February 26, 2025 • 38 mins
In this episode of the Revelation Within On the Go podcast, Heidi and Christina explore the profound impact of biblical truths, revealing the unbreakable bond we share with God through Jesus’ sacrifice. Reflecting on passages from Ephesians and Romans, they celebrate our secure identity in Christ and the peace granted by the Holy Spirit as a seal of promise. Addressing the deep-seated human fear of separation from God, they challenge misconceptions linked to sin and emotional struggles, such as eating disorders. Through personal stories and biblical insights, they highlight the difference between feelings and Scriptural truths, emphasizing the unshakable nature of God’s love and grace. You are encouraged to renew your mind with God’s promises, create a “God list” to reshape perceptions, and embrace your identity defined by Christ’s love for a transformative relationship with God.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi and welcome to our podcast Revelation Within On
the Go.
I'm Heidi Biles-Maepperson, oneof your hosts and the owner and
lead coach of theRevelationWithinorg ministry.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within.
We are so happy to invite youto join us for this episode of
Revelation Within on the go.
We both went in the samedirection that time.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yes, definitely.
Well, Christina and I weretalking this week about just
this and that ministry things,coaching and so on and we both
kind of landed on a concern thatwe think is from God.
Right, Don't?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
we yes.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
So let's describe for a minute what we have observed,
and then we'll launch into whatwe hope for the people that
we've observed this about, andwe've both been in this camp, so
yeah, well, I was just going tosay I can observe my own
experience looking back.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yeah, so you know, many of you know that I have
been a Christian since I was alittle girl and then made a
solid decision for Christ as ateenager and have been in the
Word and gone to church andBible study and all the
different things, the retreats,and had daily time with the Lord
and all of those things for along, long time and it's
(01:37):
wonderful and I love that that'sa part of my life.
So when I was a teenager, Istarted into the patterns of
disordered eating and thingsjust got more and more intense
with that.
And I've talked about thatbefore.
Being raised in the Los Angelesarea and just the pressures
there and also having a mom whohad some real struggles with
(02:01):
food and eating there were a lotof things that contributed to
it.
But I found myself getting inthis pattern.
I didn't notice it right away,you know how.
You just don't really see itright away.
I don't think I noticed it forquite a long time, but it did
start, probably 16, 17.
So I would eat when I wasn'thungry, I would overeat, I would
(02:22):
have a binge or whatever youwant to call it, and then I felt
like I had pushed God away.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
That's a really common feeling too.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, and honestly, I didn't feel this way about
other areas in my life which isso interesting to me.
I would get in a fight with myboyfriend or I would mess
something up with school, get abad grade or whatever it was, or
make a decision that wasn'tbeing a good friend or something
(02:54):
like that, and I didn't feelthe same way.
I didn't feel like I waspushing God away Like in every
other issue.
I felt like I could go to himand say help me with this Lord.
I'm struggling, but forwhatever reason I'm not quite
sure why, but I do know that alot of people say this too with
food and eating and my bodyimage I felt like I was pushing
(03:16):
him away.
When I was eating, when Iwasn't hungry, overeating,
eating for emotional reasons,whatever I was eating for wasn't
hungry, overeating, eating foremotional reasons, whatever I
was eating for, and that feltawful.
It was very real to me.
I thought that that was truth.
I thought that I was pushinghim away.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
That's a really good example of when our feelings
tell us what is true and theylie.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yes, and I used to journal constantly when I was
younger, in my 20s, and, oh mygoodness, and I would journal
all of this out and it lookedkind of the same every single
time and I was just like I'msorry, I'm sorry, god, I'm sorry
I blew it again.
I blew it again.
Why can't I get this, why won'tyou fix me?
(04:05):
And it just kind of it was likeI was renewing my mind in a way
that was causing me to go down,down, down, and it was also what
was coming out of that was thatI hated myself.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I was mad at myself all the time, secretly in my
mind, in my own thoughts.
I didn't articulate it, Ididn't talk to anybody about
this.
I just kept going on more diets.
So, we talked about diets a lot, my friends and I and exercise
programs or going to the gym,that kind of thing.
But my thoughts were extremelycondemning and I thought you
(04:49):
know what am I doing?
I'm ruining my relationshipwith God.
A lot of people do.
I mean, it was just.
It was an awful feeling.
I thought this is my fault, I'mmessing this up, I'm ruining my
relationship with God and Idon't feel like I've heard
(05:10):
something like this so muchuntil recently.
I feel like the last few monthsI'm hearing it a lot from
people who are coming to us atRevelation Within.
What do you think, Heidi?
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, I know that I used to hear it quite a bit when
I would coach one-on-one, whenwe had a community on Facebook
and before that when we had theforums in the old days of you
know, people would say I feellike I'm letting God down.
I just can't stand the way I dothis.
He must be so disappointed withme.
(05:42):
I must grieve him so much.
And it's like they have thisfeeling, like you described, as
though God turns his back onthem.
When they're out of line insome way, when they're not
aligned with him, they feel likeGod turns their back, and so is
that a biblical principle.
(06:02):
Let's evaluate that for aminute before we actually go to
some scriptures.
What is true of us?
Well, we're going to get tothis with the scriptures as well
.
But I mean, can I be separatedfrom God by my sin?
If I am in Christ, if I haveopened my heart to what Christ
(06:25):
did on the cross for me, if Ihave allowed his blood to be
applied to my sin and my shame,and I mean, is that a one and
done thing, or do I breakfellowship with him?
Do I cause him to turn awayfrom me when I sin?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, and there's another area, too, that just
comes to mind right now, whereI'm seeing this, because I'm in
my mid fifties, so a lot of myfriends are around my age some
of them, you know and we're allin this season where we're
launching kids or have launchedkids, or are kind of in the
middle of it or wishing theywould launch.
(07:04):
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Or there are some of us who have boomerang babies who
come back again.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yes, yes, and I'm hearing this from the moms that
are my age.
I'm hearing you know, my kidshave made these bad choices and
they have pushed God away.
And I'm hearing that from momstoo.
And it's like wait a minute,wait a minute, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
We need to get back intoscripture and see what's
(07:29):
actually true, not how we'refeeling Like I was talking to a
friend the other day who said Idon't know if my son is a
Christian anymore, and thatalways makes me so sad.
And it's not because he has saidthat he's not, it's not because
he has tried somethingdifferent and said goodbye to
(07:50):
this, nothing like that.
It's because of some decisionsthat he's made recently.
And it's like wait a minute,wait a minute.
Let's look at the word and seeCan we, can we push God away?
Do we push God away from uswhen we make a bad decision,
when we sin, when we go, turn toa counterfeit comfort?
(08:11):
Are we pushing him away?
So let's look at that, becauseI think it's on a lot of
people's minds right now.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Right, so we're going to dive in to.
We're going to start in Romans,chapter eight, in some selected
verses, from verses 31 to 38.
We're not going to read themall, we're going to skip a
little bit.
Christina, would you go aheadand do that for us?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
What then shall we say to these things?
If God is for us, who can beagainst us?
He who did not spare his ownson, but gave him up for us all,
how will he not also, with him,graciously give us all things?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
That's just such a beautiful verse.
It's verse 31 and 32 of Romans8.
And really think about it.
God held nothing back.
Held nothing back.
He didn't hold back thegreatest sacrifice, his own son,
because he wanted intimacy withus when we were so far away
(09:13):
from him already he spared noexpense to bring us close.
Does that sound like a ficklesort of love.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
It does not, not so far.
Let's see what else we've got.
Yeah, okay, verse 35,.
Who shall separate us from thelove of Christ?
This is one of my absolutefavorite verses, especially when
I'm thinking about things thatI've done and things that my
kids have done.
Shall tribulation or distressor persecution or famine or
(09:47):
nakedness or danger or sword,and you add in your own or what
can I separate me from the loveof Christ?
Speaker 1 (09:56):
You know the implication here.
It's a rhetorical question.
The implication is no, theanswer is no, and Paul later on
tells us that Can anything keepme from the love of Christ?
Once I'm in Christ, cananything keep me from that love?
Can I be separated?
(10:18):
Go ahead and read on yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
So the answer is no, and it starts with no.
In all these things, we aremore than conquerors, through
him who loved us, for I am surethat neither death nor life, nor
angels, nor rulers, nor thingspresent, nor things to come, nor
powers, nor height, nor depth,nor anything else in all
(10:46):
creation will be able toseparate us from the love of God
in Christ Jesus, our Lord.
There it is, there it is there.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
It is Now many of us.
We might go okay, well, that'swhat it says there, but
elsewhere in scripture it sayssomething else.
But what we have to do is becautious.
Says something else.
But what we have to do is becautious.
When Jesus came, heaccomplished something once and
for all, for all men and women,for all time, any who would
allow him to.
He bridged that gap.
(11:16):
He gave his body, he gave hisblood, he gave himself.
He who knew no sin became sinfor us, so that in him we might
what Become the righteousness ofGod.
I don't have that referencewritten down or in my mind
anywhere, but I think it's in 1Peter.
But I could be wrong.
In any event, we have become therighteousness of God because he
(11:40):
became sin for us.
I think it's fascinating if wego on and look at Ephesians.
In Ephesians chapter two, we'retold we were dead in trespasses
and sins, and then verse fourgoes on and says but God.
I love those words, I lovethose words.
When we see a but God, there'sa contrast coming.
(12:02):
Yes, I was dead in trespassesand sins.
I was as far away from God as Icould have been, but God.
And it goes on to say in versefour of Ephesians, chapter two
but God being rich in mercy.
Because of what?
Because of me, because I was agood girl for a minute.
(12:22):
No, because of the great lovewith which he loved us, even
when Heidi was dead in hertrespasses, even when Christina
was dead in her trespasses, evenwhen we were dead in our
trespasses, god, who's rich inmercy, made us alive together
(12:43):
with Christ.
And we're reminded by grace youare saved.
And beyond that, he raised usup with Christ and seated us
with Christ in the heavenlyplaces.
In Christ Jesus.
That's verses.
Let's see four through six ofEphesians two.
(13:03):
This is amazing stuff.
There's so much here that wecould unpack, but we won't go
into it for very long because wehave other verses we want to
get into.
But I love that.
God is rich in mercy because ofhis great love, with which he
loved us.
He chose to love us.
And when did he choose to loveus?
(13:24):
Even when we were dead in ourtrespasses.
And what did he do?
He raised us up, made us alivetogether with Christ, seated us
with Christ in heavenly placesin Christ.
There's a lot of really goodnews there.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
It really really really is really good news there
.
It really really really is.
Okay.
Romans 5, 8 tells us that Goddemonstrates his love for us in
this, that while we were stillsinners just like you just said,
heidi he gave Jesus for us tobring us close.
So I mean, at that time we weresteeped in sin.
So I mean, at that time we weresteeped in sin.
(14:03):
We were sin.
Sin owned us.
It was our identity, it definedus, and that is when God chose
to come close.
He spared nothing to beintimate with us.
Wow, wow, so beautiful.
This is the truth from the wordof God.
This is who God is, not just.
(14:24):
Oh, I'm feeling this way.
Let's look at what is the truthfrom the word of God.
This is who God is, not just.
Oh, I'm feeling this way.
Let's look at what is the truth, what is true?
Yeah, ephesians 2, 12 and 13.
Remember that you were at thetime, separated from Christ,
alienated from the commonwealthof Israel and strangers to the
covenants of promise, having nohope and without God in the
(14:45):
world.
But now, in Christ Jesus, it'sright there, it's very clear,
there's no question.
It's not confusing.
It's right there for us.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
You could be in the middle of a binge, yes, and you
have been brought near to Christ.
Yes, you have been brought nearby the blood of Christ.
You could be in the middle ofthrowing up your meal.
I hate to say that, but it'strue.
And you are no longer separatedfrom Christ.
You were separated from Christbefore you came to him.
(15:27):
You were alienated from him.
You were strangers to thecovenants of promise.
You had no hope.
You were without God from him.
You were strangers to thecovenants of promise.
You had no hope.
You were without God in theworld.
It's all past tense though.
Yes, and then we have in verse13,.
But now, but now in ChristJesus, I want to get up and
dance around.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, let's do it, let's get up and dance around.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, let's do it, let's get up and dance around.
But now, even if you're binging, even if you're purging, even
if you're anythinging, christJesus has brought you close.
You, who were once far off,have been brought near.
And how Are you brought near?
By your behavior?
No, you can't lose it either.
It's by the blood of Christ.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Yes, and this is true for the people that we love
that are struggling.
This is true for your friend,for your cousin, for your
husband, for your kids.
This is true Once we are inChrist, it is a one and done, it
is a done deal.
Our identity now is in Christ.
Our identity, we are his,that's our identity.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
We are no longer owned and defined by sin, right.
And what is just so cool too,it says in Ephesians that we are
sealed with the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit is a seal.
And what does a seal do?
It keeps things stuck together,kind of closed, and it's like a
permanence of some sort.
If an envelope isn't sealed, itdoesn't feel secure.
If I'm not sealed in Christ,then I wouldn't be secure.
But I am sealed and it's notjust adhesive, it's the Holy
(17:10):
Spirit, it's God glue.
I am spiritually cling-wrappedto God with the Holy Spirit.
I mean, picture it.
Yeah, these are cling-wrapped.
Oh it's so good.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
It's such a relief because we mess up so much.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I know.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
It's such a relief to know that this reality, who we
are in Christ, is not dependenton how quote unquote good we are
.
Oh my gosh, what a relief.
That is right, right.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Oh, it is, it really is.
Colossians three three puts itthis way, for you have died and
your life is hidden with Christin God.
Somehow, I don't know what thismeans.
I kind of think of it as theTrinity, a similar sort of thing
.
It's not the Trinity, but it'slike I can't understand the
(18:00):
Trinity either.
What is true according to God,which is true truth it's
absolute truth doesn't alwaysmake sense to my brain.
So somehow the Trinity is true,but also I am somehow mingled
with God in Christ.
I'm hidden with Christ in God.
I can't pretend to understandit, but the Bible teaches that
(18:23):
it's true.
And so, in addition toColossians 3, 3, which we just
quoted, we can consider Jesus'sprior in John 17.
And in verse 21, he's praying toGod, the father, that they may
all be one father, just as you,father, are in me and I in you.
That they also may be in us,that they may be one even as we
(18:47):
are one, I in them and you in me.
That they may become perfectlyone, so that the world may know
that you sent me and love themeven as you loved me.
A lot of oneness, it's kind oflike can you, can you divide up,
Like if you were, I like tomake the hummingbird nectar for
(19:11):
my mother-in-law's hummingbirdfeeder, because she can't get
around so easy anymore.
So I I make sure I heat up thewater and I dissolve the sugar
in it.
Now it is possible to separatethem out, but not easily.
That is something so simple.
Sugar water is simple and it'shard to extract the sugar from
(19:31):
the water.
But God says I am in him and heis in me and we are in Christ.
And I mean, whoa, it's notsomething that I can work my way
out of or work my way intoRight, not up to me Exactly, and
here's the thing, is Jesus,when he was on the cross, he
(19:54):
took all of my sin, all of yoursin, to the cross, and he chose
to do this.
Why?
Because of his love.
And God turned his face awayfrom Jesus as Jesus cried out my
God, my God, why have youforsaken me?
That was a heavy moment in allof history.
(20:17):
Yes, jesus endured God turninghis back on him so that we would
never have to experience thepain and the heartache and the
hopelessness of God turning awayfrom us.
And so, no, we can't doanything that makes God turn
(20:37):
away from us.
He will never treat us likesome parents might treat their
kids, even, you know, withcontempt for misbehavior, or
give them the silent treatment.
He doesn't do that.
No, he is filled with love.
He really is.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah, so it's our conviction, Heidi and I, and
Revelation Within, that if webelieve that we can be separated
from God once we are in Christ,then we're believing a lie
that's authored by the enemy ofour souls.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Whoa, that's pretty strong, but we do feel pretty
darn strong about this, yeah wereally do With anything that we
teach or speak about on thepodcast or in our classes or
one-on-one.
We want to urge you to alwayscheck the word of God yourself,
absolutely, definitely.
I mean Paul refers to theBereans as being of most noble
(21:35):
character, because they checkedthe scriptures to see if what
Paul himself was teaching waslegit, and so we certainly are
above Paul.
Please, please, please, checkthe word of God Definitely.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Get into it with the Lord on your own.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yes, absolutely, and so that way, gosh, then we'll
all be safe, and you're welcometo tell us what you find.
This has come from our ownexperience searching the
scriptures to see.
We had so many people speakingabout how they were letting God
down or God was turning his backbecause of their sin, that we
thought we need to figure thisout.
(22:20):
Is this really true?
And our feelings do not definetruth?
If I feel far from God, guesswhat?
He hasn't moved, and that's notto say I should feel
condemnation for moving myself,but I should inform my feelings
with truth, like these truthswe've been looking at today.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
So in that place of feeling like God is distant,
that's very real, I mean, itfeels really real.
It feels like, well, yes, he is, cause I can't sense him and he
seems like he's far away andI'm not having any warm fuzzies
at all and it feels like he'sgiving me the silent treatment
we don't want to like minimizehow it feels, because Heidi and
(22:58):
I know how that feels but, wealso know that the truth is he
has not moved.
Like you just said, Heidi, hehas not moved.
Yes, Sometimes he's very quiet.
Sometimes we don't hear fromhim in the moment, Absolutely,
but that's not because he'sdisappointed or wondering how he
(23:18):
should deal with us or mad orlike, oh Christina, not again.
He's not that way.
He's so not that way.
And so I think that whathappens is sometimes that quiet
with the Lord.
It feels like distance, butit's not distance.
It feels like it because maybewe've experienced that from a
(23:40):
parent or a spouse or a bestfriend or a sister.
Maybe that's why that's wherewe go, you know, when there
feels like there's this quietfrom the Lord.
But really he's just with usand sometimes we're not ready to
hear what he has to say and hewaits till the timing is right.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
That's all it is.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Because he loves us so, so much.
It doesn't mean he's mad orupset or turning his back on us
or any.
None of those things are true,not according to what we've read
in the word of God.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
I think of the story of when Jesus and his disciples,
his apostles specifically, Idon't even remember.
They were in one place andLazarus was sick and Martha and
Mary sent for Jesus to comebecause they knew Jesus would
heal him.
Yes, and Jesus stayed where hewas, intentionally for four days
(24:42):
.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Oh, that's such a perfect example.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Isn't it?
I mean, it's like he would talkabout silent.
There was no texting then therewas no way that he could say I
love you, but I'm just not thereyet, or whatever.
And then when he went, lazarushad died.
Can you imagine Now if we canpush God away?
It would make sense that theywould think what don't you love
(25:04):
us anymore?
What's wrong?
Or what did we do?
Yeah, what did we do?
It's my fault, it's always myfault.
Yeah, what did we do?
It's my fault, it's always myfault.
Right?
No, no, jesus chose.
And do you remember why he choseto wait?
He just waited because he knewthere was going to be a greater
glory in raising Lazarus fromthe dead.
(25:26):
Oh, my goodness, you knowthat's a big deal.
He waited until Lazarus haddied because he intended for
people to see that he had powerover life and death.
He is the resurrection and thelife.
When God seems silent, it's notbecause we have reached a place
(25:46):
where he disapproves of us, orhe is disappointed with us, or
he's disgusted.
Some people think he'sdisgusted by us.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I know Absolutely.
I have felt that way in thepast.
It's not true.
It's not true, well, and when wethink about and we well, it's
hard to think about this becausewe're not God, but it's like
God.
What are your plans in this?
What are your?
What's your purpose in this?
It's way different than mine.
I'm looking at this from atotally different way.
(26:16):
Mary and her sister werelooking at this in a totally
different way, but God had aplan and a purpose that was huge
.
It was so big that it wouldchange people's entire way of
looking at death, and he neededto do it.
And it was them.
They were the ones involved,but his plans and purposes we
(26:39):
don't understand.
They're so far above us.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Oh, absolutely they are.
What if, instead of thinking wecan push God away because
hopefully you see that that'snot true what if, instead of
thinking we can push God away,we were to actually believe that
he is there, right with us,loving us.
He has a heart for us, he ispassionate, as ever, for our joy
(27:05):
, for our healing, and we mayhave turned our back on him, but
he is there, pursuing us, likewith Hosea and Gomer.
Think about the story of Hoseaand Gomer in the book of Hosea,
maybe even read through that.
God commissioned Hosea to lovethis woman, gomer, even though
she was an adulteress, eventhough she had many partners,
(27:28):
even though she ran after them.
He wanted Hosea to go get herand to chase after her, because
he is that way with his people,and he specifically says so in
that book.
It's an amazing story.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
It is Well and Redeeming Love is written by
Francine Rivers and she tellsthe story Absolutely.
It's an incredible book.
I remember reading that many,many years ago.
I think I want to read it again.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
So, christina, you asked me to tell a story of when
I felt this distance from Godand I told you that it's been a
really long time since I havefelt that I could push God away,
that that is something that Ihave a lot of distance from,
thankfully.
And then Christina asked me well, why do you think you have?
How is that possible?
(28:20):
Anyway?
And I realized I started withthe whole God list and praise
fest.
We did a whole episode on thatand I really think it's renewing
my mind with what God saysabout who he is.
Again and again, and again andagain, and knowing that he has
purchased me, I am his, that Iam his masterpiece and he has
(28:45):
plans for me.
I have value, identity andpurpose.
You know that whole who I am inChrist list.
Those two things have been.
I've used those hours and hoursand hours and hours in my life
and I think I really believe it.
Yes, and it shows up.
I mean because when I mess up,I feel sad but I don't feel like
(29:06):
he's disgusted with me.
I don't feel like I'm able topush him away.
I don't want to, and you knowwhat this does for me too is if
I think of God as a potentiallydisapproving parent, then I
don't have a softened heart forhim.
I mean, it's just the way it is.
When my parents were raising me, they were very strict and I
(29:28):
could disappoint them easilyjust by looking at them
cross-eyed and I didn't reallyparticularly care if they were
unhappy with me.
I mean, I'm sure I did at thedeepest part of my soul, and God
is nothing like that.
No, no, no.
I mean, wouldn't you say that'simpacted you really strongly by
renewing your mind with who Godis and what he says about who
(29:51):
you are, that that has helped alot.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Oh, it's changed everything for me.
Yeah, my whole relationshipwith the Lord has changed and I
thought it was really goodbefore, but it's been amazing
just to renew my mind reallyalmost every single day about
who God is.
That is the one tool that I usealmost every single day is God
(30:15):
you are, or I believe you are.
What you just said, too,reminded me.
It just came up my dad.
I wanted to please my dad andhe was kind and gentle and a
good listener, also kind of adoormat, when my mom was a
little passive.
Maybe he was passive, but whenevery, every so often it wasn't
(30:38):
like all the time, so when ithappened it was a big deal for
me.
He would say my name a certainway and sometimes my husband
makes a joke about this andhe'll say my name that way and I
kind of respond like, oh, youknow, what did I do?
That, I think, is my example inmy life, cause he would say,
(31:00):
christina, like in this way,like I can't believe you did
that, christina, and I rememberjust feeling like, oh my gosh, I
disappointed my dad, now my mom, whatever we fought all the
time, it was not a big deal, butmy dad, when I disappointed him
(31:21):
, I just wanted to curl up in aball in a little corner and just
never come out again.
I felt so bad and there was adistance between us.
You know, it felt like therewas the silence between us.
Something was somehow brokenbetween us in that moment, and
so I'm just realizing this now.
(31:41):
I think that that's probablywhere that belief came from for
me, that God was saying to me,christina, in that way that made
me feel like, oh, I'm adisappointment, I messed up, and
kind of it's not just I messedup, it's this is who I am.
(32:01):
I am a mess up, you know, I amdisappointing.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Yeah, I am that.
Whatever it is, I did wrong.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Right.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yes, and I'm so thankful that those things
aren't true, that God is nothinglike our fallible authority
figures on this planet, nothinglike them.
You know, it's so interestingto me.
We have people who have haddifficult relationships with
their dads and they in turn, nowhave a difficulty in relating
(32:31):
to God as father.
I am one of those people.
I think God knew that he waspicking something to identify
himself as our father, thatthere are going to be many of us
that we're going to havetrouble with that.
And I think he did it so itcould heal our relationships
with our father If we got toknow him as the tender loving
(32:52):
you know there's no, no end tothe depths that he would go to
to reach us in love.
He's fair, no expense.
And I think when we see him ashe is instead of how we think he
might be because of our ownexperience with an earthly
father, I think when we see himas he is instead of how we think
he might be because of our ownexperience with an earthly
father, I think it can be veryhealing, not just for our
(33:13):
relationship with our heavenlyfather but also our earthly
fathers.
I mean, I do I just think thatGod knew what he was doing when
he picked that image.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
I think so too.
And just so you know, I was theone.
It was my brother and I.
I was the mischievous one.
My brother did what he was told, came home on time.
I was the one sneaking in andout at two in the morning as a
teenager.
I was the one who was gettingin trouble.
It makes sense that I wouldtransfer that to my relationship
(33:43):
with the Lord.
Oh, I'm in trouble, I'm introuble, I'm always the one in
trouble.
My brother's the one that'skind of the good son and I'm the
one that's causing all theproblems.
So I just love that by going tothe word and really looking at
this, looking at what the truthis, I can see absolutely for
sure who God is and that hislove for me is totally,
(34:07):
completely solid and secure.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
There's nothing I can do to push him away Right, so I
just want to really quickly,for anybody who wants to jot
these down, these are some ofthe verses that we looked at
today Romans, chapter eight,verse 31 to 38.
We spent some time there andthen Ephesians chapter, chapter
(34:29):
2, verse 2 and following, Ithink we went through verse 6,
and then romans 5, verse 8, andthen we went back to ephesians 2
, where we looked at verses 12and 13, and colossians 3, 3.
Oh my goodness, we were also inJohn 17.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
And don't forget the book of Hosea yes, yes, and.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
And so really, the best thing we can do if this is
something we struggle withthinking that God turns away
from me when I sin or when Iovereat, or when I this or when
I that is to dive into thescriptures.
Take those scriptures that wejust mentioned.
But you can also go anywhere inGod's word and jot down, you
know, create a God list or addto your God list what is God
(35:20):
like?
What is he really like?
Lord, show me, what are youreally like and what do you do?
How do you relate to people andthen write down what he tells
you and then praise him forbeing that way.
That is a key part of this, Ithink, because we're basically
confessing that we're aligningwith what God says is true.
And so, god you are.
(35:40):
Why don't we wrap up our timewith a little God you are Sure?
I would love it.
I would love it.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Okay, I would love it .
Speaker 1 (35:48):
I would love it.
Okay, I'll invite that in.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yep, and then you start us off.
Lord Jesus, please come intothis time of mind renewal.
We're going to do, god you are.
Please give us your thoughts,as we praise you in Jesus name.
Amen.
God, you are the one who lovesme with an everlasting love.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
God, you are the one who draws me with cords of human
kindness and binds me toyourself.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Oh, that's beautiful.
God, you are my refuge, myhiding place my safety.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
God, you are the one I was going to say, that I am
safe with you know me inside andout and you love me.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
God, you are the one that will never, ever turn away
from me.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
God, you are the one who called me from before the
foundations of the earth to beholy and blameless in your sight
.
In love, you predestined me tobe your adopted baby girl.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yes, god, you are the one who calls me beloved and
sings over me with loud singing.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Yes, god, you are the one who chose to demonstrate
your love for me and that, whileI was still sinning, you gave
Jesus for me to bring me close.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yes, wow, beautiful, beautiful, god.
You are the one who knows meinside and out and loves me
exactly as I am.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yay, well, we could keep going.
Of course.
I hope, listener, you will keepgoing.
Just stop the podcast and onyou go.
Yes, don't ever stop.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
We're so glad that you've been here with us today
and we would love to invite youto join us for our next podcast
of Revelation Within.
On that note, join us for ournext podcast of Revelation
Within.
Thanks for being here.
Bye for now.
Hi and welcome to our podcast Revelation Within On
the Go.
I'm Heidi Biles-Maepperson, oneof your hosts and the owner and
lead coach of theRevelationWithinorg ministry.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a
Revelation Within coach andHeidi's partner in all things
Revelation Within.
We are so happy to invite youto join us for this episode of
Revelation Within on the go.
We both went in the samedirection that time.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yes, definitely.
Well, Christina and I weretalking this week about just
this and that ministry things,coaching and so on and we both
kind of landed on a concern thatwe think is from God.
Right, Don't?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
we yes.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
So let's describe for a minute what we have observed,
and then we'll launch into whatwe hope for the people that
we've observed this about, andwe've both been in this camp, so
yeah, well, I was just going tosay I can observe my own
experience looking back.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yeah, so you know, many of you know that I have
been a Christian since I was alittle girl and then made a
solid decision for Christ as ateenager and have been in the
Word and gone to church andBible study and all the
different things, the retreats,and had daily time with the Lord
and all of those things for along, long time and it's
(01:37):
wonderful and I love that that'sa part of my life.
So when I was a teenager, Istarted into the patterns of
disordered eating and thingsjust got more and more intense
with that.
And I've talked about thatbefore.
Being raised in the Los Angelesarea and just the pressures
there and also having a mom whohad some real struggles with
(02:01):
food and eating there were a lotof things that contributed to
it.
But I found myself getting inthis pattern.
I didn't notice it right away,you know how.
You just don't really see itright away.
I don't think I noticed it forquite a long time, but it did
start, probably 16, 17.
So I would eat when I wasn'thungry, I would overeat, I would
(02:22):
have a binge or whatever youwant to call it, and then I felt
like I had pushed God away.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
That's a really common feeling too.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, and honestly, I didn't feel this way about
other areas in my life which isso interesting to me.
I would get in a fight with myboyfriend or I would mess
something up with school, get abad grade or whatever it was, or
make a decision that wasn'tbeing a good friend or something
(02:54):
like that, and I didn't feelthe same way.
I didn't feel like I waspushing God away Like in every
other issue.
I felt like I could go to himand say help me with this Lord.
I'm struggling, but forwhatever reason I'm not quite
sure why, but I do know that alot of people say this too with
food and eating and my bodyimage I felt like I was pushing
(03:16):
him away.
When I was eating, when Iwasn't hungry, overeating,
eating for emotional reasons,whatever I was eating for wasn't
hungry, overeating, eating foremotional reasons, whatever I
was eating for, and that feltawful.
It was very real to me.
I thought that that was truth.
I thought that I was pushinghim away.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
That's a really good example of when our feelings
tell us what is true and theylie.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yes, and I used to journal constantly when I was
younger, in my 20s, and, oh mygoodness, and I would journal
all of this out and it lookedkind of the same every single
time and I was just like I'msorry, I'm sorry, god, I'm sorry
I blew it again.
I blew it again.
Why can't I get this, why won'tyou fix me?
(04:05):
And it just kind of it was likeI was renewing my mind in a way
that was causing me to go down,down, down, and it was also what
was coming out of that was thatI hated myself.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I was mad at myself all the time, secretly in my
mind, in my own thoughts.
I didn't articulate it, Ididn't talk to anybody about
this.
I just kept going on more diets.
So, we talked about diets a lot, my friends and I and exercise
programs or going to the gym,that kind of thing.
But my thoughts were extremelycondemning and I thought you
(04:49):
know what am I doing?
I'm ruining my relationshipwith God.
A lot of people do.
I mean, it was just.
It was an awful feeling.
I thought this is my fault, I'mmessing this up, I'm ruining my
relationship with God and Idon't feel like I've heard
(05:10):
something like this so muchuntil recently.
I feel like the last few monthsI'm hearing it a lot from
people who are coming to us atRevelation Within.
What do you think, Heidi?
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, I know that I used to hear it quite a bit when
I would coach one-on-one, whenwe had a community on Facebook
and before that when we had theforums in the old days of you
know, people would say I feellike I'm letting God down.
I just can't stand the way I dothis.
He must be so disappointed withme.
(05:42):
I must grieve him so much.
And it's like they have thisfeeling, like you described, as
though God turns his back onthem.
When they're out of line insome way, when they're not
aligned with him, they feel likeGod turns their back, and so is
that a biblical principle.
(06:02):
Let's evaluate that for aminute before we actually go to
some scriptures.
What is true of us?
Well, we're going to get tothis with the scriptures as well
.
But I mean, can I be separatedfrom God by my sin?
If I am in Christ, if I haveopened my heart to what Christ
(06:25):
did on the cross for me, if Ihave allowed his blood to be
applied to my sin and my shame,and I mean, is that a one and
done thing, or do I breakfellowship with him?
Do I cause him to turn awayfrom me when I sin?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, and there's another area, too, that just
comes to mind right now, whereI'm seeing this, because I'm in
my mid fifties, so a lot of myfriends are around my age some
of them, you know and we're allin this season where we're
launching kids or have launchedkids, or are kind of in the
middle of it or wishing theywould launch.
(07:04):
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Or there are some of us who have boomerang babies who
come back again.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yes, yes, and I'm hearing this from the moms that
are my age.
I'm hearing you know, my kidshave made these bad choices and
they have pushed God away.
And I'm hearing that from momstoo.
And it's like wait a minute,wait a minute, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
We need to get back intoscripture and see what's
(07:29):
actually true, not how we'refeeling Like I was talking to a
friend the other day who said Idon't know if my son is a
Christian anymore, and thatalways makes me so sad.
And it's not because he has saidthat he's not, it's not because
he has tried somethingdifferent and said goodbye to
(07:50):
this, nothing like that.
It's because of some decisionsthat he's made recently.
And it's like wait a minute,wait a minute.
Let's look at the word and seeCan we, can we push God away?
Do we push God away from uswhen we make a bad decision,
when we sin, when we go, turn toa counterfeit comfort?
(08:11):
Are we pushing him away?
So let's look at that, becauseI think it's on a lot of
people's minds right now.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Right, so we're going to dive in to.
We're going to start in Romans,chapter eight, in some selected
verses, from verses 31 to 38.
We're not going to read themall, we're going to skip a
little bit.
Christina, would you go aheadand do that for us?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
What then shall we say to these things?
If God is for us, who can beagainst us?
He who did not spare his ownson, but gave him up for us all,
how will he not also, with him,graciously give us all things?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
That's just such a beautiful verse.
It's verse 31 and 32 of Romans8.
And really think about it.
God held nothing back.
Held nothing back.
He didn't hold back thegreatest sacrifice, his own son,
because he wanted intimacy withus when we were so far away
(09:13):
from him already he spared noexpense to bring us close.
Does that sound like a ficklesort of love.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
It does not, not so far.
Let's see what else we've got.
Yeah, okay, verse 35,.
Who shall separate us from thelove of Christ?
This is one of my absolutefavorite verses, especially when
I'm thinking about things thatI've done and things that my
kids have done.
Shall tribulation or distressor persecution or famine or
(09:47):
nakedness or danger or sword,and you add in your own or what
can I separate me from the loveof Christ?
Speaker 1 (09:56):
You know the implication here.
It's a rhetorical question.
The implication is no, theanswer is no, and Paul later on
tells us that Can anything keepme from the love of Christ?
Once I'm in Christ, cananything keep me from that love?
Can I be separated?
(10:18):
Go ahead and read on yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
So the answer is no, and it starts with no.
In all these things, we aremore than conquerors, through
him who loved us, for I am surethat neither death nor life, nor
angels, nor rulers, nor thingspresent, nor things to come, nor
powers, nor height, nor depth,nor anything else in all
(10:46):
creation will be able toseparate us from the love of God
in Christ Jesus, our Lord.
There it is, there it is there.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
It is Now many of us.
We might go okay, well, that'swhat it says there, but
elsewhere in scripture it sayssomething else.
But what we have to do is becautious.
Says something else.
But what we have to do is becautious.
When Jesus came, heaccomplished something once and
for all, for all men and women,for all time, any who would
allow him to.
He bridged that gap.
(11:16):
He gave his body, he gave hisblood, he gave himself.
He who knew no sin became sinfor us, so that in him we might
what Become the righteousness ofGod.
I don't have that referencewritten down or in my mind
anywhere, but I think it's in 1Peter.
But I could be wrong.
In any event, we have become therighteousness of God because he
(11:40):
became sin for us.
I think it's fascinating if wego on and look at Ephesians.
In Ephesians chapter two, we'retold we were dead in trespasses
and sins, and then verse fourgoes on and says but God.
I love those words, I lovethose words.
When we see a but God, there'sa contrast coming.
(12:02):
Yes, I was dead in trespassesand sins.
I was as far away from God as Icould have been, but God.
And it goes on to say in versefour of Ephesians, chapter two
but God being rich in mercy.
Because of what?
Because of me, because I was agood girl for a minute.
(12:22):
No, because of the great lovewith which he loved us, even
when Heidi was dead in hertrespasses, even when Christina
was dead in her trespasses, evenwhen we were dead in our
trespasses, god, who's rich inmercy, made us alive together
(12:43):
with Christ.
And we're reminded by grace youare saved.
And beyond that, he raised usup with Christ and seated us
with Christ in the heavenlyplaces.
In Christ Jesus.
That's verses.
Let's see four through six ofEphesians two.
(13:03):
This is amazing stuff.
There's so much here that wecould unpack, but we won't go
into it for very long because wehave other verses we want to
get into.
But I love that.
God is rich in mercy because ofhis great love, with which he
loved us.
He chose to love us.
And when did he choose to loveus?
(13:24):
Even when we were dead in ourtrespasses.
And what did he do?
He raised us up, made us alivetogether with Christ, seated us
with Christ in heavenly placesin Christ.
There's a lot of really goodnews there.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
It really really really is really good news there
.
It really really really is.
Okay.
Romans 5, 8 tells us that Goddemonstrates his love for us in
this, that while we were stillsinners just like you just said,
heidi he gave Jesus for us tobring us close.
So I mean, at that time we weresteeped in sin.
So I mean, at that time we weresteeped in sin.
(14:03):
We were sin.
Sin owned us.
It was our identity, it definedus, and that is when God chose
to come close.
He spared nothing to beintimate with us.
Wow, wow, so beautiful.
This is the truth from the wordof God.
This is who God is, not just.
(14:24):
Oh, I'm feeling this way.
Let's look at what is the truthfrom the word of God.
This is who God is, not just.
Oh, I'm feeling this way.
Let's look at what is the truth, what is true?
Yeah, ephesians 2, 12 and 13.
Remember that you were at thetime, separated from Christ,
alienated from the commonwealthof Israel and strangers to the
covenants of promise, having nohope and without God in the
(14:45):
world.
But now, in Christ Jesus, it'sright there, it's very clear,
there's no question.
It's not confusing.
It's right there for us.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
You could be in the middle of a binge, yes, and you
have been brought near to Christ.
Yes, you have been brought nearby the blood of Christ.
You could be in the middle ofthrowing up your meal.
I hate to say that, but it'strue.
And you are no longer separatedfrom Christ.
You were separated from Christbefore you came to him.
(15:27):
You were alienated from him.
You were strangers to thecovenants of promise.
You had no hope.
You were without God from him.
You were strangers to thecovenants of promise.
You had no hope.
You were without God in theworld.
It's all past tense though.
Yes, and then we have in verse13,.
But now, but now in ChristJesus, I want to get up and
dance around.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, let's do it, let's get up and dance around.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, let's do it, let's get up and dance around.
But now, even if you're binging, even if you're purging, even
if you're anythinging, christJesus has brought you close.
You, who were once far off,have been brought near.
And how Are you brought near?
By your behavior?
No, you can't lose it either.
It's by the blood of Christ.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Yes, and this is true for the people that we love
that are struggling.
This is true for your friend,for your cousin, for your
husband, for your kids.
This is true Once we are inChrist, it is a one and done, it
is a done deal.
Our identity now is in Christ.
Our identity, we are his,that's our identity.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
We are no longer owned and defined by sin, right.
And what is just so cool too,it says in Ephesians that we are
sealed with the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit is a seal.
And what does a seal do?
It keeps things stuck together,kind of closed, and it's like a
permanence of some sort.
If an envelope isn't sealed, itdoesn't feel secure.
If I'm not sealed in Christ,then I wouldn't be secure.
But I am sealed and it's notjust adhesive, it's the Holy
(17:10):
Spirit, it's God glue.
I am spiritually cling-wrappedto God with the Holy Spirit.
I mean, picture it.
Yeah, these are cling-wrapped.
Oh it's so good.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
It's such a relief because we mess up so much.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I know.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
It's such a relief to know that this reality, who we
are in Christ, is not dependenton how quote unquote good we are
.
Oh my gosh, what a relief.
That is right, right.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Oh, it is, it really is.
Colossians three three puts itthis way, for you have died and
your life is hidden with Christin God.
Somehow, I don't know what thismeans.
I kind of think of it as theTrinity, a similar sort of thing
.
It's not the Trinity, but it'slike I can't understand the
(18:00):
Trinity either.
What is true according to God,which is true truth it's
absolute truth doesn't alwaysmake sense to my brain.
So somehow the Trinity is true,but also I am somehow mingled
with God in Christ.
I'm hidden with Christ in God.
I can't pretend to understandit, but the Bible teaches that
(18:23):
it's true.
And so, in addition toColossians 3, 3, which we just
quoted, we can consider Jesus'sprior in John 17.
And in verse 21, he's praying toGod, the father, that they may
all be one father, just as you,father, are in me and I in you.
That they also may be in us,that they may be one even as we
(18:47):
are one, I in them and you in me.
That they may become perfectlyone, so that the world may know
that you sent me and love themeven as you loved me.
A lot of oneness, it's kind oflike can you, can you divide up,
Like if you were, I like tomake the hummingbird nectar for
(19:11):
my mother-in-law's hummingbirdfeeder, because she can't get
around so easy anymore.
So I I make sure I heat up thewater and I dissolve the sugar
in it.
Now it is possible to separatethem out, but not easily.
That is something so simple.
Sugar water is simple and it'shard to extract the sugar from
(19:31):
the water.
But God says I am in him and heis in me and we are in Christ.
And I mean, whoa, it's notsomething that I can work my way
out of or work my way intoRight, not up to me Exactly, and
here's the thing, is Jesus,when he was on the cross, he
(19:54):
took all of my sin, all of yoursin, to the cross, and he chose
to do this.
Why?
Because of his love.
And God turned his face awayfrom Jesus as Jesus cried out my
God, my God, why have youforsaken me?
That was a heavy moment in allof history.
(20:17):
Yes, jesus endured God turninghis back on him so that we would
never have to experience thepain and the heartache and the
hopelessness of God turning awayfrom us.
And so, no, we can't doanything that makes God turn
(20:37):
away from us.
He will never treat us likesome parents might treat their
kids, even, you know, withcontempt for misbehavior, or
give them the silent treatment.
He doesn't do that.
No, he is filled with love.
He really is.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah, so it's our conviction, Heidi and I, and
Revelation Within, that if webelieve that we can be separated
from God once we are in Christ,then we're believing a lie
that's authored by the enemy ofour souls.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Whoa, that's pretty strong, but we do feel pretty
darn strong about this, yeah wereally do With anything that we
teach or speak about on thepodcast or in our classes or
one-on-one.
We want to urge you to alwayscheck the word of God yourself,
absolutely, definitely.
I mean Paul refers to theBereans as being of most noble
(21:35):
character, because they checkedthe scriptures to see if what
Paul himself was teaching waslegit, and so we certainly are
above Paul.
Please, please, please, checkthe word of God Definitely.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Get into it with the Lord on your own.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yes, absolutely, and so that way, gosh, then we'll
all be safe, and you're welcometo tell us what you find.
This has come from our ownexperience searching the
scriptures to see.
We had so many people speakingabout how they were letting God
down or God was turning his backbecause of their sin, that we
thought we need to figure thisout.
(22:20):
Is this really true?
And our feelings do not definetruth?
If I feel far from God, guesswhat?
He hasn't moved, and that's notto say I should feel
condemnation for moving myself,but I should inform my feelings
with truth, like these truthswe've been looking at today.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
So in that place of feeling like God is distant,
that's very real, I mean, itfeels really real.
It feels like, well, yes, he is, cause I can't sense him and he
seems like he's far away andI'm not having any warm fuzzies
at all and it feels like he'sgiving me the silent treatment
we don't want to like minimizehow it feels, because Heidi and
(22:58):
I know how that feels but, wealso know that the truth is he
has not moved.
Like you just said, Heidi, hehas not moved.
Yes, Sometimes he's very quiet.
Sometimes we don't hear fromhim in the moment, Absolutely,
but that's not because he'sdisappointed or wondering how he
(23:18):
should deal with us or mad orlike, oh Christina, not again.
He's not that way.
He's so not that way.
And so I think that whathappens is sometimes that quiet
with the Lord.
It feels like distance, butit's not distance.
It feels like it because maybewe've experienced that from a
(23:40):
parent or a spouse or a bestfriend or a sister.
Maybe that's why that's wherewe go, you know, when there
feels like there's this quietfrom the Lord.
But really he's just with usand sometimes we're not ready to
hear what he has to say and hewaits till the timing is right.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
That's all it is.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Because he loves us so, so much.
It doesn't mean he's mad orupset or turning his back on us
or any.
None of those things are true,not according to what we've read
in the word of God.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
I think of the story of when Jesus and his disciples,
his apostles specifically, Idon't even remember.
They were in one place andLazarus was sick and Martha and
Mary sent for Jesus to comebecause they knew Jesus would
heal him.
Yes, and Jesus stayed where hewas, intentionally for four days
(24:42):
.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Oh, that's such a perfect example.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Isn't it?
I mean, it's like he would talkabout silent.
There was no texting then therewas no way that he could say I
love you, but I'm just not thereyet, or whatever.
And then when he went, lazarushad died.
Can you imagine Now if we canpush God away?
It would make sense that theywould think what don't you love
(25:04):
us anymore?
What's wrong?
Or what did we do?
Yeah, what did we do?
It's my fault, it's always myfault.
Yeah, what did we do?
It's my fault, it's always myfault.
Right?
No, no, jesus chose.
And do you remember why he choseto wait?
He just waited because he knewthere was going to be a greater
glory in raising Lazarus fromthe dead.
(25:26):
Oh, my goodness, you knowthat's a big deal.
He waited until Lazarus haddied because he intended for
people to see that he had powerover life and death.
He is the resurrection and thelife.
When God seems silent, it's notbecause we have reached a place
(25:46):
where he disapproves of us, orhe is disappointed with us, or
he's disgusted.
Some people think he'sdisgusted by us.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I know Absolutely.
I have felt that way in thepast.
It's not true.
It's not true, well, and when wethink about and we well, it's
hard to think about this becausewe're not God, but it's like
God.
What are your plans in this?
What are your?
What's your purpose in this?
It's way different than mine.
I'm looking at this from atotally different way.
(26:16):
Mary and her sister werelooking at this in a totally
different way, but God had aplan and a purpose that was huge
.
It was so big that it wouldchange people's entire way of
looking at death, and he neededto do it.
And it was them.
They were the ones involved,but his plans and purposes we
(26:39):
don't understand.
They're so far above us.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Oh, absolutely they are.
What if, instead of thinking wecan push God away because
hopefully you see that that'snot true what if, instead of
thinking we can push God away,we were to actually believe that
he is there, right with us,loving us.
He has a heart for us, he ispassionate, as ever, for our joy
(27:05):
, for our healing, and we mayhave turned our back on him, but
he is there, pursuing us, likewith Hosea and Gomer.
Think about the story of Hoseaand Gomer in the book of Hosea,
maybe even read through that.
God commissioned Hosea to lovethis woman, gomer, even though
she was an adulteress, eventhough she had many partners,
(27:28):
even though she ran after them.
He wanted Hosea to go get herand to chase after her, because
he is that way with his people,and he specifically says so in
that book.
It's an amazing story.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
It is Well and Redeeming Love is written by
Francine Rivers and she tellsthe story Absolutely.
It's an incredible book.
I remember reading that many,many years ago.
I think I want to read it again.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
So, christina, you asked me to tell a story of when
I felt this distance from Godand I told you that it's been a
really long time since I havefelt that I could push God away,
that that is something that Ihave a lot of distance from,
thankfully.
And then Christina asked me well, why do you think you have?
How is that possible?
(28:20):
Anyway?
And I realized I started withthe whole God list and praise
fest.
We did a whole episode on thatand I really think it's renewing
my mind with what God saysabout who he is.
Again and again, and again andagain, and knowing that he has
purchased me, I am his, that Iam his masterpiece and he has
(28:45):
plans for me.
I have value, identity andpurpose.
You know that whole who I am inChrist list.
Those two things have been.
I've used those hours and hoursand hours and hours in my life
and I think I really believe it.
Yes, and it shows up.
I mean because when I mess up,I feel sad but I don't feel like
(29:06):
he's disgusted with me.
I don't feel like I'm able topush him away.
I don't want to, and you knowwhat this does for me too is if
I think of God as a potentiallydisapproving parent, then I
don't have a softened heart forhim.
I mean, it's just the way it is.
When my parents were raising me, they were very strict and I
(29:28):
could disappoint them easilyjust by looking at them
cross-eyed and I didn't reallyparticularly care if they were
unhappy with me.
I mean, I'm sure I did at thedeepest part of my soul, and God
is nothing like that.
No, no, no.
I mean, wouldn't you say that'simpacted you really strongly by
renewing your mind with who Godis and what he says about who
(29:51):
you are, that that has helped alot.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Oh, it's changed everything for me.
Yeah, my whole relationshipwith the Lord has changed and I
thought it was really goodbefore, but it's been amazing
just to renew my mind reallyalmost every single day about
who God is.
That is the one tool that I usealmost every single day is God
(30:15):
you are, or I believe you are.
What you just said, too,reminded me.
It just came up my dad.
I wanted to please my dad andhe was kind and gentle and a
good listener, also kind of adoormat, when my mom was a
little passive.
Maybe he was passive, but whenevery, every so often it wasn't
(30:38):
like all the time, so when ithappened it was a big deal for
me.
He would say my name a certainway and sometimes my husband
makes a joke about this andhe'll say my name that way and I
kind of respond like, oh, youknow, what did I do?
That, I think, is my example inmy life, cause he would say,
(31:00):
christina, like in this way,like I can't believe you did
that, christina, and I rememberjust feeling like, oh my gosh, I
disappointed my dad, now my mom, whatever we fought all the
time, it was not a big deal, butmy dad, when I disappointed him
(31:21):
, I just wanted to curl up in aball in a little corner and just
never come out again.
I felt so bad and there was adistance between us.
You know, it felt like therewas the silence between us.
Something was somehow brokenbetween us in that moment, and
so I'm just realizing this now.
(31:41):
I think that that's probablywhere that belief came from for
me, that God was saying to me,christina, in that way that made
me feel like, oh, I'm adisappointment, I messed up, and
kind of it's not just I messedup, it's this is who I am.
(32:01):
I am a mess up, you know, I amdisappointing.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Yeah, I am that.
Whatever it is, I did wrong.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Right.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yes, and I'm so thankful that those things
aren't true, that God is nothinglike our fallible authority
figures on this planet, nothinglike them.
You know, it's so interestingto me.
We have people who have haddifficult relationships with
their dads and they in turn, nowhave a difficulty in relating
(32:31):
to God as father.
I am one of those people.
I think God knew that he waspicking something to identify
himself as our father, thatthere are going to be many of us
that we're going to havetrouble with that.
And I think he did it so itcould heal our relationships
with our father If we got toknow him as the tender loving
(32:52):
you know there's no, no end tothe depths that he would go to
to reach us in love.
He's fair, no expense.
And I think when we see him ashe is instead of how we think he
might be because of our ownexperience with an earthly
father, I think when we see himas he is instead of how we think
he might be because of our ownexperience with an earthly
father, I think it can be veryhealing, not just for our
(33:13):
relationship with our heavenlyfather but also our earthly
fathers.
I mean, I do I just think thatGod knew what he was doing when
he picked that image.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
I think so too.
And just so you know, I was theone.
It was my brother and I.
I was the mischievous one.
My brother did what he was told, came home on time.
I was the one sneaking in andout at two in the morning as a
teenager.
I was the one who was gettingin trouble.
It makes sense that I wouldtransfer that to my relationship
(33:43):
with the Lord.
Oh, I'm in trouble, I'm introuble, I'm always the one in
trouble.
My brother's the one that'skind of the good son and I'm the
one that's causing all theproblems.
So I just love that by going tothe word and really looking at
this, looking at what the truthis, I can see absolutely for
sure who God is and that hislove for me is totally,
(34:07):
completely solid and secure.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
There's nothing I can do to push him away Right, so I
just want to really quickly,for anybody who wants to jot
these down, these are some ofthe verses that we looked at
today Romans, chapter eight,verse 31 to 38.
We spent some time there andthen Ephesians chapter, chapter
(34:29):
2, verse 2 and following, Ithink we went through verse 6,
and then romans 5, verse 8, andthen we went back to ephesians 2
, where we looked at verses 12and 13, and colossians 3, 3.
Oh my goodness, we were also inJohn 17.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
And don't forget the book of Hosea yes, yes, and.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
And so really, the best thing we can do if this is
something we struggle withthinking that God turns away
from me when I sin or when Iovereat, or when I this or when
I that is to dive into thescriptures.
Take those scriptures that wejust mentioned.
But you can also go anywhere inGod's word and jot down, you
know, create a God list or addto your God list what is God
(35:20):
like?
What is he really like?
Lord, show me, what are youreally like and what do you do?
How do you relate to people andthen write down what he tells
you and then praise him forbeing that way.
That is a key part of this, Ithink, because we're basically
confessing that we're aligningwith what God says is true.
And so, god you are.
(35:40):
Why don't we wrap up our timewith a little God you are Sure?
I would love it.
I would love it.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Okay, I would love it .
Speaker 1 (35:48):
I would love it.
Okay, I'll invite that in.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yep, and then you start us off.
Lord Jesus, please come intothis time of mind renewal.
We're going to do, god you are.
Please give us your thoughts,as we praise you in Jesus name.
Amen.
God, you are the one who lovesme with an everlasting love.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
God, you are the one who draws me with cords of human
kindness and binds me toyourself.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Oh, that's beautiful.
God, you are my refuge, myhiding place my safety.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
God, you are the one I was going to say, that I am
safe with you know me inside andout and you love me.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
God, you are the one that will never, ever turn away
from me.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
God, you are the one who called me from before the
foundations of the earth to beholy and blameless in your sight
.
In love, you predestined me tobe your adopted baby girl.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yes, god, you are the one who calls me beloved and
sings over me with loud singing.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Yes, god, you are the one who chose to demonstrate
your love for me and that, whileI was still sinning, you gave
Jesus for me to bring me close.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yes, wow, beautiful, beautiful, god.
You are the one who knows meinside and out and loves me
exactly as I am.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yay, well, we could keep going.
Of course.
I hope, listener, you will keepgoing.
Just stop the podcast and onyou go.
Yes, don't ever stop.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
We're so glad that you've been here with us today
and we would love to invite youto join us for our next podcast
of Revelation Within.
On that note, join us for ournext podcast of Revelation
Within.
Thanks for being here.
Bye for now.
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