Send me a text! I'd LOVE to hear your feedback on this episode!
Email me your questions, topics, or comments to be featured on my show - whether anonymous or not - your choice. sandy@sandyknutrition.ca.
Follow me on all of my socials - @sandyknutrition everywhere.
Who am I? I don’t define myself by my past, but it’s a big part of my story. In 2010, my five-year-old daughter was diagnosed with cancer, and just a year later, I was too, but with thyroid cancer at 41. Fast forward to now, at 55, I’m navigating menopause and constantly learning what it truly means to thrive - body, mind, spirit and soul - to this next chapter of my life.
Along the way, I went back to college, became a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, earned numerous certifications, and started this podcast just before the pandemic. I come to you not only as a practitioner and a podcaster, but as a woman who’s lived it, someone driven by passion over profit, and a genuine desire to help others heal, grow, and live with more vitality, purpose, and joy.
I share a heart-led view of menopause as a reckoning, moving beyond symptom-chasing to examine identity, relationships, beliefs and purpose. Data on divorce, alcohol, friendship shifts and workplace gaps frames a practical path toward quiet, clarity and aligned choices.
• redefining menopause as a deeper life audit
• divorce trends and midlife relational shifts
• alcohol as coping and the cost to well-being
• workplace and financial pressures in menopause
• journaling and solitude as daily diagnostics
• metaphorical meaning of common symptoms
• balancing bioidentical hormones with inner work
• releasing limiting beliefs and victim mindset
• pruning friendships and renegotiating boundaries
• practical first steps toward aligned living
Important links:
Join my Substack for my deep, insightful and original short essays to support your wellness: https://sandykruse.substack.com/
Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandyknutrition/?hl=en
Please share this with one of your menopausal friends. And always remember when you rate, review, subscribe, you help to support my content and help me to keep going and bring these conversations to you each and every week.
Please rate & review my podcast with a few kind words on Apple or Spotify. Subscribe wherever you listen, share this episode with a friend, and follow me below. This truly gives back & helps me keep bringing amazing guests & topics every week.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandyknutrition/
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/sandyknutrition
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sandyknutrition
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIh48ov-SgbSUXsVeLL2qAg
Rumble: https://rumble.com/c/c-5461001
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sandyknutrition/
Substack: https://sandykruse.substack.com/
Podcast Website: https://sandykruse.ca
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sandy Kruse (00:02):
Hi everyone, it's me, Sandy Kruse of Sandy K
Nutrition Health and LifestyleQueen.
For years now, I've beenbringing to you conversations
about wellness from incredibleguests from all over the world.
Discover a fresh take onhealthy living for midlife and
(00:25):
beyond.
One that embraces balance andreason without letting only
science dictate every aspect ofour wellness.
Join me and my guests as weexplore ways that we can age
gracefully with in-depthconversations about the thyroid,
(00:48):
about hormones, and otheralternative wellness options for
you and your family.
True Wellness nurtures ahealthy body, mind, spirit, and
soul.
And we cover all of theseessential aspects to help you
live a balanced, joyful life.
(01:11):
Be sure to follow my show, rateit, review it, and share it.
Always remember, my friends,balanced living works.
Hi everyone, welcome to Sandy KNutrition Health and Lifestyle
(01:31):
Queen.
Today I have my solo episode,and I think this is a really
important episode because itcomes from a completely
different perspective aboutmenopause.
And this is actually an articlethat I wrote in Substack.
You can follow me there.
(01:51):
Most of you who follow me knowthat I am a registered holistic
nutritionist.
I do have multiplecertifications in endocrinology
and hormones, peptides andaging.
I am also a certified metabolicbalance coach.
I also had thyroid cancer at41.
And now I'm 55, going throughmenopause without a thyroid
(02:15):
gland.
And I think the discussionaround that is not, it's the
importance of the discussionaround that is underestimated
because there are many women whomay have their thyroid gland,
but it is not working properly.
And that in and of itself canaffect how you go through
(02:35):
menopause and hormones and more.
But this article, it's calledThe Great Uprooting: What No One
Tells You About Menopause,Beyond Hormones, A Midlife
Reckoning, and the Courage toEvolve.
(02:56):
You can follow me on Instagram,Facebook, YouTube, anywhere.
It's Sandy Knutrition.
And then my Substack issandycruz.substack.com.
And I like to write because Iam actually an English
literature graduate.
So writing is really part of mypassion.
(03:18):
So I'm going to read thisarticle to you because we hear
so much information aboutmenopause, but nobody really
talks about the more spiritualaspect of this really major
transition that women go throughin their lives.
Hey, allow me to begin.
(03:38):
This might not be an easy time.
There's rivers to cross andhills to climb.
Some days we might fall apart,and some nights might feel cold
and dark, but nobody wins afraidof losing.
And the hard roads are the onesworth choosing.
Someday we'll look back andsmile and know it was worth
(04:00):
every mile.
This is from the song startingover by Chris Stapleton.
Everyone is so busy listeningto all the menopause experts
speak about the benefits ofbioidentical hormones and
quieting all those menopausalsymptoms to contribute to our
longevity.
Great.
(04:20):
This is useful.
But what about the deepermeaning behind those symptoms
that we are so busy silencing?
I've come to realize that thereason I've been living through
what feels like the world'slongest perimenopause is this to
write this piece and in doingso help other women understand
(04:45):
the much deeper metaphysicalpurpose of this transition.
This isn't the medical story.
We already know that.
So what is the deeper meaningbehind this powerful transition
(05:06):
we call menopause?
These are quotes.
Wow, she's become such amiserable bitch.
She must hate her life.
She's become a complete lush,drinks heavily, is so wasted at
every event.
She's become a shut-in, goesnowhere, and sees no one.
She's getting a divorce after25 years of marriage.
(05:30):
Her health in every way hascrumbled.
She was diagnosed with cancer.
The hot flashes, vaginaldryness, and more have become my
living hell.
These are a few scenarios.
Perhaps you recognize some.
Maybe you don't remember any ofthem because you're too busy
(05:51):
drinking and trying to forgetthese feelings from deep within
your heart and your gut.
Menopause is so much more thanhot flashes, sleepless nights,
dryness, and wrinkles.
It is the fallout before therebuild.
If you choose to notice and seeit for what it is, is my heart
(06:17):
okay with all these changes?
Menopause is about living fromthe heart and not the head.
The peak divorce age, womentend to initiate divorce most
(06:49):
often between 45 and 55, thecore years of perimenopause and
menopause.
By the way, I will have thelinks to these uh research
studies where I have where Ifound them, and um, that will be
in the show notes.
In the UK, over 60% of divorcesin this age range were
(07:15):
initiated by women.
In the US, across all agegroups, 69% of divorces are
filed by women, often coincidingwith midlife transitions.
A survey of 1,000 menopausalwomen revealed that 70 to 73
(07:36):
percent believe menopausecontributed to marital
breakdown, triggering increasedarguments or domestic conflict.
Sixty-seven percent of thesewomen reported that menopause
raised the incidence of domesticdisputes.
(07:56):
Known as gray divorce, divorceamong couples over 50 has
doubled in recent decades in theUS, comprising about one-third
of current divorces.
In Europe, when the wife isill, the chance of divorce jumps
by 60% compared to coupleswhere both partners are healthy.
(08:22):
And keep in mind, how manywomen do you know get diagnosed
with an autoimmune condition,cancer, heart disease, any of
these things around midlife?
You probably know a few.
Furthermore, one in eightregularly exceeded the
(08:55):
recommended 14 units per week tocope with symptoms.
So, I mean, I've I've recordedpodcasts about sober living,
I've recorded podcasts, andthere's some people who say that
no alcohol is safe.
And 14 units, I will say, ismuch smaller than that giant
(09:19):
glass of red wine or white winethat you're drinking.
Just keep this in mind.
Few studies record the exactpercentage of friendships that
permanently end due tomenopause.
Much evidence is qualitative orframed in terms of emotional
distancing.
However, we know up to one inthree women report social
(09:44):
withdrawal or reducedengagement.
Two, hormonal shifts can drivestress, mood changes, and
communication shifts, commonprecursors to friendship
distancing or loss.
Three, midlife also sees ageneral pruning of friendships.
(10:05):
Menopause may amplify this.
I haven't yet touched onfinancial difficulties at
menopause.
The cost of hormones can beastronomical.
Then there's the simple factthat women at menopause are
often not supported in theworkforce.
I have recorded a great episodeall about women's health in the
(10:27):
workforce.
Ladies, there is a lot moregoing on, deeper than just hot
flashes.
But everyone is so busybreaking down the science and
not going deeper.
Menopause is a time when we arecalled to re-examine our lives
(10:51):
from all angles, ourrelationships, our finances, our
health, our habits, ourfriendships, and our boundaries.
We can no longer live solelyfrom our heads and must go
deeper into our hearts andintuition to figure out how to
balance and align witheverything in our lives moving
(11:14):
forward.
Our symptoms, life challenges,and changes during this time are
literally calling upon us to dothis.
This all sounds so hard, andthe resulting data isn't exactly
encouraging.
It's hard, and most peopledon't even know where to begin.
(11:36):
However, if your goal is toachieve health span beyond doing
your bone building exercisesand taking NMN, you may wish to
pay attention to themetaphysical symptoms during
this phase.
Gosh, I'm growing a littletired of hearing advice from
(11:56):
30-year-olds who have a bigfollowing telling people to
start taking NMN because theyheard it from another health
influencer.
So I'll give you mystep-by-step guide.
That's a joke, by the way,because there is no specific
guide.
But what I can offer you issome insight and some wisdom on
(12:19):
how to go deeper.
Choose what resonates with youand your soul.
Look within.
So I learn and I alchemize, andthen I share to help others.
(12:49):
This is a significant,significant part of my purpose.
Finding yours is reallyimportant at this age.
I believe that many of the grimstats about women at menopause
are because of the following.
We cut off and cut out peoplebecause we're angry at our life,
(13:11):
angry at who we've become, andwith our circumstances.
We numb ourselves and prefer toglide into old age without
thinking, thinking deeply enoughto assess our lives.
We build, sorry, we busyourselves with so much, like
travel and fun and all thesegreat things.
(13:34):
They're all part of life, butwe're so busy in our lives that
we don't see our lives for whatit truly is.
We have a loss of identity andtrue deeper connections.
We might experience no definedpurpose except to say, I'm gonna
(13:54):
retire at age 60.
We have unresolved trauma andemotional numbing.
We've accumulated negative andsubconscious beliefs that are so
vast that we don't even knowthat they're there, but they're
running programs in ourbackground constantly.
You'll need to get quiet tobegin.
(14:19):
This isn't about uprootingeverything in your life all at
once and ending relationshipswith people who piss you off or
going to the the the rainforestand taking ayahuasca either.
It's about getting quiet enoughfor you to notice what doesn't
(14:40):
work to support your peace, yourhealth, your joy.
What in your foundation hascracks that are widening?
This stage in your life iswhere you'll notice them if you
allow it.
And you will get many signs.
Start journaling the minute youwake up.
(15:02):
People often say, I'm not awriter, no one is reading your
work, so who cares?
Is this just an excuse not toget quiet?
Here, if you don't know what towrite, write this one line
every morning.
What does my soul want me toknow today?
(15:23):
Start here.
Let the words roll from yourheart onto paper.
Don't think about it too much.
Just write using this oneprompt, which has been my go-to
prompt for many years now.
When I don't know what towrite, I still use it.
Many of us busy our lives as aform of avoidance because
(15:45):
looking at the truer, deeperissues may be too scary.
Ever see those people who filltheir time so much that when
they are at home, all they cando is flop down on the couch
from sheer exhaustion, no timefor independent reflection, too
tired to even be present in yourown life.
(16:06):
You do not need a buddy for amindfulness session.
You do not need a buddy for anature walk.
Could you do these things aloneoften enough to make it count?
It's not about taking a girl'sspiritual trip once a year.
Ask yourself why you don't liketo be alone if this is hard for
(16:29):
you.
Can't enjoy your partnerwithout that bottle of wine to
share between you?
Can't participate in an eventwithout alcohol?
Every time you spend time witha particular group of friends,
do you come home more depletedthan energized?
Do you feel worse or do theseinteractions contribute to joy
(16:53):
in your life?
What are the cold hard truthsabout your friendships?
Do they take more than theygive?
Do they support you in yourlife or do they break down what
you're trying to build foryourself for your future?
This might be a big aha momentfor you.
Longevity alone doesn't make afriendship meaningful.
(17:18):
Just because you've been intheir lives for a long time
doesn't mean that they need tostay as a vital part of your
life.
Now is the time to notice whichrelationships truly offer
depth, love, enrichment, andsupport, and which do not.
Ask yourself, will thesefriendships nourish the next
(17:41):
phase of my life?
I'm not referring toacquaintances, as it's fine to
have many of these.
I'm talking about the peopleinvited into your most sacred
space, your energetic circle.
Analyze these closerrelationships.
Remember the saying?
You are who you keep companywith.
(18:02):
There's truth to this.
Do you have closer friendshipsthat are giving you a feeling as
if they don't support you?
They probably don't if yourintuition is attuned.
But before you go and cut outthis friendship, keep listening.
(18:23):
Be sure that it's not your ownlimiting beliefs that are giving
you this feeling.
Let's now analyze themetaphorical symptoms of
menopause that relate to thewide range of menopause symptoms
everyone is talking about.
Metaphorical symptoms areemotional, psychological, or
(18:44):
physical symptoms thatsymbolically represent deeper
unconscious conflicts, unmetneeds, or unresolved trauma
rather than just arising fromstraightforward biological
causes.
They're a concept that's oftenexplored in psychosomatic
medicine and holistic orspiritual healing approaches.
(19:08):
Dry eyes at menopause.
What is it that you'reunwilling to see in your life?
Left eye, what's happened inthe past?
Right eye, what's happeningright now that's unclear that
you may not be willing to see?
Hot flashes, what inflammationis going on internally?
(19:31):
What's causing heat and angerfrom deep within you?
Joint pain.
Where is the pain?
Read Yvette Rose's MetaphysicalAnatomy andor Julia Cannon's
Soul Speak.
I've recorded podcasts withboth of these amazing women.
You may be surprised to learnthat these physical pains can be
(19:57):
linked to emotional aspects ofour lives.
Go back to my podcast.
I'll link them in the shownotes, but you're gonna want to
listen to these.
Because these topics are socomplex, you're gonna have to
continue on your own with yourown personal analysis.
(20:18):
You'll love it if this stuffinterests you.
So I'm not saying not to usebioidentical hormones.
I would be far worse off if Iweren't on them.
Everyone's experience isdifferent, and there is enough
research to show how much thesehormones enhance longevity and
help you live with thesesymptoms.
(20:39):
However, remember that thesesymptoms serve as a purpose.
So maybe quelling them to apoint of complete silence may
not serve you best.
Find your balance here and dowhat makes sense for you.
So I'm not saying run out andget a divorce.
I'm not saying live alone inisolation with no friends or
(21:01):
relationships.
As we know, this doesn'tsupport longevity, by the way,
as per the blue zones and allthe research out there.
Pay attention and renegotiatenecessary sacred contracts
within our lives to support truepeace and longevity beyond
menopause.
I'm not saying go and lay blameon everyone and everything in
(21:26):
your life without takingaccountability for your part in
it all, for your own story.
This takes a lot ofself-reflection.
It involves examining how yourown negative self-beliefs may
have contributed to your entiresituation.
It takes breaking some of thosenegative beliefs that you may
(21:49):
have formed, which may causeunfavorable patterns in your
life.
If you want guidance here, I'verecorded with Brenda Farrugia
of So Brilliant Who Can GuideYou.
That will also be in the shownotes her links.
She's an incredible person.
So, no, it's not all about themand how they're treating you.
(22:15):
While this may be a wake-upcall, this mode of thinking is
more of a victim state.
It is sometimes necessary toidentify areas for
self-improvement that you canwork on to change within
yourself, and everything elsefalls into its rightful place.
And remember, any of theseunfavorable situations serve as
(22:37):
mirrors for you.
It can be about imbalances infriendships and relationships,
but how are you to identifythese imbalances in an unbiased
way unless you do someself-reflection?
What are you personally callinginto your life through your
subconscious beliefs?
This part is crucial toidentify.
(22:59):
Start working on yourself, peeloff those negative belief
patterns and see how much morelight you let into your life.
As my beautiful friend BrendaFerrugia says, sometimes your
light can irritate those whocarry a lot of darkness within
(23:20):
them.
What tends to happen is eitherthey come back around when
they've done their ownself-reflection, or they fall
out of your life organically.
You may repel those who aretriggered by your light.
And this is what I mean by theyfall out of your life
organically.
So it's not about what you seeon TikTok and boundaries and
(23:43):
just cutting everyone out ofyour life.
Although this can happen too.
But when you begin working onyourself and your own negative
beliefs, this often can happenjust organically.
I've had long-term friendshipsfall away from my life.
I don't miss them.
I doubt they don't miss, Idoubt that they miss me.
(24:05):
It doesn't really matter eitherway.
The fall away was organic.
And this shedding helps open upmore space for me to hold more
light.
Remember, when you're hangingon to darker relationships,
darker energy, things that don'tserve you, it takes up space
(24:29):
within you.
All the things that are notcompatible with your core
vibration are doing their bestto get away as far away from you
as they possibly can.
The only reason they may not beis because you're holding on to
(24:51):
them and not letting them go.
That's from Bashar.
That was a quote.
Purge anything that doesn'tmatch my own lighter frequency.
Let go and let in.
We've heard this numeroustimes.
Learning how to let go is thekey here.
(25:13):
I've had very, very hard timesletting go at times.
My personality is that I amthere for the people in my life
for the long haul, but thishasn't served me all too often.
So here's the key.
Every single time you feel anudge that something is
(25:33):
uncomfortable, realize that thiscomes from a belief within you
that can be released.
If you ignore it, you'll neverunderstand it, let alone release
it.
The more you shed, the morelight you bring in within you.
And the harder your ownvibration and sorry, the higher
(25:55):
your own vibration and frequencybecome.
Naturally, without force.
The more that doesn't belongaround you will naturally fall
away as more space opens up forthe things that belong to come
in.
This is a process, I tell you.
I've been working on it for awhile, and it's not an easy one.
(26:18):
The unraveling can be verypainful, and I felt that deeply
within myself.
But over time, I came to seejust how much growth it was
giving me.
Brenda is someone who trulyknows how to guide you through
this transformation.
We must follow our excitementand act on our highest joy, as
(26:40):
this will open up a whole worldfor us as we age.
However, if we have so manybuilt-up negative beliefs
bogging us down, we never feelthe actual effects of acting on
our highest joy.
Ever since my daughter and Ihad cancer, I've been doing
(27:02):
this.
However, I've been carrying andcollecting so many negative
beliefs that I haven't felt theactual effects of this.
I love the way Bashar describesthis.
It's not about magicallyraising your vibration to
achieve and be who you want.
Manifestation is not aboutwaving a magic wand, it's about
(27:27):
letting go all of that thatdoesn't serve you to allow you
to be and to achieve.
When you do the work onyourself, this allows things to
fall away.
Do you see the difference?
Those things and people thatalign with you and your light
(27:51):
and frequency will stay.
You will sometimes triggerdarkness within people as more
light enters your being.
Some of these people will fallaway from your life as a result
and create more light withinyou.
Begin by researching how toclear limiting and negative
beliefs within yourself.
(28:11):
Try not to resist when younotice that certain people,
actions, or situations no longeralign with your energy or
values.
Remember, your lightness maytrigger darkness or repel them.
This is okay.
I saw something the other daythat resonated with me.
So this didn't come for me.
(28:32):
It was on TikTok from anotherpodcaster by the name of Emilio
Ortez.
And it's really, really wise.
Your soul always leaves asituation first.
And it takes your body just alittle longer to catch up.
Before you physically makechanges in your life, your soul
(28:57):
has already checked out and itwhispers to you, I don't belong
here anymore.
Often we may miss these signsand stay longer than necessary.
The signs will keep gettinglouder and louder until your
body must follow what your soulwas trying to tell you all
(29:19):
along.
So let me tie this all intogether to make it easier to
understand what I'm saying.
As an English literaturegraduate, I must summarize and
tie everything together.
All my important points have tocome into an conclusion for
you.
So here we go.
Menopause is a time to takestock and reflect on your life.
(29:44):
It's when you can no longerhide and numb the things in your
life that don't align.
Well, you can, but if you trulywant an enriched, peaceful,
healthy life to contribute toyour health span, hide And
numbing won't serve you anylonger.
It'll be challenging to agewell if you do.
(30:06):
Many women do.
My grandmother never ever drankalcohol until after menopause,
and this might have contributedto her demise.
The only way to start is tobecome quiet, sometimes
uncomfortably so.
Be alone, journal, walk everyday in nature, work with someone
(30:29):
like Brenda using tools totruly peel away those layers so
you can let in more light.
It's never about blame andshame, it's about peeling things
off your essence to allow yourbrightness to shine.
Brenda can help to dismantleall those limiting and
subconscious negative beliefsformed throughout your life that
(30:51):
are causing repeated patternsthat no longer serve you as you
move into a very special phasein your life.
And I'm gonna tell you completetransparency.
I am not an affiliate ofBrenda's, and I'm not getting
paid to speak about Brenda.
She's been a guest on mypodcast twice.
She is going to be coming backagain.
And I have so much respect andhonor for how much she can help
(31:15):
others and how much she's helpedme.
So start here.
I hope this article was helpfuland offers a very unique
perspective of menopause,something you haven't heard
before.
The purpose of my article andmy podcast is to show you that
you're not alone in how you feeland your feelings are very
(31:36):
real.
And go deeper to call you to dothe work to forge ahead in what
can be a very exciting phase ofyour life.
Hiding, masking, numbing, itwon't help you on your journey
towards a healthy and peacefullife.
So there you go, my friends.
(31:57):
That's my article.
And that's my podcast for thisweek.
I hope it was helpful.
I'm gonna ask you to please,please share this with one of
your menopausal friends.
And you know, I think it'simportant to find people who are
like-minded who you can talkthrough it with when you are
(32:18):
doing the work alone as well.
So love and light.
Be sure to share it withsomeone you know might benefit.
And always remember when yourate, review, subscribe, you
(32:40):
help to support my content andhelp me to keep going and bring
these conversations to you eachand every week.
Join me next week for a newtopic, new guest, new exciting
conversations to help you liveyour best life.
Hi everyone, it's me, Sandy Kruse of Sandy K
Nutrition Health and LifestyleQueen.
For years now, I've beenbringing to you conversations
about wellness from incredibleguests from all over the world.
Discover a fresh take onhealthy living for midlife and
(00:25):
beyond.
One that embraces balance andreason without letting only
science dictate every aspect ofour wellness.
Join me and my guests as weexplore ways that we can age
gracefully with in-depthconversations about the thyroid,
(00:48):
about hormones, and otheralternative wellness options for
you and your family.
True Wellness nurtures ahealthy body, mind, spirit, and
soul.
And we cover all of theseessential aspects to help you
live a balanced, joyful life.
(01:11):
Be sure to follow my show, rateit, review it, and share it.
Always remember, my friends,balanced living works.
Hi everyone, welcome to Sandy KNutrition Health and Lifestyle
(01:31):
Queen.
Today I have my solo episode,and I think this is a really
important episode because itcomes from a completely
different perspective aboutmenopause.
And this is actually an articlethat I wrote in Substack.
You can follow me there.
(01:51):
Most of you who follow me knowthat I am a registered holistic
nutritionist.
I do have multiplecertifications in endocrinology
and hormones, peptides andaging.
I am also a certified metabolicbalance coach.
I also had thyroid cancer at41.
And now I'm 55, going throughmenopause without a thyroid
(02:15):
gland.
And I think the discussionaround that is not, it's the
importance of the discussionaround that is underestimated
because there are many women whomay have their thyroid gland,
but it is not working properly.
And that in and of itself canaffect how you go through
(02:35):
menopause and hormones and more.
But this article, it's calledThe Great Uprooting: What No One
Tells You About Menopause,Beyond Hormones, A Midlife
Reckoning, and the Courage toEvolve.
(02:56):
You can follow me on Instagram,Facebook, YouTube, anywhere.
It's Sandy Knutrition.
And then my Substack issandycruz.substack.com.
And I like to write because Iam actually an English
literature graduate.
So writing is really part of mypassion.
(03:18):
So I'm going to read thisarticle to you because we hear
so much information aboutmenopause, but nobody really
talks about the more spiritualaspect of this really major
transition that women go throughin their lives.
Hey, allow me to begin.
(03:38):
This might not be an easy time.
There's rivers to cross andhills to climb.
Some days we might fall apart,and some nights might feel cold
and dark, but nobody wins afraidof losing.
And the hard roads are the onesworth choosing.
Someday we'll look back andsmile and know it was worth
(04:00):
every mile.
This is from the song startingover by Chris Stapleton.
Everyone is so busy listeningto all the menopause experts
speak about the benefits ofbioidentical hormones and
quieting all those menopausalsymptoms to contribute to our
longevity.
Great.
(04:20):
This is useful.
But what about the deepermeaning behind those symptoms
that we are so busy silencing?
I've come to realize that thereason I've been living through
what feels like the world'slongest perimenopause is this to
write this piece and in doingso help other women understand
(04:45):
the much deeper metaphysicalpurpose of this transition.
This isn't the medical story.
We already know that.
So what is the deeper meaningbehind this powerful transition
(05:06):
we call menopause?
These are quotes.
Wow, she's become such amiserable bitch.
She must hate her life.
She's become a complete lush,drinks heavily, is so wasted at
every event.
She's become a shut-in, goesnowhere, and sees no one.
She's getting a divorce after25 years of marriage.
(05:30):
Her health in every way hascrumbled.
She was diagnosed with cancer.
The hot flashes, vaginaldryness, and more have become my
living hell.
These are a few scenarios.
Perhaps you recognize some.
Maybe you don't remember any ofthem because you're too busy
(05:51):
drinking and trying to forgetthese feelings from deep within
your heart and your gut.
Menopause is so much more thanhot flashes, sleepless nights,
dryness, and wrinkles.
It is the fallout before therebuild.
If you choose to notice and seeit for what it is, is my heart
(06:17):
okay with all these changes?
Menopause is about living fromthe heart and not the head.
The peak divorce age, womentend to initiate divorce most
(06:49):
often between 45 and 55, thecore years of perimenopause and
menopause.
By the way, I will have thelinks to these uh research
studies where I have where Ifound them, and um, that will be
in the show notes.
In the UK, over 60% of divorcesin this age range were
(07:15):
initiated by women.
In the US, across all agegroups, 69% of divorces are
filed by women, often coincidingwith midlife transitions.
A survey of 1,000 menopausalwomen revealed that 70 to 73
(07:36):
percent believe menopausecontributed to marital
breakdown, triggering increasedarguments or domestic conflict.
Sixty-seven percent of thesewomen reported that menopause
raised the incidence of domesticdisputes.
(07:56):
Known as gray divorce, divorceamong couples over 50 has
doubled in recent decades in theUS, comprising about one-third
of current divorces.
In Europe, when the wife isill, the chance of divorce jumps
by 60% compared to coupleswhere both partners are healthy.
(08:22):
And keep in mind, how manywomen do you know get diagnosed
with an autoimmune condition,cancer, heart disease, any of
these things around midlife?
You probably know a few.
Furthermore, one in eightregularly exceeded the
(08:55):
recommended 14 units per week tocope with symptoms.
So, I mean, I've I've recordedpodcasts about sober living,
I've recorded podcasts, andthere's some people who say that
no alcohol is safe.
And 14 units, I will say, ismuch smaller than that giant
(09:19):
glass of red wine or white winethat you're drinking.
Just keep this in mind.
Few studies record the exactpercentage of friendships that
permanently end due tomenopause.
Much evidence is qualitative orframed in terms of emotional
distancing.
However, we know up to one inthree women report social
(09:44):
withdrawal or reducedengagement.
Two, hormonal shifts can drivestress, mood changes, and
communication shifts, commonprecursors to friendship
distancing or loss.
Three, midlife also sees ageneral pruning of friendships.
(10:05):
Menopause may amplify this.
I haven't yet touched onfinancial difficulties at
menopause.
The cost of hormones can beastronomical.
Then there's the simple factthat women at menopause are
often not supported in theworkforce.
I have recorded a great episodeall about women's health in the
(10:27):
workforce.
Ladies, there is a lot moregoing on, deeper than just hot
flashes.
But everyone is so busybreaking down the science and
not going deeper.
Menopause is a time when we arecalled to re-examine our lives
(10:51):
from all angles, ourrelationships, our finances, our
health, our habits, ourfriendships, and our boundaries.
We can no longer live solelyfrom our heads and must go
deeper into our hearts andintuition to figure out how to
balance and align witheverything in our lives moving
(11:14):
forward.
Our symptoms, life challenges,and changes during this time are
literally calling upon us to dothis.
This all sounds so hard, andthe resulting data isn't exactly
encouraging.
It's hard, and most peopledon't even know where to begin.
(11:36):
However, if your goal is toachieve health span beyond doing
your bone building exercisesand taking NMN, you may wish to
pay attention to themetaphysical symptoms during
this phase.
Gosh, I'm growing a littletired of hearing advice from
(11:56):
30-year-olds who have a bigfollowing telling people to
start taking NMN because theyheard it from another health
influencer.
So I'll give you mystep-by-step guide.
That's a joke, by the way,because there is no specific
guide.
But what I can offer you issome insight and some wisdom on
(12:19):
how to go deeper.
Choose what resonates with youand your soul.
Look within.
So I learn and I alchemize, andthen I share to help others.
(12:49):
This is a significant,significant part of my purpose.
Finding yours is reallyimportant at this age.
I believe that many of the grimstats about women at menopause
are because of the following.
We cut off and cut out peoplebecause we're angry at our life,
(13:11):
angry at who we've become, andwith our circumstances.
We numb ourselves and prefer toglide into old age without
thinking, thinking deeply enoughto assess our lives.
We build, sorry, we busyourselves with so much, like
travel and fun and all thesegreat things.
(13:34):
They're all part of life, butwe're so busy in our lives that
we don't see our lives for whatit truly is.
We have a loss of identity andtrue deeper connections.
We might experience no definedpurpose except to say, I'm gonna
(13:54):
retire at age 60.
We have unresolved trauma andemotional numbing.
We've accumulated negative andsubconscious beliefs that are so
vast that we don't even knowthat they're there, but they're
running programs in ourbackground constantly.
You'll need to get quiet tobegin.
(14:19):
This isn't about uprootingeverything in your life all at
once and ending relationshipswith people who piss you off or
going to the the the rainforestand taking ayahuasca either.
It's about getting quiet enoughfor you to notice what doesn't
(14:40):
work to support your peace, yourhealth, your joy.
What in your foundation hascracks that are widening?
This stage in your life iswhere you'll notice them if you
allow it.
And you will get many signs.
Start journaling the minute youwake up.
(15:02):
People often say, I'm not awriter, no one is reading your
work, so who cares?
Is this just an excuse not toget quiet?
Here, if you don't know what towrite, write this one line
every morning.
What does my soul want me toknow today?
(15:23):
Start here.
Let the words roll from yourheart onto paper.
Don't think about it too much.
Just write using this oneprompt, which has been my go-to
prompt for many years now.
When I don't know what towrite, I still use it.
Many of us busy our lives as aform of avoidance because
(15:45):
looking at the truer, deeperissues may be too scary.
Ever see those people who filltheir time so much that when
they are at home, all they cando is flop down on the couch
from sheer exhaustion, no timefor independent reflection, too
tired to even be present in yourown life.
(16:06):
You do not need a buddy for amindfulness session.
You do not need a buddy for anature walk.
Could you do these things aloneoften enough to make it count?
It's not about taking a girl'sspiritual trip once a year.
Ask yourself why you don't liketo be alone if this is hard for
(16:29):
you.
Can't enjoy your partnerwithout that bottle of wine to
share between you?
Can't participate in an eventwithout alcohol?
Every time you spend time witha particular group of friends,
do you come home more depletedthan energized?
Do you feel worse or do theseinteractions contribute to joy
(16:53):
in your life?
What are the cold hard truthsabout your friendships?
Do they take more than theygive?
Do they support you in yourlife or do they break down what
you're trying to build foryourself for your future?
This might be a big aha momentfor you.
Longevity alone doesn't make afriendship meaningful.
(17:18):
Just because you've been intheir lives for a long time
doesn't mean that they need tostay as a vital part of your
life.
Now is the time to notice whichrelationships truly offer
depth, love, enrichment, andsupport, and which do not.
Ask yourself, will thesefriendships nourish the next
(17:41):
phase of my life?
I'm not referring toacquaintances, as it's fine to
have many of these.
I'm talking about the peopleinvited into your most sacred
space, your energetic circle.
Analyze these closerrelationships.
Remember the saying?
You are who you keep companywith.
(18:02):
There's truth to this.
Do you have closer friendshipsthat are giving you a feeling as
if they don't support you?
They probably don't if yourintuition is attuned.
But before you go and cut outthis friendship, keep listening.
(18:23):
Be sure that it's not your ownlimiting beliefs that are giving
you this feeling.
Let's now analyze themetaphorical symptoms of
menopause that relate to thewide range of menopause symptoms
everyone is talking about.
Metaphorical symptoms areemotional, psychological, or
(18:44):
physical symptoms thatsymbolically represent deeper
unconscious conflicts, unmetneeds, or unresolved trauma
rather than just arising fromstraightforward biological
causes.
They're a concept that's oftenexplored in psychosomatic
medicine and holistic orspiritual healing approaches.
(19:08):
Dry eyes at menopause.
What is it that you'reunwilling to see in your life?
Left eye, what's happened inthe past?
Right eye, what's happeningright now that's unclear that
you may not be willing to see?
Hot flashes, what inflammationis going on internally?
(19:31):
What's causing heat and angerfrom deep within you?
Joint pain.
Where is the pain?
Read Yvette Rose's MetaphysicalAnatomy andor Julia Cannon's
Soul Speak.
I've recorded podcasts withboth of these amazing women.
You may be surprised to learnthat these physical pains can be
(19:57):
linked to emotional aspects ofour lives.
Go back to my podcast.
I'll link them in the shownotes, but you're gonna want to
listen to these.
Because these topics are socomplex, you're gonna have to
continue on your own with yourown personal analysis.
(20:18):
You'll love it if this stuffinterests you.
So I'm not saying not to usebioidentical hormones.
I would be far worse off if Iweren't on them.
Everyone's experience isdifferent, and there is enough
research to show how much thesehormones enhance longevity and
help you live with thesesymptoms.
(20:39):
However, remember that thesesymptoms serve as a purpose.
So maybe quelling them to apoint of complete silence may
not serve you best.
Find your balance here and dowhat makes sense for you.
So I'm not saying run out andget a divorce.
I'm not saying live alone inisolation with no friends or
(21:01):
relationships.
As we know, this doesn'tsupport longevity, by the way,
as per the blue zones and allthe research out there.
Pay attention and renegotiatenecessary sacred contracts
within our lives to support truepeace and longevity beyond
menopause.
I'm not saying go and lay blameon everyone and everything in
(21:26):
your life without takingaccountability for your part in
it all, for your own story.
This takes a lot ofself-reflection.
It involves examining how yourown negative self-beliefs may
have contributed to your entiresituation.
It takes breaking some of thosenegative beliefs that you may
(21:49):
have formed, which may causeunfavorable patterns in your
life.
If you want guidance here, I'verecorded with Brenda Farrugia
of So Brilliant Who Can GuideYou.
That will also be in the shownotes her links.
She's an incredible person.
So, no, it's not all about themand how they're treating you.
(22:15):
While this may be a wake-upcall, this mode of thinking is
more of a victim state.
It is sometimes necessary toidentify areas for
self-improvement that you canwork on to change within
yourself, and everything elsefalls into its rightful place.
And remember, any of theseunfavorable situations serve as
(22:37):
mirrors for you.
It can be about imbalances infriendships and relationships,
but how are you to identifythese imbalances in an unbiased
way unless you do someself-reflection?
What are you personally callinginto your life through your
subconscious beliefs?
This part is crucial toidentify.
(22:59):
Start working on yourself, peeloff those negative belief
patterns and see how much morelight you let into your life.
As my beautiful friend BrendaFerrugia says, sometimes your
light can irritate those whocarry a lot of darkness within
(23:20):
them.
What tends to happen is eitherthey come back around when
they've done their ownself-reflection, or they fall
out of your life organically.
You may repel those who aretriggered by your light.
And this is what I mean by theyfall out of your life
organically.
So it's not about what you seeon TikTok and boundaries and
(23:43):
just cutting everyone out ofyour life.
Although this can happen too.
But when you begin working onyourself and your own negative
beliefs, this often can happenjust organically.
I've had long-term friendshipsfall away from my life.
I don't miss them.
I doubt they don't miss, Idoubt that they miss me.
(24:05):
It doesn't really matter eitherway.
The fall away was organic.
And this shedding helps open upmore space for me to hold more
light.
Remember, when you're hangingon to darker relationships,
darker energy, things that don'tserve you, it takes up space
(24:29):
within you.
All the things that are notcompatible with your core
vibration are doing their bestto get away as far away from you
as they possibly can.
The only reason they may not beis because you're holding on to
(24:51):
them and not letting them go.
That's from Bashar.
That was a quote.
Purge anything that doesn'tmatch my own lighter frequency.
Let go and let in.
We've heard this numeroustimes.
Learning how to let go is thekey here.
(25:13):
I've had very, very hard timesletting go at times.
My personality is that I amthere for the people in my life
for the long haul, but thishasn't served me all too often.
So here's the key.
Every single time you feel anudge that something is
(25:33):
uncomfortable, realize that thiscomes from a belief within you
that can be released.
If you ignore it, you'll neverunderstand it, let alone release
it.
The more you shed, the morelight you bring in within you.
And the harder your ownvibration and sorry, the higher
(25:55):
your own vibration and frequencybecome.
Naturally, without force.
The more that doesn't belongaround you will naturally fall
away as more space opens up forthe things that belong to come
in.
This is a process, I tell you.
I've been working on it for awhile, and it's not an easy one.
(26:18):
The unraveling can be verypainful, and I felt that deeply
within myself.
But over time, I came to seejust how much growth it was
giving me.
Brenda is someone who trulyknows how to guide you through
this transformation.
We must follow our excitementand act on our highest joy, as
(26:40):
this will open up a whole worldfor us as we age.
However, if we have so manybuilt-up negative beliefs
bogging us down, we never feelthe actual effects of acting on
our highest joy.
Ever since my daughter and Ihad cancer, I've been doing
(27:02):
this.
However, I've been carrying andcollecting so many negative
beliefs that I haven't felt theactual effects of this.
I love the way Bashar describesthis.
It's not about magicallyraising your vibration to
achieve and be who you want.
Manifestation is not aboutwaving a magic wand, it's about
(27:27):
letting go all of that thatdoesn't serve you to allow you
to be and to achieve.
When you do the work onyourself, this allows things to
fall away.
Do you see the difference?
Those things and people thatalign with you and your light
(27:51):
and frequency will stay.
You will sometimes triggerdarkness within people as more
light enters your being.
Some of these people will fallaway from your life as a result
and create more light withinyou.
Begin by researching how toclear limiting and negative
beliefs within yourself.
(28:11):
Try not to resist when younotice that certain people,
actions, or situations no longeralign with your energy or
values.
Remember, your lightness maytrigger darkness or repel them.
This is okay.
I saw something the other daythat resonated with me.
So this didn't come for me.
(28:32):
It was on TikTok from anotherpodcaster by the name of Emilio
Ortez.
And it's really, really wise.
Your soul always leaves asituation first.
And it takes your body just alittle longer to catch up.
Before you physically makechanges in your life, your soul
(28:57):
has already checked out and itwhispers to you, I don't belong
here anymore.
Often we may miss these signsand stay longer than necessary.
The signs will keep gettinglouder and louder until your
body must follow what your soulwas trying to tell you all
(29:19):
along.
So let me tie this all intogether to make it easier to
understand what I'm saying.
As an English literaturegraduate, I must summarize and
tie everything together.
All my important points have tocome into an conclusion for
you.
So here we go.
Menopause is a time to takestock and reflect on your life.
(29:44):
It's when you can no longerhide and numb the things in your
life that don't align.
Well, you can, but if you trulywant an enriched, peaceful,
healthy life to contribute toyour health span, hide And
numbing won't serve you anylonger.
It'll be challenging to agewell if you do.
(30:06):
Many women do.
My grandmother never ever drankalcohol until after menopause,
and this might have contributedto her demise.
The only way to start is tobecome quiet, sometimes
uncomfortably so.
Be alone, journal, walk everyday in nature, work with someone
(30:29):
like Brenda using tools totruly peel away those layers so
you can let in more light.
It's never about blame andshame, it's about peeling things
off your essence to allow yourbrightness to shine.
Brenda can help to dismantleall those limiting and
subconscious negative beliefsformed throughout your life that
(30:51):
are causing repeated patternsthat no longer serve you as you
move into a very special phasein your life.
And I'm gonna tell you completetransparency.
I am not an affiliate ofBrenda's, and I'm not getting
paid to speak about Brenda.
She's been a guest on mypodcast twice.
She is going to be coming backagain.
And I have so much respect andhonor for how much she can help
(31:15):
others and how much she's helpedme.
So start here.
I hope this article was helpfuland offers a very unique
perspective of menopause,something you haven't heard
before.
The purpose of my article andmy podcast is to show you that
you're not alone in how you feeland your feelings are very
(31:36):
real.
And go deeper to call you to dothe work to forge ahead in what
can be a very exciting phase ofyour life.
Hiding, masking, numbing, itwon't help you on your journey
towards a healthy and peacefullife.
So there you go, my friends.
(31:57):
That's my article.
And that's my podcast for thisweek.
I hope it was helpful.
I'm gonna ask you to please,please share this with one of
your menopausal friends.
And you know, I think it'simportant to find people who are
like-minded who you can talkthrough it with when you are
(32:18):
doing the work alone as well.
So love and light.
Be sure to share it withsomeone you know might benefit.
And always remember when yourate, review, subscribe, you
(32:40):
help to support my content andhelp me to keep going and bring
these conversations to you eachand every week.
Join me next week for a newtopic, new guest, new exciting
conversations to help you liveyour best life.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.