Do Your Partner Expectations Live Up to Reality?

S6 Episode 4: Do Your Partner Expectations Live Up to Reality?

 

Episode Summary

We all want the “ideal” partner when it comes to romantic relationships.  The concepts of Prince Charming, a soul mate, or the perfect woman has been thrust down our throats since childhood.  These archetypes influence our desires and help shape our expectations.  As a result, we often search for a partner that meets a long list of characteristics we want in a mate.

The reality is, most people will never find their perfect match, because that person does not exist.  If you want to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship, you must be honest with yourself about what you really need in a partner, as well as what you offer in return.  Placing unrealistic expectations on yourself or another person will leave you disappointed and alone.  Appreciate the person you have instead of wishing they were someone else.

Instead, figure out your motivations for valuing specific traits over others.  Is it more important to have a partner who is a financial success than one who treats you with respect?  Is physical attractiveness more important than communication style or trustworthiness?  Only you can answer those questions.  If your partner treats you well, that should mean more than if they can last all night.

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how dangerous it can be to go over your agreed upon budget when purchasing a home.

 

Show Notes

When two people get together, each person comes with their own sense of what the relationship is going to be. This includes who your partner is and what they will bring to the partnership. The question is: Have your expectations met your reality? We all have our laundry lists when it comes to romantic relationships, but often they are not very realistic.

 

Doing a thoughtful deep dive periodically on whether your partner has met your expectations is important. But it’s just as important to reflect on whether or not you are meeting your partner’s expectations, too. Each of you should honor the commitments you made, from financial security to fidelity.

 

Ask yourself this: Are you seeing your partner for who they really are, or what you desperately want them to be? They may not be able to deliver on your expectations, and it’s not always because they’re a bad person. It depends on what your expectations are and if your partner’s personality and priorities are aligned.

 

On one hand, the more your partner meets or even exceeds your expectations, your expectations may increase. You may learn their level of competency in certain areas and know they are capable of more. On the other hand, longer partnerships tend to leave room for you to be more realistic about what your partner is capable of, simply because you know them so well.

 

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When a partner wants you to go above your agreed-upon budget to purchase a home. Before a couple purchases a home, they need to be realistic about their financial situation. It’s foolish and shortsighted to overspend on something that significantly impacts your daily existence. It’s not just a budget, it’s a blueprint of your future together.

 

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