
Yeah, so I love that and I loveimagining you having song
lyrics in your head all day long.
That's one of my favorite waysto renew my mind.
But I'm not, you know,listening as much and doing as
much as you are with music.
So I I just love that as well.
(40:32):
Thanks, joy Lynn.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Yeah, Well, as we kind of wrap up, how do you feel
like your view of yourself,your worth and how you think God
sees you?
How has that all shifted?
I mean, I assume it has it has.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
It has, but this is what I still struggle with and
Heidi you can attest to that shelistens to me a lot and hears
my struggles.
I think the biggest thing isthat I don't see God as someone
who I have to perform for.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Yay, yes, yeah, that's humongous.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
It is really big.
I'm his masterpiece, which I oh, that's one of my favorite
truths and it's not because ofmy own talent, it's not because
of how I look, it's not becauseof what I do, but it's because
of him.
Yes, I'm perfectly andwonderfully made.
Psalm 139, 14.
(41:35):
I have to tell you guys, at theheight of my eating disorder
and my depression and I'vealways been committed to the
Lord, I mean, obviously there'sI grew up in that Christian home
as we talked about, and youknow there were bumps on my
journey where I tried to exploresome other things, but I've
always known that I was createdby the King of the universe.
(41:58):
But that scripture, psalm 139,14, and I might get a little
emotional here but thatscripture, psalm 139, 14, and I
might get a little emotionalhere.
There was a time where Iliterally physically could not
say those words.
I couldn't.
There was some spiritualoppression happening and I don't
know how some people feel aboutthat.
It doesn't matter.
(42:18):
There's a truth and there's areality that our battle isn't
against flesh and blood.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Right.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
There is a supernatural and the enemy did
not want me to be able to saythose things and I couldn't.
And now I can, yes, I can, yes.
Do I always feel it?
No, one of the things that Ifeel like, because there's been
so many lies I feel through mylife that I've heard and
(42:45):
believed.
As a worship minister, one ofthe biggest things I've been
called to do is to be a heraldand proclaim the truth of God,
and every single song I sing,every single word that I have
the congregation sing, it has tobe truth, the congregation sing
, it has to be truth.
And I think that making thosethings so much louder than the
(43:09):
enemy is very significant, and Ithink that that is the biggest
way things have shifted in mylife is that there's nothing
that I don't want to be insecret.
I don't want to have my secretsins, I don't want to be
believing these lies and beingin my own little world with my
reality that I control, which isnot real, but to be able to
(43:33):
recognize that God is the onewho is in control.
He is the one who is paramount.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
So for the people who are listening and for us too,
of course.
Someone is thinking you knowwhat I am such a mess I am so
far from quote unquote, arriving.
I just I hear so many peoplestruggle and I struggled with
this for many years about beingin process, being on the journey
(44:01):
, just wanting to skip thejourney and just get to that
place of being healed and freeand all those things.
What would you say to somebodyout there who might be thinking
that, someone who might bethinking is the process valuable
?
Like, is it okay to be?
Speaker 3 (44:20):
a mess.
Yes, oh, I hope so.
Oh, I hope it's okay.
I, oh, my goodness.
Yes, yes, it's okay.
It is okay to be in processYou're supposed to be.
This is a journey.
Life isn't a.
This is not the ending.
The ending is when we get to bein paradise with Jesus forever.
Yes, yes, there's so much gracein walking in him.
(44:44):
We don't have to be have it alltogether.
About a year ago, heidi invitedme to do this interview and I
have felt like, oh, I'm notready, I'm not ready, I'm not
ready.
No, we're never ready.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
That's the thing we're never ready Right.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
The process is so important the walking through
the day to day, the walking withJesus hand in hand, daily,
moment by moment, being in thatdesperate place saying no, I
can't do that, I can't do that,but you can.
It's just so important toactually just take that time and
(45:22):
recognize that it's all aprocess and that's where we're
learning.
That's where we're learning,that's where we're growing.
If we weren't, if we weren'tgoing forward, we'd be stagnant.
There's death in that.
We want life.
We want life is moving.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Life is moving.
I love that, I love that, Ilove that.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Chock full of so much wisdom and I knew a year ago it
would be.
Yes, I'm so glad that you hadthe courage to do this with us.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Finally, I mean we're so glad, we're so grateful.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
Thank you so much for joining us today.
Thank you, Joy Lynn.
I trust that you listener havebeen blessed by Joy Lynn and her
wisdom and the lessons God hasbeen teaching her, and you'll
come back and join us again.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Yes, Come back and join us again on our next
podcast of Revelation Within Onthe go.
Podcast of Revelation Within onthe go.
See you next time.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
Bye, for now Bye.
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