Should You Stay in Your League?

S6 Episode 2: Should You Stay in Your League?

 

Episode Summary

Humans love to categorize.  It is instinctual and we all do it.  Whether we realize it or not, we all assign ourselves and others a certain “value” as a mate and then look for our match.  Unfortunately, we often focus on superficial traits like looks, age, socio-economic status or education, instead of core values and commonalities.    

When people try to partner with a person who appears to be more desirable than themselves, it can lead to disappointment or disapproval by outside forces.  The individual themselves or others see the coupling as a mismatch and try to influence the more desirable person to justify their partner choice.

A Romancipated person knows that superficial traits fade or can be lost over time.  They focus on a partner’s qualities that make for a long-lasting, mutually beneficial relationship.  They also are realistic about what they bring to a relationship and temper their expectations of their partner.

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss the frustration of one partner making all of the decisions or plans and the other partner complaining when it is not to their liking. 

 

Show Notes

When pursuing romantic relationships, should you stay in your league? This topic might be influencing your romantic life more than you realize. Sometimes people do come together from different leagues and levels of status, but generally if people try to date outside of their league, they miss out on finding the happiness they’re looking for.

 

When there is a superficial mismatch, it can lead the person who’s out of the other’s league to look for another attractive mate. That said, sometimes the superficial matters much less than what’s on the inside. If your values match, you might still be able to make it work.

 

Consider when you see a couple walking down the street where one is very attractive, and the other person is much less so. Most of us would jump to the conclusion that something is happening behind the scenes—like something else is driving this match we can’t see like sex or money.

 

Another type of mismatch more commonly seen is education. Usually, if a highly educated person brings home a less educated person, their family rejects them. Even if they are the kindest, most wonderful person, the family has a hard time looking past it. As humans, we naturally classify ourselves into certain leagues. But if you truly are a good match and have a relationship with mutual values and respect, you may be successful after all.

 

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When people always want their partner to make the decision and then complain. It’s a passive-aggressive move and shows a complete lack of appreciation for your partner. It’s okay if you struggle to make a decision, but if that’s the case, you shouldn’t criticize the person who follows through.

 

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