If You Need to Sell the Relationship to Your Partner, it isn't Worth Buying

S5 Episode 7: If You Need to Sell the Relationship to Your Partner, it isn’t Worth Buying

 

Episode Summary

Successful relationships take work.  Both people have to be open to understanding their partner’s wants and needs.  If one member of the partnership is not interested in meeting the other’s expectations, then trying to force a relationship will be a futile endeavor.  You should never have to convince your partner of your value, nor should you try to morph yourself into someone you think they want. 

No person likes a hard sell.  It reeks of desperation and feels manipulative.  A forced relationship that is not the right fit will be full of resentment and ripe for abuse.  Moreover, why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who is not willing to put in the time and effort?  Even if you get what you want in the short term, it will feel like settling to your partner and eventually to you.  

If a person does not want to commit to you, do not take it personally.  You may be exactly what they are looking for, but the timing or circumstances prevent them from acting on their feelings.  Ultimately, both individuals have to be on the same page and share the same mindset for the relationship to move forward.

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how frustrating it is when men do not realize how difficult it is to be a woman in today’s society. 

 

Show Notes

What’s the secret to finding the right partner? One way to approach it is to imagine yourself as a product. When you’re dating, you’re putting yourself out there—marketing yourself. The other people out there may see you or “the product” and realize you’re exactly what they’re looking for, know you’re not right for them, or even be somewhere in the middle.

 

However, you should never have to convince another person of your value. If they don’t see what you offer, why chase after them? You’re not a sale item—you’re full-priced! You should never accept being a second choice or a backup. If you are being realistic about what you offer, don’t settle for less.

 

Acting desperate or trying harder to make a relationship work is not the answer. People can pick up on a hard sell from a mile away. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are trying too hard, it might be time to walk away. If it doesn’t work out, it’s not about you. It’s about the other person not valuing what you bring to the table.

 

How many people try to shove their foot into a shoe even though it doesn’t fit (metaphorically speaking)? Sometimes people recognize what you’re offering, but it’s still not the right fit. Any amount of effort you put in after that point is a waste of your time and energy.

 

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When men refuse to understand that life is much harder for women. It is a false belief that women have it easier than men. Women deal with societal pressures, physical threats, and economical inequalities—just to name a few. There are always exceptions, but generally speaking, the female existence is vastly different from men’s existence.

 

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