Infidelity and Life Stage: Destructive or Self-Discovery

S5 Episode 4: Infidelity and Life Stage: Destructive or Self-Discovery

 

Episode Summary

Just as people evolve over time, so do their relationships.  As a person enters a new life stage, their priorities shift and their needs, wants and expectations change.  Unfortunately, as feelings and circumstances change, dissatisfaction in the relationship creates the opportunity for infidelity to enter into the picture.

When a partnership is built on respect, trust, communication, and acceptance, the two people involved are either able to jointly navigate the challenges and stay together, or they part ways amicably. For relationships that are missing one or several of the foundational elements, infidelity often serves as a catalyst for ending the unhappy union.

Self-discovery is an important aspect of self-awareness.  Instead of engaging in destructive behavior, honor your commitment and your partner by being honest with them about your feelings before rushing off to find Mr. or Ms. Right.  If you choose to leave the relationship, be mindful of the short-term and long-term impact it will have on you and your ex-partner. Everyone deserves to be in a fulfilling relationship.  Just be thoughtful about how you go about it. 

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when a person changes their manner of dress or appearance to please a new partner.

 

Show Notes

Infidelity has a significant impact on people in their romantic relationships. Cheating in a long-term, monogamous relationship is a bad choice. But sometimes, down the road in a relationship, you simply realize it isn’t working—and you feel trapped. For some people, infidelity is sort of a tool they use to free themselves.

 

Some people want to have it all—someone to share the division of labor while also having fun on the side. But in other cases, a relationship has stopped being beneficial or has simply fizzled out. These people may cheat and use this new relationship as a catalyst to leave. It’s not an excuse for the behavior, but it’s easier to understand. 

 

If you are a person who is cheating as an avenue of self-discovery, you still owe it to your partner to tell them the truth. Your feelings are still valid, but you’ve made a commitment to the other person, so you should be honest with them. The only way a relationship can be truly beneficial is if both people are having a positive experience. 

 

As humans, we have a base need for connection. When that’s missing in a relationship, it can lead to exploration of other options. You may also find yourself looking for another partner if you didn’t take the time to find your right-fit partner at a younger age. Rushing is not the answer. Building a strong relationship with the right person is.

 

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When people change their style of dress or appearance to please a new partner. Adjusting the way you dress to appease your partner’s insecurity will lead to resentment—towards them and yourself. Because personal style is such a big part of someone’s personal choices, this could signal something sinister about the relationship.

 

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