June 16, 2025 • 36 mins
Have you ever been told you're "too sensitive"? "Too emotional"? "Too intense"?
Let me tell you something, sis: You are not too much. You’re simply not in a space—or around people—who know how to hold the depth of you.
In this episode of Shift Happens with Shay, we’re dismantling the internalized shame that so many women carry for being expressive, emotional, and emotionally deep. We’ll explore where this messaging comes from, how it affects our relationships and self-worth, and how to reclaim your fullness without shrinking to fit.
✨ In this episode, we’ll explore:
🔹 Why you were conditioned to believe you’re "too much"
🔹 How emotional suppression shows up as self-abandonment
🔹 Ways to reframe your sensitivity as a strength
🔹 Affirmations and reflection prompts to help you come back home to yourself
This one is for every woman who’s ever dimmed her light, silenced her tears, or felt like she had to be "less" to be loved. You’re not too much. You’re more than enough.
🎧 Tune in now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.
#YouAreNotTooMuch #EmotionalHealing #HighlySensitiveWomen #RadicalSelfLove #ShiftHappensPodcast #HealingJourney #WomensMentalHealth #SoftnessIsStrength
Continue the conversation with Shay on her Instagram, Facebook page, website, and linkedIn! You can also email Shay at shifthappenswithshay@gmail.com if you are looking for insight about your life, send your stories, or request topics you would like to address.
Please note this podcast is not a substitution for therapy, if you require assistance with exploring trauma, deeper relationship issues, or more please reach out to establish care.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey there, and welcome to ShiftHappens with Shay.
I'm Shay, your host and licensedmarriage and family therapist.
This podcast is where we diveinto all the shift life throws
our way, whether it'srelationships, mental health,
personal growth, or justfiguring out this crazy journey
of adulting here.
We're all about honestconversation, real stories, and
a whole lot of laughs as wetackles life's challenges
(00:22):
together.
This is your space to grow,explore, and feel seen.
So grab a cozy spot, maybe a cupof coffee or wine, and let's get
ready to shift through it all.
Thanks for tuning in, andremember, no matter what life
brings us, we're in thistogether.
Hi beautiful people.
I have missed you guys so much.
It has been a hot minute sinceyou've heard my voice had me
(00:45):
blasting in your car unless youwere new and you went back a
couple of episodes.
I mean, last we left off, wewere at episode 11 and we're at
12.
Can you believe that?
So yes, definitely.
I got sick.
Someone took me out for thecount.
So I wasn't even able to do thepodcast as planned, and then I
(01:06):
was gonna do it during the weekof my birthday, but I still felt
icky.
And that's a okay, becausethat's what we learn about here
at Shift happens with Shay.
We learn to shift our mindsetand shift, you know, how we're
combating these situations.
So we shifted from shamingmindset to a compassionate one.
(01:29):
And my love.
Today's episode is all aboutcompassion because a message
from my heart to yours is thatyou are not too much.
How often as we as women haveheard that.
We are doing the most.
We're overly sensitive, we'redramatic, we're super emotional.
(01:54):
We don't think what our heads,we only think about from our
hearts, like we're not wise,just that everything is a
theatrics for us and then peopledon't wanna take us seriously or
you know, patriarchy.
Right?
So this topic is super importantbecause we're never too much.
You were never too much, and youwere never too intense.
(02:16):
You were never too emotional.
You were never too loud.
You were never too, too brightfor people who are like that.
They are just afraid of yourlight and want you to dim
yourself to make themcomfortable.
I realized, especially while Iwas in college,'cause high
(02:36):
school was really prettynonchalant.
I mean, you care about people'sopinions a bit, but not all the
time.
In college is when it hit me themost.
When I started being around, Iwould say actually when I joined
my sorority, it just felt like Iwas so different.
I.
It, it almost felt like Icouldn't connect with a lot of
(02:59):
my older sisters.
It was definitely a lot of pushand pull, head butting, per se,
and just a lot of rejection.
And at that time when I didcross and crossing, for those of
you who we call civilians whohave never applied to a
sorority, never, joined one.
That just means the year I wasinitiated when I became a sister
(03:21):
this semester, um, which is fall13 woo woo if you're fall 13.
Hey, um, also the year,literally the summer after my
sexual assault.
So I was already heavy in myheart, heavy in my mind, already
feeling a bit broken out ofplace, just not feeling the
(03:43):
best.
Also, the same year I had tocome to terms that I wasn't
gonna go to med school because Iwas struggling anyways.
Even in that one, my ex had theaudacity to tell me that I was
too ambitious and that maybe Ishould give up on my dreams of
being a doctor.
Crazy, right?
So.
So many people will say thatyou're too emotional, you're too
(04:06):
intense and I definitely haveheard the too intense part I
have definitely heard that I'mintimidating.
I've heard that in theworkforce.
When I was a supervisor my bossactually sat me down and told me
that I was intimidating.
And that was interesting to hearas nobody had ever told me that.
(04:32):
Of course, yes, she was aCaucasian woman and I am a
intelligent black woman, and I'mvery outspoken, especially as
I've done my healing journey toknow who I am.
So that was interesting to justsit there and hear somebody tell
me that for the first time, thatI'm too intimidating.
(04:54):
And even with my sororitysisters, like I said, it faced
like a lot of rejection.
It was just that, oh, toouppity, or you always isolating,
you guys think you're too goodfor us.
It was interesting.
It was not exactly what Ithought sisterhood would be like
in the beginning and I stillhave my bittersweet moments when
it comes to my sorority.
(05:15):
I love some beautiful people inthat organization.
I've met so many wonderful andbeautiful souls, but it
definitely did tarnish my hearta lot.
I have a lot of wounds and a lotof scars, and I'm going on, woo,
how many years?
12 years in November.
Crazy.
But I just wanna say to you thatno matter what anybody says.
(05:39):
Or what they threw at you.
You were never too much.
You were never too anything.
You were just being you.
You were just shining.
And those people were not meantto be in your light.
They were not meant to just soakin it and just, honestly, you
weren't meant to be accessibleto them at that time.
(05:59):
But sometimes we aren't aware ofour light and that happens for
us.
So I just wanna just set that,you know, the stage.
So let's start with a beautifulintention for our session today.
This episode is for the womanwho feels deeply and loves
(06:20):
fully, but has been made to feellike she needs to shrink to be
accepted.
My love.
We're gonna start a course withour reflection.
Prompt too, and I'm going to putthis on IG'cause I do wanna know
when was the first time you weretold you were too much?
(06:45):
How did you carry that EYGooeyness already?
So let's get into it.
Sometimes the too much wound, wejust think about where does it
come from.
And I mentioned a bit of it,socialization of women, like we
are meant to be quiet,digestible.
Mm-hmm.
(07:05):
Emotionally neat.
We're meant to be wrapped up ina package.
We're not meant to be out here.
I'm not gonna say it loud, maybeit is loud.
We're not out.
They don't want us to beoutspoken.
They don't want to hear theintellect that comes from our
heart and our mind and stuff,which.
According to dialecticalBehavior therapy, that is called
(07:27):
Wise Mind.
So you can check anybody thattells you you're being too
emotional.
You need your emotions, and youneed your logic to be wise.
That's not the point.
Society tells us that you'remeant to be quiet.
Don't be too loud, don't be tooexpressive.
Don't be too animated.
Don't be too sassy.
Don't be arguable.
(07:47):
Don't be combative.
Don't be dramatic.
And I mentioned that before too,especially for us as women of
color, the pressure to be strongbut not emotional, it is heavy.
Everybody wants you to be thepillar, the friend to lean on
(08:08):
because society has to.
Absurd thinking that we aren'tsoft, that we don't know what
softness is.
And unfortunately people havetaken that from us for
generations through, like Imentioned, our ancestors and
what's not whatnot.
So yeah, they just think that wedon't know what being soft is or
that we're not meant to besolved.
(08:29):
And that's why you have issueseven within the medical society
when it comes to black womenbeing taken advantage over.
Smith that we don't feel or thatwe have a higher pain tolerance.
If anything, we've been forcedto be resilient.
And I mentioned it before, Ibelieve in the narrating like
reauthoring your voice andreclaiming your time.
(08:50):
That session, throw down thecake, fuck all of that.
But yeah, they want us to takethe pressure, but.
Don't complain them if it's toomuch or that you need help.
You're meant to be strong, notemotional, and they want us to
be present.
But not dramatic, quote unquote.
(09:12):
What does that even mean?
Yeah, they just want you thereto look pretty, sit there, look
cute, and hey, I met my DEIquote, Hey, but don't start
acting up or throwing fitsbecause you disagree with
something.
If you disagree with something,oh, you are dramatic.
You're doing too much.
You're being argumentative.
(09:33):
You're being intimidating.
Even in childhood, we can havethese wounds.
Even before you get into theworld.
Maybe you've heard thisunfortunately from your family,
the message of don't cry, calmdown.
Don't be so sensitive.
You cry too much.
You're cry, baby.
You're such a little, oh mygosh.
(09:55):
That's all you do.
Toughen up.
Enough's enough.
Wipe those tears.
I don't want to hear it.
Get out of my face before I giveyou something to cry about.
Oh, you guys have definitelyheard that one, right?
Yeah.
Stop crying, or I give yousomething to cry about.
(10:17):
Mm-hmm.
So then you're taught then thatemotions are too much.
You're talking are not a goodthing.
And then this leads to us beingemotionally suppressed.
Because we've been dropped somany times when we were trying
to be vulnerable and tell peopleI need you, or express your
(10:38):
curiosity or whatnot that youwanted to express, like your
joy, your happiness, yoursadness, and then we're told
that you're doing too much.
Tone it down.
Keep it to yourself.
Be quiet.
And that also leads to selfabandonment.
We start to leave ourselves, westart to leave attunement and we
(10:59):
become disc conducted.
Now we don't feel comfortablewith.
I love you.
We don't feel comfortable withhugs.
We don't feel comfortableexpressing how we feel inside.
If something makes youuncomfortable, if something just
even sparks joy now, you don'tfeel that it's important enough.
To bring up, and then this canlead to you also dimming your
(11:23):
light and your friendshipcircles, your relationship and
your workplace.
You start to hold your tongueand hold back.
Despite that you're sopassionate about something,
whatever the topic may be, youhold back because then you start
doubting yourself and say that,oh, that.
Stupid.
Nobody will listen to me.
That's dumb.
No, don't feel high.
(11:46):
That swallow it.
And then with relationships,again, holding your tongue, and
then you end up in anunsatisfied relationship because
you're told if you expressyourself, you're being stubborn.
You're too much.
Can you not do the most?
I'm doing my best here.
Why are you requiring more ofme?
(12:06):
I'm with you, aren't I prettycondescending?
And of course in the workplace,like I've mentioned, you're too
much.
You're too intimidating.
You're too assertive is reallywhat it is, but they'll say
aggressive instead.
They like to mince the worlditself, but we don't know what
it is.
We're actually really assertivewhen you're not used to people
(12:28):
being con confident, and sothey'll do anything to come and
snuff you out because if you'renot suppressed, you're going to
overturn the system and theydon't like it.
And I wanted to include thisquote for you.
You were never too much.
(12:50):
You were just too real forpeople who weren't ready for the
truth of you.
And man, that's a word, isn'tit?
You were never too much.
You were just too real forpeople who weren't ready for the
truth of you.
And honestly, not everybody ismeant to hold your truth.
(13:11):
Not everybody's meant to bask inyour truth.
Not everybody is meant towitness because you don't have
to explain your truth to nobody.
It is what it is.
Don't waste your time proving itto nobody.
We're not abandoning ourselvesno more.
We're not shrinking anymore.
(13:32):
But Shay, if this is what'sliving within me when shrinking
shows up, like how will I know?
You'll know when shrinking showsup in your life because you're
avoiding conflict to be liked.
Yeah.
When you're just acceptinganybody's idea, despite that, it
makes you uncomfortable.
(13:54):
You feel that pitting yourself.
Stomach.
It makes you anxious.
You feel depressed.
Yeah, probably maybe even end uphitting yourself a little bit
more every time, just becauseyou don't wanna say no because
you wanna be agreeable.
That goes back to the society.
We're supposed to be digestible.
And that means we should beagreeing, we should be, yes.
(14:16):
People don't have a thought.
I'll do the thinking.
You just sit there and lookpretty, dimming accomplishments
that feel.
Relatable because now we'retaught, oh, you're being
arrogant.
That's you're being a narcissistjust for being proud and about
(14:38):
your accomplishments, but nowyou're dimming it like, oh, oh
yeah.
I mean like, yeah, that'snothing.
I, I definitely, I hear youlike, yeah, it's just a little
master's degree, you know?
I got my little master's and itwent about my day.
Absolutely not.
But that's how it shows up whenyou just start diminishing
(14:59):
things that are actually reallyimportant milestones in your
life.
Or if you're overexplaining andapologizing or apologizing for
your emotions.
I'm sorry that I cried in frontof you.
I'm, I'm, I'm sorry that I am,I'm feeling discombobulated.
I'm sorry.
I was anxious.
I'm sorry.
I'm feeling, or that, oh, youknow, I'm really anxious because
you know this will happen, andthen that don't happen.
(15:21):
Then this will happen, and thenthen you know, like, you know,
it's not really you.
It's really just I slow down.
I see that one a lot in mysessions with women so often,
even some of my men.
But since I see a lot of women,I see that so often, always
(15:42):
apologizing to me in session.
For crying, for gettingemotional A, about situations
that rightfully are emotional.
They're emotional.
If you're telling me about atraumatic experience.
Yeah.
If you're recalling the detailsof how it hurt your heart and
how you felt unsafe, and howyour life was turned upside
(16:04):
down.
Yeah.
That deserves some tears andmaybe some anger or frustration
or some hopelessness or whateveryou're feeling in the moment
that deserves all of it.
It's so valid, and yet everytime, no matter how many times
I've been say in session, it'sokay girl.
No need to apologize.
(16:26):
Your emotions are fine.
They're meant to be here.
This is a safe space for them.
They'll still kind of do it.
It'll lessen over time, but soused to having to apologize just
for feeling because that's toomuch.
And as I mentioned earlier,another sign silencing your joy,
(16:48):
excitement, or grief to bechill, quote unquote,
nonchalant.
One of the boys don't do toomuch.
You just neglecting the stuffthat makes your heart light up
just to be accepted so that youdon't look like someone that's
(17:11):
too emotional.
Because if you're too emotional,that means you can't handle the
tasks that are coming to you oryou're not reliable, liable.
And then another, it'sattracting relationships.
Where emotional depth isdismissed or feared.
Those are your very surfacelevel relationships.
(17:33):
When your partner, when you'retrying to be vulnerable and that
creates intimacy and you'retrying to dig a bit and
understand what's going on forboth you and your partner.
And when you're just asking forsome clarification or wanting to
understand or even expressinghow something made you feel, and
(17:56):
then it's turned back on you, orit's that, that's not important.
It's not a big deal.
It's a big deal to you, but it'snot a big deal to me.
I think you're making a big dealout of nothing.
You're making a molehill out ofan anthill like you are just,
you're really doing too muchright now and you need to slow
(18:17):
it down.
You need to think about it.
Yeah.
Or if it's fear, which istypically what it is too in
those relationships, is thatyour partner is not used to.
Vulnerability themselves.
So they're afraid of fallingdown in that deep because we all
have negative views of ourself.
(18:37):
The internal messages happen.
So it happens.
Yeah.
Unfortunately we all have'em,but yeah, you're, it's either
dismissed or it's feared becausenow if you have emotions and you
start calling out people andholding them accountable, ah,
ah, they don't like that.
And that's when you get thespeech.
Yo, you're doing the most.
(18:58):
I gotta leave right now.
When you get it together.
I come back when you startacting right.
I'll get back.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry if you've actuallyever experienced that.
I, so sorry.
I want affirmation for you, andwe're gonna just take a deep
(19:20):
breath in down.
And your affirmation is I nolonger apologize for the way my
soul was designed to express.
I no longer apologize for theway my soul was designed to
(19:44):
express.
You really have nothing toapologize for.
You're being who you're meant tobe.
In tune with yourself yourmeant.
To listen to your heart, you aremeant to die deep and build
insight and understand whatmakes you tick, what makes you
smile, what makes you cry, whatmakes you fearful, what makes
(20:06):
you sad, which makes you angry,all whatnot.
You are meant to know all ofthese emotions.
Your sensitivity is not a flaw.
It is a superpower.
Emotional depth equals empathy,intuition, connection, and
creativity.
(20:28):
Yes.
Without your emotions, how doyou become empathetic if you
don't understand them?
How do you build discernment ifyou are not attuned to yourself?
How do you build connection withothers if you don't share a
laugh?
A smile or just these emotionalexperiences with people.
(20:48):
How do you even tap intocreativity when that is based on
your emotions as well?
Take that with you.
That's your superpower.
Be emotional.
We're meant to be emotional.
Being expressive means you haveaccess to your inner world, and
(21:10):
that is a beautiful healing.
Having that connection after solong of being disconnected'cause
others told you that's wrong todo, no clue they were wrong,
they were ripping you and takingaway your birthright to be
expressive.
Get access to your sub.
(21:30):
Have access to that beautifulworld you have within a view,
within a view within you,because that's healing,
normalized, crying, and I getit.
I don't like it either.
The headaches, the snoggingnose, the red eye, that's not
the cutest thing.
And I'm not the cutest crier.
I don't like it.
But when it happens, it happens.
It is a natural physicalresponse from your body to
(21:52):
release even your body.
Knows.
Even when you're not attuned,sometimes that crying your body
knows that, oh, I gotta let thatgo.
That's not meant to stay withinme.
So it releases'cause that'sstressful to hold onto.
So normalize, crying, normalizespeaking up, advocate for
(22:15):
yourself because if you don't,who will?
Sometimes we might have thosebeautiful friendships, those
people by our side that.
Uplift us and encourage us andstep in front of us and protect
us sometimes.
But when that person's not therebecause you're dealing with
their own things, you gotta beyour biggest supporter.
(22:36):
You gotta speak up for you.
Ask questions.
You are not stupid.
You are not being dramatic.
You are not being combative.
You are being inquisitive, andthat's a beautiful thing.
It's needed to be a wise personand normalize feeling fully, yet
(23:01):
feel all those emotions.
Deeply.
Try not to shy away from youremotions.
Try not to shame them and tell'em they're wrong, and I mean, I
get it sometimes.
Appropriate place and time.
But when you do have the safespace, whether that's just a
moment to yourself, whateverthat feeling that's popping up
for you, allow it to come Feelit fully.
(23:24):
Where is it?
Is it in your chest?
Is it in the fit of yourstomach?
Is it in your hands?
Are you clenching in your jaw?
Do you taste D?
Does things just tastesdifferently?
I don't just feel fully knowwhat this emotion does to you.
And know the difference betweenemotional immaturity and
(23:47):
emotional richness.
Immaturity is rooted ininsecurity.
Again, that's you not beingattuned to yourself.
When we are emotionallyimmature, we just take
everything as an attack and it'sa tip for tat.
That's when the passiveaggressive communication comes
(24:08):
and aggressive too as well,because we're not addressing the
negative view of self.
That's what's in us.
We're not addressing that ugly,we're not addressing that.
That shadow side, and because wesee it as a flaw.
So you try to project yourinsecurities on others.
(24:28):
Oh, we're not doing that.
We're emotionally rich here.
We're not emotionally barren.
We are gonna be all up in ourfeelings.
All the ones that make you shunand kind of shake or cringe,
it's okay.
We're taking those in toobecause we're rich here.
We feel all it pours into us andthen we release it.
(24:48):
It is a wave.
It comes in when it needs to andit leaves the shore when it
needs to.
It's okay.
We are in control of ouremotions.
When they come, you feel them.
Sometimes some emotions hurt.
That's our emotion itself hurt,and we don't wanna feel hurt.
No one does.
(25:08):
I know that's when we tend torun away a lot from humiliation
to in violation.
Bitterness.
Resentment, try to run from itbecause you wanna be positive,
but how can you be a positivelight if you don't?
Acknowledge those parts of you.
They're part of you too.
You feel those way for a reasonbecause there is a threat.
(25:28):
Address the threat.
Be emotionally rich.
Feel it.
Is your superpower, like whatour next hump, what parts of
myself have I tried to tone downto be accepted?
(25:51):
What happens if I just.
Stopped.
What would happen if you juststopped pleasing others and
started to please yourself?
What would happen if you toneddown being accepted from others?
And tuned up, being accepted toyourself.
(26:16):
My emotional death is a portalto wisdom, intimacy, and truth.
Let that sink for you myemotional death.
It's a portal to wisdom,intimacy, and truth.
(26:36):
You are meant to reclaim yourfullness that all that emotional
richness without shame, and someof these tools we.
Practiced and talked aboutbefore.
Use I statements.
I feel statementsunapologetically.
People can feel how they wannafeel and they get to say it, and
(26:58):
so do you.
You have a right to beexpressive.
You have a right to say what'sbothering you.
You have a right to say what youenjoy.
You have a right to providefeedback.
I feel insert whatever you arefeeling.
And we're not, shame ourselvesfor it.
Ask for emotional safety in yourrelationships.
(27:22):
Ask for that space to just befor no judgment, to just release
and when you're ready forfeedback and.
You can ask from that for your,from your relationships.
It's okay to ask.
I mentioned in previoussessions, I asked my friends if
they have space for me, ifthey're too busy, if they're
(27:43):
with something, I have somethingon my heart, and if it's too
much, well, right now they ain'tgot the space and I have to
accept that.
But it's okay for you to ask foremotional safety.
There's nothing to be shamefulabout that.
There's no shaming or guiltabout it.
You hold space for other people.
Let them hold it for you too.
(28:05):
Let yourself be loud or quiet.
Big or soft or raw.
Let yourself be a spectrum,rainbow.
Let yourself be a rainbow.
You can feel however you wantand you can express yourself.
You have that pal.
(28:27):
Choose environments thatcelebrate your fullness, not
just tolerate.
'cause there is a difference.
People who don't feel thathappiness or excitement or any
type of celebratory for yourcompliment accomplishments, you
as a person, release thosepeople.
I'll release them by at leaststart distancing yourself very
(28:49):
slowly because those are thepeople that tolerate you until
you mess up.
And then they got.
Things to talk about.
Have an environment where it'sgo, girl, you got this.
You're doing it.
That's a beautifulaccomplishment.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm so happy for you.
Oh, you deserve the best.
Those friendships, thoseenvironments, cultivate those.
(29:14):
Choose those.
Choose to not be shamed.
Choose to escape the shame.
You already honestly are yourworst enemy.
You don't need others to do itfor you.
Choose environments thatcelebrate you and let your body
express too, that's what it'smeant to do.
(29:36):
Whether that's through tears,laughter, movement, or even
stillness.
Allow your.
Self give permission for thebody to express so it can
understand this is normal, thisis healthy, this is what is
needed.
(29:56):
I am not meant to carry all thiswithin.
Let it go, let it go, let itshine.
I do not need to shrink in orderto be loved.
I expand and still belong.
You do not need this shrink inorder to be loved.
(30:20):
You expand and you still belong.
Mm, I love this for you guys.
So though my birthday haspassed, I still leave this with
you guys.
A birthday blessing per se frommy heart as I enter chapter 34
and I am on my path to embodyingmy true self, my gift to myself
(30:47):
this year and to you is allowingsoftness and fire to code
exists.
I hope you give yourself thesame gift, the freedom to be all
of who you are.
My best friend, one of my bestfriends, she has always told me
(31:08):
I am a woman on fire, and firesare so beautiful.
They're so strong and yet sovulnerable.
At the same time, you have tobreathe life into them in order
for them to take shape andreally grow and expand.
(31:30):
So when you don't breathe lifeinto you and you stop the oxygen
by being deme and quiet andagreeable, digestible, you are
suffocating your fire.
You're not.
You don't have to do that.
(31:50):
You don't have to do that.
But let your fire coexist withyour softness.
Set the world of blades andlight the way some things need
to be destroyed.
Order.
For new things to grow is eventhe order of nature at times.
(32:11):
So I hope you give yourself thefreedom to be all of who you
are.
And I'll put this journalprompt.
Of course, this is for after atthe.
So for you to think about, writedown if you like, or maybe just
talk out loud and discuss withyour own besties, what would it
(32:32):
look like to live like?
I am already worthy of taking upspace.
Hmm.
What would it look like to livelike?
I am already worthy of taking upspace because boo, you truly
are.
(32:53):
You are so worthy of it.
You're so worthy of joy andhappiness.
You are worthy of being you andexpressive and animated and
goofy and silly.
You are so worthy of all of thatand more.
Now, really think about whatwould it be like if you already
(33:17):
felt that you were both withtaking the space?
Imagine that.
And run towards that version ofyou.
Little steps to bringing her toreality to your life.
Hmm.
So I'm gonna put those promptson Instagram because that's
(33:39):
where I put'em, and I encourageyou to tag or DM me with what
being too much used to mean toyou.
And how you are redefining it.
Now, I would love to hear fromyou guys, so when I put them up
here, I would love for you guysto tag it in your stories, put
(34:02):
in the comments.
I would love for you guys toeven DM it to me if you feel shy
and that's okay.
'cause we're learning here.
It's not, it's gonna bedifficult.
You can't just change years ofprogramming from negativity to
this new found free, liberatedversion of yourself.
It takes some time and becompassionate with yourself.
(34:25):
It's a journey.
So definitely let me know howwe're redefining being too much.
'cause for me, I don't see it asbeing too much.
I see it as I'm bright and maybeyou just.
Too.
Damn.
Maybe you too dark.
Maybe you wish you could be thismuch.
(34:47):
I'm being, I'm meant to be you.
I'm being touche, and I'm goingto keep being touche.
So whether you're celebratingyour own softness or still
learning how to let it in,remember.
Your bigness, your tears, yourtenderness, your joy.
(35:10):
It's not too much.
It's magic girl and it's yours.
You are not too much.
You are exactly enough, and yougive yourself permission to take
up space.
And if you wanna turn it to anaffirmation, I am not too much.
(35:35):
I am exactly enough and I givemyself permission to take up
space.
I write my loves.
I adore you.
Follow me on Instagram at ShiftHappens with Shay.
You can also email me at ShiftHappens with shay@gmail.com.
(35:56):
I'm also on LinkedIn.
Follow me there, YouTube.
I'm putting out some guidedmeditations or some dear self
affirmations for you to recitewhen you're feeling you need a
little more touch or some TLCwith your inner child.
I love you guys.
Have a beautiful week andwoo-hoo Juneteenth.
(36:20):
Be loud.
Be proud.
My loves.
Love you guys.
Bye.
No.
Hey there, and welcome to ShiftHappens with Shay.
I'm Shay, your host and licensedmarriage and family therapist.
This podcast is where we diveinto all the shift life throws
our way, whether it'srelationships, mental health,
personal growth, or justfiguring out this crazy journey
of adulting here.
We're all about honestconversation, real stories, and
a whole lot of laughs as wetackles life's challenges
(00:22):
together.
This is your space to grow,explore, and feel seen.
So grab a cozy spot, maybe a cupof coffee or wine, and let's get
ready to shift through it all.
Thanks for tuning in, andremember, no matter what life
brings us, we're in thistogether.
Hi beautiful people.
I have missed you guys so much.
It has been a hot minute sinceyou've heard my voice had me
(00:45):
blasting in your car unless youwere new and you went back a
couple of episodes.
I mean, last we left off, wewere at episode 11 and we're at
12.
Can you believe that?
So yes, definitely.
I got sick.
Someone took me out for thecount.
So I wasn't even able to do thepodcast as planned, and then I
(01:06):
was gonna do it during the weekof my birthday, but I still felt
icky.
And that's a okay, becausethat's what we learn about here
at Shift happens with Shay.
We learn to shift our mindsetand shift, you know, how we're
combating these situations.
So we shifted from shamingmindset to a compassionate one.
(01:29):
And my love.
Today's episode is all aboutcompassion because a message
from my heart to yours is thatyou are not too much.
How often as we as women haveheard that.
We are doing the most.
We're overly sensitive, we'redramatic, we're super emotional.
(01:54):
We don't think what our heads,we only think about from our
hearts, like we're not wise,just that everything is a
theatrics for us and then peopledon't wanna take us seriously or
you know, patriarchy.
Right?
So this topic is super importantbecause we're never too much.
You were never too much, and youwere never too intense.
(02:16):
You were never too emotional.
You were never too loud.
You were never too, too brightfor people who are like that.
They are just afraid of yourlight and want you to dim
yourself to make themcomfortable.
I realized, especially while Iwas in college,'cause high
(02:36):
school was really prettynonchalant.
I mean, you care about people'sopinions a bit, but not all the
time.
In college is when it hit me themost.
When I started being around, Iwould say actually when I joined
my sorority, it just felt like Iwas so different.
I.
It, it almost felt like Icouldn't connect with a lot of
(02:59):
my older sisters.
It was definitely a lot of pushand pull, head butting, per se,
and just a lot of rejection.
And at that time when I didcross and crossing, for those of
you who we call civilians whohave never applied to a
sorority, never, joined one.
That just means the year I wasinitiated when I became a sister
(03:21):
this semester, um, which is fall13 woo woo if you're fall 13.
Hey, um, also the year,literally the summer after my
sexual assault.
So I was already heavy in myheart, heavy in my mind, already
feeling a bit broken out ofplace, just not feeling the
(03:43):
best.
Also, the same year I had tocome to terms that I wasn't
gonna go to med school because Iwas struggling anyways.
Even in that one, my ex had theaudacity to tell me that I was
too ambitious and that maybe Ishould give up on my dreams of
being a doctor.
Crazy, right?
So.
So many people will say thatyou're too emotional, you're too
(04:06):
intense and I definitely haveheard the too intense part I
have definitely heard that I'mintimidating.
I've heard that in theworkforce.
When I was a supervisor my bossactually sat me down and told me
that I was intimidating.
And that was interesting to hearas nobody had ever told me that.
(04:32):
Of course, yes, she was aCaucasian woman and I am a
intelligent black woman, and I'mvery outspoken, especially as
I've done my healing journey toknow who I am.
So that was interesting to justsit there and hear somebody tell
me that for the first time, thatI'm too intimidating.
(04:54):
And even with my sororitysisters, like I said, it faced
like a lot of rejection.
It was just that, oh, toouppity, or you always isolating,
you guys think you're too goodfor us.
It was interesting.
It was not exactly what Ithought sisterhood would be like
in the beginning and I stillhave my bittersweet moments when
it comes to my sorority.
(05:15):
I love some beautiful people inthat organization.
I've met so many wonderful andbeautiful souls, but it
definitely did tarnish my hearta lot.
I have a lot of wounds and a lotof scars, and I'm going on, woo,
how many years?
12 years in November.
Crazy.
But I just wanna say to you thatno matter what anybody says.
(05:39):
Or what they threw at you.
You were never too much.
You were never too anything.
You were just being you.
You were just shining.
And those people were not meantto be in your light.
They were not meant to just soakin it and just, honestly, you
weren't meant to be accessibleto them at that time.
(05:59):
But sometimes we aren't aware ofour light and that happens for
us.
So I just wanna just set that,you know, the stage.
So let's start with a beautifulintention for our session today.
This episode is for the womanwho feels deeply and loves
(06:20):
fully, but has been made to feellike she needs to shrink to be
accepted.
My love.
We're gonna start a course withour reflection.
Prompt too, and I'm going to putthis on IG'cause I do wanna know
when was the first time you weretold you were too much?
(06:45):
How did you carry that EYGooeyness already?
So let's get into it.
Sometimes the too much wound, wejust think about where does it
come from.
And I mentioned a bit of it,socialization of women, like we
are meant to be quiet,digestible.
Mm-hmm.
(07:05):
Emotionally neat.
We're meant to be wrapped up ina package.
We're not meant to be out here.
I'm not gonna say it loud, maybeit is loud.
We're not out.
They don't want us to beoutspoken.
They don't want to hear theintellect that comes from our
heart and our mind and stuff,which.
According to dialecticalBehavior therapy, that is called
(07:27):
Wise Mind.
So you can check anybody thattells you you're being too
emotional.
You need your emotions, and youneed your logic to be wise.
That's not the point.
Society tells us that you'remeant to be quiet.
Don't be too loud, don't be tooexpressive.
Don't be too animated.
Don't be too sassy.
Don't be arguable.
(07:47):
Don't be combative.
Don't be dramatic.
And I mentioned that before too,especially for us as women of
color, the pressure to be strongbut not emotional, it is heavy.
Everybody wants you to be thepillar, the friend to lean on
(08:08):
because society has to.
Absurd thinking that we aren'tsoft, that we don't know what
softness is.
And unfortunately people havetaken that from us for
generations through, like Imentioned, our ancestors and
what's not whatnot.
So yeah, they just think that wedon't know what being soft is or
that we're not meant to besolved.
(08:29):
And that's why you have issueseven within the medical society
when it comes to black womenbeing taken advantage over.
Smith that we don't feel or thatwe have a higher pain tolerance.
If anything, we've been forcedto be resilient.
And I mentioned it before, Ibelieve in the narrating like
reauthoring your voice andreclaiming your time.
(08:50):
That session, throw down thecake, fuck all of that.
But yeah, they want us to takethe pressure, but.
Don't complain them if it's toomuch or that you need help.
You're meant to be strong, notemotional, and they want us to
be present.
But not dramatic, quote unquote.
(09:12):
What does that even mean?
Yeah, they just want you thereto look pretty, sit there, look
cute, and hey, I met my DEIquote, Hey, but don't start
acting up or throwing fitsbecause you disagree with
something.
If you disagree with something,oh, you are dramatic.
You're doing too much.
You're being argumentative.
(09:33):
You're being intimidating.
Even in childhood, we can havethese wounds.
Even before you get into theworld.
Maybe you've heard thisunfortunately from your family,
the message of don't cry, calmdown.
Don't be so sensitive.
You cry too much.
You're cry, baby.
You're such a little, oh mygosh.
(09:55):
That's all you do.
Toughen up.
Enough's enough.
Wipe those tears.
I don't want to hear it.
Get out of my face before I giveyou something to cry about.
Oh, you guys have definitelyheard that one, right?
Yeah.
Stop crying, or I give yousomething to cry about.
(10:17):
Mm-hmm.
So then you're taught then thatemotions are too much.
You're talking are not a goodthing.
And then this leads to us beingemotionally suppressed.
Because we've been dropped somany times when we were trying
to be vulnerable and tell peopleI need you, or express your
(10:38):
curiosity or whatnot that youwanted to express, like your
joy, your happiness, yoursadness, and then we're told
that you're doing too much.
Tone it down.
Keep it to yourself.
Be quiet.
And that also leads to selfabandonment.
We start to leave ourselves, westart to leave attunement and we
(10:59):
become disc conducted.
Now we don't feel comfortablewith.
I love you.
We don't feel comfortable withhugs.
We don't feel comfortableexpressing how we feel inside.
If something makes youuncomfortable, if something just
even sparks joy now, you don'tfeel that it's important enough.
To bring up, and then this canlead to you also dimming your
(11:23):
light and your friendshipcircles, your relationship and
your workplace.
You start to hold your tongueand hold back.
Despite that you're sopassionate about something,
whatever the topic may be, youhold back because then you start
doubting yourself and say that,oh, that.
Stupid.
Nobody will listen to me.
That's dumb.
No, don't feel high.
(11:46):
That swallow it.
And then with relationships,again, holding your tongue, and
then you end up in anunsatisfied relationship because
you're told if you expressyourself, you're being stubborn.
You're too much.
Can you not do the most?
I'm doing my best here.
Why are you requiring more ofme?
(12:06):
I'm with you, aren't I prettycondescending?
And of course in the workplace,like I've mentioned, you're too
much.
You're too intimidating.
You're too assertive is reallywhat it is, but they'll say
aggressive instead.
They like to mince the worlditself, but we don't know what
it is.
We're actually really assertivewhen you're not used to people
(12:28):
being con confident, and sothey'll do anything to come and
snuff you out because if you'renot suppressed, you're going to
overturn the system and theydon't like it.
And I wanted to include thisquote for you.
You were never too much.
(12:50):
You were just too real forpeople who weren't ready for the
truth of you.
And man, that's a word, isn'tit?
You were never too much.
You were just too real forpeople who weren't ready for the
truth of you.
And honestly, not everybody ismeant to hold your truth.
(13:11):
Not everybody's meant to bask inyour truth.
Not everybody is meant towitness because you don't have
to explain your truth to nobody.
It is what it is.
Don't waste your time proving itto nobody.
We're not abandoning ourselvesno more.
We're not shrinking anymore.
(13:32):
But Shay, if this is what'sliving within me when shrinking
shows up, like how will I know?
You'll know when shrinking showsup in your life because you're
avoiding conflict to be liked.
Yeah.
When you're just acceptinganybody's idea, despite that, it
makes you uncomfortable.
(13:54):
You feel that pitting yourself.
Stomach.
It makes you anxious.
You feel depressed.
Yeah, probably maybe even end uphitting yourself a little bit
more every time, just becauseyou don't wanna say no because
you wanna be agreeable.
That goes back to the society.
We're supposed to be digestible.
And that means we should beagreeing, we should be, yes.
(14:16):
People don't have a thought.
I'll do the thinking.
You just sit there and lookpretty, dimming accomplishments
that feel.
Relatable because now we'retaught, oh, you're being
arrogant.
That's you're being a narcissistjust for being proud and about
(14:38):
your accomplishments, but nowyou're dimming it like, oh, oh
yeah.
I mean like, yeah, that'snothing.
I, I definitely, I hear youlike, yeah, it's just a little
master's degree, you know?
I got my little master's and itwent about my day.
Absolutely not.
But that's how it shows up whenyou just start diminishing
(14:59):
things that are actually reallyimportant milestones in your
life.
Or if you're overexplaining andapologizing or apologizing for
your emotions.
I'm sorry that I cried in frontof you.
I'm, I'm, I'm sorry that I am,I'm feeling discombobulated.
I'm sorry.
I was anxious.
I'm sorry.
I'm feeling, or that, oh, youknow, I'm really anxious because
you know this will happen, andthen that don't happen.
(15:21):
Then this will happen, and thenthen you know, like, you know,
it's not really you.
It's really just I slow down.
I see that one a lot in mysessions with women so often,
even some of my men.
But since I see a lot of women,I see that so often, always
(15:42):
apologizing to me in session.
For crying, for gettingemotional A, about situations
that rightfully are emotional.
They're emotional.
If you're telling me about atraumatic experience.
Yeah.
If you're recalling the detailsof how it hurt your heart and
how you felt unsafe, and howyour life was turned upside
(16:04):
down.
Yeah.
That deserves some tears andmaybe some anger or frustration
or some hopelessness or whateveryou're feeling in the moment
that deserves all of it.
It's so valid, and yet everytime, no matter how many times
I've been say in session, it'sokay girl.
No need to apologize.
(16:26):
Your emotions are fine.
They're meant to be here.
This is a safe space for them.
They'll still kind of do it.
It'll lessen over time, but soused to having to apologize just
for feeling because that's toomuch.
And as I mentioned earlier,another sign silencing your joy,
(16:48):
excitement, or grief to bechill, quote unquote,
nonchalant.
One of the boys don't do toomuch.
You just neglecting the stuffthat makes your heart light up
just to be accepted so that youdon't look like someone that's
(17:11):
too emotional.
Because if you're too emotional,that means you can't handle the
tasks that are coming to you oryou're not reliable, liable.
And then another, it'sattracting relationships.
Where emotional depth isdismissed or feared.
Those are your very surfacelevel relationships.
(17:33):
When your partner, when you'retrying to be vulnerable and that
creates intimacy and you'retrying to dig a bit and
understand what's going on forboth you and your partner.
And when you're just asking forsome clarification or wanting to
understand or even expressinghow something made you feel, and
(17:56):
then it's turned back on you, orit's that, that's not important.
It's not a big deal.
It's a big deal to you, but it'snot a big deal to me.
I think you're making a big dealout of nothing.
You're making a molehill out ofan anthill like you are just,
you're really doing too muchright now and you need to slow
(18:17):
it down.
You need to think about it.
Yeah.
Or if it's fear, which istypically what it is too in
those relationships, is thatyour partner is not used to.
Vulnerability themselves.
So they're afraid of fallingdown in that deep because we all
have negative views of ourself.
(18:37):
The internal messages happen.
So it happens.
Yeah.
Unfortunately we all have'em,but yeah, you're, it's either
dismissed or it's feared becausenow if you have emotions and you
start calling out people andholding them accountable, ah,
ah, they don't like that.
And that's when you get thespeech.
Yo, you're doing the most.
(18:58):
I gotta leave right now.
When you get it together.
I come back when you startacting right.
I'll get back.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry if you've actuallyever experienced that.
I, so sorry.
I want affirmation for you, andwe're gonna just take a deep
(19:20):
breath in down.
And your affirmation is I nolonger apologize for the way my
soul was designed to express.
I no longer apologize for theway my soul was designed to
(19:44):
express.
You really have nothing toapologize for.
You're being who you're meant tobe.
In tune with yourself yourmeant.
To listen to your heart, you aremeant to die deep and build
insight and understand whatmakes you tick, what makes you
smile, what makes you cry, whatmakes you fearful, what makes
(20:06):
you sad, which makes you angry,all whatnot.
You are meant to know all ofthese emotions.
Your sensitivity is not a flaw.
It is a superpower.
Emotional depth equals empathy,intuition, connection, and
creativity.
(20:28):
Yes.
Without your emotions, how doyou become empathetic if you
don't understand them?
How do you build discernment ifyou are not attuned to yourself?
How do you build connection withothers if you don't share a
laugh?
A smile or just these emotionalexperiences with people.
(20:48):
How do you even tap intocreativity when that is based on
your emotions as well?
Take that with you.
That's your superpower.
Be emotional.
We're meant to be emotional.
Being expressive means you haveaccess to your inner world, and
(21:10):
that is a beautiful healing.
Having that connection after solong of being disconnected'cause
others told you that's wrong todo, no clue they were wrong,
they were ripping you and takingaway your birthright to be
expressive.
Get access to your sub.
(21:30):
Have access to that beautifulworld you have within a view,
within a view within you,because that's healing,
normalized, crying, and I getit.
I don't like it either.
The headaches, the snoggingnose, the red eye, that's not
the cutest thing.
And I'm not the cutest crier.
I don't like it.
But when it happens, it happens.
It is a natural physicalresponse from your body to
(21:52):
release even your body.
Knows.
Even when you're not attuned,sometimes that crying your body
knows that, oh, I gotta let thatgo.
That's not meant to stay withinme.
So it releases'cause that'sstressful to hold onto.
So normalize, crying, normalizespeaking up, advocate for
(22:15):
yourself because if you don't,who will?
Sometimes we might have thosebeautiful friendships, those
people by our side that.
Uplift us and encourage us andstep in front of us and protect
us sometimes.
But when that person's not therebecause you're dealing with
their own things, you gotta beyour biggest supporter.
(22:36):
You gotta speak up for you.
Ask questions.
You are not stupid.
You are not being dramatic.
You are not being combative.
You are being inquisitive, andthat's a beautiful thing.
It's needed to be a wise personand normalize feeling fully, yet
(23:01):
feel all those emotions.
Deeply.
Try not to shy away from youremotions.
Try not to shame them and tell'em they're wrong, and I mean, I
get it sometimes.
Appropriate place and time.
But when you do have the safespace, whether that's just a
moment to yourself, whateverthat feeling that's popping up
for you, allow it to come Feelit fully.
(23:24):
Where is it?
Is it in your chest?
Is it in the fit of yourstomach?
Is it in your hands?
Are you clenching in your jaw?
Do you taste D?
Does things just tastesdifferently?
I don't just feel fully knowwhat this emotion does to you.
And know the difference betweenemotional immaturity and
(23:47):
emotional richness.
Immaturity is rooted ininsecurity.
Again, that's you not beingattuned to yourself.
When we are emotionallyimmature, we just take
everything as an attack and it'sa tip for tat.
That's when the passiveaggressive communication comes
(24:08):
and aggressive too as well,because we're not addressing the
negative view of self.
That's what's in us.
We're not addressing that ugly,we're not addressing that.
That shadow side, and because wesee it as a flaw.
So you try to project yourinsecurities on others.
(24:28):
Oh, we're not doing that.
We're emotionally rich here.
We're not emotionally barren.
We are gonna be all up in ourfeelings.
All the ones that make you shunand kind of shake or cringe,
it's okay.
We're taking those in toobecause we're rich here.
We feel all it pours into us andthen we release it.
(24:48):
It is a wave.
It comes in when it needs to andit leaves the shore when it
needs to.
It's okay.
We are in control of ouremotions.
When they come, you feel them.
Sometimes some emotions hurt.
That's our emotion itself hurt,and we don't wanna feel hurt.
No one does.
(25:08):
I know that's when we tend torun away a lot from humiliation
to in violation.
Bitterness.
Resentment, try to run from itbecause you wanna be positive,
but how can you be a positivelight if you don't?
Acknowledge those parts of you.
They're part of you too.
You feel those way for a reasonbecause there is a threat.
(25:28):
Address the threat.
Be emotionally rich.
Feel it.
Is your superpower, like whatour next hump, what parts of
myself have I tried to tone downto be accepted?
(25:51):
What happens if I just.
Stopped.
What would happen if you juststopped pleasing others and
started to please yourself?
What would happen if you toneddown being accepted from others?
And tuned up, being accepted toyourself.
(26:16):
My emotional death is a portalto wisdom, intimacy, and truth.
Let that sink for you myemotional death.
It's a portal to wisdom,intimacy, and truth.
(26:36):
You are meant to reclaim yourfullness that all that emotional
richness without shame, and someof these tools we.
Practiced and talked aboutbefore.
Use I statements.
I feel statementsunapologetically.
People can feel how they wannafeel and they get to say it, and
(26:58):
so do you.
You have a right to beexpressive.
You have a right to say what'sbothering you.
You have a right to say what youenjoy.
You have a right to providefeedback.
I feel insert whatever you arefeeling.
And we're not, shame ourselvesfor it.
Ask for emotional safety in yourrelationships.
(27:22):
Ask for that space to just befor no judgment, to just release
and when you're ready forfeedback and.
You can ask from that for your,from your relationships.
It's okay to ask.
I mentioned in previoussessions, I asked my friends if
they have space for me, ifthey're too busy, if they're
(27:43):
with something, I have somethingon my heart, and if it's too
much, well, right now they ain'tgot the space and I have to
accept that.
But it's okay for you to ask foremotional safety.
There's nothing to be shamefulabout that.
There's no shaming or guiltabout it.
You hold space for other people.
Let them hold it for you too.
(28:05):
Let yourself be loud or quiet.
Big or soft or raw.
Let yourself be a spectrum,rainbow.
Let yourself be a rainbow.
You can feel however you wantand you can express yourself.
You have that pal.
(28:27):
Choose environments thatcelebrate your fullness, not
just tolerate.
'cause there is a difference.
People who don't feel thathappiness or excitement or any
type of celebratory for yourcompliment accomplishments, you
as a person, release thosepeople.
I'll release them by at leaststart distancing yourself very
(28:49):
slowly because those are thepeople that tolerate you until
you mess up.
And then they got.
Things to talk about.
Have an environment where it'sgo, girl, you got this.
You're doing it.
That's a beautifulaccomplishment.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm so happy for you.
Oh, you deserve the best.
Those friendships, thoseenvironments, cultivate those.
(29:14):
Choose those.
Choose to not be shamed.
Choose to escape the shame.
You already honestly are yourworst enemy.
You don't need others to do itfor you.
Choose environments thatcelebrate you and let your body
express too, that's what it'smeant to do.
(29:36):
Whether that's through tears,laughter, movement, or even
stillness.
Allow your.
Self give permission for thebody to express so it can
understand this is normal, thisis healthy, this is what is
needed.
(29:56):
I am not meant to carry all thiswithin.
Let it go, let it go, let itshine.
I do not need to shrink in orderto be loved.
I expand and still belong.
You do not need this shrink inorder to be loved.
(30:20):
You expand and you still belong.
Mm, I love this for you guys.
So though my birthday haspassed, I still leave this with
you guys.
A birthday blessing per se frommy heart as I enter chapter 34
and I am on my path to embodyingmy true self, my gift to myself
(30:47):
this year and to you is allowingsoftness and fire to code
exists.
I hope you give yourself thesame gift, the freedom to be all
of who you are.
My best friend, one of my bestfriends, she has always told me
(31:08):
I am a woman on fire, and firesare so beautiful.
They're so strong and yet sovulnerable.
At the same time, you have tobreathe life into them in order
for them to take shape andreally grow and expand.
(31:30):
So when you don't breathe lifeinto you and you stop the oxygen
by being deme and quiet andagreeable, digestible, you are
suffocating your fire.
You're not.
You don't have to do that.
(31:50):
You don't have to do that.
But let your fire coexist withyour softness.
Set the world of blades andlight the way some things need
to be destroyed.
Order.
For new things to grow is eventhe order of nature at times.
(32:11):
So I hope you give yourself thefreedom to be all of who you
are.
And I'll put this journalprompt.
Of course, this is for after atthe.
So for you to think about, writedown if you like, or maybe just
talk out loud and discuss withyour own besties, what would it
(32:32):
look like to live like?
I am already worthy of taking upspace.
Hmm.
What would it look like to livelike?
I am already worthy of taking upspace because boo, you truly
are.
(32:53):
You are so worthy of it.
You're so worthy of joy andhappiness.
You are worthy of being you andexpressive and animated and
goofy and silly.
You are so worthy of all of thatand more.
Now, really think about whatwould it be like if you already
(33:17):
felt that you were both withtaking the space?
Imagine that.
And run towards that version ofyou.
Little steps to bringing her toreality to your life.
Hmm.
So I'm gonna put those promptson Instagram because that's
(33:39):
where I put'em, and I encourageyou to tag or DM me with what
being too much used to mean toyou.
And how you are redefining it.
Now, I would love to hear fromyou guys, so when I put them up
here, I would love for you guysto tag it in your stories, put
(34:02):
in the comments.
I would love for you guys toeven DM it to me if you feel shy
and that's okay.
'cause we're learning here.
It's not, it's gonna bedifficult.
You can't just change years ofprogramming from negativity to
this new found free, liberatedversion of yourself.
It takes some time and becompassionate with yourself.
(34:25):
It's a journey.
So definitely let me know howwe're redefining being too much.
'cause for me, I don't see it asbeing too much.
I see it as I'm bright and maybeyou just.
Too.
Damn.
Maybe you too dark.
Maybe you wish you could be thismuch.
(34:47):
I'm being, I'm meant to be you.
I'm being touche, and I'm goingto keep being touche.
So whether you're celebratingyour own softness or still
learning how to let it in,remember.
Your bigness, your tears, yourtenderness, your joy.
(35:10):
It's not too much.
It's magic girl and it's yours.
You are not too much.
You are exactly enough, and yougive yourself permission to take
up space.
And if you wanna turn it to anaffirmation, I am not too much.
(35:35):
I am exactly enough and I givemyself permission to take up
space.
I write my loves.
I adore you.
Follow me on Instagram at ShiftHappens with Shay.
You can also email me at ShiftHappens with shay@gmail.com.
(35:56):
I'm also on LinkedIn.
Follow me there, YouTube.
I'm putting out some guidedmeditations or some dear self
affirmations for you to recitewhen you're feeling you need a
little more touch or some TLCwith your inner child.
I love you guys.
Have a beautiful week andwoo-hoo Juneteenth.
(36:20):
Be loud.
Be proud.
My loves.
Love you guys.
Bye.
No.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.