April 2, 2025 • 31 mins
Have you ever beaten yourself up after failing, believing harsh self-criticism would lead to positive change? The "Look and Learn" tool is meant for mind renewal, yet many have turned it into another form of self-punishment. Instead of viewing failure through a lens of shame, Scripture invites us to embrace God's grace. Romans 8:1 reminds us there is no condemnation for those in Christ, and Psalm 103:12 assures us that our transgressions are removed as far as the east is from the west. God isn't standing at a distance in disappointment—He draws near with compassion and restoration.
When practiced as intended, Look and Learn becomes grace in motion, strengthening intimacy with God rather than pushing Him away. It shifts our perspective from self-rejection to redemption, helping us replace lies with life-giving truth. Every failure becomes a seed for growth, ensuring nothing is wasted in God's economy. Instead of running to condemnation, run to grace. Ask what God wants to reveal, and let this powerful tool guide you into freedom, intimacy, and transformation. Ready to change how you handle failure? Listen now and discover the true meaning of Look and Learn.
Learn more about our Revelation Within Community: https://www.revelationwithin.org
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within On
the Go.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I'm Heidi Viles-Mapperson, one of your
hosts and the owner and leadcoach of the RevelationWithinorg
ministry, and I'm ChristinaMotley, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within, and we're sohappy to invite you to join us
today for this episode ofRevelation Within on the go.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Oh, yay.
Well, hey, friends, welcome toanother episode of the
Revelation Within podcast.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Revelation Within Podcast.
Today we are exploringsomething that is really quite
central to how we walk out mindrenewal.
Yes, it's our mind renewal toolcalled Look and Learn, and
here's what we want you to knowright up front, when we slip,
(01:01):
stumble, slide or fall or evenfail.
It's not about beating yourselfup, right?
It's all about, yes, it's allabout letting God speak into
your story, into your narrative,with his amazing grace.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh my gosh, I love that, heidi, I love that it's
about letting God speak intoyour story with grace.
I love that, Heidi.
I love that.
It's about letting God speakinto your story with grace.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
So why don't you give us an example of when you used
to use look and learn, and itwasn't with grace.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Oh, when I used to use well, that really wasn't
look and learn what I used to do.
I mean, for many, many, manyyears.
You know I struggled with allkinds of things, not just food
and eating issues, but we allstruggle with oh, I shouldn't
have said that to my husband, or, you know, I didn't do a good
job here, or this didn't workout because I procrastinated or
(01:59):
whatever it was, and so what Iused to do is exactly what you
just said.
I would beat myself up and Iwould say things, especially in
my mind, where people couldn'thear.
I would say things like I can'tbelieve you did that, or what
is the matter with you,christina, can't you get it
together?
Why can't you be like her?
(02:21):
Or you know, you should haveblah, blah, blah.
You should have blah blah blah.
I mean, I was pretty mean tomyself in my own mind.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
It's like you reamed yourself over the coals.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yes, it is.
I mean, I didn't know and Iknow I've said this so many
times, but I didn't know that mythoughts, what was going on in
my brain, in my mind, was soimportant and that it was
actually deciding for me what Iwas going to do in the next
moment, in the next afternoon,in the next day, the next week.
(02:57):
I did not know that, I did notrealize and I think for a long,
long time I believed that Ineeded to hate myself into
positive change, and it's justnot possible.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I kind of did.
I used the tool that we arecalling look and learn like a
spiritual post-mortem.
I really did.
I'd pick apart what I did wrong, always with the spirit of
self-condemnation.
I would try to vow never to doit again and basically beat
myself up in the process andwalk away discouraged.
(03:31):
And then what did I end up?
Needing Comfort is what I wouldgo back to.
In my case, the biggestcounterfeit comfort that I would
turn to again and again wasovereating, and so I would go
back to food again and again.
That's not what God intended.
To try to beat ourselves up orto look at what happened with
(03:52):
this just condemning lens.
It's not what we teach atRevelation Within either.
Yay.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Oh my gosh.
Well, and the other thing and Iknow I've talked about this too
the other thing I would do is Ifelt like I had to kind of
wallow, I had to kind of sit inthe mud for a while and I would
fill up journals and journalsand I wrote about it enough.
If I let several days past, ifI felt really, really bad enough
(04:31):
, then I would change and I didthat for years.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, I would try to cry enough tears and I just I
could cry a river and itwouldn't work.
Yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, right All right ?
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Well, let's dismantle the lies, because we have all
used this powerful tool thewrong way.
I hate to say wrong, but it isit's wrong.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
It is the wrong way.
It's a way toward more and morefailure, and discouragement is
what it is.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yes, yes, and if you, or somebody you know, or
whatever, grew up with thisstandard of perfectionism,
legalism or like a deeplycritical inner voice and you
know it, if it's you, this isgoing to really speak to that
today.
What look and learn really isabout.
(05:18):
But we're going to start offwith what it's not.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
So the first one, christina, the first one is it's
not self-condemnation, so it'snot rehearsing what you did
wrong to make yourself feel bad.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And it's not dragging your past failure around like a
punishment, it's not that youknow beating myself up with.
Look at what I did.
It was awful, it was stupid, itwas really ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Oh my gosh, and how many of us do that all the time.
And here, our coworkers, ourfamily members, our friends
we're kind of listening to thatall the time, aren't we?
Yeah, it's kind of a common wayto deal with things like that.
Okay, here's another.
It's not.
It's not Look and learn, is notassigning yourself permanent
(06:06):
labels based on temporarymistakes, like I am a no good
for nothing.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Or I'm just a big lazy glutton.
Yeah, no, that's not.
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yes, or I'm not smart enough, I'm not equipped, I
don't know.
I you know, I've heard a lot ofpeople say I just don't get
this.
I must not be smart enough.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Or my body must be broken.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yes, I just had another thought when you
mentioned, heidi, about growingup with perfectionism and
legalism and that deeplycritical inner voice A lot of
people on the very other end ofit grew up with.
Like no boundaries, you know,it was just kind of a free for
all Do whatever you want, raiseyourself, you know, you go
(06:53):
Whatever feels good.
And I think that that is justas bad in this situation,
because we've never been taughthow to deal with this in a
healthy, an emotional, healthyway, and we've certainly not
brought God into it almost mostof the time.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Right.
Well, we've got some verses,too, that we want to share with
the listeners.
Romans 8, 1 brings this pointhome that it is not
self-condemnation that scripturesays.
Therefore, there is now nocondemnation for those who are
in Christ Jesus.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yes, love that, and it's not.
You know, it's very decisive.
It is no, absolutely no.
There is no condemnation John3.17, which comes right after
John 3.16, that everybody knowsFor God did not send his son
into the world to condemn theworld, but to save the world
(07:52):
through him.
And I know in my life I feellike he's saving me every day,
again and again.
I mean, yes, there's that onemoment where I made the decision
for Christ and I'm saved forall eternity.
But he's involved, he's active,he's saving me every single day
(08:12):
.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I love that.
Psalm 103, verse 12, says asfar as the east is from the west
, so far has he removed ourtransgressions from us.
We don't need to wallow, likeyou said, christina, we don't
need to rehearse them and reviewthem.
God has thrown our sins, ourmess ups as far as the East is
(08:34):
from the West.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yay, well, and how far is that really?
That's infinitely far.
I love the way that's written.
Okay, isaiah 43, 25.
I, even I, am he who blots outyour transgressions for my own
sake and remembers your sins nomore.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Thank you Lord, thank you Lord.
That's so sweet isn't?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
it.
Yes, it really is.
It's incredibly sweet.
It's so loving so loving Micah,7.19,.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
you will again have compassion on us.
You will tread our sinsunderfoot and hurl all our
iniquities into the depths ofthe sea.
So he's not camping on top ofthem saying oh, don't walk away.
You have forgotten this.
Come and remember how rottenyou were.
He doesn't do that to us.
Not at all.
He treads our sins underfoot,hurls all our iniquities into
the depths of the sea.
God's word could not be clearerhe doesn't condemn us.
(09:39):
No, he doesn't.
If you are using look and learnto shame yourself, you're
probably listening to the wrongvoice.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yes, we want God's voice.
Okay, so what about this?
It's also look and learn is notpunishing yourself into change,
so it's not vowing to do betternext time through self-hatred.
And that was me.
Again and again, I'll do better, I promise I'll get myself
(10:16):
together.
Oh, you know, it's just thatI'm going to pull myself up, I'm
going to figure it out, I'mgoing to do better and I'm going
to check the days off on thecalendar and then everything's
going to be okay.
No, no, that's not what lookand learn is, and I'm so
grateful for that.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
And another thing about this is it's not replaying
the failure on loop as somesort of penance going over and
over again in my mind what it isI did wrong and how often I've
done it wrong and how that'sgoing to get me in a heap of
trouble or world of hurt orwhatever.
No, to get me in a heap oftrouble or world of hurt or
whatever.
No, that's not.
Look and learn, for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Whoa.
And this one look and learn isnot trying to beat the flesh
with the flesh.
Whoa, that's really convicting,I mean.
It takes me back in a good way.
It takes me back to the daysthat I would put on clothes that
were too small to punish myself, like a pair of jeans that when
(11:11):
you sit down it cuts you inhalf.
You know those kinds and why.
Why would I even wear those?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
So you would remember not to eat all day?
Yes, and did it work?
Speaker 2 (11:23):
No, no, in fact, it did exactly the opposite,
because I felt so bad and souncomfortable and so full of
shame in those tight jeans thatI ate more.
I ate more to comfort myself.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yes, that was my reality, I think a lot of us try
to beat the flesh with theflesh, and one of the ways we do
that is with the bathroom scalewhen it comes to food and
eating.
So it might be the clothes thatare too small, but it might also
be.
I'm going to get on that scaleand I'm going to see how ugly
that number is and I'm going torecord it on the wall so my
husband can see it, my kids cansee it and maybe then I'll take
(12:04):
it seriously and get some ofthis weight.
Well, that's not what God'sabout.
That's not look and learn fromGod's perspective.
No, way.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
It doesn't at all line up with who he is.
You can't shame yourself intoChrist likeness.
That's not the gospel, that'sjust religion.
Yeah, religion.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
The third thing that look and learn is not is it's
not attributing a harshness toGod's voice.
This is huge.
I think a lot of us tend tothink that God speaks to us with
a wagging finger in our face,so we don't want to mistake the
Holy Spirit for a disapprovingboss or a critical parent.
(12:47):
No, no, no, that's not hisvoice.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
No, that's not his voice.
Look and learn.
Is also not thinking this ishuge, this is so big.
Not thinking that God isshaking his head in
disappointment.
You can't let God down.
No, he's not holding you up andhe's not.
I mean.
Let's just say that out loudtogether.
God is not disappointed in you.
(13:11):
Amen, he's not.
He's not One more time.
God is not disappointed in meor you or anybody out there.
That's not who he is.
That's not from the word of Godout there.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
That's not who he is, that's not from the word of God
.
Another thing that this kind ofincludes, you know, attributing
what do we attribute to God inthis?
Is that he is kind of distancedhimself from us.
So God is not going to beemotionally distant or
spiritually aloof because of mymess ups, because of my slips,
stumbles, falls or failures.
He is not.
He is always imminently close.
(13:52):
He draws in.
He gave Jesus so that we wouldnever have to experience him
turning his back on us.
He is a lover of our souls.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Oh, just keep talking , keep talking.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
It's important to recognize that his correction is
always wrapped in love.
Yes, of course he's holy and hedoes allow us to be chastised
or disciplined, but he doesn'tbelittle, he restores.
I love this truth because it'sso vital, it's life-giving.
His voice leads to life, not tothis condemnation and
(14:32):
joylessness and dreariness.
And I've been shamed.
Shame isn't from him, no, godlyconviction yes, but not shame.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
And that godly conviction is always gentle and
specific and kind and full ofcompassion.
That's who he is.
Just in case you're wonderingthe difference, because I needed
to know that a lot of times.
Yes, Okay, Number four whatelse is look and learn?
Not?
It's not trusting in your ownunderstanding.
(15:05):
What?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I should just get rid of that food.
If I can't stop eating it, Ishould just jettison it from the
house.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, and I should just do this, or I should just
stop it.
I should exercise more, Ishould go on that exercise plan
that's on the internet all thetime, on Instagram or whatever.
I should, I should, I should, Ishould, no, no, that's trusting
in your own understanding,mm-hmm Right, so it's not trying
(15:33):
to figure out everything apartfrom God.
Not at all.
I mean, we know, we know thisdoesn't work, we know it doesn't
work.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
it doesn't work.
It's not analyzing everymisstep as if you have to be
your own savior.
You are your own functionalMessiah.
You know what plan am I goingto start on Monday in order to
fix this?
I mean, really, that's whatends up happening, for so many
of us is we think I messed up.
I need to fix it.
What will I do to save myself?
Yeah, and that's not what lookand learn is either.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I'm going to buy this book.
I'm going to do this, this plan, with my coworkers, whatever it
is.
Yeah, I love that.
That's not what look and learnis.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I love that I love it so much.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Also, look and learn is not relying on
self-improvement instead ofspiritual insight.
That's not what this is.
No.
Proverbs 3, 5, and 6, trust inthe Lord with all your heart and
lean not on your ownunderstanding.
In all your ways, submit to himand he will make your path
(16:49):
straight.
I mean, that's pretty clear,isn't it?
And he uses words like all andall.
Again, you know he uses wordsthat are extreme because he
wants all our heart and he wantsus to go to him for absolutely
everything.
Look and learn is not a soloactivity.
(17:10):
It's an invitation to dialoguewith God, not dissect yourself
in isolation.
Wow, wow.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
That's so true.
You know the reason why Iwanted us to do a podcast on
this and we're getting to the.
What look and learn is here ina minute.
Yeah, the reason I wanted to dothis podcast episode and I think
Christina agrees we have heardso many people who have learned
about look and learn and theyknow that it's a way of handling
your failure, yourdisappointments in what you're
(17:41):
trying to do to honor God.
But they tell us what it wasthat they attribute to God, what
he said to do, and it soundspunitive, it sounds self
condemning, it sounds and it'slike oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Somewhere along the way there'sbeen something lost in the
translation, so we thought weneeded to be sure that we said
(18:03):
it again, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
So let's talk about what look and learn is, now that
we've cleared away the shameand the striving, let's talk
about what it really is and howit leads to healing and growth
and freedom and a totalexperience of God's grace in the
moment.
This is what I love about thistool is it is how we experience
(18:31):
we taste daily, daily, dailyGod's grace, saturating our
lives.
Yes, oh, I love that.
Yeah, me too.
The first thing is look andlearn is grace in motion.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Ooh grace in motion, I love that I love it.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
It's an ongoing rhythm of grace, not just a
one-time act of penance or oh mygosh, forgive me God, and now I
will be fixed forever or I willbeat myself up.
No, no, no, it's every day.
We use it every day, don't weChristine?
Every day, every single day,every single day, Every day,
Every single day.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Okay, Look and learn is also a tool God uses to draw
us back, not push us away.
It's something that draws usinto God's own heart.
It actually builds the intimacybetween us and the Lord.
It actually increases ourrelationship with him I mean,
(19:33):
he's always the same, of course,but for us to feel more safe,
more loved and then againthrowing that shame out the
window.
Shame is not from God.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Mm-mm, and along those lines too, this grace,
grace in motion, is, and lookand learn when it's done the way
God intends.
I think it's a process ofwelcoming God to lovingly parent
me.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
And.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
I'm experiencing that , nurturing that loving, kind
tenderness of the Holy Spirit,that look and learn, should be
characterized by those things.
If I'm really in the rightframe of mind, as I'm doing it,
I'm going to God and he islovingly parenting me with the
(20:21):
spirit inside of me.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
When we stumble, god isn't surprised.
You know he doesn't withdraw,that's not from the word of God.
He actually leans in, he'salready there.
He never, ever, ever leaves ourside, but he leans in ready to
teach and restore.
That's what his purpose is.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I love that.
One of my favorite verses isJeremiah 33, 3.
God says call to me and I willanswer you and I'll tell you
great and unsearchable thingsyou do not know.
This is so much better than metrying to sit down and figure
(21:05):
out.
What can I do, what can Igenerate, how can I change
things around?
He will tell me what I need toknow.
I need to be quiet with him, bestill and know he is God.
Really, look and learn is aconversation.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It is, it is.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
You know, god, what happened here?
What do I need to know?
What do you want to show me?
And he responds because, simply, he wants to.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Yes, because he loves us.
He loves us, he wants us to befree.
Okay, what else is look andlearn?
Oh, I love this one so much too.
Look and learn is seeingthrough God's eyes, looking at
our failure the way he does withredemption, not rejection.
(21:56):
We tend to reject ourselves, wetend to do that ourselves, but
that's not what God does, that'snot who he is, that's not how
he sees us.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
That's not who he is, that's not how he sees us.
That's beautiful.
Another wonderful aspect toseeing with God's eyes as we
look and learn is he will giveus eyes to see the patterns that
we need to see the lies thatthe enemy tries to hide.
He will expose those.
If we welcome him to do so andif we're open to his voice not
our own cleverness again, buthim we're going to see those
(22:35):
patterns and see those lies andwe can refute them with his
beautiful, beautiful,life-giving truth.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yes, and then look and learn is hearing God say
something like this.
Let me show you somethingdeeper here.
I mean, I can think of so manyexamples and I know, heidi,
we've shared examples for yearsof times where we thought, well,
it might be this, or it mightbe that we go to the Lord and he
(23:03):
shows us and it's like, oh mygosh, I never would have seen
that, I never would have seenthat, I never would have guessed
that that's why I wascontinuing on in that
destructive pattern or makingthat particular mistake or
whatever it was.
And then, once we know why,then we can take that, we can
(23:23):
look at the lies that areleading us to that and refute
those with truth and we canactually move forward.
We can move on and let thoseold patterns go which is so
hopeful and so amazing it is.
It's not about what you did.
It's about what you believe.
Look and learn helps youuncover the lie behind the
(23:45):
behavior, and then we canreplace it with truth.
Yay.
No more condemnation, justtruth.
Oh, what a relief.
This is so amazing.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
I love it.
Oh, I do too.
The third thing we're going totalk about, as far as look and
learn and what it is, is it's away to grow from mess to victory
.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Yeah, I love that too my messes don't have to define
me.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
The victory can, and really every single failure
becomes a seed for growth.
I can learn so much from theselook and learn sessions.
When I think of my mess ups, Icould probably learn at least
three things from each mess up.
I can learn from the Lord.
It gives me his wisdom wherebefore I had these fleshly
(24:36):
examples of going off the rails?
That's a great trade becauseour God is redeemer.
He redeems the mess and givesgrowth instead.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I love that he gives victory instead, he does, he
does, he makes beauty from theashes.
So and I love this truthNothing is wasted.
Not even your worst day iswasted, or your worst season, or
your worst year or whatever,but oftentimes it has to do with
(25:09):
in the moment.
It's like, ah no, nothing iswasted, you don't have to worry
about that anymore.
God will use every detail togrow you, to teach you and to
move you forward, which feelsamazing, forward, which feels
amazing.
I mean, I used to think I hadwasted so much time and I
(25:32):
thought I can't get that timeback.
What have I done?
No, nothing is wasted.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Nothing is wasted with our amazing loving God.
It's important for us torecognize especially those of us
who have a spirit ofperfectionism that.
God is still growing us out ofthat.
Victory isn't perfection.
I like to think of it as beingperfectly imperfect.
Yes, because when I mess up, Iam going to God, which is what
(26:02):
I'm supposed to do, and it'slife-giving to do that.
It's learning and movingforward in grace and with the
grace giver as my guide, it's abeautiful thing.
What I love about look andlearn, done in a way that God is
leading me and he's the guideand he's giving grace, is that
he equips me for victory thenext time.
(26:25):
So, if all things are equal orjust about, I have what I need,
I can prepare for whateversituation if I need to, and I
can execute the plan that Godgave me, even with the mind and
all strategies in place that Godgave me, and I can experience
grace in that as well.
(26:46):
You know, the enemy wants us tohide in shame and God wants us
to learn and rise up in truth.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I love that too.
I love that and I love that yousaid what you said about hiding
, because that's a big one forus, isn't it Hiding in shame?
No more hiding.
Let's shine the light oneverything and bring it to the
Lord.
There is no condemnation inChrist.
There is no shame, no need tohide at all.
(27:17):
Isn't that just so freeing it?
feels so good even to say thatRomans 8, 28 says and we know
that in all things God works forthe good of those who love him.
He's working for us.
He's for us.
This is going to be good.
It's going to be better andbetter.
Look and learn moves us forward.
(27:40):
I know I've said that a coupleof times, but that keeps coming
to my mind.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Joel 2, 25 says you know, this is the Lord's own
word I will restore to you theyears that the locust has eaten.
Think about that for a minute.
If you have struggled with anycounterfeit comfort for any
length of time at all whetherit's food and eating, or your
body image, or it might be ashopping issue or scrolling on
(28:08):
social media, whatever it mightbe God wants to restore anything
that's been lost, because he isa restorer, he is a repairer,
he is a redeemer.
Yes, and look and learn is thegreatest way to do this.
It absolutely is.
So the next time you mess upand we all will, yes, you will
(28:33):
let's have a plan.
Let's not run to condemnationor even a fake version of look
and learn, which really isanother form of condemnation if
you do it that way Right.
Let's run to grace, let's justembrace him and let him embrace
us and delight over us withsinging.
Crawl up into his lap.
He'll comfort us with his love.
(28:54):
Grab your journal, I mean youcan.
You don't have to have ajournal, you can just speak it
to him.
But ask the Lord, what do youwant to show me from this?
Let look and learn.
Be what it was always meant tobe for you A tool of intimacy, a
tool of redemption, a tool ofrenewal, and really it's filled
(29:15):
with sanctification, forgiveness, all of those good words from
the word of God.
It's really, really good.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Oh, I love that.
Heidi, thank you for sharingthat so beautifully with me
today.
Wow, we hope that that has beenan encouragement to somebody
out there.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
It has to me.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I need to hear the truth again and again, and Heidi
and I are just grinning ear toear over here.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I can't wait to go look and learn.
I know because I probablyalready need to exactly.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
So be sure to join us for our next episode of
Revelation Within on the go.
We'll see you next time bye fornow.
Hi and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within On
the Go.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I'm Heidi Viles-Mapperson, one of your
hosts and the owner and leadcoach of the RevelationWithinorg
ministry, and I'm ChristinaMotley, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within, and we're sohappy to invite you to join us
today for this episode ofRevelation Within on the go.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Oh, yay.
Well, hey, friends, welcome toanother episode of the
Revelation Within podcast.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Revelation Within Podcast.
Today we are exploringsomething that is really quite
central to how we walk out mindrenewal.
Yes, it's our mind renewal toolcalled Look and Learn, and
here's what we want you to knowright up front, when we slip,
(01:01):
stumble, slide or fall or evenfail.
It's not about beating yourselfup, right?
It's all about, yes, it's allabout letting God speak into
your story, into your narrative,with his amazing grace.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh my gosh, I love that, heidi, I love that it's
about letting God speak intoyour story with grace.
I love that, Heidi.
I love that.
It's about letting God speakinto your story with grace.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
So why don't you give us an example of when you used
to use look and learn, and itwasn't with grace.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Oh, when I used to use well, that really wasn't
look and learn what I used to do.
I mean, for many, many, manyyears.
You know I struggled with allkinds of things, not just food
and eating issues, but we allstruggle with oh, I shouldn't
have said that to my husband, or, you know, I didn't do a good
job here, or this didn't workout because I procrastinated or
(01:59):
whatever it was, and so what Iused to do is exactly what you
just said.
I would beat myself up and Iwould say things, especially in
my mind, where people couldn'thear.
I would say things like I can'tbelieve you did that, or what
is the matter with you,christina, can't you get it
together?
Why can't you be like her?
(02:21):
Or you know, you should haveblah, blah, blah.
You should have blah blah blah.
I mean, I was pretty mean tomyself in my own mind.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
It's like you reamed yourself over the coals.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yes, it is.
I mean, I didn't know and Iknow I've said this so many
times, but I didn't know that mythoughts, what was going on in
my brain, in my mind, was soimportant and that it was
actually deciding for me what Iwas going to do in the next
moment, in the next afternoon,in the next day, the next week.
(02:57):
I did not know that, I did notrealize and I think for a long,
long time I believed that Ineeded to hate myself into
positive change, and it's justnot possible.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I kind of did.
I used the tool that we arecalling look and learn like a
spiritual post-mortem.
I really did.
I'd pick apart what I did wrong, always with the spirit of
self-condemnation.
I would try to vow never to doit again and basically beat
myself up in the process andwalk away discouraged.
(03:31):
And then what did I end up?
Needing Comfort is what I wouldgo back to.
In my case, the biggestcounterfeit comfort that I would
turn to again and again wasovereating, and so I would go
back to food again and again.
That's not what God intended.
To try to beat ourselves up orto look at what happened with
(03:52):
this just condemning lens.
It's not what we teach atRevelation Within either.
Yay.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Oh my gosh.
Well, and the other thing and Iknow I've talked about this too
the other thing I would do is Ifelt like I had to kind of
wallow, I had to kind of sit inthe mud for a while and I would
fill up journals and journalsand I wrote about it enough.
If I let several days past, ifI felt really, really bad enough
(04:31):
, then I would change and I didthat for years.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, I would try to cry enough tears and I just I
could cry a river and itwouldn't work.
Yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, right All right ?
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Well, let's dismantle the lies, because we have all
used this powerful tool thewrong way.
I hate to say wrong, but it isit's wrong.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
It is the wrong way.
It's a way toward more and morefailure, and discouragement is
what it is.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yes, yes, and if you, or somebody you know, or
whatever, grew up with thisstandard of perfectionism,
legalism or like a deeplycritical inner voice and you
know it, if it's you, this isgoing to really speak to that
today.
What look and learn really isabout.
(05:18):
But we're going to start offwith what it's not.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
So the first one, christina, the first one is it's
not self-condemnation, so it'snot rehearsing what you did
wrong to make yourself feel bad.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And it's not dragging your past failure around like a
punishment, it's not that youknow beating myself up with.
Look at what I did.
It was awful, it was stupid, itwas really ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Oh my gosh, and how many of us do that all the time.
And here, our coworkers, ourfamily members, our friends
we're kind of listening to thatall the time, aren't we?
Yeah, it's kind of a common wayto deal with things like that.
Okay, here's another.
It's not.
It's not Look and learn, is notassigning yourself permanent
(06:06):
labels based on temporarymistakes, like I am a no good
for nothing.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Or I'm just a big lazy glutton.
Yeah, no, that's not.
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yes, or I'm not smart enough, I'm not equipped, I
don't know.
I you know, I've heard a lot ofpeople say I just don't get
this.
I must not be smart enough.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Or my body must be broken.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yes, I just had another thought when you
mentioned, heidi, about growingup with perfectionism and
legalism and that deeplycritical inner voice A lot of
people on the very other end ofit grew up with.
Like no boundaries, you know,it was just kind of a free for
all Do whatever you want, raiseyourself, you know, you go
(06:53):
Whatever feels good.
And I think that that is justas bad in this situation,
because we've never been taughthow to deal with this in a
healthy, an emotional, healthyway, and we've certainly not
brought God into it almost mostof the time.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Right.
Well, we've got some verses,too, that we want to share with
the listeners.
Romans 8, 1 brings this pointhome that it is not
self-condemnation that scripturesays.
Therefore, there is now nocondemnation for those who are
in Christ Jesus.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yes, love that, and it's not.
You know, it's very decisive.
It is no, absolutely no.
There is no condemnation John3.17, which comes right after
John 3.16, that everybody knowsFor God did not send his son
into the world to condemn theworld, but to save the world
(07:52):
through him.
And I know in my life I feellike he's saving me every day,
again and again.
I mean, yes, there's that onemoment where I made the decision
for Christ and I'm saved forall eternity.
But he's involved, he's active,he's saving me every single day
(08:12):
.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I love that.
Psalm 103, verse 12, says asfar as the east is from the west
, so far has he removed ourtransgressions from us.
We don't need to wallow, likeyou said, christina, we don't
need to rehearse them and reviewthem.
God has thrown our sins, ourmess ups as far as the East is
(08:34):
from the West.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yay, well, and how far is that really?
That's infinitely far.
I love the way that's written.
Okay, isaiah 43, 25.
I, even I, am he who blots outyour transgressions for my own
sake and remembers your sins nomore.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Thank you Lord, thank you Lord.
That's so sweet isn't?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
it.
Yes, it really is.
It's incredibly sweet.
It's so loving so loving Micah,7.19,.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
you will again have compassion on us.
You will tread our sinsunderfoot and hurl all our
iniquities into the depths ofthe sea.
So he's not camping on top ofthem saying oh, don't walk away.
You have forgotten this.
Come and remember how rottenyou were.
He doesn't do that to us.
Not at all.
He treads our sins underfoot,hurls all our iniquities into
the depths of the sea.
God's word could not be clearerhe doesn't condemn us.
(09:39):
No, he doesn't.
If you are using look and learnto shame yourself, you're
probably listening to the wrongvoice.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yes, we want God's voice.
Okay, so what about this?
It's also look and learn is notpunishing yourself into change,
so it's not vowing to do betternext time through self-hatred.
And that was me.
Again and again, I'll do better, I promise I'll get myself
(10:16):
together.
Oh, you know, it's just thatI'm going to pull myself up, I'm
going to figure it out, I'mgoing to do better and I'm going
to check the days off on thecalendar and then everything's
going to be okay.
No, no, that's not what lookand learn is, and I'm so
grateful for that.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
And another thing about this is it's not replaying
the failure on loop as somesort of penance going over and
over again in my mind what it isI did wrong and how often I've
done it wrong and how that'sgoing to get me in a heap of
trouble or world of hurt orwhatever.
No, to get me in a heap oftrouble or world of hurt or
whatever.
No, that's not.
Look and learn, for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Whoa.
And this one look and learn isnot trying to beat the flesh
with the flesh.
Whoa, that's really convicting,I mean.
It takes me back in a good way.
It takes me back to the daysthat I would put on clothes that
were too small to punish myself, like a pair of jeans that when
(11:11):
you sit down it cuts you inhalf.
You know those kinds and why.
Why would I even wear those?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
So you would remember not to eat all day?
Yes, and did it work?
Speaker 2 (11:23):
No, no, in fact, it did exactly the opposite,
because I felt so bad and souncomfortable and so full of
shame in those tight jeans thatI ate more.
I ate more to comfort myself.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yes, that was my reality, I think a lot of us try
to beat the flesh with theflesh, and one of the ways we do
that is with the bathroom scalewhen it comes to food and
eating.
So it might be the clothes thatare too small, but it might also
be.
I'm going to get on that scaleand I'm going to see how ugly
that number is and I'm going torecord it on the wall so my
husband can see it, my kids cansee it and maybe then I'll take
(12:04):
it seriously and get some ofthis weight.
Well, that's not what God'sabout.
That's not look and learn fromGod's perspective.
No, way.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
It doesn't at all line up with who he is.
You can't shame yourself intoChrist likeness.
That's not the gospel, that'sjust religion.
Yeah, religion.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
The third thing that look and learn is not is it's
not attributing a harshness toGod's voice.
This is huge.
I think a lot of us tend tothink that God speaks to us with
a wagging finger in our face,so we don't want to mistake the
Holy Spirit for a disapprovingboss or a critical parent.
(12:47):
No, no, no, that's not hisvoice.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
No, that's not his voice.
Look and learn.
Is also not thinking this ishuge, this is so big.
Not thinking that God isshaking his head in
disappointment.
You can't let God down.
No, he's not holding you up andhe's not.
I mean.
Let's just say that out loudtogether.
God is not disappointed in you.
(13:11):
Amen, he's not.
He's not One more time.
God is not disappointed in meor you or anybody out there.
That's not who he is.
That's not from the word of Godout there.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
That's not who he is, that's not from the word of God
.
Another thing that this kind ofincludes, you know, attributing
what do we attribute to God inthis?
Is that he is kind of distancedhimself from us.
So God is not going to beemotionally distant or
spiritually aloof because of mymess ups, because of my slips,
stumbles, falls or failures.
He is not.
He is always imminently close.
(13:52):
He draws in.
He gave Jesus so that we wouldnever have to experience him
turning his back on us.
He is a lover of our souls.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Oh, just keep talking , keep talking.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
It's important to recognize that his correction is
always wrapped in love.
Yes, of course he's holy and hedoes allow us to be chastised
or disciplined, but he doesn'tbelittle, he restores.
I love this truth because it'sso vital, it's life-giving.
His voice leads to life, not tothis condemnation and
(14:32):
joylessness and dreariness.
And I've been shamed.
Shame isn't from him, no, godlyconviction yes, but not shame.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
And that godly conviction is always gentle and
specific and kind and full ofcompassion.
That's who he is.
Just in case you're wonderingthe difference, because I needed
to know that a lot of times.
Yes, Okay, Number four whatelse is look and learn?
Not?
It's not trusting in your ownunderstanding.
(15:05):
What?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I should just get rid of that food.
If I can't stop eating it, Ishould just jettison it from the
house.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, and I should just do this, or I should just
stop it.
I should exercise more, Ishould go on that exercise plan
that's on the internet all thetime, on Instagram or whatever.
I should, I should, I should, Ishould, no, no, that's trusting
in your own understanding,mm-hmm Right, so it's not trying
(15:33):
to figure out everything apartfrom God.
Not at all.
I mean, we know, we know thisdoesn't work, we know it doesn't
work.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
it doesn't work.
It's not analyzing everymisstep as if you have to be
your own savior.
You are your own functionalMessiah.
You know what plan am I goingto start on Monday in order to
fix this?
I mean, really, that's whatends up happening, for so many
of us is we think I messed up.
I need to fix it.
What will I do to save myself?
Yeah, and that's not what lookand learn is either.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I'm going to buy this book.
I'm going to do this, this plan, with my coworkers, whatever it
is.
Yeah, I love that.
That's not what look and learnis.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I love that I love it so much.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Also, look and learn is not relying on
self-improvement instead ofspiritual insight.
That's not what this is.
No.
Proverbs 3, 5, and 6, trust inthe Lord with all your heart and
lean not on your ownunderstanding.
In all your ways, submit to himand he will make your path
(16:49):
straight.
I mean, that's pretty clear,isn't it?
And he uses words like all andall.
Again, you know he uses wordsthat are extreme because he
wants all our heart and he wantsus to go to him for absolutely
everything.
Look and learn is not a soloactivity.
(17:10):
It's an invitation to dialoguewith God, not dissect yourself
in isolation.
Wow, wow.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
That's so true.
You know the reason why Iwanted us to do a podcast on
this and we're getting to the.
What look and learn is here ina minute.
Yeah, the reason I wanted to dothis podcast episode and I think
Christina agrees we have heardso many people who have learned
about look and learn and theyknow that it's a way of handling
your failure, yourdisappointments in what you're
(17:41):
trying to do to honor God.
But they tell us what it wasthat they attribute to God, what
he said to do, and it soundspunitive, it sounds self
condemning, it sounds and it'slike oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Somewhere along the way there'sbeen something lost in the
translation, so we thought weneeded to be sure that we said
(18:03):
it again, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
So let's talk about what look and learn is, now that
we've cleared away the shameand the striving, let's talk
about what it really is and howit leads to healing and growth
and freedom and a totalexperience of God's grace in the
moment.
This is what I love about thistool is it is how we experience
(18:31):
we taste daily, daily, dailyGod's grace, saturating our
lives.
Yes, oh, I love that.
Yeah, me too.
The first thing is look andlearn is grace in motion.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Ooh grace in motion, I love that I love it.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
It's an ongoing rhythm of grace, not just a
one-time act of penance or oh mygosh, forgive me God, and now I
will be fixed forever or I willbeat myself up.
No, no, no, it's every day.
We use it every day, don't weChristine?
Every day, every single day,every single day, Every day,
Every single day.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Okay, Look and learn is also a tool God uses to draw
us back, not push us away.
It's something that draws usinto God's own heart.
It actually builds the intimacybetween us and the Lord.
It actually increases ourrelationship with him I mean,
(19:33):
he's always the same, of course,but for us to feel more safe,
more loved and then againthrowing that shame out the
window.
Shame is not from God.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Mm-mm, and along those lines too, this grace,
grace in motion, is, and lookand learn when it's done the way
God intends.
I think it's a process ofwelcoming God to lovingly parent
me.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
And.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
I'm experiencing that , nurturing that loving, kind
tenderness of the Holy Spirit,that look and learn, should be
characterized by those things.
If I'm really in the rightframe of mind, as I'm doing it,
I'm going to God and he islovingly parenting me with the
(20:21):
spirit inside of me.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
When we stumble, god isn't surprised.
You know he doesn't withdraw,that's not from the word of God.
He actually leans in, he'salready there.
He never, ever, ever leaves ourside, but he leans in ready to
teach and restore.
That's what his purpose is.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I love that.
One of my favorite verses isJeremiah 33, 3.
God says call to me and I willanswer you and I'll tell you
great and unsearchable thingsyou do not know.
This is so much better than metrying to sit down and figure
(21:05):
out.
What can I do, what can Igenerate, how can I change
things around?
He will tell me what I need toknow.
I need to be quiet with him, bestill and know he is God.
Really, look and learn is aconversation.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It is, it is.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
You know, god, what happened here?
What do I need to know?
What do you want to show me?
And he responds because, simply, he wants to.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Yes, because he loves us.
He loves us, he wants us to befree.
Okay, what else is look andlearn?
Oh, I love this one so much too.
Look and learn is seeingthrough God's eyes, looking at
our failure the way he does withredemption, not rejection.
(21:56):
We tend to reject ourselves, wetend to do that ourselves, but
that's not what God does, that'snot who he is, that's not how
he sees us.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
That's not who he is, that's not how he sees us.
That's beautiful.
Another wonderful aspect toseeing with God's eyes as we
look and learn is he will giveus eyes to see the patterns that
we need to see the lies thatthe enemy tries to hide.
He will expose those.
If we welcome him to do so andif we're open to his voice not
our own cleverness again, buthim we're going to see those
(22:35):
patterns and see those lies andwe can refute them with his
beautiful, beautiful,life-giving truth.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yes, and then look and learn is hearing God say
something like this.
Let me show you somethingdeeper here.
I mean, I can think of so manyexamples and I know, heidi,
we've shared examples for yearsof times where we thought, well,
it might be this, or it mightbe that we go to the Lord and he
(23:03):
shows us and it's like, oh mygosh, I never would have seen
that, I never would have seenthat, I never would have guessed
that that's why I wascontinuing on in that
destructive pattern or makingthat particular mistake or
whatever it was.
And then, once we know why,then we can take that, we can
(23:23):
look at the lies that areleading us to that and refute
those with truth and we canactually move forward.
We can move on and let thoseold patterns go which is so
hopeful and so amazing it is.
It's not about what you did.
It's about what you believe.
Look and learn helps youuncover the lie behind the
(23:45):
behavior, and then we canreplace it with truth.
Yay.
No more condemnation, justtruth.
Oh, what a relief.
This is so amazing.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
I love it.
Oh, I do too.
The third thing we're going totalk about, as far as look and
learn and what it is, is it's away to grow from mess to victory
.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Yeah, I love that too my messes don't have to define
me.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
The victory can, and really every single failure
becomes a seed for growth.
I can learn so much from theselook and learn sessions.
When I think of my mess ups, Icould probably learn at least
three things from each mess up.
I can learn from the Lord.
It gives me his wisdom wherebefore I had these fleshly
(24:36):
examples of going off the rails?
That's a great trade becauseour God is redeemer.
He redeems the mess and givesgrowth instead.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I love that he gives victory instead, he does, he
does, he makes beauty from theashes.
So and I love this truthNothing is wasted.
Not even your worst day iswasted, or your worst season, or
your worst year or whatever,but oftentimes it has to do with
(25:09):
in the moment.
It's like, ah no, nothing iswasted, you don't have to worry
about that anymore.
God will use every detail togrow you, to teach you and to
move you forward, which feelsamazing, forward, which feels
amazing.
I mean, I used to think I hadwasted so much time and I
(25:32):
thought I can't get that timeback.
What have I done?
No, nothing is wasted.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Nothing is wasted with our amazing loving God.
It's important for us torecognize especially those of us
who have a spirit ofperfectionism that.
God is still growing us out ofthat.
Victory isn't perfection.
I like to think of it as beingperfectly imperfect.
Yes, because when I mess up, Iam going to God, which is what
(26:02):
I'm supposed to do, and it'slife-giving to do that.
It's learning and movingforward in grace and with the
grace giver as my guide, it's abeautiful thing.
What I love about look andlearn, done in a way that God is
leading me and he's the guideand he's giving grace, is that
he equips me for victory thenext time.
(26:25):
So, if all things are equal orjust about, I have what I need,
I can prepare for whateversituation if I need to, and I
can execute the plan that Godgave me, even with the mind and
all strategies in place that Godgave me, and I can experience
grace in that as well.
(26:46):
You know, the enemy wants us tohide in shame and God wants us
to learn and rise up in truth.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I love that too.
I love that and I love that yousaid what you said about hiding
, because that's a big one forus, isn't it Hiding in shame?
No more hiding.
Let's shine the light oneverything and bring it to the
Lord.
There is no condemnation inChrist.
There is no shame, no need tohide at all.
(27:17):
Isn't that just so freeing it?
feels so good even to say thatRomans 8, 28 says and we know
that in all things God works forthe good of those who love him.
He's working for us.
He's for us.
This is going to be good.
It's going to be better andbetter.
Look and learn moves us forward.
(27:40):
I know I've said that a coupleof times, but that keeps coming
to my mind.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Joel 2, 25 says you know, this is the Lord's own
word I will restore to you theyears that the locust has eaten.
Think about that for a minute.
If you have struggled with anycounterfeit comfort for any
length of time at all whetherit's food and eating, or your
body image, or it might be ashopping issue or scrolling on
(28:08):
social media, whatever it mightbe God wants to restore anything
that's been lost, because he isa restorer, he is a repairer,
he is a redeemer.
Yes, and look and learn is thegreatest way to do this.
It absolutely is.
So the next time you mess upand we all will, yes, you will
(28:33):
let's have a plan.
Let's not run to condemnationor even a fake version of look
and learn, which really isanother form of condemnation if
you do it that way Right.
Let's run to grace, let's justembrace him and let him embrace
us and delight over us withsinging.
Crawl up into his lap.
He'll comfort us with his love.
(28:54):
Grab your journal, I mean youcan.
You don't have to have ajournal, you can just speak it
to him.
But ask the Lord, what do youwant to show me from this?
Let look and learn.
Be what it was always meant tobe for you A tool of intimacy, a
tool of redemption, a tool ofrenewal, and really it's filled
(29:15):
with sanctification, forgiveness, all of those good words from
the word of God.
It's really, really good.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Oh, I love that.
Heidi, thank you for sharingthat so beautifully with me
today.
Wow, we hope that that has beenan encouragement to somebody
out there.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
It has to me.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I need to hear the truth again and again, and Heidi
and I are just grinning ear toear over here.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I can't wait to go look and learn.
I know because I probablyalready need to exactly.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
So be sure to join us for our next episode of
Revelation Within on the go.
We'll see you next time bye fornow.
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