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November 20, 2024 34 mins

RE-VIEW ALERT: Revisiting Episode 10 – Mav Lash & Splash at the Boathouse Reviews 💅🚤

Travel back to August 11, 2021, as we RE-VIEW Episode 10 of Review That Review! The Queens take on a 1-Star Google review for eyelash extensions from Mav Lash and a 2-Star Yelp review for the restaurant Splash at the Boathouse. Things get Goldie, Trey reads from Leviticus, Olli comes to the rescue, Chelsey is a dollar short, and JoJo doesn’t need a second take. 🌟

Episode 10 Highlights:

  • Mav Lash Review: The Queens dive into a 1-Star review for eyelash extensions—because sometimes beauty is a beast. 💅
  • Splash at the Boathouse Review: A 2-Star Yelp review for this restaurant has the Queens splashing around in opinions. 🚤
  • Random Fun: Trey reads from Leviticus, Olli saves the day, Chelsey’s a dollar short, and JoJo nails it on the first try. 📖

Timestamps:

  • (05:12) Lodge A Complaint
  • (35:01) Splash at the Boathouse Review
  • (50:11) My Royal Highness
  • (54:44) Listener Voicemail!

Enjoyed the episode? Don’t forget to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support really helps! 🌟

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About the Show:

Review That Review is an independent podcast produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn. Sound design and editing by Trey Gerrald. Cover art by LogoVora. Theme song by Joe Kinosian, sung by Natalie Weiss. Voiceover by Eva Kaminsky.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
CHELSEY DONN (00:00):
It's time, the time has come to review, Review That Review, episode 10, which originally aired on August 11th, 2021.
This is one of my favorite episodes because Ibelieve it was the first listener submission by the one and only Mark Tuminelli.
This episode is a splash.

(00:20):
I remember this episode like it was yesterday,because it was so funny, so endearing, so many personalities, I think it was the biggest personality that we had to date in a review, and it's worth a re listen, let me tell you, the original episode contained two reviews, two complaints, and two Royal Highness inductions, but today's review is a bite sized version of that original episode, so if you want to hear the whole Megillah, you gotta be sure to pop back and listen, To episode 10 in full, believe me, you won't regret it.

(00:50):
And while you're at it, if you wouldn'tmind, leave us a five star review, would ya?
Wherever you listen to this podcast, itreally makes all the difference in the world.
And we greatly, greatly appreciate it.
Thank you, Queens, and enjoy the episode.

VOICEOVER (01:04):
Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian, It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore, Someone's gotta settle the score.,
Trey and Chelsey will help you choose,Whose views win which ones lose,

CHELSEY DONN (01:24):
Online haters are coming

VOICEOVER (01:26):
for you, Baby, it's time to Review That Review!,

CHELSEY DONN (01:33):
Hello.

TREY GERRALD (01:35):
Hi there.
Welcome to Review That Review.
This is episode 10 of thepodcast dedicated to reviewing.

CHELSEY DONN (01:42):
Unbelievable.
Reviews were just like Siskel and Ebert, onlyinstead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

TREY GERRALD (01:55):
That's Chelsey Donn,

CHELSEY DONN (01:56):
and that's Trey Gerrald,

TREY GERRALD (01:58):
or in the words of Friend of the Pod, Ham and Cheese Sandwich, that's Trey see and I'm Trey.
But regardless of what you call usindividually, none of it really matters, because together we are The Review Queens.
How's that crown today, Tracey?

CHELSEY DONN (02:17):
Well, Che, my crown is great today.
Yeah, I'm holding my crown high.
How's your crown today?

TREY GERRALD (02:25):
My crown is good.
You know, I had a really spectacular weekend away.
My husband and I were celebrating.
This is funny to me because I remember when wefirst started dating, I was a waiter and we would go away and celebrate months because it was a huge step for us to have Quote unquote titles.
We were like consciously beingtogether one day at a time.

(02:47):
So we would celebrate monthly anniversaries,but I would need coverage every now and then.
And the other waiters would be like, Oh,it's the anniversary thinking it was like years or something, not actual months.
So then like everyone made fun ofme after a while because they're like, wasn't your anniversary last?
Anyway, so we went away to Algonquin,Maine, which is where we met 11 years ago.

(03:07):
It was amazing.
We stayed at this gorgeous Airbnb.
We waited a little too long, butit's like a small little place.
So a lot of the stuff was taken.
And so we stumbled upon we were the firstpeople to stay in this gorgeous Airbnb in Wells, Maine, which is the town just above Ogunquit.

(03:28):
And I just want to give it a shout outbecause we were the first to stay there.
It's the quiet three bedroom beach cabin getaway.
And the hostess Samantha is in Wells, Maine.
It was just the two of us and our twodogs, but this was the only option.
And last minute, it was so perfect.
Like it was this three bedroom,but it was a really small cabin.

(03:48):
So it didn't feel like we were in this mansion.
And they were just awesome hostsand really accommodated us.
And they knew we were bringing our dogs, so theyput out a little dog bowl, which was so cute.

VOICEOVER (04:00):
It was

TREY GERRALD (04:00):
really great.
I actually missed you a lot.
I was telling David that this is like thefirst time I've wanted to return from a vacation because I am having so much fun doing this podcast and collaborating with you.
So I'm so happy to be here.
How are you, Chelsey?
How was your week?

CHELSEY DONN (04:16):
Oh, my God.
First of all, I missed you a lot, too.
I was like trying not to be a codependent andallow you to have your anniversary weekend.
So I just want you to know it was alot of effort, but I did miss you also.
Yeah, I've had a good week.
I just got a brand new puppy, whichis very exciting and very exciting.

(04:37):
Exhausting in all of the ways.
So I don't sleep anymore, so we're justgonna have to let that go, but she's worth it because she's really cute.

TREY GERRALD (04:46):
And what is your puppy's name?

CHELSEY DONN (04:48):
My puppy's name is Goldie and Maybe we'll.
We're cheering

TREY GERRALD (04:53):
for Goldie, we're

CHELSEY DONN (04:54):
cheering for Goldie.
She's named after GoldieHawn, but she's Goldie, Don

TREY GERRALD (04:58):
David asked me how you came up with the name Goldie.
And I was like, I haven't asked, actually.

CHELSEY DONN (05:02):
Yeah, I love.
I'm like The biggest Goldie Hawn fan ever,always like, love her so much, In fact, my friends came over to meet Goldie and we had to decide which Goldie Hawn movie we were gonna watch, just in Goldie's honor, We picked, uh, House Sitter, it's, it's Goldie Hawn.

(05:23):
And Steve Martin.
Oh my God.
It's not as, I guess like it's notas mainstream, but it's just so fun.
And I just love it so much.
And she's just amazing ineverything that she does.
So she could do no, no wrong in my book.
And Steve Martin, it's like Steve Martin at hisbest, like second to Father of the Bride for me.

VOICEOVER (05:45):
It

CHELSEY DONN (05:45):
was fun.
We enjoyed it.
We had a great time.
I think Goldie liked it.
She didn't, she didn't complain.
So,

TREY GERRALD (05:52):
Overboard was one of my favorite movies as a kid.
We used to watch it relentlessly.
Well, congratulations on Goldie.
I know that Goldie has entered your life in avery wonderful time, and we are very happy that Goldie is part of the crew of Review That Review.

CHELSEY DONN (06:06):
Yes, she's the head of security.
So she's going to keep an eye out for us.
I think that we should probably ledge a complaint.
Okay.
So my complaint is, you know, like when yougo on a website and they're like, you have to spend X number of dollars to get free shipping.

VOICEOVER (06:25):
Like,

CHELSEY DONN (06:26):
I hate you.
I like, I just feel manipulated because Ifeel I think I always land just shy, like I'll be like 2 short of the free shipping, right?
And then I'm like, well, is it worthit for me to spend like 6 for shipping?
Or like, would I prefer that6 in the form of an item?

(06:47):
And now I have to scour your site for like an 8item in order to really make this math work out.
And then I'm probably going toget something that I don't need.
And I just think, why can'twe just give free shipping?
Like, I don't like free shipping minimums.
I feel like they're manipulative.
I think they're doing it on purpose.
I don't know.

(07:08):
Just stop it with this.
Do you have this problem?
Like when you're like a dollar away,

TREY GERRALD (07:12):
I've noticed it with just minimums.
Like when you're gettingfood delivery, like takeout,

CHELSEY DONN (07:17):
exactly.

TREY GERRALD (07:18):
It happens a lot where it's like, I have.
Noticed many times you'll always be likea dollar to 75 cents off and the cheapest thing is like a side of rice or like a side of broccoli and that's always like gonna put you up like five dollars like I do think that someone is being strategic about that.

CHELSEY DONN (07:39):
Yeah, it's definitely strategic.
Also, like, I wish that theycould keep track in a day.
Like my, you know, I have anew puppy, so I'll go on Chewy.
com and they'll have minimums and I'llgo on and like, I'll buy a few items.
So I'll get the free shipping and then I'llbe like, Oh, I forgot to get something.
So then I want to just order that onething, but I can't because I have to fill up my cart and I just feel like.

(08:06):
I've already invested in this business.
You're you don't you couldput it all in the same box.
Why?
Why?
Why?
I'm lodging a complaint.

TREY GERRALD (08:17):
You know, complaint heard.

CHELSEY DONN (08:19):
Thank you.

TREY GERRALD (08:19):
That is such a like common occurrence complaint.
Like I have felt the same frustrations before.
So I appreciate you voicing it.

CHELSEY DONN (08:28):
Thank you.
I feel better now that I got that off my chest.

TREY GERRALD (08:32):
I think I feel okay.
I feel like maybe I could havespelled out Levitic gifts.
Stronger, but regardless, let's justmove into some written online complaints.
How do you feel about that?
I feel great about that.

CHELSEY DONN (08:44):
As you guys already know, if you're listening to Episode 10, we are your trusty Review Queens.
We each bring in a review from the internetthat we feel needs to be inspected.

TREY GERRALD (08:55):
We read you the review, we break it down, and then we rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns.
It's a very regal processthat we like to call a review.
Assess that kvetch.
And kvetch means complaint.

CHELSEY DONN (09:09):
Oh,

TREY GERRALD (09:09):
I'm compelling,

CHELSEY DONN (09:11):
Trey.
You're Yiddish.
It gets better every week.
Review That Review.
Okay.

TREY GERRALD (09:21):
Oh boy.
All right.
So this week, I have a special reviewthat was sent to me by a friend.
Okay.
That was too long to be a listener voicemail.
This is from Yelp.
Okay.
It is a two star review for a restaurantcalled Splash at the Boathouse, which is in Burlington, Vermont.

(09:46):
This is from Craig N.
I hate to give a joint two stars,but I simply couldn't ignore what we were told by our waitstaff.
I'll get to that in a moment.
Backing up, my hot, blonde, German wife and Idecided to meet the best pilot I ever flew with.

(10:08):
My buddy Jeff and his wife, includingtheir chihuahua, decided to fly their seaplane up from Ticonderoga to meet us.
I thought, what a better placefor them to dock their 2.
5 million machine, but right there, afterthey got a ton of attention from this flyby and flawless landing, they joined us at our table, right at the water on the patio.

(10:38):
Let me tell you the positives first.
Our server was super awesome, and ourdrinks were strong and out of this world.
You know, it set the stage for a great night.
We had about three rounds apiece.
But, to my astonishment, my best bud Jeffdowned five whiskey sours in about 20 minutes as we were catching up on good ol times.

(11:03):
Just a quick side note, Jeff, all caps,HATES, Seafood and has a reaction to it, but he doesn't care what anyone else eats.
He just usually picks the steak or chicken.
So it was when we were told this by ourawesome wait staff, dot a dot, bless her heart.
My wife wanted to have the haddock, butasked if she could have it blackened.

(11:28):
It was to all of our utmost astonishmentthat we were Explained that all fish are prepared in the morning and can't accommodate any special requests.
Being that my bud Jeff is also a math whiz,knowing what time it was that evening, quickly realized that our seafood sits for more time during the day than our old boss Doug spends time seeing who's wearing the right shoes and develops more elaborate spreadsheets than Mr.

(11:57):
Excel himself.
I digress.
Immediately, Jeff's reaction to the seafoodnews set his stomach on a whirlwind worse than a 21 year old drinking for the first time after eating four White Castle burgers.
Jeff started throwing up in his mouth.
Not once, but twice, Ali, their Chihuahua,started barking frantically as he knew his owner was in trouble, and he was, for exclamation marks, Jeff, being the stud he is, got up and pretty much did a fifth grade's first place standing long jump and hurtled over the big rope parameters in a heartbeat and flashed over to the nearest point of water to hurl all that he drank, Poor Jeff for having that kind of reaction to being told that they cannot blacken fish because it is prepared in advance in the morning.

(12:55):
Bottom line, if you want freshseafood, don't come here.
Come here for the drinks, views, and service.
That's it.
By the way, since Jeff had too much to drinkand was way too green, his wife flew them home, and she doesn't even have a license.

(13:16):
Truth be told.
She can outfly both Jeff andme, 17 exclamation marks.

CHELSEY DONN (13:28):
Wow, wow, wow, wow.

TREY GERRALD (13:31):
What the actual F?

CHELSEY DONN (13:33):
I mean, so much to unpack here with Craig N.
First of all, Thank you to yourfriend who found this review,

TREY GERRALD (13:43):
Mark.

CHELSEY DONN (13:44):
Thank you, Mark, for finding this.
What a find.
Great job.
I kind of felt like I was on a scavengerhunt when this was going on, looking for the details that actually involve the restaurant.
Um, I just have, I know the weirdestdetails now about Craig's life, and I know not a single thing about the food.

(14:07):
Also, like, Your friend was puking because hehad a million whiskies, like he, thank you, it doesn't make any, it makes like no sense, like, first of all, yes, like, that is gross, if that's true, that they prepare the fish in advance, I, I can't imagine how that would be true, is that, like, do you think that that's true,

TREY GERRALD (14:30):
it can't, it can't be,

CHELSEY DONN (14:31):
Maybe they, like, marinate it in advance?
Like, I don't, like, I like, um, Jeff.
I also don't eat fish.

TREY GERRALD (14:40):
Me either.

CHELSEY DONN (14:41):
Oh my god, I love that about you.
Anyway, I digress, as does Craig.
I mean, the only information Craig gave usabout this restaurant was positive, right?
I know,

TREY GERRALD (14:53):
right.
That's

CHELSEY DONN (14:54):
so weird.
What's the name of the restaurant again?
Oh, Splash at the Boathouse.
What a splash they had, my goodness.
God, like such, just suchpretentiousness, I could puke.

TREY GERRALD (15:06):
I mean, if I were to ever try to communicate the definition of the word douche, like this is like, When Mark sent me this, I thought, Oh, my, I like want to take a shower.
I feel so gross.

VOICEOVER (15:21):
Agreed.

TREY GERRALD (15:22):
Jeff must think that he is like Jeff Foxworthy.
Like he thinks he's very funny.
So there's a few like jokes in here.
Wait, Jeff thinks he's

CHELSEY DONN (15:32):
funny or Craig thinks he's funny?

TREY GERRALD (15:34):
Sorry.
Craig, right?
Craig thinks he's a comedian.

CHELSEY DONN (15:37):
Yes, for sure.

TREY GERRALD (15:38):
And what does that have to do with any, like, no one's gonna get, like, your inside joke about your old boss.

CHELSEY DONN (15:43):
Very strange.

TREY GERRALD (15:45):
Also, what does the Chihuahua Ollie have to do with anything?

CHELSEY DONN (15:50):
And what is the fact that he has a hot blonde German wife have to do with anything?
He didn't even bring her up again.
It's like, he introduced this character and thenhe just let her, like, what happened to the wife?

TREY GERRALD (16:02):
Also, why do we need to know that this Trey, Trey,

CHELSEY DONN (16:08):
Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, I was confused.
He started in the beginning saying somethingabout having the flight with like the best pilot he ever had and then he ends with the wife.

(16:30):
Are those, is that the same?

TREY GERRALD (16:32):
So he's saying that he and his hot blonde German wife, Greg, decided to meet the best pilot he ever flew with, who is Jeff.
Oh, so Craig and Jeff are both pilots.

CHELSEY DONN (16:45):
Craig's a pilot.

TREY GERRALD (16:49):
I think.
Oh, maybe he isn't a pilot, but he'sthe best pilot he ever flew with.

CHELSEY DONN (16:54):
Yeah.

TREY GERRALD (16:55):
Is his friend, Jeff.

CHELSEY DONN (16:57):
I think so.
But then he, but then in the end hewas like, he said that Jeff's wife flew the plane without a license.
She can

TREY GERRALD (17:04):
outfly both Jeff and me.
So I do think Oh, then maybe he is a

CHELSEY DONN (17:08):
pilot.
I don't know.
He's gross.
I feel like this is like that, that BillyMadison quote where they're like, I am now dumber for having listened to this.
Like, I, I really,

TREY GERRALD (17:19):
Well, on that note, I am not a math whiz, but Craig points out that they had about three rounds a piece.
But then uses the word astonishment two orthree times to his astonishment, Jeff down five whiskey sours in about 20 minutes.
So that doesn't add up.
If you have three rounds the whole time, but thenhe had five and you were there before he was.

(17:43):
So what?
Three rounds of five whisky.
Well, because

CHELSEY DONN (17:47):
he, because apparently Jeff drinks like a fish.
I think Jeff just drinks very fast.

TREY GERRALD (17:53):
But Jeff throws up because of the way the fish is prepared, not because he had five whiskies hours and was so like, Done, but he couldn't fly the plane at the end.

CHELSEY DONN (18:02):
It doesn't make any sense because Craig is giving us all the details to support the case that he's fighting against.
Like, it's bizarre.
It's like, well, of course he threw up.
He had five whiskey sours and like 20 minutes.

TREY GERRALD (18:17):
I'm also curious.
How do you throw up in your mouth?
Twice.
If you throw up in your mouth once,aren't you gonna then have to get it out?
Like, how do you then throw up andthen throw up again in your mouth?

CHELSEY DONN (18:27):
I imagine that it was like a, and then he like, just was like, let me get out of here.
And also that poor body of waterthat's now covered in Jeff's puke.
Ugh, disgusting.
Okay, so also like I'm a little bit upset thatthis reviewer's name is Craig because my dad's name is Craig and obviously like I had a lot more high hopes for Craig N just based on name alone.

(18:51):
So disappointed in Craig N.
Also, he just like he's all over the place.
Like he starts with like this,he calls it a joint, right?
And then bless her heart.
Remember that part?

TREY GERRALD (19:04):
He is from Texas.

CHELSEY DONN (19:06):
Okay.
All right.

TREY GERRALD (19:07):
It is funny to me because it says, bottom line, if you want fresh seafood, all caps don't come here.
But A, they didn't even have the fish.
Yeah.
And they're telling us that it's notfresh because I think this waiter was uninformed or said something incorrectly.
Like, it doesn't make any sense.
How do you prepare fish in the morning?

CHELSEY DONN (19:26):
Yeah, no,

TREY GERRALD (19:27):
it would be cold.
Like how

CHELSEY DONN (19:29):
it doesn't, I don't know.
It just, it doesn't make any sense to me.
I'm not buying that this placewould pre cook their fish.
And then what microwave it like, yeah,

TREY GERRALD (19:40):
that doesn't make any sense.
I feel like this whole review is solacking in value because It's just sort of Craig bragging about his friend.

CHELSEY DONN (19:49):
So gross.
Like I feel like Craig wrote this review so thaton Monday he could like read it to his friends.

TREY GERRALD (19:58):
I mean, I hear that.
I mean, it does feel like whobrags about their friends 2.
5 million anything.
I mean, that's just so odd.
Anyway, the spelling and the grammaris actually pretty Fantastic.
I wonder if Craig was, like, highlyeducated aside from being a pilot, which is its own highly education requirements.

CHELSEY DONN (20:17):
True.
I feel like I'm struggling as a ReviewQueen with the entertainment value.
Because I was laughing a lot duringthis because it was so ridiculous

VOICEOVER (20:28):
and

CHELSEY DONN (20:29):
over the top and crazy and the details were like wackadoo and I like I said felt like I was on a scavenger hunt trying to figure out when are we what are we talking about like when are we talking about Splash at the Boathouse because like I'm missing it and so I'm like do I attribute that entertainment To Craig for entertainment because I was entertained or is it that I was entertained because people like Craig exists and would feel the need to write such a novella about absolute nonsense on Yelp for some person to read and not have any like Was that why I was laughing?

(21:09):
I don't know.

TREY GERRALD (21:10):
Maybe Craig was drunk from the three rounds when they wrote this.

CHELSEY DONN (21:13):
I did think that.
I did wonder about that.
I'm glad you brought that up becauseI was thinking the same thing.
I was like, I wonder if he was like hammeredand writing this on the plane ride back.

TREY GERRALD (21:24):
I guess I just feel like, I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN (21:27):
What do you think?
Do you feel like we attribute theentertainment to Craig or are we entertained because of the ridiculousness of it?

TREY GERRALD (21:34):
I think it's entertaining because it's Ludicrous, right?
Like it doesn't, it's, it's completely invaluableto like, there's, there's nothing going on here, but like someone who's wacky, but like, I just instantly am turned off by like the bragging about the wife, bragging about Ticonderoga 2.5 million, bragging about how much they drink.
Ugh, bragging about how he landed the plane.

(21:55):
It's.
go away like bragging

CHELSEY DONN (21:56):
about this what emotional support chihuahua

TREY GERRALD (22:01):
but then it has but it has nothing to do with the restaurant like i think it was a miscommunication from the waiter that was misinterpreted and i don't believe that jeff threw up because of the information i mean maybe but i also think he threw up because he was so loaded

CHELSEY DONN (22:15):
i think it's very obvious like i

TREY GERRALD (22:16):
like oh god a whiskey sap

CHELSEY DONN (22:18):
Ugh, and five in how long?
20 minutes?
That what it said?

TREY GERRALD (22:23):
So gross.
I think I could crown this.
I

CHELSEY DONN (22:25):
think I can crown it too, but before I crown it, I just want to make sure that I point out again, that Mark is an absolute review finding queen, regardless of how I should grade Craig N.
I feel like I'm so happy that thisreview was read and I was thoroughly entertained and Mark just, Thank you again.

TREY GERRALD (22:45):
Thank you, Mark.
The queens are tabulating.
Okay.
Do you think you're ready?

CHELSEY DONN (22:52):
Okay.
I'm ready.
Are you ready?

TREY GERRALD (22:54):
I'm ready.
Okay.

VOICEOVER (22:55):
Total

CHELSEY DONN (23:00):
Score.
Okay, it is unanimous.
One crown from both of the queens.
I feel like this is an example of like, you knowhow everyone in the reality review is always like, if I could have given this zero crowns, I would.
I just feel like I got no informationthat was pertinent to the restaurant.
Like if I read this, I would be entertainedand think it was funny, but it wouldn't, it wouldn't inform me whether or not I should eat here, which is why I'm probably going to Yelp in the first place.

TREY GERRALD (23:26):
I mean, I still have the half in my other hand, because I was debating between one and one and a half.
And I just went with one because it's, it'sjust, it's a review of Jeff's successful life.
It's not a review of this restaurant,

CHELSEY DONN (23:40):
right?

TREY GERRALD (23:41):
I do know that my friend Mark found this because they were going to this restaurant and it's like, it's amazing.
So I just think like,

CHELSEY DONN (23:47):
yeah, there's no way from reading this review.
I would be like, hell no, I'mnot going to that restaurant.
Like, no, not impactful.

TREY GERRALD (23:55):
No, I just, the entertainment was also the skis factor.
So I just gave one like, I'msorry to splash at the boathouse.
This is attached to your company.
Agreed.
Yikes.
Agreed.

CHELSEY DONN (24:08):
Wow.
All right, my queens, we have reachedthe most regal portion of our show.
My Royal Highness.
Okay, well, I'm inducting someonethat is Pretty special to both of us.
I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna inductEmily Cratter because she deserves it.
Emily Cratter is the personthat introduced Trey and I.

(24:31):
None of this would have been possible without her.
She is the biggest cheerleader of both of us.
She is the first person to Reach out, comment, youknow, support us whenever we have a new episode, whenever anything happens, she is the first one to be there, she's so busy and has so much going on in her life, and yet she still finds the time to compliment us and build us up and let us know that she's just like, Belling and she's amazing.

(24:58):
Also, Emily and I, we've been playing phone tagfor like 10 years and we do this really fun thing where we'll like pick up the phone even if we have 30 seconds to talk, just because it's been like so long since we've been playing phone tag.
And I just think that says a lot about her and ourfriendship and our commitment to being friends.

(25:18):
So Emily Crowder, I hope you love thisbecause we love you so much and it is.
I mean, it is beyond time that weinduct you as our Royal Highness.
I love you, Em.

TREY GERRALD (25:32):
I mean, I fully concur.
Yes.
She is the female version of the mensch.

CHELSEY DONN (25:36):
Oh, she is the biggest, the biggest, the best mensch.
I love it.
Okay, well, we did it.
We're at the end of this episode.
Listener voicemail.
Stop.

TREY GERRALD (25:50):
Oh my goodness.
All right.
Today we have a listener voicemailthat is so extreme that we have to include it in our 10th episode.
And here it is.
Chelsey, get ready.
I

CHELSEY DONN (26:02):
can't wait to hear it, I'm scared.

JOJO (26:04):
Hi, this is JoJo, calling in with a review from Joshua A.
of Peace's Bar in New York,left on April 6th, 2009.

TREY GERRALD (26:14):
So just for context here, Peace's Bar is uh, And

JOJO (26:21):
it reads, Pieces of broken mirror, Yep, that's what was strewn everywhere as the bouncer pulled a lesbian slash ex con out of the bar in a headlock and knocked her right into a mirror, and that was really when we knew it was time to leave, Pieces, as made apparent by their logo and uninspired theme night, is the quintessential 90s gay bar, Being that it's 2009 and the Golden Girls only runs in syndicated reruns, Pieces I would venture to say is less nostalgic than it is tragic.

(26:55):
Pushy patrons were so sweet as to help medrench my shirt in my own drink on a few instances, Which was fine anyway, since my vodka soda may as well have been a glass of water, I think that having an aneurysm might be slightly more enjoyable than going to pieces, At least one of the doctors at the hospital might be hot, Cause you're certainly not going to find anyone mildly attractive here, No,

CHELSEY DONN (27:17):
Oh my god, Let

JOJO (27:20):
me do it one more time just so you have a second take,

CHELSEY DONN (27:23):
JoJo, we've heard it.
We

JOJO (27:24):
love JoJo.
We love

CHELSEY DONN (27:25):
it.
JoJo, first of all, you don't need a second take.
That was such a good reading.
That was amazing.
Wow.
I'm blown away.
We have the best listeners.

TREY GERRALD (27:37):
I mean, that is a review from 2009?
JoJo, have you just been sittingon this review and now you have the opportunity to share it with the world?
I have been to pieces.
Yes, me too.
And, and it's just, you know, it is what it is.
It's like you go there and you get a drinkand it's like, Of course that's watered down, that's like any bar you go to.
It's true,

CHELSEY DONN (27:56):
but also like, high points on that review for entertainment, like, I was thoroughly taken on a journey, entertained, lots of imagery, the picture of what a lesbian being thrown into the A lesbian ex con being thrown into a mirror.

TREY GERRALD (28:14):
I also love Joshua, the reviewer's storytelling of the patrons were so nice to drench my shirt.
Oh my God, hilarious.

CHELSEY DONN (28:23):
So funny.
Thank you, Joshua.

TREY GERRALD (28:25):
Thank you, Jojo, for bringing this review.

CHELSEY DONN (28:29):
What a queen.
And also, like, I think Iwould crown Joshua pretty high.
Should we crown Joshua?

TREY GERRALD (28:35):
Yeah,

VOICEOVER (28:36):
let's

CHELSEY DONN (28:37):
do

VOICEOVER (28:39):
it.

CHELSEY DONN (28:40):
Total score.

TREY GERRALD (28:41):
I'm just saying four.

CHELSEY DONN (28:42):
Yeah, same.
Unanimous four crowns.
I just took away one crown because like yousaid, like, this is like kind of a, like diet.
I don't know.
We are, our expectations should be pretty low.
If we go to this bar, we know why we're there,but high, high points on everything else.
Like entertained, totally believingthat this is the experience.

TREY GERRALD (29:01):
I took one crown away because I didn't really like the low blow of saying that no one that works there is hot.
That's sort of like unnecessary.
It doesn't have anything to do with like working.
I guess, well, I guess sometimes gay bars,bartenders have their very muscular shirtless servers, but I don't think that that's

CHELSEY DONN (29:17):
the MO.
at pieces though.

TREY GERRALD (29:20):
No, no, but I, I do think the chances of, um, like a lesbian ex con getting into a fight are pretty high at pieces.
And that is why we love pieces.

CHELSEY DONN (29:29):
Love it.
And that is why we love Jojo.
Jojo,

TREY GERRALD (29:33):
you get five crowns, Jojo.
Jojo

CHELSEY DONN (29:35):
gets five crowns without a doubt.
Uh, if you don't have an agentalready, we got to sign you.
That was a great reading.

TREY GERRALD (29:41):
And Jojo was going to give us a second read because Jojo's the prowess.
So, you know what?
Kudos to JoJo.
We love you.

CHELSEY DONN (29:48):
Okay.

TREY GERRALD (29:49):
Well, Queen, we did it.
That's another round in the ear holes.

CHELSEY DONN (29:52):
I hate when you say that.
We gotta think of a new one.
Okay.
Thank you guys so much for joining us today.
If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

TREY GERRALD (30:01):
If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy.
If you want to be like, Queen JoJo,hit up our voicemail box, y'all.
It's 1 850 REVIEW ZERO.
You can read us a review, just like JoJo, oryou can lodge your own complaint, or I really would love if people would start calling in and leaving voicemails where they induct someone from their life for My Royal Highness.

CHELSEY DONN (30:24):
You can follow us if you'd like.
Or if you would please, at The ReviewQueens, and I'm at Chelsey BD, begrudgingly.

TREY GERRALD (30:33):
And I do want to just clarify, Chelsey spells her name C H E L S E Y.
Correct.
And I'm at Trey Gerald, with two R's.
Okay, you know, we have weirdfamily members, apparently.
Anyway, please become a member of the RoyalCourt by joining our Patreon at patreon.

(30:53):
com slash Review That Review.
You can also watch live clips from everyrecording session for free on YouTube.
Please go subscribe and watch.

CHELSEY DONN (31:02):
Yes.
And remember, ignore the haters.
You're a queen.
Gender

TREY GERRALD (31:06):
non-specific.
Queen,

CHELSEY DONN (31:08):
obviously.
Thank you so much for listening to that review.
We hope you enjoyed it, and as we've mentionedat the top of the show, it really helps us.
If you could please share the podcast, leavea review, get us up in the algorithms, do all the magic, and help us out so that when we come back after this hiatus, we can come back.
Bigger and better than ever, baby.

VOICEOVER (31:28):
We love you.
Sign up directly on Apple Podcasts tohear our weekly Members Only After Show.
Unlock additional benefits when you becomea Patreon member at reviewthatreview.
com slash Patreon.
Follow us on all the socials at the Review Queensand join our mailing list at reviewthatreview.
com.
Our Kvetch line is open 24seven at 1 850 REVIEW ZERO.

(31:51):
Don't be a Meshugganah,call the Kvetch line today!
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