Relationship Endgame: Companion, Partner or Caregiver

S5 Episode 6: Relationship Endgame: Companion, Partner or Caregiver

 

Episode Summary

Romantic relationships are as varied as the people in them.  People come together for a plethora of reasons: companionship, because they are looking for a life partner, or because they want someone to take care of them. While there is no right or wrong type of relationship, you should be honest about what you are really looking for from another person.  

Every type of relationship has the potential to evolve or devolve from the original understanding, so be aware of the potential for hurt feelings.  With each relationship, your romantic wants and needs become more refined.  Make sure to clearly communicate and be open to the possibility that your current partner may not be willing or able to meet your expectations. 

Understanding your relationship endgame will help you avoid entering into relationships that are a mismatch for the future you envision.  For a relationship to be successful, each party needs to be on the same page.  Moreover, it is a mistake to stay in a relationship that is unsatisfactory, just because it fits your endgame. 

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when your partner treats the relationship like a competition.

 

Show Notes

Thinking long term, are you looking for companionship, partnership, or a caregiver? Companionship is having a person to share things with—like experiences and intimacy—without the commitment of the relationship. Partnerships are a committed relationship. A lot of people also look for someone who takes care of them in one way or another, financially for instance. This is the definition of a caregiver.

 

Each of these types of relationships is valid, so long as each person in the relationship is honest. Any of these has the potential to be healthy and successful for both people. The difference with a partnership is that compromise will be necessary, because both people need to have their needs met.

 

Any one of these relationship types can evolve—or devolve. For instance, a partnership can turn into a caregiver relationship. A companionship can turn into a partnership. It’s important to know what your endgame is, as well as the endgame of the other person involved. And remember that you shouldn’t hang your future on hope alone.

 

In some cases, shifting the dynamic of your relationship is the healthier option. For instance, if your relationship isn’t working and you decide to stay together for the kids. Some couples will cohabitate as companions—and that’s perfectly okay if they can do it in a healthy way.

 

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When your partner treats the relationship like a competition with you. When your partner is always competing with you, they are constantly trying to outdo you. They try to make you jealous, while often they are the ones themselves who are jealous. It makes it difficult to work together towards a common goal.

 

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