Thinking about a big life change — starting a new job, moving, or beginning a relationship? This episode is your gentle guide to navigating major life transitions with more clarity, groundedness, and self-trust.
✨ In this episode, Rae shares a somatic approach to life changes, inspired by fresh waves of creativity after an expansive trip to Scotland (spoiler: Isle of Skye & Edinburgh magic!). You’ll hear practical steps, embodied questions, and supportive tools to help you move through any transition feeling anchored in your truth.
In this episode you’ll explore:
🌱 The Facts
🌱 The Possibilities
🌱 Your Nervous System
🌱 Support (Without Outsourcing)
🌱 Takeaway: You can move through big changes from a grounded, safe place. When you trust your inner compass and honor what’s true for you, there really are no “wrong” choices — only lessons and expansion.
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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae,I'm a somatic coach and
breathwork facilitator, and ifyou aren't new here, welcome
back.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
So some life updates before wedive in.
I did just get back fromScotland a few weeks ago.
It was absolutely amazing.
(00:23):
I highly recommend it.
Uh, the first half of our tripwe did of isle of sky, which is
like the scottish highlands, andwe got to go on a bunch of
different hikes.
We went on a little bit of aboat tour.
We got to see all differentbirds and animals out in the
water and we went on this onehike through what's called the
fairy pools and it was likeevery few feet was a different
(00:47):
waterfall and it just felt likepure magic.
It just like the landscapethere looks so surreal, really
just so beautiful.
And then the second half of ourtrip we drove back from Isle of
Skye back to the city, uh, toEdinburgh.
And in Edinburgh we got to domore.
(01:10):
You know that city, city life.
Um, we, our hotel was in such aperfect spot, which was really
nice.
We were central to everything,um, so, yeah, highly recommend
Scotland.
If you need any recos, justreach out.
And while was there, I got a fewwaves of creativity.
You know, while I was travelingand on my trip, travel
(01:32):
specifically can be superexpansive for me.
I love it.
I think it's nice to like shakeup the day-to-day routine and
see what comes through, and sothis podcast episode was one of
those ideas.
Whenever I get a creative hit,I like to keep just like a note
section in my phone and then Ikind of just yeah, just write
(01:56):
down like all my ideas, and thensome of them stick and some of
them I just forget about.
But this episode is one ofthose ideas.
So something that I talk a lotabout with my clients a lot is,
you know, big life transitions,like making big life changes.
It's like things might even begoing really well, but you know
(02:18):
that something needs to shift,something needs to change, and
so I thought that today it wouldbe fun to chat more about how
to navigate those big lifechanges, what it might look like
, and I tried to just, you know,break it down in a way that
would be supportive, easy todigest and fun.
So let's dive in, shall we?
(02:40):
So, when it comes to big lifechanges, we're talking like
getting a new job, leaving anold job, starting a relationship
, ending a relationship, movingto a new place, buying a new car
, getting married, having a baby.
We're talking about prettysignificant things that can
(03:00):
happen in our lives, that aresometimes predictable, sometimes
unpredictable, sometimes ourchoice and in our control, and
sometimes out of our control,but either way, they require
something from us.
So, in that, whatever it'scalling forward in us, it can
bring up emotions, it can bringup fears, it can bring up hard
(03:25):
conversations, relationaldynamics.
There are so many things thatcan come to the surface when we
start to consider a change and abig life shift.
And so four things that I thinkare important to consider
before taking the big leapforward into whatever it might
be that is happening in ourlives.
(03:46):
That's what I broke it downinto today.
So the first one that I want tochat about with you is really
being able to sit with the facts, being able to start with what
is real and what is tangible andwhat is really going on in this
big life change, in this momentof what might be coming up for
(04:08):
you.
So that could look likechecking in with your finances.
That could look like checkingin with any contracts that you
might be going on.
If you need to consider debt,if you need to consider timing,
for example, if you are lookingto transition from one job into
(04:29):
another job, do you have anon-compete?
Do you have a debt that youneed to take into account?
So you can't really just quitone job.
You need to line up another job, like really being giving
yourself a moment to just kindof sit and be with what is real,
what are the facts and thisisn't about listening to fear.
(04:51):
It's not so much like these areall the reasons why I can't
make this change.
It's not about that.
It's about asking yourself whatis real, what are the facts,
what needs to be honored herebefore I can move forward.
An example that I can evenshare for myself is there was a
time where I took on another job, like a second job, because I
(05:14):
had some debt that I wanted topay off.
So I highly recommend doingthat.
It really allowed me to getreal with myself and what was
stressing me out and what wasimportant to me, and allowed me
to sit with the facts of whatwas happening in my life and
ultimately, it allowed me tofeel more grounded in my choice
(05:34):
and in the change, I felt like Iwas anchored in what this pivot
was really all about.
And so how might that translateinto what you're looking to
change?
Whatever that big leap forwardis, whatever that big change is,
how can sitting with the factsof what's coming up for you, how
(05:55):
can that serve you?
What needs to be honored herebefore you are able to really
move forward?
And then the second factor toconsider is what are the
possibilities here?
So you are not stuck.
You are never, ever stuck.
That is it.
We like to think that we'restuck.
(06:16):
We believe that we're stuckbecause of our emotions and our
fears and what's going on in ourlives.
But you are not stuck.
So what is possible here?
Can you create some space forcreativity?
So I'm using the job.
I mean, I'm using the exampleof looking for a new job, but
(06:36):
any example that might apply foryou.
Are there creative solutionshere?
So that might look likereaching out to your network.
That could look like, uh,taking on a part-time job to
bridge gaps between jobs.
Um, what is what becomespossible for you if you allow
yourself the freedom to becreative with a solution to this
(07:00):
new change?
And then the third factor that Iwant to share with you is
considering the nervous system,considering the body and the
conversation.
So big changes can stir upnervous system responses, they
can put you into the freeze, thefight, the flight, the fawn.
They can create urgency.
(07:21):
Again, that sense, that feelingof stuckness might be present.
So it's like something needs tochange and something needs to
change right now and that cantrigger, like a nervous system
response.
So, really tuning into the body,tuning into your experience,
what do you need right now andwhat does your body need right
now?
What, what might bring you asense of comfort, a sense of
(07:46):
safety in a time that can feelunsettling.
Do you need a plan?
Do you need a timeline?
Do you need time toself-regulate and build trust
with the unknown?
To self-regulate and buildtrust with the unknown, do you
(08:09):
need more support from yourfriends, from your family, from
your partner, and allow thischeck in with the nervous system
and check in with the body tohelp you to stay connected to
your inner knowing, to yourinner compass and make choices
from a place that feels reallyaligned for you.
Because again, we're startingwith that first factor, which is
(08:32):
grounding.
You're going to feel groundedin the facts.
The second, which was you'regoing to feel creative in the
possibilities, you're not stuck.
And then the third is you'regoing to check in with your body
and you're going to stayconnected to your body and
you're going to stay connectedto your intuition and your inner
knowing, because, in the end ofthe day, you know, you have an
(08:52):
idea, you have a knowing that isgoing to support you through
predictable or unpredictable biglife changes.
And then the fourth factor toconsider is really maintaining
contact with your support system.
So, do you have people in yourlife your friends, your family,
(09:13):
your partner to lean on througha big life change?
Can you be honest with themabout how you're feeling?
And if you don't because thatcan be a reality for some people
too their support system canfeel kind of rocky.
Can you build one that can looklike reaching out to someone
that you trust, or buildingtrust with someone new, a
(09:34):
counselor, a therapist, a coach,whatever that might look like
to help you feel more supported?
And I disclaimer here as well ifyou do have a history with
people pleasing or likeoutsourcing your truth, so you
can like leaning on that supportsystem you can go into like,
well, what do you think?
(09:54):
What do you think I should do?
What can?
What's your advice?
You can go into, like thatadvice overwhelm, where now your
inner knowing feels all likemuddy and confused because
you've taken on everybody else'sopinion of what you wanted,
what you want to change or whatyou want to do.
So if you're, you know, lookingfor a new job, they're like oh,
(10:17):
you've been in the industry for20 years, why would you change?
Now?
It's like, well, that's becauseyour inner knowing is telling
you that you want to change.
That's why it doesn't need tomake sense to anybody else.
So if you have a history oflike outsourcing your truth and
your wisdom, definitely beingmindful with that when you are
leaning on your support systemas well, ultimately, yeah, you
(10:41):
want to make an informed choicefor you and you know I'm a
believer that there's no wrongchoice.
There's definitely, of course,like lessons and things that
might make sense when we likehindsight is 20-20, of course,
but if your inner knowing isspeaking to you and wants to
make a change, I don't thinkthere's like a wrong choice.
(11:02):
It's just a matter of coming upwith a way that would really
feel supportive for you and feellike your nervous system can
handle it and you have thesupport in place and you're yeah
, you're not stuck.
You can always pivot and change.
So invitation here what wouldbe the decision I would make if
(11:23):
I deeply trusted myself?
So to recap the four factors toconsider before taking the leap
forward, making a big lifechange the first is, yeah,
getting real with what the factsare.
What is true here, what istangible, what is real.
The second is leaning into thepossibilities, creating space
(11:45):
for creativity, for possibilityfor change, for freedom to be
creative.
The third is considering yournervous system, checking in with
your body.
What do you need to bring asense of safety?
What does your body need?
Does that look like a timelineplan, time to regulate support?
(12:07):
And then the fourth ismaintaining contact with your
support system, asking forsupport, leaning on the people
around you and continuing tostill trust your inner, knowing,
although people are there tosupport you as well, you can
move through big transitionsfrom a grounded and safe place,
but you can also.
You can trust your innerknowing when things get shaky.
(12:29):
You can also receive supportfrom those around you when life
transitions happen.
So if you are looking to make achange, maybe you're looking to
start a new job or quit your oldjob or start a new relationship
or move across the country orbuy a new car or get married or
(12:49):
have a baby.
And yeah, we're talking aboutchanges that are pretty
predictable and unpredictabletoo, but, uh, they can bring up
some significant things in ourlife with these big changes.
You know emotions, fears, uh,hard conversations, relational
dynamics can shift finances.
You know big things in our life.
(13:10):
So, considering these fourfactors whenever those moments
arise for you.
So that is what we have fortoday's episode, as always.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
If anything here landed for youand you find that you're going
through a big life transition, Idid recently update my website
to show an option for somatictherapy.
(13:32):
So if you are in New York state, I now accept insurance for
somatic therapy, and if you'renot in New York state and you
still want to check out someoptions and offerings for the
ways that we could work together, I did also update my website
to include somatic coaching andsomatic breath work as
opportunities for us to worktogether If you are moving
through a big life transition.
(13:52):
I have got you.
So thanks so much for tuning infor today's episode.
I can't wait to chat with younext week.
I hope that you have anincredible rest of your day, an
incredible rest of your week,and I will talk to you soon.
Thank you for being here andtuning in to Somatic Healing for
Wellness-Focused Women podcast.
(14:13):
If you were moved or inspiredby today's episode, please take
a moment to leave a rating andreview on Apple Podcasts.
It truly helps the podcast growand helps more people find me
on their healing journey.
Make sure to check out the shownotes, to sign up for the
monthly newsletter, links tomore resources, opportunities to
work with me and ways that wecan stay connected.
(14:35):
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
Instagram to follow me atraythesomaticcoach.
Send me a DM.
I'd love to connect with youand I answer each note that
comes in.
I am so happy you're here and Icannot wait to talk with you on
our next episode of the podcast.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae,I'm a somatic coach and
breathwork facilitator, and ifyou aren't new here, welcome
back.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
So some life updates before wedive in.
I did just get back fromScotland a few weeks ago.
It was absolutely amazing.
(00:23):
I highly recommend it.
Uh, the first half of our tripwe did of isle of sky, which is
like the scottish highlands, andwe got to go on a bunch of
different hikes.
We went on a little bit of aboat tour.
We got to see all differentbirds and animals out in the
water and we went on this onehike through what's called the
fairy pools and it was likeevery few feet was a different
(00:47):
waterfall and it just felt likepure magic.
It just like the landscapethere looks so surreal, really
just so beautiful.
And then the second half of ourtrip we drove back from Isle of
Skye back to the city, uh, toEdinburgh.
And in Edinburgh we got to domore.
(01:10):
You know that city, city life.
Um, we, our hotel was in such aperfect spot, which was really
nice.
We were central to everything,um, so, yeah, highly recommend
Scotland.
If you need any recos, justreach out.
And while was there, I got a fewwaves of creativity.
You know, while I was travelingand on my trip, travel
(01:32):
specifically can be superexpansive for me.
I love it.
I think it's nice to like shakeup the day-to-day routine and
see what comes through, and sothis podcast episode was one of
those ideas.
Whenever I get a creative hit,I like to keep just like a note
section in my phone and then Ikind of just yeah, just write
(01:56):
down like all my ideas, and thensome of them stick and some of
them I just forget about.
But this episode is one ofthose ideas.
So something that I talk a lotabout with my clients a lot is,
you know, big life transitions,like making big life changes.
It's like things might even begoing really well, but you know
(02:18):
that something needs to shift,something needs to change, and
so I thought that today it wouldbe fun to chat more about how
to navigate those big lifechanges, what it might look like
, and I tried to just, you know,break it down in a way that
would be supportive, easy todigest and fun.
So let's dive in, shall we?
(02:40):
So, when it comes to big lifechanges, we're talking like
getting a new job, leaving anold job, starting a relationship
, ending a relationship, movingto a new place, buying a new car
, getting married, having a baby.
We're talking about prettysignificant things that can
(03:00):
happen in our lives, that aresometimes predictable, sometimes
unpredictable, sometimes ourchoice and in our control, and
sometimes out of our control,but either way, they require
something from us.
So, in that, whatever it'scalling forward in us, it can
bring up emotions, it can bringup fears, it can bring up hard
(03:25):
conversations, relationaldynamics.
There are so many things thatcan come to the surface when we
start to consider a change and abig life shift.
And so four things that I thinkare important to consider
before taking the big leapforward into whatever it might
be that is happening in ourlives.
(03:46):
That's what I broke it downinto today.
So the first one that I want tochat about with you is really
being able to sit with the facts, being able to start with what
is real and what is tangible andwhat is really going on in this
big life change, in this momentof what might be coming up for
(04:08):
you.
So that could look likechecking in with your finances.
That could look like checkingin with any contracts that you
might be going on.
If you need to consider debt,if you need to consider timing,
for example, if you are lookingto transition from one job into
(04:29):
another job, do you have anon-compete?
Do you have a debt that youneed to take into account?
So you can't really just quitone job.
You need to line up another job, like really being giving
yourself a moment to just kindof sit and be with what is real,
what are the facts and thisisn't about listening to fear.
(04:51):
It's not so much like these areall the reasons why I can't
make this change.
It's not about that.
It's about asking yourself whatis real, what are the facts,
what needs to be honored herebefore I can move forward.
An example that I can evenshare for myself is there was a
time where I took on another job, like a second job, because I
(05:14):
had some debt that I wanted topay off.
So I highly recommend doingthat.
It really allowed me to getreal with myself and what was
stressing me out and what wasimportant to me, and allowed me
to sit with the facts of whatwas happening in my life and
ultimately, it allowed me tofeel more grounded in my choice
(05:34):
and in the change, I felt like Iwas anchored in what this pivot
was really all about.
And so how might that translateinto what you're looking to
change?
Whatever that big leap forwardis, whatever that big change is,
how can sitting with the factsof what's coming up for you, how
(05:55):
can that serve you?
What needs to be honored herebefore you are able to really
move forward?
And then the second factor toconsider is what are the
possibilities here?
So you are not stuck.
You are never, ever stuck.
That is it.
We like to think that we'restuck.
(06:16):
We believe that we're stuckbecause of our emotions and our
fears and what's going on in ourlives.
But you are not stuck.
So what is possible here?
Can you create some space forcreativity?
So I'm using the job.
I mean, I'm using the exampleof looking for a new job, but
(06:36):
any example that might apply foryou.
Are there creative solutionshere?
So that might look likereaching out to your network.
That could look like, uh,taking on a part-time job to
bridge gaps between jobs.
Um, what is what becomespossible for you if you allow
yourself the freedom to becreative with a solution to this
(07:00):
new change?
And then the third factor that Iwant to share with you is
considering the nervous system,considering the body and the
conversation.
So big changes can stir upnervous system responses, they
can put you into the freeze, thefight, the flight, the fawn.
They can create urgency.
(07:21):
Again, that sense, that feelingof stuckness might be present.
So it's like something needs tochange and something needs to
change right now and that cantrigger, like a nervous system
response.
So, really tuning into the body,tuning into your experience,
what do you need right now andwhat does your body need right
now?
What, what might bring you asense of comfort, a sense of
(07:46):
safety in a time that can feelunsettling.
Do you need a plan?
Do you need a timeline?
Do you need time toself-regulate and build trust
with the unknown?
To self-regulate and buildtrust with the unknown, do you
(08:09):
need more support from yourfriends, from your family, from
your partner, and allow thischeck in with the nervous system
and check in with the body tohelp you to stay connected to
your inner knowing, to yourinner compass and make choices
from a place that feels reallyaligned for you.
Because again, we're startingwith that first factor, which is
(08:32):
grounding.
You're going to feel groundedin the facts.
The second, which was you'regoing to feel creative in the
possibilities, you're not stuck.
And then the third is you'regoing to check in with your body
and you're going to stayconnected to your body and
you're going to stay connectedto your intuition and your inner
knowing, because, in the end ofthe day, you know, you have an
(08:52):
idea, you have a knowing that isgoing to support you through
predictable or unpredictable biglife changes.
And then the fourth factor toconsider is really maintaining
contact with your support system.
So, do you have people in yourlife your friends, your family,
(09:13):
your partner to lean on througha big life change?
Can you be honest with themabout how you're feeling?
And if you don't because thatcan be a reality for some people
too their support system canfeel kind of rocky.
Can you build one that can looklike reaching out to someone
that you trust, or buildingtrust with someone new, a
(09:34):
counselor, a therapist, a coach,whatever that might look like
to help you feel more supported?
And I disclaimer here as well ifyou do have a history with
people pleasing or likeoutsourcing your truth, so you
can like leaning on that supportsystem you can go into like,
well, what do you think?
(09:54):
What do you think I should do?
What can?
What's your advice?
You can go into, like thatadvice overwhelm, where now your
inner knowing feels all likemuddy and confused because
you've taken on everybody else'sopinion of what you wanted,
what you want to change or whatyou want to do.
So if you're, you know, lookingfor a new job, they're like oh,
(10:17):
you've been in the industry for20 years, why would you change?
Now?
It's like, well, that's becauseyour inner knowing is telling
you that you want to change.
That's why it doesn't need tomake sense to anybody else.
So if you have a history oflike outsourcing your truth and
your wisdom, definitely beingmindful with that when you are
leaning on your support systemas well, ultimately, yeah, you
(10:41):
want to make an informed choicefor you and you know I'm a
believer that there's no wrongchoice.
There's definitely, of course,like lessons and things that
might make sense when we likehindsight is 20-20, of course,
but if your inner knowing isspeaking to you and wants to
make a change, I don't thinkthere's like a wrong choice.
(11:02):
It's just a matter of coming upwith a way that would really
feel supportive for you and feellike your nervous system can
handle it and you have thesupport in place and you're yeah
, you're not stuck.
You can always pivot and change.
So invitation here what wouldbe the decision I would make if
(11:23):
I deeply trusted myself?
So to recap the four factors toconsider before taking the leap
forward, making a big lifechange the first is, yeah,
getting real with what the factsare.
What is true here, what istangible, what is real.
The second is leaning into thepossibilities, creating space
(11:45):
for creativity, for possibilityfor change, for freedom to be
creative.
The third is considering yournervous system, checking in with
your body.
What do you need to bring asense of safety?
What does your body need?
Does that look like a timelineplan, time to regulate support?
(12:07):
And then the fourth ismaintaining contact with your
support system, asking forsupport, leaning on the people
around you and continuing tostill trust your inner, knowing,
although people are there tosupport you as well, you can
move through big transitionsfrom a grounded and safe place,
but you can also.
You can trust your innerknowing when things get shaky.
(12:29):
You can also receive supportfrom those around you when life
transitions happen.
So if you are looking to make achange, maybe you're looking to
start a new job or quit your oldjob or start a new relationship
or move across the country orbuy a new car or get married or
(12:49):
have a baby.
And yeah, we're talking aboutchanges that are pretty
predictable and unpredictabletoo, but, uh, they can bring up
some significant things in ourlife with these big changes.
You know emotions, fears, uh,hard conversations, relational
dynamics can shift finances.
You know big things in our life.
(13:10):
So, considering these fourfactors whenever those moments
arise for you.
So that is what we have fortoday's episode, as always.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
If anything here landed for youand you find that you're going
through a big life transition, Idid recently update my website
to show an option for somatictherapy.
(13:32):
So if you are in New York state, I now accept insurance for
somatic therapy, and if you'renot in New York state and you
still want to check out someoptions and offerings for the
ways that we could work together, I did also update my website
to include somatic coaching andsomatic breath work as
opportunities for us to worktogether If you are moving
through a big life transition.
(13:52):
I have got you.
So thanks so much for tuning infor today's episode.
I can't wait to chat with younext week.
I hope that you have anincredible rest of your day, an
incredible rest of your week,and I will talk to you soon.
Thank you for being here andtuning in to Somatic Healing for
Wellness-Focused Women podcast.
(14:13):
If you were moved or inspiredby today's episode, please take
a moment to leave a rating andreview on Apple Podcasts.
It truly helps the podcast growand helps more people find me
on their healing journey.
Make sure to check out the shownotes, to sign up for the
monthly newsletter, links tomore resources, opportunities to
work with me and ways that wecan stay connected.
(14:35):
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
Instagram to follow me atraythesomaticcoach.
Send me a DM.
I'd love to connect with youand I answer each note that
comes in.
I am so happy you're here and Icannot wait to talk with you on
our next episode of the podcast.
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