September 3, 2025 • 40 mins
For years, we carried the heavy misunderstanding that repentance meant shame, guilt, and trying to punish ourselves into change. We even believed we could “hate ourselves into holiness,” but that never worked. Over time, God showed us the truth: repentance is not about condemnation—it’s about kindness and freedom. Romans 2:4 reminds us that it’s His kindness that draws us close, not fear or punishment. We’ve seen firsthand that when we turn back to Him, He runs to meet us like the father in the story of the prodigal son, arms wide open and full of compassion.
In this episode, we share how repentance looks in our own lives today. Christina opens up about her breast cancer journey and how God is inviting her to turn from fear toward His presence. Heidi reflects on letting go of her need to control everything and learning to rest in God’s love. Whatever your struggle—whether it’s food, health, or daily challenges—His invitation remains the same.
Ready to reframe your understanding of repentance? Join our September theme "Turning Seasons, Turning Hearts" in our private community. The first month is free at revelationwithin.org. Together, let's discover how turning to God brings not condemnation, but the refreshment our souls desperately need.
Learn more about our Revelation Within Community: https://www.revelationwithin.org
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi and welcome to our podcast, revelation Within On
the Go.
I'm Heidi Biles-Maepperson, oneof your hosts and the owner and
lead coach of theRevelationWithinorg ministry,
and I'm Christina Motley, yourother host, also a Revelation
Within coach and Heidi's partnerin all things Revelation within
(00:24):
.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
We are so happy to invite you to join us today for
this episode of Revelationwithin.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
On the go.
We're in sync for that one,that's okay.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
That's okay.
Our hearts are in sync.
Our hearts are in sync for thatone.
That's okay.
That's okay.
Our hearts are in sync.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Our hearts are in sync, yes definitely yes, well,
we are going to be sharing withyou some thoughts that we have
that kind of kick off our themein our private community.
So I think you'll see whatwe're talking about as we go on.
But before we start, I kind ofhave a confession.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Oh, oh, my goodness, oh, we're all ears, heidi,
everybody's leaning in.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Actually it is kind of vulnerable.
So I feel like you and I, ourministry, needs to kind of be
honest with everybody.
Repentance it's something we'vetiptoed around for 26 years
really, and it's easier to talkabout grace or joy or reward,
(01:45):
but without repentance thosethings don't really have any,
any meat to them.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
There's no foundation .
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, it's right, you're true, You're right.
I can be honest with you.
There was a ministry that wassimilar to Thin Within, when you
know, back in 2001 or so, thatused the word repentance a lot
and it became a very abusiveword.
(02:14):
And you know, the truth is,repentance isn't about shame at
all.
It's about freedom.
But I know I was impacted bythat um program and the way that
it impacted me.
To talk about repentance it wasmore fear of punishment if I
(02:37):
ate too much, or something likethat.
And so we're going to talkabout repentance, we're going to
go ahead and break our silence.
We're not going to hide from itanymore.
In fact, in our community we'respending a whole month and it's
not something that results inshame, it's not something that
(02:58):
results in us feeling beatendown when it's spoken of
biblically, and that's whatwe're going to do.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I love it.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yay, well, really at its heart.
Repentance is about turningback to the God who loves us,
away from counterfeit, comforts,counterfeit anything.
And so today, we're going totackle it head on.
Comforts counterfeit anything.
And so today, we're going totackle it head on.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yes, it's long overdue, we know, okay, yeah,
absolutely.
I love that you shared that,heidi, and I mean those of you
listening who have been walkingwith the Lord for a while, a
long time, even a short time.
You know what comes fromrepentance something so good, so
sweet, so life-giving and,heidi, I love that we're doing
(03:47):
this.
This repentance turning as thefall comes, as the leaves turn,
and I love that we'll be able todo that for the month of
September as we watch thingsturn in creation.
I think it's just going to bethe most beautiful, beautiful
time.
So thank you so much forsetting this up for us.
(04:09):
We are ready.
I'm excited.
I've I've told a couple peopleyou know about it that I'm
coaching, and they're justexcited too.
They're like oh, that soundsfantastic, so let's jump in with
two feet.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah, sounds good.
You know, for the past fewmonths our themes have focused
on listening, resting in theLord, being still with him, and
then August's theme wasbasically a celebration of all
God does.
It's gratitude theme.
And it's interesting because,as I was considering and praying
(04:46):
about what September's themewould be and speaking with Joy
Lynn, who's also a part of ourRevelation Within team, she and
I both landed on the same.
You know, we're aware of God'sgoodness afresh because of
gratitude and as we are aware ofhis goodness, to us it just
(05:07):
seems like it's a greatprogression.
It continues that rest theme,that peace in him and that
celebratory gratitude.
Thank you, god.
And now it's like, oh, I'm leftwith me and standing before a
holy God and he wants toencourage my heart, he wants to
(05:30):
lift us up.
Anyway, we're going to kind oflaunch out of, but from Romans 2
, verse 4.
So Romans, chapter 2, verse 4.
And this is really the heart ofrepentance.
Go ahead and read that phrase,christina, I would love to God's
kindness is intended to leadyou to repentance.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
What is this really about?
This is really aboutrelationship.
This is really about us and theLord in those quiet moments
when it's just the two of us.
Like you said, heidi, it's aturning toward him and it's
really him drawing us in closerto his own heart, and there's
(06:17):
growth there and there's lifethere and there's change there
and there's breaking ofstrongholds there and it's God's
kindness that leads us.
I love that.
I love thinking of repentanceas God leading me with kindness
and inviting me.
It's an invitation inviting mecloser to him and to walk more
(06:41):
closely with him, to him and towalk more closely with him.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
It's not about groveling or or punishment, but
it's about turning turning fromwhat is fading, turning to what
is eternal and, and even morethan that, turning from what is
not life-giving turning to whatreally is life-giving and that's
(07:06):
, you know, what the Lord has inmind for us.
I just want to read that entireverse in context.
Okay, great Romans 2, verse 4.
Do you show contempt for theriches of his kindness,
forbearance and patience, notrealizing that God's kindness is
(07:27):
intended to lead you torepentance?
Wow, I mean, when you look atthe first part of that verse the
riches of his kindness,forbearance and patience.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yes, wow, riches, riches, riches and that is
intended to lead me torepentance.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Wow, riches, riches.
And that is intended to lead meto repentance.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Right and I, if there are riches there and a
closeness with the Lord thatdoesn't come in another way, I
don't want to miss it.
I don't want to miss one littletiny minute of that.
I want to be right in there,close to the Lord and being
vulnerable and honest and readyto turn.
(08:09):
I just oh, I love, love it, andI feel like the timing is so
good for us to do this afterwhat we have talked about in our
community for the last fewmonths.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
And in our podcasts too, from shame to shalom.
Yes, and we have our classstarting in September from shame
to shalom, and we're going toplunge in for eight weeks as
well.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
But you know, it's interesting because the whole
idea of repentance has carriedwith it.
For me, this head hanging downand I feel bad and it's almost
like this morose thing andthat's not biblical.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
No, not at all.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Do you have any examples of how you felt that
way?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Oh, yeah, I mean, I felt that way for decades.
I was especially with my issueswith food and eating and body
image.
I mean I just thought shamemust go with repentance, guilt
and fear and all those awfulthings.
Fear of punishment what aboutperformance?
I thought that was all wrappedin with repentance.
(09:21):
And I've talked about before themany, many stacks of journals
that I filled up with shame andguilt and fear and just all of
those things, and it didn't drawme closer to the Lord.
It wasn't.
It didn't bring life, it didn'tbring anything new, it didn't
(09:42):
help me to see what I could dodifferently.
There wasn't change there.
It was always the same, alwaysthe same.
I knew that I was somehow offon this subject and here I had
been a Christian since I was alittle girl and Bible studies
and church and reading all kindsof scripture.
But I still knew something'soff here because it didn't line
(10:04):
up with who God is.
You know, god is a God ofchange and life and always good
for us, always working for us togrow, and so I didn't realize,
I didn't understand thatrepentance is something
beautiful and it leads to evenmore closeness with the Lord.
(10:28):
Yeah, it's not about fear ofpunishment.
It's not about performance andit's certainly not about shame.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Right, right.
And I know, connected to all ofthat, the journals that we
would write because I did thatas well where you know, just
pouring out, oh my gosh, I feelso bad, bad, bad bad bad.
I thought I could hate myselfinto some sort of positive
change.
Okay, If I feel bad enough, ifI really work myself into this
awful lather, that maybe I wouldstop misbehaving.
(11:01):
maybe and I did, I would phraseit as misbehaving.
Misbehaving, maybe, and I did,I would phrase it as misbehaving
disobedience.
And yeah, sometimes it is.
But I could not hate myself inthe positive change.
It never once worked and reallywhat that does is it shows me
my thoughts about who God is andwhat he was like were
misaligned.
(11:21):
They weren't aligned with whatis true.
When I look at the word of Godand what it says about what God
is like and how God has chosento reveal himself in scripture,
I mean it's amazing all of thekindness and love and grace and
mercy and long suffering, and Imean the list goes on and on.
(11:44):
Yes there are points where Godis filled with wrath towards sin
and evil.
Yes, but he also has chosen usbefore the foundation of the
world to be holy and blamelessin his sight.
In love, he predestined us tobe adopted as his children.
Yes, and that's what heattributes to us because of
(12:05):
Christ, which is a beautifulplace to be.
Very, and that's what I want toremember.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yes, it's a.
It's a place that leads torelease, return and realignment.
I love those re's.
Yes, me too.
Yeah, it's no, I mean me too,heidi, all those years of trying
to hate myself into positivechange and I know so many of you
(12:34):
listening can relate to that.
It's very much, it's verycommon.
It's something that many of ustry to do for years and it
doesn't get us anywhere.
The change doesn't come, and weget so discouraged because we
don't know what else to do, andso we just keep on in the same
patterns.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
We want to get out of that pattern.
We want to see repentance forwhat it is from God's word
Mm-hmm.
And I really love our mindrenewal tool look and learn is
exactly that.
It is going to God and agreeingwith him that this isn't what I
want the looking part, thisisn't what I wanted for my life
and I know it's not what youwanted for my life.
(13:23):
You don't want me to keeplooking in all of these life
sucking places for fulfillmentor the answers or whatever it
might be.
You want me to do somethingdifferent.
So, bringing it to God that'sthe look part and agreeing with
him and then asking him whatwould you have me learn from
(13:43):
that misstep, that stumble, thatsin?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
as it were.
What?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
can I learn from that ?
And that's a very differentquestion and a different
approach.
How can I beat myself up enough, which is not a God
characteristic.
How can I beat myself up enoughthat I'll stop it, that I'll
just stop it.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Stop it Right, exactly Well.
And it helps me so much toremember how God greets me every
time.
Every time I turn to him, hisgreeting is the same it's
compassion, it's joy.
It's joy, it's excitement.
You know, it's patience andlove and tenderness.
(14:22):
He does not greet me withcondemnation.
There is no condemnation inChrist.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Romans 8, 1, right.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
It helps me to think of it that way Romans 8, 1,
right, it helps me to think ofit that way.
When I turn to him, when I'mrunning to him, he is greeting
me with his love, and it'slimitless love.
It's not even love that we canimagine.
It's love that goes on beyondthe skies.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yes, it just goes and goes, it does.
It makes me think of the storyin Luke, chapter 15, of the
prodigal son.
The prodigal son, as soon as hegot himself up out of that pig
pit and came running, and he didnot clean himself up first, I
am reasonably confident.
When the father saw him coming,what did he do?
(15:10):
Did he, you know, say no way,I'm not going to embrace this.
At the very least, cleanyourself up first.
No no, the father did somethingvery undignified at the time.
You know for those times andplaces and his stature in the,
in the society he ran.
Can you?
(15:31):
Just picture that I picturedthis older guy kind of hiking up
his robe over his knee.
Oh my gosh, what a wonderfulgreeting that must be.
That is our God.
That's an example.
Jesus wanted us to see that asa picture of what God is like
(15:52):
when we turn back to him.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Wow, wow, well, and there's so, so many examples of
Jesus's interaction with peoplein the New Testament.
That is like that.
You know.
I just would encourage you, ifyou're not sure about this, if
you're not sure how God greets,you, go into the New Testament
and read those stories.
(16:16):
How does he greet the peoplethat turn to him?
Yeah, always with love, alwayswith compassion, like a best
friend.
You know, I think about that.
Heidi and her husband are goingto come and visit me in a
little bit here and I'm soexcited about that and I'm
(16:37):
imagining Heidi and me justrunning.
You know it's, and the way thatwe'll greet each other is just
going to be awesome and I thinkabout that with the Lord.
He is our best friend.
He is our heavenly, loving,tender father.
He is like our closest brotherand that's how he greets us.
(17:03):
I think about, you know,sometimes when my son comes home
, my own son comes home and likehis hair looks all crazy and
like he needs a haircut andobviously he hasn't showered.
Are you describing my son oryour son?
Both you know, and he's like,and he walks in with a huge tub
of you know laundry and and it'slike, how do I greet him?
(17:26):
Do I say nope, shower andhaircut first, get you know
before you walk in the door, um,or you know, no more laundry or
whatever.
Yay, you're here.
I mean I'm so excited to seehim, I run toward him, I give
him a big, huge hug.
I want to hear all abouteverything Good, bad, ugly, all
of it and I'm just so excited tobe with him and that he has
(17:51):
come to be with me.
So I just I love that youbrought up the prodigal son
story.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
That's such a great example.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Imagine that son.
Imagine how dirty and stinkyand probably long matted hair
and just yuck.
You know he must've been likein the worst condition.
And there's his dad and all youknow, all in his robes running
running toward him.
I love that picture so much.
(18:21):
That is an accurate picture ofwho God is.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah, definitely.
You know, I have really felt alot of hesitations in bringing
this up in our curriculum thatwe've written and classes we
have had, and, um, because thereis so much error that I have
attributed to it Certainly I'lljust confess that but that
people who love the Lord haveattributed to this idea of
(18:49):
repentance.
And you know, really, look atthis verse in Acts 3, 19.
It says again this is Acts 3,19.
Repent then, Okay, that's okay.
Repent for the end of the worldis near.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
No, no, no.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Repent then and turn to God.
Yes, so that?
Okay, what's the?
So that Repent then and turn toGod so that your sins may be
wiped out.
But that's not all.
Your sins will be wiped out.
I love that phrase Wiped outand it goes on.
So repent then and turn to Godso that your sins may be wiped
(19:27):
out, that times of refreshingmay come from the Lord.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Oh my gosh.
Why would I say no, I'm notgoing to repent?
Why would I say that I want mysins to be wiped out?
I want refreshing that comesstraight from the Lord.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Well, and when we look at this verse, there's,
there's two parts that are ours,and then the rest is God's.
So the first one is repent.
So that's our turning.
So that's really the same thingrepenting and turning.
That's our part, that's ouronly part, that's it.
That's our part.
(20:09):
After that, god does everything, god waits for us with
compassion to turn, and then therest is his.
He's the one that wipes out oursins.
We can't do that, we can't dothat at all.
And he's the one that bringstimes of refreshing.
(20:29):
That's his part.
We just have that one part toturn.
Turn to him, to go, go to him,turn to him.
So I just love thinking of that.
I don't have a whole list ofthings that I have to do and I I
can't do them anyway.
It's not my job, it's not myrole.
My job is to turn to God, andthen he does the rest and he
(20:54):
brings refreshment, and hebrings all the good things.
At that point, repentance is agift of refreshment, not a heavy
burden.
Not at all, not at all.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
What if we were to reframe our understanding of
repentance so that it alignswith the verses that we've been
speaking of Acts 319, thatrefreshment as that gift of
refreshment?
What if we were to just say,okay, Lord, maybe we need to
repent of our view of repentance?
I mean, Lord, I have had a viewof repentance that has limited
(21:32):
my participation in experiencingrefreshment from you and
participating in having my sinswiped out, you know, in an
ongoing way.
I mean, really, every day wehave a chance to make bazillions
of choices.
Do I really want to claim thatI am walking in total purity?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I don't think so, yeah, it's me too.
No, there's just no way we wecan't be perfect this side of
heaven.
So there's always somethinggoing on, there's always
something to work on with him,there's always a change that's
needed.
That's part of the journey, andit's a vital part of the
(22:14):
journey.
We don't want to miss it.
It's good, it's actually good.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Right.
I mean when I think about thetimes that I've worked on some
sort of a project, maybe a homeimprovement project or something
.
Working together, side by sidewith someone, forges a bond that
is not forged any other way.
I mean, I think of how, in thespring, my family and I, we
(22:40):
would go out to our property.
We had four acres and it waspretty much forest, but there
was a lot of manzanita and thatstuff's flammable and we want to
be fire safe, and so togetherwe would take out the weeds that
had grown up in the wholeproperty and we would take out
some of the manzanita and cutoff low branches from the pine
(23:03):
trees and together we would dothat.
It's like we were working onsomething together and that
brought us closer together.
And I think that's what God'sinviting us to do with him is
roll up our sleeves with him.
He's side by side, shoulder toshoulder with us, and let's
(23:25):
let's do some things that needdoing, heidi.
Let's do some things that aregoing to clear the way for
what's next.
I think that's a beautiful, abeautiful picture it is.
It absolutely is.
Our new theme in our communityis turning seasons turning
hearts and it's so wonderfulthis time of year.
(23:49):
Now where I live, we don't getturning as early as where
Christina lives.
The leaves don't turn hereuntil at least October seems
like, but I can anticipate thatthat's going to happen.
But we wanted to use thatpicture because here, when we're
entering fall, we see beauty asthe colors change and shift and
(24:13):
as things just.
They grow differently, theylook different, and that's what
repentance does.
It's a turning as well andthat's a turning from something
to something else, like theleaves are turning color.
There's beauty in that change.
There's beauty in that, as thetrees are letting go of the
leaves, it kind of is a pictureof releasing what's no longer
(24:37):
life-giving, and our hearts canturn as well and release the
hold that we've had on thingsthat aren't life-giving and we
can experience renewal as well.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yes, I grew up in Southern California, where fall
is not really there and if it'sthere it's very confused, like
there's one tree that you knowchanges color in November and
there's another one in December,and it was not the kind of fall
that you see in the oldmagazines and calendars.
(25:11):
I wanted to live somewhere thatlooked like fall in the fall,
and so when we moved to ColoradoI was so excited.
We moved here in the summerbefore school started.
I had a brand new teaching jobin the fall and it was so
exciting for me.
I was like what's going tohappen?
What's going to happen?
And of course we live at higherelevations, so that brought its
(25:34):
own changes and its ownpersonality, kind of.
But what I realized after thatfirst fall and over the years
was that there's a pattern herewhere we live.
There's certain trees thatbegin, there's certain shrubs
and vines that kind of begin,and then there's a pattern and
(25:56):
over the years I've been able tofollow that pattern and I can
anticipate it.
So the very, very first thingthat happens at the very
beginning of August is that ourtrees out in front we have these
big giant green leafy trees.
One of them is an ash tree andin the beginning of August there
(26:17):
are little tiny clumps ofleaves maybe just three in this
enormous tree that turn gold.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
In August, early August.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yes, and it's like it's really our first sign of
fall and nothing else happensfor a while and there aren't a
lot of clumps, it's just alittle.
You have to really look forthat change and I always get
excited.
It always happened when we weregetting ready to go back to
school and as a teacher, I wasexcited about the new year and
(26:50):
getting the kids ready andeverything, and that's always
been the first change.
And then there's other thingsthat happen that are happening.
Now we're almost in Septemberand it's beautiful, but I love
the pattern.
There was only one year whenthe pattern was completely
interrupted because ourtemperatures plummeted unusually
(27:11):
early and all the fall leavesjust dropped out of the trees
onto the street and into thegrass and it was over.
But that only happened once itwas very unusual.
Our normal is to have thiswonderful pattern of release and
renewal.
And then, you know, I wouldtalk with the kids when they
(27:33):
were little, because they wouldsay, mom, you know, everything
died, it's, it's all dead.
And I would say, no, no, no,it's not dead, it's sleeping.
Yeah, it's a good, good thingthat's happening.
And then, of course, you know,what comes out of fall is winter
and then spring again.
So there's that beauty in theseasons and that pattern as well
(27:55):
there.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Hosea 14, verses one and two, say return Israel to
the Lord, your God.
Your sins have been yourdownfall.
Take words with you, which isan interesting thing to say.
We won't go into that right now.
But it says take words with youin verse two and return to the
(28:17):
Lord.
Say to him forgive all our sinsand receive us graciously, that
we may offer the fruit of ourlips.
Wow, that's a compellingpassage, and when you think of
it in the context of the entirebook of Hosea, which is a very
(28:39):
heart-wrenching story on the onehand and beautiful love story
on the other, it's reallyinteresting.
God is calling each of us atany point in time, at every
point in time, to return Heidito the Lord, your God.
Return Christina.
Return Barbara.
Return Joy Lynn to the Lord,your God.
(28:59):
Take words with you, joy Lynnto the Lord, your God.
Yes, take words with you andreturn to the Lord, yes, and say
to him forgive all our sins andreceive us graciously.
I love that, because theywouldn't ask that if God wasn't
one who would receive themgraciously.
And God has recorded it for usin his eternal word.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
So we know.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And so I would love you listener, won't you consider
and reflect on what you mightneed to turn from right now?
And what you need to turn to?
I can tell you some of what weall need to turn to is a greater
alignment with the Lord and agreater awareness of his
(29:43):
presence.
Oh, my goodness, I know in thisseason I need to turn from
being so insistent on having myway.
I want my way in everything Ireally do, and God is like let
it go.
Let it go and see if what Ihave for you doesn't fill that
(30:05):
hole that you're trying to fillwith stuff or attitudes or
whatever that really arestumbling you, Heidi.
So I love that because I knowthat as I turn to him, so I love
that because I know that as Iturn to him, I'm promised in his
word that in Acts 319, thatrefreshing is going to come as I
(30:31):
turn to him, my sins will bewiped out and I won't have the
same kind of struggles that I'vebeen having.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Yeah, I love that invitation and, of course, I'm
thinking about myself.
As you're talking, heidi, youknow what do I need to turn from
in this season?
And right away a word comes upfor me.
You know, I'm dealing withbreast cancer in this season,
which is just something that Inever, ever, ever imagined that
(30:54):
I would have to deal with.
I'm kind of part of this thingnow, you know, have to deal with
.
I'm kind of part of this thingnow.
You know that I've just Ididn't knowingly walk into and I
had a really sweet time withthe Lord this week.
That started out several daysago after a really, really
difficult weekend physically.
I was feeling discouraged and Iwas feeling like, lord, are you
(31:20):
providing?
Are you like?
What's happening with you?
Where are you?
Um, how could you allow this?
You know, why didn't youshelter me from it?
Why didn't you take it away?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
I don't have a problem with that at all.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
No, and you know what ?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I don't have a problem with that at all.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
No, and you know what ?
It's very normal to say thosekinds of things to the Lord.
It's okay you, listening, mightbe dealing with something right
now where you're thinking Lord,how could you have allowed this
?
And then the other one thatcomes up for me that I said to
him is this is too hard, this istoo hard, I can't do it.
(32:01):
It's too hard.
And once I was just very, veryhonest with the Lord.
I had some private time withhim, which he obviously set up
for me because he knew that Ineeded that time with him.
And I let the tears fall and I,you know, was able to speak out
loud to the Lord, which alwayshelps me to kind of hear him and
(32:24):
get my thoughts straight.
Um, so I was able to do thatand he, how did he greet me?
He greeted me with compassionand I felt like his presence was
so strong, right there with me,and so we talked about all the
different ways that I needed tobe provided for and my family.
(32:46):
As I talked about that, eachthing that I brought up, I would
say but Lord this, but Lordthis.
But what about my husband?
But what about money?
But what about money?
But what about this?
I mean, I went kind of down anentire list and he had answers
for me, he had provision for me.
(33:08):
Things came up in my mind thathe has provided all along the
way so far, and not just one,you know, not just one provision
, for example, for my husband,but many provisions for him.
And he showed me.
He kept saying in my mind Iheard him say again and again I
provided for that, christina.
(33:29):
I did provide for that.
Look and see what I did.
I provided for that this wayand this way and this way.
So, when it came down to it,what I was really dealing with
after all of that was fear.
That's what I was reallydealing with, yeah, and the fear
(33:50):
was big and ugly andoverwhelming, and and he was
right there.
And so I said how will youprovide for the fear, lord?
And then he reminded me that hetalks about fear more than 365
times in his word and he says donot fear, for I am with you.
(34:13):
And so I felt like he wassaying to me I am providing for
your fear with myself, with mypresence.
My presence is with youconstantly, christina.
So when I look at this season,when I think about what's
happening, when I you know, whenI become afraid, I want to turn
(34:36):
away from fear.
Fear is not from God.
Afraid, I want to turn awayfrom fear.
Fear is not from God.
He takes care of everything.
He's not worried.
He's not.
He has a plan.
I want to turn away from fearand I want to turn away from the
lie that I can't do this, and Iwant to turn to everything that
(34:58):
God has to offer me in thisseason his presence, his peace,
his love.
You know his faithfulness.
And that's big.
That's really, really, reallybig.
This is big for me.
This is so big and I do getscared, and that's okay too.
It's okay to be scared, ofcourse.
(35:19):
But yeah, I just love the ideaof using this season to respond
to God's invitation to turn awayfrom fear.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Amen, amen.
You know, as you were talking,a verse popped into my mind, and
it's one we use a lot Isaiah 30, 18.
Yet the Lord longs to begracious to you.
Therefore, he will rise up toshow you compassion.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
The.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Lord's, the God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait forhim and again that's Isaiah 30,
18.
Well, we're going to have towrap up at this point, but we
want to talk for a moment firstabout how you, how I, how we can
begin an intentional turningaway from whatever it is God may
(36:06):
lay in our hearts to turn awayfrom and turn to him as well.
So practical ways to liverepentance daily.
It's not a bad word, it'srefreshing.
Yes, yeah.
So the first way is an honestprayer Lord, I've been clinging
to this, whatever it is, andname it.
(36:26):
I really think it's helpful toname it and then say confess, I
want to, I need to turn back toyou and experience me instead.
That's the first thing to do.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Honest prayer, that's the first thing.
Honest prayer, absolutely.
And then here's another ideascripture reflection, so
journaling and praying throughverses like Psalm 139, 23
through 24.
There are so many, so manybeautiful, beautiful verses that
(37:00):
you could choose.
Starting in the Psalms might bethe perfect place for you.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Definitely, definitely.
And the third thing and youknow this, really it can't be
understated If we were made inthe image of God and God is
triune, there's three get onecommunity.
We are also made in that image.
We need people, we need others,and so community, and through
(37:28):
community we can celebrate evenconfession and experience
support.
So really, those three things,an honest prayer.
I've been clinging to this Lord.
I want to turn to you.
Second, scripture reflection,praying through journaling,
through scripture, that is lifegiving.
And thirdly, community andthrough that, confession and
(37:52):
support.
Those are the ways to live.
That gets us started withliving repentance daily.
And it's not about shame.
If you feel shame in thisprocess, I want to urge you to
to state I am not a child ofshame, I am.
It's not from the Lord, it'sfrom the enemy, and to embrace
(38:15):
Instead.
I am the daughter of the Kingor I'm the son of the king and I
belong to him.
He has attributed to me allvalue and worth and I will walk
in that.
Yes.
And in Ezekiel 36, 26, he saysI will give you a new heart and
(38:36):
put a new spirit in you.
I just love that.
Oh, I love that he's alwaysdoing a new heart and put a new
spirit in you.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
I just love that.
Oh, I love that.
He's always doing a new thing,right?
So I'm going to go ahead andpray.
Lord Jesus, thank you for yourkindness that leads us to turn
back to you.
Thank you for your patience andyour mercy.
Help us, jesus, to let go ofwhat holds us back and turn our
(39:02):
hearts fully to you in Jesusname.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Amen, amen.
Yeah, we want to just be awareof the truth, and the truth is,
repentance isn't about shame,it's actually about hope and
relationship and refreshment.
Yes, if you want to just plungeinto a season of turning, a
season of the turning of leaves,a turning of the heart, to join
(39:32):
us during September, the firstmonth is free.
You can check it out atrevelationwithinorg.
Free, you can check it out atrevelationwithinorg.
But we have daily audios.
They're like usually threeminutes to six minutes long.
There is a workbook thatparallels those devotional
audios and then, weekly, we havestepping stones of turning.
(39:54):
Those are our gatherings once aweek and it's Wednesdays at
noon Pacific time.
But we also record it andthere's also going to be
interaction, of course, in thecommunity itself.
So we get that support and weget that encouragement that we
need to sustain a life ofrepentance, a life of obedience
(40:15):
and repentance.
Ooh, I said the obedience word.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
That's another word that we'll want to reframe in
the future.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yes, definitely.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Yeah, we are so glad that you've been here with us
today and we sure hope thatyou'll come back and join us for
our next episode of RevelationWomen On Go, go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, yeah, go Go.
See you next time.
(40:46):
Bye-bye for now.
See you next time.
Hi and welcome to our podcast, revelation Within On
the Go.
I'm Heidi Biles-Maepperson, oneof your hosts and the owner and
lead coach of theRevelationWithinorg ministry,
and I'm Christina Motley, yourother host, also a Revelation
Within coach and Heidi's partnerin all things Revelation within
(00:24):
.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
We are so happy to invite you to join us today for
this episode of Revelationwithin.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
On the go.
We're in sync for that one,that's okay.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
That's okay.
Our hearts are in sync.
Our hearts are in sync for thatone.
That's okay.
That's okay.
Our hearts are in sync.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Our hearts are in sync, yes definitely yes, well,
we are going to be sharing withyou some thoughts that we have
that kind of kick off our themein our private community.
So I think you'll see whatwe're talking about as we go on.
But before we start, I kind ofhave a confession.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Oh, oh, my goodness, oh, we're all ears, heidi,
everybody's leaning in.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Actually it is kind of vulnerable.
So I feel like you and I, ourministry, needs to kind of be
honest with everybody.
Repentance it's something we'vetiptoed around for 26 years
really, and it's easier to talkabout grace or joy or reward,
(01:45):
but without repentance thosethings don't really have any,
any meat to them.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
There's no foundation .
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, it's right, you're true, You're right.
I can be honest with you.
There was a ministry that wassimilar to Thin Within, when you
know, back in 2001 or so, thatused the word repentance a lot
and it became a very abusiveword.
(02:14):
And you know, the truth is,repentance isn't about shame at
all.
It's about freedom.
But I know I was impacted bythat um program and the way that
it impacted me.
To talk about repentance it wasmore fear of punishment if I
(02:37):
ate too much, or something likethat.
And so we're going to talkabout repentance, we're going to
go ahead and break our silence.
We're not going to hide from itanymore.
In fact, in our community we'respending a whole month and it's
not something that results inshame, it's not something that
(02:58):
results in us feeling beatendown when it's spoken of
biblically, and that's whatwe're going to do.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I love it.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yay, well, really at its heart.
Repentance is about turningback to the God who loves us,
away from counterfeit, comforts,counterfeit anything.
And so today, we're going totackle it head on.
Comforts counterfeit anything.
And so today, we're going totackle it head on.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yes, it's long overdue, we know, okay, yeah,
absolutely.
I love that you shared that,heidi, and I mean those of you
listening who have been walkingwith the Lord for a while, a
long time, even a short time.
You know what comes fromrepentance something so good, so
sweet, so life-giving and,heidi, I love that we're doing
(03:47):
this.
This repentance turning as thefall comes, as the leaves turn,
and I love that we'll be able todo that for the month of
September as we watch thingsturn in creation.
I think it's just going to bethe most beautiful, beautiful
time.
So thank you so much forsetting this up for us.
(04:09):
We are ready.
I'm excited.
I've I've told a couple peopleyou know about it that I'm
coaching, and they're justexcited too.
They're like oh, that soundsfantastic, so let's jump in with
two feet.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah, sounds good.
You know, for the past fewmonths our themes have focused
on listening, resting in theLord, being still with him, and
then August's theme wasbasically a celebration of all
God does.
It's gratitude theme.
And it's interesting because,as I was considering and praying
(04:46):
about what September's themewould be and speaking with Joy
Lynn, who's also a part of ourRevelation Within team, she and
I both landed on the same.
You know, we're aware of God'sgoodness afresh because of
gratitude and as we are aware ofhis goodness, to us it just
(05:07):
seems like it's a greatprogression.
It continues that rest theme,that peace in him and that
celebratory gratitude.
Thank you, god.
And now it's like, oh, I'm leftwith me and standing before a
holy God and he wants toencourage my heart, he wants to
(05:30):
lift us up.
Anyway, we're going to kind oflaunch out of, but from Romans 2
, verse 4.
So Romans, chapter 2, verse 4.
And this is really the heart ofrepentance.
Go ahead and read that phrase,christina, I would love to God's
kindness is intended to leadyou to repentance.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
What is this really about?
This is really aboutrelationship.
This is really about us and theLord in those quiet moments
when it's just the two of us.
Like you said, heidi, it's aturning toward him and it's
really him drawing us in closerto his own heart, and there's
(06:17):
growth there and there's lifethere and there's change there
and there's breaking ofstrongholds there and it's God's
kindness that leads us.
I love that.
I love thinking of repentanceas God leading me with kindness
and inviting me.
It's an invitation inviting mecloser to him and to walk more
(06:41):
closely with him, to him and towalk more closely with him.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
It's not about groveling or or punishment, but
it's about turning turning fromwhat is fading, turning to what
is eternal and, and even morethan that, turning from what is
not life-giving turning to whatreally is life-giving and that's
(07:06):
, you know, what the Lord has inmind for us.
I just want to read that entireverse in context.
Okay, great Romans 2, verse 4.
Do you show contempt for theriches of his kindness,
forbearance and patience, notrealizing that God's kindness is
(07:27):
intended to lead you torepentance?
Wow, I mean, when you look atthe first part of that verse the
riches of his kindness,forbearance and patience.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yes, wow, riches, riches, riches and that is
intended to lead me torepentance.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Wow, riches, riches.
And that is intended to lead meto repentance.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Right and I, if there are riches there and a
closeness with the Lord thatdoesn't come in another way, I
don't want to miss it.
I don't want to miss one littletiny minute of that.
I want to be right in there,close to the Lord and being
vulnerable and honest and readyto turn.
(08:09):
I just oh, I love, love it, andI feel like the timing is so
good for us to do this afterwhat we have talked about in our
community for the last fewmonths.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
And in our podcasts too, from shame to shalom.
Yes, and we have our classstarting in September from shame
to shalom, and we're going toplunge in for eight weeks as
well.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
But you know, it's interesting because the whole
idea of repentance has carriedwith it.
For me, this head hanging downand I feel bad and it's almost
like this morose thing andthat's not biblical.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
No, not at all.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Do you have any examples of how you felt that
way?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Oh, yeah, I mean, I felt that way for decades.
I was especially with my issueswith food and eating and body
image.
I mean I just thought shamemust go with repentance, guilt
and fear and all those awfulthings.
Fear of punishment what aboutperformance?
I thought that was all wrappedin with repentance.
(09:21):
And I've talked about before themany, many stacks of journals
that I filled up with shame andguilt and fear and just all of
those things, and it didn't drawme closer to the Lord.
It wasn't.
It didn't bring life, it didn'tbring anything new, it didn't
(09:42):
help me to see what I could dodifferently.
There wasn't change there.
It was always the same, alwaysthe same.
I knew that I was somehow offon this subject and here I had
been a Christian since I was alittle girl and Bible studies
and church and reading all kindsof scripture.
But I still knew something'soff here because it didn't line
(10:04):
up with who God is.
You know, god is a God ofchange and life and always good
for us, always working for us togrow, and so I didn't realize,
I didn't understand thatrepentance is something
beautiful and it leads to evenmore closeness with the Lord.
(10:28):
Yeah, it's not about fear ofpunishment.
It's not about performance andit's certainly not about shame.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Right, right.
And I know, connected to all ofthat, the journals that we
would write because I did thatas well where you know, just
pouring out, oh my gosh, I feelso bad, bad, bad bad bad.
I thought I could hate myselfinto some sort of positive
change.
Okay, If I feel bad enough, ifI really work myself into this
awful lather, that maybe I wouldstop misbehaving.
(11:01):
maybe and I did, I would phraseit as misbehaving.
Misbehaving, maybe, and I did,I would phrase it as misbehaving
disobedience.
And yeah, sometimes it is.
But I could not hate myself inthe positive change.
It never once worked and reallywhat that does is it shows me
my thoughts about who God is andwhat he was like were
misaligned.
(11:21):
They weren't aligned with whatis true.
When I look at the word of Godand what it says about what God
is like and how God has chosento reveal himself in scripture,
I mean it's amazing all of thekindness and love and grace and
mercy and long suffering, and Imean the list goes on and on.
(11:44):
Yes there are points where Godis filled with wrath towards sin
and evil.
Yes, but he also has chosen usbefore the foundation of the
world to be holy and blamelessin his sight.
In love, he predestined us tobe adopted as his children.
Yes, and that's what heattributes to us because of
(12:05):
Christ, which is a beautifulplace to be.
Very, and that's what I want toremember.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yes, it's a.
It's a place that leads torelease, return and realignment.
I love those re's.
Yes, me too.
Yeah, it's no, I mean me too,heidi, all those years of trying
to hate myself into positivechange and I know so many of you
(12:34):
listening can relate to that.
It's very much, it's verycommon.
It's something that many of ustry to do for years and it
doesn't get us anywhere.
The change doesn't come, and weget so discouraged because we
don't know what else to do, andso we just keep on in the same
patterns.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
We want to get out of that pattern.
We want to see repentance forwhat it is from God's word
Mm-hmm.
And I really love our mindrenewal tool look and learn is
exactly that.
It is going to God and agreeingwith him that this isn't what I
want the looking part, thisisn't what I wanted for my life
and I know it's not what youwanted for my life.
(13:23):
You don't want me to keeplooking in all of these life
sucking places for fulfillmentor the answers or whatever it
might be.
You want me to do somethingdifferent.
So, bringing it to God that'sthe look part and agreeing with
him and then asking him whatwould you have me learn from
(13:43):
that misstep, that stumble, thatsin?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
as it were.
What?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
can I learn from that ?
And that's a very differentquestion and a different
approach.
How can I beat myself up enough, which is not a God
characteristic.
How can I beat myself up enoughthat I'll stop it, that I'll
just stop it.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Stop it Right, exactly Well.
And it helps me so much toremember how God greets me every
time.
Every time I turn to him, hisgreeting is the same it's
compassion, it's joy.
It's joy, it's excitement.
You know, it's patience andlove and tenderness.
(14:22):
He does not greet me withcondemnation.
There is no condemnation inChrist.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Romans 8, 1, right.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
It helps me to think of it that way Romans 8, 1,
right, it helps me to think ofit that way.
When I turn to him, when I'mrunning to him, he is greeting
me with his love, and it'slimitless love.
It's not even love that we canimagine.
It's love that goes on beyondthe skies.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yes, it just goes and goes, it does.
It makes me think of the storyin Luke, chapter 15, of the
prodigal son.
The prodigal son, as soon as hegot himself up out of that pig
pit and came running, and he didnot clean himself up first, I
am reasonably confident.
When the father saw him coming,what did he do?
(15:10):
Did he, you know, say no way,I'm not going to embrace this.
At the very least, cleanyourself up first.
No no, the father did somethingvery undignified at the time.
You know for those times andplaces and his stature in the,
in the society he ran.
Can you?
(15:31):
Just picture that I picturedthis older guy kind of hiking up
his robe over his knee.
Oh my gosh, what a wonderfulgreeting that must be.
That is our God.
That's an example.
Jesus wanted us to see that asa picture of what God is like
(15:52):
when we turn back to him.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Wow, wow, well, and there's so, so many examples of
Jesus's interaction with peoplein the New Testament.
That is like that.
You know.
I just would encourage you, ifyou're not sure about this, if
you're not sure how God greets,you, go into the New Testament
and read those stories.
(16:16):
How does he greet the peoplethat turn to him?
Yeah, always with love, alwayswith compassion, like a best
friend.
You know, I think about that.
Heidi and her husband are goingto come and visit me in a
little bit here and I'm soexcited about that and I'm
(16:37):
imagining Heidi and me justrunning.
You know it's, and the way thatwe'll greet each other is just
going to be awesome and I thinkabout that with the Lord.
He is our best friend.
He is our heavenly, loving,tender father.
He is like our closest brotherand that's how he greets us.
(17:03):
I think about, you know,sometimes when my son comes home
, my own son comes home and likehis hair looks all crazy and
like he needs a haircut andobviously he hasn't showered.
Are you describing my son oryour son?
Both you know, and he's like,and he walks in with a huge tub
of you know laundry and and it'slike, how do I greet him?
(17:26):
Do I say nope, shower andhaircut first, get you know
before you walk in the door, um,or you know, no more laundry or
whatever.
Yay, you're here.
I mean I'm so excited to seehim, I run toward him, I give
him a big, huge hug.
I want to hear all abouteverything Good, bad, ugly, all
of it and I'm just so excited tobe with him and that he has
(17:51):
come to be with me.
So I just I love that youbrought up the prodigal son
story.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
That's such a great example.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Imagine that son.
Imagine how dirty and stinkyand probably long matted hair
and just yuck.
You know he must've been likein the worst condition.
And there's his dad and all youknow, all in his robes running
running toward him.
I love that picture so much.
(18:21):
That is an accurate picture ofwho God is.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah, definitely.
You know, I have really felt alot of hesitations in bringing
this up in our curriculum thatwe've written and classes we
have had, and, um, because thereis so much error that I have
attributed to it Certainly I'lljust confess that but that
people who love the Lord haveattributed to this idea of
(18:49):
repentance.
And you know, really, look atthis verse in Acts 3, 19.
It says again this is Acts 3,19.
Repent then, Okay, that's okay.
Repent for the end of the worldis near.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
No, no, no.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Repent then and turn to God.
Yes, so that?
Okay, what's the?
So that Repent then and turn toGod so that your sins may be
wiped out.
But that's not all.
Your sins will be wiped out.
I love that phrase Wiped outand it goes on.
So repent then and turn to Godso that your sins may be wiped
(19:27):
out, that times of refreshingmay come from the Lord.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Oh my gosh.
Why would I say no, I'm notgoing to repent?
Why would I say that I want mysins to be wiped out?
I want refreshing that comesstraight from the Lord.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Well, and when we look at this verse, there's,
there's two parts that are ours,and then the rest is God's.
So the first one is repent.
So that's our turning.
So that's really the same thingrepenting and turning.
That's our part, that's ouronly part, that's it.
That's our part.
(20:09):
After that, god does everything, god waits for us with
compassion to turn, and then therest is his.
He's the one that wipes out oursins.
We can't do that, we can't dothat at all.
And he's the one that bringstimes of refreshing.
(20:29):
That's his part.
We just have that one part toturn.
Turn to him, to go, go to him,turn to him.
So I just love thinking of that.
I don't have a whole list ofthings that I have to do and I I
can't do them anyway.
It's not my job, it's not myrole.
My job is to turn to God, andthen he does the rest and he
(20:54):
brings refreshment, and hebrings all the good things.
At that point, repentance is agift of refreshment, not a heavy
burden.
Not at all, not at all.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
What if we were to reframe our understanding of
repentance so that it alignswith the verses that we've been
speaking of Acts 319, thatrefreshment as that gift of
refreshment?
What if we were to just say,okay, Lord, maybe we need to
repent of our view of repentance?
I mean, Lord, I have had a viewof repentance that has limited
(21:32):
my participation in experiencingrefreshment from you and
participating in having my sinswiped out, you know, in an
ongoing way.
I mean, really, every day wehave a chance to make bazillions
of choices.
Do I really want to claim thatI am walking in total purity?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I don't think so, yeah, it's me too.
No, there's just no way we wecan't be perfect this side of
heaven.
So there's always somethinggoing on, there's always
something to work on with him,there's always a change that's
needed.
That's part of the journey, andit's a vital part of the
(22:14):
journey.
We don't want to miss it.
It's good, it's actually good.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Right.
I mean when I think about thetimes that I've worked on some
sort of a project, maybe a homeimprovement project or something
.
Working together, side by sidewith someone, forges a bond that
is not forged any other way.
I mean, I think of how, in thespring, my family and I, we
(22:40):
would go out to our property.
We had four acres and it waspretty much forest, but there
was a lot of manzanita and thatstuff's flammable and we want to
be fire safe, and so togetherwe would take out the weeds that
had grown up in the wholeproperty and we would take out
some of the manzanita and cutoff low branches from the pine
(23:03):
trees and together we would dothat.
It's like we were working onsomething together and that
brought us closer together.
And I think that's what God'sinviting us to do with him is
roll up our sleeves with him.
He's side by side, shoulder toshoulder with us, and let's
(23:25):
let's do some things that needdoing, heidi.
Let's do some things that aregoing to clear the way for
what's next.
I think that's a beautiful, abeautiful picture it is.
It absolutely is.
Our new theme in our communityis turning seasons turning
hearts and it's so wonderfulthis time of year.
(23:49):
Now where I live, we don't getturning as early as where
Christina lives.
The leaves don't turn hereuntil at least October seems
like, but I can anticipate thatthat's going to happen.
But we wanted to use thatpicture because here, when we're
entering fall, we see beauty asthe colors change and shift and
(24:13):
as things just.
They grow differently, theylook different, and that's what
repentance does.
It's a turning as well andthat's a turning from something
to something else, like theleaves are turning color.
There's beauty in that change.
There's beauty in that, as thetrees are letting go of the
leaves, it kind of is a pictureof releasing what's no longer
(24:37):
life-giving, and our hearts canturn as well and release the
hold that we've had on thingsthat aren't life-giving and we
can experience renewal as well.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yes, I grew up in Southern California, where fall
is not really there and if it'sthere it's very confused, like
there's one tree that you knowchanges color in November and
there's another one in December,and it was not the kind of fall
that you see in the oldmagazines and calendars.
(25:11):
I wanted to live somewhere thatlooked like fall in the fall,
and so when we moved to ColoradoI was so excited.
We moved here in the summerbefore school started.
I had a brand new teaching jobin the fall and it was so
exciting for me.
I was like what's going tohappen?
What's going to happen?
And of course we live at higherelevations, so that brought its
(25:34):
own changes and its ownpersonality, kind of.
But what I realized after thatfirst fall and over the years
was that there's a pattern herewhere we live.
There's certain trees thatbegin, there's certain shrubs
and vines that kind of begin,and then there's a pattern and
(25:56):
over the years I've been able tofollow that pattern and I can
anticipate it.
So the very, very first thingthat happens at the very
beginning of August is that ourtrees out in front we have these
big giant green leafy trees.
One of them is an ash tree andin the beginning of August there
(26:17):
are little tiny clumps ofleaves maybe just three in this
enormous tree that turn gold.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
In August, early August.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yes, and it's like it's really our first sign of
fall and nothing else happensfor a while and there aren't a
lot of clumps, it's just alittle.
You have to really look forthat change and I always get
excited.
It always happened when we weregetting ready to go back to
school and as a teacher, I wasexcited about the new year and
(26:50):
getting the kids ready andeverything, and that's always
been the first change.
And then there's other thingsthat happen that are happening.
Now we're almost in Septemberand it's beautiful, but I love
the pattern.
There was only one year whenthe pattern was completely
interrupted because ourtemperatures plummeted unusually
(27:11):
early and all the fall leavesjust dropped out of the trees
onto the street and into thegrass and it was over.
But that only happened once itwas very unusual.
Our normal is to have thiswonderful pattern of release and
renewal.
And then, you know, I wouldtalk with the kids when they
(27:33):
were little, because they wouldsay, mom, you know, everything
died, it's, it's all dead.
And I would say, no, no, no,it's not dead, it's sleeping.
Yeah, it's a good, good thingthat's happening.
And then, of course, you know,what comes out of fall is winter
and then spring again.
So there's that beauty in theseasons and that pattern as well
(27:55):
there.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Hosea 14, verses one and two, say return Israel to
the Lord, your God.
Your sins have been yourdownfall.
Take words with you, which isan interesting thing to say.
We won't go into that right now.
But it says take words with youin verse two and return to the
(28:17):
Lord.
Say to him forgive all our sinsand receive us graciously, that
we may offer the fruit of ourlips.
Wow, that's a compellingpassage, and when you think of
it in the context of the entirebook of Hosea, which is a very
(28:39):
heart-wrenching story on the onehand and beautiful love story
on the other, it's reallyinteresting.
God is calling each of us atany point in time, at every
point in time, to return Heidito the Lord, your God.
Return Christina.
Return Barbara.
Return Joy Lynn to the Lord,your God.
(28:59):
Take words with you, joy Lynnto the Lord, your God.
Yes, take words with you andreturn to the Lord, yes, and say
to him forgive all our sins andreceive us graciously.
I love that, because theywouldn't ask that if God wasn't
one who would receive themgraciously.
And God has recorded it for usin his eternal word.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
So we know.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And so I would love you listener, won't you consider
and reflect on what you mightneed to turn from right now?
And what you need to turn to?
I can tell you some of what weall need to turn to is a greater
alignment with the Lord and agreater awareness of his
(29:43):
presence.
Oh, my goodness, I know in thisseason I need to turn from
being so insistent on having myway.
I want my way in everything Ireally do, and God is like let
it go.
Let it go and see if what Ihave for you doesn't fill that
(30:05):
hole that you're trying to fillwith stuff or attitudes or
whatever that really arestumbling you, Heidi.
So I love that because I knowthat as I turn to him, so I love
that because I know that as Iturn to him, I'm promised in his
word that in Acts 319, thatrefreshing is going to come as I
(30:31):
turn to him, my sins will bewiped out and I won't have the
same kind of struggles that I'vebeen having.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Yeah, I love that invitation and, of course, I'm
thinking about myself.
As you're talking, heidi, youknow what do I need to turn from
in this season?
And right away a word comes upfor me.
You know, I'm dealing withbreast cancer in this season,
which is just something that Inever, ever, ever imagined that
(30:54):
I would have to deal with.
I'm kind of part of this thingnow, you know, have to deal with
.
I'm kind of part of this thingnow.
You know that I've just Ididn't knowingly walk into and I
had a really sweet time withthe Lord this week.
That started out several daysago after a really, really
difficult weekend physically.
I was feeling discouraged and Iwas feeling like, lord, are you
(31:20):
providing?
Are you like?
What's happening with you?
Where are you?
Um, how could you allow this?
You know, why didn't youshelter me from it?
Why didn't you take it away?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
I don't have a problem with that at all.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
No, and you know what ?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I don't have a problem with that at all.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
No, and you know what ?
It's very normal to say thosekinds of things to the Lord.
It's okay you, listening, mightbe dealing with something right
now where you're thinking Lord,how could you have allowed this
?
And then the other one thatcomes up for me that I said to
him is this is too hard, this istoo hard, I can't do it.
(32:01):
It's too hard.
And once I was just very, veryhonest with the Lord.
I had some private time withhim, which he obviously set up
for me because he knew that Ineeded that time with him.
And I let the tears fall and I,you know, was able to speak out
loud to the Lord, which alwayshelps me to kind of hear him and
(32:24):
get my thoughts straight.
Um, so I was able to do thatand he, how did he greet me?
He greeted me with compassionand I felt like his presence was
so strong, right there with me,and so we talked about all the
different ways that I needed tobe provided for and my family.
(32:46):
As I talked about that, eachthing that I brought up, I would
say but Lord this, but Lordthis.
But what about my husband?
But what about money?
But what about money?
But what about this?
I mean, I went kind of down anentire list and he had answers
for me, he had provision for me.
(33:08):
Things came up in my mind thathe has provided all along the
way so far, and not just one,you know, not just one provision
, for example, for my husband,but many provisions for him.
And he showed me.
He kept saying in my mind Iheard him say again and again I
provided for that, christina.
(33:29):
I did provide for that.
Look and see what I did.
I provided for that this wayand this way and this way.
So, when it came down to it,what I was really dealing with
after all of that was fear.
That's what I was reallydealing with, yeah, and the fear
(33:50):
was big and ugly andoverwhelming, and and he was
right there.
And so I said how will youprovide for the fear, lord?
And then he reminded me that hetalks about fear more than 365
times in his word and he says donot fear, for I am with you.
(34:13):
And so I felt like he wassaying to me I am providing for
your fear with myself, with mypresence.
My presence is with youconstantly, christina.
So when I look at this season,when I think about what's
happening, when I you know, whenI become afraid, I want to turn
(34:36):
away from fear.
Fear is not from God.
Afraid, I want to turn awayfrom fear.
Fear is not from God.
He takes care of everything.
He's not worried.
He's not.
He has a plan.
I want to turn away from fearand I want to turn away from the
lie that I can't do this, and Iwant to turn to everything that
(34:58):
God has to offer me in thisseason his presence, his peace,
his love.
You know his faithfulness.
And that's big.
That's really, really, reallybig.
This is big for me.
This is so big and I do getscared, and that's okay too.
It's okay to be scared, ofcourse.
(35:19):
But yeah, I just love the ideaof using this season to respond
to God's invitation to turn awayfrom fear.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Amen, amen.
You know, as you were talking,a verse popped into my mind, and
it's one we use a lot Isaiah 30, 18.
Yet the Lord longs to begracious to you.
Therefore, he will rise up toshow you compassion.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
The.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Lord's, the God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait forhim and again that's Isaiah 30,
18.
Well, we're going to have towrap up at this point, but we
want to talk for a moment firstabout how you, how I, how we can
begin an intentional turningaway from whatever it is God may
(36:06):
lay in our hearts to turn awayfrom and turn to him as well.
So practical ways to liverepentance daily.
It's not a bad word, it'srefreshing.
Yes, yeah.
So the first way is an honestprayer Lord, I've been clinging
to this, whatever it is, andname it.
(36:26):
I really think it's helpful toname it and then say confess, I
want to, I need to turn back toyou and experience me instead.
That's the first thing to do.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Honest prayer, that's the first thing.
Honest prayer, absolutely.
And then here's another ideascripture reflection, so
journaling and praying throughverses like Psalm 139, 23
through 24.
There are so many, so manybeautiful, beautiful verses that
(37:00):
you could choose.
Starting in the Psalms might bethe perfect place for you.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Definitely, definitely.
And the third thing and youknow this, really it can't be
understated If we were made inthe image of God and God is
triune, there's three get onecommunity.
We are also made in that image.
We need people, we need others,and so community, and through
(37:28):
community we can celebrate evenconfession and experience
support.
So really, those three things,an honest prayer.
I've been clinging to this Lord.
I want to turn to you.
Second, scripture reflection,praying through journaling,
through scripture, that is lifegiving.
And thirdly, community andthrough that, confession and
(37:52):
support.
Those are the ways to live.
That gets us started withliving repentance daily.
And it's not about shame.
If you feel shame in thisprocess, I want to urge you to
to state I am not a child ofshame, I am.
It's not from the Lord, it'sfrom the enemy, and to embrace
(38:15):
Instead.
I am the daughter of the Kingor I'm the son of the king and I
belong to him.
He has attributed to me allvalue and worth and I will walk
in that.
Yes.
And in Ezekiel 36, 26, he saysI will give you a new heart and
(38:36):
put a new spirit in you.
I just love that.
Oh, I love that he's alwaysdoing a new heart and put a new
spirit in you.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
I just love that.
Oh, I love that.
He's always doing a new thing,right?
So I'm going to go ahead andpray.
Lord Jesus, thank you for yourkindness that leads us to turn
back to you.
Thank you for your patience andyour mercy.
Help us, jesus, to let go ofwhat holds us back and turn our
(39:02):
hearts fully to you in Jesusname.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Amen, amen.
Yeah, we want to just be awareof the truth, and the truth is,
repentance isn't about shame,it's actually about hope and
relationship and refreshment.
Yes, if you want to just plungeinto a season of turning, a
season of the turning of leaves,a turning of the heart, to join
(39:32):
us during September, the firstmonth is free.
You can check it out atrevelationwithinorg.
Free, you can check it out atrevelationwithinorg.
But we have daily audios.
They're like usually threeminutes to six minutes long.
There is a workbook thatparallels those devotional
audios and then, weekly, we havestepping stones of turning.
(39:54):
Those are our gatherings once aweek and it's Wednesdays at
noon Pacific time.
But we also record it andthere's also going to be
interaction, of course, in thecommunity itself.
So we get that support and weget that encouragement that we
need to sustain a life ofrepentance, a life of obedience
(40:15):
and repentance.
Ooh, I said the obedience word.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
That's another word that we'll want to reframe in
the future.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yes, definitely.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Yeah, we are so glad that you've been here with us
today and we sure hope thatyou'll come back and join us for
our next episode of RevelationWomen On Go, go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, yeah, go Go.
See you next time.
(40:46):
Bye-bye for now.
See you next time.
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