January 3, 2024 • 51 mins
Brace yourselves for another sizzling episode with Meg and the incredible Eleanor Hadley!
Eleanor, the brains behind the viral "Tongue Tactics" course, spills the beans on mind-blowing BJ moves that will set your sex life on fire. From the illusion of deepthroating to a pepper grinder dance, she's got the 'magic sequence' of oral down pat.
But that's not all – Meg and Eleanor dive into the essentials of communication, consent, and the crucial role of connection in the bedroom. It's not just about the moves; it's about the vibes.
They also riff off on...
- Meg shares her journey of overcoming discomfort with giving blow jobs to feel powerful and pleasure her partner.
- Eleanor discuss techniques for pleasing a partner during oral sex, including varying depth and rhythm.
- Eleanor also discusses the importance of building up to a "magic sequence" in oral sex, using a variety of techniques to keep the partner engaged and interested.
- Using mirrors and eye contact during oral sex to feel powerful and to get even more turned on
- They discuss the importance of women taking up space in sexual relationships and feeling comfortable with their own desires.
- They unpack the Madonna-whore complex and how it affects women's sexual liberation and self-perception.
- Meg advocates for embracing awkwardness and discomfort to access new parts of oneself and enjoy sex more fully.
- Eleanor shares their perspective on dating and relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-work and being true to oneself.
⚡ If you loved this episode & the podcast, make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss anything.
AND… it would mean the world to us if you rated & reviewed the show.
We carefully read each and every review, and we love hearing about your experience with the podcast!
⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:
IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween
⚡ Connect with Eleanor Hadley:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/eleanorhadley
Website: https://www.eleanorhadley.com/
Enroll in Tongue Tactics: https://www.eleanorhadley.com/tonguetactics
⚡ Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…
The Desire Date: A sexy date night experience for couples ready to re-ignite passion & deepen intimacy. ---> https://bit.ly/49r28Zt
Ignite Your Intimacy: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! ---> https://bit.ly/3R0ihxU
Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Hey, beautiful humans, welcometo sex, love and everything in
between.
You're here with Jacob and mywife, Meg. And this
is the place where we have allthem very, very real role and
extremely unfilteredconversations about sex, love,
(00:26):
and everything in between.
It's here you get a behind thescenes look into our
relationship. And we will not beholding back. Well, we might not
know.
You don't know how to do that.
Not at all. So beautiful ones.
Thank you for being here. Enjoythis episode. Welcome back,
(00:48):
everybody. We have the amazingEleanor Hadley back with us
again this week, if you will,you don't have to listen to last
week's episode. But Elena waswith us last week talking about
how to pleasure policy,specifically tactics for licking
pussy. Yes. And now we're back.
We're going to be talking aboutsucking cock. And, obviously,
(01:11):
months,we're just saying like, how is
this our life job,it's rather ridiculous. But you
know, it's very important andvital information that a lot of
us don't receive. And I know, Iknow that some of you listening
have done exactly what I used todo when I was in my early 20s Go
on to Google and be like thepuck to my second dick. And so
you know what I created a closeall about it. And I'm like,
(01:31):
here, this is the informationthat you need. Because I
wasn't sure I used to hold a lotof shame. It's so interesting
that I do the work I do now,because I was the kind of
teenager that like, I kissed aboy a lot later than all my
friends. I had sex like a lot alot later, but like I was just
out of high school. So still 17but I felt so much shame for not
(01:54):
being exploratory. So I didn'twant to talk about I didn't know
what the fuck I was doing. But Idefinitely didn't want anyone to
know that I didn't know what Iwas doing. And I think that's
such an energy, even when we'rein our fucking 20s 30s, probably
40s and 50s. I know we have somepeople listening to the podcast
that have been married for, youknow, decades and decades. And
(02:16):
you know, our conversationsabout sex are really shifting
things for them. But I thinkit's so important to like, let
go of this idea that we shouldjust know what the fuck to do.
Like how exactly how, like,usually if we're in a
heterosexual relationship, weshould suddenly just know how to
pleasure. I don't know what todo with one. Like, it is wild
(02:36):
that we have this expectationthat like, oh, you should just
know and even you know, as sexeducators, when I meet people
who aren't in this space, andthey hear that I'm in Texas
educated people who mean likeyou teach people how to how to
have sex. And I'm like, Well,I'm not in the room with you
with a fucking whistle.
Because I am a sex andrelationship coach, and they
(02:57):
have a vision that I'm in thebedroom with them. Yeah, full
on, likereferee get up. And just being
like, foul play.
penalty shot.
That's a red flag. I don't knowsports. No, there's definitely a
(03:20):
space for that. That's not whatI do. But yeah, we do need to
learn how to have sex. We doneed to learn other pleasure
anatomy, we do need to learn ourown pleasure anatomy. Yeah,
because we aren't taught thatlike our sex education system is
cooked and very inadequate, anddoesn't teach about pleasure at
all. It just teachers, you know,all the scare sort of fear
(03:42):
mongering things around, sayyes. And so where are we
learning this? And if we sayporn, that's unfortunately
incorrect, because that's not agood teaching resources. Not
it's not a good place to learnbecause it is performative by
nature. It's intended to beperformative. And I'm not anti
porn by any means. But I thinkthat if that's the only place
(04:05):
that we are seeing sexrepresented, and we're not
seeking out knowledge, andobviously anyone who's listening
is seeking out knowledge, whichis wonderful. I think it is
important to learn, okay, I wantto be better and I want to bring
my lover more pleasure. What canI do? How can I be better?
And I think one and I'm sureyou're an advocate for this,
too, is, like you said, likelearning about our own pleasure.
(04:28):
And that is so I think we weretalking about in the last
episode, how so often women willmaybe this was just in our
conversations, outsourcepleasure and that was such my
experience of like, I just, youshould know. Yeah, I'm just
gonna lie here. And you turn meon you touch all the places you
do that and thenhe can't make me can't. Totally
can you make yourself and areyou communicating? What does
(04:51):
work? Do you know what works foryou? Uh huh. Like we need to
learn our own bodies soimportant completely.
And so when we learn and haveour own relationship With our
own plus our own plus his ownCox, then we can Yes, like,
education outside of that isreally important. But then we're
actually able to give our sexualpartners information. Like if
we're literally just going intoa sexual experience, assuming
(05:13):
that they should know.
Especially because everyone'sbody is different. You know,
there's, I know you said, Well,you're going to teach has a
99.9% success rate.
Yeah, gotcha.
There is there is a Yeah, like,every, every body is different
in that, that commute thatknowledge of our own body and
pleasure is so important tobring in as well. 1,000%.
(05:37):
Yeah, I think understanding yourown pleasure is very, very
important and being able tocommunicate with your partner
about like, what it is that theylike. Now, you know, we did the
pussy pro episode. And by andlarge, boulders are a little bit
more complex. And the way thatwe experience pleasure tends to
(05:58):
be a bit more complex. Dig,serve it easier. Bless them,
bless their sweet little cottonsocks, they tend to be a bit
more simple and easy to sort offigure out No, I, it's rare that
you're going to really fuck up ablow job. Unless you're doing
(06:20):
some real, real wrong, like toeat no teeth. We don't want we
don't want any accidents oremergency room visits. But, you
know, it's going to feelgenerally pretty good when
you're doing most things. Butlike with BJ queen, and with
these Tang tactics, you canreally elevate it to the point
where your lover is just like,absolutely losing their marbles.
(06:44):
And that's what we like, becausethat's like, it's honestly I
think them blow jobs is such aninteresting journey. Because I
think that a lot of people, youcan be in like one of two camps,
like I love them or hate them.
And there's not often like,like, they're okay, maybe you're
maybe you're apathetic about ajob. But what I think is really
fun in my work is taking peoplefrom like, not enjoying it,
(07:08):
fucking loving it. And I knowthat some people have heard me
sort of say that, and they'relike, What do you mean? Like, as
if you're gonna love giving ablowjob, but like, it can be so
fucking fun. And you can feel sopowerful because you're like, I
have your pleasure. Well, nowI feel my most powerful like I
run a successful business. I dolots of things as well. I feel
my most powerful sucking a cock.
(07:32):
Yeah, Igot this. It is just all me
totally.
And I think that feeling it issomething I love. Like I love
doing it for my partner. But Ialso love the transmission of my
own experience and the place Igo in myself when I when I do
that. So yeah, that wasdefinitely my journey of like,
oh, I don't know what I'mfucking doing. And I don't like
(07:53):
doing this. And I want to kindof avoid in to oh my gosh, I
can't wait. I fucking love it.
Yeah,yes. And that's like, that's
what I want people toexperience. Because I think that
a lot of the time when we thinkof sex and pleasure, especially
in a heterosexual dynamic, andespecially because we live under
like a patriarchal capitalistworld, we can feel like, our
pleasure is not ours, and thatour purpose is to provide them
(08:20):
pleasure. And so often we feelthis, like power imbalance,
almost, and making you feellike, Oh, well, I'm just doing
this for them. And they'remaking me no one should ever
make you do it. But like, like,I'm doing it just just because
they want it and it's the secondduty elements. Yeah, it's just
like, that's such an achy sortof energy around it. And I want
people to get to a place wherethey're like, I actually have
(08:44):
this really amazing gift foryou. And I'd like to gift you
the best fucking blowjob of yourlife. You're welcome. You know,
that's the energy we're goinginto.
I love it. Okay, teach us Yousaid you have like a method
that's, I do X 99% of the time.
Yeah, it'scalled the magic sequence.
(09:07):
Tell us if you're open to givingus the magic part of it. Yes.
Okay. So there's, there'sseveral steps to get to the
magic secret. Okay. So, as weknow, with especially with like,
pussy pleasure, we want to takeour time. Now when it comes to a
penis, because the arousal formen and people with penises
(09:29):
tends to start from the insideout like caulk first and then
the rest of the body might get alittle bit more juicy and
aroused. It's a little bitdifferent, we still do want to
bring in a little element ofteas, because we want to build
up that pleasure, but we don'twant to tease to the point where
they're like, they're coming toofast and be like, Oh, I missed
the boat. But we do want to kindof, you know, take our time to
(09:54):
kind of get down there. So, ofcourse, you know, and I go into
this in a lot more detail. Andin telling tactics, but the
general sort of just taking yourtime to like, make out with
them, you know, work your waydown their chest, sort of tease
around their legs, and then yousort of start with like, some
licking, all the way up alongthe shaft and swelling around
(10:19):
the top as well. Kissing thingslike that before actually taking
it all in your mouth. Yes. And Ithink like, you know, just like
we don't really appreciate whensomeone just like suddenly
starts like DJing the clip, orjust like rubbing real hard
right on the clip, it's notgoing to feel as good, I mean,
(10:39):
gonna feel a lot better forthem. But it's not going to feel
as good. If you're just like,okay, immediately, like, you're
going to take the whole thing,I'm going to do three straight
away. Look, they're probablygoing to love that. But I like
to set us up for success. And Iwant us to feel really, really
comfortable to continue on, asopposed to immediately going.
(11:02):
And yeah, exactly. Like, youwant to build yourself up as
well. Because like this is alsoan arousal process for you. You
can feel a lot of pleasure bygiving a blowjob and
that power dynamic, in myexperience, when I you know,
don't just Deep Throatstraightaway, and I'm like,
(11:22):
yeah, just just slowly, almostlike that tease. There is a real
you know, I have my man'spleasure. And in my hands.
Exactly. And there is a realthere's a ton on in. Yeah,
bringing that energy alive.
Absolutely. And I think that,you know, if we are thinking of
those power dynamics, you know,if it's just like, okay, cool,
(11:42):
I'm going to, you know, enterthe groin or region, and then
suddenly a dick is all the wayinside of my mouth. Yeah. It's,
it feels more like, Oh, this isfor you. And now you're just
like, kind of getting yourpleasure and like using my mouth
for your pleasure. Whereas Iwant this to be a reverend
experience. I want this to besomething where I'm like, I have
(12:04):
the power here, and I'm gonna doit. And they're just like, Oh my
God, oh, my God. Oh, my God.
What is she doing next? Like,this is amazing. And I'm losing
my marbles. That's what I want.
I want them to be like squirmingand losing their ship. So that's
why I tend not to go likestraight to like, full cocking
mouth. Yeah.
You say, go to cog you weresaying all licking up the shark?
(12:26):
And then looking around. And soI love like hands and mouth.
Yeah. Because you can kind ofcreate this illusion of
deepthroating as well. Yes.
Which is really, really handy.
So I love to sort of create thisO ring around the base of the
penis. And so maybe, you know,you start with licking, and then
(12:47):
you go up around the head, andthen back down and do a few of
those maybe sort of like kissalong as well. We have to
remember though, that the shaftof the penis is nowhere near as
sensitive as the tip. Right. Sojust like it wouldn't be quite
as exhilarating if someone isjust like, massaging our left
(13:11):
flap. Yeah, for like 10 minutes.
Like, next, like you like, likeclear, like go to HUD to be
clear, because the rest of itright. So it's kind of like that
we don't want to just like focuson just like, oh, kissing,
kissing and like up and down andup and down. We want to make
sure that we're actually usingthe entire penis and, and
(13:35):
getting the head involved aswell. So it might be that you're
like using your hands and youkind of go up and around the top
and then back down and sort oflike up and around and back
down. And again, you can do thatwith your tongue as well like
licking up swirling, becausethat frenulum which is the sort
of seam under the tip of thepenis that is incredibly
(14:01):
sensitive. And so like flickingthere can be really really great
not spending too much time therebut sort of flicking and then
going back down along the shaftcan be really really amazing.
Yes, so article that like thelollipop like licking Yes, yeah,
up swelling around the head andback down. And then we can get
the hands involved as well. I'vegot to move that article, the
(14:22):
pepper grinder, which soundskind of aggressive, like you're
not like squeezing. Chill out alittle bit. We're not giving it
like a little burn. But youknow, we gentle but like
relatively firm. And so we cankind of get that pepper grinder
motion that's kind of going liketwisting the hands in like a
(14:46):
fist sort of motion, either way,right? And we can kind of do
that up and down. That's really,really wonderful to get that
motion. So that's just if you'redoing hands only Of course you
can bring the mouth in into thesame motion. And this is where
the magic sequence will come in.
It's essentially a combo of likelicking, sucking, and the pepper
(15:08):
grinder.
Okay.
So of course, there's lots andlots of different, like tips and
tricks about like actuallysucking and having the clock in
your mouth. But the magicsequence is all about adding in
that hand movement with thatsort of O ring with your finger
(15:30):
pointer finger and your thumbaround the base, and creating
that twisting motion up anddown. And then following that
with your hat, head and yourmouth, so your head will sort of
follow and go around at the sametime. So you're twisting down,
like left, and then turning yourhead and your hand, right, and
(15:50):
then off and then back down. Andthat can feel so amazing. So
just that motion is going tofeel great, because it's going
to feel similar to a deepthroat. Got
you. But it's an illusion,because the hand is there, but
it's still giving the sensationof Yes. Of
the entire coffee. Yes, likeconsuming. Yes. Right. So that's
(16:12):
amazing. And you can control aswell how much of the penis you
want to take into your mouth.
Because you can have like theentire hand around doing that
pepper grinder motion, or youcan take 123 fingers off, so
that it's just that O ring, aswell. So
you can slowly take more fingersoff so that you slowly are able
(16:34):
to take more of the penis intoyour mouth.
Exactly, exactly. And so themagic sequence is using that
kind of motion, but in a bit ofa pattern. Okay, so you can
choose what pattern works foryou. But I find so using that
(16:54):
pepper grinder with the head,sort of taking it into the
mouth, up and down that twistysort of motion. I like to go 123
And then my fingers will sort ofcome off or I'll take my hand
slightly away or I'll just havethat ring and I'll go as deep as
possible. Okay, love that. Soit's kind of like 123 deep.
(17:17):
Yeah, and then kind of comealmost all the way off. Maybe
like a little like flick overthe very tip of the penis with
the tongue. And then 123 deep123 Deep flick a we'll see. I
swear to God, the amount ofpeople who like I've got so many
(17:38):
testimonials from tongue tacticslike hundreds. And the amount of
people that like the magicsequence Elena What the fuck?
What is this sorcery? It is sogood.
Oh my god. I love that.
It's amazing. Because it createstrading
to people just think it's like,bom bom bom bom where and I
haven't got that full sequencedown, Pat. I'm very excited to
(18:01):
use that. But I love like, yes,switching up the rhythm and like
deepthroating and then comingback to the tip and like
circles. And yeah, there is anenergy of that. That's just
Yeah, driving a person wild whenyou do that.
Exactly. And what I love aboutthis is that like, you know,
some people are all about thedeep throat and others are not.
Yeah, and I never want anyone tofeel pressured to Deep Throat.
(18:23):
Yeah, it is. It is an intensething. And it's not for
everybody. And some people havevery sensitive gag reflexes. And
so this you don't have to DeepThroat but it's just like that.
The sweatshop of sort of, notshallow, but like, you know,
more shallow, shallow, shallow,then deeper. And it's kind of
(18:44):
changing that to make them go,oh my god, like I'm, I'm in
deeper, and that feels really,really wonderful for them. And
it also adds to the tip as well.
Yeah, that'sexactly that like teasing, like,
flick over the frenulum over thetip as well. leaves them sort of
wanting more. And it's, youknow, for men often like that,
(19:04):
that continuous pattern can feelfeel great. But it's a nice sort
of blend of switching things upand keeping a rhythm as well. So
rather than just like, Okay, Ifeel like I need to just go up
and down, up and down, up anddown constantly and I am sore,
my neck is sore. Like I'm havingno breaks. This is giving you a
(19:27):
chance to have a break, you geta breath. And you can kind of
keep it up and you can sort ofyou know, I actually except in
my head like 123 I'm doinglaughing, right? It it keeps it
so it's a little bit different.
So they they get they get thispattern that they're sort of
(19:49):
almost expecting it. But you'renot switching up too much that
they're like oh fuck now I can'tfocus because you just changed
it entirely new doing somethingtotally different. It just
builds things up so much, givesthem a little bit of a window
into like that depth. Butwithout you having to, like, do
like a whole minute of like,would pick a style Deep Throat,
(20:13):
that doesn't feel good for youand that you can't maintain this
means that you can kind of keepgoing for ages. And so you could
do like five rounds. And thenyou could kind of tease them a
bit and just sort of, you know,swipe your thumb over the tip
and like look up at them and saysomething about like, how hot
they are. And like how hard andlike juicy they are for you. And
like, you know, you saysomething that makes them just
(20:34):
like lose their minds. Or maybeyou know, you kind of like
gently cut the balls, and thenlike ask them, like, do you want
me to keep going and tease them,and they're gonna love it. And
then you go back to your magicsequence again. But I always say
like, we build up to the magicsequence. We don't start with
(20:55):
the magic sequence, you know, wewant to want to take our time
worthy of receivingand build up with things like
you said before, we'd likelicking the shaft circling
around thehead. Yeah, yeah. clay
balls, you gently you kind ofspoke about them, then tell us
more. So you incorporate howlittle to incorporate what to do
(21:19):
really dependson the person. Yes, you know, so
some people will have verysensitive and some are like,
squeeze. Yeah, before, right.
Most of the time, I think ageneral rule is be gentle, be
very gentle. So when you'redoing doing your thing, you can
even just gently cup. And Ithink it's really, really nice
to just sort of gently have likea little cupping moment where
(21:39):
it's again, that like presence,like we spoke about with cupping
Evolver as our energeticbookends, in our policy pro
lesson. It's kind of just thatlike presence, like I'm here.
And I have some kind of controlhere. And it's enough to sort of
sensitize the nerves a littlebit. And just holding there can
(22:03):
be really, really nice. You canalso like gently massage the
balls as well just really tunein with like how they feel. And
if they actually want want thatsensation or not, you can gently
sort of like almost like tickle,not like tickle, but like
slightly stroke very nice andgentle. as well. As you're doing
(22:26):
your thing. Yeah, you know, andthat can be really, really
great. Some people will findthat like a bit of pressure on
the perineum as well can bereally, really wonderful. And
that can enhance things, I wouldtend to save the perineum
stimulation for whenlater in the game.
(22:46):
You know what I mean? We want tomake sure that we've done our,
our, our work, the thing that wecame here to do, yes, before we
sort of stimulate that spotmakes them go well, yes,
because something I was gonnaask. And we talk a lot here on
the podcast. Now, listeners loveus talking about anal play,
(23:11):
which I love, which I think fora man or a person with penis can
be incredibly pleasurable,especially when, you know,
anytime during pleasure, butespecially when they're having
their caucus up. So I love thatyou just said like, don't go
there too early. Because thatcan be incredibly stimulating
experience for you know, a man.
So yeah, any any suggestions orrecommendations if someone is
(23:35):
wanting to, you know, add, butplay into? Yeah, did that
experienceas always, making sure that you
have that conversation firstthat you are aware? Because, you
know, a lot of people do have alot of armor around. Around
anal. Yeah. And so, yeah,firstly, you know, this is
something that they're into, orthey're not into, and you have
that sort of consent there. Butthen starting, I would say,
(23:59):
like, kind of working your waythere. So like you're, you're
exploring with the penis, andthen you can explore with the
bowls, and then you can go tothe perineum and have like a bit
of pressure. And just like thatgentle sort of like push and
even just like a steady push,and hold. Yeah. And then maybe
you sort of pulsate a little bitand then maybe you circle around
there, and then you can kind ofwork towards the actual anus
(24:23):
itself. And I'm gonna use thisas a little example for the
video, but just sort of allowingthe presence so it might even
just be a finger there, or aboutlike, just like placed on not in
yet.
Because that prayer even thatpressure can really that can be
(24:45):
incredible. Even like you said,that pressure on the perineum. I
know that's something Jacobloves. So yeah, that's sometimes
you know, I won't humor I won'twant to, you know, do but play
in that moment, but just thatpressure on the perineum,
whilst, you know, sucking hiscock is That's like, I bring
that in towards the end. BecauseI know that's going to be just
something totally, and allplaying with kind of like doing
(25:08):
that coming off at doing that.
And that can just be a reallybeautiful amplify for the
experience. Definitely.
And so I think yeah, I thinkthat's a really, really good
point that like, when we talkabout anal, it's not just like,
suddenly you have like a dildoall the way up. Yeah, or like
the biggest, like you've everseen. And it's like working your
way, valley, even just thepresence of like, like massaging
(25:29):
the like the OS cheeks, and thengetting closer and closer. And
this, like massaging around theanus itself, that can feel
really, really great forsomeone. And it doesn't have to
go any further than that.
We were talking about blendedpleasure in the last episode,
and I haven't really thought ofit like this, but that can
almost be you know, he noticedthis in my husband like, yeah,
like even just touching, youknow, the groin or the inner
(25:52):
legs? Or like, yeah, the thebutt cheeks are apparently like,
just adding that stimulation orjust a sense of touch whilst
sucking his cock is just such aninherently exert? Totally,
absolutely, I think this is areally, really important thing
to think about, you know,everybody has the potential for
blended orgasms. And for someonewith a penis, you know, yes, the
(26:16):
arousal starts from the center.
But as you're like sucking andyou're doing your thing, the
rest of their body is going tostart getting a bit more
charged. And so let your handswander, if you have hands
available, then let them wander,like, you know, gently sort of
stroke inside the thighs, bringyour hands around to their
booty, you know, go up alongtheir chest, maybe like a finger
(26:39):
in their mouth as well. Likethat kind of thing can feel so
great to just sort of blend itand bring their awareness out as
well. This is especially handy.
So I talked about in tonguetactics, a concept that I like
to call the pleasure percent,which is essentially the the act
(27:01):
of edging, right? Yeah. But whenyou think that your partner is
getting too close to finishing,and you're not finished, you're
like, hey, I want to keep ongoing. I've got so much more
like a magic sequence. I haven'teven gotten there yet. Hold up,
wait a minute. Like we canactually start to diffuse that
pleasure. Yes. So it's all sortof concentrated in the penis,
(27:24):
and they're like, Oh, my God,like, everything feels amazing
here. But if we feel like, Oh,they're getting really close,
and I want I want to extendtheir pleasure, then I'm going
to sort of move away from it.
And so I might sort of slow downwhat I'm doing here or pull away
slightly not not fully. I thinkif we fully kind of just leave
them. Yeah, it can feel like oh,hey, yeah, go. So just sort of
(27:45):
slowing down or reducing theintensity of what you're doing
around their penis, and thenmoving the sensation elsewhere
on their body that can help todefuse that pleasure. And it can
bring that awareness like oh,wow, like I actually can feel
some pleasure moving throughoutmy chest now and like, Oh, I
(28:07):
feel like kind of running downmy legs and that's a really
wonderful invitation for them toreally expand their pleasure
potential and not have it sogenital focused.
I think that's you spoke about ablow job being like a gift.
Yeah, we can give a man that Ithink even more so because it's
(28:29):
almost like where supportinviting them into a new
relationship with pleasure intheir body. Because a lot of men
have just related to the clockin this like, I'm going to just
go privately put on pornquickly, you know? Yeah, like
jerk off and they don't reallyknow the experience of like, how
(28:50):
that pleasure can move from thegenitals into the rest of the
body so that can I almost thinkof like blow jobs is like this
almost like priestess energywhere it's like I was gonna say
hi, let me teach you what'spossible in your body.
I can show you thoughthat's what I feel like. Yeah,
(29:12):
like just see like baby likewe're gonna we're gonna go
somewhere specialty Yes. It's sowonderful. But like, you know, I
think that is such a commonidentity or experience that it's
like okay, cool. Any type ofpleasure whether it's me jerking
off whether it's me fuckingsomeone or if it's me getting a
(29:33):
blowjob is just in our in our inour really, really quick and
boom. And that's it felt good,amazing. It's a little snack,
but there's so much more that wecan experience and if you're,
like sharing a blowjob withsomeone, you're going to bring
that pleasure to them. Like Iwant you to know that you have
so much power there. And powerisn't like an inherently like
(29:54):
bad or negative thing. Likethat's such a fucking amazing
thing. What a privilegedposition to Be in to have that
power to bring someone so muchpleasure, like us that like
revere that and like worshipthat cause because it's so it's
so cool seeing someone justlike, lose their mind because of
(30:16):
you thatlet's speak I want I want to
hear a few more tactics. But I'malso I think that energetic pace
and I remember when I used tosuck cock from this place of
like, well I don't want to bedown here like, can I just get
it over and done with Yeah. Whatwould you say to someone who is
sitting here being like, oh,like like you enjoy that what do
(30:37):
you like? Yeah. And because Ithink a big part of like COC
worship is being able togenuinely, you know, look that
cock in the eye and be likeYou're beautiful. I'm excited to
put you in my mouth. I'm excitedto you know, I have a
relationship with you right now.
And that can be a fuckingjourney. And I think he's deeply
(30:59):
related to obviously the personhas that caucus well. But yeah,
what would what would be, whatwould be some of those pieces
you would bring around that arefor? So
very similar to the topic thatwe talk about a lot when we
speak about going down on apolicy is safety. So I'm not
(31:20):
going to give just anyone a blowjob. Just because I like giving
blowjobs I like giving a blowjobto someone who I feel deserves
it, who I feel safe with who Itrust, who I know, cares about
my pleasure as well. And isn'tjust trying to use me to get
their pleasure. Despite the factthat I'm I'm wanting to bring
(31:42):
them pleasure in that moment. IfI feel like it's kind of more
like transactional or just likeone sided? Yeah, I'm not going
to be as excited about doingthat. So firstly, think about
like, who? Who are you goingdown on? And like, do you
actually really give a fuckabout their pleasure? They do?
Do you want to connect with themin this way? Or does it feel
like a chore? Do you feel likeyou're not being respected in
(32:05):
some way, shape? Or form? Isthere some kind of lingering
resentment within yourrelationship within your
connection, then it's not goingto be as Reverend, you're not
going to like it as much. And soI think that's a really, really
key factor. Yeah, again, youknow, as much as I love sharing,
(32:27):
like tangible tips andtechniques, we can never, ever
just throw that on to a badrelationship. You know, if
you're like, I resent you,because for the past, like 10
years, you have belittled meevery single day in front of my
family, or whatever. Or like youliterally never do what you say
(32:48):
you're gonna do, or like there'ssomething there that is like
this, this festering resentment.
There's no no tips and tricksthat I can teach you that are
going to just be like, Oh, cool.
Now, like, I can give you agreat blowjob. I don't want to,
because I don't like I'm gonnasend you like, I don't feel
connected with you. I don't feelsafe with you. I don't respect
you, or I don't feel respectedby you. Like, you're not you
(33:09):
need to work on that stufffirst. Yeah. And so this isn't a
band aid. This is more like, howcan we elevate a great sex life
that we already have?
I love that. And so much of whatyou just spoke about is like
such key topics we talk abouthere, like that resentment
piece, I often say if you don'twant to fuck your partner, what
conversation are you not having?
We're like what's going on saidwe talked about like the channel
between the hearts like, whatthey're blocking that intimacy
(33:32):
that then makes all of thispossible and fun and playful and
beautiful. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
Andthe thing is, as well, like, I
want to really speak to like thesingle folks as well, because I
don't know about your audiences,predominantly couples. But you
know, any single peoplelistening, I think it's also
(33:52):
really important to recognizethat you can still have some
really wonderful and connectedand intimate sex casually. And
you don't have to have this likewild, long term love to be able
to have that deep connection andlike give a great blow job. But
you just do have to feelrespected by the other person.
Yeah. And you have to respectthem as well. Like if you're
(34:14):
going to share connection andpleasure and intimacy with
someone like there's got to besome sort of base level there.
If you're like, I'm just gonnause this person to get off or I
feel like they're just using meto get off in the data care
about me at all. Or we haven'thad any conversations about
where we stand then there's notgoing to be as good. I put on
like a great performance and agreat show. And I might be
(34:34):
wonderful and they might have agreat time. But I really really
would love to advocate for you.
prioritizing your pleasure andyour connection and your
intimacy and honesty as well.
Yeah, love that. Okay, anyonetactics you want to share?
(34:56):
Okay, so there's lots ofdifferent ways to like lick and
suck. Pause. So we've got likethe lollipop sort of just like
looking straight up and goingaround and then back down. I
like to kind of call it like acorncob. But like, don't buy it.
It's more of like a kissing soyou can kind of like kiss. And
not just like a peck but morethat like kind of making out
(35:17):
like with tongue. Yeah, yes. upalong the shaft and then around
the tip as well. Okay, solike the sides? Yeah, like a
concrete almost? Yeah. Okay.
So you can kind of do thatthat's more of an entry level.
So like starting off? Yeah, andteasing them. And then, like,
just fully level like meaninghas in the beginning. Yeah, not
not like babies. Babies. Maybeit is. But like, started, we
(35:45):
stopped there. Because that'smore of a tease. At some point.
That's not going to feel asexciting. Yeah, we're gonna be
like, Okay, let's continue on.
Yeah, but just like fully makingout with the clock as well like
the tape of it just like, youknow, bringing that tongue in
and sort of swirling it around.
I like to think of more kind oflike a little cyclone around. So
(36:08):
you can similar to what wetalked about with the clip,
creating that kind of vortex ina way. So you might sort of suck
on the head or bring your mouthover the head, the corona of the
penis. And then at the same timeas having that sort of suction,
you're swirling your tonguearound, right, you might swirl
it around in circles, you mightgo side to side, or up and down
(36:31):
as well. But the thing is, iswith the penises, we want to
make sure that we get a lot ofit involved. Yes, the main
sensation is going to be aroundthe corona and the term. But we
want to, you know, pay attentionto Photoshop. So that's why I
like to do that magic sequencewhere I'm paying attention to
the top. And then I'm goingdeeper. And then I come up, and
(36:53):
I pay a little bit moreattention here. And I tease them
to the point of like, oh mygosh, they're getting close. And
then I'll sort of back it off bytaking in the whole thing.
They kind of go around, you kindof spoke about eye contact
before. And I think like whenyou're at the tip of the head,
that can be a really beautifultime to just like, look up a
(37:14):
little too. I think that'sreally fun. Now the thing I love
to do is give a blowjob in frontof a mirror. Here is in our
bedroom. So it's easy, butspeaking of power, I love like
having moments of seeing myself.
Oh my gosh, and I think amazing.
And I just think again, this isfor anyone who feels like fuck,
I don't that feels like a duty.
I do it. But I don't I'm findingit hard to access that place
(37:37):
where I feel like a fuckingpowerful priestess. Yeah. But
yeah, I think that for me justhaving that reflection of me
doing that can really activatemy own turn on. Yes. Like a blow
job can feel like foreplay.
For me, yeah, absolutely. Yeah,I find that too. Like, I often
find that like, I've gotten to acertain point. And I'm like, I
(38:00):
now need you inside meelsewhere. Like I'm worked up.
And so huge advocate for themirror. Massive advocate for eye
contact, you know, even ifyou're like, you know, laying
down or you're on your kneesbelow them like that eye contact
is like, it can be really cheekyand really powerful. I'm like,
(38:23):
do you want me to continue orlike, it'll be like that, asking
those questions and teasing themlike they're going to lose their
shit. And having a mirror thatamazing to see that reflection
of like, this is how powerful Iam. I also think it's really,
really wonderful. If you havehands available that you can
sort of start to massage yourclit or your breasts as well
(38:46):
bring your breasts in as well isa really, really wonderful thing
to do to sort of switch thingsup especially if you're getting
a little bit sore and your jawmay a little bit of a break. But
a lot of men will really enjoythat visual of their cough
between your breasts. And it canfeel really wonderful for you as
well. So sort of like cuppingand like squeezing the clock
(39:07):
around in between the breastscan be really great and so you
can kind of incorporate that andthen like a little bit of a lick
and then kind of go back to yourledger. It's a nice little
intermission if you will. Alittle like TD intermission.
Please enjoy the tidies while wehave a short break. Exactly. I
(39:31):
think that's just so much morethan what we think. Yeah,
but it's not just woodpecker inan hour delay.
Yeah, yeah. And again, we get toexpand our sexual partners
experience of their own pleasureusually in when we're expanding
our repertoire of tonguesucking, touching tactics.
(39:55):
I think that you know, we haveoften this very, with a lot
other things in life but we havea very like narrow view of like,
oh well blow jobs are just likewhat Becca style in and out in
and out quickly, quick, quick,quick until they come. But we
can make it so much moreinteresting for them for us, we
can expand that potential forpleasure. And we can also really
(40:15):
extend it. You know, I thinkthat so often we have this idea
that like, men come really fastand blah, blah, blah. And like,
oh, I don't want to give I know,a lot of women actually have
told me that, like, I don't wantto give a blowjob, because then
they're gonna come too fast. Andthen I'm not gonna get mine. And
so something that I do actuallyteach in telling tactics is
about like, know, the grandfinale, like, Are we are we
(40:38):
finishing and have a finishingon us in us? Or are we like
moving it along? saying, Okay,now the next step on the
pleasure train is yes, medulla,let's go.
I enter you teach to have thatconversation. But to be kind of
clear on that before or what,what, what's your thoughts are
(40:58):
on that?
I think he can have it before,but I also think it's really
nice in the moment, like, Oh, myGod, babe, I need you inside me.
Yes, yeah. And that's reallyhot. Like you can kind of like,
do your thing and see with thenonverbal cues and see where
they're at. And if they'regetting close. And then you
could just say like, oh my god,like I, you could come up and
like, kiss them and just belike, I need you inside me right
(41:20):
now. And like, mount them andjust like, get on top and have a
little ride? Or like, Babe, Ineed you to take me now. So you
can invite the experience tocontinue? I think so often, we
think it's like a grand finale.
And it's just going to endthere. Yes. And sometimes that
can feel a bit too one sided. Ifwe haven't had our pleasure, you
(41:42):
know, yes, giving a blowjob canbe super, super pleasurable. But
we still haven't had a gentle,gentle stimulated in my life. I
don't want that to, like wedon't like we don't want them to
have like, Come. And thenthey're like, Oh, cool. They're
all seated next to us. And we'relike, and if they don't sort of
offer to, I don't ever want itto be transactional, like you
get your turn, and I get myturn. But we can continue this
(42:05):
and it can be it can be thestart of the journey. Yeah,
doesn't have to always be thefull stop. Totally end of the
orgasm and like coming isn'tever a full stop either. I'll be
just have that ingrained in usthat that like, oh, man done.
Next up? Yes, that's not true.
And I would really like to sortof challenge people to question
(42:27):
that conditioning around, mancome Sexton, you know, we can
keep on going. There's so manydifferent things that we
continue to do. And we canadvocate for our own pleasure.
And we can, you know, trydifferent things. But yeah, I
think there's a lot more that wecan do from there. Yeah,
I think that advocating for ourown pleasure as women is just
(42:48):
like, that's one of the biggestpieces, right? And so much I
think when we are advocating andI've seen this in my own
journey, and many of the womenI've worked with, when we
actually learn that we are moreexcited to fucking Peter upon.
Because we're not in thatresentment of like, this is
feels one sided. This feelssuper transactional every time
we're doing it or like thisfeels just yeah, like dutiful.
(43:11):
Yeah. Where it actually feelslike, yeah, we're having our
needs met. And we have we'retaking up space in that part of
the relationship.
Yeah. Because like, you know,you're going to feel this energy
if, like, if someone's goingdown on you, and they're like,
oh, man, I really hope that theydon't come because I want to
keep having like differentstyles of sex and like, you're
gonna kind of feel thathesitation and a pulling back in
(43:33):
a way. Whereas if you know, I'mgoing to provide them a lot of
pleasure. And then we're goingto do even more amazing things
together. That's what's comingnext. Like, you're going to kind
of give it your all, you're notgoing to hold back. Yes.
I love that. One thing that justpopped into my mind, and maybe
we finish with this, that Ithink, and I'm speaking
(43:57):
specifically of women here,again, this was my journey, and
many of the women I've workedwith, have a fear of actually
being the kind of woman thatgoes I'm gonna suck your cock
and I'm gonna love it. Yeah,yeah. Right. What would you what
would you and I know, that's abig
hole, unpacking all of that. Youknow, I think that part of me
(44:23):
wants to talk about the Madonnawhore complex when it comes to
thiskind of done a whole episode on
that so amazing. I'll guidepeople back but please speak
speak.
Well, yeah, definitely checkthat out because it's such a
such a frustrating and commonbelief that a lot of people have
(44:45):
especially men around how awoman can be and what her sexual
liberation means about her as aperson and her morally. And so I
think that there's an end we Wetake this on, we internalize
this a lot as women. And so Ithink that there can be this
(45:06):
assumption that a sexuallyliberated woman, a woman who was
like, Okay, I want to suck yourcock, and I'm gonna make you
calm so hard and like, I can'twait to like ride your day like
that you couldn't possibly be anintelligent, a nurturing, a, you
know, an honorable woman, if yousay that kind of dirty stuff,
(45:28):
you're one or the other, you'rethe Madonna Madonna or the hall
or the mother or the whore, youcan't possibly be both. And it's
just another one of thoselimiting sort of paradigms that
we play into in this world inthis society, and that we've had
thrust upon us. And so a lot ofthe time we have these
conditions, this deepconditioning that we are not
(45:52):
aware of. And that's why youknow, people listening to these
podcasts who are learning more,who've listened to your past
episode will understand, oh,fuck, maybe I've had some of
this conditioning, and I need toquestion it, I need to stop
peeling it away. Because it'snot helpful. Because it's
holding me back from, like,having as much pleasure as
possible. It's also holding meback from seeing that this
(46:13):
person that I'm dating is anamazing person and a fucking
incredible lover. And they canbe both. And maybe, you know,
the mother of my children isalso like, dirty little whore.
Exactly. And how good you don'thave to be one or the other. And
one doesn't take away from theother. Yes, so that's, I mean,
(46:35):
just gonna leave that there.
And I think as a woman, it'slike, actually, I think often
women are waiting for that tofeel comfortable, but actually,
it's feels fucking edgy, to belike, oh, what does it feel like
to really own my slot? Yes, andto just go wild while I'm giving
him a blowjob. Like, that's,that is gonna feel edgy at
(46:57):
first. I'm such an advocate forleaning into like, the awkward
and knowing that you have tokind of feel awkward and
uncomfortable in order to accessnew parts of ourselves are
awaken these parts of ourselvesthat we haven't really let
ourselves or we've beenconditioned to contort and
dilute and I think that's a bigpart of about being a woman or
being someone that enjoys sexenjoys sucking a cock, it's
(47:22):
like, got to really giveyourself permission to be that
woman, youabsolutely do have to give
yourself permission. And I alsohear, I think, you know, people
listening to this episode, ifyou're, you're listening to
this, and you're like, Yeah, butsome men that I've been with are
super judgy. And they, theyimmediately think that I'm a
sloth or they will, in slightlyin a bad way, you know, they had
(47:45):
these judgments around me beingsexually liberated. I want you
to know that that is not a man.
That is a scared little boy whodoesn't understand and
appreciate the full spectrum ofwomen and stop dating those back
(48:07):
and losers. To put it reallybluntly, like if, if if the man
that you're dating is threatenedby your sexual expression, he's
got some work to do, if he'swilling to do it brilliant. But
if he is so so heavilyconditioned that women are meant
(48:28):
to be a certain way and if youare outside of that sort of
sexually sort of limited boxthat they they want and except
then he's not for you.
A fucking man. Yeah, I thinkthat's a great place to end.
Stop dating losers. givegreat blow jobs but only to the
(48:49):
ones that really does.
Okay, anything else you want toadd before you share with the
people how to find you?
I feel like we really justwrapped that up so nice. Yeah,
okay. Tell for all the peoplethat want to go in by BJ queen
or pussy Pro. Where do they findher? Where did they find you?
(49:09):
So you can find me on Instagramat Eleanor Hadley? My website is
Elena hadley.com And you canfind all of the information how
to work with me or learn how tobecome a BJ queen.
Thank you so much for beinghere. This is so much fun, so
much fun. And have fun everyonewith your new skills. So much to
practice from these last twoepisodes. I'm Eleanor with all
(49:30):
your testimonials and results. Ineed to know I need to know how
it all goes. The magic sequencethe magic secret the magic. I'm
excited to practical magicsecret. Please give me a review.
I'd love to know definitely letus see you next week.
Yo yo yo, thank you so much fortuning in to another episode of
(49:51):
sex, love and everything inbetween. Now if you'd like to
stay connected with Megan i Youcan head on over to Instagram
and follow me At the JacobO'Neill and where can people
find you loverat the dot mag dot o
amazing and yeah guys check outthe show notes for all the
information in regards to whatwe've got coming up. And yeah,
(50:14):
we're super super grateful thatyou guys for taking the time to
listen to this podcast if you dohave any topics or any questions
like I said hit us up onInstagram and we'll see what we
can do. Apart from that have abeautiful beautiful rest of your
day. Thanks for being here. BigBig Love
Hey, beautiful humans, welcometo sex, love and everything in
between.
You're here with Jacob and mywife, Meg. And this
is the place where we have allthem very, very real role and
extremely unfilteredconversations about sex, love,
(00:26):
and everything in between.
It's here you get a behind thescenes look into our
relationship. And we will not beholding back. Well, we might not
know.
You don't know how to do that.
Not at all. So beautiful ones.
Thank you for being here. Enjoythis episode. Welcome back,
(00:48):
everybody. We have the amazingEleanor Hadley back with us
again this week, if you will,you don't have to listen to last
week's episode. But Elena waswith us last week talking about
how to pleasure policy,specifically tactics for licking
pussy. Yes. And now we're back.
We're going to be talking aboutsucking cock. And, obviously,
(01:11):
months,we're just saying like, how is
this our life job,it's rather ridiculous. But you
know, it's very important andvital information that a lot of
us don't receive. And I know, Iknow that some of you listening
have done exactly what I used todo when I was in my early 20s Go
on to Google and be like thepuck to my second dick. And so
you know what I created a closeall about it. And I'm like,
(01:31):
here, this is the informationthat you need. Because I
wasn't sure I used to hold a lotof shame. It's so interesting
that I do the work I do now,because I was the kind of
teenager that like, I kissed aboy a lot later than all my
friends. I had sex like a lot alot later, but like I was just
out of high school. So still 17but I felt so much shame for not
(01:54):
being exploratory. So I didn'twant to talk about I didn't know
what the fuck I was doing. But Idefinitely didn't want anyone to
know that I didn't know what Iwas doing. And I think that's
such an energy, even when we'rein our fucking 20s 30s, probably
40s and 50s. I know we have somepeople listening to the podcast
that have been married for, youknow, decades and decades. And
(02:16):
you know, our conversationsabout sex are really shifting
things for them. But I thinkit's so important to like, let
go of this idea that we shouldjust know what the fuck to do.
Like how exactly how, like,usually if we're in a
heterosexual relationship, weshould suddenly just know how to
pleasure. I don't know what todo with one. Like, it is wild
(02:36):
that we have this expectationthat like, oh, you should just
know and even you know, as sexeducators, when I meet people
who aren't in this space, andthey hear that I'm in Texas
educated people who mean likeyou teach people how to how to
have sex. And I'm like, Well,I'm not in the room with you
with a fucking whistle.
Because I am a sex andrelationship coach, and they
(02:57):
have a vision that I'm in thebedroom with them. Yeah, full
on, likereferee get up. And just being
like, foul play.
penalty shot.
That's a red flag. I don't knowsports. No, there's definitely a
(03:20):
space for that. That's not whatI do. But yeah, we do need to
learn how to have sex. We doneed to learn other pleasure
anatomy, we do need to learn ourown pleasure anatomy. Yeah,
because we aren't taught thatlike our sex education system is
cooked and very inadequate, anddoesn't teach about pleasure at
all. It just teachers, you know,all the scare sort of fear
(03:42):
mongering things around, sayyes. And so where are we
learning this? And if we sayporn, that's unfortunately
incorrect, because that's not agood teaching resources. Not
it's not a good place to learnbecause it is performative by
nature. It's intended to beperformative. And I'm not anti
porn by any means. But I thinkthat if that's the only place
(04:05):
that we are seeing sexrepresented, and we're not
seeking out knowledge, andobviously anyone who's listening
is seeking out knowledge, whichis wonderful. I think it is
important to learn, okay, I wantto be better and I want to bring
my lover more pleasure. What canI do? How can I be better?
And I think one and I'm sureyou're an advocate for this,
too, is, like you said, likelearning about our own pleasure.
(04:28):
And that is so I think we weretalking about in the last
episode, how so often women willmaybe this was just in our
conversations, outsourcepleasure and that was such my
experience of like, I just, youshould know. Yeah, I'm just
gonna lie here. And you turn meon you touch all the places you
do that and thenhe can't make me can't. Totally
can you make yourself and areyou communicating? What does
(04:51):
work? Do you know what works foryou? Uh huh. Like we need to
learn our own bodies soimportant completely.
And so when we learn and haveour own relationship With our
own plus our own plus his ownCox, then we can Yes, like,
education outside of that isreally important. But then we're
actually able to give our sexualpartners information. Like if
we're literally just going intoa sexual experience, assuming
(05:13):
that they should know.
Especially because everyone'sbody is different. You know,
there's, I know you said, Well,you're going to teach has a
99.9% success rate.
Yeah, gotcha.
There is there is a Yeah, like,every, every body is different
in that, that commute thatknowledge of our own body and
pleasure is so important tobring in as well. 1,000%.
(05:37):
Yeah, I think understanding yourown pleasure is very, very
important and being able tocommunicate with your partner
about like, what it is that theylike. Now, you know, we did the
pussy pro episode. And by andlarge, boulders are a little bit
more complex. And the way thatwe experience pleasure tends to
(05:58):
be a bit more complex. Dig,serve it easier. Bless them,
bless their sweet little cottonsocks, they tend to be a bit
more simple and easy to sort offigure out No, I, it's rare that
you're going to really fuck up ablow job. Unless you're doing
(06:20):
some real, real wrong, like toeat no teeth. We don't want we
don't want any accidents oremergency room visits. But, you
know, it's going to feelgenerally pretty good when
you're doing most things. Butlike with BJ queen, and with
these Tang tactics, you canreally elevate it to the point
where your lover is just like,absolutely losing their marbles.
(06:44):
And that's what we like, becausethat's like, it's honestly I
think them blow jobs is such aninteresting journey. Because I
think that a lot of people, youcan be in like one of two camps,
like I love them or hate them.
And there's not often like,like, they're okay, maybe you're
maybe you're apathetic about ajob. But what I think is really
fun in my work is taking peoplefrom like, not enjoying it,
(07:08):
fucking loving it. And I knowthat some people have heard me
sort of say that, and they'relike, What do you mean? Like, as
if you're gonna love giving ablowjob, but like, it can be so
fucking fun. And you can feel sopowerful because you're like, I
have your pleasure. Well, nowI feel my most powerful like I
run a successful business. I dolots of things as well. I feel
my most powerful sucking a cock.
(07:32):
Yeah, Igot this. It is just all me
totally.
And I think that feeling it issomething I love. Like I love
doing it for my partner. But Ialso love the transmission of my
own experience and the place Igo in myself when I when I do
that. So yeah, that wasdefinitely my journey of like,
oh, I don't know what I'mfucking doing. And I don't like
(07:53):
doing this. And I want to kindof avoid in to oh my gosh, I
can't wait. I fucking love it.
Yeah,yes. And that's like, that's
what I want people toexperience. Because I think that
a lot of the time when we thinkof sex and pleasure, especially
in a heterosexual dynamic, andespecially because we live under
like a patriarchal capitalistworld, we can feel like, our
pleasure is not ours, and thatour purpose is to provide them
(08:20):
pleasure. And so often we feelthis, like power imbalance,
almost, and making you feellike, Oh, well, I'm just doing
this for them. And they'remaking me no one should ever
make you do it. But like, like,I'm doing it just just because
they want it and it's the secondduty elements. Yeah, it's just
like, that's such an achy sortof energy around it. And I want
people to get to a place wherethey're like, I actually have
(08:44):
this really amazing gift foryou. And I'd like to gift you
the best fucking blowjob of yourlife. You're welcome. You know,
that's the energy we're goinginto.
I love it. Okay, teach us Yousaid you have like a method
that's, I do X 99% of the time.
Yeah, it'scalled the magic sequence.
(09:07):
Tell us if you're open to givingus the magic part of it. Yes.
Okay. So there's, there'sseveral steps to get to the
magic secret. Okay. So, as weknow, with especially with like,
pussy pleasure, we want to takeour time. Now when it comes to a
penis, because the arousal formen and people with penises
(09:29):
tends to start from the insideout like caulk first and then
the rest of the body might get alittle bit more juicy and
aroused. It's a little bitdifferent, we still do want to
bring in a little element ofteas, because we want to build
up that pleasure, but we don'twant to tease to the point where
they're like, they're coming toofast and be like, Oh, I missed
the boat. But we do want to kindof, you know, take our time to
(09:54):
kind of get down there. So, ofcourse, you know, and I go into
this in a lot more detail. Andin telling tactics, but the
general sort of just taking yourtime to like, make out with
them, you know, work your waydown their chest, sort of tease
around their legs, and then yousort of start with like, some
licking, all the way up alongthe shaft and swelling around
(10:19):
the top as well. Kissing thingslike that before actually taking
it all in your mouth. Yes. And Ithink like, you know, just like
we don't really appreciate whensomeone just like suddenly
starts like DJing the clip, orjust like rubbing real hard
right on the clip, it's notgoing to feel as good, I mean,
(10:39):
gonna feel a lot better forthem. But it's not going to feel
as good. If you're just like,okay, immediately, like, you're
going to take the whole thing,I'm going to do three straight
away. Look, they're probablygoing to love that. But I like
to set us up for success. And Iwant us to feel really, really
comfortable to continue on, asopposed to immediately going.
(11:02):
And yeah, exactly. Like, youwant to build yourself up as
well. Because like this is alsoan arousal process for you. You
can feel a lot of pleasure bygiving a blowjob and
that power dynamic, in myexperience, when I you know,
don't just Deep Throatstraightaway, and I'm like,
(11:22):
yeah, just just slowly, almostlike that tease. There is a real
you know, I have my man'spleasure. And in my hands.
Exactly. And there is a realthere's a ton on in. Yeah,
bringing that energy alive.
Absolutely. And I think that,you know, if we are thinking of
those power dynamics, you know,if it's just like, okay, cool,
(11:42):
I'm going to, you know, enterthe groin or region, and then
suddenly a dick is all the wayinside of my mouth. Yeah. It's,
it feels more like, Oh, this isfor you. And now you're just
like, kind of getting yourpleasure and like using my mouth
for your pleasure. Whereas Iwant this to be a reverend
experience. I want this to besomething where I'm like, I have
(12:04):
the power here, and I'm gonna doit. And they're just like, Oh my
God, oh, my God. Oh, my God.
What is she doing next? Like,this is amazing. And I'm losing
my marbles. That's what I want.
I want them to be like squirmingand losing their ship. So that's
why I tend not to go likestraight to like, full cocking
mouth. Yeah.
You say, go to cog you weresaying all licking up the shark?
(12:26):
And then looking around. And soI love like hands and mouth.
Yeah. Because you can kind ofcreate this illusion of
deepthroating as well. Yes.
Which is really, really handy.
So I love to sort of create thisO ring around the base of the
penis. And so maybe, you know,you start with licking, and then
(12:47):
you go up around the head, andthen back down and do a few of
those maybe sort of like kissalong as well. We have to
remember though, that the shaftof the penis is nowhere near as
sensitive as the tip. Right. Sojust like it wouldn't be quite
as exhilarating if someone isjust like, massaging our left
(13:11):
flap. Yeah, for like 10 minutes.
Like, next, like you like, likeclear, like go to HUD to be
clear, because the rest of itright. So it's kind of like that
we don't want to just like focuson just like, oh, kissing,
kissing and like up and down andup and down. We want to make
sure that we're actually usingthe entire penis and, and
(13:35):
getting the head involved aswell. So it might be that you're
like using your hands and youkind of go up and around the top
and then back down and sort oflike up and around and back
down. And again, you can do thatwith your tongue as well like
licking up swirling, becausethat frenulum which is the sort
of seam under the tip of thepenis that is incredibly
(14:01):
sensitive. And so like flickingthere can be really really great
not spending too much time therebut sort of flicking and then
going back down along the shaftcan be really really amazing.
Yes, so article that like thelollipop like licking Yes, yeah,
up swelling around the head andback down. And then we can get
the hands involved as well. I'vegot to move that article, the
(14:22):
pepper grinder, which soundskind of aggressive, like you're
not like squeezing. Chill out alittle bit. We're not giving it
like a little burn. But youknow, we gentle but like
relatively firm. And so we cankind of get that pepper grinder
motion that's kind of going liketwisting the hands in like a
(14:46):
fist sort of motion, either way,right? And we can kind of do
that up and down. That's really,really wonderful to get that
motion. So that's just if you'redoing hands only Of course you
can bring the mouth in into thesame motion. And this is where
the magic sequence will come in.
It's essentially a combo of likelicking, sucking, and the pepper
(15:08):
grinder.
Okay.
So of course, there's lots andlots of different, like tips and
tricks about like actuallysucking and having the clock in
your mouth. But the magicsequence is all about adding in
that hand movement with thatsort of O ring with your finger
(15:30):
pointer finger and your thumbaround the base, and creating
that twisting motion up anddown. And then following that
with your hat, head and yourmouth, so your head will sort of
follow and go around at the sametime. So you're twisting down,
like left, and then turning yourhead and your hand, right, and
(15:50):
then off and then back down. Andthat can feel so amazing. So
just that motion is going tofeel great, because it's going
to feel similar to a deepthroat. Got
you. But it's an illusion,because the hand is there, but
it's still giving the sensationof Yes. Of
the entire coffee. Yes, likeconsuming. Yes. Right. So that's
(16:12):
amazing. And you can control aswell how much of the penis you
want to take into your mouth.
Because you can have like theentire hand around doing that
pepper grinder motion, or youcan take 123 fingers off, so
that it's just that O ring, aswell. So
you can slowly take more fingersoff so that you slowly are able
(16:34):
to take more of the penis intoyour mouth.
Exactly, exactly. And so themagic sequence is using that
kind of motion, but in a bit ofa pattern. Okay, so you can
choose what pattern works foryou. But I find so using that
(16:54):
pepper grinder with the head,sort of taking it into the
mouth, up and down that twistysort of motion. I like to go 123
And then my fingers will sort ofcome off or I'll take my hand
slightly away or I'll just havethat ring and I'll go as deep as
possible. Okay, love that. Soit's kind of like 123 deep.
(17:17):
Yeah, and then kind of comealmost all the way off. Maybe
like a little like flick overthe very tip of the penis with
the tongue. And then 123 deep123 Deep flick a we'll see. I
swear to God, the amount ofpeople who like I've got so many
(17:38):
testimonials from tongue tacticslike hundreds. And the amount of
people that like the magicsequence Elena What the fuck?
What is this sorcery? It is sogood.
Oh my god. I love that.
It's amazing. Because it createstrading
to people just think it's like,bom bom bom bom where and I
haven't got that full sequencedown, Pat. I'm very excited to
(18:01):
use that. But I love like, yes,switching up the rhythm and like
deepthroating and then comingback to the tip and like
circles. And yeah, there is anenergy of that. That's just
Yeah, driving a person wild whenyou do that.
Exactly. And what I love aboutthis is that like, you know,
some people are all about thedeep throat and others are not.
Yeah, and I never want anyone tofeel pressured to Deep Throat.
(18:23):
Yeah, it is. It is an intensething. And it's not for
everybody. And some people havevery sensitive gag reflexes. And
so this you don't have to DeepThroat but it's just like that.
The sweatshop of sort of, notshallow, but like, you know,
more shallow, shallow, shallow,then deeper. And it's kind of
(18:44):
changing that to make them go,oh my god, like I'm, I'm in
deeper, and that feels really,really wonderful for them. And
it also adds to the tip as well.
Yeah, that'sexactly that like teasing, like,
flick over the frenulum over thetip as well. leaves them sort of
wanting more. And it's, youknow, for men often like that,
(19:04):
that continuous pattern can feelfeel great. But it's a nice sort
of blend of switching things upand keeping a rhythm as well. So
rather than just like, Okay, Ifeel like I need to just go up
and down, up and down, up anddown constantly and I am sore,
my neck is sore. Like I'm havingno breaks. This is giving you a
(19:27):
chance to have a break, you geta breath. And you can kind of
keep it up and you can sort ofyou know, I actually except in
my head like 123 I'm doinglaughing, right? It it keeps it
so it's a little bit different.
So they they get they get thispattern that they're sort of
(19:49):
almost expecting it. But you'renot switching up too much that
they're like oh fuck now I can'tfocus because you just changed
it entirely new doing somethingtotally different. It just
builds things up so much, givesthem a little bit of a window
into like that depth. Butwithout you having to, like, do
like a whole minute of like,would pick a style Deep Throat,
(20:13):
that doesn't feel good for youand that you can't maintain this
means that you can kind of keepgoing for ages. And so you could
do like five rounds. And thenyou could kind of tease them a
bit and just sort of, you know,swipe your thumb over the tip
and like look up at them and saysomething about like, how hot
they are. And like how hard andlike juicy they are for you. And
like, you know, you saysomething that makes them just
(20:34):
like lose their minds. Or maybeyou know, you kind of like
gently cut the balls, and thenlike ask them, like, do you want
me to keep going and tease them,and they're gonna love it. And
then you go back to your magicsequence again. But I always say
like, we build up to the magicsequence. We don't start with
(20:55):
the magic sequence, you know, wewant to want to take our time
worthy of receivingand build up with things like
you said before, we'd likelicking the shaft circling
around thehead. Yeah, yeah. clay
balls, you gently you kind ofspoke about them, then tell us
more. So you incorporate howlittle to incorporate what to do
(21:19):
really dependson the person. Yes, you know, so
some people will have verysensitive and some are like,
squeeze. Yeah, before, right.
Most of the time, I think ageneral rule is be gentle, be
very gentle. So when you'redoing doing your thing, you can
even just gently cup. And Ithink it's really, really nice
to just sort of gently have likea little cupping moment where
(21:39):
it's again, that like presence,like we spoke about with cupping
Evolver as our energeticbookends, in our policy pro
lesson. It's kind of just thatlike presence, like I'm here.
And I have some kind of controlhere. And it's enough to sort of
sensitize the nerves a littlebit. And just holding there can
(22:03):
be really, really nice. You canalso like gently massage the
balls as well just really tunein with like how they feel. And
if they actually want want thatsensation or not, you can gently
sort of like almost like tickle,not like tickle, but like
slightly stroke very nice andgentle. as well. As you're doing
(22:26):
your thing. Yeah, you know, andthat can be really, really
great. Some people will findthat like a bit of pressure on
the perineum as well can bereally, really wonderful. And
that can enhance things, I wouldtend to save the perineum
stimulation for whenlater in the game.
(22:46):
You know what I mean? We want tomake sure that we've done our,
our, our work, the thing that wecame here to do, yes, before we
sort of stimulate that spotmakes them go well, yes,
because something I was gonnaask. And we talk a lot here on
the podcast. Now, listeners loveus talking about anal play,
(23:11):
which I love, which I think fora man or a person with penis can
be incredibly pleasurable,especially when, you know,
anytime during pleasure, butespecially when they're having
their caucus up. So I love thatyou just said like, don't go
there too early. Because thatcan be incredibly stimulating
experience for you know, a man.
So yeah, any any suggestions orrecommendations if someone is
(23:35):
wanting to, you know, add, butplay into? Yeah, did that
experienceas always, making sure that you
have that conversation firstthat you are aware? Because, you
know, a lot of people do have alot of armor around. Around
anal. Yeah. And so, yeah,firstly, you know, this is
something that they're into, orthey're not into, and you have
that sort of consent there. Butthen starting, I would say,
(23:59):
like, kind of working your waythere. So like you're, you're
exploring with the penis, andthen you can explore with the
bowls, and then you can go tothe perineum and have like a bit
of pressure. And just like thatgentle sort of like push and
even just like a steady push,and hold. Yeah. And then maybe
you sort of pulsate a little bitand then maybe you circle around
there, and then you can kind ofwork towards the actual anus
(24:23):
itself. And I'm gonna use thisas a little example for the
video, but just sort of allowingthe presence so it might even
just be a finger there, or aboutlike, just like placed on not in
yet.
Because that prayer even thatpressure can really that can be
(24:45):
incredible. Even like you said,that pressure on the perineum. I
know that's something Jacobloves. So yeah, that's sometimes
you know, I won't humor I won'twant to, you know, do but play
in that moment, but just thatpressure on the perineum,
whilst, you know, sucking hiscock is That's like, I bring
that in towards the end. BecauseI know that's going to be just
something totally, and allplaying with kind of like doing
(25:08):
that coming off at doing that.
And that can just be a reallybeautiful amplify for the
experience. Definitely.
And so I think yeah, I thinkthat's a really, really good
point that like, when we talkabout anal, it's not just like,
suddenly you have like a dildoall the way up. Yeah, or like
the biggest, like you've everseen. And it's like working your
way, valley, even just thepresence of like, like massaging
(25:29):
the like the OS cheeks, and thengetting closer and closer. And
this, like massaging around theanus itself, that can feel
really, really great forsomeone. And it doesn't have to
go any further than that.
We were talking about blendedpleasure in the last episode,
and I haven't really thought ofit like this, but that can
almost be you know, he noticedthis in my husband like, yeah,
like even just touching, youknow, the groin or the inner
(25:52):
legs? Or like, yeah, the thebutt cheeks are apparently like,
just adding that stimulation orjust a sense of touch whilst
sucking his cock is just such aninherently exert? Totally,
absolutely, I think this is areally, really important thing
to think about, you know,everybody has the potential for
blended orgasms. And for someonewith a penis, you know, yes, the
(26:16):
arousal starts from the center.
But as you're like sucking andyou're doing your thing, the
rest of their body is going tostart getting a bit more
charged. And so let your handswander, if you have hands
available, then let them wander,like, you know, gently sort of
stroke inside the thighs, bringyour hands around to their
booty, you know, go up alongtheir chest, maybe like a finger
(26:39):
in their mouth as well. Likethat kind of thing can feel so
great to just sort of blend itand bring their awareness out as
well. This is especially handy.
So I talked about in tonguetactics, a concept that I like
to call the pleasure percent,which is essentially the the act
(27:01):
of edging, right? Yeah. But whenyou think that your partner is
getting too close to finishing,and you're not finished, you're
like, hey, I want to keep ongoing. I've got so much more
like a magic sequence. I haven'teven gotten there yet. Hold up,
wait a minute. Like we canactually start to diffuse that
pleasure. Yes. So it's all sortof concentrated in the penis,
(27:24):
and they're like, Oh, my God,like, everything feels amazing
here. But if we feel like, Oh,they're getting really close,
and I want I want to extendtheir pleasure, then I'm going
to sort of move away from it.
And so I might sort of slow downwhat I'm doing here or pull away
slightly not not fully. I thinkif we fully kind of just leave
them. Yeah, it can feel like oh,hey, yeah, go. So just sort of
(27:45):
slowing down or reducing theintensity of what you're doing
around their penis, and thenmoving the sensation elsewhere
on their body that can help todefuse that pleasure. And it can
bring that awareness like oh,wow, like I actually can feel
some pleasure moving throughoutmy chest now and like, Oh, I
(28:07):
feel like kind of running downmy legs and that's a really
wonderful invitation for them toreally expand their pleasure
potential and not have it sogenital focused.
I think that's you spoke about ablow job being like a gift.
Yeah, we can give a man that Ithink even more so because it's
(28:29):
almost like where supportinviting them into a new
relationship with pleasure intheir body. Because a lot of men
have just related to the clockin this like, I'm going to just
go privately put on pornquickly, you know? Yeah, like
jerk off and they don't reallyknow the experience of like, how
(28:50):
that pleasure can move from thegenitals into the rest of the
body so that can I almost thinkof like blow jobs is like this
almost like priestess energywhere it's like I was gonna say
hi, let me teach you what'spossible in your body.
I can show you thoughthat's what I feel like. Yeah,
(29:12):
like just see like baby likewe're gonna we're gonna go
somewhere specialty Yes. It's sowonderful. But like, you know, I
think that is such a commonidentity or experience that it's
like okay, cool. Any type ofpleasure whether it's me jerking
off whether it's me fuckingsomeone or if it's me getting a
(29:33):
blowjob is just in our in our inour really, really quick and
boom. And that's it felt good,amazing. It's a little snack,
but there's so much more that wecan experience and if you're,
like sharing a blowjob withsomeone, you're going to bring
that pleasure to them. Like Iwant you to know that you have
so much power there. And powerisn't like an inherently like
(29:54):
bad or negative thing. Likethat's such a fucking amazing
thing. What a privilegedposition to Be in to have that
power to bring someone so muchpleasure, like us that like
revere that and like worshipthat cause because it's so it's
so cool seeing someone justlike, lose their mind because of
(30:16):
you thatlet's speak I want I want to
hear a few more tactics. But I'malso I think that energetic pace
and I remember when I used tosuck cock from this place of
like, well I don't want to bedown here like, can I just get
it over and done with Yeah. Whatwould you say to someone who is
sitting here being like, oh,like like you enjoy that what do
(30:37):
you like? Yeah. And because Ithink a big part of like COC
worship is being able togenuinely, you know, look that
cock in the eye and be likeYou're beautiful. I'm excited to
put you in my mouth. I'm excitedto you know, I have a
relationship with you right now.
And that can be a fuckingjourney. And I think he's deeply
(30:59):
related to obviously the personhas that caucus well. But yeah,
what would what would be, whatwould be some of those pieces
you would bring around that arefor? So
very similar to the topic thatwe talk about a lot when we
speak about going down on apolicy is safety. So I'm not
(31:20):
going to give just anyone a blowjob. Just because I like giving
blowjobs I like giving a blowjobto someone who I feel deserves
it, who I feel safe with who Itrust, who I know, cares about
my pleasure as well. And isn'tjust trying to use me to get
their pleasure. Despite the factthat I'm I'm wanting to bring
(31:42):
them pleasure in that moment. IfI feel like it's kind of more
like transactional or just likeone sided? Yeah, I'm not going
to be as excited about doingthat. So firstly, think about
like, who? Who are you goingdown on? And like, do you
actually really give a fuckabout their pleasure? They do?
Do you want to connect with themin this way? Or does it feel
like a chore? Do you feel likeyou're not being respected in
(32:05):
some way, shape? Or form? Isthere some kind of lingering
resentment within yourrelationship within your
connection, then it's not goingto be as Reverend, you're not
going to like it as much. And soI think that's a really, really
key factor. Yeah, again, youknow, as much as I love sharing,
(32:27):
like tangible tips andtechniques, we can never, ever
just throw that on to a badrelationship. You know, if
you're like, I resent you,because for the past, like 10
years, you have belittled meevery single day in front of my
family, or whatever. Or like youliterally never do what you say
(32:48):
you're gonna do, or like there'ssomething there that is like
this, this festering resentment.
There's no no tips and tricksthat I can teach you that are
going to just be like, Oh, cool.
Now, like, I can give you agreat blowjob. I don't want to,
because I don't like I'm gonnasend you like, I don't feel
connected with you. I don't feelsafe with you. I don't respect
you, or I don't feel respectedby you. Like, you're not you
(33:09):
need to work on that stufffirst. Yeah. And so this isn't a
band aid. This is more like, howcan we elevate a great sex life
that we already have?
I love that. And so much of whatyou just spoke about is like
such key topics we talk abouthere, like that resentment
piece, I often say if you don'twant to fuck your partner, what
conversation are you not having?
We're like what's going on saidwe talked about like the channel
between the hearts like, whatthey're blocking that intimacy
(33:32):
that then makes all of thispossible and fun and playful and
beautiful. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
Andthe thing is, as well, like, I
want to really speak to like thesingle folks as well, because I
don't know about your audiences,predominantly couples. But you
know, any single peoplelistening, I think it's also
(33:52):
really important to recognizethat you can still have some
really wonderful and connectedand intimate sex casually. And
you don't have to have this likewild, long term love to be able
to have that deep connection andlike give a great blow job. But
you just do have to feelrespected by the other person.
Yeah. And you have to respectthem as well. Like if you're
(34:14):
going to share connection andpleasure and intimacy with
someone like there's got to besome sort of base level there.
If you're like, I'm just gonnause this person to get off or I
feel like they're just using meto get off in the data care
about me at all. Or we haven'thad any conversations about
where we stand then there's notgoing to be as good. I put on
like a great performance and agreat show. And I might be
(34:34):
wonderful and they might have agreat time. But I really really
would love to advocate for you.
prioritizing your pleasure andyour connection and your
intimacy and honesty as well.
Yeah, love that. Okay, anyonetactics you want to share?
(34:56):
Okay, so there's lots ofdifferent ways to like lick and
suck. Pause. So we've got likethe lollipop sort of just like
looking straight up and goingaround and then back down. I
like to kind of call it like acorncob. But like, don't buy it.
It's more of like a kissing soyou can kind of like kiss. And
not just like a peck but morethat like kind of making out
(35:17):
like with tongue. Yeah, yes. upalong the shaft and then around
the tip as well. Okay, solike the sides? Yeah, like a
concrete almost? Yeah. Okay.
So you can kind of do thatthat's more of an entry level.
So like starting off? Yeah, andteasing them. And then, like,
just fully level like meaninghas in the beginning. Yeah, not
not like babies. Babies. Maybeit is. But like, started, we
(35:45):
stopped there. Because that'smore of a tease. At some point.
That's not going to feel asexciting. Yeah, we're gonna be
like, Okay, let's continue on.
Yeah, but just like fully makingout with the clock as well like
the tape of it just like, youknow, bringing that tongue in
and sort of swirling it around.
I like to think of more kind oflike a little cyclone around. So
(36:08):
you can similar to what wetalked about with the clip,
creating that kind of vortex ina way. So you might sort of suck
on the head or bring your mouthover the head, the corona of the
penis. And then at the same timeas having that sort of suction,
you're swirling your tonguearound, right, you might swirl
it around in circles, you mightgo side to side, or up and down
(36:31):
as well. But the thing is, iswith the penises, we want to
make sure that we get a lot ofit involved. Yes, the main
sensation is going to be aroundthe corona and the term. But we
want to, you know, pay attentionto Photoshop. So that's why I
like to do that magic sequencewhere I'm paying attention to
the top. And then I'm goingdeeper. And then I come up, and
(36:53):
I pay a little bit moreattention here. And I tease them
to the point of like, oh mygosh, they're getting close. And
then I'll sort of back it off bytaking in the whole thing.
They kind of go around, you kindof spoke about eye contact
before. And I think like whenyou're at the tip of the head,
that can be a really beautifultime to just like, look up a
(37:14):
little too. I think that'sreally fun. Now the thing I love
to do is give a blowjob in frontof a mirror. Here is in our
bedroom. So it's easy, butspeaking of power, I love like
having moments of seeing myself.
Oh my gosh, and I think amazing.
And I just think again, this isfor anyone who feels like fuck,
I don't that feels like a duty.
I do it. But I don't I'm findingit hard to access that place
(37:37):
where I feel like a fuckingpowerful priestess. Yeah. But
yeah, I think that for me justhaving that reflection of me
doing that can really activatemy own turn on. Yes. Like a blow
job can feel like foreplay.
For me, yeah, absolutely. Yeah,I find that too. Like, I often
find that like, I've gotten to acertain point. And I'm like, I
(38:00):
now need you inside meelsewhere. Like I'm worked up.
And so huge advocate for themirror. Massive advocate for eye
contact, you know, even ifyou're like, you know, laying
down or you're on your kneesbelow them like that eye contact
is like, it can be really cheekyand really powerful. I'm like,
(38:23):
do you want me to continue orlike, it'll be like that, asking
those questions and teasing themlike they're going to lose their
shit. And having a mirror thatamazing to see that reflection
of like, this is how powerful Iam. I also think it's really,
really wonderful. If you havehands available that you can
sort of start to massage yourclit or your breasts as well
(38:46):
bring your breasts in as well isa really, really wonderful thing
to do to sort of switch thingsup especially if you're getting
a little bit sore and your jawmay a little bit of a break. But
a lot of men will really enjoythat visual of their cough
between your breasts. And it canfeel really wonderful for you as
well. So sort of like cuppingand like squeezing the clock
(39:07):
around in between the breastscan be really great and so you
can kind of incorporate that andthen like a little bit of a lick
and then kind of go back to yourledger. It's a nice little
intermission if you will. Alittle like TD intermission.
Please enjoy the tidies while wehave a short break. Exactly. I
(39:31):
think that's just so much morethan what we think. Yeah,
but it's not just woodpecker inan hour delay.
Yeah, yeah. And again, we get toexpand our sexual partners
experience of their own pleasureusually in when we're expanding
our repertoire of tonguesucking, touching tactics.
(39:55):
I think that you know, we haveoften this very, with a lot
other things in life but we havea very like narrow view of like,
oh well blow jobs are just likewhat Becca style in and out in
and out quickly, quick, quick,quick until they come. But we
can make it so much moreinteresting for them for us, we
can expand that potential forpleasure. And we can also really
(40:15):
extend it. You know, I thinkthat so often we have this idea
that like, men come really fastand blah, blah, blah. And like,
oh, I don't want to give I know,a lot of women actually have
told me that, like, I don't wantto give a blowjob, because then
they're gonna come too fast. Andthen I'm not gonna get mine. And
so something that I do actuallyteach in telling tactics is
about like, know, the grandfinale, like, Are we are we
(40:38):
finishing and have a finishingon us in us? Or are we like
moving it along? saying, Okay,now the next step on the
pleasure train is yes, medulla,let's go.
I enter you teach to have thatconversation. But to be kind of
clear on that before or what,what, what's your thoughts are
(40:58):
on that?
I think he can have it before,but I also think it's really
nice in the moment, like, Oh, myGod, babe, I need you inside me.
Yes, yeah. And that's reallyhot. Like you can kind of like,
do your thing and see with thenonverbal cues and see where
they're at. And if they'regetting close. And then you
could just say like, oh my god,like I, you could come up and
like, kiss them and just belike, I need you inside me right
(41:20):
now. And like, mount them andjust like, get on top and have a
little ride? Or like, Babe, Ineed you to take me now. So you
can invite the experience tocontinue? I think so often, we
think it's like a grand finale.
And it's just going to endthere. Yes. And sometimes that
can feel a bit too one sided. Ifwe haven't had our pleasure, you
(41:42):
know, yes, giving a blowjob canbe super, super pleasurable. But
we still haven't had a gentle,gentle stimulated in my life. I
don't want that to, like wedon't like we don't want them to
have like, Come. And thenthey're like, Oh, cool. They're
all seated next to us. And we'relike, and if they don't sort of
offer to, I don't ever want itto be transactional, like you
get your turn, and I get myturn. But we can continue this
(42:05):
and it can be it can be thestart of the journey. Yeah,
doesn't have to always be thefull stop. Totally end of the
orgasm and like coming isn'tever a full stop either. I'll be
just have that ingrained in usthat that like, oh, man done.
Next up? Yes, that's not true.
And I would really like to sortof challenge people to question
(42:27):
that conditioning around, mancome Sexton, you know, we can
keep on going. There's so manydifferent things that we
continue to do. And we canadvocate for our own pleasure.
And we can, you know, trydifferent things. But yeah, I
think there's a lot more that wecan do from there. Yeah,
I think that advocating for ourown pleasure as women is just
(42:48):
like, that's one of the biggestpieces, right? And so much I
think when we are advocating andI've seen this in my own
journey, and many of the womenI've worked with, when we
actually learn that we are moreexcited to fucking Peter upon.
Because we're not in thatresentment of like, this is
feels one sided. This feelssuper transactional every time
we're doing it or like thisfeels just yeah, like dutiful.
(43:11):
Yeah. Where it actually feelslike, yeah, we're having our
needs met. And we have we'retaking up space in that part of
the relationship.
Yeah. Because like, you know,you're going to feel this energy
if, like, if someone's goingdown on you, and they're like,
oh, man, I really hope that theydon't come because I want to
keep having like differentstyles of sex and like, you're
gonna kind of feel thathesitation and a pulling back in
(43:33):
a way. Whereas if you know, I'mgoing to provide them a lot of
pleasure. And then we're goingto do even more amazing things
together. That's what's comingnext. Like, you're going to kind
of give it your all, you're notgoing to hold back. Yes.
I love that. One thing that justpopped into my mind, and maybe
we finish with this, that Ithink, and I'm speaking
(43:57):
specifically of women here,again, this was my journey, and
many of the women I've workedwith, have a fear of actually
being the kind of woman thatgoes I'm gonna suck your cock
and I'm gonna love it. Yeah,yeah. Right. What would you what
would you and I know, that's abig
hole, unpacking all of that. Youknow, I think that part of me
(44:23):
wants to talk about the Madonnawhore complex when it comes to
thiskind of done a whole episode on
that so amazing. I'll guidepeople back but please speak
speak.
Well, yeah, definitely checkthat out because it's such a
such a frustrating and commonbelief that a lot of people have
(44:45):
especially men around how awoman can be and what her sexual
liberation means about her as aperson and her morally. And so I
think that there's an end we Wetake this on, we internalize
this a lot as women. And so Ithink that there can be this
(45:06):
assumption that a sexuallyliberated woman, a woman who was
like, Okay, I want to suck yourcock, and I'm gonna make you
calm so hard and like, I can'twait to like ride your day like
that you couldn't possibly be anintelligent, a nurturing, a, you
know, an honorable woman, if yousay that kind of dirty stuff,
(45:28):
you're one or the other, you'rethe Madonna Madonna or the hall
or the mother or the whore, youcan't possibly be both. And it's
just another one of thoselimiting sort of paradigms that
we play into in this world inthis society, and that we've had
thrust upon us. And so a lot ofthe time we have these
conditions, this deepconditioning that we are not
(45:52):
aware of. And that's why youknow, people listening to these
podcasts who are learning more,who've listened to your past
episode will understand, oh,fuck, maybe I've had some of
this conditioning, and I need toquestion it, I need to stop
peeling it away. Because it'snot helpful. Because it's
holding me back from, like,having as much pleasure as
possible. It's also holding meback from seeing that this
(46:13):
person that I'm dating is anamazing person and a fucking
incredible lover. And they canbe both. And maybe, you know,
the mother of my children isalso like, dirty little whore.
Exactly. And how good you don'thave to be one or the other. And
one doesn't take away from theother. Yes, so that's, I mean,
(46:35):
just gonna leave that there.
And I think as a woman, it'slike, actually, I think often
women are waiting for that tofeel comfortable, but actually,
it's feels fucking edgy, to belike, oh, what does it feel like
to really own my slot? Yes, andto just go wild while I'm giving
him a blowjob. Like, that's,that is gonna feel edgy at
(46:57):
first. I'm such an advocate forleaning into like, the awkward
and knowing that you have tokind of feel awkward and
uncomfortable in order to accessnew parts of ourselves are
awaken these parts of ourselvesthat we haven't really let
ourselves or we've beenconditioned to contort and
dilute and I think that's a bigpart of about being a woman or
being someone that enjoys sexenjoys sucking a cock, it's
(47:22):
like, got to really giveyourself permission to be that
woman, youabsolutely do have to give
yourself permission. And I alsohear, I think, you know, people
listening to this episode, ifyou're, you're listening to
this, and you're like, Yeah, butsome men that I've been with are
super judgy. And they, theyimmediately think that I'm a
sloth or they will, in slightlyin a bad way, you know, they had
(47:45):
these judgments around me beingsexually liberated. I want you
to know that that is not a man.
That is a scared little boy whodoesn't understand and
appreciate the full spectrum ofwomen and stop dating those back
(48:07):
and losers. To put it reallybluntly, like if, if if the man
that you're dating is threatenedby your sexual expression, he's
got some work to do, if he'swilling to do it brilliant. But
if he is so so heavilyconditioned that women are meant
(48:28):
to be a certain way and if youare outside of that sort of
sexually sort of limited boxthat they they want and except
then he's not for you.
A fucking man. Yeah, I thinkthat's a great place to end.
Stop dating losers. givegreat blow jobs but only to the
(48:49):
ones that really does.
Okay, anything else you want toadd before you share with the
people how to find you?
I feel like we really justwrapped that up so nice. Yeah,
okay. Tell for all the peoplethat want to go in by BJ queen
or pussy Pro. Where do they findher? Where did they find you?
(49:09):
So you can find me on Instagramat Eleanor Hadley? My website is
Elena hadley.com And you canfind all of the information how
to work with me or learn how tobecome a BJ queen.
Thank you so much for beinghere. This is so much fun, so
much fun. And have fun everyonewith your new skills. So much to
practice from these last twoepisodes. I'm Eleanor with all
(49:30):
your testimonials and results. Ineed to know I need to know how
it all goes. The magic sequencethe magic secret the magic. I'm
excited to practical magicsecret. Please give me a review.
I'd love to know definitely letus see you next week.
Yo yo yo, thank you so much fortuning in to another episode of
(49:51):
sex, love and everything inbetween. Now if you'd like to
stay connected with Megan i Youcan head on over to Instagram
and follow me At the JacobO'Neill and where can people
find you loverat the dot mag dot o
amazing and yeah guys check outthe show notes for all the
information in regards to whatwe've got coming up. And yeah,
(50:14):
we're super super grateful thatyou guys for taking the time to
listen to this podcast if you dohave any topics or any questions
like I said hit us up onInstagram and we'll see what we
can do. Apart from that have abeautiful beautiful rest of your
day. Thanks for being here. BigBig Love
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